Hoenigmann 1

David Hoenigmann
Mrs. Robinson
English 101
7 December 2015
Self-Evaluation
I was not sure what to expect when this Fall semester started. I graduated from high
school in 2013 and have not written a single essay since then. I do not particularly enjoy writing,
so I tend to avoid it whenever possible. Needless to say, I was out of practice when it came to
this skill, and I knew this writing class would be challenging. However, improving my writing is
necessary to progress in my college education, and I was ready for the challenge. During this
semester, I learned what my writing errors tend to be, and some revising skills. In this evaluation
essay, I will use drafts and final products of four essays to highlight examples of the progression
I have made during the semester. I will also explain the goals of this writing course and how I
have fulfilled them.
The goals of this English composition class were to identify purpose, audience and
rhetorical situation, read and analyze academic sources, locate, evaluate, and integrate
information sources, employ appropriate documentation to support research-based essays, and
control conventions of language, mechanics, and MLA format (Syllabus). I had four writing
projects to complete this semester, which when combined, fulfilled the requirements for this
course. The first project was a literacy narrative, in which I was instructed to write a story about
a time I learned something about reading and writing (Project 1). The second project was an
advertisement analysis (Project 2). For this assignment, I was directed to select a commercial
for analysis and write an essay about it. My third project was a career outlook report. For this

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report, I was to choose, research, and write a report on a career field I was interested in (Project
3). The fourth and final project was a technology evaluation. In this assignment, we were given
three options for how to format the essay. I chose to evaluate two different models of a
technology I am considering purchasing (Project 4).
Through these four projects, I was able to get a firm grasp on the status of my writing.
Overall, I did a decent job this semester, which came as a surprise to me. I seemed to retain much
of what I had learned about writing from high school and was able to apply it. Thankfully, my
father was available to review my papers, and taught me revision methods so I could edit essays
myself. We had our own process to this. I would finish my rough draft, and then he would review
it himself. Afterwards, we would sit down together and discuss it and he would explain his
critiques and suggestions. During these discussions my dad pointed out some of the miscues in
my writing.
An error I consistently committed in my rough drafts was poor word choice. I found I had
a tendency to use words and phrases that are acceptable in every-day speech, but not so in
academic writing. An example of this was the use of the phrase a lot in my drafts. While a
lot is a commonly spoken phrase, it is not as eloquent as many, several, or multiple. I also
tended to use the word that throughout my writing early on in the semester. It is quite easy to
use that more often than necessary, due to the way it is used in every-day speech. There are
times the word that is required to complete a thought, but other times it is not. For example, in
the rough draft of my first writing project, New Kid, New Language, New Culture, I wrote the
following sentence: Looking back at that experience, I can honestly say that was one of the
biggest challenges I have ever had to face. While this sentence is not altogether bad, the word
that is not necessary for it to make sense. In my final paper that was changed to it.

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Additionally, restructuring a phrase made the sentence clearer and more articulate. In my final
paper the sentence read, Reflecting upon my Portuguese adventure, I can honestly say it was
one of the biggest challenges I have ever had to face (New Kid).
Another example of weak sentence structure can be found in my career outlook paper. On
page five of my draft, I wrote: There are drawbacks to being an HVACR technician just like any
other job (HVACR Technician). I strengthened the sentence in my final paper to read: Much
like any other job, there are drawbacks to being an HVACR technician (HVACR Technician).
The combination of changing words and rearranging the sentence can play a large role in making
my point clear to the readers.
Something else that was brought to my attention was my tendency to be repetitive with
words and phrases. It was recommended that I begin using a thesaurus to strengthen this area of
my writing. In my paper about the HVACR Technician, I made several corrections from the draft
to the final product. On page two of the rough draft, I changed the word given to assigned.
The original sentence read: Other times, they are given a specific job at a particular site, and
that is where they work the entire day (HVACR Draft). After some edits, the sentence read:
Other times, they are assigned a specific job at a particular construction site, and that is where
they work the entire day. Another example occurs on the same page with this sentence:
However, there are some basic tools that are required and recommended for the job by
professionals in this trade. The sentence in my final paper read: However, there are some
essential tools for the job which are less familiar. In this instance, using the word essential
instead of basic creates a stronger, more coherent sentence. The tools required for HVACR
technicians are not basic, but necessary for them to perform their job. Thus, essential better
emphasizes the importance of the specialized tools of the HVACR trade.

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Finding the best word or phrase possible will better clarify my writing. As the semester
progressed, instead of only using the thesaurus during the editing stage, I learned to use this
valuable tool while writing my drafts. This technique greatly reduced the time spent revising by
eliminating the informal slang and repetitive words.
Reflecting upon this semester, the progress I have made in my writing is evident. I
quickly learned what my tendencies were, and learned to correct my miscues. I also learned the
importance of having an experienced writer review my essay, to point out areas where I could
improve, explain why, and help me learn how to make corrections. This kind of assistance can
make all the difference for any writer. No doubt, I still have a long way to go. However, I am
certain the tools and skills I learned this semester will help carry me through the rest of my
college education and career, wherever it leads.

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Works Cited
Hoenigmann, David. New Kid, New Language, New Culture Draft. September 2015. Draft. 7
December 2015.
Hoenigmann, David. New Kid, New Language, New Culture. September 2015. Final. 7
December 2015.
Hoenigmann, David. HVACR Technician Draft. November 2015. Draft. 7 December 2015.
Hoenigmann, David HVACR Technician. 8 November 2015. Final. 7 December 2015.
Project 1 Literacy Narrative Sheet 2. csn.instructure.com. College of Southern Nevada. Fall
2015. Web. 6 December 2015.
Project 2 Advertisement Analysis Essay Directions. csn.instructure.com. College of Southern
Nevada. Fall 2015. Web. 7 December 2015.
Project 3 Career Outlook Report. csn.instructure.com. College of Southern Nevada. Fall 2015.
Web. 7 December 2015.
Robinson, Joan. Project 4 Technology Evaluation. csn.instructure.com. College of Southern
Nevada. Fall 2015. Web. 7 December 2015.
Syllabus. csn.instructure.com. College of Southern Nevada. Fall 2015. Web. 6 December 2015.