Writing Essays: AP Euro Style

Mr. Cox
Mr. Mancini
AP history courses at West are "writing intensive" so you are the best prepared for
district exams, the College Board Exam, SAT's, PSSA and your future academic careers.
Our goal in this course is simple: to make you, regardless of your current ability, a much
better writer when the course ends in May. Ibis packet contains everything you need to
know about writing essays in AP European History. You should thoroughly familiarize
yourself with its content. In addition, you should individually meet with us on a periodic
basis to discuss how to better improve your writing. The packet includes the following
material:
A) "Preparation for Writing an Essay" schematic
B) Free Response Essays: (5 minutes planning-30 minutes writing)
-Free Response Essay Components and Tips
-Free Response Rubric #
-Free Response Anchors *
C) DBO-Document Based Essay Question: (15 minutes planning-45 minutes
writing)
-DBQ Components and Tips
-DBQ Rubric #
-DBQ Anchors *
# The Free Response and DBQ rubrics used in class are slightly different then what the evaluators will
use when scoring the actual college board exam. The rubrics we utilize have been developed using a
more rigorous standard and will therefore better prepare you as a writer. The "in-class" DBQ rubric
most closely resembles the "College Board" version given the nature of a core-scoring assessment tool.
The "in-class" free response rubric was designed by synthesizing the AP and PSSA rubrics with special
emphasis on the essay's thesis statement and content.
* The anchors included in this packet are published by the College Board. They are student anchors
from previous exams (2002 & 2001). The anchors will include the following; scoring guidelines,
student samples, and evaluator commentary. You will find that our grading standard is slightly higher
then the evaluators on the College Board. As a result we have also posted various "in-class" anchor
papers from former C.B. West students on the bulletin boards in our rooms. We encourage you to look
over both sets of anchor papers so you can get the best sense of what is expected from you in class and
on the AP exam.
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Dir-ections - to help organize a format essay, complete the following flow chart by writing in
each Pox. .
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: Statement of the problem orissue
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........................................................................................................
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: Evidence of the problem! bock<}"'Ound infannation :
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Statement of solution to problem! Thesis

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Body Paragraph 1 /
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I" Argument to supportyotrposition 2nd Argument to support your position
Evidence sUl'lJOMing argument
EvidenCesupporting argument
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Evidence supporting:argument
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Introdudion
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Evidence supporting argument
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COnclusionsummarizes arguments. restates thesis, and leaves reader believing in yotr position 1
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Free Response
. Essays
Free Response Components & Tips
Essay defined:
-concise composition in which the author tries to answer a core question (from Latin exigere
meaning to weigh or balance)
-writer offers an interpretation of facts or events based upon a thesis developed by the writer in
response to the question asked
Essay Structure (components)
Introduction
A. Background, time/place setting, explanation of topic
B. Categories or main ideas in support of thesis
C. Thesis Statement (Think: Topic, Position, Support)
Body (each paragraph)
A. Main idea supportive of thesis
B. Evidence supportive ofthe main idea
C. Good topic/transition opening statements
D. Transitional words or phrases between sentences
Conclusion
A. Restatement ofthesis
B. Summary of major ideas supportive to the thesis
C. Closing sentences explaining significance
Directive Terms: (always know what the question is asking and answer it)
1. Analyze: determine the nature and relationship of the component parts of; explain the importance
of; break down.
2. Assess: judge the value or character of something; appraise; evaluate.
3. Compare: examine for the purpose of noting similarities and differences, focusing more on
similarities.
4. Contrast: compare to show unlikeness or points of difference.
5. Criticize: make judgments as to merits and faults; criticism may approve or disapprove, or both.
6. Define: give the meaning (a word, phrase, concept); determine or fix the boundaries or extent.
7. Describe: give an account; tell about; give a word picture.
8. Discuss or examine: talk over; write about; consider by argument or from various points of view;
debate; present the different sides.
9. Enumerate or list: mention or itemize separately; name one after another.
10. Evaluate: give the good points and the bad; appraise; give an opinion regarding the value of; discuss
the advantages and disadvantages.
11. Explain: make clear or plain; make known in detail; tell the meaning of; make clear the cause or
reason.
12. Illustrate: make clear or intelligible as by examples.
13. Interpret: explain the meaning; make plain; present your thinking about.
14. Justify: show good reasons; present your evidence; offer facts to support your position.
15. Prove: establish the truth of something by giving factual evidence or logical reasons.
16. Relate: show how things are connected with each other or how one causes another.
17. Summarize: state or express in concise form; give the main points briefly.
18. Trace: follow the course
Basic guidelines for essay writing:
1. In your essay you are presenting a position-keep track of it. (i.e. always support your thesis)
2. Define the issues before you write.
3. Answer the whole question, but only the question.
4. Organize your material. (AJways BRAINSTORM then OUTLINE FIRST!!!!! !!)
5. Present an introduction.
6. Use paragraphs properly.
7. Make evidence precise and use it to support your inferences.
8. Do not over-generalize; keep the human dimension in view.
9. Be accurate with references.
10. End your essay with a relevant conclusion.
Relevance is more critical than length, make every word have a purpose. Imagine a painting with
unnecessary lines or a machine with unnecessary parts, why should an essay have unnecessary wording
and content.
AP Free Response Essay Tips (from the College Board)
1. Read the question carefully and analytically.
2. Should be a minimum of3 pages.
3. Write legibly.
4. Marking questions may be helpful:
A. underline operative words: see list
B. Circle time frame specified
5. Only a few specific, focused, relevant examples are better than a laundry list of details.
6. Make sure the thesis is consistent with your conclusion.
7. Use correct terminology and vocabulary.
8. Do not preach or moralize in your essay. This is not an editorial.
9. Refer only to an author if you can adequately state the gist of their position and it fits in to your
overall essay.
10. Underline key names and phrases so they stand out to the reader (grader).
11. Your introductory paragraph is the most important (refer to but do not rewrite the question).
South Carolina's guide to AP History identifies the following as the common essay errors:
1. Misinterpretation ofthe question
2. Lack of internal paragraph organization
3. Lack of clarity ofthesis statement
4. Lack of introduction and conclusion
5. "The chatty tone" or use of personal references
6. Common grammatical errors.
Free Response Scoring Rubric (In-Class)
Topic:
(Rating Scale: 5=SUperiOT 4=pmficient 3=satisfactory 2=limited/basic 1=unsatisfactory)
Introduction/Conclusion 2 3 4 5
-background/setting
-main ideas reflected
-significance
Subtotal (5 possible) (5)
Thesis Statement 2 3 4 5
-clarity, addresses question
-reflects main points-balanced
-well defined/developed
Subtotal (5 possible) (5)
Body (Organization, Style, and Focus) 2 3 4 5
-arrangement of main points
-internal paragraph structure
-transitions
-vocabulary & spelling
Subtotal (5 possible x 2 weight) (10)
Body (Content/ldea Development) 2 3 4 5
-supports main ideas and thesis (relevant)
-adequacy, clarity and accuracy of supporting evidence
-thoroughness of development
Subtotal (5 possible x 6 weight) (30)
Total (50)
Free Response
Anchors
2002 AP EUROPEAN HISTORY FREE-RESPONSE QUESTIONS (Form B)
EUROPEAN HISTORY
SECTION II
PartB
(Suggested planning and writing time-35 minutes)
Percent of Section IT score-27 112
Directions: You are to answer ONE question from the three questions below. Make your selection carefully, choosing
the question that you are best prepared to answer thoroughly in the time permitted. You should spend 5 minutes
organizing or outlining your answer. In writing your essay, use specific examples to support your answer. Write your
answer to the question on the lined pages of the Section II free-response booklet. Be certain to number your answer as
the question is numbered below.
2. ;'
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3.==
PartC
(Suggested planning and writing time-35 minutes)
Percent of Section II score-27112
Directions: You are to answer ONE question from the three questions below. Make your selection carefully, choosing
the question that you are rest prepared to answer thoroughly in the time permitted. You should spend 5 minutes
organizing or outlining your answer. In writing your essay, use specific examples to support your answer. Write your
answer to the question on the lined pages of the Section II free-response booklet. Be certain to number your answer as
the question is numbere-d helow.
2 ft'
Describe and analyze the differences in the ways in which artists and writers portrayed
the individual during the Italian Renaissance and the Romantic era of the late
eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries.
END OF EXAMINATION
Copyright 2002 by College Entrance Examination Board. All rights reserved.
Advanced Placement Program and AP are registered trademarks of the College Entrance Examination Board.
Ap EUROPEAN HISTORY
2002 SCORING GUIDELINES (Form B)
Question 5
9-8-7-6 Stronger Essays
These essays will demonstrate the following qualities with varying degrees of effectiveness:
Has a clear, well-developed thesis
Is well-organized
Addresses the terms of the question
Supports the thesis with specific evidence
May contain minor errors; even a "9" need not be flawless
Indicators
] . Thesis addresses terms of the question, portrayal of individual in both Renaissance and
Romantic era.
2. Coverage may be uneven, with greater emphasis likely placed on Renaissance
3. Uses specific supporting evidence
5-4 Mixed Essays
These scores should be assigned judiciously. Essays will demonstrate the following qualities with varying
degrees of effectiveness:
Contains a thesis, perhaps superficial or simplistic
Uneven response to the question's terms.
May contain errors, factual or interpretive
Indicators
1. Discusses the portrayal of the individual, but may be focused solely on one era (generally
Renaissance)
2. Addresses comparison/contrast but does so implicitly or without significant specificity.
3. Provides evidence that is more general in nature (has few specific examples).
3-2-1-0 Weaker Essays
Essays in this category will demonstrate the following qualities in varying degrees. Essays scored 0 or 1 may
attempt to address the question but fail to do so.
Thesis is confused, absent, or merely restates the question.
Misconstrues the question or omits major tasks.
May contain major errors.
Indicators
1. Discusses only Renaissance or Romantic era with no focus on the portrayal of the individual.
2. Contains minimal relevant supporting evidence.
3. Contains major errors, either factual or interpretive.
Copyright 2002 by College Entrance Examination Board. All rights reserved.
Advanced Placement Program and AP are registered trademarks of the College Entrance Examination Board.
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Copyright to 2002 by College Entrance Examinatio Board. AI1rights reserved.
Available at apcentral.collegeboard.com,
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on this page as it is designated in the examination.
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on this page as it is designated in the examination.
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Copyright iO2002 by College Entrance Examinalion Board. All rights reserved.
Available at apcentr.ll.collegeboard.com.
- -
Ap EUROPEAN HISTORY
2002 SCORING COMMENTARY (Form B)
Question 4
.. - .
. ---. ---
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Question 5
Sample DD - Score 9
Very good, well-developed thesis. Student clearly answers the question posed. Demonstrates understanding of
Renaissance and Romantic perceptions of the individual. Coverage is balanced. Good supporting evidence.
Sample AA - Score 6
Despite a weak introduction, thesis and development are good. Strong historical evidence to support depiction of
individual in each era. Unbalanced due to absence ofRomantic artists.
Question 6
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Copyright 2002 by College Entrance Examination Board. All rights reserved.
Advanced Placement Program and AP are registered trademarks of the College Entrance Examination Board.
DB
Document
Based
uestion
Document-Based Essay Question Components
Description (provided by College Board)
The primary purpose of the document-based essay question is NOT to test students' prior
knowledge of subject matter but rather to evaluate their ability to formulate and support an answer from
documentary evidence. It is assumed students have taken the course and understand the broader
historical context. Documents are chosen on the basis of both the information they convey about the
topic and the perspective that they offer on other documents used in the exercise. Thus the fullest
understanding of any particular document emerges only when the document is viewed within the wider
context of the entire series. Designed to test skills analogous to those of the historian at work on source
materials, the document-based exercise differs from the task of actual historians mainly in the time
available for analysis and the prearranged sequence of the documents, which helps illuminate the
specifics of the question. There is no single "correct" answer; instead, various approaches and responses
are possible, depending on the students' ability to understand the documents and ultimately to judge
their significance.
In writing the essay, candidates might find it useful to consider the following points. The
document-based question is an exercise in both analysis and synthesis. It requires that students first read
and analyze the documents individually and then plan and construct an appropriate response to the essay
question based upon their interpretation of the documentary evidence as a whole. What is desired is a
unified essay which integrates analysis of documents with treatment ofthe topic.
Specific mention of individual documents should always occur within the framework of the
overall topic, serving to substantiate and illustrate points made in the essay. It is not necessary that
every document be cited in the essay. The way in which students approach the topic provides a good
indication of their understanding of the question and their ability to weigh the evidence. In no case
should documents simply be cited and explained in a "laundry list" fashion; reference to the
documentary material must always be closely tied to the essay topic. Evidence from the documents
should be utilized both to construct and to illustrate responses.
One way to approach the documents is to read all of them in order of presentation, returning tot
he more important for further study. There are no irrelevant or deliberately misleading documents.
Some documents are more central to an understanding of the topic than others, but every one is related
to the question and can be used by students in the preparation of their essays. Even a superior essay
does not have to make implicit or explicit use of all the documents, because different combinations of
documents may be used to support various lines of reasoning.
Critical judgment is essential to a good document-based essay. Awareness of the documents'
sources and their authors' points of view requires students to demonstrate the skills of critical reading
and inference. Students should pay attention to both internal evidence (the content and tone of each
document in relation to the others) and external evidence (identifications of authors, the documents'
purpose or intended audience, and the date when each document was written). Thus a student reading
critically may group or juxtapose documents in a variety ofways (for instance, according their ideas or
points of view); suggest reasons for similarities or differences in perspective among the documents; and
identify possible bias or inconsistencies within the documents.
The most common errors in student responses to document-based questions include: simply
paraphrasing or summarizing the documents, failing to integrate the documents with the essay, failing to
answer the question that is being asked, failing to analyze the documents or determine their significance,
and failing to demonstrate that independent thought has gone into the essay. Students may refer to
historical facts and developments not mentioned in the documents as long as these references are
accurate and relevant. As a result, the AP European History Development Committee strongly urges
teachers to ensure that students know how to do what is asked of them. For example, students should be
instructed to read carefully the directions and the questions, to evaluate sources and authors' points of
view, and to exercise critical judgment.
DBQ Tips
Make sure you know what the question is asking.
Pay attention to point ofview of the author of each document.
Take into account social disposition of author
Look for tone (sarcasm, etc.)
Look carefully at date
Look for change over time in the documents.
Documents aren't always factual information but express an opinion or perception
Don't take liberties with the documents
Cite the documents that you use either with author or number
Do not just use documents in chronological order in your essay (too easy)
Use at least half plus one of the documents, more if possible
Thesis shouldn't be a simple restatement of the question
Do not ramble
Rule ofthumb-"3"-three problems, three solutions, three arguments
Answer the question
There is not one right answer
Use a grid or chart to organize your information
Be sure your conclusion goes beyond a mere summary to a statement of importance
Point of View
-Why is POV important?
The crucial skill teachers and readers are looking for in a student's
approach to documents is the awareness that documents are not statements
of facts, but descriptions, intcrprctations,or opinions of events and developments
made by particular people at particular places and times, and often for specific
reasons. Too often, students write essays in which they take the documents at
face value. Instead, students should be applying critical thinking skills to documents,
evaluating whether they are likely to be accurate and complete, and in what ways
the author ofthe document may be revealing bias.
-College Board
How can students demonstrate awareness of POV?
-examples are from the 2000 "rituals/festivals" DBQ
1. Attribution: minimal approach to POV, citing authors of documents by name or position,
should be consistent (i.e. most or all attributed), shows that you understand the document has a
particular expression rather then a statement of fact.
-examples
John Taylor, an English writer, said....
A Dominican monk in Florence described ...
2. Authorial point of view: shows that you are aware that gender, occupation, class, religion,
etc. may have influenced the particular view.
-example:
Baltasar Rusow, as a Lutheran pastor, was naturally upset by the celebration
of a Saint's Day since Lutherans don't venerate saints.
POV continued.....
3. Reliability and accuracy of sources: critically examine source for its accuracy (i.e. would
the author be in a position to provide an accurate statement, etc.) can also evaluate type of source
for its reliability.
-examples:
R. Lassels's report ofthe Carnival celebrations in Italy is probably accurate
because as an outside observer, he is more objective.
R. Lassels's report ofthe Carnival celebrations in Italy is probably inaccurate
because as an observer, he wold not fully understand local customs.
4. Tone or intent of the author: looking at the particular text of the document for such
elements as satire, irony to identify the author's intent.
-example:
Brueghel painted The Battle between Carnival and Lent to warn the people
that their love of celebrating was overwhelming their religious observance of
Lent.
5. Grouping of documents by author: shows that the group by nature will express similar
views.
-exarnple:
-government officials, clergy, writers
--- ----
DBQ Rubric (in-class}
Topic:
Basic Core
Points
1. Acceptable Thesis 1
2. Uses a majority of
the documents (total= varies)
1
3. Supports thesis with
appropriate evidence from
documents.
1
4. Understands basic
several
meaning of documents cited
in essay (may misinterpret one
document).
1
5. Analyzes bias or point of
view in at least two/three
documents.
1
6. Analyzes documents by 1
grouping them in one (or two/three)
ways.
Subtotal
Comments:
Expanded Core
Points
Expands beyond basic core puints.
Must earn 6 before earning in core 0-4
area. Following criteria used for
earning additional points:
- Has a clear, analytical, and
comprehensive thesis.
- uses documents persuasively
as evidence.
- shows careful & insightful analysis.
-analyzes bias/point of view in
documents.
-uses relevant outside info.
-uses all or almost all documents
Subtotal
Total Score 110
--------'
DB
Anchors
2001 APEUROPEAN HISTORY FREE-RESPONSE QUESTIONS
EUROPEAN HISTORY
SECTION II
Part A
(Suggested writing time-45 minutes)
Percent of Section II score-45
Directions: The following question is based on the accompanying Documents 1-11. (Some of the documents have
been edited for the purpose of this exercise.) Write your answer on the lined pages of the Section II free-response
booklet.
This question is designed to test your ability to work with and understand historical documents. Write an essay that:
Has a relevant thesis and supports that thesis with evidence from the documents.
Uses a majority of the documents.
Analyzes the documents by grouping them in as many appropriate ways as possible. Does not simply
summarize the documents individually.
Takes into account both the sources of the documents and the authors' points of view.
You may refer to relevant historical information not mentioned in the d
Analyze the ways in which various people viewed the character and condition of
Greeks in the Ottoman Empire during the Greek movement for independence in the
eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries.
1S onca ac ground: During the eig teenth century, Greeks living in exile began to
appeal to their fellow Greeks to free themselves from Ottoman rule. Greek nationalists
urged Greeks living throughout the Balkans and Asia Minor to revolt against their
Turkish Muslim rulers. An uprising in March 1821 began a nine-year war for indepen
dence. Several thousand European volunteers fought on the Greek side, while many
more (known collectively as Philhellenes-"lovers of Greece") raised money and
spread pro-Greek views in Europe. Intervention by Russian, French and English forces
in 1827 and 1828 ultimately forced the Turks to grant Greek independence, which was
formally established by a multipower treaty in 1830.
GREECE AND THE OITOMAN EMPIRE IN 1821
OITOMAN EMPIRE
(Balkans)
o
Black Sea
OTTOMAN EMPIRE
(Asia Minor)
o
..0 .
Border of Independent Greece, 1830
. )
Ap EUROPEAN HISTORY
2001 SCORING GUIDELINES
Question 1 (DBQ)
BASIC CORE (1 point each to a total of 6 points) Points
1. Has an acceptable thesis 1
Thesis must be explicit, based on one or more documents. It may not be a simple
rewording of the question or of the historical background. Students may conflate the two
terms used in the question, character and condition, or use them implicitly. Thesis may
appear at the end.
2. Uses a majority of documents
Uses at least six documents by reference to anything in the box, even if used incorrectly.
(The map is not a document.) They need not be cited by number or name.
3. Supports thesis or answers question with appropriate evidence from the documents 1
NOTE: Even when there is no thesis, the essay can still offer evidencefrom the
documents relating to issues ofGreek conditions and character, earning a point.
Only one document need be used to discuss a view.
Must discuss three views of character and condition of the Greeks. May discuss character
and condition implicitly or explicitly, separately or together. Discussions of views of
Turks are relevant only if they reveal views about Greeks.
Some general categories of views: Documents
Greeks are decayed, in ruins, weak 1, 4, 5
Greeks are brigands, drunkards, hooligans, devious 2, 5, 9
Greeks are heroes or potentially heroic 7,8, 10, 11
Greeks' main problem is the Turks 1,3,5,6, 7, 8, 10, II
Greeks are defenders of Christianity 8,10, II
Pro-Greek 1,3,6,7,8,10, 11
Critical of Greeks 4, 5, 9
Ambivalent or neutral 2, 8
4. Understands the basic meaning of the documents cited in the essay 1
Must use at least four documents correctly. May misinterpret the content of no more than
one document; a major misinterpretation is one that leads to an inaccurate grouping or a
false conclusion.
5. Analyzes bias or point of view in at least three documents (or POY/ bias in one 1
document with consistent attribution)
Relates authorial point ofview to author's place politically and/or by nationalityOR
Evaluates the reliability of the source OR
Recognizes that different kinds of documents serve different purposes OR
Analyzes tone or intent of documents
OR analyzes POV or bias in one document and gives consistent attribution
Copyright 2001 by College Entrance Examination Board. All rights reserved.
Advanced Placement Program and AP are registered trademarks of the College Entrance Examination Board.

1
Ap EUROPEAN HISTORY
2001 SCORING GUIDELINES
Question 1 Icont'd.)
6. Analyzes documents by grouping them in at least three groups. A group must have
two documents. A fallacious grouping [e.g., by gender or class) receives no credit.
Examples of possible groups
Nationality

Religion

Chronology

Pro/anti Greek

Role of antiquity

Connections to Western Europe

Violence and armed revolt

Occupation of author

Views on independence

Character/condition
Documents
Greek (4,6, 10); English (1, 5, 7, 8); French
(3, 11), Turkish (2, 9)
4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11
before revolution (1-617); after revolution
(617,11)
Pro-Greek (1,3,6, 7,10, and 11); critical of
Greeks (4, 5, 9); ambivalent (2, 8)
1, 3, 6, 7, 11
1,3,4,5,6,7,8,10,11
2, 3, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11
artists/poets (1, 4, 7, 11); government
officials ( 2, 9, 10)
Pro (3, 6, 7,10, 11); Con (2, 5, 9); doesn't
mention it/ambivalent (1,4,5,8)
Character (1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10,11);
Condition (1, 2, 3,4,5,6, 7,8,9, 10, 11)
EXPANDED CORE (1 - 3 points to a total of 9 points)
Must earn 6 points in the basic core before earning points in the expanded core. Additional points are
earned for excellencein ONE, SOME, or ALL of the following:
a clear, analytical and comprehensive thesis
persuasive use of documents as evidence
additional groupings or others forms of analysis
analysis ofbias or point of view in at least four documents cited in the essay
relevant outside historical content woven into the analysis ofdocuments
use of all or almost all ofthe documents
careful and insightful analysis ofthe documents
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AP'" European History
2001 SCORING COMMENTARY
Part A: Document-Based Essay
Question 1
Score Commentary
8 Thesis based on documents and question, but rather rudimentary. Good
discussion of POV on several documents but often misses the opportunity for
others (e.g., Doc. 4). Analysis of documents is often simplistic; some
documents are discussed in a generalized way rather than analyzed
specifically. Some awareness of change over time.
6 Workmanlike thesis statement. Focuses essay on question of independence
and classifies Davis as pro-independence which is not in the document but can
be extrapolated. Grouping of documents is somewhat awkward. Misreading of
Doc. 4. Uncritical acceptance ofpro-Greek viewpoint. Consistent attribution
and some POV in evaluation of bias of Doc. 3.
. Pm( Ii .IiCliiUlJC ZggU9t
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Copyright 2001 by College Entrance Examination Board. All rights reserved.
Advanced Placement Program and AP are registered trademarks ofthe College Entrance Examination Board.