hat The Bible

hat The Bible

Says About
Says About

Sex
Sex
W
W
Copyright AIBI-International 1996-2006
May be freely used for non-profit Christian ministry but may not be sold in any ay!
Introduction
Most of the arti"les in this eboo# ere ritten beteen 199$-2006 as is ought to anser %arious &uestions by
Christians' the bul# ere ritten in the late 1990(s! )ome "hapters ha%e been ritten by other authors' and this
is a"#noledged here%er it o""urs! )ome "hapters ere ritten hile I as single' others after I as married'
this gi%es a slightly ider perspe"ti%e to the boo#!
*his is a boo# by Christians for Christians - and ta#es the Bible seriously as the inspired and authoritati%e +ord
of ,od and the sole infallible rule for Christian life and pra"ti"e! As the boo# title implies the main topi" is -+hat
*he Bible )ays About )e./ and not hat se"ular sour"es ha%e to say!
*his boo# %ies se. as a good gift from ,od' that needs to be used isely' as it is also a %ery poerful gift that
deeply affe"ts our relationships' spiritual' emotional and intelle"tual life and the deepest fabri" of our personality!
I hope this small boo# is helpful and "onstru"ti%e and helps you to understand the Bibli"al tea"hing on a ide
range of %ery sensiti%e and "ontro%ersial topi"s "on"erning Christian se.uality!
Blessings'
0ohn 1dmiston
0une 2006
Section 1 The Basics
This section covers the following basic topics:
1. Love The Greatest Thing
2. Your Body s ! Te"ple #f The $oly %pirit
&. The 'hristian(s %truggle )ith %in
and is "eant to lay a foundation for the rest of the boo*.
ove
The Greatest Thing L
(1 Corinthians 13 NIV) If I speak in the tongues of men and of
angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a
clanging cymbal. {2} If I have the gift of prophecy and can
fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that
can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. {3} If I
give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the
flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. {4} ove is patient,
love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
{!} It is not rude, it is not self"seeking, it is not easily angered, it
keeps no record of wrongs. {#} ove does not delight in evil but
re$oices with the truth. {%} It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres. {&} ove never fails. 'ut
where there are prophecies, they will cease( where there are
tongues, they will be stilled( where there is knowledge, it will
pass away. {)} *or we know in part and we prophesy in part,
{+,} but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. {++} -hen I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought
like a child, I reasoned like a child. -hen I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. {+2} .ow we see but a
poor reflection as in a mirror( then we shall see face to face. .ow I know in part( then I shall know fully, even as I
am fully known. {+3} /nd now these three remain0 faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
As Christians' depending on our denomination' e hear the great %irtues of faith' prayer' sa"rifi"ial de%otion to
,od' prophe"y' spea#ing in tongues' missionary ser%i"e or "haritable or#s! 2ur Christian sub-"ultures tell us
that this or that is 3the greatest thing3! *hese things are %astly superior to hat the orld sees as best - money'
se. and poer! 4et' hile good' they all fall short of hat is best and that is lo%e! *here is nothing better than
being truly lo%ed and nothing that you "an do better for someone else than to truly lo%e them!
5enis de 6ougemont in his 37o%e 5e"lared3 lists o%er 80 ,ree# ords that "an be translated 3lo%e3 from the
fren9ied passion of 3mania3' to 3euonia3- dedi"ated de%otion' to the familial tenderness of 3storge3! Many of
these ere unsuitable for use by the :oly )pirit! *o ords for lo%e dominate the ;e *estament - 3agape3 and
3phileo3! Agape is the dominant ord hen it "omes to the theology of the ;*! )o mu"h so that you sometimes
hear it said that it is a 3spe"ial ,ree# ord for lo%e3! Agape is not some spe"ially in%ented ord in fa"t it is the
"ommonly used for lo%e in the )eptuagint <the ,ree# translation of the :ebre )"riptures "ommonly used in ;*
times=! It translated the :ebre (hb 3to lo%e3! It is used >? times in the ,ree# 2ld *estament and mainly means
human lo%e su"h as that in the )ong of )olomon! 7eon Morris suggests that agape as "hosen by the
translators of the )eptuagint in preferen"e to ords su"h as eros hi"h had so many negati%e "onnotations for
the reader! Agape as thus not a ord that denoted anything espe"ially good' it @ust did not "onnote anything
parti"ularly bad! :oe%er in the ;e *estament this pale ord is in%ested ith deep and poerful meanings!
Love Is Patient
*he first meaning of agape is that of patien"e! 7o%e is patient! ,od is patient ith sinners! *hey anger him
<6omans 1A1?= but :e puts up ith them' e%er hoping that they ill "hangeA
<6omans 2AB ;IC= 2r do you sho "ontempt for the ri"hes of his #indness' toleran"e and patien"e' not reali9ing
that ,od(s #indness leads you toard repentan"eD
,od is not @ust patient ith good' #ind' deser%ing people! :e is patient ith the i"#ed' the "ontemptible ' the
proud and the "ruel! In my on flash-pan anger I ha%e sometimes ished that ,od ould &ui"#ly mete out some
sudden @usti"e to someone ho had ronged me! +hat if the martyr )tephen had felt this ayD +e might ne%er
ha%e re"ei%ed the apostle Eaul if ,od had stru"# him dead then and there! Eaul as %ery aare of ,od(s great
patien"e ith him!
<1 *imothy 1A1$-16 ;IC= :ere is a trustorthy saying that deser%es full a""eptan"eA Christ 0esus "ame into the
orld to sa%e sinners--of hom I am the orst! F16G But for that %ery reason I as shon mer"y so that in me'
the orst of sinners' Christ 0esus might display his unlimited patien"e as an e.ample for those ho ould
belie%e on him and re"ei%e eternal life!
,od(s lo%e is %ery patient toards us! *he 2ld *estament des"ribes this patien"e as ere# aphayim that is 3long-
nosed3 3long of fa"e3 meaning someone ho ta#es a long hile to "hange their fa"ial e.pression! It is the
opposite of smiles one minute and anger the ne.t! ,od(s lo%e is steady and reliable!
Love Is Kind
*he se"ond great &uality of lo%e is that it is #ind! *he definition of #indness isA "hresteuomai' to sho oneself
useful' i!e! a"t bene%olentlyA--be #ind! 7o%e ma#es itself of pra"ti"al and bene%olent use! It is ne%er "ruel! It does
not impose harsh burdens but rather lifts them!
Contrast the "ruelty of legalism
<7u#e 11AB6 ;H0C= And :e said' 3+oe to you also' layersI Jor you load men ith burdens hard to bear' and
you yoursel%es do not tou"h the burdens ith one of your fingers!
+ith the tea"hings of 0esus
<Matthe 11A29-80 ;H0C= 3*a#e My yo#e upon you and learn from Me' for I am gentle and loly in heart' and
you ill find rest for your souls! F80G 3Jor My yo#e is easy and My burden is light!3
In 0esus e see the #indness of ,od made manifest! :e heals the si"# <Matthe BA28=' restores to sanity those
affli"ted by demons <Matthe ?K1>=' a""epts the out"asts <7u#e 19A2-10= and tea"hes ords of eternal life <0ohn
6A6?=! :e is espe"ially #ind to those ho are bro#en by the burden of their sins su"h as the prostitute ho ept
at :is feet!
<7u#e >A8>-$0 ;H0C= And behold' a oman in the "ity ho as a sinner' hen she #ne that 0esus sat at the
table in the Eharisee(s house' brought an alabaster flas# of fragrant oil' F8?G and stood at :is feet behind :im
eepingK and she began to ash :is feet ith her tears' and iped them ith the hair of her headK and she
#issed :is feet and anointed them ith the fragrant oil! F89G ;o hen the Eharisee ho had in%ited :im sa
this' he spo#e to himself' saying' 3*his man' if :e ere a prophet' ould #no ho and hat manner of oman
this is ho is tou"hing :im' for she is a sinner!3 FB0G And 0esus ansered and said to him' 3)imon' I ha%e
something to say to you!3 )o he said' 3*ea"her' say it!3 FB1G 3*here as a "ertain "reditor ho had to debtors!
2ne oed fi%e hundred denarii' and the other fifty! FB2G 3And hen they had nothing ith hi"h to repay' he
freely forga%e them both! *ell Me' therefore' hi"h of them ill lo%e him moreD3 FB8G )imon ansered and said'
3I suppose the one hom he forga%e more!3 And :e said to him' 34ou ha%e rightly @udged!3 FBBG *hen :e turned
to the oman and said to )imon' 35o you see this omanD I entered your houseK you ga%e Me no ater for My
feet' but she has ashed My feet ith her tears and iped them ith the hair of her head! FB$G 34ou ga%e Me no
#iss' but this oman has not "eased to #iss My feet sin"e the time I "ame in! FB6G 34ou did not anoint My head
ith oil' but this oman has anointed My feet ith fragrant oil! FB>G 3*herefore I say to you' her sins' hi"h are
many' are forgi%en' for she lo%ed mu"h! But to hom little is forgi%en' the same lo%es little!3 FB?G *hen :e said to
her' 34our sins are forgi%en!3 FB9G And those ho sat at the table ith :im began to say to themsel%es' 3+ho is
this ho e%en forgi%es sinsD3 F$0G *hen :e said to the oman' 34our faith has sa%ed you! ,o in pea"e!3
Love Serves Graciously
It does not en%y' it does not boast' it is not proud! It is not rude' it is not self-see#ing' it is not easily angered' it
#eeps no re"ord of rongs!
:o does lo%e ser%e one(s neighbourD *he first three sins <en%y' boastfulness and pride= re%ol%e around the
&uestion 3+hat does my neighbour ha%e that I don(t3 <or a "lose %ariant of this &uestion=! +hereas lo%e as#s
3+hat does my neighbour need' that I ha%e' so that I may gi%e it to themD3! *he se"ond three sins <rudeness'
self-see#ing and being easily angered= are "lustered around the attitude 3,et out of my ay I am in a hurry to
loo# after number oneI3 +hereas lo%e says 34ou are no in"on%enien"e' you are spe"ial' you ere made in the
image of ,od it is a pri%ilege to lo%e and ser%e you!3 *he last thing in this %erse is 3it #eeps no re"ord of rongs3!
7o%e shoots the s"ore#eeper! 7o%e en@oys the game and forgets about the s"ore! 7o%e says 3I @ust en@oy being
ith you and "aring for you! *he s"ore in this game doesn(t matter at all' my righteousness "omes from 0esus -
not from being one up on you! I don(t ant poer o%er you' I don(t ant you to feel guilty' I @ust ant to be your
friend!3 ,od lo%es the Christian li#e that! *he s"ore#eeper has been sent off the field! ,od @ust en@oys our lo%e'
our orship and ho e are in :im! +e need to lo%e ea"h other a bit li#e that too!
Love Lives Well In A Messy World
F6G 7o%e does not delight in e%il but re@oi"es ith the truth! F>G It alays prote"ts' alays trusts' alays hopes'
alays perse%eres
*he sentimental person has immoral lo%e! *hey "all gangsters "ute! *hey romanti"ise robbers and glorify
pirates! *rue lo%e does not delight in e%il - no matter ho romanti" or "olourful the form it ta#es! *rue lo%e is
stern stuff! It has a stern lo%e of the truth edded to a stern lo%e of the person! Agape lo%e is solid! It rings true!
+hen a person lo%es you ith agape lo%e you sense that they ill alays be there for you! *hey may be grie%ed
at your folly and sin but they ill lo%e you! 4ou are sure of their prote"tion' sure of their basi" trust in you' sure
that they ill not gi%e up hoping you turn out 2H and you are sure that they ill perse%ere ith you e%en hen
you disappoint them badly! Eaul emphasis the ord 3alays3! Be"ause lo%e is not mu"h if it is 3sometimes3!
7o%e sometimes prote"ts - but hat about hen it does notD 7o%e sometimes trusts - hat sort of trust is that
hen it is abruptly ithdran! ,od(s lo%e is alays lo%e! It is neither fi"#le or unreliable! Its there @ust li#e the
sun' the stars and the turning "ir"le of the earth! Its solid! And e ho are made in :is image should be 3solid3
as ell!
Love Never ails
F?G 7o%e ne%er fails! But here there are prophe"ies' they ill "easeK here there are tongues' they ill be
stilledK here there is #noledge' it ill pass aay! F9G Jor e #no in part and e prophesy in part' F10G but
hen perfe"tion "omes' the imperfe"t disappears! F11G +hen I as a "hild' I tal#ed li#e a "hild' I thought li#e a
"hild' I reasoned li#e a "hild! +hen I be"ame a man' I put "hildish ays behind me! F12G ;o e see but a poor
refle"tion as in a mirrorK then e shall see fa"e to fa"e! ;o I #no in partK then I shall #no fully' e%en as I am
fully #non! F18G And no these three remainA faith' hope and lo%e!But the greatest of these is love
7o%e is permanent! By nature it has to be! Can you imagine the grief of lo%ing ,od for a thousand years and
then ha%ing it all go to pie"esD *hat ould not be lo%e that ould be the dar#est of :ells! *rue lo%e must last
fore%er! It must be eternal if it is to be lo%e at all! ;othing de%astates us as mu"h as the loss of lo%e! *he loss of
faith and the loss of hope are "lose "ousins but the loss of lo%e is truly terrible! Jortunately all three remain and if
the ob@e"t of our faith' hope and lo%e is eternal' is ,od' then e ha%e nothing to fear!! Congregational prophe"y
as highly thought of in the Corinthian "hur"h' yet' for all its spe"ta"ular poer both it and the gift of tongues
ere temporary manifestations of the )pirit to help us mature in lo%e! 7o%e as the end' prophe"y and tongues
are temporary means! Hnoledge ill pass aay! :oD Hnoledge is only needed if e don(t #no or "an(t
see!! I need the Bible to tell me about ,od be"ause I "annot figure it out for myself! I do not see :im fa"e to
fa"e! +hen I do see :im fa"e to fa"e I on(t need to go to Bible studiesI *he truths of )"ripture ill remain
be"ause the ord of ,od abides fore%er! :oe%er in :ea%en I ill not e.perien"e ,od(s +ord as #noledge
from a boo# but personally and dire"tly in the )pirit - as the angels no do! Hnoledge as su"h ill pass aay!
In :ea%en I ill #no fully e%en as I am fully #non! +ho loo#s at the eather report to #no if it is raining
outsideD 4ou loo# out the indo and see! If you "an dire"tly e.perien"e it you don(t need to 3#no about3 it! It
is in this sense that #noledge ill pass aay! It ill be the differen"e beteen a roman"e by e-mail and the
edding day! 7o%e ill repla"e #noledge as the o%erhelming reality of :ea%en!
The Greatest o! These Is Love
Eaul tells the Corinthians to pla"e lo%e as their top spiritual priority!
If I spea# in the tongues of men and of angels' but ha%e not lo%e' I am only a resounding gong or a "langing
"ymbal! F2G If I ha%e the gift of prophe"y and "an fathom all mysteries and all #noledge' and if I ha%e a faith that
"an mo%e mountains' but ha%e not lo%e' I am nothing! F8G If I gi%e all I possess to the poor and surrender my
body to the flames' but ha%e not lo%e' I gain nothing!
+ithout it all their other spiritual a"hie%ements are hollo and empty! +ithout lo%e e "annot fulfill the to great
"ommandments to lo%e ,od and neighbour! +ithout lo%e e may be appro%ed of men but e "annot be
appro%ed o ,od! If ,od is lo%e and ,od dells is us then e must lo%e others! Its that simple! If e do not lo%e
then ,od does not dell in us <1 0ohn 8A1B-1?= 7o%e' not faith' is the paramount %irtue! Jaith ushers us into the
Hingdom and a""omplishes great or#s for ,od! :oe%er faith does not "onfer %alue! 7o%e does! A small lo%ing
a"t is more %aluable than a huge selfish a"t - no matter ho mu"h faith is in%ol%ed! Jaith may or# mira"les but
it is lo%e that determines hether it is a mira"le of %alue or a or# of ini&uity!
<Matthe >A20-28 ;H0C= 3*herefore by their fruits you ill #no them! F21G 3;ot e%eryone ho says to Me' (7ord'
7ord'( shall enter the #ingdom of hea%en' but he ho does the ill of My Jather in hea%en! F22G 3Many ill say to
Me in that day' (7ord' 7ord' ha%e e not prophesied in 4our name' "ast out demons in 4our name' and done
many onders in 4our nameD( F28G 3And then I ill de"lare to them' (I ne%er #ne youK depart from Me' you ho
pra"ti"e lalessnessI
7o%e is the foundation for the "ommandments' for all righteousness and for e%ery or# that is truly of ,od! It is
preeminent o%er the gifts of tongues or faith or prophe"y or e%en dramati" self-sa"rifi"e! 7o%e then is hat e as
Christians are about! Its hat e need to fo"us on and to do! 7ets get on ith it no!
ur Bodies Are Te"#les
$! The %oly S#irit $
,od lo%es your physi"al body and it is %ery pre"ious to :im! 0esus
shoed ,od(s lo%e for our bodies hen :e healed so many people!
,od states :is "are and lo%e for our body in Esalm 189 here he says
e are 3fearfully and onderfully made3 and that our physi"al bodies
are amongst the "on"ern of :is thoughts! Jinally ,od has made a
future for our bodies hen :e ill resurre"t them from the dead! ,od
dells in our physi"al bodies and "alls them :is temple! 2ur bodies'
li#e temples' are sa"red sites here ,od dells! 2ther people should
be able to go to us as temples of the li%ing ,od and meet ,od thereI
+hat an ama9ing thoughtI *his arti"le ill loo# into the analogy of our
bodies as temples of the :oly )pirit and attempt a start on a Christian
attitude to our physi"al bodies!
<Esalms 189A18-1? ;IC= Jor you "reated my inmost beingK you #nit me
together in my mother(s omb! F1BG I praise you be"ause I am fearfully
and onderfully madeK your or#s are onderful' I #no that full ell!
F1$G My frame as not hidden from you hen I as made in the se"ret
pla"e! +hen I as o%en together in the depths of the earth' F16G your
eyes sa my unformed body! All the days ordained for me ere
ritten in your boo# before one of them "ame to be! F1>G :o pre"ious
to me are your thoughts' 2 ,odI :o %ast is the sum of themI F1?G
+ere I to "ount them' they ould outnumber the grains of sand! +hen
I aa#e' I am still ith you!
1. We are continually told that our physical bodies are the alost eaningless products of tie! chance!
genetics! radiation! cheicals and our other"s oods in pregnancy. :ere 5a%id' under the inspiration of
the :oly )pirit spea#s about ho ,od #nos all things about him! *he first statement he ma#es is that 3you #nit
me together in my mothers omb3! *his is not a statement of ignoran"e! *his is not 3the ,od of the gaps3 filling
in be"ause 5a%id did not understand geneti"s! *his is a faith statement that ,od is personally in%ol%ed as our
Creator in ma#ing our bodies! And' yes' this does apply to those born ith disabilities as the folloing in"ident
from the gospels shos!!!
<0ohn 9A1-$ ;6)C= As :e <0esus=al#ed along' :e sa a man blind from birth! F2G :is dis"iples as#ed him'
36abbi' ho sinned' this man or his parents' that he as born blindD3 F8G 0esus ansered' 3;either this man nor
his parents sinnedK he as born blind so that ,od(s or#s might be re%ealed in him! FBG +e must or# the or#s
of :im ho sent me hile it is dayK night is "oming hen no one "an or#! F$G As long as I am in the orld' I am
the light of the orld!3
0esus ent on to heal him! In this "ase both the disability and the healing ere from ,od! In my on "ase I as
born a moderately se%ere epilepti" hi"h resulted in some %ery painful years! 2%er the past fi%e years I ha%e
seen an enormous impro%ement as the dire"t result of prayer! I belie%e that again both the disability and the
healing ere of ,od!!!+e need to adopt a Christian perspe"ti%e that sees our bodies through the eyes of faith!
By faith 5a%id sa that e are deliberately formed and fearfully and onderfully made! By faith 0esus too# aay
the blame for disabilities! By faith e are healed and by faith e #no that ,od is in%ol%ed ith and deeply lo%es
our physi"al bodies!
#. $sal 13%&1' ()our eyes sa* y unfored body. +ll the days ordained for e *ere *ritten in your
boo, before one of the cae to be.(
,od has a plan and purpose for your life that in%ol%es your physi"al body and hi"h "ommen"ed from hen you
ere ithin the omb! ,od is better than ultrasound - :e sees your unformed body in the omb ith the eyes of
lo%e! ,od does not behold us ith impersonal deta"hment or s"ientifi" "uriosity!<Esalm 88A1?= ,od(s beholding
is a beholding of the lo%er ga9ing' the father yearning' the heart folloing the eyes to the ob@e"t of lo%e! *here is
no su"h thing as 3@ust a foetus3 to ,odK the "hild in the omb is a person :e lo%es in progress toards plans :e
has made! ;o matter hat the "ir"umstan"es of your birth ere' hether you ere anted or unanted'
planned or unplanned' lo%ed or abandoned or re@e"ted there is 2ne ho as at"hing all of this and yearning
for you! *here is 2ne ho lo%es you e%en ,od' and :e has a plan for your life!
3. $sal 13%&1-( I praise you because I a fearfully and *onderfully ade. your *or,s are *onderful! I
,no* that full *ell.(
5a%id loo#s on his body ith the eyes of faith and says 3I am fearfully and onderfully made3! *his is something
I struggle ith! I loo# on my s#inny frame and distin"t la"# of bi"eps and feel that I ha%e missed out in the
handsomeness sta#es! It as only as I did some reading about artifi"ial intelligen"e and "omputer programming
that I began to realise that my arm is a mar%el that no robot arm "an mat"h' my eyes are onders no "amera
"an e%er "ome "lose to! My ability to al# o%er all #inds of terrain ' ride bi"y"les' "limb "liffs and sim through
ater is not mat"hed by any %ehi"le that man has made despite billions of dollars of resear"h! And ith my
ner%ous system I got a free multi-media super-"omputer ith self-programming "apa"ityI At birthI Jor free I
Lnearned I My first degree as in "hemistry and the ability of the li%er to synthesise "omple. ma"romole"ules
out of last nights dinner is mind-boggling! ;o "hemist "ould go anyhere near it! A 0apanese "ompany
apparently attempted the "ommer"ial repli"ation of the 3simple3 transformation of glu"ose into gly"ogen' a
rea"tion fundamental to life hi"h the li%er performs e%ery day! Before they ga%e up they had built a fa"tory
o""upying a s&uare mile and "osting a %ast sum of money <some billions of dollars =! *his is @ust one of the
"ountless mole"ular mira"les that happen as your fish and "hips and "up of tea be"ome mus"les ' bone and
brain "ells! As s#inny as I may be it is by faith and in truth and ith mu"h lo%e that I "an say 3I am fearfully and
onderfully made3!
<1 Corinthians 6A12-20 ;6)C= 3All things are laful for me'3 but not all things are benefi"ial! 3All things are laful
for me'3 but I ill not be dominated by anything! F18G 3Jood is meant for the stoma"h and the stoma"h for food'3
and ,od ill destroy both one and the other! *he body is meant not for forni"ation but for the 7ord' and the 7ord
for the body! F1BG And ,od raised the 7ord and ill also raise us by his poer! F1$G 5o you not #no that your
bodies are members of ChristD )hould I therefore ta#e the members of Christ and ma#e them members of a
prostituteD ;e%erI F16G 5o you not #no that hoe%er is united to a prostitute be"omes one body ith herD Jor it
is said' 3*he to shall be one flesh!3 F1>G But anyone united to the 7ord be"omes one spirit ith him! F1?G )hun
forni"ationI 1%ery sin that a person "ommits is outside the bodyK but the forni"ator sins against the body itself!
F19G 2r do you not #no that your body is a temple of the :oly )pirit ithin you' hi"h you ha%e from ,od' and
that you are not your onD F20G Jor you ere bought ith a pri"eK therefore glorify ,od in your body!
-. 1 Corinthians '&1# (+ll things are la*ful for e!( but not all things are beneficial. (+ll things are la*ful
for e!( but I *ill not be doinated by anything(
2ur bodies are meant to be under our "ontrol! *he Corinthians had lat"hed onto gra"e but not onto dis"ipline
and "onstru"ti%e li%ing! Culturally Corinth as sophisti"ated' debau"hed and 3liberated3 it as renoned
throughout the 6oman 1mpire for 3broad-minded promis"uity3 and the use of prostitutes in pagan religious
orship as %ery "ommon! *he ne "on%erts to Christianity "ame from ba"#grounds that naturally turned gra"e
into li"en"e and used slogans su"h as 3all things are laful for me!!3!Hnoing human nature it ould be
remar#able indeed if they made a smooth transition to a godly and dis"iplined lifestyle! )o Eaul lays don some
%ery basi" prin"iples for them "on"erning our bodies! *he first of these is that e are to be masters of our bodies
and dedi"ate them to good godly purposes! *herefore life-dominating addi"tions to al"ohol' se.' drugs' binge
eating or physi"al 3adrenaline highs3 are ma@or problems for the Christian life! *his leads to the se"ond of Eaul(s
prin"iples!
/. 1 Corinthians '&13 (0ood is eant for the stoach and the stoach for food!( and 1od *ill destroy
both one and the other. 2he body is eant not for fornication but for the 3ord! and the 3ord for the
body.(
*he body is meant for the 7ord and the 7ord for the body! *he purpose of our bodies is found in ,od - not in
se.ual pleasure or the indulgen"e of appetites as the Corinthian slogan 3food is for the stoma"h and the
stoma"h for food!!3 implied! ,od is greater than our earthly appetites hi"h ill pass aay! 2ur bodies ha%e an
eternal %alue hi"h is found in the 7ord! *hus e need to ta#e a radi"al 3"ounter-"ultural3 %ie and see our
bodies are temples - not amusement par#s! *he 7ord is 3 for the body3! :e is 3for3 your body' not against itI :ere
e ha%e to ma#e a distin"tion beteen 3the flesh3 <,ree# 3sar.3= hi"h ,od opposes and the 3body3 <,ree#
3soma3= hi"h :e lo%e sand ill raise from the dead! 3*he flesh3 <sar.= is the spiritual prin"iple of self-
"entredness and disobedien"e to ,od that has been biologi"ally or#ed into our present bodies through habit'
training and memory! 3*he body3 <soma= is ,od(s %ehi"le for self-e.pression in a material orld! It is ith our
bodies' gi%en to ,od' that e spea# ords of truth and lo%e ' tou"h' "omfort' heal others' e.press pra"ti"al "are
and lo%e and orship :im! ,od lo%e sour bodies as they glorify and ser%e :im! +e ill see that :e has an
eternal plan for them tooI
'. 1 Corinthians '&1- (+nd 1od raised the 3ord and *ill also raise us by his po*er.(.
*he destiny of our bodies is in hea%en! 0ust as 0esus physi"al body as raised from the dead so that the s"ars
still shoed and :e "ould eat fish so our bodies ill be raised! *here ill be a "ontinuation beteen this present
body and the body e re"ei%e in hea%en ' as ell as some %ery signifi"ant differen"esI ,od ill not lea%e us to
rot! :e ill not @ust ma#e ne bodies for us out of nothing! :e ill raise our bodies from the gra%e and then or#
a transforming mira"le on them! 2ur present bodies are in some ay the starting point for our eternal bodies!
7ater on in Eaul(s epistle to the Corinthians he ansers the &uestion 3:o then are the dead raised!!!3 lets loo#
at hat he rote!
<1 Corinthians 1$A8$-$$ ;H0C= But someone ill say' 3:o are the dead raised upD And ith hat body do they
"omeD3 F86G Joolish one' hat you so is not made ali%e unless it dies! F8>G And hat you so' you do not so
that body that shall be' but mere grainK perhaps heat or some other grain! F8?G But ,od gi%es it a body as :e
pleases' and to ea"h seed its on body!
+e see the prin"iple that our present bodies are "onne"ted to our eternal bodies @ust as a seed is "onne"ted to
the plant that "omes after the seed dies! It is the life ithin the seed that "ontinues on and ,od gi%es it a body
that he has appointed! 4et the seed is not unimportant' in fa"t it is %itally ne"essary and to be pri9ed! +e are not
to despise our mortal bodies any more than a farmer ould despise his seeds!
F89G All flesh is not the same flesh' but there is one #ind of flesh of men' another flesh of animals' another of fish'
and another of birds! FB0G *here are also "elestial bodies and terrestrial bodiesK but the glory of the "elestial is
one' and the glory of the terrestrial is another! FB1G *here is one glory of the sun' another glory of the moon' and
another glory of the starsK for one star differs from another star in glory! FB2G )o also is the resurre"tion of the
dead! *he body is son in "orruption' it is raised in in"orruption! FB8G It is son in dishonour' it is raised in glory!
It is son in ea#ness' it is raised in poer! FBBG It is son a natural body' it is raised a spiritual body!
*hough there is a "ontinuity beteen our present mortal bodies and our glorious resurre"tion bodies there is also
a dis"ontinuity! *here ill be a great %ariety of resurre"tion bodies and ea"h shall re"ei%e the body that the 7ord
has prepared for him or her! *hese bodies ill all be in"orruptible' glorious' poerful and spiritual! *hey ill
perfe"tly e.press our lo%e of ,od and perfe"tly re"ei%e the #noledge of ,od! :oe%er they ill differ in glory -
presumably as a result of the different reards that Christians ill re"ei%e!
*here is a natural body' and there is a spiritual body! FB$G And so it is ritten' 3*he first man Adam be"ame a
li%ing being!3 *he last Adam be"ame a life-gi%ing spirit! FB6G :oe%er' the spiritual is not first' but the natural'
and afterard the spiritual! FB>G *he first man as of the earth' made of dustK the se"ond Man is the 7ord from
hea%en! FB?G As as the man of dust' so also are those ho are made of dustK and as is the hea%enly Man' so
also are those ho are hea%enly! FB9G And as e ha%e borne the image of the man of dust' e shall also bear
the image of the hea%enly Man!
*he 3last Adam3 is Christ ho heads up a ne ra"e of men and omen! 0ust as Adam(s des"endants ended up
going from Mdust to dust3 so Christ(s 3born-gain3 ra"e has a hea%enly destiny and 3bears the image <stamp= of the
hea%enly! +hen e are born again e%en our bodies are headed for hea%en! 0ust as 0esus( resurre"ted body
ent into hea%en on the Mount of 2li%es as :is dis"iples ga9ed on so e ill as"end into hea%en and meet the
returning Christ in the air in our resurre"ted physi"al bodies! Eaul des"ribes this moment as a sudden and
glorious "hange!
F$0G ;o this I say' brethren' that flesh and blood "annot inherit the #ingdom of ,odK nor does "orruption inherit
in"orruption! F$1G Behold' I tell you a mysteryA +e shall not all sleep' but e shall all be "hangedK F$2G in a
moment' in the tin#ling of an eye' at the last trumpet! Jor the trumpet ill sound' and the dead ill be raised
in"orruptible' and e shall be "hanged! F$8G Jor this "orruptible must put on in"orruption' and this mortal must
put on immortality! F$BG )o hen this "orruptible has put on in"orruption' and this mortal has put on immortality'
then shall be brought to pass the saying that is rittenA 35eath is salloed up in %i"tory!3 F$$G 32 5eath' here
is your stingD 2 :ades' here is your %i"toryD3
2ur present physi"al bodies shall "ome out of the gra%e and the 5eath(s temporary %i"tory ill be o%er!
Jurthermore they shall ta#e up a ne immortal nature that is no longer sub@e"t to death so that death is
"ompletely and permanently defeated! 2ur present 3seed3 bodies shall suddenly 3in the tin#ling of an eye3 be
"hanged into the 3full gron plant3 hi"h ill be imperishable' in"orruptible and immortal! *he destiny of our
body is in hea%en! It is not to be despised as 3the prison of the soul3 or abandoned to promis"uity as if it did not
matter! +hile flesh and blood "annot inherit the #ingdom of ,od or the "orruptible inherit in"orruption it is still
important! 2ur bodies are li#e a seed that dies and bears fruit ithin the Hingdom of ,od!
4.I Corinthians '&1/ 5o you not ,no* that your bodies are ebers of Christ6 7hould I therefore ta,e
the ebers of Christ and a,e the ebers of a prostitute6 Never8
:ere Eaul ma#es the statement that our bodies are 3members of Christ3! ;o e are used to thin#ing of our
sel%es as 3members of the body of Christ3 but this hoe%er is &uite different! Eaul is tal#ing about our physi"al
bodies being the 3members3' the limbs' of Christ :imself! If 0esus ants to hug someone :e does not send the
:oly )pirit to gi%e a hug :e sends you or I! If 0esus Christ ants to feed someone :e does not generally drop a
hamburger from hea%en in their lap - :e sends you or I to physi"ally' pra"ti"ally feed them! +hen 0esus smiles it
is through your eyes and my eyes! +e are the physi"al interfa"e of 0esus ith this orld! +e are :is members'
e are :is physi"al body on earth! :a%e you e%er had your "omputer monitor "rash so that e%erything else as
or#ing but you "ould not see your "omputer s"reenD 4ou feel helpless' so little "an be done ithout that
interfa"e! *hat(s ho it is ith our bodies they are li#e "omputer monitors' interfa"es indi"ating 0esus a"ti%ity in
us and through us! *hey ma#e 0esus a""essible to others! +hat use is a deep spiritual life that goes "ompletely
une.pressed and is unreadable by othersD Its li#e a super-"omputer ith no output! LselessI As good as deadI
<0ames 2A26 ;H0C= Jor as the body ithout the spirit is dead' so faith ithout or#s is dead also!<Ero%erbs 2>A$
H0C= 2pen rebu#e is better than se"ret lo%e! 2ur inner orld should sho through and be e.pressed so that
others "an see it' hear it and understand it! *his is ,od(s role for our bodies! 4our body is part of Christ therefore
it should ne%er be 3@oined ith a prostitute3! 2ur bodies are for e.pressing Christ(s lo%e - not human lust!
9. 1 Corinthians '&1'! 14 5o you not ,no* that *hoever is united to a prostitute becoes one body *ith
her6 0or it is said! (2he t*o shall be one flesh.( :14; But anyone united to the 3ord becoes one spirit
*ith <i.
*here are diffi"ulties ith this passage! It seems to indi"ate that e%en the most "asual se.ual a"t is an
indissoluble 3one flesh3 "ommitment on the same le%el as marriage!! Certainly se. is a %ery intimate a"t ith
deep spiritual and emotional "onse&uen"es and a 3bond3 is established! )e. is serious - and that is hat I thin#
Eaul is trying to state here! :e is saying 3there is no su"h thing as harmless "asual se.!!3 I am "autious about
stating that' on the basis of this %erse' you ha%e to marry anyone you ha%e se. ith <as some argue=! If Eaul as
intending that then he ould ha%e e.horted single male Corinthians to marry the prostitutes they had slept ith!
:e made no su"h re"ommendationI :is ne.t statement builds on the image of intima"y and unityA3But anyone
united ith the 7ord be"omes one spirit ith :im3!2ur spirit and ,od(s spirit are indissolubly @oined' ne%er to be
separated' in eternal spiritual intima"y! *hough a prostitute may temporarily satisfy a desire for "arnal intima"y
the Christian "an e.perien"e permanent deep spiritual intima"y ith ,od! *he groundor# for our union ith
,od as laid by Christ(s death on the "ross hi"h ga%e us a""ess to the Jather! *his union as sealed by the
re"eption of the :oly )pirit - ,od(s intimate' lo%ing' indelling Eresen"e ' at Eente"ost! +e are one ith ,od
e%en though e may not sense it! ,od has made us one ith :im in a union that no poer on hea%en or on
earth "an separate! It ta#es a lifetime to fully grasp thatI :o does this affe"t ho e use our bodiesD *o
things 1=*he spirit animates the body! If our spirit is one ith ,od(s )pirit then that relationship is hat should
animate our bodies and dire"t the life that is ithin them! 2= 2ur desire for intima"y should be dire"ted
hea%enard and find at least a %ery substantial part of its satisfa"tion in ,od! It is a %ery misdire"ted desire for
intima"y that uses prostitutes or engages in "asual se.! *hus immorality is inappropriate for someone ho is
@oined to ,od!!
%. (1 Corinthians '&19 N=7V) 7hun fornication8 >very sin that a person coits is outside the body. but
the fornicator sins against the body itself. (1 Corinthians '&19 NIV) 0lee fro se?ual iorality. +ll other
sins a an coits are outside his body! but he *ho sins se?ually sins against his o*n body.
)e.ual immorality is so blinding and persuasi%e that e "annot linger around and 3play ith fire3! +e need to
ta#e Eaul(s ad%i"e and fleeI *hough this may lead to damaged relationships' anger and re"riminations from the
3re@e"ted3 party ,od ill honour us! 0oseph fled se.ual immorality ith Eotiphar(s ife and as falsely a""used
by an angry and %indi"ti%e oman! :e ent to @ail and really suffered for being good! It must ha%e seemed that
being pure did not pay! :oe%er ,od did not forget him but remembered his godly heart and ele%ated 0oseph to
the position of Erime Minister of the only super-poer in the orld at that time!*he pragmati" reason e are to
flee se.ual immorality is that it is a sin against our on bodies! *he medi"al toll from promis"uity is high -
abortion' infertility' AI5)' se.ually transmitted diseases' urinary tra"t and boel infe"tions' emotional and
psy"hiatri" disorders plus the side-effe"ts from %arious "ontra"epti%es are @ust part of the "ost that our bodies are
paying for a se.ually liberated lifestyle!! 2ur body does not li#e being sinned against!
1@.(1 Corinthians '&1% N=7V) Ar do you not ,no* that your body is a teple of the <oly 7pirit *ithin
you! *hich you have fro 1od! and that you are not your o*n6
A temple is a sa"red site here a deity is supposed to dell and "an be a""essed and e.perien"ed! 4our body
is a temple! It is a sa"red site! It is holy! It is ne%er to be %iolated or profaned! *he ,od ithin the temple is not
some god of thunder or ind ' a mon#ey god or a good lu"# "harm! *he ,od ithin is the :oly )pirit! *herefore
in the temple lof your body dells the ,od ho as brooding o%er the aters at Creation' ho is the sour"e of
isdom' ho is lo%e on fire ith holiness' the ,od from hom all lesser gods flee in terror' ho is mighty'
poerful' ma@esti" and righteous! 5efile :is temple and beareI *his :oly )pirit is our possession from ,od' our
treasure!! :uman beings ere alays meant to be )pirit-indelt beings' indelt ith the :oly )pirit as images of
,od! 2ur bodies ere part of this design! +e are temples' sa"red' onderful' filled ith the poer and presen"e
of ,od! Eeople should be able to "ome to a Christian @ust as an idol-orshipper goes to a temple to find the god
there! Eeople should be able to "ome to us and find Christ in residen"e!*hey should be able to "ome to the
Christ-indelt bodies of Christians and sense the holiness and presen"e of ,od! Eeople go to temples ith
needs -and I thin# they should ha%e their needs met by Christ in us! Eeople should be able to "ome to Christians
for isdom' a ord from ,od' guidan"e in life' healing' en"ouragement et"! and e should be able to minister to
them not in our on strength but out of the poer of Christ ho indells us! +e "annot do this if our bodies are
gi%en to immorality!
11. (1 Corinthians '&1%bB#@ NCDV)! and you are not your o*n6 :#@; 0or you *ere bought at a price.
therefore glorify 1od in your body and in your spirit! *hich are 1od"s.
Eaul goes on to as# 3And hose body is it anyayD3! It is ,od(s I :e bought it and :e "an do hat :e li#es ith
it! If I buy a "ar I "an do hat I li#e ith that "ar! I "an dri%e it or lea%e it in the garage or e%en ta#e it on a testing
rally dri%e! Its my "ar and I say hat I do ith it and here it goes! ,od bought your body on the "ross! :e paid a
%ery high pri"e for it - :is on belo%ed )on! It is :is - :e "an say hat happens to your body' here it should go
and hat it should do! :e has leased it ba"# to you ith stri"t instru"tions as to its use and in many "ases a fe
impro%ements and healings! :e has filled it ith the :oly )pirit! :e has a plan to raise it from the dead and gi%e
it ba"# to you in a glorious state - but that depends to no small e.tent on hat you "hoose to do ith it no!
,od(s plan for your body' hi"h belongs to :im' is good! Most of the time :e li#es to heal it and see it prosperI
:oe%er the plan in"ludes holiness <:ebres 1BA12=!*herefore 3glorify ,od ith your body3!
1#.(1 Corinthians '&%B11 NCDV) 5o you not ,no* that the unrighteous *ill not inherit the ,ingdo of
1od6 5o not be deceived. Neither fornicators! nor idolaters! nor adulterers! nor hoose?uals! nor
sodoites! :1@; nor thieves! nor covetous! nor drun,ards! nor revilers! nor e?tortioners *ill inherit the
,ingdo of 1od. :11; +nd such *ere soe of you. But you *ere *ashed! but you *ere sanctified! but
you *ere Eustified in the nae of the 3ord Desus and by the 7pirit of our 1od.
;o lets @ump ba"# a fe %erses to some tough %erses of Eaul(s! In %erse 1-? Eaul is arguing that Christians
should not go to "ourt against ea"h other - and be @udged before unbelie%ers! Eaul points out that 3the
unrighteous3 are not members of the Christian #ingdom and therefore should not be our @udges! +hy don(t they
inherit the Hingdom of ,odD Be"ause' amongst other things they pra"ti"e se.ual immorality and abuse their
bodies! Most of the abo%e sins in%ol%e the abuse of the body in some ay! *hese sins dis&ualify people from
hea%en! )ure they "an be forgi%en if e repent! :oe%er they are meant to be left behind at "on%ersion and
ne%er indulged in again! 3)u"h +161 some of you3 - its in the past tense! *he Corinthians had been %ery
immoral before Christ "ame into their li%es but no Eaul says of them ABut you ere ashed' but you ere
san"tified' but you ere @ustified in the name of the 7ord 0esus and by the )pirit of our ,od! As e ha%e @ust
seen the Corinthians ere in gra%e danger of being o%erhelmed by their immorality on"e more and some ere
still %isiting the temple prostitutes! Eaul ta#es their do"trine of liberty and "autions them 35o not be de"ei%ed3'
e%idently they ere being de"ei%ed and ere playing fast and loose ith the holiness and @udgement of ,od
using a false do"trine of 3gra"e3 to @ustify li"en"e! *his is not inno%ati%e theology - it is de"eption <at least that is
hat Eaul "alls it=! +e "annot play ith se.ual sin! +e ha%e to get rid of it and a""ept the ashing' "leansing'
and san"tifi"ation that are from ,od!
he Christian"s
7truggle With 7in 2
*he folloing passage des"ribes the apostle Eaul(s struggle
ith sin! It also des"ribes the personal e.perien"e of e%ery
Christian that I #no! *he )pirit and the flesh are at ar
ith ea"h other! But not permanently! +hen e re"ei%e our
resurre"tion bodies that struggle ill "ease! It is temporary
struggle that the o%er"oming enduring Christian ill one day
in!
(=oans 4&1-B9&- NCDV) *or we know that the law is
spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. {+!} *or what I am
doing, I do not understand. *or what I will to do, that I do
not practice( but what I hate, that I do. {+#} If, then, I do
what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. {+%}
'ut now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.
{+&} *or I know that in me 1that is, in my flesh2 nothing good dwells( for to will is present with me, but how to
perform what is good I do not find. {+)} *or the good that I will to do, I do not do( but the evil I will not to do, that I
practice.
{2,} .ow if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. {2+} I find then a law,
that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. {22} *or I delight in the law of 3od according to the
inward man. {23} 'ut I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me
into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. {24} 4 wretched man that I am5 -ho will deliver me from
this body of death6 {2!} I thank 3od( through 7esus 8hrist our ord5 9o then, with the mind I myself serve the
law of 3od, but with the flesh the law of sin.
1 &0+2 :here is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in 8hrist 7esus, who do not walk according to
the flesh, but according to the 9pirit. {2} *or the law of the 9pirit of life in 8hrist 7esus has made me free from
the law of sin and death. {3} *or what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, 3od did by
sending ;is own 9on in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin0 ;e condemned sin in the flesh, {4} that the
righteous re<uirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to
the 9pirit.
+hat is Eaul(s main point in thisD - 2<AF1< W> 72=F113> WI2< 7IN 1A5 5A>7 NA2 CAN5>GN F7
B>C+F7> W> +=> IN C<=I72 D>7F7! If you thin# I am shouting at you -then you are right and I am shouting
:allelu@ahI 3)in in the flesh3 is "ondemned and ill pass aay but all ho are in Christ 0esus ill be"ome
glorious eternal beings ith imperishable and magnifi"ent bodies <1 Corinthians 1$A2$-$$=! 2ur sin ill be far
behind us then' it ill ha%e %anished li#e smo#e on a indy day! 4ou see for the Christian our sin is not part of
us though it is "losely asso"iated ith us and affe"ts us as Eaul ti"e says abo%eF%erses 1>N20G ;o if I do
hat I ill not to do' it is no longer I ho do it' but sin that dells in me!! )in is only a part of us if e a"ti%ely
"onsent to it! Eaul goes so far as to say 3it is no longer I ho do it3! +hat a "op outI ;ot at allI Its the truth! All
that is truly us is under the "ontrol of the Christian(s ill! *his sin is a "ompulsion apart from Eaul(s ill! It did not
pro"eed from Eaul(s ill therefore it as not Eaul(s deed! *he sin as "ommitted by Eaul(s body but it as not
"ommitted by Eaul the person!
{22} *or I delight in the law of 3od according to the inward man. {23} 'ut I see another law in my members,
warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. {24}
4 wretched man that I am5 -ho will deliver me from this body of death6 {2!} I thank 3od( through 7esus 8hrist
our ord5 9o then, with the mind I myself serve the law of 3od, but with the flesh the law of sin.
Eaul thus ma#es a "lear di%ision beteen hat his mind and ill ant and hat his fleshObody ants! :e also
sees his flesh as temporal' earthbound and sin-indelt hile his mind and ill are in illing sub@e"tion to ,od
.{+&} *or I know that in me 1that is, in my flesh2 nothing good dwells( for to will is present with me, but how to
perform what is good I do not find. {+)} *or the good that I will to do, I do not do( but the evil I will not to do, that I
practice.
*his struggle beteen his flesh and his mind and ill is so intense and so humiliating that the apostle "ries outA
{24} 4 wretched man that I am5 -ho will deliver me from this body of death6
It is body that holds him ba"# from being the Christian he ants to be! :o does it hold us ba"#D By being the
delling pla"e of sin! *he mind is "apable of reneal but the body is not' it needs to die and be resurre"ted! It
has been fatally affe"ted by the Jall! In some ay it stores sin li#e a mighty dam stores ater! *he bibli"al image
is %i%id -sin dells' it abides' it is perfe"tly at home in the human body! +hy is this soD I "an thin# of a fe
reasons! Jirstly the body as primarily designed for li%ing on earth and intera"ting ith the material orld around
us! It as not made to grasp hold of eternity - for instan"e our fi%e senses and all our organs operate ithout any
#noledge of the eternal! *hey #no only this orld! *herefore sin "an operate through our bodies more easily
than through our spirits e are attuned to ,od <for the Christian=! )e"ondly our bodies are "reatures of habit!
*hey learn "ertain ays of a"ting and rea"ting' spea# ith "ertain a""ents' mo%e in "ertain ays all of hi"h are
hard to unlearn! 2n"e the body learns something it ta#es a long hile to unlearn it! *he body learns the ays of
sin and programs them in! It physi"ally re"ords them and some our habits "ome ba"# to us! *hirdly ,od
designed our bodies to e.perien"e physi"al pleasure from eating' drin#ing' se. and athleti" a"ti%ities amongst
many other things! :e anted us to en@oy 1den and to be moti%ated to do these things! Lnfortunately many sins
are also %ery pleasurable physi"ally and our body is strongly moti%ated to repeat them thus turning them into
habits hi"h are hard to unlearn!
*he ne.t &uestion to my mind is 3+hy didn(t ,od @ust ta#e all this @un# out of at the moment of my "on%ersionD3!
:e did! Its not you any more - its your body that you are stu"# in until you die! After that you are rid of it! +hi"h
leads to the ob%ious - then hy didn(t ,od "lean out my body as ell as my mind at "on%ersionD )ome people
seem to be mar%elously deli%ered from sin after they are sa%ed - they gi%e up al"ohol' smo#ing or drugs
o%ernight! :oe%er no-one is freed from all sin! Eurity of heart is something e ha%e to pursue but ,od has
gi%en us some might help through the :oly )pirit!
(1alatians /&1'B19 NCDV) I say then0 -alk in the 9pirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. {+%} *or the
flesh lusts against the 9pirit, and the 9pirit against the flesh( and these are contrary to one another, so that you
do not do the things that you wish. {+&} 'ut if you are led by the 9pirit, you are not under the law.
*he desires of the flesh remain but hen e al# in the )pirit e "an ha%e mastery o%er them! *he original
,ree# is &uite emphati" on this point 3ou me telesete3 hi"h translates 3not at all fulfill 3 3in absolutely no ay
fulfill3! +hen our life is "ondu"ted a""ording to the )pirit the flesh does not ha%e a "han"e! It "annot ma#e us do
its ill!
:o then do e al# in the )piritD Eaul ma#es the statement 3al# in the )pirit3 as if it as the most ob%ious
thing in the orld' as if no Christian needed to be told ho to do it! *his is %ery irritating of the apostle' at least it
seems that ay to me! :oe%er Eaul(s letters do gi%e us plenty of "lues as to hat he as tal#ing about! )o lets
go ba"# to 6omans ? - @us after here e left off earlier! <6omans ? is a hole "hapter on al#ing in the )pirit!=
(=oans 9&1B' NCDV) :here is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in 8hrist 7esus, who do not
walk according to the flesh, but according to the 9pirit. {2} *or the law of the 9pirit of life in 8hrist 7esus has
made me free from the law of sin and death. {3} *or what the law could not do in that it was weak through the
flesh, 3od did by sending ;is own 9on in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin0 ;e condemned sin in the
flesh, {4} that the righteous re<uirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh
but according to the 9pirit. {!} *or those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh,
but those who live according to the 9pirit, the things of the 9pirit. {#} *or to be carnally minded is death, but to be
spiritually minded is life and peace.
*he first to things e find out about al#ing in the )pirit is that a=it frees us from the 7a b= it fulfills the 7a!
Blessed "ontradi"tionsI *hat are not "ontradi"tions at all! +al#ing in the )pirit is a la-full a"ti%ity in that those
ho al# in the )pirit are la-abiding they dell in ,od(s "ommandments and obey them! :oe%er they are not
@udged by them! *hey are free from the las demands and threats! 4et that do hat it says! *hey do ,od(s ill
out of the inner impulses of the )pirit rather than be"ause of the threats and promises of the 7a! *hey do this
be"ause of their mindset! *he set of their minds is on godly things! *hose ho al# in the )pirit! :abitually turn
to thin#ing of ,od and godly things! 0ust as a miser turns to thin#ing of money or a young girl to thoughts of her
boyfriend the Christian al#ing in the )pirit turns to thoughts of ,od! 4ou "an "hoose to set your mind on your
appetites or on the 7ord! 2n se.' money' and %anity or on faith' hope and lo%e! If your mind is habitually set on
,od it is hard to sin! :abitual sins tend to gain "ontrol of us in our leisurely moments hen our minds drift to
thin#ing of 3nothing in parti"ular3 then li#e a train @umping its rails it sit"hes into the tra"# of the flesh and the
thoughts that e dread!
*hese fleshly musing are de"epti%e! )oon e are tri"#ed' o%erpoered and led into sinA
(>phesians -&##B#3 NCDV) that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt
according to the deceitful lusts, {23} and be renewed in the spirit of your mind.
0ames des"ribes this pro"ess ith frightening a""ura"y
(Daes 1&1-B1/ NCDV) 'ut each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. {+!}
:hen, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin( and sin, when it is full"grown, brings forth death.
*o al# in the )pirit then e must master our thoughts and mu"h of the ;e *estament is de%oted to this %ery
theme - the reneing of our mind!
(=oans 1#&1B# NCDV) I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of 3od, that you present your bodies
a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to 3od, which is your reasonable service. {2} /nd do not be conformed to this
world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable
and perfect will of 3od.
+e need to "onsider ho to rene our minds and the anser <surprise= is in 6omans ?! In %erses 9-2$ Eaul
shos us that the reneed mind in%ol%es a reneed and hope-full identity <as sons of ,od=' in %erses 26-2> that
it in%ol%es a reneed and personal relationship to ,od through prayer 3in the )pirit3' and in %erses 2?-89 that the
Christian mind has a reneed "onfiden"e in the goodness of ,od hi"h is demonstrated toards us in all of
life(s "ir"umstan"es!
:o then "an e in the struggle against sinD By ta#ing "harge of hat e belie%e and here e set our minds
and ho e pray! Ci"tory in this ar is "ostly and re&uires a"tion and dis"ipline!
(1 Corinthians %&#-B#4 NCDV) =o you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the pri>e6
?un in such a way that you may obtain it. {2!} /nd everyone who competes for the pri>e is temperate in all
things. .ow they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. {2#} :herefore I run thus0
not with uncertainty. :hus I fight0 not as one who beats the air. {2%} 'ut I discipline my body and bring it into
sub$ection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become dis<ualified.
Eaul rites in "ompetiti%e terms here! *he struggle ith sin is not for the "asual dabbler in righteousness! It is
strenuous' 3athleti"3' %igorous and in earnest! It in%ol%es ha%ing a definite aim <%erse 26= and a lifestyle that is
"arefully regulated in a ay "al"ulated to bring about godliness <%erses 2B'2$'2>=! )elf-mastery in%ol%es being
domineering toards one(s body in order to 3bring it into sub@e"tion3! *he phrase 3I dis"ipline my body3 "omes
from the phrase 3to gi%e a bla"# eye to3 and means 3I beat my body se%erely3 or 3I beat it until it is bla"# and
blue3!Eaul(s ministry meant that he had to ha%e little "onsideration for his physi"al "omfort or se"urity! :is body
"ould not be alloed to determine his agenda and the "all of "omfort must ne%er dron out the "all of ,od!
*o sum up then e see that the struggle against sin is a struggle that ,od does not "ondemn us for ha%ing! :e
is aare of our anguish and :is gra"e is suffi"ient for us! :e has gi%en us the :oly )pirit to help us in it! By
al#ing in the )pirit e "an stop the desires of the flesh ta#ing "ontrol of us! In order to al# in the )pirit e
need to set our mind of the things of ,od! *his means e need to ta#e our stand on ho are in Christ 0esus
praying in the )pirit at all times and being %ery "ons"ious of ,od(s destiny for us and goodness toards us in
Christ! *his strengthens us to underta#e the pointed self-dis"iplines of the Christian life and the "alling that ,od
has for ea"h of us so that e may in the imperishable "ron that aits the faithful Christian!
Section & ' Singleness ( )o"ance
This section covers the se+ual issues of single and single,again
'hristians and covers the following issues:
%ingleness
-inding ! Godly $usband #r )ife
)hy You %hould .ot /arry !n 0nbeliever
1o"ance , a 'hristian 2iew
%e+ Before /arriage3 4rostitution and %T5(s
/asturbation
o* To Be A
Truly +hristian Single %
1 Corinthians 4&4 NCDV) 0or I *ish that all en *ere even as I yself.
But each one has his o*n gift fro 1od! one in this anner and another
in that.
+hat do 0esus' Eaul' 0ohn the Baptist'Barnabas' 1li@ah' 1lisha' 0eremiah' )t!
Augustine' )t Jran"is' Mother *eresa and e%en 0ohn )tott <famous 1nglish
prea"her= ha%e in "ommonD *hey are or ere single! )ingleness does not
mean that ,od has negle"ted your needs! It may mean that :e has an
ad%enture for you so big that domesti" life "annot "ontain it!
7et me start by saying that I am B0 and single! I as single and "haste until I
married at the age of 8B! My ife had some deep hurts from her past hi"h
affe"ted our marriage and I as too immersed in my ministry to see the e.plosion "oming! I(%e been single'
married and di%or"ed! *his is not ideal! Its not so"iety(s ideal and I(m sure its not ,od(s ideal! As Christians e
thin# that anything less than the ideal is sin' or at least abnormality! I suppose I 3should ha%e3 been married at
2$ and stayed that ay fore%er! But my life didn(t and many li%es don(t follo that path! )o hat should us ho
ha%e no families and ho sit in front of our "omputers to all hours doD Jirst the destru"ti%e alternati%es e are to
a%oid - here are a fe of themA
1! 2he 7ul, - ,et e%en at ,od' married people and the "hur"h by being obno.iously miserable! )tay aay from
"hur"h to see ho ill phone up and hen no-one does go and feel indignant for at least three days!
2! 2he 0lirt - 4ou don(t a"tually 3do it3 but you ma#e e%eryone thin# you areI 4ou flirt ith e%erything that
mo%es!4ou start rumours then you feel holier than thou be"ause 3they3 are a""using you of sins that you aren(t
"ommitting! 4ou feel @ustified' indignant and superior and ha%e lots of friends of the opposite se. all of hom are
in"redibly frustrated!
8! 2he 0roHen Chosen - 4ou ha%e imploded into yourself and are li#e an old maid peering out at the street
through the la"e "urtains! 4ou distrust e%eryone of the opposite se.! 4ou feel e.tremely proud of your "hastity
and %aguely morally superior but you are terribly alone! Elead ith ,od to gi%e you life that you "an re@oi"e in -
ith a "apital 7!
B! 2he ($rayer Warrior( - Eente"ostalism has gi%en us a ne term for a 3busybody3I !4ou often pray alone
<sometimes for hours= ith members of the opposite se.! ;othing untoard e%er happens but you li#e the
intimate feelings 5ependen"y is your element! 4ou feel e."ited hen you en"ounter a bi9arre "ounselling "ase!
4ou li#e the loo# on people(s fa"es hen you pray su"h elo&uent' passionate fer%ent prayers for them! A"tually
you are ta#ing re%enge but don(t #no it!
$! 7arcastic 7allyI7a - *he itty single! Insulated by fi%e layers of sar"asm! 4ou are good at "le%er
"on%ersation but ne%er let the emotions run deep! *here(s hurt under there and a soft heart too - unless you
ha%e let it turn bitter! Be "areful! 5on(t end up trapped in your on defense me"hanism!
6! Castle Constructions $ty 3td - As soon as you meet someone of the opposite se. and are attra"ted to them
you ha%e plans for marriageI 4ou build fantasy "astles on the slimmest of e."uses for information! 4ou rarely get
to really 3#no3 the other person before they ha%e headed for the hills so your fantasy stays inta"t! 2nly fa"ts
"an bring you to earth! 4ou don(t really lo%e the other person - they are @ust a 3peg3 to hang your dreams onI
*here are mu"h better alternati%es than these! <And mu"h orse ones too I might addI=! *he ;e *estament
points out that single people ha%e uni&ue opportunities to ser%e ,od unhindered! *his maga9ine "onsumes up to
>0 hours a ee# and ould be impossible if I as married! *here are many ministries that e "an only ta#e on if
e ha%e large "hun#s of time to gi%e to them! )ingle people "an ha%e single hearts and single minds! Marriage
pulls you in many dire"tions trying to please ,od and partner! Most marriages ' e%en Christian ones' are diffi"ult
and only 20P are truly happy! Many "ouples 3@ust e.ist3! Its better to battle ith the "onstant bouts of loneliness
and be fulfilled in the 7ord(s or# than to be in a marriage that 3half or#s3 a ministry that ne%er &uite ta#es off
and a @ob you are @ust doing to feed the family! )ome marriages do or# and some people are %ery happy and
there are alays to or three families in e%ery "hur"h that ma#e me ish' fer%ently ish' that I as them!
:oe%er I #no that 3on a%erage3 I am happier and more fulfilled than most married people! I "an ta#e ris#s that
no married man "an responsibly ta#e! I "an or# hard or en@oy pea"e and &uiet! I "an so"ialise ith friends or
@ust at"h *C! Abo%e all I "an spend hours in uninterrupted prayer and my fa"e shines! It really does no!
+hen I as 2? I thought singleness ould #ill me! It hasn(t! I used to "all it 3the tiger3 be"ause intense feelings of
loneliness and anting a partner ould 3poun"e3 on me out of nohere ith &uite some for"e! +hen I as 8?
and di%or"ed I though singleness ould #ill me be"ause I had all the se.ual dri%e of a married man and it had
nohere to go - and it hurt! *he gra"e of ,od #ept me from gi%ing in to some of the temptations that "ame my
ay! But I(m not dead' and those feelings ha%e been brought under "ontrol and life(s 2H! :ere are a fe of the
prin"iples that ha%e helped me get through! I hope they help you!
i! 0ocus on the goodness of 1od and be grateful. )omeone on"e rote a boo# "alled 3,ratefulness-*he
:eart 2f Erayer3 ! Jo"us on the 99 things you do ha%e rather than the one you don(t!
ii! 5on"t get obsessed *ith singleness in your prayer life. I ent through a stage hen all I prayed about as
getting a partner! *he lost didn(t matter' missions didn(t matter' my "hur"h didn(t matter' my bible "ollege
students didn(t matter! All I anted as 3her3!I as 3the most miserable of men3! As I re-fo"used I be"ame
happy! 4ou "an(t bla"#mail ,od by saying 3I on(t pray for anything else until I get this3! It @ust doesn(t or#!
iii! 7top on the flesh. Be %ery "areful about your thought life and about the mo%ie theatre of your mind! *here
are some e."ellent boo#s on reneing your mind- read them! I ha%e found 6omans 6 to ? an enormous help
along ith 1 0ohn "hapters 2N8!
i%! Ceep so busy that isery hasn"t got a chance to get in. *he orst times ere times I tried to en@oy
idleness! 7a9iness is an enemy of the soul! I en@oy my or# so this helps! *a#e up e.er"ise' get in%ol%ed at
"hur"h! 0oin a %oluntary Christian organi9ation! *he 5e%il finds plenty of use for idle hands and idle minds and
ill ha%e a program of unhappiness mapped out for you if you don(t map out a better one!
%! 3ove your church. Its easy to get disappointed ith the lo"al "hur"h hen e are single! 2ur emotional
needs "an be %ery deep and 3the "hur"h3 doesn(t seem to "are! Eersist' a fe true friends ill e%entually
emerge!
%i! 5on"t play gaes and don(t be de%astated if people mat"hma#e you or start rumours! *here is a fruit of the
)pirit "alled forbearan"e!
%ii! $riHe the friendships you do have and *or, on the. *hey "an be ri"hly rearding! 5on(t ma#e the
mista#e of negle"ting all friendships hile you sear"h for 3the one3!
Princi#les or inding
A Godly Wi!e $r %us,and 1-
I see many Christians destroying themsel%es in the effort to find a husband or a ife!
*hey ear re%ealing "lothes' hang around night"lubs and feel ashamed in "hur"h on
)unday! Eain and desperation are dri%ing them to "lumsily adopt the ays of the orld
in finding a life partner! It "an only lead to hearta"he and disappointment! Jor most of
my adult life I ha%e been single! I #no that you CA; be happy and single and that it is
possible to @oyfully +AI* ! Marrying a non-Christian is not a godly option! I on(t be
dis"ussing that here as I ha%e ritten a separate arti"le on it! *his arti"le "o%ers 1B
prin"iples for finding a godly Christian partner in this rather lonely orld!
1! +or# on ma#ing yourself the sort of person that a godly Christian ould 7IH1
to marry! Be #ind' reliable' "ourteous and attra"ti%e! :a%e your life dis"iplined
and godly and in reasonably good order! Be full of lo%e!
2! :a%e something interesting about you and or# on it! 4ou need to stand out
from the "rod a little! ,et interested in missions' help the poor' do something
different that is still you!
8! Be godly yourself! :a%e a daily &uiet time here you read the Bible and pray
and start putting )"ripture into pra"ti"e in your life! ,o to "hur"h regularly to
orship ,od and sit"h off your 3partner sear"hing peris"ope3 hen you go there! In fa"t sit"h it off as
often as you "an! *here is something %ery unattra"ti%e about people ho are ob%iously loo#ing for a
partner! ,odly people ant a godly partner!
B! Ma#e a su""ess of your "areer! It ill "ulti%ate good &ualities in you su"h as forard thin#ing' planning'
diligen"e' and hard or# and it ill in"rease your self-esteem so that you don(t feel as de%astated by
being single! It ill also in"rease your "onfiden"e and attra"ti%eness! ,odly Christians tend to li#e people
ho do their best! 0esus had an ob%ious soft spot for steards ho did their or# diligently and ell and
ma#es them the heroes of many of his parables!
$! Ma#e a list of the &ualities you really ant in a partner and bring this list to ,od in prayer! Ma#e it &uite
spe"ifi"! Lse it as a 3filter3 to pre%ent you going out ith people that are "ompletely rong! +hen you
ma#e the list remember the golden rule 3do unto others as you ould ant them to do unto you3! +ould
you ant your future partner to be draing up a list li#e yoursD +ould you ha%e any "han"e of getting
sele"ted if they didD Is your list too unrealD Ma#e sure that an 3a%erage person3 - the sort you are li#ely
to marry' is able to fulfill it!
6! *a#e their ea#nesses seriously! If a person is a Christian but has a problem ith drugs or al"ohol or
promis"uity then be %ery "areful! If they are "onstantly in finan"ial trouble or alays &uitting their @obs
you may be marrying misery! *hings li#e eating disorders' %ery lo self-esteem' high le%els of hostility'
and the need to "ontrol people "an rea# ha%o" in a marriage! If they are belie%ers then ,od is or#ing
in their li%es and there is hope but some belie%ers are not yet ready for responsibility! )ome may be
3barely belie%ers3 and not really "ommitted to long term "hange! I am not saying don(t marry them' I am
saying thin# %ery' %ery long and hard before you do! ,i%e them time to gro and to pro%e themsel%es
before you tie the #not!
>! Marry someone you "an pray ith! Couples that pray together stay together and that(s a pro%en fa"t! *he
Christian marriages that fail <in"luding mine= ha%e one partner that a%oids ha%ing daily de%otionals
together! Erayer really builds deep intima"y into a marriage!
?! 7earn to re"ogni9e predators! *here are &uite a number of people ho hang around "hur"hes to pi"# up
a 3Christian partner3 and ho "an fa#e being a Christian ith "onsiderable s#ill! *hey generally ha%e no
intention of being godly and little intention of marriage! *hey are generally after unprote"ted se. ith
someone inno"ent and free of disease! )orry to be that blunt in a Christian maga9ine but you need to
#no the truth! Eredators are often betrayed by their la"# of true feeling for Christian things and their
la"# of insight into )"ripture! ,reed' not tithing' and minor ethi"al brea"hes are other good "lues! 7isten
to ,od(s promptings and your intuition! *he :oly )pirit ill s"ream 3;o3 at you pretty early on! +hen
,od says 3;o3 stop right then and thereI
9! Mo%e steadily and isely toards "ommitment and put aside undue suspi"ion' hostility and distrust of
the opposite gender! As a rough rule of thumb people end up li%ing up to your pro@e"tions of their
beha%ior! If you distrust people and are sure they ill not stay ith you but are 3@ust using you3 then they
ill fleeI ;o-one ill stay in a relationship ith a person ho distrusts them! :oe%er if you treat your
partner ell and trust ' lo%e' and en@oy them and delight in ho they are and e.pe"t good things of them
then they ill en@oy your lo%e so mu"h that they ill not thin# of doing anything else e."ept marrying youI
Eositi%e people tend to get positi%e results and negati%e people tend to get negati%e results - so deal
ith your fears!
10!5on(t be paranoid about members of the opposite se.! In "onser%ati%e Christian "ir"les there is almost
an assumption that you only tal# to members of the opposite se. that you are interested in marryingI
*hat is so destru"ti%eI Build many ordinary good friendships and "onfuse your "hur"h thoroughlyI It
ta#es the pressure off any emerging relationships and also gi%es you a better understanding of
omenOmen as the "ase may be!
11.,et good Christian "ounselling if you ha%e had traumati" e.perien"es that may be hindering your ability
to relate to members of the opposite se.! I "an re"ommend 2heophostic Counselling and there is an
arti"le on it elsehere in the maga9ine!
12!If you really li#e someone and they are a good Christian then go for itI I spent a lot of time thin#ing 3so
and so is too good for me3 and holding ba"# and thus losing out! Being strong and "ourageous has
many ad%antages and seems to get ,od(s blessing!
18!Many good Christian marriages ha%e de%eloped hen a friend introdu"es to people together and they
"li"#! +hile some friends playing Cupid ith your life "an be a pain if you ha%e a fe really good friends
that you trust as# them to #eep a loo#out for you and to pray for the right person to "ome along!
1B!As# ,od(s blessing on your efforts and de%elop the ability to listen to :im! ,od has a long history of
putting some first "lass roman"es together! 7et :im order your days and they ill be pleasant! :e really
does "areI
hy .ou Should Not
Marry An /n,eliever W
<1 Corinthians >A89 ;6)C= A ife is bound as
long as her husband li%es! But if the husband
dies' she is free to marry anyone she ishes'
only in the 3ord.
+ho you marry is the most important "hoi"e
you ill ma#e ne.t to a""epting 0esus Christ
as 7ord and )a%ior! It ill affe"t ho happy or
unhappy you are' ho easily you "an ser%e
,od' ho your "hildren ill be brought up'
your pea"e and prosperity and many other
things! +hile most marriages "an be
impro%ed by effort' ma#ing a ise "hoi"e to
begin ith is seen by many people as being absolutely essential to building a great marriage that lasts through
all the struggles of life! Jor the Christian it is important that our life-partners belong to the Hingdom of ,od and
share the same eternal destiny! It is important that they share the same %alues' morals and priorities and that
they model hat e model to our "hildren! Jor these reasons alone it is important for Christians to only marry
other Christians! *he Bible gi%es se%en solid reasons hy e should not marry an unbelie%er! Its ritings from
beginning to end' from Abraham to Eaul refle"t ,od(s heart for godly families and belie%ing "hildren ho see
Christian standards demonstrated by both parents! As you read this arti"le you may be surprised <as I as= by
the seriousness ith hi"h ,od ta#es the &uestion of hom you should marry! It is a big &uestion ith serious
impli"ations! Jor some people this arti"le may "ause pain! 4ou may realise that a "herished relationship has to
"ome to an end' that a beautiful dream "annot be fulfilled! *his "reates deep "onsternation' pain and "onfusion!
5uring this time pray ith others and see# the ad%i"e of godly men and omen of ,od! *a#e your time and or#
the issue through thoroughly! *he 7ord is gra"ious and #ind and ill lead you in hat to do! *he se%en reasons
areA
1! 4ou are not immune - e%en the smartest isest people "an be led astray from ,od by unbelie%ing
partners! <1 Hings 11A1-12=
2! *here is a fundamental spiritual in"ompatibility <2 Cor 6A1B->A1' 1ph 2A1-8=
8! Be"ause the "hildren may go astray from ,od<5eut >A8'B' ;eh 18A28-2>=
B! It leads to a lifetime of defeat <0oshua 28A11-18=
$! Corre"ting it "an result in drasti" and painful separations! <19ra 9A1-12=
6! Be"ause of the pain it "auses to other family members <,enesis 26A8B'8$ ' 2?A6-9=
>! Be"ause hen ,od(s @udgment falls the family ill be di%ided! <7u#e 1>A82-8B' ,enesis 19A12-26=
;o to loo# at ea"h of these reasons in a bit more detail!!!!
=eason Ane B )ou are not iune B even the sartest *isest people can be led astray fro 1od by
unbelieving partners
(1 Cings 11&1B1# N=7V) @ing 9olomon loved many foreign women along with the daughter of Aharaoh0
Boabite, /mmonite, Cdomite, 9idonian, and ;ittite women, {2} from the nations concerning which the 4?= had
said to the Israelites, DEou shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you( for they will surely
incline your heart to follow their godsD( 9olomon clung to these in love. {3} /mong his wives were seven hundred
princesses and three hundred concubines( and his wives turned away his heart. {4} *or when 9olomon was old,
his wives turned away his heart after other gods( and his heart was not true to the 4?= his 3od, as was the
heart of his father =avid.... {)} :hen the 4?= was angry with 9olomon, because his heart had turned away
from the 4?=, the 3od of Israel, who had appeared to him twice, {+,} and had commanded him concerning
this matter, that he should not follow other gods( but he did not observe what the 4?= commanded. {++}
:herefore the 4?= said to 9olomon, D9ince this has been your mind and you have not kept my covenant and
my statutes that I have commanded you, I will surely tear the kingdom from you and give it to your servant. {+2}
Eet for the sake of your father =avid I will not do it in your lifetime( I will tear it out of the hand of your son.
In 2ld *estament times ea"h ethni" group had its on orship system! *o marry a foreigner as to marry
someone outside your on religion!! +hen )olomon married omen from the surrounding nations <something it
seems ,od had personally told him not to do -ti"e= he as marrying people ho did not belie%e in the ,od of
Abraham' Isaa" and 0a"ob' the 7ord! )olomon is said to be the smartest and isest person ali%e at that time <1
Hings BA29-8B=! ,od ga%e him great isdom and blessing and e%en appeared to )olomon in dreams! :oe%er
e%en )olomon(s heart as turned aay from ,od by his unbelie%ing i%es so that in his old age he be"ame an
idol orshipper <%erses B-?=! +hen e marry someone e be"ome 3one flesh3 ith then and e are "hanged by
them! +e be"ome more and more li#e them and they be"ome more and more li#e us! It may be in su"h small
things as gestures and fa"ial e.pressions! 2r it "an be so in the deeper things of the spirit! Marrying an
unbelie%er is li#e marrying someone ith a dose of spiritual Mflu! +e #eep on getting their spiritual ailments
passed on to us and be"ause e are so "lose to them e #eep on getting 3reinfe"ted3!Lnfortunately goodness
and %irtue does not seem to be as "ontagious as sin and spiritual apathy! )olomon did not impro%e his i%es -
rather the re%erse - he be"ame an idol orshipper and lost his #ingdom! 4ou "an be iser than )olomon if you
sti"# to belie%ers hen you ma#e your "hoi"e of marriage partner!
=eason 2*o B 2here is a fundaental spiritual incopatibility.
(# Corinthians '&1-B4&1 NCDV) =o not be une<ually yoked together with unbelievers. *or what fellowship has
righteousness with lawlessness6 /nd what communion has light with darkness6 {+!} /nd what accord has
8hrist with 'elial6 4r what part has a believer with an unbeliever6 {+#} /nd what agreement has the temple of
3od with idols6 *or you are the temple of the living 3od. /s 3od has said0 DI will dwell in them /nd walk among
them. I will be their 3od, /nd they shall be By people.D {+%} :herefore D8ome out from among them /nd be
separate, says the ord. =o not touch what is unclean, /nd I will receive you.D {+&} DI will be a *ather to you,
/nd you shall be By sons and daughters, 9ays the 4?= /lmighty.D :herefore, having these promises,
beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of 3od.
*here is a negati%e and a positi%e side to this! Jirstly the negati%e! *he body of a Christian is a temple of the
:oly )pirit here ,od dells! <)ee arti"leA 34our Body Is A temple 2f *he :oly )pirit3=! It is inappropriate for it to
be physi"ally @oined to the body of an unbelie%er! It ould be li#e building a passageay beteen a temple of
,od and temple of the 5e%il!
Lnbelie%ers are not spiritually neutral!
(>phesians #&1B3 NCDV) /nd you ;e made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, {2} in which you once
walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now
works in the sons of disobedience, {3} among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our
flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, $ust as the others.
Lnbelie%ers are spiritually dead <%!1= ! *hey follo the "ourse of this orld <%!2= - the donard groo%e! *hey
are a "ontrolled people ho strings are pulled by 3the prin"e of the poer of the air3<%!2=! At "riti"al points )atan
3pulls the strings3 - it may be hen you try to send them to )unday )"hool or arguments may alays start before
"hur"h! 4ou ill ha%e someone )atan "an "ontrol beside you' in your home' influen"ing your destiny and that of
your "hildren! *he unbelie%ers "ondu"t is a""ording to a loer set of prin"iples "alled 3the flesh3!
C8! +e all on"e "ondu"ted oursel%es in the lusts of our flesh' fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind!
*he flesh is opposed to the )pirit <,al $A16'1>= and the desires the unbelie%er ill see# to fulfill ill be "ontrary to
your highest and holiest desires! 4ou ill be in a life-long tug of arI 4ou ill probably miss out on fulfilling mu"h
that is truly onderful and godly as a result!
+hile on a human le%el a belie%er and an unbelie%er may lo%e ea"h other it is li#e to lines meeting at a tangent
or a ships "rossing at sea! *hey are dri%en by su"h fundamentally different prin"iples that there "an be no life-
long agreement! *he differen"e is beteen the prin"iples of righteousness and lalessness' light and dar#ness'
Christ and Belial' the temple of ,od and the temple of idols! *he in"ompatibility is absolute' basi"' and %ast !
*he Bible' hi"h is ,od(s ill and +ord does not see "ompromise as a possibility here! *he "all is to separation!
*he positi%e side is that those ho separate ill be blessed!
As ,od has saidA 3I ill dell in them And al# among them! I ill be their ,od' And they shall be My people!3
F1>G *herefore 3Come out from among them And be separate' says the 7ord! 5o not tou"h hat is un"lean' And
I ill re"ei%e you!3 F1?G 3I ill be a Jather to you' And you shall be My sons and daughters' )ays the 7265
Almighty!3 *herefore' ha%ing these promises' belo%ed' let us "leanse oursel%es from all filthiness of the flesh and
spirit' perfe"ting holiness in the fear of ,od!
1%ery "all to separation from sin "ontains the promise of reneed intima"y ith ,od and being his 3sons and
daughters3! It seems that ,od really appre"iates it hen people ma#e this sort of a stand for :im! :e is not an
aloof and demanding deity! 4our separation from an unbelie%er ill re"ei%e ,od(s reard' blessing' appro%al and
result in a deeper al# ith :im!
=eason 3 Because the children ay go astray fro 1od
(5euteronoy 4&3B- N=7V) =o not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their
daughters for your sons, {4} for that would turn away your children from following me, to serve other gods. :hen
the anger of the 4?= would be kindled against you, and he would destroy you <uickly.
(Neheiah 13&#3B#4 N=7V) In those days also I saw 7ews who had married women of /shdod, /mmon, and
Boab( {24} and half of their children spoke the language of /shdod, and they could not speak the language of
7udah, but spoke the language of various peoples. {2!} /nd I contended with them and cursed them and beat
some of them and pulled out their hair( and I made them take an oath in the name of 3od, saying, DEou shall not
give your daughters to their sons, or take their daughters for your sons or for yourselves. {2#} =id not @ing
9olomon of Israel sin on account of such women6 /mong the many nations there was no king like him, and he
was beloved by his 3od, and 3od made him king over all Israel( nevertheless, foreign women made even him to
sin. {2%} 9hall we then listen to you and do all this great evil and act treacherously against our 3od by marrying
foreign women6D
*he 7ord has a real heart for "hildren! :e #nos they model their parents! Its not @ust theoreti"al' "hildren do go
astray' "hildren are lost fore%er be"ause of an ungodly upbringing! In ;ehemiah e see a hole generation of
mi.ed up "hildren' unable e%en to spea# :ebre or Aramai" but adopting the language' "ulture and beliefs of
the nations around them! *his undoubtedly in"luded their religious beliefs! +hen "hildren are turned aay from
,od :is anger is #indled and it says :e3ould destroy you &ui"#ly3! +e see ,od(s anger "oming through
;ehemiah on this issue
/nd I contended with them and cursed them and beat some of them and pulled out their hair( and I made them
take an oath in the name of 3od, saying, DEou shall not give your daughters to their sons, or take their daughters
for your sons or for yourselves.
,od "ares about the #ids and :e ill be %ery angry if you marry an unbelie%er!
=eason - B It leads to a lifetie of defeat
(Doshua #3&11B13 N=7V) 'e very careful, therefore, to love the 4?= your 3od. {+2} *or if you turn back, and
$oin the survivors of these nations left here among you, and intermarry with them, so that you marry their women
and they yours, {+3} know assuredly that the 4?= your 3od will not continue to drive out these nations before
you( but they shall be a snare and a trap for you, a scourge on your sides, and thorns in your eyes, until you
perish from this good land that the 4?= your 3od has given you.
:o many Christians ha%e I seen li%ing defeated li%es be"ause they married an unbelie%erI *hey are so
numerous! *here are three stages to the "atastrophe! Jirstly ,od is no longer poerfully present and gi%ing
%i"tory and mira"les 3#no assuredly that the 7265 your ,od ill not "ontinue to dri%e out these nations before
you!3*hen there is a time of bitter frustration and pointlessness' a feeling of being trapped! 3but they shall be a
snare and a trap for you' a s"ourge on your sides' and thorns in your eyes3 the pain "an be so sharp that it ill
be li#e 3a thorn in your eyes3! 7astly e%erything you or# for goes up in smo#e there may be a foolish finan"ial
de"ision or an affair' al"oholism' unbelie%ing "hildren' e%en a de"eption! 4ou loo# ba"# on a life that should ha%e
been prosperous and rearding and instead you ha%e Mperished from the land3! 7oo# around you and see! *his
is not an idle threat from ,od! It really does happen!
=eason / B Correcting it can result in drastic and painful separations
(>Hra %&1B1# N=7V) /fter these things had been done, the officials approached me and said, D:he people of
Israel, the priests, and the evites have not separated themselves from the peoples of the lands with their
abominations, from the 8anaanites, the ;ittites, the Aeri>>ites, the 7ebusites, the /mmonites, the Boabites, the
Cgyptians, and the /morites. {2} *or they have taken some of their daughters as wives for themselves and for
their sons. :hus the holy seed has miFed itself with the peoples of the lands, and in this faithlessness the
officials and leaders have led the way.D ....:hen C>ra the priest stood up and said to them, DEou have trespassed
and married foreign women, and so increased the guilt of Israel. {++} .ow make confession to the 4?= the
3od of your ancestors, and do his will( separate yourselves from the peoples of the land and from the foreign
wives.D {+2} :hen all the assembly answered with a loud voice, DIt is so( we must do as you have said....
+rong marriages resulted in "ompulsory di%or"es on a large s"aleI *hey sent their foreign i%es aay and their
"hildren <19ra 10A8=! *hese di%or"es ere appro%ed by ,od at the time it as a "hoi"e beteen to painful
alternati%es and di%or"e as seen as the lesser of the to! But it must ha%e been %ery painful for all "on"erned!
If you are going out ith an unbelie%er or engaged to an unbelie%er then 19ra(s e.ample is for you! 4ou need to
separate from them! Absolutely' finally and &ui"#ly! < 2 Corinthians 6A1B->A1=
Eaul addresses the problem of people ho get "on%erted as married adults in I Corinthians >A12-16!*his as the
"ase for a large portion of the Corinthian "hur"h in the early days of Christianity! If e are married to an
unbelie%er at the point of our "on%ersion and they are illing to stay e are not to di%or"e them! A"ti%ely #illing
the marriage is rong! :oe%er if it ends then it is not to be "lung on to! *he impli"ation here is that out of ,od(s
#indness :e does not as# ne "on%erts to immediately di%or"e their partners! :e tolerates the marriage ! :e
#nos it as not a deliberate marrying of an unbelie%er! *hey ere married as unbelie%ers then one got
"on%erted! *hat is not a deliberate flaunting of ,od(s la by the belie%er!
(1 Corinthians 4&1#B1' NCDV) 'ut to the rest I, not the ord, say0 If any brother has a wife who does not
believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. {+3} /nd a woman who has a husband who
does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. {+4} *or the unbelieving husband is
sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband( otherwise your children would be
unclean, but now they are holy. {+!} 'ut if the unbeliever departs, let him depart( a brother or a sister is not
under bondage in such cases. 'ut 3od has called us to peace. {+#} *or how do you know, 4 wife, whether you
will save your husband6 4r how do you know, 4 husband, whether you will save your wife6
In a di%or"e situation beteen a unbelie%er and a belie%er the belie%er is to let the unbelie%er go! 3)top "linging
on in hopeI 7et them goI 4our hope for their sal%ation is un"ertain I3 is Eaul(s harsh message to the partner of
unbelie%ers! *here is a tremendous spiritual in"ompatibility and e are 3"alled to pea"e3! In the ;e *estament
,od does not as# Christians to di%or"e non-Christian partners but if they go they are free to lea%e! :e ould
rather e did not marry unbelie%ers in the first pla"eI *his spiritual in"ompatibility is often intra"table! ,od ne%er
promises that unbelie%ing partners ill be sa%ed! 6eligious "onfli"t often results in painful separations' some
before marriage and some after marriage! If you ant to a%oid a painful heart-ren"hing separation - then only
date and marry belie%ersI
=eason 7i? B Because of the pain it causes to other faily ebers.
(1enesis #'&3-B3/ N=7V) -hen Csau was forty years old, he married 7udith daughter of 'eeri the ;ittite, and
'asemath daughter of Clon the ;ittite( {3!} and they made life bitter for Isaac and ?ebekah.....13enesis 2&0+
.?9G2 :hen Isaac called 7acob and blessed him, and charged him, DEou shall not marry one of the 8anaanite
women.....13enesis 2&0# .?9G2 .ow Csau saw that Isaac had blessed 7acob and sent him away to Aaddan"
aram to take a wife from there, and that as he blessed him he charged him, DEou shall not marry one of the
8anaanite women,D
(1enesis #9&9B% N=7V) 9o when Csau saw that the 8anaanite women did not please his father Isaac, {)} Csau
went to Ishmael and took Bahalath daughter of /brahamHs son Ishmael, and sister of .ebaioth, to be his wife in
addition to the wives he had.
1sau(s foreign i%es 3made life bitter3 for his parents the &uiet ' godly and non-"onfrontational Isaa" and
6ebe#ah! 0ust hen they should ha%e been "elebrating grand"hildren they ere being deeply hurt! Lnbelie%ing
partners often "ause real grief to the family of the Christian partner! *heir ays are @ust not Christian ays and
)atan' ith his "ontrol strings atta"hed to their li%es' "an "reate pain' hurt and dis"ord through them! 1sau also
hurt himself' he sa that his rong marriages hurt his parents and that 0a"obs godly marriage delighted them so
in addition to his troublesome i%es he ent and too# belie%ing i%es in a sad attempt to in parental
blessing!<,enesis 2?A?'9=! :is original i%es ould ha%e been hurt by this! )o 1sau(s unise marriages ended
up hurting his parents' himself and his i%es! Also his "hoi"e of belie%ing partner as not altogether politi"! :e
ended up marrying a belie%er from the family of Ishmael' Isaa"(s dire"t ri%al! Children ho foolishly marry
unbelie%ers "ause their parents pain!
=eason 7even B Because *hen 1od"s Eudgent falls the faily *ill be divided.
(3u,e 14&3#B3- ) ?emember otHs wife. {33} :hose who try to make their life secure will lose it, but those who
lose their life will keep it. {34} I tell you, on that night there will be two in one bed( one will be taken and the other
left.
*o on one bed - the belie%er goes to be ith the 7ord at the rapture' the unbelie%er stays to e.perien"e the
@udgement of ,od! +hy did I in"lude the pre"eding %ersesD Be"ause marrying an unbelie%er is a form of trying
to ma#e your life se"ure! Its saying 3I(%e got to be married e%en if it means disobeying ,odI 2r I(%e got to marry
himOher e%en if it means disobeying ,od! 1%entually you ill lose that partner for eternity! 4our se"urity is' in
fa"t' %ery inse"ure! But the person ho remains single until they marry 3in the 7ord3 ill be able to still be ith
their partner for all eternity <although there are no marriages in hea%en there ill "ertainly be mu"h lo%e=! *hen
there is the strange referen"e to 7ot and his mi.ed up family! 7ot(s family had spent so long in )odom that many
members of it had absorbed its %alues!<,enesis 19A12-26= +hile the ;e *estament tells us that 7ot(s soul as
tormented day and night by hat he sa <2 Eeter 2A>!'?= it is "lear that this did not rub off on his family! :is ife
ended up as a pillar of salt and a memorial to the "onse&uen"es of lo%ing this present orld! :is to daughters
ere on the brin# of marrying unbelie%ers! *hese unbelie%ers s"offed at angels and perished in the destru"tion!
*he daughters had spent so long in )odom and been so eroded morally by their non-Christian friendships that
they later got 7ot drun# and "ommitted in"est ith him! <,enesis 19A80-8?=! *he des"endants of this union
be"ame the Ammonites and Moabites' perpetual enemies of Israel! +hen @udgement "ame the family as
shattered into fragments be"ause it had @oined itself to unbelie%ers and their ungodly %alue systems!
Conclusion
)o in "on"lusion there are se%en "ompelling reasons hy you should not marry an unbelie%erA
1! 4ou are not immune - e%en the smartest isest people "an be led astray from ,od by unbelie%ing
partners
2!*here is a fundamental spiritual in"ompatibility
8!Be"ause the "hildren may go astray from ,od
B!It leads to a lifetime of defeat
$! Corre"ting it "an result in drasti" and painful separations!
6! Be"ause of the pain it "auses to other family members
>! Be"ause hen ,od(s @udgment falls the family ill be di%ided!
Marrying an unbelie%er is not a grey area! Its not something that one Christian "an do and another not do! ,od
has said 3;o3therefore you do not ha%e a "hoi"e! If you are dating an unbelie%er you should prayerfully'
"arefully' and gently end the relationship! If you are attra"ted to a non-Christian admit your attra"tion to ,od and
then ma#e sure that the relationship does not de%elop! If ne"essary a%oid the person until your feelings subside!
4our future marriage is in"redibly important! Marry anyone you li#e' but only in the 3ord!
+hristian 0ie*
$! )o"ance A
<)ong of )ongs 1A1-2 ;IC= )olomon(s )ong of )ongs! F2G 7et him #iss me ith the #isses of his mouth-- for your
lo%e is more delightful than ine!
*hese first to %erses from the )ong of )ongs flo from the heart of a
passionate ,od! *he story of redemption has been "alled the 3di%ine
roman"e3 and that is "ertainly appropriate! *he Chur"h is Christ(s bride!
Idolatry is adultery! *he images of marriage' betrothal and roman"e are
among the best #non and deepest analogies to the lo%e of ,od for :is
people! ,od is lo%e and ,od is romanti"!
*his "lashes ith the 5eist %ie of ,od hi"h sees :im as the deta"hed
3"lo"#ma#er3 ho ound up the orld and then stood ba"#! *hat is not the
%ie of )"ripture hi"h spea#s of a ,od ho is passionately in lo%e ith
:is Creation!
<:osea 11A?-9 ;IC= 3:o "an I gi%e you up' 1phraimD :o "an I hand you
o%er' IsraelD :o "an I treat you li#e AdmahD :o "an I ma#e you li#e
QeboiimD My heart is "hanged ithin meK all my "ompassion is aroused!
F9G I ill not "arry out my fier"e anger' nor ill I turn and de%astate
1phraim! Jor I am ,od' and not man-- the :oly 2ne among you! I ill not
"ome in rath!
,od is not dispassionate! :e is not 3ob@e"ti%e3 in the sense of being
emotionless and "old! :e is in%ol%ed' :e lo%es' :e grie%es' :e feels!
*his brings me to the topi" of this arti"le - a Christian %ie of roman"e! Is it
right for Christians to be "aught up in lo%eD Is it 2H for us to heap
e.tra%agant praise on another human beingD 2r is the perfe"t Christian a "erebral "reature' "ontrolled and
e.a"tly fairD Are Christians alloed to e.aggerate ith the e.aggerations of lo%eD 2r is e.a"tness the greater
%irtueD Can e do mad' ild things for lo%e - or does responsibility alays ta#e preferen"eD As you may guess I
am going to argue for a large-hearted but pure passion! I belie%e that life is li%ed primarily from the heart! *hings
li#e faith' hope and lo%e are too big to be rational! *hey are messy! *hey ta#e us beyond the boundaries of
"on%ention' beyond hat e "an "ontrol and beyond hat many thin# is prudent' sensible or ise! 0esus as
often thought to be a madman! Eaul as told by a #ing that he had lost his mind! 0ohn +esley as a""used of
enthusiasm! *he early pioneer missionaries ere uniformly thought to be &uite "ra9y!
*here is an ob%ious need to ma#e a distin"tion beteen the passionate and pure lo%e of ,od and the passionate
lo%e of our husbands or i%es! But lets not ma#e too mu"h of a distin"tion be"ause )"ripture sees a %ery "lose
relationship beteen lo%ing people and lo%ing ,od!
<1 0ohn BA20-21 ;H0C= If someone says' 3I lo%e ,od'3 and hates his brother' he is a liarK for he ho does not
lo%e his brother hom he has seen' ho "an he lo%e ,od hom he has not seenD F21G And this "ommandment
e ha%e from :imA that he ho lo%es ,od must lo%e his brother also!
2he Beloved
In e%ery roman"e there is 3the belo%ed3! 2ur belo%ed is ,od' ,od(s belo%ed is :is Chur"h! In marriage the ife
is belo%ed of the husband and %i"e-%ersa! *he 3belo%ed3 is spe"ial! *hey are beautiful' they are "hosen' they are
different from any other person! *here is no egalitarianism here! I do not treat my ife as 3@ust another oman3!
;o oman on earth is her e&ual! )he does not treat me as 3@ust another man3 either! 2n"e the belo%ed is
"hosen there is an ele%ation in status that defies reason' fairness or @usti"e and hi"h is pure gra"e! I feel that I
do not deser%e the esteem in hi"h I am held by Minda but ne%ertheless she gi%es it illingly! ;either do I feel
that I deser%e the esteem in hi"h I am held by ,od but this is something :e also gi%es illingly!
<1phesians 2A6-> ;H0C= and raised us up together' and made us sit together in the hea%enly pla"es in Christ
0esus' F>G that in the ages to "ome :e might sho the e."eeding ri"hes of :is gra"e in :is #indness toard us
in Christ 0esus!
<)ong of )ongs 2A16 ;6)C= My belo%ed is mine and I am hisK he pastures his flo"# among the lilies!3My belo%ed
is mine and I am his!!3 that is part of roman"e! Christian roman"e is not 3open3! 6eal roman"e does not permit
the entry of other lo%ers! *rue roman"e "herishes the belo%ed to the e."lusion of all "ompetition! 6oman"e
allos the belo%ed to 3possess3 you! As the lo%e e.pressed in the )ong of )ongs matures there is a slight but
signifi"ant re%ersal of 2A16 in 6A8
<)ong of )ongs 6A8 ;6)C= I am my belo%ed(s and my belo%ed is mineK he pastures his flo"# among the lilies!5o
you noti"e the differen"eD ;o she says 3I am my belo%ed(s!!3 first of all! Instead of her @oy being first of all in
ha%ing him as her lo%er she no re@oi"es first of all in being his! )he has matured! )he has surrendered to lo%e!
In the roman"e beteen us and ,od e most often start out ith 3I ha%e found 0esus3 o%er the years that
matures into 30esus found me3! +e ha%e a sense of being ,od(s belo%ed! +e realise that :e "herishes us! *hat
our lo%e for :im is returned a thousand fold! *hat :e' the ,od of :ea%en' is e."ited about 3little ordinary old
me!!3! *o :im I am spe"ial! *hat is hat gra"e means! I am "hosen <not be"ause I deser%e it= I am spe"ial' I am
lo%ed! Christian be e."itedI 4ou are ,od(s and :e lo%es you! :e treasures you and adores you! :e ill #eep you
as the apple of :is eye!
<onour
<1 Eeter 8A> ;6)C= :usbands' in the same ay' sho "onsideration for your i%es in your life together' paying
honour to the oman as the ea#er se.' sin"e they too are also heirs of the gra"ious gift of life--so that nothing
may hinder your prayers!
<)ong of )ongs $A1$-16 ;IC= :is legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold! :is appearan"e is li#e
7ebanon' "hoi"e as its "edars! F16G :is mouth is seetness itselfK he is altogether lo%ely! *his is my lo%er' this
my friend' 2 daughters of 0erusalem!
6oman"e honours the other! It is 2H to put your belo%ed up on a pedestal! I am not ad%o"ating silliness or
obsession! I am ad%o"ating a romanti" lo%e that finds the good and hi"h pays attention to it! In )"ripture
honour is not only from the lesser to the greater but also from the greater to the lesser! *he Bible often "alls us
to honour those ho are less poerful than us or poorer than us! +e are to honour our i%es' our parents' the
aged and the elders in the "hur"h espe"ially those ho tea"h diligently! In the romanti" lo%e of Christ e are to
honour people and to e.alt them!! ;ot only should e glorify ,od but ,od also ants to glorify us!
<6omans ?A29-80 ;H0C= Jor hom :e fore#ne' :e also predestined to be "onformed to the image of :is )on'
that :e might be the firstborn among many brethren! F80G Moreo%er hom :e predestined' these :e also "alledK
hom :e "alled' these :e also @ustifiedK and hom :e @ustified' these :e also glorified!
Mean-spiritedness and "utting don of tall poppies is not a Christian %irtue! In fa"t ,od desires to honour
people! <0ohn 12A26 ;IC= +hoe%er ser%es me must follo meK and here I am' my ser%ant also ill be! My
Jather ill honour the one ho ser%es me! If ,od is not ashamed to honour us then e ought not be relu"tant to
honour one another! In fa"t e are "ommanded to do so! <6omans 12A10 ;H0C= Be #indly affe"tionate to one
another ith brotherly lo%e' in honour gi%ing preferen"e to one anotherK
In romanti" lo%e the honour gi%en to the belo%ed "an seem e.treme and e.aggerated! 1%en a "ursory reading of
the )ong of )ongs astonishes most people! 3;o-one "ould be li#e this3 is a "ommon "omment! *he truth is that
no-one is li#e that e."ept in the eyes of the belo%ed! +hen ,od loo#s at me :e sees someone utterly lo%ely!
4ou probably ould thin# ,od daft for thin#ing that of me! I often don(t feel lo%ely and hen I thin# of myself I
don(t thin# 3gee I must be attra"ti%e to ,od3! *hat ould be almost blasphemous! +hen ,od sees :is people as
lo%ely it is be"ause :e "hooses to see them that ay! :e "hooses to honour them! :e is fully aare of my faults
and sin but that does not deter :is passionate lo%e! Be"ause :e sees me as lo%ely then I ill be"ome lo%ely! :is
lo%e ill in the day and I ill be 3holy and blameless ithout spot or blemish3 hen Christ returns!
<1phesians 1AB ;H0C= @ust as :e "hose us in :im before the foundation of the orld' that e should be holy and
ithout blame before :im in lo%e'
:onouring our husband or ife "an be &uite an e.tra%agant thing! +e may ha%e to be parsimonious ith money
but e need not be parsimonious ith praise! Eraise is free so e "an be free to praiseI )olomon heaped praise
on his belo%ed and this as returned! +e reap hat e so! 4our praise of your partner is the #ey to your
partner anting to honour you! :arsh "riti"al people often feel they are missing out on the honour and praise
they deser%e! 7ess able or less dis"iplined people seem to get all the reards! Be"ause harsh "riti"al people do
not so praise and honour therefore they do not reap it! Instead they are often ignored and "ondemned hile
more positi%e people ho are patient ith others and ho honour them reap the glory! If you ant to be
honoured then "hange your ays and honour others!
Dealousy
<1.odus 8BA1B ;IC= 5o not orship any other god' for the 7265' hose name is 0ealous' is a @ealous ,od!
<)ong of )ongs ?A6-> H0C= )et me as a seal upon thine heart' as a seal upon thine armA for lo%e is strong as
deathK @ealousy is "ruel as the gra%eA the "oals thereof are "oals of fire' hi"h hath a most %ehement flame! F>G
Many aters "annot &uen"h lo%e' neither "an the floods dron itA if a man ould gi%e all the substan"e of his
house for lo%e' it ould utterly be "ontemned!
0ealousy is a name and an attribute of ,od and it is part of lo%e itself! 0ealousy is lo%e(s boundary! It is the
3ele"tri" fen"e3 that #eeps out intruders on the "o%enant! It stops lo%e 3being trampled by the neighbours "attle3!
A distin"tion needs to be made beteen unreasonable en%ious petty @ealousy and @ealousy that is proper to a
relationship! 0ealousy is meant to defend lo%e and not to destroy it! If @ealousy is eroding the marriage and
ma#ing it into a hostile suspi"ious battleground then it is no longer doing its proper @ob! 0ealousy is not good in
and of itself! It is only good if and hen it prote"ts the "o%enant relationship! 5uring the 1960(s there as a lot of
tal# of the %alue of 3open marriages3 and not being @ealous and ha%ing multiple partners! As people lost
an"horage in the bibli"al re%elation they ent and tried ne forms of se.ual relationship and the "onse&uen"es
ere disastrous! ;ot e%en the Almighty is that 3open3I 7o%e by its %ery nature needs the se"urity of a "o%enant!
+e need to be able to say 3My belo%ed is mine and I am his and his banner o%er me is lo%e!!3!
0ealousy is aroused hen someone or something else ta#es first pla"e in the heart of the belo%ed! I #no of one
oman ho left her al"oholi" husband be"ause 3she "ould not "ompete ith the bottle3! ,od ill not share us
ith other deities or ith 3the orld3!
<0ames BAB-$ ;H0C= Adulterers and adulteressesI 5o you not #no that friendship ith the orld is enmity ith
,odD +hoe%er therefore ants to be a friend of the orld ma#es himself an enemy of ,od! F$G 2r do you thin#
that the )"ripture says in %ain' 3*he )pirit ho dells in us yearns @ealously3D
0ealousy says 3A""ording to our agreement I should be first in your life! *hese other things should be se"ond'
third and last' some of them should not e%en be there at all3! Jor instan"e if a husband is often "onfiding in
another oman ho 3understands him3 then that is improper! *his oman is usurping the role of "onfidant that
rightly belongs to his ife! *his is a boundary %iolation and the ife is not being unreasonable if she as#s for it to
be "orre"ted! 4es it is 3being @ealous3 but it is a right and proper @ealousy!
2iing
<)ong of )ongs 2A> ;IC= 5aughters of 0erusalem' I "harge you by the ga9elles and by the does of the fieldA 5o
not arouse or aa#en lo%e until it so desires!
<1""lesiastes 8A? ;IC= a time to lo%e and a time to hate' a time for ar and a time for pea"e!
6oman"e is odd! It has its on timing! +e see this ith people be"oming Christians! +e tea"h and prea"h and
pray and nothing seems to happen for years then one day 3for no apparent reason3 they get "on%erted and fall in
lo%e ith 0esus! It is also li#e that ith falling in lo%e! It is imper%ious to reason' it "annot be made to happen' but
hen it does at"h outI 7o%e has its time! *he )ong of )ongs tells us not to aa#en or arouse lo%e until it
pleases and it says this a number of times in fairly strong terms! +hyD Be"ause if e are manipulated into lo%ing
someone it li#e they ha%e in%aded our innermost being here our deepest and most personal "hoi"es are made!
1%entually e rebel and the rea"tion is often &uite strong and destru"ti%e! *he manipulated person tends to feel
angry and "old and does not easily forgi%e! *he lesson for most of us is- don(t try and "reate a fire if there is no
spar#I
+hen the season for lo%e "omes then it is onderful ! *he spar# be"omes a flame %ery &ui"#ly indeedI! +hen I
as young I asted enormous amounts of energy trying to turn good friends into girlfriends! I thought that as
the ay it 3should happen3! But lo%e has its seasons and is obstinate! My obser%ation is that if there is a 3spar#(
and a 3"li"#3 beteen to people then it is generally there from day one! <+ith a fe e."eptions of "ourse=! I am
"urrently of the opinion that if someone is truly 3@ust a good friend3 and has been that ay for a number of
months then it is unli#ely they ill e%er be anything more! 0a"ob lo%ed 6a"hel from day one hen he sa her at
the ell! *here as 3spar#3 and roman"e that endured! :e as a one oman man! Eoor 7eah ' all of 7aban(s
"unning and her on intrigue "ould not ma#e her the belo%ed! 7o%e has its time and "hooses its ob@e"t and
nothing "an budge it!
7e?uality
*rue roman"e is alays heterose.ual! *he roman"e beteen Christ and the Chur"h is beteen a bridegroom
and :is bride! *he roman"e in the )ong of )ongs is blatantly heterose.ual! It "elebrates the differen"es beteen
the genders and re@oi"es in the se.ual a"t! *here is a sense of onder in the se.ual attributes of the other!! *his
is in sharp "ontrast ith the ,ree# %ie of lo%e hi"h at times enshrined homose.uality as the ideal! +ritings
su"h as Elato(s Ehaedrus e.tol the %irtues of lo%e beteen an older man and his teenage male lo%er! *his as
so abhorrent to the riters of the ;e *estament that they ne%er used the "ommon ,ree# ord 3eros3 to
des"ribe Christian lo%e' possibly be"ause of its strong homose.ual "onnotations
*he :ebreOChristian %ie of roman"e is ne%er ase.ual or homose.ual! +hen lo%e is beteen people of the
same gender it is not romanti" lo%e! It is friendship or Christian felloship and regard! 7o%e beteen the same
gender is 3agape3 or 3phileo3' ords hi"h generally "arry fe impli"ations of roman"e! *he :ebre ord for
lo%e 3ahab3 of %ery broad appli"ation similar to the 1nglish ord lo%e but it ne%er refers to homose.uality! In fa"t
its "onte.t is a "o%enant that stipulates that homose.uality is "learly sin!<7e%iti"us 20A18= 7ess ob%ious is the fa"t
that true roman"e is ne%er ase.ual! It is ne%er unappre"iati%e of se.uality! It does not suppress gender
differen"es and it is rarely politi"ally "orre"t! As the romanti" Jren"h say 3%i%e la differen"e3 - in other ords long
li%e the differen"es beteen the se.esI Ase.uality is sub-Christian and "ertainly not part of the )ong of )ongsI
*he "elebration of se.uality ithin the bounds of )"ripture and of marriage is an important part of the Christian
%ie of roman"e! *hough the roman"e begins before marriage ith attra"tion and betrothal it is in the a"t of
marriage that it finds its highest "onsummation! )e. is not bad! It is %ery' %ery good! It is not rong for a
Christian to en@oy se. or to se.ually appre"iate their husband or ife! If the )ong of )ongs tea"hes us anything it
tea"hes us that being appre"iati%e of the se.ual side of life is normal and good and "an be a %ery high and
beautiful thing to do!
<)ong of )ongs >A>-11 ;IC= 4our stature is li#e that of the palm' and your breasts li#e "lusters of fruit! F?G I said'
3I ill "limb the palm treeK I ill ta#e hold of its fruit!3 May your breasts be li#e the "lusters of the %ine' the
fragran"e of your breath li#e apples' F9G and your mouth li#e the best ine! May the ine go straight to my lo%er'
floing gently o%er lips and teeth! F10G I belong to my lo%er' and his desire is for me! F11G Come' my lo%er' let us
go to the "ountryside' let us spend the night in the %illages!
$rivacy
If se.uality is to be "elebrated there needs to be pri%a"y hen"e the fre&uent referen"es to 3the "hamber3 in )ong
of )ongs! *he deepest re"esses of roman"e are essentially pri%ate! *he attendants of the bride and bridegroom
"an see the @oy of the "ouple but they "annot enter the inner "hamber ith them! 1%ery roman"e needs a "ertain
amount of 3pri%ate spa"e3 free from intrusion! *his in"ludes our roman"e ith ,od and perhaps is part of the
reason that mysti"s seem to spend so mu"h time alone! *he deepest parts of prayer are pri%ate!
<Matthe 1BA28 ;H0C= And hen :e had sent the multitudes aay' :e ent up on the mountain by :imself to
pray! ;o hen e%ening "ame' :e as alone there!
Intima"y de%elops in the small things and most "ouples de%elop a sort of 3"ommuni"ation "ode3 of shared @o#es
and referen"es that only they understand! *he "ore of the marriage e%entually be"omes a treasure-tro%e of
memories and affe"tions! 1%en the "hildren do not fully understand it! *hat is right and proper! 2""asionally this
boundary is %iolated and this "an happen in to ays! Jirstly it "an be o%erdone so that the "ouple li%e in a self-
absorbed orld of their on and share their @oy ith no-one! Blessings hoarded soon turn stale and su"h
marriages sometimes be"ome inard' strained and sometimes abusi%e! *he other e.treme is that they tal#
about their intimate affairs ith all and sundry! *his "heapens and ea#ens the marriage eroding basi" trust!
+ho ould trust their partner ith anything if it ill soon be"ome "hur"h or ton gossipD
*his also refle"ts on se.ual restraint before marriage! +hy should you admit someone into the most pri%ate area
of your body and soul if they are @ust using you for re"reationD )urely these things are best sa%ed up for the
person you ill share them ith on a life-long basis! Jor the person ho ill treasure them and you!
0inal =eflections and + =adical 7uggestion
*his essay has %isited a fe of the ma@or stops on the @ourney "alled roman"e but roman"e ill alays remain a
mystery! I don(t ish to put anyone don hen I say this but I thin# many of our marriage boo#s in Christian
"ir"les ma#e the hole thing far too "ompli"ated! 2ne I ha%e finished reading strongly ad%o"ates ha%ing a
support group and therapistI It seems o%er-"ompli"ated and absurd! :ere is my radi"al suggestion! *hat e stop
thin#ing about relationships and start thin#ing about people! 4epI I am 100P serious! *here is no "ommandment
that says anything li#e 3ha%e a good marriage3 *he Bible tells me to thin# about my ife and to lo%e her! *hat(s
different! I "an "ontrol ho I treat my ife! I "annot "ontrol her response to me! *he fo"us in )"ripture is
ob@e"ti%e not sub@e"ti%e' on the person not on the state of the relationship! )olomon does not "ry out (hat a
onderful relationship e ha%e(' instead he says 3hat a onderful bride you areI3! *he fo"us is primarily on the
person not the relationship!
If e fo"us on the person e%erything simplifies %ery &ui"#ly! 3+hat does my ife need todayD3 be"omes the
appropriate &uestion! 2n the other hand I suspe"t that fo"using on the relationship is in fa"t a roundabout ay of
fo"using on hat e are re"ei%ing from it! +hen I thin# 3our relationship is no good3 hat I am often thin#ing is
3she is treating me badly today3 or something similar! I am fo"using on hat I am re"ei%ing and 3fi.ing the
relationship3 often means 3ma#ing sure I get hat I ant out of it3!
+hile that is a better attitude than ignoring the arning signs it is' in my %ie' a bit short-sighted and does not
properly so good things into the other person(s life! I see roman"e as "entered on the person not on an
abstra"tion "alled 3the relationship3! )imilarly e "an get bogged don ith orry o%er 3our prayer life3 hen it
ould be &ui"#ly re%itali9ed if e fo"used on ,od and in obeying and adoring :im! Jo"using on the prayer life
#ills it! Jo"using on the Eerson is life itselfI
<0ohn 1>A8 ;IC= ;o this is eternal lifeA that they may #no you' the only true ,od' and 0esus Christ' hom you
ha%e sent!
May I &ui"#ly say that I do not intend the abo%e 3radi"al suggestion3 to be a harsh "riti"ism of anyone at all! It is
an obser%ation about ho tangled and "ompli"ated the hole marriage guidan"e s"ene has be"ome and refle"ts
my personal desire for a simpler approa"h! Jeel free to thin# about it and toss it around <or e%en toss it out=!
6oman"e is at the "ore of my being and it infiltrates all I do! *hat I thin# is right! 6oman"e is not something e
do after or#! It is the furna"e inside us that enables us to or#!
<,enesis 29A20 ;H0C= )o 0a"ob ser%ed se%en years for 6a"hel' and they seemed only a fe days to him
be"ause of the lo%e he had for her!I hope that this arti"le has helped you and perhaps intrigued you' into letting
roman"e flo into both your 5i%ine and human relationships!
e1 Be!ore Marriage2
Prostitution and ST34s S
,od has designed a Lni%erse that operates on
the prin"ipal of one se.ual partner for life! *he
folloing s"enarios are forbidden in )"ripture!
1!Adultery <1.odus 20A1B' 5euteronomy 22A22=
2!Eromis"uity <Mar# >A21' 1 Corinthians 6A9' :ebres 18AB=
8!Erostitution <7e%iti"us 19A29' 1 Corinthians 6A1$'16=
B!)ift remarriage after di%or"e <serial monogamy=!<Matthe
$A2>-82=
$!)e. before marriage ith a partner other than the intended
spouse! <5euteronomy 22A18-21=
6!6ape of an engaged or married oman <5euteronomy 22A28'2B=
*he Bible(s rule of thumb is that it is the second seFual partner that gets ,od angriest!
7e? Before Garriage With 2he $erson )ou >ventually Garry
*his lea%es the ob%ious loophole of ha%ing se. before marriage ith the person you e%entually
do marry! ,od(s ideal is to be a 3pure %irgin3 on the edding day! <2 Corinthians 11A2= and this
is ob%iously the aim of the 5euteronomy 22 passage listed abo%e! )e. ith a single partner
before marriage is only addressed in to pla"es in )"ripture that I "an find ! Seduction of an
unengaged virgin is addressed in 1.odus 22A16'1> - the penalty is to pay the full bride pri"e
and generally marry the girl! Rape of an unengaged virgin re&uires marriage to ta#e pla"e
and the full bride pri"e to be paid! <5euteronomy 22A2?'29= and he may not di%or"e her e%er!
*he man gets stu"# ith a hurt' angry oman for life! *hus the penalty for se. before marriage
- is marriage! *his does not 3ma#e it 2H3 if you do get married later! )e. before marriage is not
,od(s ideal but neither did :e ma#e it a "apital offense! If it as' then )atan "ould ha%e used
the 7a to "arry out his enmity against Christ and ha%e Mary stoned to death for being
pregnant before marriage! *here is no la against being pregnant before marriage in )"ripture
hoe%er from the passages abo%e it is "learly e.pe"ted that marriage ould ta#e pla"e under
su"h "ir"umstan"es! *o use today(s legal terminology se. before marriage is a misdemeanor
and not a "riminal offense - pro%iding it is ith the person you e%entually marry! +ith a $0P
rate of brea#don for engagements you are ta#ing a huge ris#! Many Christians "an testify to
the e.tra pain that o""urs hen a relationship brea#s up if there has been signifi"ant se.ual
in%ol%ement! *he pain is @ust not orth it! )ti"# to ,od(s ideal and ait until the edding day!
7e? Before Garriage +s + =ecreational +ctivity Without +ny =eal 3asting Coitent.
*he Bible "alls this "harlotry" or "prostitution" and "fornication"! It is rong' rong' rong!
7ittle distin"tion is made beteen the paid and unpaid %ersions! In the Mosai" 7a it resulted in
the death penalty' in the ;e *estament it pre%ents entry into the Hingdom of ,od! 7i#e any
sin it "an be "leansed and forgi%en but is sin and it is rong and Christians must not engage in
it! *he natural penalty ,od has designed for this is se.ually transmitted disease hi"h is part
of that "omple. of things in%lo%ed in illi"it se. that the bible "alls 3burning3 or 3ta#ing fire to
one(s breast3 hi"h denotes the physi"al pain of the disease as ell as the searing of soul and
"ons"ien"e and the destru"tion it rea#s in one(s life and relationships!
*he "hur"h in Corinth had a problem ith "hur"h members %isiting the temple of Aphrodite and
having sex with the prostitutes! *his is dis"ussed at length in 1 Corinthians 6N> here the
(agamos( or unmarried ere told 3it is better to marry than to burn3! *hat is it is better to ha%e
se. in marriage than enter into destru"ti%e relationships ith prostitutes! *he 3agamos3 ere a
spe"ial group only mentioned at length in this epistle! *hey are not 3parthenoi3 or %irgins and
neither are they idos! 6ather they are unmarried but pre%iously se.ually a"ti%e people! *hat
is either di%or"ed or de fa"to or ith a history of promis"uity that as "ommon in that "ity! *heir
se.uality as aroused' they felt they "ouldn(t 3do ithout se.3 and rather than "ommit adultery
they ere using prostitutes to relie%e the tension! In the light of this Eaul says 3be"ause of
immorality ea"h man should ha%e his on ife!!3 a most unusual statement if its tal#ing about
%irgins getting married! *he Bible normally re@oi"es in marriage and nohere else is marriage
%ieed as a "on"ession or a response to immorality! Eaul spends "hapter > saying ho "haste
relationships ere preferable but if they ere not possible then marriage as the proper outlet
for their se. dri%e - this as a "on"ession not a "ommand! Lntil re"ently the "onte.t of the
problem in "hapter 6 as not asso"iated ith the "ommands in "hapter > be"ause the idea of
the 3agamos3 as not "ommon in the "hur"hes and "hur"h members %isiting prostitutes as
unthin#able! ;ot so today unfortunately! +e should find proper marriage partners for the
members of our "ongregations ho fa"e the problem of being single ith strong se.ual urges!
Meanhile those ho struggle ith temptation should stri%e to refrain from se. outside of
marriage!
7e?ually 2ransitted 5iseases J 2he $roble of 7hae
)e.ually transmitted diseases ha%e long been asso"iated ith both heterose.ual and
homose.ual promis"uity <6omans 1A1?-2$=! In "lassi"al literature it as #non as 3the fire3! An
apt term that "ombines @udgment' the pain of the disease and the heat of lust all in one
metaphor! Lnfortunately if statisti"s are anything to go by perhaps a &uarter of any "hur"h
"ongregation ill ha%e a se.ually transmitted disease <#non as )*5()=!
*he disease is a"&uired during a time of sin and rebellion but persists into the redeemed life as
many )*5(s ha%e no #non medi"al "ure! *his is one of the main "ontributing reasons for
Christians marrying non-Christians as Christians ith )*5(s feel alone and isolated and
belie%e no Christian ould marry them! 7et me be "lear - I do not ha%e and ha%e ne%er had an
)*5! :oe%er many of my "lose friends do ha%e them and are deeply ashamed of the fa"t!
*hey sit at the ba"# of the "hur"h and generally only build relationships ith the 3not so holy3
or %ery a""epting people! *hey feel se"ond "lass "iti9ens in the Hingdom of ,od! *hey see the
presen"e of the disease as indi"ating ,od(s "ontinuing displeasure ith their life! It is also %ery
embarrassing to as# for prayer for healing of an )*5 so ,od is not alloed in - and medi"al
s"ien"e "an do nothing! Its a %ery sad and alienating situation! :ere are a fe pointersA
1! 4our disease is not part of your identity and ill not a""ompany you to hea%en' it is not a part of
your true self! It dells in your flesh and ill %anish hen you die!
2! If you are a repentant Christian ,od has forgi%en the sin that lead to the disease!
8! 4our tas# no is to maintain godly se.ual relationships so you do not go ba"# into sin and so
3orse does not befall you3! *herefore it is imperati%e that you identify ith here you are going
<hea%en= rather than here you ha%e "ome from in your past!
B! *he blood of 0esus Christ "leanses you from all sin!
$! 4ou are @ust as mu"h a Christian as anyone else! Eaul "alled the Christians in Corinth 3saints3!
6! *he @udgment of ,od on you has finished but the "onse&uen"es of that @udgment may be ith you
for some time!
>! 4our body is a temple of the :oly )pirit that ,od ants to be "lean and undefiled therefore :e
desires to heal you of your disease and restore you to "onfiden"e and @oy!
?! 4ou should see# ,od for healing and parti"ularly for mer"y and for gra"e! :e is #ind and :e lo%es
you!
7uary and Conclusion
*he Bible forbids all forms of se. before marriage e."ept se. ith the person you are going to marry
and e%en then it is %ieed negati%ely as a falling short of ,od(s ideal of being a pure %irgin at the
altar! *he pain both emotionally and physi"ally and spiritually is intense! 7ife-long shame "an result!
:oe%er e%en in the orst "ases ,od(s gra"e is bigger than our sin and restoration and forgi%eness
"an o%er"ome mu"h of the damage of the past! +hile in this life purity may ha%e been lost in Christ
our glory ill be restored! In the resurre"tion all sin and shame ill be forgotten as you and I are
transformed in the tin#ling of an eye and made glorious' spiritual and pure! I ill end ith a fe
%erses from 1 Corinthians!!!
<1 Corinthians 6A9-11 ;A)B= 2r do you not #no that the unrighteous shall not inherit
the #ingdom of ,odD 5o not be de"ei%edK neither forni"ators' nor idolaters' nor
adulterers' nor effeminate' nor homose.uals' F10G nor thie%es' nor the "o%etous' nor
drun#ards' nor re%ilers' nor sindlers' shall inherit the #ingdom of ,od! F11G And such
were some of you; but you were washed' but you ere san"tified' but you ere
@ustified in the name of the 7ord 0esus Christ' and in the )pirit of our ,od!
Gasturbation
(Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of!
It(s not something to be parti"ularly proud of'
either!( <Matt ,roening=
A single oman' in her forties' a staff-member in a
fundamentalist "hur"h "ame for "ounselling! )he(d been
referred by her senior pastor' ho didn(t #no her
(problem(' and she didn(t ant to tell him' but she said she
(needed to tal# to someone about something!( )he sat
ner%ously on the edge of the "hair' briefly s#et"hed some
aspe"ts of her history' and then paused for a long time!
1%entually she stutteredA (A"tually my problem(s a terrible
one! My "hur"h prea"hes that I(ll go to hell for doing this!!!
It(s the (big M(!( (2h'( I said' (masturbation!( Consider thisA
()e.ual release is @ust as important as any #ind of
emotional release! )aying that you shouldn(t masturbate
is li#e saying that you shouldn(t "ry hen you(re upset or
hurt' or that you should hold in anger and other emotions!
I see no differen"e beteen se.ual release and emotional release! ;ot releasing ill only result in stress and
health problems! And I #no that I need no more stress in my life! I figure' if something helps a person relie%e
stress' "lear their mind' and ma#e them feel better <that doesn(t hurt others' mind you=' then more poer to
them(! <+oman on Internet nesgroup=!
2r' on the other hand' thisA
*he Cate"hism of the Catholi" Chur"h <199B pp! $6B-$66= lists si. (2ffenses against "hastity(A lust' masturbation'
forni"ation' pornography' prostitution' and rape! Masturbation <to hi"h most spa"e is gi%en of the si.I=' (is an
intrinsi"ally and gra%ely disordered a"tion(! :oe%er' some (psy"hologi"al and so"ial fa"tors( may (lessen or e%en
e.tenuate moral "ulpability(!
+hy is masturbation so "ontro%ersial for most ChristiansD Is it simply a (rub and ti"#le( that may be good for youD
2r is it a habit the de%il espe"ially en"ourages to indu"e destru"ti%e guilt andOor rob us of our (se.ual purity(D
:o did masturbation get su"h a (bad rap( from so many Christian prea"hersD
An 1n"y"lopaedia of )e.ual Beha%iour notesA (;o form of se.ual a"ti%ity has been more fre&uently dis"ussed'
more roundly "ondemned and more uni%ersally pra"tised than masturbation!( <*hey say 90P of men masturbate
and the other 10P are liars! ;o one #nos ho many omen masturbateA estimates range from 80P to 90P=!
In my "ounselling pra"ti"e the sub@e"t "omes up' almost alays ithout any prompting from me' at least on"e a
fortnight! *he Internet sear"h engine Alta Cista ga%e me 26'>1B referen"es to the noun <only 11'$?$ for the
%erbI=! )o a lot of people are orried' angry' "onfused' guilty - or @ust plain thin#ing - about masturbation!
2he Conservative +pproach
Jor "onser%ati%e Christians - Catholi"' Erotestant and others - (self-abuse( is the misuse of the body' hi"h is the
temple of the indelling spirit of ,od! Indeed the deri%ation of the ord <7atin (manus( - hand' and (stuprare( - to
defile= has a pe@orati%e "onnotation!
Jor modern "onser%ati%e Christians' the first &uestion <and it(s a good one= usually isA (+hat does the Bible sayD(
*hey ha%e probably heard prea"hers and "ampfire youth spea#ers &uote these te.tsA 2 Corinthians >A1A 37et us
"leanse oursel%es of all filthiness of the flesh!3 1phesians BA22A 37aying aside the old self' hi"h is being
"orrupted in a""ordan"e ith the lusts of de"eit!3 *hen' if the prea"her is arming to his <omen don(t prea"h on
this' mu"h= theme' he(ll "ite the story of 2nan and some passages from 7e%iti"us! 2nan(s sin <,enesis 8?AB-10'
B6A12' ;umbers 26A19' 1 Chroni"les 2A80 as not masturbation but failure to impregnate his dead brothers( ife'
*amar!
*hen there(s 7e%iti"us 1$A16-1?! *his moralO"eremonial re&uirement of the la has to be put into the "onte.t of
Israel(s purifi"ation rituals! *hese purifi"ation rites do not "ondemn masturbation <if anything' a (dis"harge( is
a""epted as the sort of thing that fre&uently happens=!
)ummaryA the Bible says nothing spe"ifi"ally in fa%our or against masturbation!
2he 3iberal +pproach
Masturbation and pornography are not e%il in themsel%es a""ording to many liberal Christians! After all' it(s your
on body and your on pri%ate life and may be a form of %ery safe se.! *o &uote the rele%ant arti"le in the
respe"ted (5i"tionary of Eastoral Care and Counselling( <Abingdon' 1990=A (*here is no e%iden"e that
masturbation' regardless of fre&uen"y' leads to physi"al or mental disorders! R)nee9ing and masturbationS are
both usually orgasmi" e.perien"es in hi"h tensions are relie%edT ;e%er has a more harmless a"ti%ity pro%o#ed
more harmful an.iety!(
But both "onser%ati%es and liberals may be missing the point! Conser%ati%es may be rongA not all masturbation
is sinful! 7iberals may be rongA some masturbation may be harmful or e%en e%il! (7onely( masturbation is self-
isolating se. ithout intima"y! It disasso"iates the se.ual a"t from a lo%ing relationship' and is therefore often a
symptom of a deeper problem! Jor Christians' I(%e found there are three broad issues! Jirst' the masturbation
habit has produ"ed heaps of bad shame' guilt' "onfusion and "ondemnation in a lot of people' parti"ularly
younger Christians! *he se"ond issue is self-"ontrol - a produ"t of the :oly )pirit(s presen"e in our li%es
<,alatians $A28' 2 *imothy 1A>=! If a habit has mastery o%er us - parti"ularly if it is obsessi%e - it "an be a serious
problem! *he third issue is fantasi9ing' here e imagine general or spe"ifi" s"enes or persons as e
masturbate! *his is asso"iated ith the deadly sin of (lust( - "o%eting someone else for our gratifi"ation <see
Matthe $A2>-2?=! If a habit li#e masturbation be"omes "ompulsi%e in this respe"t' it ould be good to get
professional ad%i"e!
*his &uote from e%angeli"al "ounsellorOauthor ,ary Collins ould represent my on general positionA
(Christian "ounsellors differ in their %ie of masturbation! It has been "alled (sin(' (a gift from ,od(' and an issue
hi"h is (no big deal!!! on ,od(s list of priorities!( Masturbation "an!!! produ"e guiltK "an be a means of es"aping
from loneliness and interpersonal <in"luding se.ual= relationships ith others into a orld of fantasyK "an
in"rease self-"entredness and loered self-esteemK and "an stimulate and be stimulated by lust!!! Masturbation
is rarely helped by a dire"t determination to &uit! *his fo"uses attention on the issue' in"reases an.iety' and
ma#es failure more in"riminating!
Masturbation "an be redu"ed by prayer' a sin"ere illingness to let the :oly )pirit "ontrol' in%ol%ement in busy
a"ti%ities in%ol%ing others' an a%oidan"e of se.ually arousing material <su"h as eroti" pi"tures or no%els=' a
pra"ti"e of not delling on harmful se.ual fantasies' and a re"ognition that sin <in"luding lust= ill be forgi%en
hen it is "onfessed ith sin"erity and sorro!!! +hen there is open "ommuni"ation on the sub@e"t of se.'
in"luding masturbation!!! it ill!!! not be"ome a ma@or problem!!! It(s high time e stop ma#ing su"h a (big deal(
out of masturbation and gi%e it the ell-deser%ed unimportan"e it merits! ,ary Collins' Christian Counselling'
+a"o *e.asA +ord Boo#s' 19?0' p!296'
from 6oland Crou"her' *he JamilyA at :ome in a :eartless +orld <:arperCollins=' &uoted ith permission!
<*he full te.t is on the 0MM home page=
)halomI 6oland Crou"her
5ire"tor' 0ohn Mar# Ministries - resour"es for pastorsOleaders!
<Boo#room' library' and orldide J!+!Boreham *rading Eost=
:ome EageA httpAOO!pastornet!net!auO@mm <B$0 arti"les no=
7ection 3 B Cloning and +bortion
This section covers the !ollo*ing issues5
'loning
)hen 5oes Life begin6
7 !rgu"ents !gainst !bortion
loning& <as 7cience
1one 2oo 0ar6 C
-ith the cloning of D=ollyD, an adult sheep , the possibility of cloning
mammals "including humans has opened up. 1*or a good article on the
technology behind this go to the .ew 9cientist website at
http0IIwww.newscientist.com.2. 9cientists have also recently begun the
process of storing human memories on silicon chips so they can be
implanted in the brain and eFperienced by others.1''8"":G D*uture
*antastic 9eries " 'rainstormD2 In the not too distant future it is
envisaged that we will be able to replicate a personHs. body, mind and
memories. In the J9/ and many other countries this would currently be
perfectly legal..:his article will eFplore the biblical ethics of cloning
human beings and why it $ust canHt be 3odHs will.
(,enesis 2A20-2$ ;H0C=
)o Adam ga%e names to all "attle' to the birds of the air' and
to e%ery beast of the field! But for Adam there as not found
a helper "omparable to him! F21G And the 7265 ,od "aused
a deep sleep to fall on Adam' and he sleptK and :e too# one
of his ribs' and "losed up the flesh in its pla"e! F22G *hen the rib hi"h the 7265 ,od had ta#en
from man :e made into a oman' and :e brought her to the man! F28G And Adam saidA 3*his is
no bone of my bones And flesh of my fleshK )he shall be "alled +oman' Be"ause she as ta#en out of Man!3
F2BG *herefore a man shall lea%e his father and mother and be @oined to his ife' and they shall be"ome one
flesh! F2$G And they ere both na#ed' the man and his ife' and ere not ashamed!
2he Kuandary
2he arguent for cloning....
Cloning human beings has many ad%antages and "ould sol%e infertility problems' help ith the s"ar"ity of
suitable organ transplants' and gi%e rise toa so"iety of physi"ally perfe"t indi%iduals! Combined ith a""urate
geneti" testing and a "ulling of defe"ti%e humans through abortions e "ould produ"e a physi"ally e."ellent
so"iety ith far loer health "osts' more produ"ti%e or#ers' more "ompatible and less stressed marriages ' and
a longer o%erall lifespan! Ltopia through geneti" engineering! +ouldn(t ,od ant thisD After all :e did the first bit
of geneti" engineering didn(t :eD
2he arguent against cloning....
Cloning human beings is almost the ultimate a"t of human arrogan"e other than openly de"laring to be ,od! +e
do not need or ant a so"iety of physi"ally perfe"t but morally insensate people! *o mo%e toard su"h a orld is
to denigrate the %alue of the not so beautiful people! As Mar# *ain said 3,od must li#e ordinary loo#ing fol#
"onsidering ho he made so many of them3! *his is a genie that ill not go ba"# in the bottle'it is a mess so
"omple.' that if e e%er permit it' it ill be our nightmare fore%er!
Was >ve the first huan clone6
,od too# a rib from Adam and formed 1%e from it to produ"e a being that as 3bone of his <Adam(s= bone and
flesh of his flesh3 but of the opposite gender! I belie%e that ea"h human "ell has the possibility of being any other
"ell! Jor instan"e a foot "ould be an eye! A "omple. system of 3gene e.pression and repression3 determines
hi"h "ells are 3turned on3 or 3turned off3 and hether a "ell has male or female "hara"teristi"s! +hat ,od did
ith Adam as not "loning!! Cloning ould ha%e made Adam and Adam not Adam and 1%e! Also "urrent "loning
te"hni&ues produ"e babies of identi"al geneti" "omposition to the gene donor - not instant mature adults hi"h
is hat happened ith 1%e! +e still need a uterus and the pro"ess of gestation to ta#e a single "ell and turn it
into a %iable "loned mammal! ! *heologi"ally spea#ing ,od is a great geneti" engineer ho is not so dull as to
ma#e the first to human beings absolutely identi"al in all respe"ts! :e made people that ere "omplementary
and brought them into perfe"t spiritual and emotional oneness! *he marriage of Adam and 1%e as the "losest
e%er e.perien"ed! 1%e as belo%ed as 3bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh3' there as total openness ' not
e%en the presen"e of shame' and a deep and a fulfilling "reati%e "ommission to be "arried out in a beautiful and
perfe"tly romanti" en%ironment and a personal intimate and daily "ommunion ith ,od! *his as marred not by
physi"al "ompatibility but by disobedien"e! *heir geneti" "loseness ould ha%e sur%i%ed their e.pulsion from
1den but of itself it as not an ade&uate basis for their marriage! Being geneti"ally related did not pre%ent
shame and guilt from ta#ing their toll and "ausing them to blame ea"h other and hide from ,od! *he attempt to
geneti"ally engineer your perfe"t partner ould be futile ithout the learning of "orresponding spiritual and
relational s#ills! 5oes ,od(s geneti" engineering of 1%e gi%e us a mandate to do li#e iseD *o state the ob%ious'
different mandates e.ist for the Creator and the "reature! *he Creator is alloed to "hoose :is methods for'
after all' :e is All-+ise! +e are not! +e are &uite unable to predi"t ' let alone "ontrol' the future of our
te"hnology! *his alone should mo%e us to "aution in su"h a dangerous area as "loning humans!
Why 1od does not (genetically engineer( people any ore.
,od stopped ma#ing people from ribs after :e made 1%e! :is intent is for people to reprodu"e after their on
#ind %ia natural means! :e ants "hildren to be raised in families not nurseries! :e ants lo%e' not "al"ulation'
to be behind their "on"eption' and :e ants "hildren to be uni&ue! Jor ea"h to gro up ith their on hard on
identity and sense of self! *he reprodu"tion of humans' ho are the image of ,od' is to be se.ual' intimate and
lo%ing! *he upbringing of these images of di%inity is to be in a "ommitted' "aring' heterose.ual family setting! *he
"loning of humans is unnatural' sterile' pragmati" and outside of the intended purposes of ,od! ! *here is also a
theologi"al reason hy ,od did not "lone anyone after 1%e! )in dells in the flesh!<6omans >= )in passes from
generation to generation %ia our bodies! +hen I ma@ored in psy"hology at Lni%ersity I as taught that "riminality
has a pro%en family history beyond the influen"e of en%ironment! *ime is the great healer of the orst of these
traits hi"h seem to run through three or at most four generations before petering out! *his is "onfirmed by
)"ripture hi"h sees gross sins and their "onse&uent @udgment passing to the 3third and fourth
generation3<1.odus 8BA6'>= but no further! *he mer"y of time is not a%ailable to "lones! Cloning passes these
negati%e traits on un"hanged and undiminished by time! ,od does not 3"lone people3 be"ause :e is mer"iful to
families and does not ant to see the perpetuation of their ini&uity! Lnfortunately e%il but poerful people ould
be among the most li#ely to "lone themsel%es and their refined ambition and trea"hery ould be undiminished'
un"hanged and finely perfe"ted through the "enturies!
2echnology is never evil its the people *ho isuse it....
*his is a good sounding argument that in reality is "ompletely %oid of meaning! *e"hnology does not e.ist 3by
itself(! *e"hnology automati"ally goes ith people' hammers ith "arpenters' guns ith soldiers! And these
people are primarily moti%ated by self-interest and greed! +e do not li%e in a logi"al or altruisti" orld! +e li%e in
a "ommer"ial and politi"al orld here the main dri%ing for"es are money ' se.' and poer ! *hese elemental
for"es ine%itably in out often turning the te"hnology into a "omi"al "ari"ature of hat it originally intended to be!
Cranio-fa"ial <plasti"= surgery started out as a onderful ay to help burns %i"tims and those ith birth defe"ts!
;o it is primarily used to enhan"e the se. appeal of the dissatisfied! Cain people ith money ha%e hi@a"#ed a
onderful te"hnology! ! As nobly as "loning human beings may begin it is money' se. and poer that ill
ultimately "ontrol the long-term future of the te"hnology! ;u"lear poer has been "ompletely sub@ugated to
"ommer"ial and military interests ith to#en appli"ations to publi" health! *he 3,reen 6e%olution( is turning into a
nightmare! *he dash for "ash for genes may yet "reate massi%e <and massi%ely profitable for a fe= orld-ide
hunger! *hese grand failures of good but poerful te"hnologies should arn us that it ill most li#ely happen
again! *he "loning of humans' if alloed' ill be misused' "ommer"ialised and "orrupted!
)ou have no right to put a cap on huan progress... its too early for ethics...let 7cience be free.
*his assumes a %ery rosy and optimisti" %ie of human progress! *his optimisti" %ie held say in the :umanist
mo%ement that dominated +estern thought from the mid to late 1?00(s until the end of +orld +ar 2! :oe%er
:umanism is no a spent philosophi"al for"e! *o +orld +ars and "ountless atro"ities displayed on tele%ision
ha%e muted the optimism of earlier years! *he sheer responsibility for hat e ha%e done to the en%ironment
and to oursel%es has for"ed a rethin# that I see as beginning ith :iroshima and the reported "omment of the
pilot of 31nola ,ay3 3My ,od' hat ha%e e doneD3! *hat &uestion is still e"hoing in the halls of s"ien"e '
go%ernment and industry! +hile no-one has found a ay to stop progress there is a general "onsensus that it
needs to be sub@e"ted to ethi"al "onstraint! ;umerous s"ientifi"' go%ernment and industry bodies ha%e been set
up to e.amine ethi"al issues asso"iated ith te"hnology! *hey nearly all say that ethi"al issues should be
addressed right at the start of the de%elopment of any te"hnology espe"ially those te"hnologies that ha%e the
poer to fundamentally "hange us as a ra"e or e.tinguish us fore%er! +hen the progress of a te"hnology su"h
as the "loning of humans has these sort of planet-"hanging potentials there are greater things at sta#e than the
freedom of s"ien"e! +e need to "he"# hether e ant it before e endorse it! And e must do so #noing
oursel%es!
2he difference bet*een a clone and an identical t*in
A "lone ould be younger than the person' artifi"ial and deliberately "on"ei%ed! A "lone does not "ome into a
family setting as a result of lo%e but into a so"ial setting as an e.pedient ay of pro%iding organ transplants or
eternal youth! Identi"al tins ha%e separate personalities and de%elop their on "losely intero%en identities'
marry and raise separate families and pursue life as true indi%iduals! :oe%er in reality "lones ill e.ist to satisfy
someone else! *hey ill probably be repli"as of someone raised for a role! Clones ill be deliberately the same
physi"ally as the 3master "opy3 and the onderful sense of serendipity that "omes ith identi"al tins is' of
"ourse' lost! Clones ill probably be sla%es -ho ould "lone themsel%es ith the %ie to the "lone leading an
independent e.isten"eD *he "lone may ne%er be e.pe"ted to raise families' li%e a normal life or de%elop a
separate and "omplete identity from their 3parent3! In these ays and many others identi"al tins and "lones
ould be different!
7hall *e be li,e 1od6
<,enesis 8A1-> ;H0C= ;o the serpent as more "unning than any beast of the field hi"h the 7265 ,od had
made! And he said to the oman' 3:as ,od indeed said' (4ou shall not eat of e%ery tree of the garden(D3 F2G And
the oman said to the serpent' 3+e may eat the fruit of the trees of the gardenK F8G 3but of the fruit of the tree
hi"h is in the midst of the garden' ,od has said' (4ou shall not eat it' nor shall you tou"h it' lest you die!(3 FBG
*hen the serpent said to the oman' 34ou ill not surely die! F$G 3Jor ,od #nos that in the day you eat of it
your eyes ill be opened' and you ill be li#e ,od' #noing good and e%il!3 F6G )o hen the oman sa that the
tree as good for food' that it as pleasant to the eyes' and a tree desirable to ma#e one ise' she too# of its
fruit and ate! )he also ga%e to her husband ith her'and he ate! F>G *hen the eyes of both of them ere opened'
and they #ne that they ere na#edK and they seed fig lea%es together and made themsel%es "o%erings!
*here is an ob%ious analogy beteen eating the 3fruit of the tree of the #noledge of good and e%il!!3 and eating
the fruit of geneti" engineering! It seems that e shall 3be li#e ,od3 on the day e head in this dire"tion! It
appears that it ill 3ma#e us ise3 and be good for us! But this is an illusion born of strong temptation! In fa"t it
ill lea%e us na#ed and desolate and under the @udgment of ,od! +e are being tempted to defy ,od more and
more! *his "an only result in our destru"tion! *he path to being li#e ,od is not te"hnologi"al progress but
personal holiness! <6omans ?A2?-29 ;H0C= And e #no that all things or# together for good to those ho
lo%e ,od' to those ho are the "alled a""ording to :is purpose! F29G Jor hom :e fore#ne' :e also
predestined to be "onformed to the image of :is )on' that :e might be the firstborn among many brethren! <1
0ohn 8A2 ;H0C= Belo%ed' no e are "hildren of ,odK and it has not yet been re%ealed hat e shall be' but e
#no that hen :e is re%ealed' e shall be li#e :im' for e shall see :im as :e is!
+ 7ic,ening 7ociety
+hen a parti"ular e%il has an e"onomi" basis it "an remain entren"hed for "enturies e!g! sla%e-trading' usury'
drugs' gambling and prostitution! Cloning has the potential to go rong and stay rong for a long time! *he
pri%ate "loning of the poerful to perpetuate their dynasties! *he go%ernment and military "loning of 3perfe"t
soldiers3! *he fashion industry paying big money for a stable of perfe"t ' geneti"ally sound models! *he
pornography industry paying a fortune to "lone bodies for its 3high "lass3 films! )ome se"tions of the
pharma"euti"al industry "ould se"retly "lone people for drug testing! Jootball and baseball teams might "lone
top players and on the geneti" rights to their stars! *he possible permutations that self-interest' se"re"y and big
money "ould bring to human "loning are too frightening to mention! If it starts e ill be fore%er diminished! +e
ill be a si"#ening so"iety!
Babel =evisited
<,enesis 11A1-9 ;IC= ;o the hole orld had one language and a "ommon spee"h! F2G As men mo%ed
eastard' they found a plain in )hinar and settled there! F8G *hey said to ea"h other' 3Come' let(s ma#e bri"#s
and ba#e them thoroughly!3 *hey used bri"# instead of stone' and tar for mortar! FBG *hen they said' 3Come' let
us build oursel%es a "ity' ith a toer that rea"hes to the hea%ens' so that e may ma#e a name for oursel%es
and not be s"attered o%er the fa"e of the hole earth!3 F$G But the 7265 "ame don to see the "ity and the
toer that the men ere building! F6G *he 7265 said' 3If as one people spea#ing the same language they ha%e
begun to do this' then nothing they plan to do ill be impossible for them! F>G Come' let us go don and "onfuse
their language so they ill not understand ea"h other!3 F?G )o the 7265 s"attered them from there o%er all the
earth' and they stopped building the "ity! F9G *hat is hy it as "alled Babel --be"ause there the 7265 "onfused
the language of the hole orld! Jrom there the 7265 s"attered them o%er the fa"e of the hole earth!
Babel as the first so"iety ide te"hnologi"al rebellion against ,od! It as the dis"o%ery of building te"hnology
that spar#ed the rebellion! *hey used the latest <though inferior= building te"hnology as they substituted bri"#s
for stone in their effort to supplant nature and build a toer that ould rea"h to hea%en! It as a primiti%e affair
"ompared to geneti" engineering but "ontains the same essential ingredients! *here as a desire for self-
e.altation <so that e may ma#e a name for oursel%es=' a ish to trans"end the limits of the human "ondition <a
toer that rea"hes the hea%ens= ' a use of artifi"ial materials <they used bri"# instead of stone and tar for
mortar=' and a per"ei%ed so"ial benefit <not being s"attered o%er the fa"e of the hole earth=! *he per"ei%ed
so"ial benefit as in fa"t "ontrary to the ill of ,od <,enesis 9A1 ;IC= 3 *hen ,od blessed ;oah and his sons'
saying to them' 3Be fruitful and in"rease in number and fill the earth!3 ,od "onsidered this first feeble
te"hnologi"al rebellion to be a suffi"ient threat to godliness for :im to a"t to disperse the people! *heir single-
minded' so"iety-ide self-e.altation and rebellion did not bode ell! ,od(s "omment that 3nothing they plan to do
ill be impossible to them!!3 is not a "omplimentI It is a arning that if left to itself the human ra"e ould ha%e
gone from arrogant to unthin#able in its pursuit of e%il! Cloning has all the abo%e hallmar#s of a so"iety-ide
te"hnologi"al rebellion against ,od similar to the toer of Babel! ,od(s "omment that 3nothing they plan to do
ill be impossible to them!!3 seems on the %erge of fulfillment as e toy ith our geneti" future! *his leads us to
the ob%ious &uestion - ill ,od step in <as he did at Babel= to pre%ent the fulfillment of human "loningD
Will 1od intervene6
If ,od inter%enes it ill probably be through :is "hur"h and the inter"ession of :is saints! Belie%ing prayer has
the poer to pre%ent the "loning of human beings! *his may seem a trite anser! After all ,od has not
inter%ened to stop abortion 'geno"ide' rape and murder! :e has not stopped the produ"tion of atomi" or
biologi"al eapons! :e has not stopped e"onomi" in@usti"e' unfair trade and ruthless e.ploitation of the poor!
:uman "loning ill probably go ahead! Lnless!!!! *here is only one for"e that "an stop an e"onomi"ally and
politi"ally poerful te"hnology being implemented and that is ,od(s people! *he "hur"h is might hen it a"ts
a""ording to :is ill in pre%ailing prayer and propheti" a"tion based on the ord of ,od! )ome e%ils su"h as
sla%ery' "hild-labour and the rampant al"oholism of 19th "entury 1ngland ha%e been stopped by ,od(s people
or#ing and praying appropriately! )ome su"h as abortion ha%e been pegged ba"# or restri"ted in many
"ountries! ,round "an be on for good pro%iding e do not sit helplessly by a""epting it all as a part of the
de"ay of so"iety as the orld "omes to an inglorious end! ;o matter here e are in ,od(s "alendar e must be
righteous and righteous people ha%e alays boldly resisted e%il! :uman "loning is e%il! 4ou and I - the edu"ated'
informed "omputer literate belie%ers "an bring moral pressure to bear through our ords and spiritual pressure
to bear through our prayers! Elease a"t no!
hen 3oes
Li!e Begin6
By 3r Peter Kraus W
(>ditor"s note& 5r. $eter Craus is a Christian
gynaecologist J obstetrician *ho has been in practice for
any years. I as,ed hi to tac,le the ancient and very
difficult topic of (ensoulent( i.e. (When does the soul
enter the baby in the *ob6( .)
When does an individual becoe an individual! a person!
in their o*n right6 When do they start a life of their o*n6
When does the spirit enter the flesh6
*hese pu99ling &uestions are important! 2n the anser rests
the rightness or rongness of' for e.ample' abortion! Cery fe
people ould be happy to literally #ill a "hild' unborn or
otherise' but many people ith a highly de%eloped sense of morality agree ith abortion' at least early
abortion' on the grounds that the baby at that point is a -potential/ life only!
At hat point does the -potential/ life be"ome a real lifeD If it is hen the unborn baby' <foetus'= rea"hes
-%iability'/ that is' hen it "an li%e on its on outside the mother' then the spiritUs entry into the body must be
programmed by :ea%en to be at different times through the ages' as medi"al s"ien"e is able to sa%e babies no
hen they are born more prematurely than as possible e%en a fe years ago! If -%iability/ ould be the time of
entry of the spirit into the body' then todayUs baby is getting his or her spirit earlier than yesteryearsI
)ome may feel the spirit enters the body hen the body is fully formed! But hen is the body fully formedD *he
baby is a -fully formed/ baby' ith little arms' legs' head' et"! all there by about -12 ee#s/ gestation' a"tually
that is 10 ee#s after "on"eption! But %iruses hi"h damage the unborn' su"h as the rubella %irus' ill affe"t that
part hi"h is being formed at the time the %irus is in the body' and the rubella %irus "an be a problem up to 16
ee#s! )o is 16 ee#s the point of full formationD If this ere so then the baby ould be %iable at 16 ee#s' but
e #no this is far too premature to li%e outside the mother! Although the ar"hite"ture of the body may be there
the systems are far too immature to "ope on their on! 7i#e et paint! *he "olour is there and it loo#s good' but
itUs not ready to be tou"hed yet!
Many feel that the spirit enters the body at "on"eption! *he diffi"ulty ith this is that at the moment of "on"eption
there really is no body as su"h! *o "ells' the egg and the sperm' ea"h ith half the final total of "hromosomes
only' @oin to be"ome one "ell' ith ea"h "hromosome double' so e all inherit "hara"teristi"s from both our
parents in a uni&ue mi.! I ne%er "ease to onder at this mira"le! *he more you loo# at the body the more
"omple. you realise it is! 4et this tiny mi"ros"opi" "ell has en"oded all the information to build this in"redibly
"omple. li%ing ma"hine' and the means to build it! ;o onder many feel that this tiny ne "ell must ha%e a spirit!
But this "ell' onderful though it is' is not the baby! 4ou might e&ually "all it the pla"enta' the umbili"al "ord' the
membranes surrounding the baby' or e%en the yol# sa" that is rapidly absorbed in mammals! All these stru"tures
de%elop from this little single "ell as it di%ides into 2' the 2 into B' the B into ? and so on' this little ball of "ells then
-differentiating/ into these %arious stru"tures' only one of hi"h is the de%eloping embryo! Mis"arriages o""ur
hen this pro"ess does not go right! *he problem "ausing the mis"arriage may e%en be that hen all this
happens' e%erything de%elops e."ept the baby' a so-"alled -blighted o%um!/ If the spirit enters at the time of
"on"eption' do these -blighted o%ums/ as they are "alled' ha%e a spiritD
*hen there are those ho belie%e the spirit enters the body at birth! *o anser this letUs get a omanUs %ie! *he
folloing is ta#en from notes made by my ife :eather for a tal# at a omenUs "onferen"e' on abortion' !
Eeople say a lot of "on"eptions do not de%elop into a full pregnan"y! My anser is' there are births here the
babies ha%e deformities or handi"aps! 0esus had "ompassion and healed many people deformed from birth!
*hey are still people and :e lo%es them!
+e also ha%e that %ery beautiful e."hange hen to pregnant omen meet! 1li9abeth the mother of 0ohn the
Baptist meets Mary the mother of 0esus!
7u#e 1A 89-B$! Mary is going to meet 1li9abeth! -)he entered the house of Qe"hariah and greeted 1li9abeth! It
happened that hen 1li9abeth heard the greeting of Mary that the babe leapt in her omb and 1li9abeth as
filled ith the :oly )pirit/! It goes on to say that 1li9abeth then being filled ith the :oly )pirit prophesied o%er
Mary and said! -Blessed are you among omen and blessed is the fruit of your omb' but hy is this granted to
me that the mother of my 7ord should "ome to me for indeed as soon as the %oi"e of your greeting sounded in
my ears the babe leapt in my omb for @oy! Blessed is she ho belie%eth for there ill be a fulfilment of those
things hi"h ere told her from the 7ord!/
!!! +e are told that Mary remained ith 1li9abeth until she as about 8 months and then she returned to her
house
!!! Both babies in their mothersU omb ere spiritually aare! 2ne soon after "on"eption the other at 6 months
gestation!
!!!*he spirit of 0ohn the Baptist' in his motherUs omb' re"ognised the )pirit of 0esus' freshly "on"ei%ed in :is
motherUs omb! All pregnant mothers #no hen their babies get e."ited and start #i"#ing! *his hole a""ount
is a "lear demonstration of the spirit being ithin the foetus from the time of "on"eption!/
)o' li#e many others' :eather belie%es the spirit enters the body at "on"eption! +ith my s"ientifi" training my
only reser%ation relates to those "on"eptions here a baby is ne%er properly formed! :eather is a ,od fearing
)pirit filled Christian oman! I ha%e a lot of respe"t both for her feminine intuition and for her spiritual aareness!
As a gynae"ologist I deal fre&uently ith omen at the time of a mis"arriage' or as# about their pre%ious
pregnan"ies in my routine &uestioning! +hile many omen a""ept a mis"arriage as @ust one of those things'
&uite a fe refer to a mis"arriage as a baby they lost! I ha%e to "he"# hether they are tal#ing about a
mis"arriage or a stillbirth! *his has nothing to do ith their spiritual aareness or beliefs! Maybe it has a lot to do
ith their feminine intuition and maternal instin"t!
In 0eremiah "h1 %$ e read that the 7ord said to 0eremiah' -Before I formed you in the omb I #ne youK Before
you ere born I san"tified you!/
And again' in Esalm 189 % 16' 5a%id rites' -4our eyes sa my substan"e' being yet unformed! And in 4our
boo# they all ere ritten' the days fashioned for me' hen as yet there ere none of them!/
I belie%e that this is all e.plained by the fa"t that the spiritual orld is eternal' hile this physi"al orld e li%e in
until e go to be ith the 7ord' is temporal! +e li%e in the dimension of time!
1ternity is not @ust e%erlasting time! It is a dimension outside time! +e "annot at present understand this any
more than a person totally blind from birth "ould understand hat you ere tal#ing about if you tried to e.plain
shades of "olour to them! 0ust be"ause this is beyond our "omprehension doesnUt mean it is either impossible or
uns"ientifi"! As I understand it' those s"ientists ho belie%e in the -big bang/ theory of the beginning of the
uni%erse' in"luding some ro"# solid Christians' seem to belie%e that time also began at the -big bang'/ and that
at least nine dimensions ere "ompressed into our 8 1O2! <*ime is a"tually only half a dimension! Lnli#e the 8
dimensions of spa"e' e "an tra%el in time in only one dire"tion!=
)o e ha%e s"ientists' in"luding atheists and agnosti"s as ell as Christians' belie%ing in dimensions outside our
on! +hile this is a diffi"ult "on"ept to grasp it is no more diffi"ult than a deaf person a""epting that his
"ompanion by his side' responding to a sound' has e.perien"ed something he' the deaf person' "annot
"omprehend!
+hen e as# a &uestion su"h as' -hen does the spirit enter the bodyD/ e are tou"hing on the interfa"e
beteen time and eternity' beteen things e "an understand and things e #no about but "annot
"omprehend
I belie%e the medie%al unanserable &uestion as' -:o many angels "an dan"e on the point of a pinD/ Eonder
these things by all means' but donUt get distra"ted from the tas# at hand! *he tas# at handD 6emember' -,o ye
into all the orld!!!/ Also Ero%erbs 2B' %11 -5eli%er those ho are dran toard death And hold ba"# those
stumbling to the slaughter!/
+e are li%ing in the end times and the spiritual ar is hotting up! +e should be stripped for battle and
"on"entrating on the fight to sa%e all ,odUs ele"t before the final "urtain "omes don at Armageddon' possibly in
our lifetimes! It is important that e ha%e ansers or dire"tions for lifeUs imponderables' but e "an sit in the
2ffi"ersU Mess and debate these things o%er a "ool drin# after the battle!
5r Eeter A Hraus
+ns*ers +s 2o Why +bortion
Is Nearly +l*ays Wrong '
<at leftA fetus at 1B ee#s su"#ing thumb=
1. Isn"t a Woan +llo*ed 2o 5o What 7he 3i,es With <er
A*n Body6
Jirstly its not her body - it(s someone else(s bodyI +hen that
oman as inside her on mother she as a separate person
from her mother! Cery dependent but separate! *here are to
separate brains' hearts' blood systems' immune systems et"!
Mother and "hild are separate people! *he mother is female
hile the "hild may be male! *he "hild(s body is inside the
mother(s body @ust as a person is inside a room or a person is
on a life-support system! A oman has "onsiderable freedom
as to hat she "an do ith her on body but she "annot
destroy someone else(s body' ta#e someone else(s life or
terminate someone else(s destiny! And the "hild in her omb
is not her - it is someone else!
)e"ondly e ha%e all sorts of las about hat e "an do ith
our bodies! +e are not alloed to ta#e "ertain drugs' ha%e se. under age and many other things! *o
stret"h a point most las seem to relate to hat e do ith our bodies in some ay! +e are not alloed to
"ommit sui"ide so hy should e be alloed to #ill a "hild!
#. But +ren"t We Dust =eoving + ($iece Af Fn*anted 2issue(6
)in"e the use of ultrasound this argument has fallen on hard times! *he foetus is a hole human being
though tiny! Its not a bit of a human body' its a hole human body ith a head' arms' legs' heart' lungs et"!
*he e.pression 3 a pie"e of unanted tissue3 implies that it is a 3pie"e3 that is a fragment li#e a "an"er "ell
or an ingron toenail! :oe%er the "hild in utero is not a 3pie"e( it is a hole - a hole human being!
Abortion is not 3@ust remo%ing unanted tissue3 it ta#ing a hole human life and destiny!
3. +n Fn*anted Child <as + 2errible 0uture +nd Is Better Aff 5ead.
*his argument suffers from se%eral huge flasA
1! It reasons from the parti"ular to the general! )ome unanted "hildren may
ha%e terrible li%es but some don(t!
2! Lnanted "hildren "an be"ome anted! Many people are longing to adopt
a "hild!
8! 1%en if they do ha%e a poor "hildhood they ha%e 60 or so more years to get
o%er it and people do re"o%er!
B! As bad as the future may be for the "hild it is better than being ha"#ed to
pie"es by a 5NC operation!
-. What +bout Cases Af =ape or 1ross 1enetic +bnorality6
2nly a tiny minority of abortions are performed for these reasons! Abortion in su"h "ases is understandable
and regrettable! Abortion to sa%e the mother(s life may be re&uired in some "ases! In su"h "ases there
should be a sense of sorro that the abortion has had to be performed and it should not be ta#en lightly!
Christians may "hoose to "arry su"h "hildren to term as a result of their faith in ,od hoe%er people ho
do not share our faith may ta#e a different option ithout e."essi%e guilt!
As a "ounsellor the main reasons I ha%e "ome a"ross for abortions are family pressure and spite - ta#ing
re%enge against a husband or lo%er! *hen e"onomi" and "areer "onsiderations for the oman "ome into
play! ;one of these reasons are good enough reasons for ta#ing the life of a perfe"tly healthy and %iable
"hild that someone "ould lo%e!
/. <o* 5are )ou Ipose )our Christian Gorals An 7ociety8
7a is en"oded morality and that morality "omes from the philosophy a""epted by the so"iety as %arious
"ompeting philosophies %ie for "ontrol of the so"ial matri.! 2f all the a%ailable moralities the Christian "ode
of ethi"s has stood up ell o%er time and produ"ed groups that fun"tion ell! It is not so mu"h imposing
morals on so"iety as persuading so"iety to adopt the best possible ethi"al model that is a%ailable!
'. 7o I 7uppose )ou +dvocate 7hooting +bortion Clinic 5octors6
Vuite the "ontrary! *o rongs do not ma#e a right! Murder is murder and murder is rong! I ha%e prayed
for and reasoned ith abortion "lini" do"tors and been told that I am 3the most reasonable Christian3 that
they ha%e met! :oe%er I am staun"hly opposed to abortion on demand! Also in logi" a mista#e in one
area does not in%alidate an argument in another area! A mista#e in Maths does not mean you are hopeless
at 1nglish! *o sinfully support #illing do"tors does not ne"essarily mean that the arguments against
abortion are in"orre"t! *he arguments against abortion are ro"# solid and e%en the a"tions of the most
bi9arre protester "annot turn bla"# into hite or the re%erse!
7ection - L $robles Within Garriage
2his section covers the follo*ing issues&
Adultery 2f *he :eart
Married Eeople Must 7earn *o Jorgi%e
Infertility
dultery
Af 2he <eart +
(Gat /&#4B3# NCDV) DEou have heard that it was said to those of old, HEou
shall not commit adultery.H {2&} D'ut I say to you that whoever looks at a
woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
{2)} DIf your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you(
for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for
your whole body to be cast into hell. {3,} D/nd if your right hand causes
you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you( for it is more profitable for you that
one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
{3+} D*urthermore it has been said, H-hoever divorces his wife, let him
give her a certificate of divorce.H {32} D'ut I say to you that whoever
divorces his wife for any reason eFcept seFual immorality causes her to
commit adultery( and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits
adultery.
2he Bac,ground 7cenario
Lnder the 7a a "unning legalist "ould steal someone(s ife and marry her ithout a"tually "ommitting adultery!
4ou @ust ooed her' redu"ed her affe"tions for her husband until her husband got fed up and di%or"ed her and
then you "ould marry her! 0esus "alled this adultery of the heart. *here seem to be a number of stages
in%ol%ed!
Cerse 2> - the in@un"tion "on"erning adultery!
Cerse 2? - the attra"tion of a man to a married oman
Cerses 29'80 - the "ommand to se%er the inappropriate relationship!
Cerse 81 - the la. di%or"e "ustoms of the day!
Cerse 82 - the di%or"e hi"h dri%es the oman into her lo%er(s arms so that she be"omes an adulteress!
Cerse 82 - the inappropriate remarriage!
0esus may ha%e had an in"ident li#e the folloing in :is mind hen :e spo#e! In %erse 29 a man sees the
oman and lusts after her' she is a married oman <gunai#a= not a %irgin <parthenos= he thus "ommits adultery
ith her in his heart! In %erses 29N 80 :e is told to se%er this relationship e%en though it seems li#e it is 3"utting
himself in pie"es3! *he man is arned that it is better to se%er an inappropriate relationship than ind up in :ell!
:oe%er he "ontinues the illi"it liaison! :e oos her ith the intention of getting her to lea%e her husband for
him! :e redu"es her affe"tions for her husband! )in"e omen generally did not di%or"e men in those days he
has to ait until the husband di%or"es her! In %erse 81 the husband noti"es the attra"tion and using the la.
di%or"e las of those days angrily di%or"es her -e%en though a"tual adultery had not yet o""urred! 0esus does
not see this di%or"e as legitimate be"ause she has not a"tually yet had se. ith the person ho is "ourting her!
It is also unise be"ause the di%or"e "auses the oman to run into her lo%ers arms and be"ome an adulteress!
*he to lo%ers &ui"#ly remarry and "onsummate their union but their "onsummation is in fa"t adultery! *he
"onte.t of both the 3di%or"e3 %erses and the 3lusting ith one(s heart3 %erses is fleshly enti"ement to go beyond
the boundaries of emotional faithfulness to one(s partner! +hat is being brea"hed in all three "ases - lust'
di%or"e and remarriage are the emotional bonds of the marriage!
2he =easoning
;o to e.plain some of my reasoning behind this "on"lusion!!!!
I belie%e that %erse 82 has been mistranslated in most <if not all= 1nglish translations! *he ,ree# is diffi"ult to
translate be"ause it ends the senten"e ith a parti"iple and to %erbs in a ro! *he "onstru"tion is e.tremely
unusual! Its a bit li#e saying 3*he dog @umping bites runs3 then stopping right thereI :ere is the ,ree# senten"e
!!3#ai os ea% apolelumenen gamese moi"hatai3 its literal translation is 3and hoe%er a being di%or"ed marries
"ommits adultery3 <"ommits adultery is one ord in ,ree#=! *his is ;2*:I;, li#e the "urrent 1nglish
translations! *he long translation is probably 3he ho ensures that a marriage brea#s don so that he "an marry
the oman as soon as she is di%or"ed "ommits adultery!3 ;o I ill e.plain ho I arri%e at that "on"lusion!
*he ord 3gamese3 for marriage is used for a man marrying! )o it is the man at fault here! *herefore the person
he is marrying is a oman <same se. marriages ere not re"ogni9ed in 0esus day=' it is the oman ho is
3being di%or"ed3! )o the prohibition is against serial monogamy -@umping out of one marriage into the ne.t!
;oti"e it is the man' not the oman ho "ommits adultery!!!but he is not the one @umping out of one marriage
into the ne.t - the oman is doing thatI )o ho is he at faultD :er husband "ould ha%e di%or"ed her for all sorts
of reasonsI :e "ould be dumping her in order to ta#e up ith a younger omanI )o ho is husband number 2
an adultererD +hat has he done rong if he is @ust lo%ing hat someone else has re@e"tedD :e "an only be an
adulterer if he has a"ted in some ay "ontrary to the original marriage bond!
:usband ;o!2 ants the oman but does not ant to ris# getting "aught in adultery! :e doesn(t ha%e an a"tual
se.ual affair but he oos her off her husband by redu"ing her 3marital affe"tions3 until the marriage bond snaps
and he ta#es her for his on! *hough not 3legally adultery3 it is adultery in e%ery other sense! It is adultery of the
heart! 0esus &uite rightly prohibits this! *his is "onsistent ith his prohibitions on 3serial monogamy3 - hopping
from partner to partner ith %ery little gap in beteen! *his fits in ith the "onte.t of lusting after a oman in your
heart!
Desus 2eaching An 5ivorce
*heses %erses help "omplete the pi"ture of 0esus tea"hing on di%or"e! 7ets summari9e it &ui"#lyA
1. You cannot divorce your partner except for sexual unfaithfulness. !atthew "#$1%$&% !atthew 1'#'(
&. You may not divorce your wife in order to marry a newer model. !atthew 1'#'(
$. )onversely if you were unfaithful and thus were *ic*ed out of the original marriage then remarriage to
your lover is +ust a continuation of the adultery. !atthew 1'#'(
,. -f you entice a woman off her husband then marry her it is adultery even if you waited until marriage
before you have sex with her. !atthew "#$&(
In my %ie 0esus( tea"hing on di%or"e says ;2*:I;, about people ho are di%or"ed then' sometime later -say
at least to to three years' meet someone and marry them! By that time the marriage is irretrie%ably finished and
the person has not left their marriage simply in order to ha%e a se.ual relationship ith someone else! *hey ha%e
not diminished the affe"tions of the original marriage bond by physi"al or emotional asso"iation ith another
person therefore they ha%e not "ommitted adultery! I see them as in the mu"h the same position as the 3young
idos3 that Eaul strongly ad%ises to marry again!<1 *im $A1B ;IC= )o I "ounsel younger idos to marry' to
ha%e "hildren' to manage their homes and to gi%e the enemy no opportunity for slander!
It is my obser%ation that di%or"ed but not remarried Christians o""asionally fall into se.ual sin and some lead
disgra"eful li%es' unable to marry be"ause of their "hur"hes tea"hing on one hand and yet unable to resist their
on sinful ea#ness on the other! It is indeed better to marry than to burn and I thin# some "hur"hes need to
reor# their tea"hing on di%or"e so that remarriage is permitted but after a suitable period of time <say 8 years=
so that people do not @ust hop from one partner to the ne.t! I suggest three years be"ause statisti"s indi"ate that
the failure rate of marriages "ontra"ted in the first to years after death or di%or"e is %ery high! It also ensures
that the se"ond marriage is not an adulterous liaison i!e! that they are not marrying the lo%er that bro#e up the
first marriage et"!
*he reason for the remarriage of idos <and if I am right - di%or"eses= has nothing to do ith them being
happy! Eaul(s language a"tually "arries a moderate degree of for"e 3I ill that they should marry3 or 3I desire that
they should marry3! It is not an imperati%e "ommand but rather a firm re&uest! *he "on"ern that younger idos
remarry is tofold 1! *hat they a%oid the shame and a""usation of se.ual sin! 2! *hat they a%oid the elfare
mentality and an idle lifestyle here they ent house to house gossiping! Eaul' 0eish tradition and the 2*
"on"ur in that produ"ti%ity from both men and omen as held as a high %irtue! Idleness and promis"uity gi%e
huge amounts of ground for the 5e%il to a""use ,od(s people - and none more so than today! *he 5e%il ill
ha%e far less grounds for a""usation if 3younger idos3 remarry' get off elfare' and li%e produ"ti%e li%es!
$astoral +pplication
Chur"hes need to be able to say to people 3*his is an inappropriate friendship e #no you ha%e not slept ith
ea"h other but you are too "lose' ba"# off' this is adultery of the heart!3 Many marriages ould be sa%ed if e
ga%e stern straight tea"hing on inappropriate relationships! If a friendship is redu"ing your affe"tions for your
partner or "oming into the emotional spa"e you normally reser%e for your partner then it is an inappropriate
friendship - e%en if it is ith your pastor' )unday )"hool tea"her or "ounselor! If you start to get a 39ing3 hen
you are near that person' or you loo# forard to meeting them more than you do your on spouse' or you ha%e
se.ual fantasies about them - then run! It is better to brea# off a rong relationship than to ind up in :ell!
)e"ondly "hur"hes should not san"tion those remarriages that ha%e resulted from affairs or from 3adultery of the
heart3 ! Chur"hes must prote"t the san"tity of marriage! 7et the )tate marry those people!
*hirdly "hur"hes should remarry' ith a "lear "ons"ien"e' people ho after a suitable period of time on their on
<and "haste hile single= ha%e found a partner!
*he first to re"ommendations may seem o%erly harsh hile the last may be "ontentious for some! I thin# I ha%e
the interpretation right - so that it ma#es moral' pastoral and e.egeti"al sense' but I lea%e it ith you for
"onsideration' ell aare that differen"es of opinion ill e.ist!
arried Peo#le
Must Learn to orgive M
,y Nor"an Bales
ClergyI3eaders" GailBlist No. 3#1
7oe *isdo fro Noran Bales on a very iportant subEect...
It is ipossible to reain arried for any length of
tie *ithout coitting soe ,ind of offense against
your spouse. It is also ipossible to aintain a
satisfactory level of civility in a arriage relationship
*ithout forgiving those offenses.
About ten years ago' Ann underent surgery to ha%e her
toes straightened! *he surgeon implanted steel pins in her
toes and they protruded about an in"h and a half! It ma#es
my toes hurt @ust to thin# about it! )he had to be %ery
"areful hen she al#ed around or else she ould learn a
ne meaning of the phrase 3stubbing your toe!3 5uring the
time the pins ere inserted' e too# a long automobile trip!
Ann sat in the ba"# seat and ele%ated her legs by
stret"hing them out o%er the front seat!
+hen e stopped to eat' a fresh sno had fallen' so she
preferred not to get out of the "ar! I stopped at a fast food restaurant and brought her food ba"# to the her! I(m
not %ery good at doing things deli"ately! Ann says I go about most tas#s in life as if I ere on the atta"#! I must
ha%e been in my atta"# mode that e%ening be"ause I brushed the pins sti"#ing out from her toes in my attempt
to set the food don on the front seat of the "ar! I(ll s#ip o%er the ne.t fe moments of "on%ersation' but to say
that she as offended ould grossly understate her rea"tion! I don(t thin# I ran#ed high on her list of fa%orite
people at that parti"ular moment!
2f "ourse' I said' 3I(m sorry'3 but an apology doesn(t stop the pain! An apology didn(t smooth o%er my
"arelessness! It didn(t @ustify my 3bull-in-the-"hina- "loset3 entry into the "ar! 2n the other hand' I "ouldn(t undo
my a"tion! *here as no ay to put that in"ident into reind! 4ou might as ell try to uns"ramble an egg!
)o ho to do married "ouples or# through su"h offensesD *he apostle Eaul shos us the ay! 3,et rid of all
bitterness' rage and anger' braling and slander' along ith e%ery form of mali"e! Be #ind and "ompassionate to
one another' @ust as in Christ' ,od forga%e you!3 <1phesians BA81-82=! *he offending party needs to understand
that it may ta#e a little time for an offended spouse to get rid of the anger! I rather suspe"t that Ann(s anger
lasted longer than the pain' but not mu"h longer! *he offended party must relin&uish the right to feel ronged!
Jrom that point on' e%erybody starts out ith a ne slate! If Ann had said' 35on(t e%er bring me another
hamburger in the "ar'3 our relationship ould ha%e been damaged! Instead she de"ided to put the offense in the
past' turn o%er a ne page and go on! *hat(s the only ay a satisfying marriage "an or#!
What Athers 7ay +bout 0orgiveness
Ben@amin Jran#linA 35oing an in@ury puts you belo your enemyK re%enging one ma#es you but e%en ith himK
forgi%ing one sets you abo%e him!3
3Jorgi%eness is an a"t of the ill not an a"t of emotionK ta#e "are of the ill and emotion ill follo!3 - a guest on
the >00 Club
5a%id AugsburgerA 3Jorgi%ing re&uires the gra"e to a""ept the other as an e&ual partner in the sear"h for
re"on"iliation!3
5i"# InnesA 3;ot to forgi%e is to be imprisoned by the past!3
Charles JloydA 32nly the stupid belie%e that their being unforgi%ing hurts the other fello!3
3Jorgi%eness is gi%ing up my right to hurt you for hurting me!3 - un#non author
Matt CondonA 3+al# around in a state of gra"e' in a fog of forgi%eness' ith your heart so laden ith mer"y that
you(re borne don by the eight and you ha%e no "hoi"e but to gi%e it aay!3
*erry 5! :argra%eA 3:ealing by forgi%eness' li#e any type of healing in therapy' is most often or# that is slo
and that is a""omplished o%er a period of time!3
Ehillip 4an"eyA 3Jorgi%eness is no seet' platoni" ideal to be dispensed to the orld li#e perfume sprayed from a
fragran"e bottle! It is a"hingly diffi"ult! 7ong after you ha%e forgi%en' the ound li%es on in memory! Abo%e all'
forgi%eness is an unnatural a"t!3
+illard *ateA 3A la"# of forgi%eness is the only thing that ill ultimately separate a husband and ife and destroy
a marriage!3
N7)TILIT.' +$/PL7S W%$
+AN4T %A07 +%IL3)7N I
by Chris 1ribble
1 Samuel 1 ./0(
&(1l*anah had two wives% 2annah and 3eninnah% 3eninnah had children% but
2annah did not 4(3eninnah% her 2annah5s( rival% would torment and humiliate
her% because the 6ord had *ept her childless. 7(8his went on year after year;
whenever they went to the house of the 6ord%3eninnah% would upset 2annah
so much that she would cry and refuse to eat anything. 1 9(She 2annah( was
deeply distressed and she cried bitterly as she prayed to the 6ord....
1 "b( - am desperate% and - have been praying pouring out my troubles to the
6ord. :on5t thin* that - am a worthless woman. - have been praying li*e this
because - am so miserableB
Jor most omen their period is a natural part of their monthly "y"le but for some it
mar#s a regular time of grief 1$P of "ouples in Australia are infertile! *hat is they
ha%e not been able to "on"ei%e for after 12 months in an unprote"ted se.ual
relationship! *his statisti" is on the in"rease! *he reasons hy it is in"reasing are still
un#non but it is a groing issue for many "ouples!
April and 1 ha%e been trying to ha%e "hildren for $ years' ith no su""ess! It has been one of the hardest things
e ha%e had to fa"e together in our marriage!
April says' 3*o be "hildless ma#es me feel less than a oman! 1%en though there are many "ouples that "hoose
not to ha%e "hildren today' it(s still their "hoi"e! *o ha%e that "hoi"e ta#en aay is painful! My monthly period is a
regular reminder that 1 am unable to "on"ei%e and 1 feel li#e it is my fault! 1%en though the 5o"tors say that the
problem is @ust hormonal and a laparos"opy found no problems nothing has seemed to or# for me!3
Jor oursel%es the medi"al profession has sometimes been less than understanding! *his as espe"ially the
"ase hen e first ere trying to dis"o%er hat as rong and a la"# of funds pre%ented us from getting pri%ate
"are!
3At first e ere under the publi" system' that as aful! *he do"tor as in"onsiderate of the emotional needs
of a person fa"ing infertility! :e ould ma#e inappropriate "omments and failed to see hat he said as rude'3
said April!
After one "onsultation ith him April left the hospital in tears! *o ma#e matters orse he failed to pres"ribe
enough of the hormone that she as la"#ing and for to years she didn(t o%ulate properly anyay!
April says this has "hanged sin"e she started seeing her "urrent do"tor! :e &ui"#ly re"ognised the error of the
pre%ious gynae"ologist and pres"ribed the "orre"t dosage! But' e%en though he said that she is o%ulating
regularly and nothing "an be found medi"ally rong she has still failed to "on"ei%e!
Another problem for infertile "ouples is se. "an be"ome a tedious "hore re%ol%ing around temperature rises and
monthly "harts! 3A "ouple of times e ha%e de"ided to gi%e it a brea#! ;ot from se.' @ust the "onstant at"hing
for my temperature to rise and then (doing it!3(
Jamilies "an inad%ertently put enormous pressures on infertile "ouples! 3*here is nothing that my mother ants
more than to ha%e grand"hildren! 1%en though she is %ery supporti%e it is diffi"ult to fa"e that 1 "an(t gi%e her
that pleasure! Chris(s sister has three #ids and his mother is de%oted to them! 1 sometimes thin# that if e had
"hildren then e ould be "loser to her'3 said April!
In spite of the huge ad%an"es that s"ien"e has made there is still a per"entage of people ho ill be unable to
"on"ei%e! Esy"hologists say this loss is li#e a"tually losing a "hild!
3Eeople ha%e said to us that e are lu"#y not to ha%e the hassle of ha%ing "hildren! *hey say e get to do
hate%er e ant to do! 1 onder ho they ould feel if they had to go through the pain of losing one of their
on "hildrenD 1 am sure if they loo#ed at it from our perspe"ti%e they might ha%e a different understanding of our
situation!3
Jrom a Christian perspe"ti%e it "an often feel that ,od has left us out in the "old! 3I often ill blame myself and it
is diffi"ult to not to thin# that ,od must see me as unorthy to ha%e "hildren'3 says April!
2n"e some friends too# us along to a healing meeting be"ause they felt sure the spea#er had prophesied about
us and our problem of infertility! +e sat through most of the meeting aiting for some type of sign that it as us!
At the %ery end he had a general type "all for people to "ome up for prayer! +e ent forard and ere prayed
o%er! At the time he said a mira"le had ta#en pla"e but still nothing has happened!
It is diffi"ult in this situation not to as# &uestions! 5oes this mean our faith is la"#ingD Eerhaps e ere @ust the
rong peopleD 5oes ,od ant to punish usD
+e ha%e loo#ed at the option of o%erseas adoption but it "an be &uite e.pensi%e! ;o e ha%e to ait for 12
months before e "an loo# at options li#e ICJ be"ause e ha%e @ust @oined a medi"al fund and they ha%e a 12
month aiting period!
April says that the hardest thing has been to fa"e her infertility mostly by herself!
3Many people try to help us! )ome ant to tell us su""ess stories about ho they aited for so many years and
then they finally "on"ei%ed! Most of them really mean ell! +hat 1 ha%e to fa"e is the reality that there may be
no happy patter of little feet for us!3
3It seems li#e e%eryone around me o%er the past $ years is "onstantly ha%ing babies! Most of my friends ha%e
families no and "on%ersations "an "entre on hat their #ids are doing! In these situations there is nothing mu"h
1 "an "ontribute to the "on%ersation! 1 ha%e to sit silently and listen!3
Ja"ing a future of "hildlessness is something "onfronting more and more "ouples! It appears to be one of the
ha9ards of li%ing in the 20th "entury! Medi"al resear"h shos that sperm "ounts are don and sperm are mu"h
less a"ti%e than they used to be! A re"ent report in the )unday Mail arned of the threat to.i" substan"es ere
to the human ra"e(s ability to reprodu"e! :ormones used to stimulate food produ"tion may be "onfusing the
brain(s data hi"h "ontrols se. and reprodu"tion!
April(s ad%i"e to infertile "ouples is to remain optimisti"! 3It is important to #eep a positi%e attitude! 7ife offers so
many things to people! *here is life ithout "hildren! Chris and 1 en@oy many things together! At least e sa%e
money on "ontra"eption and he ill ne%er ha%e to fa"e the prospe"t of a %ase"tomy!3
+here is ,od hile e are going through all of thisD C! )!7eis said on"e that ,od(s megaphone is through our
pain! )ometimes 1 ha%e anted to get angry at ,od! It is not easy to admit that some things in my life lie beyond
my "ontrol! 1%en ith all the onders of modem medi"ine ICJ has a high "han"e of failure and it(s program is no
guarantee that e ill "on"ei%e! Lltimately e ha%e to learn to trust that ,od #nos hat is best for us and
through this e.perien"e e both ill understand :is %oi"e more "learly!
1%en though :annah as blessed ith a "hild she had to fa"e the reality that ultimately it as ,od(s "hild
anyay! *here "ame a time hen she had to gi%e her son ba"# to ,od! *his is something that all parents ha%e
to fa"e! *he %ery thing that is "losest to being our on ultimately belongs to our Creator and it is :is to gi%e or
ta#e aay!
7ection / B Controversial Issues
2his section covers the follo*ing issues&
:omose.uality
)ame-)e. Marriages
Eornography W +hy Christians )hould *a#e A )tand
)e. In Ad%ertising
$)KING $/T W%AT T%7 S+)IPT/)7S
SA. $N5 %$M$S78/ALIT. W
A perspective statement :- The Bible calls us to see
ourselves in these lights:
1) In the light of God's holiness in which "there is none
righteous no not one".(Roans !:1")
#) In the light of God's erc$ % "for God has bound over all
en to disobedience that &e ight have erc$ on the
all." (Roans 11:!#) !)
!) In the light of &is salvation % "and that is what soe of
$ou were. But $ou were washed' $ou were sanctified' $ou
were (ustified in the nae of our )ord *esus +hrist and b$
the ,-irit of our God." (1 +or .:11).
The hoose/ual is a sinner' on who God wishes to bestow erc$' and to bring to the -oint of salvation and the
-rocess of sanctification.
*here has been a lot of "ontro%ersy o%er the sin of homose.uality ith a large lobby pressuring Christians not to
"all homose.uality a sin but to see it as a 3%alid alternati%e lifestyle3! In rea"tion to this' and I must say generally
in 3o%er-rea"tion3 to it there has been a s"athing and hostile denun"iation of homose.uality by "ertain Christian
leaders! In order to help you thin# through this issue I ha%e "olle"ted all the )"ripture referen"es I "ould find and
gi%en a brief "omment on their meaning and summari9ed it toard the end! I ha%e not tou"hed on the spe"ifi"s
of pastoral appli"ation! *his arti"le is long enough and the pastoral approa"h should be basi"ally the same as
that for any life-dominating sin!
<oose?ual 3usts
<6omans 1A26-2? ;H0C=26G Jor this reason ,od ga%e them up to %ile passions! Jor e%en their omen
e."hanged the natural use for hat is against nature! F2>G 7i#eise also the men' lea%ing the natural use of the
oman' burned in their lust for one another' men ith men "ommitting hat is shameful' and re"ei%ing in
themsel%es the penalty of their error hi"h as due! F2?G And e%en as they did not li#e to retain ,od in their
#noledge' ,od ga%e them o%er to a debased mind' to do those things hi"h are not fittingK
;oteA :omose.ual lusts' both female and male are "alled 3%ile passions3 3against nature3 and 3not fitting3!
<oose?ual +cts
<1 Corinthians 6A9-11 ;H0C= 5o you not #no that the unrighteous ill not inherit the #ingdom of ,odD 5o not be
de"ei%ed! ;either forni"ators' nor idolaters' nor adulterers' nor homose.uals' nor sodomites' F10G nor thie%es'
nor "o%etous' nor drun#ards' nor re%ilers' nor e.tortioners ill inherit the #ingdom of ,od! F11G And su"h ere
some of you! But you ere ashed' but you ere san"tified' but you ere @ustified in the name of the 7ord 0esus
and by the )pirit of our ,od!
<7e%iti"us 1?A22 ;H0C= (4ou shall not lie ith a male as ith a oman! It is an abomination!
<7e%iti"us 20A18 ;H0C= (If a man lies ith a male as he lies ith a oman' both of them ha%e "ommitted an
abomination! *hey shall surely be put to death! *heir blood shall be upon them!
<1 *imothy 1A9-11 ;6)C= *his means understanding that the la is laid don not for the inno"ent but for the
laless and disobedient' for the godless and sinful' for the unholy and profane' for those ho #ill their father or
mother' for murderers' F10G forni"ators' sodomites' sla%e traders' liars' per@urers' and hate%er else is "ontrary
to the sound tea"hing F11G that "onforms to the glorious gospel of the blessed ,od' hi"h he entrusted to me!
;oteA *he "on"ept here is that of homose.ual genital inter"ourse! *he 2!* defines this as 3you shall not lie ith
a male as ith a oman3 "alls it an abomination and pres"ribes the death penalty ! In the ;* homose.uality is
listed among the ma@or a"ts of la-brea#ing and those ho "ommitt homose.ual a"ts "annot inherit the #ingdom
of ,od! :oe%er hope is held out in that the repentant homose.ual "an be 3ashed' san"tified and @ustified3 -
free of "ondemnation @ust li#e any other belie%ing "hur"h member! <1 Cor 6A11=
Gale <oose?ual $rostitution
<5euteronomy 28A1>'1? ;IC= ;one of the daughters of Israel shall be a temple prostituteK none of the sons of
Israel shall be a temple prostitute! F1?G 4ou shall not bring the fee of a prostitute or the ages of a male
prostitute into the house of the 7265 your ,od in payment for any %o' for both of these are abhorrent to the
7265 your ,od!
<1 Hings 1BA2B ;6)C= there ere also male temple prostitutes in the land! *hey "ommitted all the abominations
of the nations that the 7265 dro%e out before the people of Israel!
<1 Hings 1$A12 ;6)C= :e put aay the male temple prostitutes out of the land' and remo%ed all the idols that his
an"estors had made!
<1 Hings 22AB6 ;6)C= *he remnant of the male temple prostitutes ho ere still in the land in the days of his
father Asa' he e.terminated!
<2 Hings 28A> ;6)C= :e bro#e don the houses of the male temple prostitutes that ere in the house of the
7265' here the omen did ea%ing for Asherah!
;oteA 5uring the apostasy of Israel ritual prostitution be"ame "ommon and part of the "eremonies asso"iated
ith the pagan religions that largely too# o%er from 4:+: orship at that time! *emple prostitutes ere
forbidden in the la! *heir establishment by some #ings as seen as a great a"t of i"#edness and the
e.termination of these homose.ual prostitutes as an a"t of righteousness! *he "ondemnation as partly
be"ause they helped promote idolatry and partly be"ause they ere homose.ual!
>ffeinacy and the (1ay 3ifestyle(
<5euteronomy 22A$ ;H0C= 3A oman shall not ear anything that pertains to a man' nor shall a man put on a
oman(s garment' for all ho do so are an abomination to the 7265 your ,od!
;oteA Cross-dressing and the "amp lifestyle are displeasing to ,od!
<oose?ual Counities
<,enesis 19A1-11 ;6)C= *he to angels "ame to )odom in the e%ening' and 7ot as sitting in the gateay of
)odom! +hen 7ot sa them' he rose to meet them' and boed don ith his fa"e to the ground! F2G :e said'
3Elease' my lords' turn aside to your ser%ant(s house and spend the night' and ash your feetK then you "an rise
early and go on your ay!3 *hey said' 3;oK e ill spend the night in the s&uare!3 F8G But he urged them
stronglyK so they turned aside to him and entered his houseK and he made them a feast' and ba#ed unlea%ened
bread' and they ate! FBG But before they lay don' the men of the "ity' the men of )odom' both young and old' all
the people to the last man' surrounded the houseK F$G and they "alled to 7ot' 3+here are the men ho "ame to
you tonightD Bring them out to us' so that e may #no them!3 F6G 7ot ent out of the door to the men' shut the
door after him' F>G and said' 3I beg you' my brothers' do not a"t so i"#edly! F?G 7oo#' I ha%e to daughters ho
ha%e not #non a manK let me bring them out to you' and do to them as you pleaseK only do nothing to these
men' for they ha%e "ome under the shelter of my roof!3 F9G But they replied' 3)tand ba"#I3 And they said' 3*his
fello "ame here as an alien' and he ould play the @udgeI ;o e ill deal orse ith you than ith them!3
*hen they pressed hard against the man 7ot' and "ame near the door to brea# it don! F10G But the men inside
rea"hed out their hands and brought 7ot into the house ith them' and shut the door! F11G And they stru"# ith
blindness the men ho ere at the door of the house' both small and great' so that they ere unable to find the
door!
R7ater on in that "hapter!!!!!<,enesis 19A22-2? ;6)C= :urry' es"ape there' for I "an do nothing until you arri%e
there!3 *herefore the "ity as "alled Qoar! F28G *he sun had risen on the earth hen 7ot "ame to Qoar! F2BG
*hen the 7265 rained on )odom and ,omorrah sulfur and fire from the 7265 out of hea%enK F2$G and he
o%erthre those "ities' and all the Elain' and all the inhabitants of the "ities' and hat gre on the ground! F26G
But 7ot(s ife' behind him' loo#ed ba"#' and she be"ame a pillar of salt! F2>G Abraham ent early in the morning
to the pla"e here he had stood before the 7265K F2?G and he loo#ed don toard )odom and ,omorrah and
toard all the land of the Elain and sa the smo#e of the land going up li#e the smo#e of a furna"e!S
<0udges 19A22-2$ ;6)C= +hile they ere en@oying themsel%es' the men of the "ity' a per%erse lot' surrounded
the house' and started pounding on the door! *hey said to the old man' the master of the house' 3Bring out the
man ho "ame into your house' so that e may ha%e inter"ourse ith him!3 F28G And the man' the master of the
house' ent out to them and said to them' 3;o' my brothers' do not a"t so i"#edly! )in"e this man is my guest'
do not do this %ile thing! F2BG :ere are my %irgin daughter and his "on"ubineK let me bring them out no! 6a%ish
them and do hate%er you ant to themK but against this man do not do su"h a %ile thing!3 F2$G But the men
ould not listen to him! )o the man sei9ed his "on"ubine' and put her out to them! *hey antonly raped her' and
abused her all through the night until the morning! And as the dan began to brea#' they let her go!
R7ater that "hapter and the ne.t!!!<0udges 19A80 - 20A11 ;H0C= And so it as that all ho sa it said' 3;o su"h
deed has been done or seen from the day that the "hildren of Israel "ame up from the land of 1gypt until this
day! Consider it' "onfer' and spea# upI3 ! )o all the "hildren of Israel "ame out' from 5an to Beersheba' as ell
as from the land of ,ilead' and the "ongregation gathered together as one man before the 7265 at Mi9pah! F2G
And the leaders of all the people' all the tribes of Israel' presented themsel%es in the assembly of the people of
,od' four hundred thousand foot soldiers ho dre the sord! F8G <;o the "hildren of Ben@amin heard that the
"hildren of Israel had gone up to Mi9pah!= *hen the "hildren of Israel said' 3*ell us' ho did this i"#ed deed
happenD3 FBG )o the 7e%ite' the husband of the oman ho as murdered' ansered and said' 3My "on"ubine
and I ent into ,ibeah' hi"h belongs to Ben@amin' to spend the night! F$G 3And the men of ,ibeah rose against
me' and surrounded the house at night be"ause of me! *hey intended to #ill me' but instead they ra%ished my
"on"ubine so that she died! F6G 3)o I too# hold of my "on"ubine' "ut her in pie"es' and sent her throughout all
the territory of the inheritan"e of Israel' be"ause they "ommitted ledness and outrage in Israel! F>G 37oo#I All of
you are "hildren of IsraelK gi%e your ad%i"e and "ounsel here and noI3 F?G )o all the people arose as one man'
saying' 3;one of us ill go to his tent' nor ill any turn ba"# to his houseK F9G 3but no this is the thing hi"h e
ill do to ,ibeahA +e ill go up against it by lot! F10G 3+e ill ta#e ten men out of e%ery hundred throughout all
the tribes of Israel' a hundred out of e%ery thousand' and a thousand out of e%ery ten thousand' to ma#e
pro%isions for the people' that hen they "ome to ,ibeah in Ben@amin' they may repay all the %ileness that they
ha%e done in Israel!3 F11G )o all the men of Israel ere gathered against the "ity' united together as one
man!!!!!!<*he "ity as e%entually totally destroyed and e%eryone in it #illed=S
;oteA Both these homose.ual "ommunities be"ame so enmeshed in homose.ual lust that homose.ual rape as
a""epted as a part of their "ommunal lifestyle! It had rea"hed the point here there as no "ontrition for a"tions
of %iolen"e toards strangers in"luding group rape and insisten"e on homose.ual inter"ourse ith %isitors! )u"h
aggressi%ely homose.ual "ommunities in"urred firstly ,od(s dire"t @udgment <)odom and ,omorrah= and
se"ondly :is @udgment mediated through the "ourts of Israel <,ibeah=!
7FGG+=)
:omose.ual a"tions' lusts' and lifestyle are seen as unsuitable for Christians and rong in ,od(s sight! Both
lesbianism and homose.uality are in"luded in )"riptures "ondemnation! *he more outrageous forms of
homose.uality su"h as homose.ual prostitution and homose.ual "ommunities "onsumed by homose.ual lusts
bring dire"t @udgment from ,od! :omose.ual lusts are seen as a sign that a person has departed far from ,od
and are normally @udged by ,od in to aysA 1= A dar#ening of the mind and spirit! 2= 5isease 3re"ei%ing the
due penalty <death= in their bodies!!!!3 <6omans 1A26-2?=! :omose.ual a"tions are seen as being among the
great "rimes su"h as sla%e trading' "on-artistry and murder! <1 *imothy 1A?-11=! *herefore homose.uality is out
of pla"e for the Christian! :oe%er homose.uals are not beyond the rea"h of ,od(s sal%ation and they "an be
redeemed' ashed' san"tified and @ustified li#e e%eryone else upon repentan"e from sin and faith in 0esus
Christ!<A"ts 2A8?-B0=
Biblical =esponse 2o
7aeB7e? Garriages +
*his arti"le ill loo# at the main bibli"al data "on"erning same se.
marriages and ill "on"lude that no "hur"h that ta#es the Bible seriously
"an san"tion a union beteen homose.uals or lesbians!
1od"s Arder 0or 7e?uality B 2he +rguent 0ro 5esign
<,enesis 1A2> ;H0C= )o ,od "reated man in :is on imageK in the image
of ,od :e "reated himK male and female :e "reated them!
<,enesis 2A1?-2$ ;H0C= And the 7265 ,od said' 3It is not good that man
should be aloneK I ill ma#e him a helper "omparable to him!3 F19G 2ut of
the ground the 7265 ,od formed e%ery beast of the field and e%ery bird of
the air' and brought them to Adam to see hat he ould "all them! And
hate%er Adam "alled ea"h li%ing "reature' that as its name! F20G )o Adam ga%e names to all "attle' to the
birds of the air' and to e%ery beast of the field! But for Adam there as not found a helper "omparable to him!
F21G And the 7265 ,od "aused a deep sleep to fall on Adam' and he sleptK and :e too# one of his ribs' and
"losed up the flesh in its pla"e! F22G *hen the rib hi"h the 7265 ,od had ta#en from man :e made into a
oman' and :e brought her to the man! F28G And Adam saidA 3*his is no bone of my bones And flesh of my
fleshK )he shall be "alled +oman' Be"ause she as ta#en out of Man!3 F2BG *herefore a man shall lea%e his
father and mother and be @oined to his ife' and they shall be"ome one flesh! F2$G And they ere both na#ed'
the man and his ife' and ere not ashamed!
*he image of ,od is both male and female and is refle"ted in a godly union beteen male and female here the
"reati%e poer of ,od' :is life-gi%ing ' :is self-gi%ing and :is moral nature are perfe"tly e.pressed! *his is only
possible in a heterose.ual union! +hen ,od "reated a partner for Adam :e "reated 1%e - not another Adam!
*his means that perfe"t partnership re&uires some le%el of differen"e as ell as a le%el of similarity so great that
Adam "ould "ry out loudly 3*his is no bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh3! :eterose.uality is the normal
method of human bonding and the one for hi"h our bodies and emotions are designed!
If ,od had intended the human ra"e to be fulfilled through both heterose.ual and homose.ual marriage :e
ould ha%e designed our bodies to allo reprodu"tion through both means and made both means of se.ual
inter"ourse healthy and natural! :omose.ual anal inter"ourse "arries a high ris# of disease' this is re"ognised in
)"ripture here gay men are said to 3re"ei%e in their bodies the due penalty for their error3! 2nly 1P of
homose.uals die of old age!
What Desus 2aught
<Matthe 19AB ;H0C= And :e ansered and said to them' 3:a%e you not read that :e ho made them at the
beginning (made them male and female'(
<Mar# 10A6 ;H0C= 3But from the beginning of the "reation' ,od (made them male and female!(
+hen 0esus as as#ed &uestions about marriage he ent straight ba"# to the defining passages in ,enesis that
say that marriage is beteen male and female and is meant to be life long! :e sa the "reation a""ounts in
,enesis as authoritati%e in :is day! And hat is authoritati%e for 0esus is authoritati%e for Christians also! +hile
0esus did not spe"ifi"ally tea"h on homose.uality :is establishment of the ,enesis passages as the
fundamental passages on marriage' <e%en more fundamental that the 7a= lea%es no doubt as to the out"ome!
2he 2eaching In 2he >pistles
<6omans 1A26-2> ;H0C= Jor this reason ,od ga%e them up to %ile passions! Jor e%en their omen e."hanged
the natural use for hat is against nature! F2>G 7i#eise also the men' lea%ing the natural use of the oman'
burned in their lust for one another' men ith men "ommitting hat is shameful' and re"ei%ing in themsel%es the
penalty of their error hi"h as due!
<1 Corinthians 6A9-10 ;H0C= 5o you not #no that the unrighteous ill not inherit the #ingdom of ,odD 5o not be
de"ei%ed! ;either forni"ators' nor idolaters' nor adulterers' nor homose.uals' nor sodomites' F10G nor thie%es'
nor "o%etous' nor drun#ards' nor re%ilers' nor e.tortioners ill inherit the #ingdom of ,od!
<1 *imothy 1A9-10 ;H0C= #noing thisA that the la is not made for a righteous person' but for the laless and
insubordinate' for the ungodly and for sinners' for the unholy and profane' for murderers of fathers and
murderers of mothers' for manslayers' F10G for forni"ators' for sodomites' for #idnappers' for liars' for per@urers'
and if there is any other thing that is "ontrary to sound do"trine'
*hese three referen"es indi"ate that homose.ual passions and a"ts are unnatural' shameful' "ontrary to sound
do"trine and deny entran"e to the Hingdom of ,od! *his being so they "annot be the basis of a Christian
marriage san"tioned by ,od(s Chur"h! *he Chur"h e.ists to sa%e people not to bless the means of their
damnation! ;o marriage "an be san"tioned by the Chur"h if the %ery basis of the marriage in%ol%es a"ts that put
the "ouple outside of eternal sal%ation! ;o matter hat our so"iety may legislate the la of ,od is "lear - that a
marriage is not a godly marriage if it is a same se. union!
+re >otions + 7ufficient Basis 0or Garriage6
:ollyood has propagated the myth that hen it "omes to marriage Mall you need is lo%e3! *his is simply not true!
Marriage is not based on emotion any more than any other partnership in life is! Marriage li#e many human
a"ti%ities in%ol%es emotion but it is not "onstituted by the presen"e of any parti"ular set of emotions! I do not
deny that many homose.uals feel deeply for their partners hoe%er I do assert that no matter ho deep the
feelings hat they ha%e is not a marriage in ,od(s sight! It is a beautiful de"eption! 0ust be"ause an emotion is
deep or poerful does not @ustify a"ting upon it! 7i#e drugs' li#e adultery' li#e the abuse of al"ohol or the lo%e of
money' or the poer rush of human ego trips there are emotions hi"h are poerful and addi"ti%e and ultimately
terribly destru"ti%e! )ame se. marriages must satisfy "riteria other than emotion! A marriage is more than a
se.ual pleasure "entre! A marriage is a so"ial unit that is intero%en ith do9ens of other li%es! )ame se.
marriages do not last! 7ess than $P of gays ha%e e%er had a relationship that lasted 8 years or more! )e. is not
enough! Eassion "annot sustain an inherently unstable so"ial unit!
7ociety! 2he Church and 7ae 7e? Garriages
Marriage is a fundamental so"ial institution that does not e.ist @ust for the emotional satisfa"tion of to
indi%iduals but for the greater good of the "ommunity hi"h stands under the blessing or "urse of ,od! )o"ieties
that put emotional fulfillment before right a"tions and prin"iples ill soon gi%e ay to a multitude of addi"tions
and deep "orruptions and "ollapse! ,od ill @udge any so"iety that institutes same se. marriages!
I also belie%e that ,od ill @udge a so"iety that permits adoption of "hildren or the use of sperm ban#s by same
se. "ouples! :is +ord stands o%er so"iety and hen it is deliberately flaunted in the name of progress and
enlightenment then it is not light but deep dar#ness that results! +e "annot bend the prin"iples of ,od(s +ord to
suit %o"al minority groups! +hile some nations may ena"t las permitting these e%ils the true "hur"h of ,od
must stand resolutely firm and ne%er allo the san"tioning of same se. marriages by Christian "lergy!
hy Christians )hould *a#e
A )tand Against Eornography +
*his arti"le fo"uses on the so"ial results of hard-"ore pornography! *hese
reasons ere sent to the *ons%ille Bulletin as part of a petition to ha%e
ad%ertisements for ... %ideo ser%i"es remo%ed from the paper! *he paper
promptly "omplied and the ads ere remo%ed! 4ou may use these reasons
as part of any lo"al "hur"h based "ampaign against pornography! *he
Bibli"al reasons are not dis"ussed here but are outlined in the ne.t arti"le!
If you belie%e that no one as "orrupted by a boo#' you ha%e also to belie%e
that no one as e%er impro%ed by a boo# <or a play or a mo%ie=! 4ou ha%e to
belie%e' in other ords' that all art is morally tri%ial and that' "onse&uently' all
edu"ation is morally irrele%ant! <Ir%ing Hristol' Eornography' 2bs"enity' and
the Case for Censorship=
1! *here are more outlets for pornography in the Lnited )tates than
M"5onald(s restaurants!<*his is a statisti" from the ;ational Coalition Against
Eornography!=
2! A "hild is se.ually molested e%ery B> se"onds in the Lnited )tates! As
many as 90P of the abused "hildren &uestioned re%ealed that they ere
shon adult hard-"ore pornography prior to molestation! <Children(s 7egal
Joundation=
8! )i. hundred Ameri"an males and females of @unior high s"hool age and abo%e ere inter%ieed about their
(out-in-real-life in%ol%ement ith pornography(! It found that 91P of the males and ?2P of the females admitted
ha%ing been e.posed to X-rated' hard-"ore pornography!3*o-thirds of the males and B0P of the females
reported anting to try out some of the se.ual beha%iours they had itnessed! Among high s"hool students'
81P of the males and 1?P of the females admitted a"tually doing some of the things se.ually they had seen in
the pornography ithin a fe days after e.posure!!!!
B! Inter%ies ha%e re%ealed that ?>P of "hild molesters admit to regular use of pornographyA >>P of all "hild
molesters of boys and ?>P of molesters of girls admitted using pornography and imitating the se.ual beha%ior in
the pornographi" material hen they "ommitted their "rimes! 5eath ro inmates ha%e admitted that their rape
and murder assaults ere dire"tly related to years of e.posure to pornography!
$! Eornography is a Y8 Billion-a-year business! <JBI statisti"=
6! 6e"ently a Canadian study reported that teenagers <ages 12-1>= ere among the most interested in
pornography! 5r! Aaron :ass "ondu"ted a study for the LC7A )"hool of Medi"ine and inter%ieed some 62$
young people! :is findings re%ealed that those in this age group <12-1>=' ere the primary ones pornographers
aimed at! 2ther studies "onfirmed that more than B6P of Ameri"an 0unior :igh students ere at"hing X-rated
pornographi" mo%ies!
hat"s Wrong With Fsing
7e? 2o +dvertise 2hings6 W
*his arti"le is a Christian and bibli"al perspe"ti%e on the use of se.
in ad%ertising! Its aims areA 1= *o ma#e Christians uneasy about
a""epting this as 3normal3 and 2H! 2= *o perhaps indu"e some to
rite to "ompanies that use inappropriate ad%ertising te"hni&ues
and to media outlets that offend! 8= *o stop Christians in the
ad%ertising industry unthin#ingly using se.ual imagery to promote
their produ"ts! *he "entral authority appealed to in this arti"le ill
be the Bible!
I ha%e found 12 good bibli"al reasons hy the use of se. in
ad%ertising is rong' they areA
1! )e. in ad%ertising treats the human body as Eust another
coodity and thus reinfor"es the di"tum that the material orld
is (all there is(! Eeople' in this %ie' are merely ob@e"ts' parti"ipators
in the mar#eting s"heme! *hey are %alued not for their #indness' integrity' "ompeten"e or "hara"ter but for ho
they loo# through a "amera lens alone! *his is demeaning in the e.treme and a profanation of the dignity of the
human person and of all uni%ersally held spiritual %alues! *he body of a Christian is not %aluable be"ause of its
photographi" %alue but be"ause 0esus indells it! <1 Corinthians 6A19-20 ;H0C= 2r do you not #no that your
body is the temple of the :oly )pirit ho is in you' hom you ha%e from ,od' and you are not your onD F20G
Jor you ere bought at a pri"eK therefore glorify ,od in your body and in your spirit' hi"h are ,od(s!
2! Man and oman are made in the iage of 1od hi"h in"ludes their physi"al being in some ay <,enesis
2A>=! *his image is to be treated ith respe"t and it is "learly a sin to behold anothers na#edness! <,enesis
9A22'28=
8! 1%en though Adam and 1%e ere orignally both na#ed and not ashamed <,enesis 2A2$=in a fallen orld ith
"orrupt desires the display of na#edness is shaeful! <,enesis 8A>-10' Isaiah B>A8= :en"e ,od ga%e Adam and
1%e ade&uate and strong "lothes! <,enesis 8A21= )e. in ad%ertising - parti"ularly the use of semi or full nudity is
thus shameful and unbibli"al!
B! *o loo# lustfully on a oman is adultery of the heart! <Matthe $A2>-29 ;H0C= 34ou ha%e heard that it as
said to those of old' (4ou shall not "ommit adultery!( F2?G 3But I say to you that hoe%er loo#s at a oman to lust
for her has already "ommitted adultery ith her in his heart! F29G 3If your right eye "auses you to sin' plu"# it out
and "ast it from youK for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish' than for your hole body to
be "ast into hell!
$! +hile some may argue that 3there is nothing rong ith it3 and 3to the pure all things are pure3 0esus does
not treat adultery of the heart so lightly but "ondemns it as a pra"ti"e that ill "ause 3your hole body to be "ast
into :ell!!3! *he ad%ertiser is "ausing others to seriously stuble in their Christian *al,! 2f this 0esus says
<Mar# 9AB2 ;H0C= 3But hoe%er "auses one of these little ones ho belie%e in Me to stumble' it ould be better
for him if a millstone ere hung around his ne"#' and he ere thron into the sea!
6! )e. in ad%ertising is a form of unconsuated prostitution! *he premise is 3If you pay the money <buy the
produ"t= you get the girl3! Erostitution is alays "ondemned in )"ripture! <7e%iti"us 19A29 ;H0C= (5o not
prostitute your daughter' to "ause her to be a harlot' lest the land fall into harlotry' and the land be"ome full of
i"#edness!3 2bser%e +estern so"iety - "annot some of the abundan"e of i"#edness be tra"ed to the
unleashing of %ast amounts of se.ual temptation through the mediaD :a%e e 3prostituted our daughters3 for the
sa#e of tradeD
>!Aur thin,ing is of paramount importan"e sin"e that is primarily here the )pirit of ,od tou"hes us! *he
unrighteous man is as#ed to forsa#e his thoughts <Isaiah $$A> ;H0C= 37et the i"#ed forsa#e his ay' And the
unrighteous man his thoughtsK 7et him return to the 7265' And :e ill ha%e mer"y on himK And to our ,od' Jor
:e ill abundantly pardon!3 And the Christian is e.horted to fi. their minds on things abo%e! <Colossians 8A2-8
;H0C=3)et your mind on things abo%e' not on things on the earth! F8G Jor you died' and your life is hidden ith
Christ in ,od!3 *he la of 3you reap hat you so3 or 3garbage in' garbage out3 applies to the mind as ell! *he
use of se. in ad%ertising is an in%itation for us to fi. our minds on fleshly' "arnal and greedy things! It is designed
to indu"e us to thin# unrighteously! *his ould not be so bad if it "ould be easily a%oided by the Christian!
:oe%er our "ulture(s %isual en%ironment is saturated ith it - parti"ularly here in Australia!
?! *he ubi&uity of se. in ad%ertising is an assault on religious freedo of "hoi"e! Christians' Muslims' 0es
and Bahai(s are amongst many religions that find the use of se. in ad%ertising morally offensi%e and a %iolation
of their prin"iples! *hose religions that emphasi9e ha%ing a pure thought life free from unanted intrusions do
not appre"iate being bombarded by semi-eroti" pi"tures through e%ery a%ailable medium!
9! Esy"hologists ha%e found that the human mind "annot distinguish beteen a suffi"iently %i%id fantasy and
reality! *his dis"o%ery has been used for "onstru"ti%e purposes in the %isuali9ation and 3rehearsal3 te"hni&ues
de%eloped for sportsmen! :oe%er it has also been used for e%il and nearly e%ery ma@or serial #iller fed their
mind on large doses of pornography and %iolen"e' mentally fantasi9ing and rehearsing their a"tions' before they
"ommitted their "rimes! ,i%en the great poer of human %isuali9ation e must use it isely and "ontrol the
images e "reate in our minds! 0esus said <Matthe 6A22-28 ;H0C= 3*he lamp of the body is the eye! If
therefore your eye is good' your hole body ill be full of light! F28G 3But if your eye is bad' your hole body ill
be full of dar#ness! If therefore the light that is in you is dar#ness' ho great is that dar#nessI3 )e. in ad%ertising
puts false and destru"ti%e images before the eyes of men and omen! +omen ho 3see3 the impossibly thin
models of the maga9ines as 3standard3 are often tormented by deep feelings of physi"al inferiority and dri%e
themsel%es ith unrealisti" e.pe"tations! Many be"ome bulimi" or e%en anore.i" as a result! )ome die!
10! )e. in ad%ertising aims to produ"e a covetous consuer! Arousing a fundamental and hen"e poerful
appetite and asso"iating it strongly ith a material produ"t produ"es a strongly reinfor"ed desire to obtain that
produ"t! *his desire operates not only at the rational le%el of intelligent pur"hasing but at the "o%etous 3gut le%el3
of greedy desire! *hus se. in ad%ertising aims to sub%ert the operation of intelligent dis"iplined pur"hasing and
repla"e it ith instin"tual le%el impulse buying and "o%eting! Jor the Christian' or e%en for the person of isdom'
this is "learly rong! <1.odus 20A1> ;H0C= 34ou shall not "o%et your neighbor(s houseK you shall not "o%et your
neighbor(s ife' nor his male ser%ant' nor his female ser%ant' nor his o.' nor his don#ey' nor anything that is your
neighbor(s!3 26 <Matthe 6A19-21 ;H0C= 35o not lay up for yoursel%es treasures on earth' here moth and rust
destroy and here thie%es brea# in and stealK F20G 3but lay up for yoursel%es treasures in hea%en' here neither
moth nor rust destroys and here thie%es do not brea# in and steal! F21G 3Jor here your treasure is' there your
heart ill be also!3 26 <Colossians 8A$-6 ;H0C= *herefore put to death your members hi"h are on the earthA
forni"ation' un"leanness' passion' e%il desire' and "o%etousness' hi"h is idolatry! F6G Be"ause of these things
the rath of ,od is "oming upon the sons of disobedien"e'
11! )e. in ad%ertising generally in%ol%es lying about the nature of the produ"t! Beautiful omen do ;2*
a""ompany the pur"hase of a "ar or "omputer or a bar of soap! *hese produ"ts often do little or nothing to
in"rease one(s attra"ti%eness! *he implied in"rease in se. appeal is false! *o asso"iate eroti" %alue ith a
produ"t that has none is similar to saying that the produ"t has a "ertain feature hen it patently does not! *he
)"riptures are &uite "lear about "ondemning the use of de"eption at any le%el! <Ero%erbs 12A22 ;H0C= 7ying lips
are an abomination to the 7265' But those ho deal truthfully are :is delight!
12! *he pro"ess of produ"ing se.ually oriented ad%ertisements often in%ol%es values and actions that are
morally repulsi%e to the Christian! *he photographing of nude models' not e%en for art' but for "ommer"ial gain
should repel the "ons"ien"e of any )pirit-filled Christian photographer! *he auditioning pro"ess also has a
mar#ed reputation for slea9iness! *he ma#ing of an ad%ertisement in%ol%es a desensiti9ing of the "ons"ien"e of
the photographer' the modelOs' the ad%ertising agen"y and the media as ell as the "ompany that the ads are
for! *here must be hundreds of minor and ma@or moral "ompromises behind e%ery su"h ad%ertisement!
<Ero%erbs 2?A6 ;H0C= Better is the poor ho al#s in his integrity *han one per%erse in his ays' though he be
ri"h! <Ero%erbs 10A9 ;H0C= :e ho al#s ith integrity al#s se"urely' But he ho per%erts his ays ill
be"ome #non!
7uary
*he use of se. in ad%ertising is not inno"ent mar#eting! It is a ma@or and idespread defilement of the human
person! It is 3trade in souls3! Jello Christians' it is time e spo#e out! +e need to rite to manufa"turers'
parti"ularly those ho are belie%ers' and as# them to refrain from using se. in ad%ertising! +e need to form high
&uality' ethi"al' Christian ad%ertising agen"ies that mar#et produ"ts s#ilfully but de"ently! +rite to your media
standards asso"iation' your nespapers and your *C stations and let them #no your %ies! +here possible
use your poer as a "onsumer to a%oid buying produ"ts that use se. in ad%ertising! +e "an roll ba"# the tide for
,od is ith us! Eray' unite and AC*!
:ere is a suggested letter you "an use!
5ear Manufa"turer'
I ha%e noti"ed that your produ"t 3;o! 1 +idget 3 is ad%ertised using human nudity as a ma@or selling point! I
belie%e this is untruthful regarding the nature of the produ"t and a defilement of the omen in%ol%ed in ma#ing
that ad%ertisement! As a Christian I find my religious beliefs affronted by your ad%ertisement! I ill not buy your
produ"t as long as this ad is used to sell it!
4ours sin"erely'
0oe Bloggs!