Fun: English is Hilarious / Brilliant

English-absolutely hilarious/brilliant!
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and there would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, And the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, What do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship... We have noses that run and feet that smell. We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway. And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language In which your house can burn up as it burns down, In which you fill in a form by filling it out, And in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing.......... If Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop.???

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Download PMR ENGLISH PAPER 2SECTION A : GUIDED WRITING(30 Marks)To fulfill the task teachers used to tell the students to; Read the question carefully Study the visual aids and notes given Write a brief outline i.e. mind map Have at least 3 paragraphs i.e. introduction, body, conclusion Arrange the points according to importance or sequence Elaborate on the points given Use a variety of sentence structures and use familiar words Use interesting expressions , idioms or proverbs Types of Composition:1) Speeches / Talks I n t r o d u c t i o n : G r e e t i n g t h e a u d i e n c e State the topic of your speech/talk B o d y : P a r a g r a p h 1 Start with the interesting details.Make use of WH-question. Give examples or explanation to support your point.: Paragraph 2 and 3Give other details. Use sentence connectors, correct punctuation and support with moreexamples.Conclusion : State your topic again.Thank the audience.

2) Report

Headlines / TitleP a r a g r a p h 1 : W r i t e i m p o r t a n t a n d relevant information. Summary of important d e t a i l s . Paragraph 2, 3 and 4 : Details of incident in order o f i m p o r t a n c e , l o g i c a l s e q u e n c e . Remember to include details/ examples to support your pointsIt should be straight forward, formal and brief 3) Informal Letters IntroductionExamples : How are you? Thank you for your letter.Body Arrange contents in paragraphs in the right order. Express yourself clearly, simply and directly. Write what you think the reader is keen to know and will interest the reader.ConclusionConsists of special wishes or words of farewell.Example : Goodbye for now. Best wishes to you. 4) Formal Letters It should be short and concise. Be brief and polite. Use formal but simple English Present information correctly Use

Processes and procedures Introduction:Name the process or procedures you are going to d e s c r i b e BodyParagraph 1: Start with the first step. Use First/Firstly. Paragraph 2: Continue to describe the following steps. Use sequence connectors to link one step toanother.P a r a g r a p h 3 : P r o c e e d u n t i l t h e l a s t s t e p . Conclusion :Add some comments about the process. E.g. simple/difficult process, what it is used for, etc.. 6) Descriptive / Narrative You may be asked to describe a place or scene Make use of WH-Question (What, Who, Where, When, Why and How)

 Use adjectives Put yourself in the place of the person in the story. Include other people as well as their activities. You may also want to write about how you feel about the place/ scene. Use words that appeal tothe five senses sight, sound, smell, taste and feelings Use the correct tense. Usually the past tense is used. 7) Argumentative Read the question carefully and state your viewpoint. Your opinion must be very clear in the introduction. Support your opinion by giving reasons and examples. Draft as many points as you can. Then number them to importance. Write out your strongest argument first and your weakest argument last. Present your argument clearly and logically. Use logical connectors such as therefore, besides, moreover, etc to help you link your points

End your essay by restating your stand on the argument 8) Charts and Graphs. Read the question and study the chart or graph carefully. Make observations and draw correct conclusions based on the chart/graph. Decide on your tense. Link each sentence and paragraph carefully for a smooth flow of ideas. Make use of adverbs and adjective Low Proficiency Students Encourage them to write simple sentence and expand the notes given.

 Use the WH-Question to give details.What? Who? Where? When? Why? and How? Make use of logical connectors. (Therefore, besides etc.) Use correct format of writing. Give the students sample of correct answer for each type of composition.Sample of AnswersPMR 2005 : This section required students to write a report on a National Day celebration inschool. Students were provided with a set of related pictures and short. A) IntroductionSample 1:

5.1.2 Different Forms of Past Tense Verbs Purpose: To use different past tense verbs accurately and promote better language accuracy in narrative essays. Instructions: Practice 1 Practice 2 Practice 3 1. was taken 1. changed 1. were calling 2. had taken 2. was changing 2. was called 3. took 3. were changed 3. had called 4. were taking 4. had changed 4. called Practice 4 1. wrote 2. were writing 3. was written 4. had written Practice 7 1. were planning 2. had planned 3. was planned 4. planned Practice 10 1. sang 2. were singing 3. was sung 4. had sung Practice 13 1. cooked 2. had cooked 3. was cooked 4. were cooking Practice 16 1. read 2. had read 3. were reading 4. was read Practice 19 1. announced 2. had announced 3. were announced 4. was announcing Practice 5 1. was bought 2. had bought 3. bought 4. were buying Practice 8 1. sent 2. were sending 3. had sent 4. were sent Practice 11 1. had helped 2. was helped 3. were helping 4. helped Practice 14 1. punished 2. were punished 3. had punished 4. was punishing Practice 17 1. prepared 2. were prepared 3. was preparing 4. had prepared Practice 20 1. were giving 2. was given 3. had given 4. gave Practice 6 1. ate 2. was eaten 3. were eating 4. had eaten Practice 9 1. was visiting 2. visited 3. were visited 4. had visited Practice 12 1. was showing 2. were shown 3. had shown 4. showed Practice 15 1. was driven 2. was driving 3. drove 4. had driven Practice 18 1. donated 2. was donated 3. were donating 4. had donated Practice 21 1. were cut 2. had cut 3. cut 4. was cutting

5.4.2 Developing Ideas Sample paragraph: My birthday party was very great. [How many attended?] It was attended by more than 200 people. [Who were they?] All my classmates, teachers and relatives came. [Where was it held?] My parents organised the party at a five-star hotel. In fact, the party was beside a huge swimming pool. [What was special?] My classmates conducted a few fun and interesting games. There was also a karaoke singing session. My father sang his favourite evergreen song to all the guests. [How many presents?] Before the party ended, I thanked all my guests for their presence and kindness. I received 88 wonderful gifts. [When did it end?] By 6.50 p.m., the party came to an end. [How was my feeling?] Though I felt a bit tired, I was extremely happy

Practice 1: Develop the main idea given by answering the following wh-questions. Main idea: Jays first day in his new school was not bad at all. When did he arrive in school? Where was his class? How many students were there in his class? Who was his first friend? Who were his other new friends? What did Jay feel? What was the first lesson?

1. To train students to develop ideas fluently so that writing a 350-word essay is a manageable task for them. 2. To use wh-questions effectively in generating details.

3. To encourage students to develop each idea well and systematically.