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    E-Litaracy Narrative 2nd Draft Feedback

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    Ms. Copeland's English class was procrastinating on a project that required multiple papers. When she asked about their progress, the students panicked because the deadline was only a week away. Ms. Copeland stopped answering questions about formatting and told the class to focus on completing their thoughts rather than reaching a certain length. She shared a story about receiving a zero on her first college paper because it only had five paragraphs. This lesson made the narrator rethink his writing approach and led to improving his grade on the project.

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    E-Litaracy Narrative 2nd Draft Feedback

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    94 views3 pages
    Ms. Copeland's English class was procrastinating on a project that required multiple papers. When she asked about their progress, the students panicked because the deadline was only a week away. Ms. Copeland stopped answering questions about formatting and told the class to focus on completing their thoughts rather than reaching a certain length. She shared a story about receiving a zero on her first college paper because it only had five paragraphs. This lesson made the narrator rethink his writing approach and led to improving his grade on the project.

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    Ms. Copeland's English class was procrastinating on a project that required multiple papers. When she asked about their progress, the students panicked because the deadline was only a week away. Ms. Copeland stopped answering questions about formatting and told the class to focus on completing their thoughts rather than reaching a certain length. She shared a story about receiving a zero on her first college paper because it only had five paragraphs. This lesson made the narrator rethink his writing approach and led to improving his grade on the project.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as docx, pdf, or txt
    94 views3 pages

    E-Litaracy Narrative 2nd Draft Feedback

    Uploaded by

    api-271973532
    Ms. Copeland's English class was procrastinating on a project that required multiple papers. When she asked about their progress, the students panicked because the deadline was only a week away. Ms. Copeland stopped answering questions about formatting and told the class to focus on completing their thoughts rather than reaching a certain length. She shared a story about receiving a zero on her first college paper because it only had five paragraphs. This lesson made the narrator rethink his writing approach and led to improving his grade on the project.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as docx, pdf, or txt
    of 3

    Eliel 1

    Eliel Cruz
    Professor Olivia Zicherman
    UWRT 1101
    17 September 2014
    Literacy Narrative

    Comment [O1]: Margins should be 1

    The first time I can think of in which I was affected by a literary sponsor was
    during my senior year in high school. I was in class just talking to some friends and my
    English teacher Ms. Copeland asked us.
    How far along are you guys with your projects?
    Referring to a project that required us to read a book and write a book review, an
    alternate ending to the book, an essay that explained how the character showed growth
    and a PowerPoint presentation. Since the deadline was right around the corner and Ms.
    Copeland knew that we were all procrastinating. But when Ms. Copeland mentioned

    Comment [O2]: Fragment

    when exactly the deadline was is when we all started to panic. It was no more then a

    Comment [O3]: than

    week away and I had to have at least three different papers. So being the lazy students we
    were, we started to ask her things like.
    What exact time does it need to be turned in? my classmate asked.
    How low will our grade be if we only turn in two of the three papers? another
    asked.
    How long do our papers need to be?
    Ms. Copeland of course answered all of our questions until one of us asked.
    If it had to be five paragraphs.

    Comment [O4]: Who said this? Perhaps


    reword as Does it have to be five
    paragraphs?

    Eliel 2
    At that point Ms. Copeland stopped answering our questions and told us in serious
    manner that we should write until the thought is complete. I was confused since I had
    never heard anyone say that before, all I had ever heard before was that we should have at
    least five paragraphs. So we asked her what she meant so Ms. Copeland explained to us
    that when you write anything that you shouldnt look at how much you have. But rather
    you should focus on if what your writing is completely thought out. In other words
    someone should be able to read your paper and be able to completely understand your
    thought process.

    Comment [O5]: Perhaps show this in


    dialogue?

    Then a classmate asked her what if we have isnt enough to fill the required
    length of the paper, so Ms. Copeland just simply said to build up on what you have and to
    go back and read it and see to try and figure out what area is lacking and try to improve
    on it. I then asked her.
    Why dont they ever tell us this high school?
    Ms. Copeland said.
    I honestly dont know but the you guys need to stop thinking that five paragraphs
    is enough for a paper since it wont help you in college.
    This really intrigued me since I had never thought about writing like that. But It
    really helped that it was Ms. Copeland telling me this. You see, I always enjoyed coming
    to her class since this was her first year teaching and there wasnt as much of an age gap
    that you normally have with other teachers, so it was always easy to talk to her. Besides
    Ms. Copeland would tell us stories about stuff that happened to her in college and try to
    convince us to attend UNCW. At this point Ms. Copeland starts to tell us about her first
    experience writing a paper for her college professor, Ms. Copeland told us that she had

    Comment [O6]: Perhaps turn this into


    dialogue?

    Eliel 3
    done the exact same thing that she was telling us not to do and written only five
    paragraphs. So when the professor gave her back the paper and it was a zero with a note
    that said to see him after class. At this point the Ms. Copeland said that she was livid and
    asked him why he had given her such a bad grade even though she had tried really hard
    on it. The professor said that her paper wasnt college level work and it reminded him of
    a middle school assignment. But if she wanted an actual grade that she would have to
    learn to finish her thoughts when she writes her paper and not just try and to bunch up so
    much into five paragraphs. At this point Ms. Copeland said that she was actually crying
    but she had learned her lesson. She went back to her dorm and rewrote her paper, right
    then my friend Luis interrupted her and asked her
    Did you at least get a good grade?
    Nope, I ended up getting an eighty.
    Although most of the class thought her story was funny, there was a couple that
    understood the actual lesson she was trying to teach, to me it was an lesson in literacy, I
    thought to myself.
    Why I had never thought this way?

    Comment [O7]: Put thoughts in italics, not


    quotes

    Then I thought about how much better my papers could have been in my past
    English classes. This to me was a wakeup call and that I shouldnt just try to scrape by
    with the bare essentials and to actually try and put some actual effort with my writing.
    So that day I went home and started to revise all my work that I had done for the
    project and realized that I had done the exact same mistake Ms. Copeland had mentioned.
    I ended making an eighty-seven on the project, although that wasnt bad, I felt that I had
    improved so much more as a writer.

    Comment [O8]: Wow! I really love the


    changes you made to your story. It made it
    so much stronger! To improve it even more,
    I would suggest that you add more of
    yourself into the story. Right now, it seems
    like your just a bystander, watching as the
    action unfolds. Give us more of your
    thoughts. Also, I noted a few places where
    you could turn description into dialogue.
    This will also help with the length. Your final
    draft needs to be minimum 4 full pages.

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