Noelle Korpusik

November 1, 2015
Introduction
Depression and how celebrity
suicides affect the general public
Depression can happen to
anyone at any age and I am going to share my story with
you, the facts of depression and a celebrity story with
depression and how it affected the general public.
Body of paper
Relationship Thesis: I started to cut myself...
Its the weak thing to do right? Thats what I always believed, I
wasnt strong enough to handle my life. I needed a way to cope,to
escape the reality that I was living, but in the end I learned that
does not make me weak.
my scars showing strength,
healing and progress
theyre scars not
cuts anymore
Concept Analysis Thesis: Depression isnt,
Im sad because I didnt get my way, or I feel extra tired today so I
must be depressed.
Definition of depression
the symptoms
the signs
who is most likely to
be depressed
Transition: One
celebrity holds a special place in my heart and Im

going to share his story and how it affected the

general public's view on depression.
Cause/Effect Thesis: April 8,
1994 brought the end of the grunge band Nirvana, heart
break among many young people and awareness to the
public with the loss of Nirvanas lead singer Kurt Cobain.
Cobains death
Immediate effects
long term effects
Conclusion: It is sad
that it took a death like this to educate the public, but
with the public educated it can hopefully prevent more
deaths like Cobains.
Conclusion: My struggling has not only made
me stronger but it has also made me want to be the support system
I never truly had. I will make sure my kids are raised in a home that
they dont have to depend on a blade to cope, instead they will
have a mother to talk to. Depression is real and together we can
help those who are suffering.

Depression
One leads to two, two leads to three, three leads to four, four leads to five, and it
continues to grow and grow until you eventually lose count. They continue to slowly
creep up on you, one by one and then you suddenly realize they cover your entire body.
Some of them are short, some long, some shallow while others are deep. Each and

every single one of them placed there for a reason, something triggered you to do it, to
escape, to breakdown, to hurt yourself. The relief that each one makes is only
temporary but that mark left on depression is a much bigger deal than it is made out to
be, it is a real mental illness not just a temporary emotion.
Depression doesnt discriminate. It affects people of all races, all genders, and
people of all ages. Depression comes in different forms, and affects everyone in
different ways. Im going to start with sharing my story, followed by the facts of
depression, and end with how a celebrity struggled with depression and the impact that
it had on the general public. Sometimes depression is strikes when you think things are
going well.
It all began my freshman year of high school, the whole adjusting from middle
school to high school thing was much harder than I could have ever imagined. It wasnt
necessarily the actual learning part, just the environment in which I had to do the
learning. I was never the popular kid in school, quite socially awkward actually, but what
really got to me was what I had to deal with when I went home after school. You know,
the usual broken home story, and the kids at school didnt help. My school was full of
bullies, kids who thought they were better than everyone. Kids who never thought about
what other people could be going through before they call them fat, ugly, stupid or
annoying. It finally got to a point that I couldnt handle the pain building up inside me
anymore. I started to cut myself... Its the weak thing to do right? Thats what I always
believed, I wasnt strong enough to handle my life. I needed a way to cope,to escape
the reality that I was living, but in the end I learned that does not make me weak.

I remember going to school every single day wearing long sleeves, no matter the
weather outside, I used to hear Noelle, arent you hot? or Noelle, its 75 degrees
outside over and over again. Comments like these continued for what felt like an
eternity, but then it came soccer season time. I had to dress up, I had to put on my
uniform, my cuts had to be visible for the outside world to see. People always asked
what happened, oh, the cat scratched me I would say so many times I almost started
to believe myself. Some of my teammates saw through my lies, my best friend since
fourth grade was the first one, to call me out. My team knew I was struggling, they could
see the pain behind every Im fine. Being with those girls everyday after school
definitely helped. My teammates respected me not wanting to talk about it, they just did
what they could to keep me smiling. Those girls could make me laugh no matter what I
was feeling on the inside. It helped me to forget what I was going through back home.
Im not saying my team made everything better, Im saying they made the pain
disappear for two and a half hours every day after school.. Depression doesn't just heal
itself, my cuts continued to spread, to my stomach, my thighs, where nobody could see
them anymore. But those cuts arent cuts anymore they have been healed, and now
they remain on my body forever as scars.
Depression isnt, Im sad because I didnt get my way, or I feel extra tired today
so I must be depressed. Depression is a real mental illness that affects so many
people's lives. Some can handle the pain and get the help they need, the therapy,
medications, whatever it takes. But there are those that dont make it to that better day.
The symptoms can be subtle, but they are there they are waiting to be found. Looking
for a certain type of person wont help you help someone because anyone can be

experiencing depression. When someone makes a joke about dying, do not laugh it off.
Talk to them, they could be truly suffering. Nobody knows for sure when someone is
really depressed, but if the signs point that way it never hurts to talk to them. Someone
could really be hurting and just too afraid to admit it.
Depression is (1) : a state of feeling sad : (2) : a psychoneurotic or
psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking
and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent
sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal
tendencies (Merriam-Webster). To be depressed doesnt mean that something did not
go your way, or you are sad for a day over something. Depression is much more than
that, but where does the illness come from? What are the signs? Who ends up with this
illness?
According to Healthy Place there are multiple different factors that can contribute
to depression. There are biological contributions to depression, such as physical
changes to the brain. Depressed parts of the brain show less stimulation than the parts
of the brain that arent depressed, the depressed parts of the brain even reduced in
volume in comparison to the parts of the brain that arent depressed. The distribution of
serotonin and dopamine, are also a biological factor to depression, some people do not
receive enough of these happy drugs in certain parts of their brain. Biological factors
are not the only factors of depression, environmental changes in your life can contribute
to depression also. Environmental changes that can cause depression are things such
as the death of a loved one, financial issues, and marital troubles. In teenagers learned

helplessness is thought to be one of the bigger causes of depression. Teens believe

they cant find any answers to the problems life throws at them and with
not being able to come up with these answers teenagers begin to give up. The
third main contribution to depression is gender, men versus women. Pregnancy causes
postpartum depression in women, nearly 15% of women are diagnosed with postpartum
depression after they have a child. Menopause also causes depression among older
women. Men tend to have a greater chance to experience depression caused by low
testosterone levels as they get older in life (Tracy). So, when do you know if someone
you care about is struggling with depression?
The staff at Mayo Clinic have published many of the symptoms of depression for
everyone to be aware of. One of the biggest signs someone is depressed is someone
talking about death, or saying that the feel guilt and worthless. Another one of the
bigger symptoms is change in appetite, whether someone is eating very little or gaining
a large amount of weight at one time are signs that they could be depressed. Another
sign is if someone begins to lose complete interest in something that they are super
passionate about,whether it is a sport, club, or a relationship. It is a big sign especially if
it is something they have been passionate about for years or something that they truly
love. Oversleeping and undersleeping (Insomnia) are both signs that someone is
depressed, they either think too much and cant sleep or they sleep because they have
lost all motivation. All of these signs are of the biggest signs that someone is
depressed. There are little signs too, like not being able to focus for decent periods of
time in class or at work. Having random, frequent outbursts of anger or crying spells out
of nowhere. Lots of headaches and body pains and the pains still being persistent after

medical treatments (Staff). The National Institute of Mental Health have a few symptoms
to add to the list, such as digestive problems that continue even after medical
treatments. Having trouble remembering details is another sign of depression. The
persistent sad, anxious and empty feelings are also another sign that someone is
feeling depressed (Goldberg).
Nearly 15% of people will experience severe depression at some point in their
lives. The most common onset time for depression is between the ages of 30 and 40
years old, although there is a later peak between ages 50 and 60 years old. Women are
twice as likely to suffer with depression than men, this could be because men are less
likely to talk about their feelings. With that though, men are much more likely to commit
suicide. Research in the United Kingdom shows that about 2% of teenagers in the
United Kingdom suffer from depression. Depression can affect people at any age or
any time of their life, but people who have a family history of depression are more likely
to become depressed (Depression Can Be Fun- Who gets depressed).
Other times, I look at my scars and see something else: a girl who was trying to
cope with something horrible that she should never have had to live through at all. My
scars show pain and suffering, but they also show my will to survive. They're part of my
history that'll always be there("Cheryl Rainfield > Quotes"). No matter who walks out of
my life next, where my journey takes me, my strength in my scars will stay with me
forever. Somedays when the going gets hard again I just look at my scars and
remember that I can get through whatever life has to throw at me because, not only
have I done it once already but I have celebrities to look at, celebrities who went

through the same struggles I did. One celebrity holds a special place in my heart and
Im going to share his story and how it affected the general public's view on depression.
April 8, 1994 brought the end of the grunge band Nirvana, heart break among
many young people and awareness to the public with the loss of Nirvanas lead singer
Kurt Cobain. At the age of 27, Cobain was found in his home with a shotgun wound to
his head and a large dose of heroin in his system (Stout). The questions that remained
were what caused Cobain to do this and what are the effects that it will have on the
public?
Cobains life was never necessarily very easy for him, starting at a young age he
was diagnosed with hyperactivity and his parents split up when he was 8 years old.
During his young adult life he was found living with multiple relatives as an angry,
difficult to-control teenager. He began with having problems with conduct (vandalism)
and an ever growing problem with substance abuse. In high school Cobain started to
play the guitar. He never knew how far it could take him and just two weeks before
graduation he dropped out of high school to continue with petty crimes and substance
abuse. A couple years after dropping out of high school the band Nirvana was formed
and the band became a huge success after their third album Nevermind followed by
their album In Utero, selling millions of copies. Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain married
soon after his successful music career began and had their first and only daughter,
Frances (Bean). Love and Cobains relationship was made up of passion, intense
fighting and drug abuse. Kurt also suffered from chronic stomach pain and depression
upon the drug abuse and constant fighting with his wife. In an interview with Rolling
Stone that took place about 4 months prior to his tragic death he told Rolling Stone

about his suicidal thoughts and fascination with guns. Cobain had an overdose of
tranquilizers and champagne while on tour in Europe and was sent to a rehab center
soon after, where he then disappeared after two days and was not found until April 8th
by an electrician, dead in his home from a shotgun wound in his head. The toxicology
report also showed high levels of not only heroin in his system but also valium (Jobes).
Cobains death made the media not only all across the United States, but
throughout the entire world. Radio stations played Nirvana around the clock, MTV
played music videos, interviews and concert footage. The news of his death was the
lead story in the press, Rolling Stone did an entire issue devoted to Cobain. A candle lit
vigil took place for Cobain with some 7,000 fans, the organizers were very worried
about copycat suicides. Which they had every right to be, a 7 week surveillance was
examined after his death where 24 suicides took place, but only one was connected to
his death. Yes, Cobains death caused tons of grief afterward, it still causes grief to this
day. But positive immediate effects took place also like the various outreach efforts in
the Seattle community to provide support and education to the public (Jobes). Although,
tons of grief took place, a rockstar was taken and copycat suicides happened, the public
became more education because of Cobains death, this death will have an impact on
the world forever.
Effects of Cobains death are still taking place, with one person in particular,
Richard Lee, a self proclaimed investigative journalist. Sloterdijk in his story Bubbles
went on to explain how we live in these spheres that we call our worlds and when one
leaves their sphere the small emergencies are loved ones coping, their empty home
and the torn up photograph. Although, the death of a sphere leaves more than just small

details, it leaves those who lost someone with their memories, knowledge and
sometimes even a mission. A mission that the person left behind knows it is for them to
complete, they are determined to do what they believed the deceased left for the
(Sloterdijk). Lee believed that Cobain left him a mission, a mission to find the true
answer to his death. This man Lee has spent 21 years fascinating over Cobains
suicide. Lee has a television show called Now See it Person to Person: Kurt Cobain
Was Murdered. Each week Lee would spend an hour explaining elaborate theories of
why and how Cobain was murdered, even though his death was ruled a suicide 21
years prior to this. Lees theories of who killed Cobain were his widow Courtney Love,
the members of Nirvana, and the United States government. This man had even taken
his case to court, he was completely crazy because of the Cobain case. Lee went as far
as stalking Nirvanas bassist and was arrested for harassing Courtney Love. Lee has
still not given up on his theories, he says that he will continue to refile his lawsuit
(Schwab).
Cobains death was a tragedy that will live on forever through his music that
continues to grow more and more popular throughout the years. Kurt lives as the voice
of the generation of rock music in the early 90s. Cobains death brought grief among so
many, but his death helped the public understand depression and suicide. They wanted
to understand, they reached out to crisis lines to understand why someone would do
such a thing, someone they believed was so happy. Without this huge celebrity suicide
the general public might not be as aware of the concept of depression or even
understand what depression is, where it comes from or how to tell if someone is
depressed. It is sad that it took a death like this to educate the public, but with the public

educated it can hopefully prevent more deaths like Cobains I know it helped prevent
my own.
I look at those lines, the shallow ones, the deep ones, long and short ones and I
smile, I smile like I have never been broken. I survived. I truly survived the horror and I
can thank Kurt Cobain for being an inspiration to my healing, still today I have the
proof all over my body that I made it. It is still a little hard to go to the beach and to wear
shorts and have people stare directly at my thighs in awe, but each year I get more and
more confident because they continue to get older, none of them are new anymore and
I am beyond proud of that. Everyone still is embarrassed about my scars, but why
should they be? They are my scars not theirs, I will live with them for the rest of my life,
not them. My family always asks me, What are you going to tell your children one day?
My answer to them has never changed and it will never change, I always say Im going
to tell them that their mom is a warrior, she beat the battle with herself. My struggling
has not only made me stronger but it has also made me want to be the support system I
never truly had. I will make sure my kids are raised in a home that they dont have to
depend on a blade to cope, instead they will have a mother to talk to. Depression is real
and together we can help those who are suffering.

Works Cited
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Cheryl Rainfield Quotes. Cheryl Rainfield Quotes (author of Scars). Goodreads

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Depression Can Be Fun- Who gets Depressed? Who gets Depressed? web. 25 sept.
2015.

Goldberg, Joseph. Signs of Clinical Depression: Symptoms to watch for. Webmd.

Webmd. Aug. 2014. Web. 25 Sept. 2015

Jobes, David A., et al. "The Kurt Cobain Suicide Crisis: Perspectives from Research,
Public Health, and the News Media."Suicide & Life - Threatening Behavior
23.6

Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Web. 15 Nov. 2015.

Schwab, Isabel. "The Man Who Won't Let Kurt Cobain Die." The Daily BeastAug 02
2015. ProQuest. Web. 8 Oct. 2015 .

Staff, Clinic. Depression (major depressive disorder). Depression (Major depression)

Symptoms. 22 July 2015. 24 sept. 2015

Stout, Gene. "Kurt Cobain Endures a Decade After His Suicide:" Edmonton Journal: B5.
Apr 04 2004. ProQuest. Web. 8 Oct. 2015 .

Tracy Natasha. Causes of Depression: What causes Depression?- Healthy Place.

Healthy Place. 23 Sept. 2015. Web 24 Sept. 2015