Forgiving One Another Even As God

by Pastor Dana A. Holmes

Wrong teaching and following the will of the flesh, the will of the mind, and the wisdom of this world have brought much confusion to many regarding the subject of forgiving one another. I want to shed light on this subject and bring freedom to many. However, in part one, I want to examine what true biblical forgiveness is. Forgiveness should and must be defined by the author of forgiveness himselfGod! That definition is found in Gods Word and has nothing to do with what you or I think or feel about it. In verse 32 of the above passage of scripture, we are commanded by God to forgive one another EVEN AS GOD. It is not a suggestion. If we are going to forgive EVEN AS GOD, we must first know how God forgives. First of all, we need to know what the word forgive means. According to Youngs Analytical Concordance to the Bible by Dr. Robert Young, there are several words, both in Hebrew and in Greek, that are translated forgive. They are as follows: to cover; to lift up or away; to send away; and to be gracious. Therefore, it is not possible to forgive someone and continue to treat them as though their sin has not been covered, lifted up or away, sent away, let go, loosed away, let off, etc. If you claim to have forgiven someone, you must treat him or her the same as if they had never sinned against you! According to Vines Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, Human forgiveness is to be strictly analogous to Divine forgiveness, e.g., Matthew 6:12, if certain conditions are fulfilled there is no limitation to Christs law of forgiveness, the conditions are repentance and confession. Now lets examine Gods forgiveness from the scriptures. I, even I, am He who BLOTS OUT your transgressions for my own sake; and will NOT remember your sins. Put me in remembrance; let us contend together; state your case, that you may be ACQUITTED. (Isaiah 43:25-26 NKJV [Emphasis mine]) If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to FORGIVE us our sins and to CLEANSE us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 NKJV [Emphasis mine]) When God forgives, our sins are washed away. When we truly forgive one another, the sins are washed away. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whoever believes in Him should NOT PERISH but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to CONDEMN the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. (John 3:16-17 NKJV [Emphasis mine]) The motivating force behind Gods forgiveness is His love for us. At its root, unforgiveness is refusal to walk in love. True BIBLICAL FORGIVENESS is the God-kind of forgiveness. One problem that believers have in the area of forgiveness is trying to forgive according to the wisdom of this world. The worlds wisdom says, I forgive you, but Ill never forget what youve done, or perhaps, Im not God. Therefore, I cant forgive you like He can. Its going to take me a while to get over this! The wisdom of this world also says things such as, Im sorry, but we all have our limitations, dont we? Beloved, this wisdom is not godly, but earthly, sensual, and devilish. (James 3:15) But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then PEACEABLE, gentle, willing to yield, FULL OF MERCY and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. (James 3:17 NKJV [Emphasis mine]) Similarly, some believers, through following the will of the flesh and of the mind, are lured into a false forgiveness. They have deceived themselves to believe that they have forgivenusually based on how they feel. If your forgiveness is any different from Gods forgiveness, it is a false forgiveness. Remember that we are to forgive one

another EVEN AS GOD. True forgiveness is not based on how we feel because, as you well know, feelings change. You can feel so warm and loving towards someone, until it seems like you can eat them. However, not long after, when they hurt you or anger you, your feelings change, and you begin to wish that you had eaten them! Dont trust your emotions, but rather trust Gods Word. Forgiving is done by faith, not feelings. Here is another area of difficulty caused by wrong teaching on the subject of forgiveness, and believe me, theres plenty of it going around. For instance, there are some who believe and teach that they can completely wash their hands of an individual by refusing to talk to, be in the presence of, or have anything to do with them, and at the same time walk in love and forgiveness towards them. Does God forgive that way? Imagine for a moment that you sinned against God but then repented and sought forgiveness. God declares that you are forgiven, but He does not want to have anything to do with you, nor be in your presence, or have anything to say to you. In such a case, the forgiveness would be fruitless, wouldnt you say? That is totally out of character for God and should also be out of character for you and me. Remember, forgive one another EVEN AS GOD! There are times when withdrawing fellowship from other believers is both right and necessary, but as we shall see, it is only when they are in sin. To withhold fellowship from people who have repented is blatant unforgiveness. In fact, you yourself become one in need of repentance. Lets examine closely some scriptures dealing with this very thing. 2 Thessalonians 3:6-15 NKJV reads, But we command you brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you WITHDRAW from every BROTHER who WALKS disorderly and NOT according to the tradition which he received of us. [Emphasis mine] Lets pause here and notice that they were instructed to WITHDRAW from every brother who WALKS or is PRESENTLY WALKING disorderly and not according to the tradition; which means that they were NOT at the time. He was not talking about brothers who didnt walk according to the tradition in the past, but about those who were presently walking disorderly. Lets continue with verse 11 . For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, NOT WORKING at all, but ARE busybodies. [Emphasis mine] Notice again that it is a PRESENT reality. Now what could these nonworking busybodies do to avoid having the fellowship of others withdrawn? Verse 12 gives the answer. Now those who ARE (present tense) such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they WORK in quietness and eat their own bread. [Emphasis mine] We need to realize that Pauls purpose behind the commandment was to bring the offender to repentance through personal shame. Once that was accomplished, there remained no more sin and, consequently, no more need to withdraw. Lets pick up in verse 14. And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, THAT HE MAY BE ASHAMED. Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother. Did you get that? If he doesnt obey, withdraw from him, but dont consider him your enemy! When you say things such as, That dog is no brother of mine, or If I never see them again, it will be too soon, or Dont even bring that persons name up in my presence, etc., this is a sure sign that you are dealing with unforgiveness. Another sign that you have not forgiven is when you continue to talk about the offense committed against you. If people are honest with themselves, theyll admit that the reason they keep talking about offenses committed against them is to somehow get back at the offender. In other words, theyre trying to get mileage out of it. Jesus commanded us to go to the offender and tell him his fault (offense) between him and us alone. Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and TELL HIM his fault between YOU and HIM ALONE. If he hears you, you have GAINED your brother. (Matthew 18:15 NKJV) What does Jesus mean when he says, If he hears you? In other words, if he acknowledges what you are saying and repents, then you would have gained your brother, and peace and fellowship is restored. At this point, it would be totally UNNECESSARY and WRONG to go to others and talk about the offense. This is GODS WAY of keeping Satan from causing confusion and destroying relationships. On the other hand, if the offender refuses to get right with you and acknowledge their sin, then and only then are you instructed to involve another person. But if he will not hear, TAKE WITH YOU (not tell one or two others privately) one or two more, that by the mouth of two or three WITNESSES every word may be established. (Matthew 18:16 NKJV [Emphasis mine])

Finally, as the last resort, we are to take it to the church as a last attempt to bring the offender to repentance before writing them off as a sinner. And if he REFUSES to HEAR THEM (notice that he refuses to HEAR THEM, implying that they tried to persuade him to repent) tell it to the church: But if he refuses even to hear the church, (again, HEAR THE CHURCH implies that the CHURCH tried to persuade him to repent) let him be to you like a heathen (sinner) and a tax collector. (Matthew 18:17 NKJV [Emphasis mine]) How many relationships have been destroyed by people refusing to obey this royal law of love? Only God knows the answer for sure, but its a serious indictment against the Church. There are some devastating effects suffered by many through disobedience of this simple law of love! When you are faced with the temptation of telling the facts about others or even spreading things that youve heard, perhaps the following rules should be considered before proceeding: RULE 1 - Is What Youre Reporting True? - Notice that the question is not, do you believe that what youre reporting is true? It is imperative that you know the information youre passing to others is true, because you will be held accountable before God for its effect on others. (Romans 14:12-13) RULE 2 Is It Necessary? - As we have already seen, when it comes to forgiving an offender, once the sin has been acknowledged and repented of, its not necessary or even right to pass it on to others. It is dangerous to pass on things youve heard. RULE 3 Is Your Motive Pure? - Some real soul searching may be necessary at this point. You should only be attempting to bring the offender to repentance so that there may be peace and reconciliation. (Matthew 18:15-17) RULE 4 Does It Benefit The Hearer? - Some people say, Im only trying to help others so that they wont be hurt also by this wicked person. Thats the only reason for my passing this information on. After all, I am my brothers keeper. Beloved, dont get duped by the enemy. This is a bogus attempt to hide your real motive and to give yourself a license to spread gossip. You need to realize that God cannot be fooled. He is watching and listening! Also, remember our text (Ephesians 4:29-32) and particularly verse 29 when considering the four rules discussed. If the answer to any of them is no, keep your mouth closed, and live in peace. (1 Peter 3:10-12; James 1:26) Finally, there are some that use trust as a means to hide their unforgiveness. They may say things like, I forgive them, but I just dont trust them anymore, or I forgive them, but I will never trust them again. I think that we really need to be careful in this area, lest we walk in unforgiveness unaware! I want to share some thoughts that I believe are inspired by the Holy Spirit. Once a person has truly repented of his or her sin or offence, turning wholeheartedly unto God, theres no longer a reason to distrust. However, an apology alone may not necessarily be a sign that one has truly repented. Whenever possible, necessary steps should be taken by the offender to make restitution, e.g., money stolen or property destroyed should be replaced and repaired. This may be necessary for trust to be restored by the party offended. The party offended in such a case has the right to determine what steps are necessary by the offender to earn their trust. Yet, it should be within reason and not something unrealistic or impossible. For example, a husband may have wronged his wife with another woman. After being confronted with his sin, the husband acknowledges his sin and asks for forgiveness. The wife agrees to forgive him, but in order to trust him again, she may require him to be home by a certain hour or call home at certain times whereby she can verify his whereabouts. This is not unreasonable. The offender should be willing to show signs of his repentant heart. True repentance begins with: 1) an acknowledgement of the offense; 2) a heartfelt request for forgiveness; and 3) a quality decision to turn from that sin. You may withhold trust until such steps have been taken, but you cannot have an unwillingness

to trust in spite of steps taken by the offender. Also, you cannot withhold forgiveness until you feel comfortable trusting the individual. It may take some time to be convinced that you can trust the offender or ex-offender, but if youre unwilling to trust no matter what, you will never be able to trust them, and unforgiveness is a present reality! Not trusting is one thing, but not being willing to trust is another thing altogether! Maranatha!