Enneagram: TWO

I) In General If you are TWO, you are gifted in many ways. In particular, you are:

Caring Sympathetic Helpful

Considerate Supportive Adaptable

Generous Self-Sacrificing Loving

However, like everyone else, you have your flaws. For example, you can be: Dependent Flattering Hysterical Needy Interfering Seductive Possessive Manipulative Self-Important

As a Helper you strive so hard to attend to other people's needs that you neglect your own and even pride yourself in having none. But you are so oblivious to your pride that you deny how controlling and destructive it is. II) SUBTYPES A. SELF-PRESERVATION: Focus on Privilege You take pride in helping people and think of yourself as independent. You are frequently ashamed to ask for help. Your pride prevents you from doing so, unless it is a life-or-death issue. You feel insecure when left out. Selfless feelings cover up or suppress your own need for approval and protection. Your desire for privilege is unmasked when others don't respond in kind. You indirectly work for yourself through working for others. This minimizes the pressures of personal competition and avoids possible failure or humiliation in public. When you help others succeed, you succeed and expect at least some preferential treatment (e.g. recognition for services rendered, introductions to dignitaries, or the best seats at the theatre). Effectively you are saying, "You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours." B. SEXUAL: Focus tin Seduction You tend to seduce others by supporting and adopting their interests, tastes, and concerns. This makes you very attractive as a partner. You take pride in making others feel they are friends or lovers. This you do by turning on the charm, hanging on people's every word, and dressing the part. You are a pleaser, confidant, trusted companion, and "best friend" who makes others feel good and special. You are not afraid to pursue loved ones or business associates, and readily deal with hitches and problems in relationships. You choose who to go after, and keep going until you have snared him or her. This seduction and pursuit applies equally whether you are a man or a woman. Interestingly, you frequently choose those who are unavailable so as not to have to face your own hidden fear of intimacy. It's all in the chase!

(Tony Thampi K., c.s.c.)

(Enneagram TWO: wings & arrows) C. SOCIAL: Focus on Ambition Because you are socially ambitious, what counts is who you know and where you're seen. You take pride in your accomplishments, reputation, professional qualifications, public image, and social standing. You like to back winners and are attracted to high achievers. Wanting to be part of the inner circle, you attach yourself to prominent figures (e.g. a financial guru, business leader, or local dignitary), and achieve your ambitions on their coattails by being the indispensable power behind the throne. You quickly learn to play the system and cut your cloth to the prevailing wind. You are sensitive to the slightest changes in mood and adapt accordingly to keep your rightful place. You lap up compliments, especially when these involve your indispensability. But you resent it when you are taken for granted. III) WINGS 1 & 3 As you grew up you began to realize that your general unwillingness to receive, as well as your ability to make others feel guilty, and your martyr complex were a turnoff. After all, most people prefer to give and take, and to be permitted to help occasionally instead of having to receive all the time. So you began to rely on the personality style nearest to you to give your own style some balance. You may, for example, have spotted that flatters/ is among the list of your characteristic flaws. But honesty is one of the strengths of your One Wing. When you learn to incorporate your wing-strength into your own personality style, you begin to soar. One Wing: When you access the strengths of your One Wing you have a heart/gut combination. The One influence allows you to give compliments honestly and not to be afraid to voice your reservations. It also ensures that you will stand up for your own rights more. Additionally, you will be more inclined to say and do things because they are right, rather than because they are helpful or the kind thing to do. There is a danger, though, that you will become overly critical of yourself and others, and over-responsible to the point of breakdown. Three Wing: When you access the strengths of your Three Wing you have a heart combination. This will help you in a different way. With it you become more self-assured and independent. This means you will be more successful in handling intimate personal relationships and better able to facilitate groups. A whole social dimension is added to your normal perspective. You will, however, need to be careful of becoming more task-oriented and image conscious, especially to please a boss or significant other. Proper balance is achieved by accessing the strengths of both your wings and taking care to avoid their characteristic weaknesses. When you do so, you learn to let go of your obsessive Helper viewpoint and begin to experience the advantages of other points of view. IV) ARROWS 8 & 4 The Arrow Theory of the Enneagram can be very helpful when you are feeling either stressed or secure. As a Helper you are motivated by your need to be needed and loved. You become stressed by your difficulty in saying "no," and by having to reveal your own needs and let others take care of you. Almost as soon as the pressure begins to build up, you gradually tend to slide to the lower end of your own personality style. When this happens your natural tendency is to invest even more heavily in helping others to the point where you become a martyr to their cause. This 2 (Tony Thampi K., c.s.c.)

(Enneagram TWO: wings & arrows) can make you feel that others don't appreciate what you are doing for them and that they are victimizing you in some way. You can then become resentful, aggrieved, reproachful, and empty. If this continues you will eventually become depressed and even reach breakdown. As your stress increases you find yourself all too easily adopting the negative characteristics of your Eight-stress point. However, this need not be an inevitable progression. You can, instead, get in touch with the positive side. Eight: (Stress Point) -You attempt to bully and control people. -You become irascible, impatient, and demanding. -You target others for blame or criticism. -You mistrust people's motives and become callous. + You are more assertive in getting personal needs met. + You are more confident, minimizing the need for approval.

When you are secure you are generally more in touch with the higher side of your personality style. As a Two this allows you to get in touch with your own needs and to take care of yourself. If this involves saying "no" to the requests or demands of others, you can do so without disguise. If it means letting others take care of your needs, you welcome it. The result is that, when you give, there will be no strings attached, because you are free of the compulsion to justify your worth by being the continual helper. All of this feeds into the positive strengths of your Four security point. But, here too there can be some negatives. Dealing with the pluses and minuses helps us grow. Four: (Security Point) + You are willing to explore your inner emotional world. + You accept loneliness, hurt, and other painful feelings. + Your creative side reveals another source of self-worth. + Yon begin to say "no" and search for personal space. -You overplay the "martyr" to the point of depression. -You envy others and become self-absorbed. V) HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) I am loved for myself, not for my service. I have a right to say "No." I need to take care of myself first. I don't have to justify my feelings. Love lets go; possessiveness clings on. Love your neighbor as yourself. (Mark 12:31) VI) THE TWO PORTRAIT OF JESUS: AFFECTION This second portrait of Jesus is characterised by the love of affection. His affection is non-possessive in that he leaves us free to receive it or not, to respond to it or not. It is a humble affection in that he is willing to perform the humblest of tasks to meet our needs. Jesus' affection is sensitive to our gifts, our needs and our aspirations. The affection of Jesus has a female and a male form of expression. Its female expression is seen in the compassion and generosity of Jesus. Its male expression is seen in the way Jesus challenges us to accept the full extent and 3 (Tony Thampi K., c.s.c.)

(Enneagram TWO: wings & arrows) depth of his affection and to get our 'whole heart and soul and mind and strength' involved in receiving and returning it. In our lives we have a lot of experience of the love of affection which is a love shown primarily within a family and especially between parents and their children. Affection as the appreciation and concern we receive within a family is the most basic love. The three qualities of affection are: (a) one of the finest qualities of affection is that it leaves us free to be ourselves. There are no strings attached to its giving. Genuine affection has not got to be earned but is there for us whether we respond to it or not. (b) Affection is the humblest of loves. We see this in the way that parents provide the most menial services for their new-born child. (c) Parents and especially mothers are sensitive to the needs, feelings and aspirations of their children. Affection has the capacity to merge or identify with the object of its affection, with his or her joys and sorrows. There are female and male characteristics of affection. Among the female ones are compassion and a self-sacrificing generosity. The compassionate aspect of affection is seen especially in the deep concern that inclines mothers to meet the needs and share the pain of their children. There is also a self-sacrificing generosity which we associate with the affection of mothers and this goes to endless rounds to cater for their children's needs and to realise their dreams. There are also qualities associated with male affection. The first of these challenges us to extend the boundaries of our affection by constantly broadening the circle of those we receive it from and share it with. We are challenged to let go of the comfortable confines to which we tend to limit our affection. This male quality of affection also challenges its to get our whole person involved in receiving and returning affection, our whole heart and soul, mind and strength.

How The Features Of This Portrait Are Related In Enneagram Terms

A) Holy Freedom leaves us free to be ourselves, to follow our dream, to attend to our own gifts, needs and feelings as well as to those of others. B) This freedom leaves our humility and sensitivity room to grow Humility is the virtue through which we live with the truth that we have great potential and strengths as well as being immersed in poverty and weaknesses. Love, which gives us our worth apart from what we do, is not earned. Sensitivity means that we are tuned in to the gifts of others and can identify with them in their needs and feelings. C) Two female features of affection are: Compassion which is a concern that tunes in to and seeks to help, in a warmhearted way, those in need or who face difficulty. Generosity responds to the needs of others in an altruistic way even when this demands self-sacrifice. It gives the right amount of help with no strings attached. D) TWO male features of affection are: ... challenge us to broaden our horizons, to live in the wider world of affection, to develop wings as well as roots and to stand back and be objective . ... challenge us to get our whole person involved in receiving and giving affection.

(Tony Thampi K., c.s.c.)