WJEC GCSE English – Writing to Describe

Every year, the descriptive writing task in Section B of Paper 1 is where

students lose the most marks in their English exam. It is therefore a good
idea to practice descriptive writing so that this does not happen to you.
Furthermore, quality descriptive writing can be used as coursework. You are
therefore improving your coursework folder at the same time as you are
learning how to impress the examiner.

Below is a selection of descriptive writing tasks from past papers. They all
begin with the guidance in the box:

You should write about a page in your answer book.

Remember this is a test of your ability to write descriptively.

1. Describe the scene on a beach or in a park on a summer’s day. (2001)

2. Describe the scene in a large department store or shop on the first day of
the January sales. (2002)

3. Describe the scene in the waiting room in a doctor’s or dentist’s surgery.

(2004)

When you have developed the necessary skills over the next few lessons,
you will be required to attempt either question 1 or 3. Included in this
booklet are some responses to the second question.

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How much do you already know about how to describe
a scene?

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Writing to describe – Checklist of Features

AO3i Form, tone, content appropriate for audience

 the tone is usually formal

 adjectives and adverbs add precision to the picture
 nouns are precise
 verbs are powerful
 details are multi-sensory
 figurative language builds atmosphere
 the third person is usually used but first can be appropriate, for
example to add reflection or when writing autobiography

AO3ii Paragraphs and connectives

 an establishing paragraph sets the scene

 topic sentences establish the focus of each paragraph
 each paragraph develops a different snapshot view, eg of a particular
group of people or an incident
 connectives guide the reader through the scene
 short paragraphs may emphasise key details

AO3iii Sentences and punctuation

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  a range of sentences are used for effect
 short sentences create impact, long sentences provide pace
 subordinate clauses add descriptive detail
 the present tense is used to create immediacy

2. Describe the scene in a large department store or shop on the first day
of the January sales. (2002)

Script One (Exam conditions response)

It was eight o’clock on a Saturday morning, the day that the January sales
began. It was a mad rush to get ready as my sister’s prepared ‘to shop til
they dropped’. They came running into the bedroom and said it was time to
go. But I replied the shops didn’t open until nine o’clock. They wanted to go
early so they could wait in the queue.

We left the house at 8.30, we arrived in town there was three car park’s full
already, we only just found a place to park. My sisters were out of the car
before I finished parking. They ran from the car park to the shops. They
were like children in a playground!

I eventually caught up with them, we turned the corner to go to Next. The

queues were massive. It was like a Saturday at a football match but all
women of course. We stood in the line. The shop doors opened. It was like
an earthquake the ground moved as all of the people ran in, to find the
cheaper clothing. Everyone was screaming even my sisters were shocked at
the prices. We never seen clothes so cheap in Next before.

We got out of the shop it was like a breath of fresh air. We had 2 bags each
filled with clothes.

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We went to different shops all of them the same. Rushing with people. It
was like a circus, women fighting over a skirt. Even men arguing over
aftershave.

We eventually got out of town we will never forget this day, women and
men arguing over sales.

Script Two (Exam conditions response)

I push through the crowds of young people hovering outside the automatic
doors of Burger King, kicking the empty paper cups and bags out of my
way. Stepping inside, the first thing that hits me is the sound. It crashes over
me, engulfing me, drawing me in. I step closer, into the midst of it. To my
left sit a young couple, anxiously feeding their toddler chicken nuggets
dipped in tomato sauce. The two year old cries and whines, putting his hand
up to his mouth as if to say ‘no, no more.’ The group of young people to my
right are laughing, shouting and flirting. One of the boys has stolen a girl’s
milkshake and she leans across her friends, giggling happily, to try and
snatch it back. I can hear the radio playing faintly. The newest, noisiest
dance track struggles to be heard in the room full of people, resembling a
school canteen.

As I make my way upstairs I pass a smartly dressed businessman, holding a

brown bag containing a burger, and his other hand to hold his drink. He has
his mobile phone trapped between his ear and his shoulder and he jabbers
away to his colleague about ‘redundancies’. An elderly woman,
accompanied by two young, brightly dressed grandchildren, frowns at the
man as she makes her way past, children in tow.

The smell of the greasy, fatty burgers is overpowering now, and I can hardly
breathe for the stench if freshly cooked French fries. They coat the floor, like
a three-inch carpet, soft underfoot. I wonder why these restaurants even
bother installing bins – nobody seems inclined to use them. Spotting no
empty tables, I make my way back downstairs to order my food. I overtake
the queue if people waiting for ‘veggie-burgers’ and order large fries and a

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chocolate milkshake. The young girl who serves me can’t be much older
than myself, yet she looks older, more tired, world-weary. Her shoulder
length hair hangs limp and greasy under her baseball cap, and her red t-shirt
is stained with fat and fizzy drinks.

The woman next to me has dropped her tray, and someone with a mop
rushes to clean up the split cola, before anyone has a chance to fall in it. I
smell the air, take a French fry out of the packet, pop it in my mouth and
sigh. It tastes like grease, unhealthy and fattening. Looking around me, I
decide to find a bench outside and, licking my lips in anticipation of my
milkshake, I go in search of one.

Script Three (Coursework/exam prep response)

Red nosed and rosy cheeked, the crowd waits, watching. The manager can be seen
through the shiny glass doors, slowly making his way towards the swarm of impatient
men, women and children. Taking a deep breath, he places the silver key in the metal
lock. Silence. Then the sound of the key turning in the lock. Filled with excitement,
customers stand on their tiptoes, waiting for the final click. The doors burst open,
allowing the eager customers to pass into their new found heaven.

As the people slowly disperse into different departments, a huge party of women make
their way to the perfume department. They find shelves upon shelves of perfume. The
brightly coloured containers stand out against the plain white walls. Irritated, the
customers try to brush off the shop assistants who are trying to sell the new Ralph Lauren
scent. All that can be smelt is the mix of perfumes – Angel against Paris – Anna Sui
against Givenchy. Two women stand at the glass counter, one tall and blonde, the other
short and ginger, both dressed in salmon pink colour. They ask the tall, slim and perfectly
groomed assistant which perfume she would recommend. Picking up the bright blue
bottle, the blonde haired woman presses down on the perfume top, releasing an
overpowering scent.

Whilst women pile into the perfume department, men make their way to the men’s
department. Blazing red signs cover every wall, advertising 20% off last season’s
clothing. A mingle of aftershave creates a very sickly scent. Men, old and young, browse
through the shelves, looking to grasp their bargain. A low murmur fills the room. A
gigantic, crimson sign is suspended from the ceiling, advertising 30% off the jackets that
hang on the silver rail below. A few men search through the jackets, hunting to ‘that
jacket’ they need for ‘that night out’. Advertising the reduction on the jackets, an
occasional tannoy interrupts the conversation about last week’s game – Liverpool v
Arsenal. Choking the men around the jackets, an overpowering smell of Diesel aftershave
fills the area.

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As opposed to the low murmur, the toy department is full of screams and laughter.
Blinded by the vivid colours, parents back away towards the door, watching their
children from afar. Deafened by the children’s screams of excitement, customers flee
from the toy department. Flashing lights erupt from the life-size piano mat that lies in the
middle of the room. ‘Twinkle twinkle little star’ can be heard from the speakers at the
edge of the mat. Wide eyed, children jump on the keys that light up when each note is
played. A strawberry scent drifts from the jellies that one child eats whilst playing on the
piano mat.

As opposed to the sound of children’s laughter in the toy department, infants cam be
heard crying in the cafeteria. Frustrated customers take their place in the endless queues,
absorbing the smell of freshly ground coffee; waiting to taste the newly cooked bacon.
Parents sit on the silver tables, trying to settle their children down. Hoping to entertain
the four year old boy, a mother points to the brightly coloured posters that stand out
against the dull walls. At the same time, the mother tries to finish her conversation with
her husband, telling him how her new boss might be getting fired. Whilst eating his Full
English breakfast, the man listens intently to his wife’s latest gossip.

The smell of the food drifts into the Home department, mingling with the combined smell
of pine and leather. Arranged in an orderly, geometric sort of pattern, the sofas create
little pathways for their buyers to walk through. A tannoy informs the customers that ‘if
they buy the Louisiana three-seater, they get the two-seater absolutely free!’ A tall, dark
haired man falls back onto the chocolate brown Louisiana sofa, trying to decide whether
it provides his comfort needs. The man flops onto the sofa one last time before getting up
and shaking his head and making his way to the black sofa that sits opposite.

Just as indecisive as the man in the Home department, women stare helplessly at the
silver in the jewellery department. Their eyes sparkle more than the diamonds embedded
in the rings and necklaces. A mixture of perfumes trail from the mob of women that hunt
for the bargain jewellery that they can wear for their nights out with the girls. A tannoy is
drowned out by the arguing of a mother and daughter. Raising her daughter’s arm, the
mother points out that she has just bought her daughter some perfume, which could be
smelt on her right wrist. The daughter insists on her mother buying her the silver T-bar
chain that lay in a velvet box inside the tall, rotating cabinet.

In each department, people hunt for the perfect bargain, searching the treats before
anyone else can. They make their way to the tills, credit cards out, ready to pay. As they
pick up their new found fortunes, the men, women and children make their way out of the
glass doors without looking back. Wishing he could do the same, the manager stares after
the leaving customers. Taking a deep breath, he straightens his smart, black suit amid
makes his way to his office, seeking peace from the noise of the tills and the shouts of the
customers. There in his office, he waits. He waits for the day to end.

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Planning Page

Script Three Plan

My Plan – a beach scene

(Include precise setting, character, incident)

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Multisensory Description
Details from example
Sight Hearing Smell Touch (Feelings)

Details for description of classroom

Sight Hearing Smell Touch (Feelings)

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Multisensory Description of a Beach – writing against the clock!

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A Colour Palate Glossary

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 ivory ghost white linen white

azure lavender misty rose

daim gray slate gray midnight blue

cornflower blue slate blue steel blue

powder blue turquoise aquamarine

olive green spring green lime green

khaki lemon gold

rosy brown Indian red beige

wheat salmon coral

hot pink deep pink violet red

plum orchid dark violet

SHOW NOT TELL

The mother is angry = TELL

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The mother glares at her sleeping husband
Her eyes are narrowed and stormy = examples of SHOW

Feelings that might develop on a beach: bored, blissfully happy,

relaxed, self-conscious, smug, worried, anxious

Select one and write a description of character which manages to

show without telling:

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How much do you now know about how to describe a
scene?

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