Official Script

ACT ONE

PROLOGUE

The l i ght s f ade on t he audi t or i umand magni f i cent ,
por t ent ous, VAST musi c f i l l s t he ai r . What el se coul d i t be
but I NNUENDO. . . . t he song bl ast s t hr ough t he dar kness, sung
by an unseen chor us. Huge and gr andi ose. We pl ay i t up

unt i l t he end of t he f i r st sect i on. . . . Ti l l t he end of
t i me.
Ooh ooh

FREDDI E
Whi l e t he sun hangs i n t he sky and t he deser t has sand
Whi l e t he waves cr ash i n t he sea and meet t he l and
Whi l e t her e' s a wi nd and t he st ar s and t he r ai nbow
Ti l l t he mount ai ns cr umbl e i nt o t he pl ai n

FREDDI E + ( CHORUS)
( Oh)
( Yes) We' l l keep on t r yi ng
( Oh) Tr ead t hat f i ne l i ne
( Oh) We' l l keep on t r yi ng yeah

FREDDI E
Ti l l t he end of t i me

SCENE ONE. POPS ARCHI VE. THE LASER CELL.

Pop, an ol d hi ppy l i br ar i an i s f ur t i vel y speaki ng i nt o hi s
di ct aphone.

POP
They near l y got me t hat t i me. . . I
t hought my sweet whi t e ar se was t oast !
I must make hast e. . . I must compl et e
t he r ebel ar chi ve. . . St ar dat e May 14t h
2304. Al t hough I have yet t o uncover
t he exact dat e on whi ch t he musi c
di ed, i t i s cl ear t o me t hat an
anci ent ent er t ai nment phenomenon known
as " Pop I dol " pl ayed a cent r al r ol e.
Soon, Popst ar s wer e bei ng cr eat ed at
such a r at e t hat t hey wer e f amous f or
l ess t i me t han i t t ook t o pl ay t hei r
r ecor ds. Cul t ur e i mpl oded, t he
Gl obal sof t cor por at i on
sei zed i t ' s oppor t uni t y, and t he age
of Ga Ga had dawned.

Suddenl y t hr oughout t he dar kness we see t he sudden
br i ght ness of a l aser cel l . Ver t i cal shaf t s of cr uel l i ght
spl i t t he ai r . Khashoggi , t he chi ef of secr et pol i ce
appear s.

KHASHOGGI
Oh my. Oh my, oh my. What i s t hi s? Do
I see a l i t t l e si l houet t e of a spy?

POP
Bummer .

KHASHOGGI
Tel l me ol d man, why do you concer n
your sel f so much wi t h what i s past ?

POP
Because i t i s onl y t he past t hat gi ves
us hope.

KHASHOGGI
But you have r ead t he secr et
hi st or i es. Sur el y you have l ear ned
t hat t her e i s no hope?

POP
Ther e i s al ways hope.

Pop' s hand i s caught i n t he l aser cel l .

POP ( cont ' d)
Hope i s our bi r t hr i ght .

KHASHOGGI i s l osi ng pat i ence, hi s cal mexpl odes i nt o
moment ar y r age.

KHASHOGGI
Then wher e i s i t ! Wher e i s t hi s hope?

Pop pauses bef or e cal ml y r epl yi ng.

POP
Anyway t he wi nd bl ows.

KHASHOGGI
What do you know of t he t er m' Li vi ng
r ock' ?

POP
Onl y t hat whi ch t he l egend pr omi ses.
That sal vat i on i s t o be f ound t her e!
At t he pl ace of champi ons! And t hat a
br i ght , br i ght st ar wi l l show t he way!
Baby!

KHASHOGGI smi l es.

KHASHOGGI
Don' t you j ust hat e hi ppi es!
Consi gn t hi s mi ser abl e cr eat ur e t o The
Seven Seas of Rhye.

The pol i ce cl ose i n on Pop, hi s l aser cel l f l ashes, t hey
pl ace a hor r i f yi ng el ect r oni c hel met on hi s head. Pop gr i ps
t he hel met and SCREAMS. . . .

POP
Make l ove not waaaaaaaaaaaaaar !

But he i s gone. Bl ackout .

SCENE TWO. VI RTUAL HI GH SCHOOL.

The openi ng dr umbeat of RADI O GA GA ki cks i n.
Now l i ght expl odes on st age t o r eveal massed r anks of cl one
l i ke ki ds, t hey have f i xed smi l es, and move wi t h
chor eogr aphed symmet r i cal movement s. They ar e dr essed not
qui t e i dent i cal l y but i n ver y si mi l ar cl ot hes t o each
ot her . Happy, kooky, sexl essl y sexy, yout h or i ent at ed
cl ot hes, t he Top Shop/ Top Gi r l war dr obe of t hei r er a. Ther e
i s somet hi ng si ni st er about t hei r smi l es and cl ot hes,
St epf or d Ki ds.
They si ng RADI O GA GA

GA GA KI DS
Gl obal sof t
We si t al one and wat ch your l i ght
Our onl y f r i end t hr ough t eenage ni ght s
And ever yt hi ng we want t o get
We down- l oad f r omt he i nt er net
No need t o t hi nk, no need t o f eel
When onl y Cyber space i s r eal
I t makes us l augh. I t makes us cr y
I t makes us f eel l i ke we can f l y
We can f l y!
A bl uepr i nt f or our l i f e on- l i ne
Touch any key The wor l d i s mi ne
We' r e l ost i n space but we don' t car e
Wi t hout your l i ght our wor l d' s not t her e
Compl et e cont r ol you ar e t he power
Our l i ves ar e pr ogr ammed by t he hour Gl obal show, Gl obal
show
Al l we hear i s Radi o ga ga
Vi deo goo goo
I nt er net ca ca
Al l we hear i s Cyber space ga ga
Mar ket i ng bl ah bl ah
Al ways somet hi ng new?
Gl obal sof t Al l your wor l d l oves you!
We wat ch our shows we wat ch your st ar s
Acr oss our scr eens f or hour s and hour s
We har dl y need our eyes or ear s
We j ust l og on and our dr eams appear
Gl obal show
We' r e not al one, we have our f r i ends
On Cyber l ove we can depend
So st i ck ar ound ' cos we' d al l mi ss you
We need our Gr aphi cs need our vi sual
Compl et e cont r ol You ar e t he power
You use our l i ves up by t he hour
Gl obal show Al l we hear i s Radi o ga ga
Vi deo goo goo
I nt er net ca ca
Al l we hear i s Cyber space ga ga
Mar ket i ng bl ah bl ah
Al ways somet hi ng new?
Gl obal sof t Al l your wor l d l oves you!
As t he song ends t he ki ds expl ode i nt o happy cl appy
cel ebr at i on.
GALI LEO ent er s.
GALI LEO i s di f f er ent f r omt he young peopl e we have j ust
seen, he i s a sul l en, di saf f ect ed t een, he doesn' t dr ess i n
t he happy kooky cl ot hes t he ot her s wear , he i s t he J ames
Dean of hi s t i me, a r ebel wi t hout a cause, sensi t i ve and
conf used. A coi l ed spr i ng wai t i ng t o go boi ng!
TEACHER
Hey ki ds, school ' s out ! I t ' s summer
t i me. Get out t her e and have some
f un!

GA GA KI DS
That i s so cool ! Al r i ght !

GALI LEO
Hey You!

GA GA KI DS
Yeah What !

GALI LEO
You' r e al l Cl ones! Ga Ga sheep!

GA GA KI DS
Tal k t o t he hand! ( Cl i ck f i nger s)

GALI LEO
Fool s. . . Mor ons. . . Don' t You under st and
you' r e al l sl aves?
The t eacher i s a bi t hi p, one of t hose sl i ght l y gr oovy
t eacher s who ar e al ways t r yi ng t o get wi t h t he ki ds.

TEACHER
Hey mat e, come on, go cel ebr at e! Your
l i f e i s j ust begi nni ng.

GALLI LEO
Good! The s- sooner i t begi ns t he
sooner i t ' s over wi t h.

Gal i l eo has a sl i ght st ut t er . We sense i t i s mor e t hat he
can' t f i nd t he wor ds he want s t o say r at her t han a genui ne
di sabi l i t y.

TEACHER
But you have so much pot ent i al . You
coul d get a j ob wi t h any di vi si on of
Gl obal sof t you choose. How about musi c
pr ogr ammi ng?

GALLI LEO
I don' t want t o pr ogr amme musi c. I
want t o make musi c. Real musi c. My own
musi c.

TEACHER
( Suddenl y scar ed)
Hey! Mat e, cool i t .

She checks t hat t hey ar e not bei ng over hear d.

TEACHER ( cont ' d)
Now l i st en www- sl ash- gor don- at - t he
j ones' s- dot - com.

GALI LEO
My name i s Gal i l eo Fi gar o.

TEACHER
Nobody i s cal l ed Gal i l eo Fi gar o. Wher e
on Pl anet Mal l di d you come up wi t h
t hat ?

Now Gal i l eo' s moment of st r ut t i ng ar r ogance i s over , he i s
scar ed agai n, scar ed and conf used.

GALI LEO
I ' ve f ound i t . I n a dr eam. I have
dr eams you see. And I hear noi ses,
scr eechi ng, t huddi ng, b- bangi ng
noi ses. And wor ds, wor ds dr op i nt o my
head, t oo many wor ds. Hel p! I need
somebody. Hel p! Not j ust anybody.

TEACHER
I under st and. I f eel your pai n. But
come on mat e! You l i ve i n a per f ect
wor l d. What mor e coul d you possi bl y
want ?

Gal i l eo si ngs I WANT TO BREAK FREE.

GALI LEO
I want br eak f r ee. I want t o br eak f r ee
I want t o br eak f r ee f r omyour l i es your so sel f sat i sf i ed
I don' t need you
I ' ve got t o br eak f r ee
God knows. God knows I want t o br eak f r ee
I ' ve f al l en i n l ove
I ' ve f al l en i n l ove f or t he f i r st t i me
I n l ove wi t h a wor l d t hat ' s f or r eal !
I ' ve f al l en l ove
God knows. God knows I ' ve f al l en i n l ove
I t ' s st r ange but i t ' s t r ue - hey!
I know I ' mdi f f er ent t her e' s so much I have t o do
But I have t o be sur e. When I wal k out t hat door
Oh how I want t o be f r ee baby
Oh how I have t o be f r ee
Oh how I want t o br eak f r ee!
Dur i ng t he i nst r ument al br eak whi l e Gal i l eo wr i t hes i n
t or ment ed angui sh.
Gal i l eo si ngs on.
Thi s exi st ence i s wr ong
I can' t get used t o l i vi ng wi t hout , l i vi ng wi t hout ,
l i vi ng wi t hout Hope
I t ' s al l a l i e
I don' t want t o l i ve al one
But God knows. Got t o make i t on my own
So peopl e can' t you see
God knows I ' ve got t o
God knows I need t o
God knows I want t o br eak f r ee

A r ay of l i ght descends on Gal i l eo. I t i s a pol i ce l aser
cel l , he i s i mmobi l i zed, f r ozen, sur r ounded by bar s of
l i ght . Khashoggi and t he t eacher ent er .

KHASHOGGI .
You say t hi s boy want s t o make hi s own
musi c?

The t eacher emer ges. Her manner t ot al l y changed. We now
r eal i se t hat t he t eacher i s a pol i ce spy.

TEACHER
Yes, t he l i t t l e f r eak says he hear s i t
i n hi s dr eams.

KHASHOGGI
He i s awar e t hat musi c, ot her t han
t hat pr ogr ammed by t he Gl obal sof t
Cor por at i on, i s i l l egal ? The act of an
i ndi vi dual .

TEACHER
Of cour se, but he doesn' t car e.

Has he ever t r i ed t o make an
i nst r ument ?

TEACHER
Once i n t echni cal st udi es, he was
caught t r yi ng t o st r et ch pl ast i c
st r i ng acr oss an empt y l unch box.

KHASHOGGI
Di d he pl uck i t ?

TEACHER
Yes, but he cl ai med he di d not know
why.

KHASHOGGI
So. . . An i gnor ant pl ucker . I t hi nk
t hat I shal l have t o t al k t o t hi s boy.

Khashoggi cl i cks hi s f i nger s and Gal i l eo di sappear s.

TEACHER
Goodbye " mat e" ha ha.

KHASHOGGI
Ar e t her e any ot her pot ent i al
bohemi ans i n t hi s year s gr aduat i on
gr oups?

TEACHER
I amsor r y t o have t o r epor t commander
t hat t her e i s one ot her . A r epul si ve
cr eat ur e. A gi r l .

As t he t eacher speaks, t her e appear s downst age a young
gi r l , she i s SCARAMOUCHE ( she i s not cal l ed t hi s yet but we
wi l l r ef er t o her as such t o avoi d compl i cat i on) .
Scar amouche i s a t eenage gi r l who doesn' t f i t , l i ke Gal i l eo
she dr esses di f f er ent l y t o t he t eeny pop cl ones ar ound her ,
she i s a punk and a l oner , al l i n bl ack she has swat hed her
body i n huge cl ot hes, t he cl assi c di saf f ect ed got h
t eenager .

SCARAMOUCHE
I want br eak f r ee
I want t o br eak f r ee
I want t o br eak f r ee f r omyour l i es your so sel f sat i sf i ed
I don' t need you
I ' ve got t o br eak f r ee
God knows
God knows I want t o br eak f r ee

Khashoggi and hi s of f i cer di sappear i nt o dar kness as a
nast y gr oup of t een queen cheer l eader s ent er and st ar t t o
t aunt Scar amouche.

TEEN QUEEN ONE.
( Whi st l e) Check out t he wei r do, gi r l s.

TEEN QUEEN TWO
Doesn' t your mumdown l oad you
anyt hi ng decent t o wear ?

SCARAMOUCHE
( def i ant )
I make my own f ashi on st at ement s.

TEEN QUEEN THREE.
What ' s t oday' s st at ement t hen? " Hal l o
I ' ma pat het i c, ugl y l i t t l e zer o" ?

TEEN QUEEN FOUR.
How wi l l you ever get wi t h one of t he
boys f r omt he Boy Zone dr essed up l i ke
some sor t of f r eak?

TEEN QUEEN FI VE.
You' r e a di sgr ace t o t he Ga Ga Gi r l s.

SCARAMOUCHE
I ai n' t no Ga Ga Gi r l and I ' mnot
i nt er est ed i n t he ki nd of Boys R Us
der r br ai n zone cl ones you hang out
wi t h.

TEEN QUEEN ONE.
You ar e such a sad l oner .

SCARAMOUCHE
( To her sel f )
Wel l you sur e ar e r i ght about t hat ,
bi t ch.

Scar amouche and t he Teen Bi t ches si ng SOMEBODY TO LOVE. The
chor al bi t s bei ng del i ver ed as br i t t l e, gi r l y sneer s " Take
a l ook at your sel f i n t he mi r r or " et c

SCARAMOUCHE ( cont ' d)
Can anybody f i nd me somebody t o l ove?

SCARAMOUCHE + ( GI RLS)
Each mor ni ng I get up I di e a l i t t l e
Can bar el y st and on my f eet
Take a l ook i n t he mi r r or and cr y
( Take a l ook at your sel f i n t he mi r r or and cr y)
Lor d what you doi n' t o me
( Yeah yeah)
I ' ve spent al l my year s i n bel i evi ng i n you
( Ooh bel i evi ng you)
But I j ust can' t get no r el i ef
( Ooh Ooh Ooh)
Lor d, somebody, ooh somebody, somebody
( Lor d somebody, somebody)
Can anybody f i nd me
( Anybody f i nd me)
Somebody t o l ove

TEEN QUEEN FI VE
Somebody t o l ove you? Yeah r i ght .

TEEN QUEEN ONE
Hal l o- o t hat i s so not goi ng t o
happen.

TEEN QUEEN THREE.
Get a vi r t ual l i f e!
I wor k har d ( She wor ks har d?) ever y day of my l i f e
I wor k ' t i l I ache my bones
At t he end I go home al l on my own
( At t he end of t he day goes home goes home on her own)
I go down on my knees and st ar t t o pr ay
( down knees Pr ai se t he Lor d)
' Ti l t he t ear s r un down f r ommy eyes
( Ooh Ooh Ooh Lor d)
Lor d, somebody, ooh somebody,
( somebody)
Can anybody f i nd me,
( pl ease anybody f i nd me)
Somebody t o l ove
( She wor ks har d)
Ever y Day I t r y I t r y I t r y
( Ever yday t r y I t r y I t r y)
But ever ybody want s t o put me down
( Ooh)
They say I ' mgoi ng cr azy
( Ooh)
They say I ' ve got a l ot of wat er i n my br ai n
Ah I ' ve got no common sense
I ' ve got nobody l ef t t o bel i eve
( she' s got nobody l ef t t o bel i eve yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Got no f eel , I got no r hyt hm. I j ust keep l osi ng my beat
( You' l l j ust keep l osi ng and l osi ng)
I ' mOK, I ' mal r i ght . No I ai n' t gonna f ace no def eat
( she' s al r i ght she' s al r i ght yeah)
I j ust got t a get out of t hi s pr i son cel l
( ooh t hi s pr i son cel l )
Someday I ' mgonna be f r ee Lor d!
( Someday I ' mgonna be f r ee Lor d! )
( Fi nd me somebody t o l ove, Fi nd me somebody t o l ove)
Oh, f i nd me f i nd me f i nd
( Fi nd me somebody t o l ove, Fi nd me( me) somebody t o l ove l ove)
Ooh
( Fi nd me( me) somebody t o l ove l ove- Somebody Somebody
Somebody Somebody Somebody Fi nd me Somebody f i nd me
somebody t o l ove)
Can anybody f i nd me
( Anybody f i nd me)
Somebody t o l ove?
( Ooh ooh To l ove)

At t he cl i max of t he song Khashoggi emer ges f r omt he
dar kness, smoot h and si ni st er .

KHASHOGGI .
How ver y t ouchi ng young l ady. But
sur el y you under st and t hat t he company
l oves you? Ar r est her .

SCARAMOUCHE
Gl obal sof t equal s f asci sm.
Of f i cer s ent er and gr ab Scar amouche as t he musi c of KI LLER
QUEEN ki cks i n. . . .

SCENE THREE. THE BOARDROOM.
We f i nd our sel ves i n t he head of f i ce of GLOBALSOFT, t he
vast mul t i nat i onal t hat makes and sel l s ever yt hi ng. An
of f i ce i n t he sky l ooki ng down on a gl eami ng ci t y- scape
beneat h. DRAPES, t he head of Gl obal sof t Eur ope i s
addr essi ng hi s i mpeccabl y cool , power sui t ed, yuppi e st af f .
I t i s Cal vi n Kl ei n meet s Met r opol i s.

ELECTRONI C VOI CE
Wor ker s of Gl obal sof t ! J uni or
execut i ves, Seni or execut i ves, vi ce
pr esi dent s, pr esi dent s, Chai r men,
Chai r women, Chai r - t r ansexual s and
chai r - andr ogenous ar t i f i ci al l y cr eat ed
l i f e f or ms. Pl ease pr epar e t o wel come
t he Chi ef Execut i ve Of f i cer of
Gl obal sof t Pl anet Wi de! WWW- dot - Ki l l er
Queen- at - Gl obal sof t - Dot - Com- Sl ash- t he
Wor l d!

Huge exci t ement as Dr apes and t he assembl ed super yuppi es
si ng KI LLER QUEEN.

SUPER YUPPI ES + ( OFFSTAGE)
She keeps Moet and Chandon
I n her pr et t y cabi net
Let t hen eat cake, she says
Fi nd me on t he I nt er net
A bui l t i n a r emedy
For Kr uschev and Kennedy
( ooh)
At anyt i me an i nvi t at i on
You can' t decl i ne

GI RLS + OFFSTAGE
Cavi ar and ci gar et t es
Wel l ver sed i n et i quet t e
Ext r aor di nar i l y ni ce!
She' s a Ki l l er Queen
Gun powder , gel at i ne
Dynami t e wi t h a Laser beam
' N' Guar ant eed t o bl ow your mi nd
( Ba ba ba ba anyt i me)
Ooh r ecommended at t he pr i ce
( Recommended at t he pr i ce)
I nsat i abl e i n appet i t e
( I nsat i abl e i n appet i t e Wanna t r y?)

Over t he i nst r ument al br eak t he super yuppi es dance i n a
r obot i c l i ke manner , at t he cl i max of t he i nst r ument al , The
KI LLER QUEEN emer ges, she i s t he boss, t he SEXY super power
bi t ch yuppi e t o end al l sexy super power bi t ch yuppi es.
Ther e i s massi ve el ect r oni c cheer i ng as she pi cks up t he
song.

KI LLER QUEEN
To avoi d compl i cat i ons
I never kept t he same addr ess
I n conver sat i on
I e- mai l l i ke a Bar oness
Met a man f r omChi na
( ooh)
Went down t o Gei sha Mi nor
( A ki l l er )
But t hen agai n i nci dent al l y
( A ki l l er )
I f you' r e t hat way i ncl i ned
( She' s a Ki l l er Queen)
Per f ume came vi r t ual l y f r omPar i s
( Vi r t ual l y)
For car s I coul dn' t car e l ess
Fast i di ous and pr eci se
Ki l l er Queen pr eens her sel f as t hey ador e her .

KI LLER QUEEN ( cont ' d)
I ' ma Ki l l er Queen
( She' s a)
Gun powder , gel at i ne
Dynami t e wi t h a Laser beam
Guar ant eed t o bl ow your mi nd
( ba ba ba ba any t i me)
Dr op of a hat I ' mas wi l l i ng as
Pl ayf ul as a pussycat
( ooh)
Then moment ar i l y out of act i on
Tempor ar i l y out of gas
( ooh)
To absol ut el y dr i ve you wi l d
( Da da Dr i ve you wi l d wi l d)
I ' mal l out t o get you
Khashoggi appear s on t he vi deo scr een.

KI LLER QUEEN ( cont ' d)
Commander Khashoggi !
KHASHOGGI
You scr eamed f or me ma ' am

KI LLER QUEEN ( cont ' d)
The Gl obal sof t boar d and I have been
di scussi ng your r ecent secur i t y memo.
We want answer s. What of t he ol d
l i br ar i an you have been t or t ur i ng? Do
you t ake t he t ext s whi ch he di scover ed
ser i ousl y?

KHASHOGGI
Yes Ma' am, I ' maf r ai d t hat I do.

The yuppi es al l gasp

KHASHOGGI ( cont ' d)
The l egend cl ear l y st at es t hat musi cal
i nst r ument s st i l l exi st somewher e on
Pl anet Mal l . At t he pl ace of
champi ons, hi dden wi t hi n t he l i vi ng
r ock.

YUPPI E CHORUS
Oh No!

KHASHOGGI
Oh Yes!

KI LLER QUEEN
Rock! . . . But whi ch r ock and wher e? The
whol e damn pl anet ' s a r ock i f you
di dn' t know.

YUPPI E CHORUS
Ha Ha Ha!

KI LLER QUEEN
And what of t hi s ' shi ni ng st ar ' t hat
i s supposed t o gui de us? I have had
t he company' s f i nest ast r onomer s
combi ng t he heavens f or mont hs. Ther e
i s no new st ar .

KHASHOGGI
cer t ai nl y.

KI LLER QUEEN
Wel l st ar or no st ar . I i nt end t o
bl ast ever y r ock on Pl anet Mal l t o
smi t her eens j ust i n case. St onehenge!
Mount Rushmor e! The f amed Vi ct or i a
Beckhambel l y but t on di amond! I f t hese
gr i mt ool s of f r eedomdo exi st , I
shal l f i nd t hem.


Yuppi es cl ap t hr ee t i mes.

KI LLER QUEEN ( cont ' d)
Two mor e.

Yuppi es cl ap t wi ce.

KHASHOGGI
As al ways Ma' amyou l eave me l i mp wi t h
exci t ement .

KI LLER QUEEN
Wat ch i t or I ' l l l eave you st i f f wi t h
r i gor mor t i s!

Khashoggi di sappear s f r omt he scr een.

KI LLER QUEEN ( cont ' d)
And now l et us r et ur n t o t he r eal
busi ness of Gl obal sof t . The busi ness
of t he compl et e appr opr i at i on of t he
i magi nat i on of ever y ki d on Pl anet
Mal l . Take a memo! Emai l t o al l
consumer s pl anet wi de " Dear ever ybody
i n t he wor l d. Get on l i ne you pl easur e
seeker s! And downl oad t he Ki l l er Queen

Ki l l er Queen and t he company si ng PLAY THE GAME.

I t i s a hi ghl y sexy, seduct i ve, si ni st er song and dance i n
whi ch t hese super yuppi es gl or y i n t hei r power .

Whi l st t hey si ng, t hei r wor l d i s f i l l ed wi t h comput er
i mager y.

Massi ve scr eens show gl or i ous Kung Fu ki cki ng Super Gi r l s,
Raci ng car s cr ashi ng, Monst er s st al ki ng t he Ear t h, al l t he
second hand f ant asi es of comput er gr aphi c ar t i st s. . . Dur i ng
t he chor us' s of t he song t hese cyber i mages cease t hei r
endl ess ci r cul ar f i ght i ng, t ur n, f ace out war ds and j oi n i n.

KI LLER QUEEN ( cont ' d)
Open your mi nd and l et me st ep i nsi de
Rest your wear y head and l et your hear t deci de
I t ' s so easy when you know t he r ul es
( I t ' s so easy)
I t ' s so easy al l you have do
( I t ' s so easy)
I s f al l i n l ove
Pl ay t he game
( Pl ay t he game)
Ever ybody pl ay t he game of l ove yeah
( Ever ybody pl ay t he game)
When you' r e f eel i ng down and your r esi st ance i s l ow
Take a cyber shoppi ng t r i p and l et your sel f go
( Let your sel f go)
Gi ve me your l i f e
( Gi ve me your l i f e)
don' t pl ay har d t o get
I t ' s a f r ee wor l d, al l you have t o do
( I t ' s a f r ee wor l d)
I s f al l i n l ove
Pl ay t he game Yeah!
( Pl ay t he game)
Ever ybody pl ay t he game
( Ever ybody pl ay t he game)
Of l ove ooh yeah
( Of l ove)
My game of l ove has j ust begun
Love r uns f r ommy head down t o your t oes
( Love r uns f r ommy head down t o your t oes)
My l ove i s pumpi ng t hr ough your vei ns
( Pl ay t he game)
Dr i vi ng you i nsane Oh
( Come come come come)

KI LLER QUEEN AND THE YUPPI ES
Pl ay t he game
Pl ay t he game
Pl ay t he game
Pl ay t he game

( I nst r ument al )
Gi ve me your l i f e, don' t pl ay har d t o get
I t ' s a f r ee, f r ee wor l d, al l you have t o do
I s f al l i n l ove yeah
( Pl ay t he game) , ever ybody pl ay my game

KI LLER QUEEN
Of l ove, of l ove
Love, of l ove, of l ove
At t he end of t hi s cor por at e l ove f est t he super yuppi es
al l appl aud.
At t hi s moment of camp, semi f asci st i c t r i umph f or Ki l l er
Queen t he Gl obal sof t boar d meet i ng i s pl unged i nt o
dar kness. . . . .

SCENE FOUR. THE LASER CELL.
Now we hear t he voi ce of t he Khashoggi , si ni st er and scar y
t hr ough t he dar kness.

KHASHOGGI
We f ound your l apt op boy. We have r ead
t he not es you keep.
Now we see Gal i l eo al one on st age, st i l l t r apped i n t he
cel l made of l aser beambar s. He snar l s back i nt o t he
dar kness.

Khashoggi emer ges f r omt he dar kness, GALI LEO can not see
hi m, but can hear hi m.

GALI LEO
So pi gs can r ead. You' l l be f l yi ng
next .

KHASHOGGI
What does " A wop bop a l oo bop a l op
bammboom" mean?

GALI LEO
I sn' t i t obvi ous? I t means " A wop bop
a l oo bop a l op b- bammboom" .

KHASHOGGI
Do you r eal l y have a gi r l named Dai sy
who al most dr i ves you cr azy?

Now Gal i l eo can see Khashoggi , he t aunt s t he pol i ceman.

GALI LEO
Of cour se! And she knows how t o l ove
me, yes i ndeed, boy you don' t know
what ' s she' s doi ng t o me.

Khashoggi ci r cl es Gal i l eo' s cage.

KHASHOGGI
Then wher e i s she? What i s her E Mai l
addr ess? How does she l ove you? How
does she dr i ve you cr azy? I s she a
dr ug pusher ?

Gal i l eo l aughs; i t i s al most as i f he want s a
conf r ont at i on.

GALI LEO
You' r e madder t han I amPi g! Ther e i s
no gi r l named Dai sy. I wi sh t her e was!
I j ust wr ot e i t , t hat ' s al l , i t
appear ed i n my head!

KHASHOGGI
Don' t pl ay games wi t h me boy! I ' l l
make you wi sh you' d never been bor n at
al l .

Suddenl y Gal i l eo' s br i t t l e humour l eaves hi mand he shout s
i n angui sh.

GALI LEO
Don' t you t hi nk I wi sh t hat ever y day!

A cop emer ges t o quest i on Gal i l eo.

FI RST COP
Wher e i s Penny Lane?

A second cop appear s.

SECOND COP
What ar e t he St r awber r y Fi el ds?

KHASHOGGI
" Under gr ound, over gr ound Wombl i ng
f r ee. . . . . " Tel l me boy, who ar e Ti nky
Wi nky, Di psy La- La and Po? And why do
t hey say ' Eh Oh' ?

GALI LEO
I wi sh I knew! Oh sweet mot her I wi sh
I knew. . .
Gal i l eo' s conf usi on and angui sh ar e
pai nf ul t o see; he al most weeps.

The cops exchange si gni f i cant gl ances.

KHASHOGGI
Gal i l eo, do you know, what . . . . a
Bohemi an i s?

GALI LEO
Haven' t you got i t yet ? I don' t know
what anyt hi ng i s.

KHASHOGGI
Excel l ent . I t hi nk we' ve f ound you
j ust i n t i me.

ent er .

DOCTOR ONE
The Seven Seas of Rhye, Commander ?

KHASHOGGI
Oh no, dear me not yet . Soon, yes. But
f i r st , f i r st I t hi nk t hi s boy wi l l
have hi s uses.
Gal i l eo i s t aken away as a bur st of el ect r oni c i nt er f er ence
f i l l s t he ai r . Khashoggi speaks i nt o hi s Pal mPi l ot

KHASHOGGI ( cont ' d)
Khashoggi t o Ki l l er Queen. . . . .

SCENE FI VE. POLI CE HQ

The Ki l l er Queen addr esses Khashoggi f r omscr eens.

KHASHOGGI .
Good news Ma' am.

KI LLER QUEEN
I t had bet t er be, I ' mhavi ng my dai l y
bi ki ni wax. . . Pul l !

SFX of wax bei ng pul l ed of f

KI LLER QUEEN ( cont ' d)
Ahhhhhhh! . . . . . . So?

KHASHOGGI
I bel i eve t hat t he l ast r emai ni ng
r ebel s wi l l soon be wi t hi n my
cl ut ches.

KI LLER QUEEN
Then you must cr ush t hemwi t hout
mer cy.

KHASHOGGI .
My my Ma' am. You ar e an eager beaver .


KI LLER QUEEN
You l eave my eager beaver out of t hi s.
We wer e di scussi ng dest r oyi ng t he
r ebel s.

KHASHOGGI .
I advi se di scr et i on Ma' amt he l ast
t hi ng we want t o do i s wor r y t he Ga Ga
ki ds. Par t i cul ar l y now, wi t h Summer
upon us once mor e.

KI LLER QUEEN
Ther e ar e no seasons i n t he vi r t ual
wor l d Commander .

KHASHOGGI .
Not on l i ne Ma' am. But sadl y t he
physi cal wor l d st i l l exi st s. I t ' s hot
out t her e, hot and edgy. The r i ver s
ar e dr yi ng up, t he pol ar i ce- caps ar e
mel t i ng and t he r esi st ance i s gr owi ng.

KI LLER QUEEN
The Bohemi ans.

KHASHOGGI .
Of cour se.

KI LLER QUEEN
( sadl y)
Who ar e t hese peopl e? What do t hey
want ?

KHASHOGGI
They want i t al l Ma' am. And t hey want
i t now. They want . . . . . t hei r Rhapsody.

Gener al shock at t he use of t hi s t er m.

KI LLER QUEEN
That i s a pr oscr i bed wor d Commander ,
no such st at e of bei ng exi st s.

KHASHOGGI .
Not yet Ma' am.

KI LLER QUEEN
Not ever ! The Bohemi an Rhapsody i s a
myt h! A myt h do you hear me! Have you
not r epor t ed t hat t he euphor i a t hey
seek can onl y be unl eashed t hr ough
musi c! Real , l i ve, Rock and Rol l Musi c!

KHASHOGGI
That i s what t hey bel i eve Ma' am.

KI LLER QUEEN
Then t her e wi l l be no Rhapsody, f or
t her e ar e no i nst r ument s l ef t on
Pl anet Mal l and t he ki ds wi l l never ,
ever make t hei r own musi c agai n! PULL!

We hear t he sound of t he vi deo bei ng di sconnect ed as t he
Ki l l er Queen and Khashoggi di sappear .

SCENE SI X. THE HOSPI TAL.

Gal i l eo i s on a hospi t al bed, hi s head i s bandaged. He
st ar t s t o t r y and di scover wher e he i s. He sees Scar amouche
on anot her bed, her head i s al so bandaged, she t oo i s
di sor i ent at ed.

GALI LEO
Hey, G- G- G- Ga Ga gi r l . Who ar e you?

Scar amouche i s, as al ways har d and def ensi ve.

SCARAMOUCHE
I ai n' t no Ga Ga Gi r l , and I don' t
answer quest i ons. Who ar e you?

GALI LEO
I ' m. . . . I don' t know who I am.

SCARAMOUCHE
Oh gr eat .

GALI LEO
( pr oudl y)
But my name i s Gal i l eo Fi gar o.

SCARAMOUCHE
Cool name.

GALI LEO
Thank you.

SCARAMOUCHE
I wasn' t bei ng ser i ous. Mi nd i f I
shor t en i t ?

GALI LEO
Wel l , I suppose Gal i l eo woul d be. . . .

SCARAMOUCHE
So Gazzer , t el l me, why wer e you
ar r est ed?

GALI LEO
Because I hear sounds i n my head,
wor ds and sounds. I ' mmad you see.

SCARAMOUCHE
I was ar r est ed because t hey don' t l i ke
t he way I dr ess.

GALI LEO
I t hi nk you dr ess beaut i f ul l y.

SCARAMOUCHE
That ' s ni ce, except comi ng f r oma sel f
conf essed nut t er . . . not ! What sounds
do you hear ?

GALI LEO
I don' t know.

SCARAMOUCHE
Do you know anyt hi ng?

GALI LEO
Yes, I know t hat I ' mdi f f er ent . Whi ch
i s why t he cl ones f r omt he Boy zone
hat e me.

SCARAMOUCHE
The Ga Ga gi r l s hat e me.

GALI LEO
Do you know why t hey hat e you?

SCARAMOUCHE
Yeah, t hey t hi nk I ' ma l esbi an because
I don' t wear past el s.

GALI LEO
They hat e you because t hey' r e scar ed
of you, because you' r e di f f er ent ,
you' r e an i ndi vi dual .

SCARAMOUCHE
What do you t hi nk t hey di d t o us?

GALI LEO
I don' t know.

SCARAMOUCHE
Do you t hi nk t hey' l l ever gi ve up and
l eave us al one?

GALI LEO
Don' t you see? We' r e a t hr eat .
The openi ng bass l i ne of UNDER PRESSURE begi ns
GALI LEO( cont ' d)
A vi r us on t hei r har d dr i ve and t hey
won' t gi ve up unt i l t hey' ve poi nt ed
t hei r l i t t l e ar r ow at us.

SCARAMOUCHE
And dr agged us t o t r ash.

Toget her t hey si ng UNDER PRESSURE.

GALI LEO AND SCARAMOUCHE
Pr essur e. Pushi ng down on me
Pr essi ng down on you no man asked f or
Under pr essur e

GALI LEO
That bur ns a bui l di ng down
Spl i t s a f ami l y i n t wo

SCARAMOUCHE
Put s peopl e on st r eet s
Boombah bah bay boombah bah bay

GALI LEO
Do day oh Do day oh

SCARAMOUCHE
That ' s ok

GALI LEO
That ' s t he t er r or of knowi ng
What t hi s wor l d i s about

SCARAMOUCHE
Wat chi ng some good f r i ends scr eami ng " l et me out ! "

GALI LEO AND SCARAMOUCHE
" Let me out ! "

GALI LEO
Pr ay t omor r ow get s me hi gher

GALI LEO AND SCARAMOUCHE
Pr essur e on peopl e, peopl e on st r eet s

Day day dep Ooh ooh da da da bop bop

SCARAMOUCHE
Okay Mm

GALI LEO
Chi ppi n' ar ound, ki ck my br ai ns ar ound t he f l oor
These ar e t he days i t never r ai ns but i t pour s

SCARAMOUCHE
Mmm

GALI LEO
De doh dah doh de de doh dah dah mmdah doh ba l a l op

SCARAMOUCHE
Oh

GALI LEO
Peopl e on st r eet s
De dah de dah day
Peopl e on st r eet s
De dah de dah de dah de dah
I t ' s t he t er r or of knowi ng what t hi s wor l d i s about
Wat chi ng some good f r i ends scr eami ng " Let me out ! "

GALI LEO AND SCARAMOUCHE
" Let me out ! "

GALI LEO
Pr ay t omor r ow get s me hi gher , hi gher , hi gher

SCARAMOUCHE
Pr essur e on peopl e, peopl e on st r eet s

GALI LEO AND SCARAMOUCHE
Tur ned away f r omi t al l l i ke a bl i nd man
Sat on a f ence but i t don' t wor k

GALI LEO
Keep comi ng up wi t h l ove but i t ' s so sl ashed and t or n

SCARAMOUCHE
Why? Why?

GALI LEO
Why?

SCARAMOUCHE
Love, l ove, l ove, l ove

GALI LEO
I nsani t y l aughs under pr essur e we' r e cr acki ng

SCARAMOUCHE
Can' t we gi ve our sel ves one mor e chance?

GALI LEO
Why can' t we gi ve l ove t hat one mor e chance?

SCARAMOUCHE
Why can' t we gi ve l ove, gi ve l ove, gi ve l ove, gi ve l ove,
gi ve l ove, gi ve l ove, gi ve l ove, gi ve l ove, gi ve l ove?

GALI LEO
Cause l ove' s such an ol d- f ashi oned wor d

GALI LEO AND SCARAMOUCHE
And l ove dar es you t o car e f or t he peopl e
on t he edge of t he ni ght
And l ove dar es you t o change our way of
car i ng about our sel ves
Thi s i s our l ast chance
Thi s i s our l ast dance

GALI LEO
Thi s i s our sel ves

SCARAMOUCHE
Under pr essur e

GALLI LEO AND SCARAMOUCHE
Under pr essur e
Pr essur e

At t he end of t he song t hey ar e about t o embr ace but t hen
get sel f consci ous r el easi ng t hey have near l y got car r i ed
away. They br eak apar t i n adol escent conf usi on.

SCARAMOUCHE
So wher e do we go?

Gal i l eo i s changi ng. Meet i ng Scar amouche has put some l ead
i n hi s penci l ; he i s l ess t ense and ner vous, mor e
st r ut t i ng.

GALI LEO
Out i nt o t he ni ght ! Down on t he
st r eet s! We' r e r ebel s now, cos Baby we
wer e bor n t o r un.

SCARAMOUCHE
Don' t cal l me baby!

Gal i l eo i sn' t qui t e gr own up yet , he i s i mmedi at el y hi s ol d
conf used sel f .

GALI LEO
Sor r y, i t ' s j ust a phr ase I hear d i n
my head.

SCARAMOUCHE
Yeah?

GALI LEO
Yeah.

SCARAMOUCHE
Wel l keep i t t her e.

Gal i l eo and Scar amouche r un of f . . . . .
We hear t he sound of a huge expl osi on.

SCENE SEVEN. KI LLER QUEEN' S CONTROL ROOM.
The Ki l l er Queen and Khashoggi wi t h a Yuppi e i n at t endance
ar r i ve t hr ough t he t r ap wear i ng har d hat s.

KHASHOGGI
Wel l Madam, we have now pul ver i sed
ever y r ock on pl anet mal l and not a
si ngl e i nst r ument of mass dest r uct i on
has been f ound. The l egend i s a myt h
or i f you pr ef er t he myt h i s a l egend.

KI LLER QUEEN
I l i ke i t bot h ways.
KHASHOGGI
So I ' ve hear d ma' am.


KI LLER QUEEN
We' ve won Khashoggi . The Bohemi ans
wi l l never achi eve t hei r r hapsody.

KHASHOGGI
Wi t h r espect Ma' amt he Bohemi ans
r emai n danger ous, al l t hey need i s a
l eader . That ' s al l i t t akes. One young
soul r ebel , one cr azy ki d wi t h a
dr eam, a gui t ar and a bad ar sed babe
t o f i ght f or .

KI LLER QUEEN
Coul d such a her o exi st ?

KHASHOGGI
Oh but he al r eady does Ma' am, t hough
he doesn' t know i t . He does not know
hi msel f at al l , but I do. I ' ve al ways
had a t al ent f or spot t i ng pot ent i al .

KI LLER QUEEN
And cr ushi ng i t .

KHASHOGGI
That i s my j ob Ma' am. And wi t h t he
l ast dr eamext i ngui shed t her e wi l l be
not hi ng l ef t on Pl anet Mal l but
ent i r el y unt r ammel l ed mar ket i ng and
compl et el y uncr i t i cal consumer s. Put
t hemt oget her and what do you get ?

KI LLER QUEEN
Al chemy Khashoggi , pur e al chemy.

Khashoggi and t he Ki l l er Queen si ng I T' S A KI ND OF MAGI C.

KI LLER QUEEN ( CONT' D)
( cont ' d)
One dr eam, one soul , one pr i ze, one goal
One gol den gl ance of what shoul d be

CHORUS
I t ' s a ki nd of magi c

KHASHOGGI
One shaf t of l i ght t hat shows t he way
No mor t al man can wi n t he day

CHORUS
I t ' s a ki nd of magi c

KHASHOGGI
The bel l t hat r i ngs i nsi de your mi nd
I t ' s chal l engi ng t he door s of t i me

KI LLER QUEEN
The wai t i ng seemed et er ni t y
( Ah- ooh)
The day has dawned of sani t y
( Ah ah ooh)

KI LLER QUEEN AND KHASHOGGI
I s t hi s a ki nd of magi c?

CHORUS
I t ' s a ki nd of magi c

KI LLER QUEEN AND KHASHOGGI
Ther e can be onl y one

KHASHOGGI
Thi s dr eamwi l l l ast a t housand year s
( Aah)

KI LLER QUEEN AND KHASHOGGI
We wi l l l i ve on

KI LLER QUEEN
Thi s f l ame t hat bur ns i nsi de of me
I ' mhear i ng secr et har moni es

CHORUS
I t ' s a ki nd of magi c

KI LLER QUEEN
I r i ng t he bel l i nsi de t hei r mi nds

KI LLER QUEEN AND KHASHOGGI
We' r e chal l engi ng t he door s of t i me

CHORUS
I t ' s a ki nd of magi c
I t ' s a ki nd of magi c

KI LLER QUEEN
Thi s i s a ki nd of magi c
( Thi s i s a ki nd of magi c)

KHASHOGGI
Ther e can be onl y one
( Ther e can be onl y one)

KI LLER QUEEN AND KHASHOGGI
Thi s quest t hat shapes a t housand year s
( Aah)

KI LLER QUEEN
Wi l l soon be

KHASHOGGI
Wi l l soon be
( Ooh)

KI LLER QUEEN
Wi l l soon be

KHASHOGGI
Wi l l soon be

KI LLER QUEEN AND KHASHOGGI
Wi l l soon be done
( Aah)

ALL
Now we ar e ONE

Ki l l er Queen and Khashoggi f ade i nt o dar kness

SCENE EI GHT. A WASTELAND.

Voi ces ar e hear d f r omt he sewer s.

BRI TNEY VOI CE
I t hi nk i t ' s cl ear up t her e Meat

MEAT VOI CE
Ar e you sur e t he cops have gone?

BRI TNEY VOI CE
I ' mgoi ng t o t he sur f ace.

MEAT VOI CE
Be car ef ul ! I ' mcomi ng up t oo. . . . . .

Br i t ney and Meat emer ge wear i l y, wat chi ng out f or cops.

BRI TNEY VOI CE
No! You ar e so st ubbor n.

MEAT VOI CE
Yeahhhhhhh! But t hat ' s why you l ove
me!

BRI TNEY
Al r i ght ! So what we got ?

MEAT
Wel l not much, i t ' s mai nl y pl ast i c and
hydr ocar bons. But t her e' s a sheet of
t i n t hat we can wobbl e.

BRI TNEY
Yeah.

MEAT
And some pebbl es t hat make a ni ce
r at t l e.

BRI TNEY
Cool .

MEAT
A bot t l e t o bl ow acr oss.

BRI TNEY

MEAT
And t hi s gr eat wi r e t o t wang.

BRI TNEY
Sweet sweet musi c. . . . I f onl y we coul d
f i nd anot her bi t of wood t o bang
agai nst t he one we' ve got .

MEAT
Yeah. Oh you naught y boy, I t hi nk I ' ve
f ound a ni ce bi g pi ece of wood r i ght
her e.

BRI TNEY
Don' t change t he subj ect ! Your j ob i s
t o t ake t hi s st uf f back t o The
Hear t br eak.

MEAT
But Br i t . . . .

BRI TNEY
I t r avel al one, you know t hat . I
can' t do t he t hi ngs I have t o do i f
al l I ' mt hi nki ng about i s you.

Meat knows t hat she must l et Br i t go.

MEAT
Somet i mes I wi sh you di dn' t car e so
much. Somet i mes I wi sh we' d never even
hear d of t he vi be.

BRI TNEY
You don' t mean t hat .

MEAT
No. . . . I suppose not but I mi ss you so
much baby. I t ' s t ougher ever y t i me you
go away.

BRI TNEY
I ' l l be back. I al ways come back. And
one day I ' l l br i ng t he Dr eamer wi t h
me.

MEAT
Somet i mes I t hi nk i t ' s us t hat ' s
dr eami ng, but per haps t he musi c r eal l y
di d di e.

BRI TNEY
I t ' s onl y sl eepi ng baby. I t ' s i n a
deep deep sl eep. I t won' t be me t hat
wakes i t , but maybe one day I ' l l f i nd
t he man who can.

Meat t akes hi s hand

MEAT
Oh Br i t . . . . .

Musi c st ar t s f or I want i t al l

BRI TNEY
And i f I coul d j ust f i nd t he l ost
vi be, wel l t hen we coul d shar e our
l ove wi t h t he whol e wor l d. And you
know what we' d get t hen don' t you. . . .
We' d get i t al l .

Br i t ney and Meat si ng I WANT I T ALL. Tbey ar e accompani ed
i n t he chor us by t he massed chor us of f ut ur e l i ber at ed
yout h ( of f st age) .

BRI TNEY ( cont ' d)
Advent ur e seeker on an empt y st r eet
J ust an al l ey cr eeper l i ght on hi s f eet
A young f i ght er scr eami ng wi t h no t i me f or doubt
Wi t h t he pai n and anger can' t see a way out
I t ai n' t much I ' maski ng, I hear d hi msay
Al l I want i s a f ut ur e, move out t a my way
I want i t al l
I want i t al l
I want i t al l and I want i t now!

YOUTH
I want i t al l
I want i t al l
I want i t al l and I want i t now

MEAT
Li st en al l you peopl e, come gat her r ound
I got t a get me a game pl an, got t a shake you t o t he gr ound
J ust gi ve me oh what I know i s mi ne
Peopl e do you hear me? J ust gi ve me t he si gn
I t ai n' t much I ' maski ng i f you want t he t r ut h
Her e' s t o t he f ut ur e f or t he dr eams of yout h!

BRI TNEY AND MEAT ( AND YOUTH)
I want i t al l
I want i t al l
I want i t al l and I want i t now
I want i t al l
I want i t al l
I want i t al l

MEAT
I want i t now
( And I want i t )

BRI TNEY
Two hear t s wi t h a one t r ack mi nd
So much t o do i n one l i f e t i me

YOUTH
Peopl e do you hear me?

MEAT
Not a t i me f or compr omi se
and wher e' s and why' s and l i vi ng l i es

BRI TNEY
So I ' ml i vi n i t al l

MEAT
Yes I ' ml i vi n i t al l

BRI TNEY
And I ' mgi vi n i t al l

MEAT
and I ' mgi vi ng i t al l !

BRI TNEY
( Spoken)
I magi ne i t Meat , t he whol e wor l d
j oi ni ng i n?

MEAT
( Spoken)
Thousands of peopl e i n f r ont of us!

BRI TNEY
( Spoken)
Rows and r ows of t hem!

MEAT
( Spoken)
Wi t h t hei r hands i n t he ai r .

BRI TNEY AND YOUTH
I want i t al l
I want i t al l
I want i t al l and I want i t now

BRI TNEY AND MEAT AND YOUTH
I want i t al l - I can hear t hem!
I want i t al l - The ki ds ar e wi t h us!
I want i t al l and I want i t now - They' r e back!

BRI TNEY AND MEAT
Yeah
Yeah
Ooh I want i t al l

YOUTH
{I want i t al l }
{I want i t al l }
{I want i t al l }
{I want i t now } Under scor e t o ' Yeah Yeah'
{I want i t al l }
{I want i t al l }
{I want i t al l }

YOUTH ( cont ' d)
I want i t

BRI TNEY

MEAT
I want i t

BRI TNEY AND MEAT
I want i t NOW!
( NOW! )
I want i t ALL!

They hear someone comi ng. Br i t ney gr abs hi s bag. . . . . Qui ckl y
t hey hi de i n t he van. . . . Gal i l eo and Scar amouche ent er . . . . .

Thei r ent r ance shoul d r ef l ect t hei r gr owi ng conf i dence and
r ebel st at us, per haps t hey spi n i n on wi r es. They ar e bot h
ver y exci t ed wi t h t hei r new f ound f r eedom.

GALI LEO
I know I t al k about mysel f al ot but
hey t her e' s al ot t o say. . . al l my l i f e,
al l my l i f e I ' ve f el t t hat I have a
sor t of pur pose, a speci al dest i ny.
That has t o mean somet hi ng, sur el y.

SCARAMOUCHE
I t does, t hat you' r e an ar r ogant , sel f
i mpor t ant ar sehol e. What speci al
dest i ny?

GALI LEO
I t ' s t o do wi t h t he st uf f I dr eam. The
phr ases, t hey al ways come back t o t he
same t hi ng, I see a gr eat wi de space
and peopl e, peopl e ever ywher e, and
noi se, huge, huge noi se! And t hen
comes t he wor ds. . .

SCARAMOUCHE
What wor ds?

GALI LEO
" Seek sal vat i on i n t he pl ace of l i vi ng
r ock. . . A br i ght br i ght st ar wi l l show
t he way. . . . go t o wher e t he Champi ons
pl ayed"

SCARAMOUCHE
Sounds l i ke bol l ocks t o me.

GALI LEO
Maybe. I t hi nk I dr eamt a name f or
you, you know.
SCARAMOUCHE
How woul d you do t hat ? You onl y met me
t oday.

GALI LEO
I al ways knew I ' d meet you, t hat t her e
was anot her Rebel Rebel out t her e,
anot her Wi l d Thi ng.

SCARAMOUCHE
OK, so what do you want t o cal l me?

GALI LEO
( Pr oudl y)
Scar amouche.

SCARAMOUCHE
Scar amouche?. . . . Don' t you t hi nk. . .
t hat ' s a bi t . . . . Cr ap.

GALI LEO
Wel l I dr eamt some ot her s but f r ankl y
I t hought t hat was t he best .

SCARAMOUCHE
What wer e t he ot her s?

GALI LEO
Long Tal l Sal l y, Honky Tonk Woman,
Lucy I n t he Sky wi t h Di amonds or Fat
Bot t omed Gi r l .

SCARAMOUCHE
OK, I ' l l t ake
Scar amouche. . . . Scar amouche. . . .
Act ual l y, I ki nd of l i ke i t , i t
sounds. . . anar chi c. . . al most l i ke,
l i ke what I t hi nk t hey used t o cal l a
t une.

Thi s comment st r i kes a chor d wi t h Gal i l eo, he r emember s t he
wor ds f r omhi s dr eam.

GALI LEO
A t une, yes.
Scar amouche. . . Scar amouche, wi l l you
do t he f andango. . .

SCARAMOUCHE
Ar e you t r yi ng t o get i nt o my pant s?

GALI LE0
No!

SCARAMOUCHE
Then what ' s doi ng t he f andango?

GALI LEO
I t hi nk. . . per haps i t ' s. . . danci ng.

SCARAMOUCHE
You mean Ga Ga Moves? Ugh, excuse me
whi l e I puke. Gl obal sof t wr i t e t he
song and wor k out t he st eps t hen ever y
ki d on Pl anet Mal l does exact l y t he
same t hi ng.

GALI LEO
I t hi nk t hat maybe t her e was a t i me
when danci ng wasn' t l i ke t hat , when i t
was. . . f r ee. ( BO RAP hear d agai n)
Ki nd of i ndi vi dual l y expr essi ve.

Agai n Gal i l eo i s al most speaki ng t hi ngs he does not know,
we hear t he f ai nt est gui t ar br eak and GALI LEO st r i kes a
cl assi c Fr eddi e ar mi n t he ai r pose. Then i n hi s mi nd he
hear s t he cr azy GUI TAR BI T f r omBO RAP and he f r eaks out
f or a moment , hi ppy danci ng wi t h a bi t of St at us Quo st yl e
post ur i ng. . . . Agai n Scar amouche ( who unl i ke t he audi ence,
has not hear d t he musi c) i s not i mpr essed.

SCARAMOUCHE
I don' t t hi nk I ' ve ever seen anyt hi ng
qui t e so embar r assi ng i n my l i f e.

GALI LEO
I t l ooks bet t er when I ' mhol di ng a
t enni s r acket

SCARAMOUCHE
I t woul d have t o.

GALI LEO
Wel l per haps doi ng t he f andango i s
j ust about bei ng f r i ends.

Gal i l eo i s f i nal l y get t i ng t hr ough Scar a' s shel l .

SCARAMOUCHE
Fr i ends? I . . . I ' ve never had a f r i end.

GALI LEO
What . . . and you wi t h your wi nni ng
ways!

SCARAMOUCHE
But I al ways t hought I ' d l i ke one.
Thi s i s a si gi f i cant moment , Scar mouche bei ng ni ce.

GALI LEO
So ar e we f r i ends t hen?

SCARAMOUCHE
I f you want .

GALI LEO
I do! I r eal l y do!

SCARAMOUCHE
Wel l t hen, OK. We' r e f r i ends.

GALI LEO
Thi s i s so cool .
They ar e dr i f t i ng i nt o a ki ss. . . But j ust as Gal i l eo i s
about t o enf ol d Scar a i n hi s ar ms, she pul l s away.
Meat and Br i t ney appear f r omt he van.

MEAT
Let ' s get t hem!

Meat advances on Scar amouche. Scar amouche r esponds wi t h a
kar at e move. Meat t hen pul l s a f l i ck kni f e out on her . . .

SCARAMOUCHE
Oh.

MEAT
Tal k qui ck bi t ch wher e di d your boy
f r i end get t he wor ds!

SCARAMOUCHE
What wor ds?

MEAT
He cal l s you Scar amouche! He' s r ead
t he f r agment s! He knows t he Hol y Text !

GALI LEO
I don' t know any Hol y Text . I don' t
know what you' r e t al ki ng about !

BRI TNEY
" Long Tal l Sal l y" " Honky Tonk Woman"
. . . . The wor ds man, t he wor ds f r omt he
past .

MEAT
You' ve seen t he f r agment s, you' ve been
t o t he Hear t br eak Hot el ! You' r e a spy.

GALI LEO
I sai d I don' t know what you' r e
t al ki ng about . I j ust hear t hi ngs i n
my mi nd t hat ' s al l !

BRI TNEY
Who ar e you!

Gal i l eo i s agai n consumed wi t h angui sh.

GALI LEO
I don' t know! Why do peopl e keep
aski ng me t hat ! I amt he Wal r us! I ' m
j ust a Teenage Di r t Bag baby. Do you
hear t he dr ums Fer nando? I amt he
Danci ng Queen.

Meat and Br i t ney exchange gl ances, t hi s i s ver y st r ange.

BRI TNEY
You. . . j ust hear t hese wor ds? I n your
head?

GALI LEO
Yes, I don' t know wher e t hey come
f r om, i t dr i ves me mad, al l t hese
phr ases and sounds, st upi d, usel ess
phr ases and quest i ons, so many
quest i ons. Why do Fool s Fal l i n Love?
Who was The Real Sl i mShady? Do you
Thi nk I ' mSexy? Who l et t he dogs out ?
Who who- who who? I t ' s t or t ur e, al l I
know, and I don' t know why I know i t ,
i s t hat I r eal l y r eal l y r eal l y want t o
Zi g a Zi g Ah.

Br i t ney and Meat ar e t ense wi t h exci t ement .

BRI TNEY
Meat . . . . we' ve f ound hi m. Thi s dude i s
t he one. He' s The Man.

MEAT
I say he' s a spy.

BRI TNEY
No, he' s t he Dr eamer , t he one we' ve
been wai t i ng f or , t hi s i s hi m.

MEAT
Test hi m. . . and hi s chi ck.

SCARAMOUCHE
Hi s" chi ck" ? What amI now, poul t r y?

GALI LEO
I don' t have t o pr ove mysel f t o you.

MEAT
Test hi m!

Br i t ney and Meat check once mor e t o see t hat t hey ar e
al one. Then Br i t ney begi ns t o si ng, unaccompani ed.

BRI TNEY
Mama. J ust ki l l ed a man.
Put a gun agai nst hi s head. Pul l ed t he t r i gger .
Now he' s dead.

Br i t ney st ops and poi nt s t o Gal i l eo. Ther e i s BI G MAGI C i n
t he ai r . . . t he l i ght i ng changes.

Br i t ney and Meat st ar e har d at Gal i l eo. Thi s i s a st r angel y
char ged moment . . . . Now t he l i ght shi nes on Gal i l eo who
begi ns t o si ng, he i s scar ed and t ent at i ve, al so
unaccompani ed.

GALI LEO
Mama, l i f e has j ust begun
But now I ' ve gone and t hr own i t al l away. . . .
Br i t ney and Meat ar e al most i n awe.

BRI TNEY
He knows t he t ext , but he never r ead
i t ! He' s t he man.

Meat t ur ns on Gal i l eo.

MEAT
Then what does i t mean! Tel l us! Who
i s Mama? Who' s been ki l l ed? Why has i t
al l been t hr own away!

GALI LEO
I don' t know!

MEAT
We' ve been sear chi ng f or t he meani ng
al l our l i ves.

GALI LEO
I t el l you I don' t know! I j ust . . .
hear t he wor ds, t hat ' s al l .

Gal i l eo si ngs agai n, now hi s voi ce i s st r ong and conf i dent .
St i l l he i s unaccompani ed.

GALI LEO ( CONT' D) ( cont ' d)
Mama Ooooh.

Br i t ney and Meat have made t hei r deci si on. Thi s i s
i mpor t ant .

BRI TNEY
You have t o come wi t h us.

MEAT
Not her . She i sn' t t he one, we don' t
need her .

GALI LEO
I ' mnot goi ng wi t hout Scar amouche.

SCARAMOUCHE
Gazzer , who says I want t o go
anywher e? These peopl e coul d be
ki l l er s.

BRI TNEY
We ar e baby, ki l l er s, t hr i l l er s and
Bi smi l l ah' s!

MEAT
We' r e t he r esi st ance. The l ast hope.

BRI TNEY
We ar e t he Bohemi ans.

MEAT
And now you have a choi ce! Ar e you
r eady t o br eak f r ee.

BRI TNEY
Do you want i t al l

MEAT
To be a shoot i ng st ar ! A t i ger .

BRI TNEY
Def yi ng t he l aws of gr avi t y.

MEAT
Ar e you r eady t o be champi ons?

SCARAMOUCHE
Nah, sounds a bi t bor i ng i f you ask me.

GALI LEO
What ?

SCARAMOUCHE
I ' mj oki ng Gazzer . Of cour se I want t o
go.

GALI LEO
Al l r i ght !

The musi c of HEADLONG ki cks i n.

BRI TNEY
Then under st and t hi s, i f you come wi t h
us, i f you j oi n t he Bohemi ans, t her e' s
no way back t o Ga Ga l and, you' l l be
an out cast f or ever . No l onger a
member of t he Cons- human Race!

SCARAMOUCHE
Sounds per f ect . Let ' s go!

SCENE NI NE. DESCENT I NTO THE UNDERGROUND.

Now as t he musi c f or HEADLONG r i ses t r i umphant l y, Br i t ney,
Meat , Gal i l eo and Scar amouche j our ney down i nt o t he l ower
dept hs. Thi s i s a bi g st agi ng moment , we must f eel t hr ough
dance and speci al FX t hat t hey ar e descendi ng i nt o t he
under wor l d. As t hey descend t hey ar e j oi ned by mor e
wei r do' s and f r eaks who j oi n t he song and t he j our ney
t owar ds t he Hear t br eak Hot el .

MEAT
And you' r e r ushi n' headl ong. You' ve got a new goal
And you' r e r ushi n' headl ong, out of cont r ol

BRI TNEY
And you t hi nk you' r e so st r ong
But t her e ai n' t no st oppi ng
and t her e' s not hi ng you can do about i t

ALL
Not hi n' you can do, t her e' s not hi n' you can do about i t

BRI TNEY
No t her e' s not hi n' you can

GALI LEO
Not hi n' you can

SCARAMOUCHE
Not hi n' you can

MEAT
Do about i t !

ALL - ( ALL + OFFSTAGE)
And you' r e r ushi n' ( headl ong) . You' ve got a new goal
And you' r e r ushi n' ( headl ong) , out of cont r ol
And you t hi nk you' r e ( so st r ong)
But t her e ai n' t no st oppi ng
and t her e' s

BRI TNEY + ALL
Not hi n' you can do about i t

MEAT
Hey He used t o be a man, wi t h a st i ck i n hi s hand

ALL
Hoop di ddy di ddy. Hoop di ddy do

BRI TNEY
She used t o be a woman wi t h a hot dog st and

ALL
Hoop di ddy di ddy

MEAT
Now you' ve got soup i n t he l aundr y bag

BRI TNEY
Now you' ve got st r i ngs you' r e goi ng t o l ose your r ag

MEAT
You' r e get t i ng i n a f i ght and i t ai n' t so gr oovy

BRI TNEY
When you' r e scr eami ng i n t he ni ght

BRI TNEY AND MEAT
Get me out of t hi s cheap B movi e

ALL - ( ALL + OFFSTAGE)
( Headl ong) down t he hi ghway
And you' r e r ushi ng ( headl ong) , out of cont r ol
And you t hi nk you' r e ( so st r ong)

BRI TNEY
But t her e ai n' t no st oppi n'

MEAT
And you can' t st op r ocki n'

ALL
And t her e' s not hi ng you can, not hi ng you can, not hi ng you
can do about i t

As t hey descend t hey ar e passi ng t hr ough geol ogi cal l ayer s.

SCARAMOUCHE
Wher e ar e we goi ng!

MEAT
We' r e goi ng down hen!

Now Gal i l eo and Scar amouche ar e at t he cent r e of t he song,
t hr i l l ed t o be t oget her and j oi ni ng t he r esi st ance.

GALI LEO
When a r ed hot man meet s a whi t e hot l ady

ALL + OFFSTAGE
Hoop di ddy di ddy
Hoop di ddy do

SCARAMOUCHE
Soon t he f i r e st ar t s a bur ni n'
Makes emmor e t han hal f cr azy

ALL + OFFSTAGE
Hoop di ddy di ddy
Hoop di ddy do

GALI LEO
Now you st ar t f r eaki n ever ywher e you t ur n
You can' t st op r unni ng cos your f eet got bur ned

SCARAMOUCHE
I t ai n' t no t i me t o f i gur e wr ong f r omr i ght
Cos r eason' s out t he wi ndow bet t er hol d on t i ght

ALL - ( ALL + OFFSTAGE)
You' r e r ushi n' ( headl ong)

GALI LEO - ( GALI LEO +
OFFSTAGE)
Down t he hi ghway
And you' r e r ushi n' ( headl ong)

SCARAMOUCHE - ( SCARA +
OFFSTAGE)
Out of cont r ol
You t hi nk your ( so st r ong)

ALL
But t her e ai n' t no st oppi n'

MEAT
And t her e' s not hi n'

GALLI LEO
Not hi n'
SCARAMOUCHE
Not hi n'

BRI TNEY
Not hi n'

ALL - ( ALL + OFFSTAGE)
Not hi n' you can not hi n' you can
Not hi n' you can do about i t !
( Headl ong) !

SCENE TEN. THE HEARTBREAK HOTEL.
The song i s over and we di scover Gal i l eo, Scar amouche,
Br i t ney and Meat . They have descended i nt o t he under wor l d.

BRI TNEY
Wel come t o t he Hear t br eak Hot el .

The Hear t br eak Hot el i s deep beneat h t he ci t y. Huge
dr ai nage and f uel pi pes amongst t he r ocks et c. But al so
pl ast er ed t o t he wal l s and pi pes ar e anci ent ol d t or n
post er s and bi t s of magazi nes. Cl assi c r ock memor abi l i a. The
Bohemi ans ar e al l l i ke Br i t ney and Meat , wei r dl y dr essed i n
a compl et e mi x up of r ock and pop f ashi ons. BI G MACCAspeaks.

BM
Who ar e t hese t wo Br i t ?

BRI TNEY
I t hi nk I ' ve f ound hi m. The one we' ve
been wai t i ng f or . The dr eamer .

BOHEMI ANS
Gasps

BM
The dr eamer ? J ust because he has
excel l ent muscl e def i ni t i on does not
make hi mPet er Andr e.

BOHEMI ANS
Laughs

BRI TNEY
He cal l s hi msel f . . . . Gal i l eo.

BOHEMI ANS
Wows

Ther e i s gener al shock a t hi s.

BM
Gal i l eo? Then he must have seen t he
t ext s. He' s a spy.

MEAT
Whi ch i s what I sai d.

BI G MACCA
Ki l l hi m!

The Bohemi ans al l r ush t owar ds Gal i l eo r eady t o at t ack.

BRI TNEY
Anyone who t r i es t o ki l l t he dude has
t o come past me.
( Br i t ney hal t s t hemwi t h hi s ar mand as hi s does hi s hand
i nadver t ent l y l ands on one of Puf f s br east s. )

PUFF
That i s my boobi e!
BRI TNEY
Sor r y

MEAT
He says he dr eams t he wor ds.

BRI TNEY
He cal l s t he chi ck Scar amouche.

Scar amouche i s get t i ng pr et t y pi ssed of f wi t h t hi s casual
sexi sm.

SCARAMOUCHE
What i s t hi s ' chi ck' busi ness? Do I
have f eat her s? Do I l ay eggs?

BM
Oi l ady. The t ext t eaches us t hat i n
t he age of r ock babes wer e known as
chi cks as a mar k of r espect second

SCARAMOUCHE
Somet hi ng t el l s me you' ve got t hat
wr ong.

GALI LEO
You keep speaki ng of t hese t ext s.
What ar e t hese ' t ext s' anyway?

Bi g Macca i s sl owl y begi nni ng t o t r ust Gal i l eo.

BM
Fr agment s, not hi ng mor e. St uf f t hat we
and ot her Bohemi ans acr oss t he gl obal
shoppi ng pr eci nct have f ound.

Anot her Bohemi an speaks up, a gi r l cal l ed CHARLOTTE CHURCH

CHARLOTTE CHURCH
We have scr aps of st uf f , magazi nes. . . .

BM
Yes. They wer e ki nd of l i ke Web Si t es
but t hey wer e made of paper and you
coul d t ouch t hem. And wei r d, st at i c
commer ci al s, st uck t o wal l s, t hey wer e
cal l ed post er s. We t ake our names f r om
t hese cl ues f r omt he age of r ock.

ARETHA
I ' mAr et ha.

J ACKSON FI VE
J ackson Fi ve

EDDI E COCHRANE
Eddi e Cochr ane

J USTI N TROUSERSNAKE
J ust i n Tr ouser snake

BM
And I , I amPaul McCar t ney. But I
pr ef er t o be known as Si r Paul
McCar t ney.

BOHEMI ANS
Gr oans

MEAT
And I ' mMeat . You can cal l me Mi ss
Loaf .

MADONNA
I ' mMadonna.

PUFF
They cal l me P Puf f Di ddy Daddy Dum
Di ddy Do.

A r at her weedy yout h.

CLI FF RI CHARD
Yes hel l o, I ' mCl i f f Ri char d.

CHARLOTTE CHURCH
Char l ot t e f r i ggi ng Chur ch.

BOB
And I ' mBob. Bob t he poet . Bob t he
r ebel . Bob t he pr ophet . I amBob t he
Bui l der .

Gal i l eo t ur ns t o Br i t ney, t her e i s a connect i on.

SCARAMOUCHE
And who ar e you?

BRI TNEY
And I ' mt he bi ggest , badest , meanest ,
nast i est , ugl i est , most r agi ng,
r appi ng, r ock and r ol l i ng, si ck, punk,
heavy met al , psycho bast ar d t hat ever
got get down f unky. They cal l me
Br i t ney Spear s.

GALI LEO
And what i s t hi s pl ace, t hi s
' Hear t br eak Hot el ' .

BM
Get t he man a chai r .

SCARAMOUCHE
And wher e do you get al l t hi s gr eat
st uf f ? You l ook f ant ast i c.

MEAT
We f i nd i t , we' r e scavenger s. Fancy a
makeover ? C' mon you' r e a bohemi an now.

The gi r l s begi n t o chat t er exci t edl y about cl ot hes.

SCARAMOUCHE
We- e- l l

MEAT
How about some t i ght j eans?

SCARAMOUCHE
I hat e my bum.

MEAT
A shor t ski r t ?

SCARAMOUCHE
I hat e my l egs.

MEAT
A cr opped t op?

SCARAMOUCHE
I hat e my st omach. . . And my hi ps. . . . I
qui t e l i ke my ar ms. . .

Wel l t hen maybe you coul d. . . . .

SCARAMOUCHE
But not my hands. . .

MEAT
So, somet hi ng t hat accent uat es your
el bows? Go on hen, I ' ve got l oads of
st uf f back t her e, j ust have a l augh.

SCARAMOUCHE
I t ' s you l ot t hat wi l l be havi ng t he
l augh!

Scar amouche di sappear s behi nd t he t ube st at i on door . Bi g
Macca at t empt s t o r e- f ocus t he Bohemi ans. The mood changes.

BI G MACCA
As I was sayi ng. We bui l t t hi s pl ace
as a shr i ne, a shr i ne t o t he l ong
dead ki ng.

GALLI LEO
What ki ng?

The l i ght s di mout of r espect and we hear an i nst r ument al
sect i on of NO ONE BUT YOU. The Bohemi ans r eci t e t hei r hol y
st or y wi t h gr eat sadness.

BM
Li t t l e i s known about hi mexcept t hat
hi s name was Pel vi s, a poor boy f r om
nowher e who sang l i ke an angel and
danced l i ke t he devi l . A t eenage t r uck
dr i ver who br oke f r ee t o become a
mi ght y r ebel , a r ebel who spawned a
t housand r ebel s.

PUFF
But he was t oo wi l d, t oo f r ee.

BOB
So t hey put hi mi n t he ar my.

CHARLOTTE CHURCH
And t hen t hey made hi mmake hundr eds
of movi es wi t h gi r l s i n bi ki ni s.

MADONNA
Si ngi ng songs about hul a hoops t o
gangs of gr i nni ng ki ds.

CHARLOTTE CHURCH
The ki ng was dead.

BM
And many pr i nces and r ebel s di ed
t her eaf t er . The songs have been l ost ,
but t hei r names l i ve on. We r emember
t hose t hat di ed young, Buddy Hol l y

( ALANA)
J i mi Hendr i x. .

CHARLOTTE CHURCH
Kur t Cobai n

BOB
J ani ce J opl i n

PUFF
J i mMor r i son

J USTI N
Bob Mar l ey

BM
J ohn Lennon

MEAT
Fr eddi e. . . .

Meat l oaf and t he Bohemi ans si ng NO ONE BUT YOU.
A hand above t he wat er
An angel r eachi ng f or t he sky
I s i t r ai ni ng i n heaven
Do you want us t o cr y
And ever ywher e t he br oken hear t ed
On ever y l onel y avenue
No one coul d r each t hem
No one but you
One by one
Onl y t he good di e young
They' r e onl y f l yi ng t o cl ose t o t he sun
And l i f e goes on
Wi t hout you
Anot her t r i cky si t uat i on
I get t o dr owni n' i n t he bl ues
And I f i nd mysel f t hi nki n'
Wel l what woul d you do?
Yes! I t was such an oper at i on
( Ooh)
For ever payi ng ever y due
Hel l you made a sensat i on
( A sensat i on)
You f ound a way t hr ough
( Found a way t hough)
One by one. Onl y t he good di e young
( One by one. Onl y t he good di e young)
They' r e onl y f l yi ng t o cl ose t o t he sun
( They' r e f l yi ng cl ose t o t he sun)
We' l l r emember For ever
And now t he par t y must be over
I guess we' l l never under st and
The sense of your l eavi ng
Was i t t he way i t was pl anned?
And so we' l l gr ace anot her t abl e
( Ooh)
And r ai se our gl asses one mor e t i me
Ther e' s a f ace at t he wi ndow
and I ai n' t never never sayi n' goodbye
And i t ' s one by one
( One by one)
Onl y t he good di e young
( Onl y t he good di e young)
They' r e onl y f l yi n' t oo cl ose t o t he sun
( They' r e onl y f l yi ng t oo cl ose t o t he sun)
Cr yi n' f or not hi ng
Cr yi n' f or no one
No one but you.

Scar amouche r e- ent er s r at her gi nger l y t hr ough t he door .

SCARAMOUCHE
Da Dah!

Bohemi ans cheer and show gener al appr eci at i on.

MEAT
You l ook gr eat hen!

SCARAMOUCHE
No I don' t

MEAT
You do, t ot al l y r ock and r ol l !

Bohemi ans cheer agai n.

GALLI LEO
That ' s r i ght Scar amouche. You do l ook
t ot al l y r ock and r ol l . What i s Rock
n' Rol l ?

BM
What i s r ock and r ol l ?! What i s r ock
and r ol l ?! !

BRI TNEY
Gazzer Baby, Rock n' Rol l i s anyt hi ng
you want i t t o be.

CLI FF RI CHARD
I t ' s sex.

CHARLOTTE CHURCH
I t ' s st yl e.

BOB
I t ' s r ebel l i on.

BM
I t ' s f r eedom!

Bohemi ans al l cheer

GALLI LEO
Yes but what act ual l y i s i t ?

BM
We don' t know. Al l we know i s t hat
somehow t her e came a day when r ock and
r ol l di ed. But we have al ways bel i eved
i n t i me t her e woul d ar i se a man who
car r i ed t he past wi t hi n hi m.

CHARLOTTE CHURCH
A man, who coul d r emember .

BM
Yes t hankyou Char l ot t e Fr i ggi n Chur ch.
Somewher e on Pl anet Mal l t her e ar e
i nst r ument s. Ther e must be. I f Br i t ney
i s r i ght , you ar e t he man who wi l l
f i nd t hemand r ock and r ol l wi l l be r e
bor n!

BOHEMI ANS
Yeah! ! !

GALLI LEO
Me? Excuse me, Br i t ney br i ng back r ock
and r ol l ? I woul dn' t know wher e t o
st ar t .

BRI TNEY
You st ar t wi t h your baby of - cour se!

BOHEMI ANS
Yeah!

BRI TNEY
Li ke me and Meat !

BOHEMI ANS
Yeah!

BRI TNEY
Or you and Scar amouche!

SCARAMOUCHE
What ?

BRI TNEY
You see Gal i l eo, what passes f or musi c
t hese days i s cr eat ed onl y f or money,
whi ch i s why i t has no soul . But when
Rock n' Rol l began you know why t hey
di d i t ?

GALI LEO
For t hei r babi es!

BOHEMI ANS
Yeah!

BRI TNEY
Of cour se, t hey di d i t f or a cr azy
l i t t l e t hi ng cal l ed l ove.

Toget her Br i t ney and Meat si ng CRAZY LI TTLE THI NG CALLED
LOVE t he company al l j oi n i n but i t i s cl ear l y a l ove song
bet ween Br i t ney and Meat .

Ah- oom, ah- oom, ah- oom, ah- oom, ah- oom, ooh ooh

BRI TNEY
Thi s t hi ng cal l ed l ove. I j ust can' t handl e i t

MEAT
Thi s t hi ng cal l ed l ove. I must get r ound t o i t

BRI TNEY
I ai n' t r eady

BRI TNEY AND MEAT
Cr azy l i t t l e t hi ng cal l ed l ove

MEAT
Thi s t hi ng cal l ed l ove
( t hi s t hi ng cal l ed l ove)
I t cr i es i n t he cr adl e al l ni ght
( Li ke a baby)

BRI TNEY
I t swi ngs, i t j i ves, i t shakes al l over l i ke a j el l y f i sh
( ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh)

MEAT
I ki nda l i ke i t .
( I ki nda l i ke i t )

BRI TNEY AND MEAT
Cr azy l i t t l e t hi ng cal l ed l ove

BRI TNEY
Ther e goes my baby
She knows how t o r ock and r ol l
( Ooh ooh aah)
She dr i ves me cr azy, she gi ves me hot and col d f ever
She l eaves me i n a cool cool sweat !
I got t a be cool , r el ax, get hi p, get on my t r acks
( ooh ooh, ooh ooh, man! )
Take a back seat . Hi t ch hi ke
( Back seat Hi t ch hi ke ooh Vr oomVr oom)
And t ake a l ong r i de on my mot or bi ke
Unt i l I ' mr eady
( Uh huh)

BRI TNEY AND MEAT
Cr azy l i t t l e t hi ng cal l ed l ove
( Cr azy l i t t l e t hi ng cal l ed l ove)

GALI LEO
I got t a be cool , a- r el ax
Get hi p, and get on my t r acks

SCARAMOUCHE
Take a back seat .
( Ahmm)

GALI LEO
Hi t ch hi ke

SCARAMOUCHE
And t ake a l ong r i de on my mot or bi ke
( Ahmm- mm)

SCARAMOUCHE AND GALI LEO
Unt i l I ' mr eady
( Ar e you r eady)

BRI TNEY
Cr azy l i t t l e t hi ng cal l ed l ove

BOHEMI ANS
Thi s t hi ng

BRI TNEY
Thi s t hi ng

BOHEMI ANS
Cal l ed l ove

MEAT
Cal l ed l ove

BOHEMI ANS
I j ust Woah!

MEAT
A- can' t handl e i t

BOHEMI ANS
Thi s t hi ng

Thi s t hi ng

BOHEMI ANS
Cal l ed l ove

MEAT
Cal l ed l ove

BOHEMI ANS
I must

MEAT
J ust got t a get r ound t o i t
( a- get r ound t o i t )
I ai n' t r eady
( ooh)

BRI TNEY
Get r eady

MEAT AND BRI TNEY
Cr azy l i t t l e t hi ng cal l ed l ove
Cr azy l i t t l e t hi ng cal l ed l ove
Cr azy l i t t l e t hi ng cal l ed l ove

BRI TNEY
Cr azy l i t t l e t hi ng cal l ed l ove

MEAT AND BRI TNEY
Cr azy l i t t l e t hi ng cal l ed l ove

BRI TNEY
Al r i ght

ALL
Oh YEAH!

The song ends i n exul t ant t r i umph. Si r ens wai l , l i ght s
f l ash. Ther e ar e cops ever ywher e. The mar ch on f r omal l
si des, descend f r omt he ai r , appear t hr ough t he f l oor s. The
bohemi ans gat her t oget her i n def ence. Khashoggi ent er s.

KHASHOGGI
Oh yeah i ndeed!

Pol i ce enci r l ce Bohemi ans and l ead t hemi nt o cent r e st age.
Two Pol i cemen keep Gal i l eo and Scar amouche downst age.

KHASHOGGI ( cont ' d)
Fi nal l y I amchecki ng i nt o t he
Hear t br eak Hot el . And so Mr .
McCar t ney. . . I say hel l o and you say
goodbye! I ncar cer at e t he r ebel s!

The Laser cel l i s t ur ned on

BRI TNEY
No! You' l l never t ake t he Dr eamer
whi l e I ' mal i ve.

KHASHOGGI
And you' l l never escape t he l aser
cage!

Br i t ney br eaks out of t he l aser cage

BRI TNEY
Gal i l eo! Scar amouche! The f ut ur e of
r ock l i es wi t h you!

begi ns.

For a second Gal i l eo i s t or n, but he knows t hat he and
Scar amouche must r un. As OGRE BATTLE get s bi g and Br i t ney
and t he ot her Bohemi ans hol d of f t he cops Gal i l eo gr abs
Scar amouche' s hand and t hey escape. . .

ACT TWO. SCENE ONE. GA GA LAND.

Act Two opens i n dar kness we hear t he wei r d sl o- mo i nt r o of
ONE VI SI ON. Then as t he di r t y gui t ar r i f f ki cks i n t he
l i ght s bl ast up on t he sur f ace of Pl anet Mal l .
The Ga Ga ki ds i n f ul l aut omat ed gl or y appear . These happy
cl appy St epf or d boys and gi r l s si ng ONE VI SI ON.

GA GA KI DS
Hey! One pl an, one goal , one mi ssi on
No hear t , no soul j ust one sol ut i on
One f l ash of l i ght , yeah, one God, One vi si on
One comf or t zone
One t r ue r el i gi on
One voi ce, one hope
One r eal deci si on
Whoa yeah
Oh yeah Oh yeah

FREDDI E
I had a dr eamwhen I was young
A dr eamof sweet i l l usi on
A gl i mpse of hope and uni t y
And vi si ons of one sweet uni on

GA GA KI DS
But a col d wi nd bl ows and a dar k r ai n f al l s
And i n my hear t i t shows
Look what t hey' ve done t o my dr eam
One vi si on
So gi ve us your hands
Gi ve us your hear t s
We' r e r eady
Ther e' s onl y one di r ect i on
One wor l d and one nat i on
On t el evi si on
No hat e, no f i ght
J ust exci t at i on
Al l t hr ough t he ni ght
I t ' s a cel ebr at i on
Whoa Whoa Whoa Yeah
One, one, one, one, one, one, one
( 8 Bar s of i nst r ument al )
Ahh Ahh!
One f l esh, one cl one
One t r ue r el i gi on
One voi ce, one hope
One r eal deci si on
Gi ve us one ni ght yeah
Gi ve us one hope Hey!
J ust gi ve us Ah!
One pl an, one scam
One st ar , one ni ght
One day Hey
Hey j ust gi mme
Gi mme, gi mme, gi mme
Fr i ed chi cken!

The song ends. The appl ause i s i nt er r upt ed by pol i ce si r ens
and sear ch l i ght s. We hear an el ect r oni c announcement .

POLI CE MEGAPHONE
( Rebel al er t , r ebel al er t . )

The Ga Ga ki ds exi t wi t h ur gency.

SCENE TWO. WRECKED CAR.

Gal i l eo and Scar amouche appear t hr ough t he gr i l l s,
exhaust ed and al one, l ost i n t he under wor l d.

GALI LEO
How di d Khashoggi f i nd t he Hear t br eak
Hot el !

SCARAMOUCHE
He must have some way of t r acki ng
us. . . .

GALI LEO
The hospi t al ! When t hey oper at ed on
our heads!

Gal i l eo t akes hol d of Scar amouche' s head, gent l y he f eel s
about her f or ehead.

GALI LEO ( cont ' d)
I t hi nk. . . . I t hi nk I ' ve f ound
somet hi ng.

Scar amouche get s a shar d of gl ass f r omt he van.

SCARAMOUCHE
Cut i t out .

GALI LEO
What !

SCARAMOUCHE
Gazzer , i f t her e ar e bugs i n our heads
t hen t he cops wi l l r un us down i n
hour s. Cut i t out !

Rel uct ant l y Gal i l eo t akes t he shar d of gl ass and as gent l y
as he can cut s i nt o Scar amouche' s hai r l i ne. She gasps but
he r emoves a f l ashi ng devi ce.

GALI LEO
He had us f r omt he st ar t . He' s hear d
ever yt hi ng. . .

SCARAMOUCHE
Hel l o per ver t ! Shor t
sent ence. . . . second wor d i s " of f " !

GALI LEO
OK now me.

She moves t owar ds hi mand he scr eams l oudl y.

SCARAMOUCHE
I haven' t done i t yet

GALLI LEO
I knew t hat !

She t akes t he gl ass and cut s out a f l ashi ng bug.

GALI LEO
Qui ck, cr ush t hem.

SCARAMOUCHE
What ? A coupl e of st at e of t he ar t
mi cr o t r anscei ver s? No way, I ' l l j ust
act i vat e t he maxi mumnegat i vi t y
spect r um.

GALI LEO
What ?

SCARAMOUCHE
Tur n t hemof f .

GALI LEO
We' r e al l t hat ' s l ef t now Scar amouche,
you know t hat don' t you? The Bohemi ans
ar e f i ni shed. The Hear t br eak hot el
dest r oyed. Onl y we escaped.

SCARAMOUCHE
Br i t ney Spear s di ed t o save us. To
save you.

GALI LEO
And he must not have di ed i n vai n.
I t ' s up t o us now. We' r e par t of t he
under wor l d Scar amouche. You and me,
cast adr i f t . Ther e' s no goi ng back,
not now, not ever .

SCARAMOUCHE
We never bel onged anyway. Di d you
not i ce, you l ost your st ut t er ?

GALI LEO
I f eel di f f er ent .

SCARAMOUCHE
We' r e bot h di f f er ent . . . . For t he f i r st
t i me i n my l i f e I don' t hat e mysel f .

GALI LEO
And I don' t want t o di e. . . . I ' ve f ound
somet hi ng t o l i ve f or .

SCARAMOUCHE
The dr eam?

GALI LEO
You.

Musi c st ar t s f or WHO WANTS TO LI VE FOREVER. For a moment
t hey l ook i nt o each ot her ' s eyes.

GALI LEO ( CONT' D) ( cont ' d)
But we wi l l be caught i n t he end, you
know t hat don' t you?

SCARAMOUCHE
Yes. I know and pr obabl y ki l l ed.

GALI LEO
I l ove you Scar amouche.

SCARAMOUCHE
I l ove you t oo Gazz.

GALI LEO
Do you t hi nk maybe j ust once you coul d
use my whol e name?

SCARAMOUCHE
I l ove you t oo, Gazza Fi zza.

She t ouches hi mt ender l y.

GALI LEO
Wel l i f you l ove me t hen dyi ng doesn' t
mat t er ver y much at al l , does i t ?

They si ng WHO WANTS TO LI VE FOREVER t oget her as t hey si ng
t hey dance ever cl oser , t hey t r ul y ar e f al l i ng l ove.

SCARAMOUCHE & GALI LEO
Ther e' s no t i me f or us, t her e' s no pl ace f or us
What i s t hi s t hi ng t hat bui l ds our dr eams
yet sl i ps away f r omus
Who want s t o l i ve f or ever ?
Who want s t o l i ve f or ever ? Ooh
Ther e' s no chance f or us. I t ' s al l deci ded f or us
Thi s wor l d has onl y one sweet moment set asi de f or us
Who want s t o l i ve f or ever ?
Who want s t o l i ve f or ever ? Ooh
Who dar es t o l ove f or ever ?
Oh ooh When l ove must di e
But t ouch my t ear s wi t h your l i ps
Touch my wor l d wi t h your f i nger t i ps
And we can have f or ever . And we can l ove f or ever
For ever i s our s t oday
And we can l i ve f or ever
And we can l ove f or ever
For ever i s our s
Who wai t s f or ever anyway

Now t hey embr ace and t hei r embr ace f ades i nt o l ove maki ng.
The l i ght s f ade. . .

SCENE THREE. LASER CAGES.
Now we hear t he si ni st er and ur gent t hr ob of FLASH
i nt r udi ng on t he dar kness. The l i ght s come up t o r eveal a
t er r i bl e si ght . The sur vi vi ng Bohemi ans. Bi g Macca,
Madonna, Ar et ha et c. ar e bei ng hel d capt i ve by Khashoggi .
Each i s hel d i n a l aser cage as Khashoggi wal ks amongst
t hem.

KHASHOGGI
What do you know of t he phr ase " l i vi ng
r ock" wher e i s " t he pl ace of t he
Champi ons?"

BM
They ar e f r eedomwor ds Pi g, wor ds t he
Dr eamer used. We don' t know what t hey
mean.

The pr i soner s ar e al l connect ed t o a comput er , a doct or i s
st udyi ng t he scr eens.

KHASHOGGI
Pi t y. . . . Hur t hi manyway.

The doct or hi t s a but t on and a vast bol t of power i s shot
t hr ough Bi g Macca' s scr eami ng body, i t i s punct uat ed by t he
si ngl e hook. . . . FLASH! AH AH!

KHASHOGGI ( CONT' D) ( cont ' d)
I woul d r at her you di d not cal l me
' pi g' .

Madonna def i es Khashoggi .

MADONNA
Pi g' s t oo good f or you!

KHASHOGGI
Hur t her al so.

Agai n t he hook FLASH AH AH! bl ast s out as Madonna i s
t er r i f yi ngl y zapped.

KHASHOGGI ( cont ' d)
I n f act , hur t t hemal l .

Agai n t he hook FLASH AH AH! bl ast s out as al l t he caged
Bohemi ans ar e zapped.

Now t he sl ow r ef r ai n of FLASH becomes t he under scor e.

KHASHOGGI ( cont ' d)
For what i t ' s wor t h, your ' dr eamer '
know' s no mor e about t he pl ace of
l i vi ng r ock t han you or I do. He i s a
poor i di ot , par r ot t i ng phr ases whi ch
he does not under st and. St i l l , he l ed
me t o you and f or t hat I amgr at ef ul .

PUFF
Ar e you goi ng t o ki l l us?

KHASHOGGI
Pl ease, Mr . P Puf f Di ddy Daddy Dum
Di ddy Do. Gl obal sof t i s not some
medi eval i nqui si t i on. We ar e mer el y
goi ng t o ki l l your soul s. Empt y your
br ai ns of such absur d not i ons as r eal
musi c and i ndi vi dual t hought .

BM
You' r e sendi ng us t o Eur o Di sney?

KHASHOGGI
You wi sh! No I was t hi nki ng mor e of
The 7- Seas of Rye.

MEAT
Dr eamer f ol l ow us. Bohemi ans, gi ve hi m
your power , make your l ast t hought s
t he dr eam.

KHASHOGGI
Goodni ght Mi ss Loaf !

ALL
NO! ! ! !

The musi c of SEVEN SEAS OF RHYE st r i kes up and Cops ent er
t he cages. The cops ar e car r yi ng BRAI N WASHI NG HELMETS, t he
Bohemi ans ar e hor r i f i ed and t r y t o f i ght .
The Bohemi ans st r uggl e desper at el y as t he cops f or ce
hel met s ont o t hei r heads as KHASHOGGI and t he cops si ng
SEVEN SEAS OF RHYE.

KHASHOGGI
Fear me you l or ds and l ady pr eacher s
I descend upon your Ear t h f r omt he ski es
I command your ver y soul s you unbel i ever s
Br i ng bef or e me what i s mi ne
The seven seas of Rhye
Can you hear me you peer s and pr i vvy counci l l or s
( Ah)
I st and bef or e you naked t o t he eyes
( Ah)
I wi l l dest r oy any man who dar es abuse my t r ust
( Ah)
I swear t hat you' l l be mi ne
The seven seas of Rhye
Si st er I l i ve and I l i e f or you
Mi st er do and I ' l l di e
You ar e mi ne and I possess you bel ong t o you f or ever ahh!
( f or ever ever ever )
St or mt he mast er mar at hon and I ' l l f l y t hr ough
By f l ash and t hunder f i r e and I ' l l sur vi ve
( I ' l l sur vi ve, I ' l l sur vi ve)
Then I ' l l def y t he l or ds of nat ur e and come out al i ve
( I ' l l sur vi ve, I ' l l sur vi ve, I ' l l sur vi ve, I ' l l sur vi ve)
Then I ' l l get you
Be gone wi t h you shod and shady senat or s
Gi ve out t he good l eave out t he bad evi l cr i es
I chal l enge t he mi ght y Ti t an and hi s t r oubadour s
And wi t h a smi l e
I ' l l t ake you t o t he seven seas of Rhye

I t i s vi ol ent and nast y. As t he song pr ogr esses t he
Bohemi ans f i ght l ess and l ess and i nst ead t hey t wi t ch and
wr i t he l i ke aut omat ons. By t he end of t he song t he
Bohemi ans have been compl et el y subdued by t he hel met s, t hey
hang l i mpl y i n t hei r l aser cages l i ke puppet s on l i f el ess
st r i ngs.

Now as t he song t ur ns t o t he l ast bi t , t he " Do Li ke t o Be
Besi de t he Seasi de" bi t , t he cops ar e gone l eavi ng onl y t he
pat het i c Bohemi ans hangi ng i n t hei r cages l i mpl y si ngi ng.

EX BOHEMI ANS
Oh I do l i ke t o be besi de t he sea si de
Oh I do l i ke t o be besi de t he sea.

Then t hey di sappear .

SCENE FOUR. WRECKED CAR.

We ar e back i n t he l ower dept hs wi t h Gal i l eo and
Scar amouche, Gal i l eo i s asl eep. Scar a i s awake, t i nker i ng
wi t h somet hi ng.

Gal i l eo awakes wi t h a st ar t .

GALI LEO
The Seven Seas of Rhye!

SCARAMOUCHE
( Ver y chi r py)
Wel l good mor ni ng Gazzer ! Or per haps I
shoul d use your f ul l name Shagi l eo
Gi gol o.

GALI LEO
I ' ve had t hi s dr eamand. . . . . Shagi l eo
Gi gol o?
( pl eased)
You r eal l y t hi nk so?

SCARAMOUCHE
Oh yes.

She l eans acr oss t o embr ace hi m, he al most succumbs.

GALI LEO
No, Scar amouche, we don' t have t i me!
The Seven Seas of Rhye, I ' ve been
dr eami ng about Si r Paul McCar t ney and
t he ot her s. I dr eamt t hat t her e wer e
cops and t her e wer e cages made of
l aser s and. . . .

SCARAMOUCHE
Gazzer , bel i eve me t her e i s not hi ng
and I mean not hi ng mor e bor i ng t han
peopl e want i ng t o descr i be t hei r
dr eams t o you.

GALI LEO
No but r eal l y. . . .

SCARAMOUCHE
Tr ust me on t hi s, i t ki l l s
r el at i onshi ps st one dead, t he day one
par t ner wakes up and st ar t s sayi ng " i t
was amazi ng, t her e was t hi s r abbi t i n
a bowl er hat cooki ng an omel et t e"
t hat ' s when l ove di es.

GALI LEO
Scar amouche I ' msur e of i t , The
Bohemi ans ar e headi ng acr oss t he Seven
Seas of Rhye.

SCARAMOUCHE
I know.

GALI LEO
I t hi nk i t ' s somewher e i n t he Eur o
pr eci nct of Pl anet Mal l , t her e' s
wat er , l ot s of wat er . . . . What ?

SCARAMOUCHE
I know about t he Seven Seas of Rhye,
t hey' r e not seas at al l , but r i ver s,
r i ver s t hat suppl y a Lake. They used
t o cal l i t Lake Geneva. The spi r i t of
r ock' s ver y st r ong t her e. I t ' s wher e
t hey put t he mi sf i t s, t he r ebel s.

GALI LEO
But t hi s i s i ncr edi bl e Scar amouche!
We' ve had t he same dr eam! I t ' s l i ke
we' r e soul mat es, spl i t apar t s,
ki ndr ed spi r i t s. . . .

SCARAMOUCHE
Gaz, I di dn' t have any dr eam, I ' ve
j ust r ever sed t he pol ar i t y on one of
Khashoggi ' s mi cr o t r ansci ever s. I ' ve
been moni t or i ng pol i ce Headquar t er s.

GALI LEO
Wow, you cer t ai nl y know how t o make a
guy f eel i nadequat e.

SCARAMOUCHE
Oh bl ess! Let me make i t up t o you.

Once mor e she l eans acr oss.

GALI LEO
No Scar amouche, maybe l at er but r i ght
now I have t o go t o t he Seven Seas.

SCARAMOUCHE
Pr et t y danger ous, t he cops ar e bound
t o be st i l l af t er us. I say we hi de
out her e on t hi s mat t r ess f or a f ew
days. . . and Whi l e we' r e her e. . .

GALI LEO
No Scar a, I st i l l haven' t f ound what
I ' ml ooki ng f or . I can' t get no
sat i sf act i on. You don' t st op t i l l you
get enough. . . Aaaah ( Angr y and
conf used) Ga. . . Doo doo doo push
pi neappl e shake t he t r ee.

SCARAMOUCHE
Par don?

GALI LEO
Not hi ng. . . Look, I ' mgoi ng Scar amouche,
but I shal l come back and. . . .

SCARAMOUCHE
Hang on, what do you mean? Ther e' l l be
cops al l over t he pl ace. I shoul d go,
not you.

GALI LEO
For get i t Scar amouche, t hi s i s my
f i ght !

SCARAMOUCHE
Excuse me? How do you wor k t hat out ?

GALI LEO
Because I ' mt he man! Br i t ney Spear s
sai d so.

SCARAMOUCHE
Exact l y, whi ch i s why i t ' s st upi d f or
you t o r i sk your l i f e. I ' m
di spensabl e. You st ay her e.

GALI LEO
Oh yeah, l i ke I ' mr eal l y goi ng t o l et
my chi ck go f i ght my bat t l es f or me!

SCARAMOUCHE
" Let your chi ck" ! Excuse me, but at
what poi nt i n t hi s r el at i onshi p di d
you act ual l y t ake t he ar se- hol e pi l l ?

GALI LEO
Oh f or God' s sake Scar amouche, does
ever yt hi ng al ways have t o be a f i ght
wi t h you? I t hought you sai d you' d
mel l owed out ?

SCARAMOUCHE
Wel l I haven' t !

Wel l you know i t ' s r eal l y st ar t i ng t o
i r r i t at e me.

SCARAMOUCHE
Oh no! My hear t j ust br oke.

GALI LEO
Look! You' r e my gi r l f r i end and I want
t o pr ot ect you.

SCARAMOUCHE
You t hi nk j ust because you got your
l eg over , you own me or somet hi ng?

GALI LEO
Oh you ar e such a pai n wi t h t hi s
const ant f emal e asser t i on t hi ng!

SCARAMOUCHE
Fi ne! At l east we now know wher e we
st and.

GALI LEO
Yes we do!

SCARAMOUCHE
Whi ch i s not t oget her !

GALI LEO
I f you say so!

SCARAMOUCHE
Ri ght ! Fr omnow on our r el at i onshi p i s
pur el y pr of essi onal ; we have a j ob t o
do and we' l l do i t , t hat ' s al l .

GALI LEO
Sui t s me. But I ' mgoi ng t o The Seven
Seas.

SCARAMOUCHE
So amI , but i f when you get t her e you
get caught and t he dr eami s l ost and
t he ki ds ar e ensl aved t i l l t he end of
t i me, you' r e goi ng t o f eel a bi t
bl oody st upi d t hat ' s al l .

They st or mof f i n di f f er ent di r ect i ons, f ur i ous.

SCENE FI VE. KI LLER QUEEN' S PAD

Ki l l er Queen r i ses f r omher t r ap i nt o her boudoi r
sur r ounded by al l her yuppi e ser vant s.

( TRACK)
Oh you gonna t ake me home t oni ght
Oh down besi de t hat r ed f i r el i ght
Oh you gonna l et i t al l hang- out ?
Fat bot t omed gi r l s you make t he r ock
i n wor l d go r ound!

KI LLER QUEEN
Hey! I was j ust a ski nny l ass
Known f or si t t i ng on my ass
But I knew bef or e I l ef t my nur ser y
Huh!
Lef t al one wi t h bi g f at Fanny
She was such a naught y nanny
Heap bi g woman done made a bad gi r l
out of me!

YUPPI ES AND OFFSTAGE
Oh you gonna t ake me home t oni ght
Oh down besi de t hat r ed f i r el i ght
Oh you gonna gi ve i t al l you got
Fat bot t omed gi r l you make t he r ock- i n
wor l d go r ound! Yeah!
Fat bot t omed gi r l you make t he r ock- i n
wor l d go r ound r ound r ound!

KI LLER QUEEN
Hey I st i l l get my pl easur e
St i l l got my nat i onal t r easur e
Heap bi g woman You dun made a bad gi r l
o' me! Now get t hi s!

YUPPI ES AND OFFSTAGE
Oh we gonna t ake you home t oni ght
Oh down besi de t hat r ed f i r el i ght
Oh you gonna gi ve i t al l you got
Fat bot t omed gi r l you make t he r ock- i n
wor l d go r ound! Yeah!
Fat bot t omed gi r l you make t he r ock- i n
wor l d go r ound r ound r ound!

Khashoggi r ushes on. He seems a l i t t l e ner vy.

KHASHOGGI
Madam. I br i ng spl endi d news!

KI LLER QUEEN
Lat er , back i n f i ve! So.

Ki l l er Queen cl i cks her f i nger s t o di smi ss t he yuppi es
Upst age.

KHASHOGGI
My of f i cer s have been successf ul i n
br eaki ng up t he Bohemi an st r ong- hol d!

KI LLER QUEEN
Khashoggi t hi s i s wonder f ul ! The
r esi st ance i s vanqui shed! We' ve won!

KHASHOGGI
Uhmyes Ma' amexcept i f I mi ght
cont i n. . .

But t he Ki l l er Queen i s t oo happy t o l i st en and i nt er r upt s
Khashoggi wi t h t he openi ng DON' T STOP ME NOW.

Toni ght I ' mgonna have mysel f a r eal good t i me

KHASHOGGI
Yes Ma' am, i f I coul d j ust . . .

KI LLER QUEEN
I f eel al i y hi - hi - i ve!

KHASHOGGI
Ma' ami t ' s j ust t hat . . . .

KI LLER QUEEN
And t he wor l d t ur ni ng i nsi de out
Fl oat i ng ar ound i n ecst asy
so. . .

KHASHOGGI
Ma' am

KI LLER QUEEN
Don' t st op me now. . .

KHASHOGGI
Ma' am

KI LLER QUEEN
Don' t st op me
Cos I ' mhavi ng a good t i me, havi ng a good t i me
I ' ma shoot i ng st ar l eapi ng t hr ough t he sky
Li ke a t i ger . . . . . . . . . . . . .

KHASHOGGI
MADAM!

KI LLER QUEEN
Tel l me Commander Khashoggi . . .

KHASHOGGI
Ma' am?

KI LLER QUEEN
What par t of ' Don' t St op Me Know'
don' t you under st and?

KHASHOGGI
I t ' s j ust t hat you di d not l et me
f i ni sh.

KI LLER QUEEN
Fi ni sh now!

KHASHOGGI
We br oke up t he Hear t br eak Hot el but
t he Dr eamer and hi s bad ar sed babe
escaped. Wel l got t a go. . . . . . .

KI LLER QUEEN
You l ost t hem!

KHASHOGGI
Lost t hem, we di dn' t l ose t hem, we
j ust don' t know wher e t hey ar e.

KI LLER QUEEN
I amsi ck of your excuses Commander !
And I amal so si ck of you.

KHASHOGGI
Madam?

KI LLER QUEEN
Wi t h your wear y, sneer y, posey,
schmozi e " l ook at me I ' mwear i ng
sungl asses i ndoor s" cr ap.

Khashoggi whi ps of f hi s shades.

KI LLER QUEEN ( cont ' d)
Oi l i ng ar ound t he pl ace, your snoot y
l i t t l e boot y i n your Ar mani sui t ey.

KHASHOGGI
Act ual l y ma' ami t s M&S. They' ve r eal l y
r at her r ai sed t hei r game l at el y don' t
you t hi nk.

KI LLER QUEEN
Need I r emi nd you t hat besi des bei ng
busi ness woman of t he year I amal so
Dynami t e wi t h a l aser beam.

KHASHOGGI
( gent l y pani cki ng)
No one admi r es you mor e t han I do
ma' am. Your gent l e manner , your qui et
unassumi ng sense of st yl e. Your
gener ous f or gi vi ng nat ur e. . . .

KI LLER QUEEN
You know what happens t o peopl e who
di sappoi nt me. I t hi nk i t ' s t i me t o
bl ow your mi nd.

Ki l l er Queen si ngs ANOTHER ONE BI TES THE DUST. I t i s a ver y
cool , si ni st er ki l l i ng song, al l t he sweat i ng yuppi es cower
bef or e her .

KI LLER QUEEN ( cont ' d)
Ki l l er Queen wal ks war i l y down t he st r eet
Wi t h t he br i mpul l ed way down l ow
Ai n' t no sound but t he sound of her f eet
machi ne guns r eady t o go
Ar e you r eady, Hey! ar e r eady f or t hi s?
Ar e you hangi ng on t he edge of your seat ?
Out of t he door way t he bul l et s r i p
To t he sound of t he beat yeah
Anot her one bi t es t he dust
Anot her one bi t es t he dust
And anot her one gone and anot her one gone
Anot her one bi t es t he dust
Yeah Hey I ' mgonna get you
Anot her one bi t es t he dust
How do you t hi nk I ' mgonna get al ong
Wi t hout you when you' r e gone
I t ook you or ever yt hi ng t hat you had
And ki cked you out on your own
Ar e you happy, ar e you sat i sf i ed?
How l ong can you st and t he heat
Out of t he door way t he bul l et s r i p
To t he sound of t he beat l ook out
Anot her one bi t es t he dust
Anot her one bi t es t he dust
And anot her one gone and anot her one gone
Anot her one bi t es t he dust
Yeah Hey I ' mgonna get you
Anot her one bi t es t he dust
Anot her one bi t es t he dust
Anot her one bi t es t he dust
Anot her one bi t es t he dust
Hey Hey anot her one bi t es t he dust
Hey Ooh Shot
Ther e ar e pl ent y of ways you can hur t a man
And br i ng hi mt o t he gr ound
You can beat hi m
You can cheat hi m
You can t r eat hi mbad and l eave hi mwhen he' s down
Yeah! but I ' mr eady, yes I ' mr eady f or you
I ' mst andi ng on my own t wo f eet
Out of t he door way t he bul l et s r i p
Repeat i ng t o t he sound of t he beat
Oh yeah anot her one bi t es t he dust
Anot her one bi t es t he dust
And anot her one gone and anot her one gone
And anot her one bi t es t he dust
Hey I ' mgonna get you t oo
Anot her one bi t es t he dust
Anot her one bi t es t he dust
Anot her one bi t es t he dust

SCENE SI X. OUT ON THE ROAD.

Scar a and Gal i l eo ar e out on t he r un. Cl ear l y t hey have
been bi t chi ng f or 200 mi l es.

SCARAMOUCHE
Oi ! Oi ! Sl ow down wi l l you!

GALLI LEO
No! You keep up!

SCARAMOUCHE
I ' ve got shor t er l egs t han you!

GALLI LEO
Don' t wor r y, your mout h makes up f or
t hem.

SCARAMOUCHE
You di dn' t have any obj ect i ons t o i t
l ast ni ght .

GALLI LEO
That i s bel ow t he bel t !

SCARAMOUCHE
Whi ch seems t o be al l you t hi nk women
ar e good f or !

GALLI LEO
Hey we' r e not on some f emi ni st
awar eness cour se her e babe, i t ' s a
bat t l e as bi g as t he pl anet !

SCARAMOUCHE
As bi g as your ego mor e l i ke!

GALLI LEO
Me egot i st i cal ! Let s get one t hi ng
st r ai ght her e. You' r e a gi r l . You' r e
sl ower t han me, weaker t han me. . . .

SCARAMOUCHE
Cl ever er t han you. . .

GALLI LEO
What ? J ust because you managed t o
r ever se t he pol ar i t y on a coupl e of
mi cr o t r ansci ever s?

SCARAMOUCHE
Yes.

GALLI LEO
My i nt el l i gence i s abst r act ! I have
t he mi nd of an ar t i st .

SCARAMOUCHE
A pi ss ar t i st !

GALLI LEO
A r ock ar t i st ! And I have a wor l d t o
save, so i f you' r e goi ng t o hol d me up
t hen. . . .

SCARAMOUCHE
Hol d you up! Li st en mat e. We' r e i n
t hi s t oget her , and despi t e t he f act
t hat you' r e emot i onal l y i mmat ur e,
scar ed of commi t ment AND you kept your
socks on. . . I ' mst ayi ng!

GALLI LEO
Sui t your sel f !

SCARAMOUCHE
Don' t wor r y. I wi l l !

Toget her t hey si ng an edgy, spi r i t ed HAMMER TO FALL.

As t he cr ashi ng openi ng i nst r ument al ROCK of HAMMER TO FALL
bl ast s t hr ough They FI GHT VERY DRAMATI CALY. They cont i nue
t o f i ght as Gal i l eo si ngs, t aunt i ng Khashoggi .

GALLI LEO AND SCARAMOUCHE
Yeah! ( Yeah! )

GALLI LEO AND SCARAMOUCHE
( cont ' d)
What ? ( What ?)

GALLI LEO AND SCARAMOUCHE
( cont ' d)
Hey! ( Hey! )

GALLI LEO
Her e we st and or her e we f al l
Hi st or y won' t car e at al l
Wake t he dead
Fi ght t he f i ght
Oh Lady Mer cy won' t be home t oni ght

SCARAMOUCHE AND GALI LEO
You don' t wast e no t i me at al l

GALLI LEO
Don' t hear t he bel l but you answer t he
cal l

SCARAMOUCHE AND GALI LEO
I t comes t o you as t o us al l

SCARAMOUCHE
We' r e j ust wai t i ng f or t he hammer t o
f al l . Hey!

GALLI LEO
Hey!

SCARAMOUCHE
Yeah!
GALLI LEO
Yeah! The hammer t o f al l

SCARAMOUCHE
Oh ev' r y ni ght and ev' r y day
A l i t t l e pi ece of you i s f al l i ng away
But l i f t your f ace t he west er n way
baby
Bui l d your muscl es as your body decays

SCARAMOUCHE AND GALI LEO
Toe your l i ne and pl ay t hei r game

SCARAMOUCHE
Let t he anaest het i c cover i t al l

SCARAMOUCHE AND GALI LEO
Ti l one day t hey cal l your name

GALLI LEO
You' l l know i t ' s t i me f or t he hammer
t o f al l . Yeah!

SCARAMOUCHE
Ri ch or poor
Or f amous f or your t r ut h
I t ' s al l t he same

SCARAMOUCHE AND GALI LEO
Oh no, oh no

SCARAMOUCHE
Lock your door but r ai n i s pour i ng
Thr ough your wi ndow pane

SCARAMOUCHE AND GALI LEO
Oh no

SCARAMOUCHE
Baby, now your st r uggl es al l i n vai n

SCARAMOUCHE AND GALI LEO
What t he hel l we f i ght i ng f or ?

GALLI LEO
J ust sur r ender and i t won' t hur t at
al l

SCARAMOUCHE AND GALI LEO
You' ve j ust got t i me t o say your
pr ayer s

GALLI LEO
Whi l e you' r e wai t i ng f or t he hammer
t o. .

SCARAMOUCHE AND GALI LEO
Hammer t o f al l

GALLI LEO
Ay- oh

SCARAMOUCHE
Ay- oh

GALLI LEO
The hammer t o f al l

SCARAMOUCHE
Ee- ah

GALLI LEO
Ee- ah

SCARAMOUCHE
The hammer t o f al l

SCARAMOUCHE AND GALI LEO
Hey! Yeah!
Whi l e you' r e wai t i ng f or t he hammer t o
hammer t o f al l .

Gi ve i t t o me one mor e t i me

SCARAMOUCHE
( Spoken)
I n your dr eams mat e!

SCENE TEN. THE SEVEN SEAS DRI NKI NG CLUB.

We di scover POP, who was i nt er r ogat ed i n t he f i r st scene.
He i s a bar man, he pol i shes gl asses and si ngs THESE ARE THE
DAYS OF OUR LI VES ver y mour nf ul l y.

POP
Somet i mes I get t o f eel i ng
I was back i n t he ol d days l ong ago
When we wer e ki ds when we wer e young
Thi ngs seemed so per f ect you know?
The days wer e endl ess we wer e cr azy we wer e young
The sun was al ways shi ni ng we j ust l i ved f or f un
Somet i mes i t seems l i ke l at el y I j ust don' t know
Most of my l i f e' s been j ust a show
Now as t he chor us ki cks i n t he l i ght s come up on t he Seven
Seas Bar , f ul l of haggar d ol d hi ppi es dr owni ng t hei r
sor r ows.

POP AND THE PATRONS OF THE
BAR
Those wer e t he days of our l i ves
The bad t hi ngs i n l i f e wer e so f ew
Those days ar e al l gone now
But one t hi ng r emai ns

POP
When I l ook and I f i nd no change
( ooh ooh ah)
You can' t t ur n back t he cl ock
You can' t t ur n back t he t i de
Ai n' t t hat a shame?
I ' d l i ke t o go back one t i me on a r ol l er coast er r i de
When l i f e' s j ust a game
No use i n si t t i ng and a t hi nki ng on what you di d
When you can l ay back and enj oy i t t hr ough t he ki ds
Somet i mes i t seems l i ke l at el y
I j ust don' t know
Bet t er si t back and go wi t h t he f l ow

POP AND THE PATRONS OF THE
BAR
Cos t hese ar e t he days of our l i ves
( These ar e t he days of our l i ves)
They' r e f l own i n t he swi f t ness of t i me
These days ar e al l gone now
But one t hi ng r emai ns

POP
When I l ook and I f i nd hope st i l l sur vi ves
( ooh ooh ah)
Oh yeah!

The bar i s sur r ounded by nat ur al beaut y, t her e ar e
mount ai ns and t hr ough t he gr eat wi ndows of t he bar can be
seen a vast l ake. We not i ce t hat Bi g Macca, Ar et ha and
Madonna et c. ar e si t t i ng at a t abl e but t hey ar e not l i ke
bef or e, t hey seeml ost and empt y. At t he end of t he song
Gal i l eo and Scar amouche ent er , t hey see t hei r ol d f r i ends
and ar e del i ght ed.

GALI LEO
Si r Paul McCar t ney! Meat l oaf ! Bob t he
Bui l der ! You guys ar e al l her e! I t ' s
so good t o see you!

SCARAMOUCHE
How di d you escape?

GALI LEO
Thi s i s f ant ast i c. The Bohemi ans ar e
back! The f i ght i s on!

But t hei r ol d f r i ends ar e now br ai n f r i ed zombi es.

BM
Do I know you, ki d?

Pop i nt er j ect s f r ombehi nd t he bar

POP
Your f r i ends ar en' t t her e dude. Thei r
bodi es ar e but t hei r spi r i t s ar e gone.
They' ve been pr ocessed man.

Gal i l eo and Scar amouche go t o t he bar .

GALI LEO
What do you mean?

POP
Thi s i s wher e t hey al l come, t he guys
and chi cks who t r i ed t o br eak on
t hr ough t o t he ot her si de and f ai l ed.
They come t o dr own t hemsel ves i n The
Seven Seas of Rhye, Rye whi skey man,
t he l ast comf or t of t hose who have
r ocked.

Pop put s a bot t l e of J ack on t he count er .

SCARAMOUCHE
Why do t hey come her e?

POP
You mean apar t f r omi n or der t o get
per manent l y pi ssed?

SCARAMOUCHE
Yes.

POP
Ther e' s somet hi ng about t hi s pl ace,
I t ' s l i ke t her e' s a spi r i t her e. Long
ago, bef or e gl obal war mi ng, t he l ake
was much smal l er , who knows maybe
t her e' s somet hi ng beneat h t he wat er .
Somet hi ng t hose washed out mot her s
need t o be cl ose t o.

SCARAMOUCHE
So who ar e you?

POP
I was a l i br ar i an, Ast r al Babe.
At t he pl ace wher e t he secr et hi st or y
i s kept . I got a l i t t l e t oo i nt er est ed
i n t he st uf f I was r eadi ng.

SCARAMOUCHE
They pr ocessed you?

POP
They t r i ed but I guess I knew t oo
much, t hey coul dn' t zap i t al l . I may
be pr et t y scr ewed up but I ' mst i l l t he
most t oget her dude at t he Seven Seas.
That ' s why I ' mt he bar man.

SCARAMOUCHE
So you r emember anyt hi ng of what you
r ead? Of t he secr et hi st or i es?

POP
I onl y r emember one st or y. A l egend so
st r ong and power f ul t hat t hey coul d
not wi pe i t f r ommy br ai n. Woul d you
l i ke t o hear i t ?

SCARAMOUCHE
No, I t hought we' d j ust have a qui ck
dr i nk and bugger of f !

POP
Ouch! Bal l s br oken!

GALI LEO
Wel l per haps you coul d t el l us
somet hi ng of what you know. Mr Um. . .

POP
Pop, t hey cal l me Pop.

GALI LEO
Wel l we woul d l ove t o hear i t . Oh wi se
and myst er i ous dude cal l ed Pop.

POP
Wel l , i t seems t hat a l og t i me ago i n
t he f i r st decade of t he 21st cent ur y,
t her e wer e t hose who f or esaw t he
ni ght mar e t hat was t o come. Thi s was
at t he ver y begi nni ng of musi c
homogeni zat i on, a t i me of boy bands
and gi r l bands. . . and boy and gi r l
bands. . . and gi r l bands wi t h a coupl e
of boys t hat l ooked l i ke gi r l s. . . They
cal l ed t hemsel ves bands but t hey
wer en' t bands at al l . They wer e j ust
pr et t y pr et t y dancer s wi t h mul t i - t r ack
voi ces.

GALI LEO
I t ' s been t hat way ever si nce.

POP
Exact l y. A t hr ee hundr ed year bum
vi be.

GALI LEO
I t al l sounds so pl ausi bl e, but how
can you be so sur e.

POP
Because i t was f or et ol d. Take a l ook
at t hi s.

Pop cr osses behi nd t he bar and pr oduces a vi deo t ape.

GALLI LEO
Wow! What i s i t ?

POP
I t ' s a ' VI - DEO' . . . a VI - DEO TARP' . An
anci ent scr ol l of hol y t ext .

BOHEMI ANS
Ohhhhh. . . . . .

POP
They al l want i t you know. They al l
want t he ' VI - DEO TARP' , but i ' ve got
i t , i t ' s Mi ne. . . i t ' s my pr eci ous. I
st ol e i t on t he day I was capt ur ed and
t hr ough t en l ong year s of hel l i n a
l aser cel l I ' ve kept i t
hi dden. . . Secr et ed. . . out of
si ght . . . wedged deep wi t hi n t he mur ky
cl ef t of my sweat y. . .

SCARAMOUCHE
That i s t oo much i nf or mat i on Pop! J ust
t el l us what i t i s.

POP
I t ' s a message f r omt he past ! A
war ni ng l ai d down f or us i n
ant i qui t y. . . wat ch oh ye seeker s af t er
t r ut h. . . I wi l l now pl ace t he `VI - DEO`
i n t he `TEELEEVYSEEOWN` l i st en t o
pr eci ous and l ear n!

Thi s i s a BI G MOMENT. Pop i nser t s t he t ape and pr esses
pl ay. We hear t he f amous openi ng moment s f r omBO RAP.

QUEEN ON TAPE
I s t hi s t he r eal l i f e?
I s t hi s j ust f ant asy?
Caught i n a l andsl i de,
No escape f r omr eal i t y.
Open your eyes, l ook up t o t he ski es and see.

That i s al l t her e i s. Pop pr esses t he st op but t on.

POP
That ' s al l t her e i s. The r est
unf or t unat el y i s an epi sode of
somet hi ng cal l ed I ' ma Cel ebr i t y Get
Me Out of Her e. . . . . What a bunch of
Twat s!

GALLI LEO
But t hose f our beaut i f ul gi r l s we j ust
hear d.

POP
Act ual l y, t hey' r e bl okes.

GALLI LEO
Anyway what t hey sang was so
beaut i f ul , what does i t mean?

POP
Doesn' t i t sound l i ke obvi ous? " I s
t hi s t he r eal l i f e? I s t hi s j ust
f ant asy?"

SCARAMOUCHE
Yeah

POP
Cyber space! The scr ol l speaks of a
soul l ess, vi r t ual wor l d wher e t he ki ds
woul d be " caught i n a l andsl i de" of
Comput er Recor ded Anodyne Pop. . . C- R- A
P!

GALI LEO
Cr ap!

POP
Exact l y! The hol y ' VI - DEO TARP'
pr edi ct s a t i me when " Cr ap" woul d
domi nat e t he char t s. The t ext begged
t he ki ds t o " Open t hei r eyes. . "

GALI LEO
" Look up t o t he ski es. . . "

POP
" And see" .

SCARAMOUCHE
But who cr eat ed t hi s scr ol l ?

GALI LEO
Who wer e t hese geni us' s, t hese
vi si onar y pr ophet s?

POP
War r i or s, t i t ans! Member s of a r ock
f r eedomf i ght er col l ect i ve known
as. . . Queen! I sai d Known as QUEEN!
And Havi ng i ssued t hei r war ni ng Queen
deci ded t o f i ght back!

Pop pul l s chai r away f r oma Bohemi an.

POP ( cont ' d)
Al r i ght Cl i f f ?

CLI FF RI CHARD
J ust a bi t pi ssed pop.

POP
Don' t wor r y about Cl i f f Ri char d. He' s
i ndest r uct i bl e! Now, I n or der t o
pr ot ect t he f ut ur e of Rock n' Rol l ,
Queen deci ded t o bur y t hei r f i nest
i nst r ument s agai nst a t i me when t her e
woul d be none!

GALI LEO
You mean r eal i nst r ument s st i l l exi st ?
Somewher e, wai t i ng t o be f ound!

POP
Yes. But f or t hr ee hundr ed year s t hey
have l ai n hi dden. Queen wove deep and
t er r i bl e spel l s t o pr ot ect t he
pr eci ous weapons of f r eedomf r omabuse
by t hose not wor t hy of pl ayi ng t hem.

SCARAMOUCHE
So what happened t o Queen?

POP
The f i r st of t hei r number di ed young.
Too wi l d, t oo beaut i f ul f or t hi s
wor l d. The ot her t hr ee r ocked on i nt o
t he new cent ur y, pausi ng onl y t o
cr eat e a smash hi t musi cal based on
t hei r gr eat est hi t s. Event ual l y, al l
t hr ee wer e capt ur ed by Gl obal sof t and
secr et l y ki l l ed. . . . . I t i s sai d t hat
t he hai r i est of t he gang, a man named
Br 1- ann was gr ant ed a f i nal wi sh
bef or e execut i on, he asked t o be
al l owed t o pl ay j ust one l ast gui t ar
sol o. . . . . And so was abl e t o del ay hi s
deat h by t hr ee and a hal f days.

Suddenl y we hear VAST SOUNDS. . . . . I t i s t he noi se of WATER,
mi l l i ons of gal l ons of r ushi ng wat er . . . The whol e of t he
Seven Sea i s shaki ng.

SCARAMOUCHE
What ' s goi ng on!

POP
Don' t f r eak out sweet l ady, t hey' r e
j ust dr ai ni ng t he l ake, t hey st eal our
wat er al l t he t i me now, i t ' s al most
down t o i t s or i gi nal l evel . . .

Gal i l eo has seen somet hi ng. . . .

GALI LEO
Look. . . . Look! What i s t hat , emer gi ng
f r omt he wat er s? A man!

SCARAMOUCHE
A st at ue

GALI LEO
A her o made f r ombr onze and r ock.

Ever yone t ur ns t o l ook, even t he zombi es know t hat
somet hi ng ext r aor di nar y i s happeni ng. . . . as an i nst r ument al
br eak f r omWE ARE THE CHAMPI ONS pl ays, upst age, t he scr eens
r i se and now t her e i s a dazzl i ng vi ew acr oss t he gor geous
l ake, i n t he mi ddl e, hal f submer ged but sl owl y bei ng
r eveal ed, bat hed i n l i ght , st andi ng her oi c and pr oud, i t
i s. . . . .

THE FREDDI E STATUE! !

SCARAMOUCHE
Who i s i t , who does i t r epr esent ?

POP
I know t hi s man. . . I saw many i mages
i n t he Secr et Hi st or y. . . . He i s one of
t he f r eedomf i ght er s of Queen! . . . t he
f i r st t o di e. . . . The gr eat est ,
br i ght est st ar of hi s t i me!

Now t he penny i s dr oppi ng f or Scar amouche.

SCARAMOUCHE
St ar ! Br i ght st ar ! Gazzer , your dr eam!
The br i ght br i ght st ar t hat wi l l show
t he way. The st ar i sn' t a st ar i n t he
sky at al l , but a r ock st ar ! !

Fr eaky.

GALI LEO
But what ? What i s he showi ng us?

SCARAMOUCHE
The way! I t must be, t he way t o t he
pl ace of l i vi ng r ock! Li vi ng r ock
i sn' t gr ani t e at al l , i t ' s musi c!

GALI LEO
But Queen bur i ed t he i nst r ument s
t her e. How can i nst r ument s be bur i ed
i n musi c?

POP
The pl ace of l i vi ng r ock, man. Li ve
r ock and r ol l musi c! He' s l ooki ng
t owar ds i t dude! The st ar i s f aci ng
NORTH! Wel l Nor t h and a l i t t l e bi t
west act ual l y. To t he pl ace he once
r ul ed! The pl ace wher e peopl e came
t oget her t o be t oget her . . .

GALI LEO
The pl ace wher e t he champi ons pl ayed?

POP
Yes, t he pl ace of Champi ons! The ol d
ar ena. . . I ' msur e of i t ! The machi nes
may have dest r oyed t he st ands and t he
t ower s, but t hey coul d never dest r oy
t he vi be of what t hey once
cal l ed. . . Wembl ey St adi um!

SCARAMOUCHE
We have t o move qui ckl y, now t hat t he
st ar has shown us t he way, i t can
gui de t he pol i ce t her e t oo, t her e' s no
t i me t o l ose.

POP
I ' l l come wi t h you, I can show you how
t o get t her e.

GALI LEO
But we need t r anspor t ! We need wheel s!

The openi ng bar s of BI CYCLE ki cks i n.

BOHEMI ANS
Bi cycl e! Bi cycl e! Bi cycl e!

SCARAMOUCHE
Bugger t hat , we have t o save r ock n'
r ol l ! We can' t t ur n up on a bi ke!

POP
I t ' s ver y eco.

SCARAMOUCHE
But not ver y cool .

POP
You' r e r i ght Cr azy Lady. We' l l t ake my
Har l ey! Rock' s t r anspor t of choi ce.
Not as f ast , cl ean or ef f i ci ent as a
J apanese bi ke but i t sounds humungus!

Pop' s Har l ey appear s on t he t r ap.

POP ( cont ' d)
You get on behi nd me Baby. Ni ce. I t ' s
been year s si nce I ' ve f el t t he sof t
war mt hi ghs of a r ebel chi ck wr apped
r ound my ski nny whi t e ar se.

SCARAMOUCHE
For get i t , I ' l l go i n f r ont .

POP
Wel l al l r i ght but don' t bl ame me i f I
push t he bone.

SCARAMOUCHE
I f el t t hat . . . . . Gazzer , get on behi nd
me. And don' t get any f r esh i deas.

GALI LEO
I t ' s t i me. Ti me t o avenge t he mi ght y
Queen. . . . Ti me t o avenge t hemal l .

SCARAMOUCHE
The wor d r hymes wi t h banker !

POP
Get on your bi kes and r i de! ! !

The t hr ee of t hemhave mount ed up and as t he cr ashi ng r i f f s
of Headl ong once mor e assaul t and del i ght t he senses, t he
bi ke r oar s i nt o act i on.

GALI LEO
Rock n' Rol l ! !

SCARAMOUCHE
Get down! !

POP
Fi nd me a bat , I want t o bi t e i t ' s
head of f ! ! No sl eep t i l l Hammer smi t h!

And t hey si ng a chor us of Headl ong. . . . . .

SCARAMOUCHE AND GALI LEO AND
POP
And you' r e r ush- i n' ( Headl ong)

SCARAMOUCHE
Out of cont r ol .

SCARAMOUCHE AND GALI LEO AND
POP
You t hi nk your ( so st r ong)

POP
But t her e ai n' t no st oppi n'

SCARAMOUCHE AND GALI LEO
And t her e' s not hi n' you can, not hi n'
you can, not hi n' you can, not hi n' you
can, not hi n' you can, not hi n' you can,
not hi n' you can do about i t !

ALL
Headl ong!

As t hey do t hi s t he set changes behi nd t hemand t hey
ar r i ve at . . . . . Wembl ey. . . . They get of f t he bi ke, t hey ar e
al one. I t i s col d and bl eak. . . . . t he wi nd bl ows, i t i s a
desol at e wast e l and. Not hi ng but r ubbl e and r ubbi sh. I t i s
mi ser abl e. Gal i l eo i s ver y br ought down.

POP
Excuse me whi l e I par k t he bi ke!

Pop wvaes hi s hands t o send t he bi ke down t he t r ap!

GALI LEO
Ther e' s not hi ng her e. Not hi ng at al l .

POP
Bummer .

GALI LEO
No i nst r ument s, not even any r ock.

POP
J ust r ubbl e.

GALI LEO
Thi s pl ace must have been dest r oyed
cent ur i es ago. I t ' s no pl ace of
champi ons anymor e i f i t ever was. I ' ve
f ai l ed Scar amouche. I don' t know wher e
t he hol y axe i s hi dden and I wi l l
never pl ay t he l ost r i f f s, my dr eams
never come t r ue.

SCARAMOUCHE
Don' t bl ame your sel f Gazzer , i t i sn' t
you' r e f aul t .

GALI LEO
Thanks Scar amouche.

SCARAMOUCHE
No, I mean i t ' s not your f aul t you' r e
a spi nel ess, gut l ess, whi ngi ng l i t t l e
cr y baby!

GALI LEO
Excuse me?

SCARAMOUCHE
I know why you can' t f i nd t he gui t ar
mat e. You r emember what Pop sai d?
" Queen wove deep and t er r i bl e spel l s
t o pr ot ect t he i nst r ument s f r omt hose
not wor t hy of pl ayi ng t hem" .

GALI LEO
You mean me?

POP
Ouch!

SCARAMOUCHE
What do you t hi nk t he Mi ght y Queen
di ed f or ? So t hat you can act l i ke a
pat het i c l i t t l e cowar d! You want ed t o
be a r ock st ar ? Huh! They woul dn' t
even have you i n a boy band!

POP
Ooh!

GALI LEO
Hey Babe! I ' mget t i ng ki nd of t i r ed of
t he sel f r i ght eous t hi ng OK! We t r i ed,
we f ai l ed. The i nst r ument s ar en' t
her e.

SCARAMOUCHE
Then we' l l have t o make musi c wi t hout
t hem!

GALI LEO
What a cappel l a?

POP
No!
SCARAMOUCHE
I f necessar y.

POP
I t ' s never necessar y!

SCARAMOUCHE
I sn' t t hat what i t was al l about ?. . . i n
t he begi nni ng? Ki ds doi ng i t f or
t hemsel ves! Pl ayi ng i n t he st r eet s! I n
t he gar ages!

POP
Yes! Yes! I t was!

SCARAMOUCHE
So come on Gazzer , wher e' s t he bl oke I
used t o l ove, wher e' s t he bl oke wi t h
t he l ead i n hi s penci l ? Wher e i s
Shagi l eo Gi gol o?

GALLI LEO
Ri ght her e babe!

SCARAMOUCHE
Wel l pr ove i t t hen, ar e we gonna r ock
or what ?

GALI LEO
Yes! Yes we ar e! I don' t need some ol d
second hand i nst r ument s t o make musi c.
I can do i t mysel f ! The musi c of a
human bei ng, not a machi ne.

SCARAMOUCHE
Ri ght on!

POP
Hel l o Wembl ey! !

GALI LEO
But . . . . Not wi t hout you Scar amouche.
You r emember what Br i t ney Spear s sai d
bef or e he di ed? Maki ng musi c i s about
l ove. . . . you do i t f or your baby. . . and
I can onl y do i t f or you. I l ove you
Scar amouche wi t h al l my hear t . Pl ease
f or gi ve me. Pl ease come back t o me
because i f you don' t I don' t know i f I
can do t hi s t hi ng and t he ki ds wi l l be
f or ever i n chai ns.

SCARAMOUCHE
God! Tal k about emot i onal bl ackmai l .
Come her e you si l l y banker !

She gr abs hi mand t hey have a huge snog.

POP
Ooh, I ' ve gone al l t i ngl y.

SCARAMOUCHE
So l et ' s r ock.

Gal i l eo i s t r yi ng, desper at el y seeki ng t o summon up
i nspi r at i on f r omwi t hi n he i s t r ul y r eady but i t i s not
easy. . . . He i s t ense. . . Desper at e, t r yi ng t o summon up t he
spi r i t . . .

GALI LEO
I . . . . don' t know how t o st ar t . . . . .

Scar a i s eggi ng hi mon.

SCARAMOUCHE
Come on Buddy! You' r e a boy. . . .

Pop al so t r i es t o encour age Gal i l eo.

POP
Make a bi g noi se!

SCARAMOUCHE
Pl ayi ng i n t he st r eet !

POP
Gonna be a bi g man some day. . . . .

GALI LEO
Hey! Hey t hat ' s i t ! ! . . . .

SCARAMOUCHE
What i s?

Tent at i vl y Gal i l eo, echoes t hei r wor ds, but as a chant . . . .

GALI LEO
B. . . B. . . Buddy. . . Buddy your a
boy. . . . make a bi g noi se. . .
Pl ayi ng i n t he st r eet gonna be a bi g
man some day. . . .

POP
What a cur i ousl y exhi l ar at i ng
col l ect i on of wor ds.

Now Gal i l eo i s r eal l y summoni ng i t up. He pauses, t hen he
begi ns t o st amp t he gr ound t o gat her hi s st r engt h and
cont i nues.

GALI LEO
You got mud on your f ace, You bi g
di sgr ace. Ki cki ng your can al l over
t he pl ace

Now somet hi ng magi cal happens. I n t he di st ance t he dr um
beat begi ns.

GALI LEO ( cont ' d)
Li st en Scar amouche. I t ' s t he beat , t he
beat i s r et ur ni ng.

SCARAMOUCHE
The beat i ng of our hear t s!

GALI LEO
Hear t s of sol i d r ock!

Gal i l eo si ngs t o t he beat wi t h gr owi ng conf i dence.

GALLI LEO
Buddy you' r e a boy. Make a bi g
noi se. . . Pl ayi ng i n t he st r eet gonna be
a bi g man some day. . . You got mud on
your f ace, you bi g di sgr ace. Ki cki ng
your can al l over t he pl ace

POP
Si ngi ng.

GALI LEO
We wi l l we wi l l r ock you!

POP
Yeah!

GALLI LEO AND SCARAMOUCHE
We wi l l we wi l l r ock you!

POP
Come on!

GALLI LEO AND SCARAMOUCHE
We wi l l we wi l l r ock. . .

Now somet hi ng f abul ous happens! Somet hi ng magi cal !

The f amous gui t ar r i f f f r omWE WI LL ROCK YOU r i ps t hr ough
t he ai r and as i t does so f r oma gr eat pi l e of
r ubbl e. . . Fr omt he ashes of Wembl ey St adi umt her e emer ges a
gui t ar ! Hal f embedded i n t he r ock!

SCARAMOUCHE
What ' s happeni ng?

POP
Thunder bol t and l i ght eni ng, ver y, ver y
f r i ght eni ng.

GALI LEO
Scar amouche! Look! An i nst r ument ! A
musi cal i nst r ument !

SCARAMOUCHE
So t hey exi st af t er al l !

POP
The dr eammachi ne! The most power f ul
weapon of f r eedomknown t o man! An
el ect r i c gui t ar ! Sei ze i t Shagi l eo
Gi gol o, f or none but t he j ust shal l
pl ay t he hai r y one' s mi ght y axe. None
but t he ki ds!

SCARAMOUCHE
Wow! You' r e my gui t ar her o!

GALI LEO
Yes I amBaby! And now! Let ' s r ock!

He t r i es t o pl ay i t but i s compl et e cr ap

POP
Oh no man! The r ebi r t h of moder n j azz!

SCARAMOUCHE
I t hought you wer e r eal l y good Gaz. . . .
No r eal l y!

Scar amouche gr abs t he gui t ar and r i ps of f a coupl e of huge
ki l l er chor ds and a bi t of di ddl i ng.

GALLI LEO
The hai r y God of Rock i s back and t hi s
t i me he' s a gi r l .

SCARAMOUCHE
So I ' l l pl ay, you si ng.

GALLI LEO
Yeah!

POP
And I ' l l be a gr oupi e. Anyone want t o
see my t i t s?. . . . . ( Act ual l y my ni ppl e
r i ngs have gone a bi t sept i c! )

SCARAMOUCHE
Shut up Pop!

POP
Recei ved and under st ood, but f i r st . . .

Pop whi ps out a l i t t l e pal mpi l ot .

GALLI LEO
What ar e you doi ng Pop?

POP
What do you t hi nk? Hacki ng i nt o t he
Gl obal sof t mai nf r ame and e mai l i ng t he
power of r ock t o ever y Ga Ga ki d on
t he pl anet . Soon t hey' l l al l be
Bohemi ans.

SCARAMOUCHE
But Pop, t he Ki l l er Queen wi l l get
your emai l t oo!

Pop gl ances at hi s modem.
POP
Oh no, she j ust di d.

The scr een f l i cker s and Ki l l er Queen appear s t o bi g gui t ar
chor ds.

KI LLER QUEEN
Who dar es pl ay l i ve r ock musi c on
Pl anet Mal l ?

THE BAND
We do Ki l l er Queen! Al r i ght ?

KI LLER QUEEN
Who?

THE BAND
Shagi l l eo Gi gol o' s Band!

GALI LEO
Di d you hear t hat Scar amouche? I ' ve
got a band. . . now t he ki ds can see t he
t r ue power of r ock. Boys unl eash t he
Mi ght y Ri f f s and t i e t hat mot her down!

The band pl ay a power r i f f as t he Ki l l er Queen scr een f l ys
out !

KI LLER QUEEN
No, no, no, no, no. . . . . . . . !

The Ki l l er Queen scr een di sappear s.

GALLI LEO
Yeah! Pop, br i ng me my mi ke.

POP
I ' ma gr oupi e and a r oadi e! I ' l l have
t o have sex wi t h mysel f ! So, no
change t her e t hen!

SCARAMOUCHE
Shut up Pop!

Pop col l ect s mi ke st and f or Gal i l eo.

POP
One t wo. . . One t wo. . .

GALLI LEO
And now l et s r ock!

Bohemi ans appear , t hey ar e i n a st at e of ecst at i c gr ace.
They have been dr awn by t he musi c. . . I t i s al most l i ke some
pagan r el i gi ous gat her i ng. . . Gazza smashes back i nt o t he
song.

GALI LEO
Buddy you' r e a young man har d man
Shout i ng i n t he st r eet gonna t ake on
t he wor l d some day

GALI LEO AND SCARAMOUCHE
You got bl ood on your f ace you bi g
di sgr ace Wavi ng your banner al l over
t he pl ace

ALL
We wi l l we wi l l r ock you

POP
Ever ybody

ALL
We wi l l we wi l l r ock you

POP
Si ng i t ki ds!

ALL
We wi l l we wi l l r ock you

We wi l l we wi l l r ock you

POP
Si ng i t ! Mmm

ALL
We wi l l we wi l l r ock you

POP
Ever ybody

ALL
We wi l l we wi l l r ock you we wi l l we
wi l l ROCK YOOOOOU!

Dur i ng t he gui t ar sol o t he musi c changes t o WE ARE THE
CHAMPI ONS.

GALI LEO
I ' ve pai d my dues t i me af t er t i me
I ' ve done my sent ence but commi t t ed no cr i me
And bad mi st akes I ' ve made a f ew
I ' ve had my shar e of sand ki cked i n my f ace
But I ' ve come t hough

REST OF COMPANY
And I need t o go

ALL
On and on and on and on
We ar e t he champi ons my f r i ends
And we' l l keep on f i ght i ng t o t he end
We ar e t he champi ons
We ar e t he champi ons

PRI NCI PLES ( AND ENSEMBLE)
No t i me f or l oser s
( Ooh)
Cause we ar e t he champi ons
( We ar e t he champi ons)
Of t he wor l d
( We ar e t he champi ons my f r i ends)
We ar e t he champi ons
We ar e t he champi ons
No t i me f or l oser s
( Ooh)
Cause we ar e t he champi ons
( We ar e t he champi ons)

GALLI LEO
Of t he wor l d
( Aah)
Wor l d
( Aah)
Wor l d
( Aah)

At t he end of t he song t he show seems t o be over and t he
audi ence appl aud. . . . but no. . . . suddenl y t he l i ght s go out
on al l but Gal i l eo and Scar amouche. . . .

I t as i f t hey ar e al one on st age once mor e. Gal i l eo begi ns
t o si ng. . . . BOHEMI AN RHAPSODY. Scar amouche j oi ns hi m.

GALI LEO
Mama j ust ki l l ed a man
Put a gun agai nst hi s head
Pul l ed my t r i gger now he' s dead
Mama l i f e had j ust begun
But now I ' ve gone and t hr own i t al l away
Mama Ooh di dn' t mean t o make you cr y
I f I ' mnot back agai n t hi s t i me t omor r ow
Car r y on car r y on
As i f not hi ng r eal l y mat t er s

SCARAMOUCHE
Too l at e my t i me has come
Send shi ver s down my spi ne
Body' s achi ng al l t he t i me
Goodbye ever ybody I ' ve got t o go
Got t o l eave you al l behi nd t o f ace t he t r ut h

GALI LEO
Mama ooh I don' t wanna di e
( Ooh anyway t he wi nd bl ows Ooh)
Somet i mes I wi sh I ' d never been bor n at al l
( Ooh ooh ooh ooh Ooh ooh)
I see a l i t t l e si l houet t o of a man

ENSEMBLE
Scar amouche Scar amouche wi l l you do t he f andango
Thunder bol t and l i ght ni ng

GALI LEO
Ver y ver y f r i ght eni ng me
Gal i l eo, Gal i l eo oh

ENSEMBLE
Gal i l eo, Gal i l eo, Gal i l eo Fi gar o
Magni f i co Oh oh oh oh

GALI LEO
I ' mj ust a poor boy
Nobody l oves me

ENSEMBLE
He' s j ust a poor boy f r oma poor f ami l y
Spar e hi mhi s l i f e f r omt hi s monst r osi t y

GALI LEO0
Easy come, easy go
Wi l l you l et me go?

ENSEMBLE
Bi smi l l ah! No
We wi l l not l et you go, l et hi mgo
Bi smi l l ah! We wi l l not l et you go, l et hi mgo
Bi smi l l ah! We wi l l not l et you go,

GALI LEO
Let me go
Never never l et me go

ENSEMBLE
l et me go
Wi l l not l et you go, l et me go
Wi l l not l et you go, l et me go oh oh oh oh
No no no no no no no

GALI LEO AND SCARAMOUCHE
Oh mama mi a, mama mi a
( Mama mi a l et me go)
Beel zebub has a devi l put asi de f or me, f or me f or me!
( Beel zebub has a devi l put asi de f or me, f or me f or me! )
So you t hi nk you can st one me and spi t i n my eye
So you t hi nk you can l ove me and l eave me t o di e

KHASHOGGI
Oh baby, can' t do t hi s t o me baby
( Oh baby, can' t do t hi s t o me baby)

KI LLER QUEEN AND KHASHOGGI
J ust got t a get out , j ust got t a get r i ght out of her e
( J ust got t a get out , j ust got t a get r i ght out of her e)
Ooh Ooh yeah ooh yeah

GALI LEO
Not hi ng r eal l y mat t er s

SCARAMOUCHE
Anyone can see

GALI LEO
Not hi ng r eal l y mat t er s t o me
Anyway t he wi nd bl ows. . .

Toget her t hey si ng t he song up t o " somet i mes wi sh I ' d never
been bor n at al l "

Then wi t h " I see a l i t t l e si l houet t o of a man" ot her
Bohemi ans begi n t o be pi cked out i n l i ght . . .
Aah

Thr ough t he whol e " GALI LEO GALI LEO" bi t , i ndi vi dual voi ces
and f i gur es ar e pi cked out ar ound t he st age unt i l Wi t h
" Bi smi l l ah! " The whol e t hi ng EXPLODES back i nt o vast
chor al l i ght .

Then of cour se at t he end i t al l r et ur ns t o j ust Gal i l eo
and Scar amouche al one i n t he dar kness f or t he l ast bi t
" Not hi ng r eal l y mat t er s et c"

Then even t hey di sappear i nt o t he dar k. Onl y Gal i l eo' s
voi ce i s l ef t .

. . . . . . Anyway t he wi nd bl ows. . . . . . .

THE END.

The encor es and bows ar e enl i vened by t he gl or i ous pomp
r ock of Queen' s own ar r angement of GOD SAVE THE QUEEN.