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What Ifs

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70 views1 page

What Ifs

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api-265625890
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© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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PSYCHOLOGICAL SERVICES CLINIC, INC.

352 Arch Street 405 Bloom Road 140 Market Street


Sunbury, PA 17801 Danville, PA 17821 Bloomsburg, PA 17815
(570) 286-5081 Fax: 286-3011 (570) 275-7770 (570) 389-1249 Fax: 389-1728



THE
WHAT IFS
By Dr. Donna Pinter

Along with the what ifs in our lives, lets include the should haves, would
haves, and the could haves. We can also throw in the regrets, especially the ones that
wake us at 4a.m. The what ifs come in all sizes from the very minuscule to the super
gargantuan.

As part of my daily ritual, I cross the Susquehanna River at least twice a day,
going to and from work. Every spring, summer and fall, the tranquil picture of long boats
being rowed by people in perfect unison would stir a longing within me - a what if I
could be part of this bucolic scene. I shared my thoughts with a friend who told me that
these rowers were all women. Part of this rowing ritual includes that the rowers have to
carry the long and very heavy boat to and from the river. I explained to my friend that I,
for medical reasons, cannot lift any significant weight. Never fear my friend replied as
there just happens to be a position open for a coxswain. Fortunately, I have reached a
point in my life that my need to know exceeds the fear of sounding dumb.

Whats a coxswain? I was told that a coxswain is the steerman (or woman) of a
racing boat who has a bullhorn to call out directions. Cool. The following week I was
actually there in the boat FACING all those rowers with my bullhorn in hand. I am
somewhat dyslexic and have a problem reversing things. There I was floating down the
river with the setting sun casting small flecks of golden light on the water, and the harsh
reality of left and right impacted on me. Not since marching band formations in high
school had the importance of left and right jarred me. After nearly, and ever so closely,
dumping the whole boat of rowers, not once but three times, I retired from my brief
career of coxswain. The looks of relief on the faces of the rowers and program director
said it all. Now when I cross the river, my what if is no longer present. I am content to
enjoy the rowing vicariously. The lesson here is that if you try this kind of a what if, you
dont need to succeed but you get points and much satisfaction for trying.

Granted, some of our past decisions may not have been the best, but remember
that we made those choices with the information we then had and who we were at that
time. We need to try new things, taking risks while keeping in mind, without dwelling, that
there are intelligent risks and then there are those risks that are just dumb. Remember
that all our life experiences go into the essence of who we are and often our
miscalculations are among the better parts of our growth. We need to stop worrying
about looking foolish and give ourselves credit for trying.

I can only imagine the great Mark Twain walking along his beloved Mississippi
River when he said:
Dear Friends I have known a great many troubles in life, but most of them never
happened.

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