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Because of Belief: My Educational Autobiography
By: Emily Rudder
829-760-093
HONOR PLEDGE: I have not given, received, or used any unauthorized assistance.
From the time I could talk, my parents always instilled in me that I was smart. They made sure I knew that I could accomplish anything I wanted because I had the ability to speak my mind, be educated, and attend school. When I was only three, I attended preschool with my babysitter and learned how to read and interact with other students, but most importantly, I found a passion for learning. From math to social studies, I desired to learn more. I wanted to engage in everything there was to learn and share that knowledge with everyone I met. As I look back, it is clear that I had a very privileged background with a family that pushed and supported me, a community that took female students seriously and held us at high standards, and had teachers who genuinely cared about my success as a student from grade school until graduation. I am beyond blessed in my educational experience, and have learned that hard work and applying myself to any situation can end up being a learning lesson that will aid in the journey of life. Now, this seems all peachy and sounds as though I had the perfect educational experiences, and that may be true for me, but I realize that all of my experiences were not all positive. Growing up in a very small town was a blessing and a burden. Not only did everyone know when I was in trouble or if I missed church on Sunday, everyone knew how well I did in school. I was and forever will be deemed the nerd of Limon High. As I look back on that now, I know it was a great title for me, but it did not just start in high school. In kindergarten, all the girls made fun of me and called me names when we were at recess or in class not around a teacher, but the minute a group project or some kind of classroom activity came up, I was always the first person picked to be on a team. I noticed this in elementary and through middle school. Because of not really having true friends and always being the teachers pet, I realize now that I had a better educational experience. Not only did teachers push me harder and challenge me more, I did all the work for most of my classmates throughout elementary and middle school. Being a young lady in elementary was also very beneficial to my experience because only the boys found themselves in trouble with teachers. I could not tell you if this was a sexist gesture or if the boys just deserved the treatment they received, but I was never punished for behavior (nor did I exhibit any) that I can remember. During elementary and middle school, I attend Genoa-Hugo schools, which was an all- white school except for my best friend, Jordana. As a preschooler, I noticed that Jordana was tanner than me, but I did not understand why because her mom was white. I befriended her, and by kindergarten, we became best friends. However, I did notice that the other students did treat her differently in elementary. She did not have very many friends expect me and one other girl, but I felt similarly. Our lack of friends caused us to immerse ourselves in school and for Jordana, she immersed herself with books. She could read faster and the most difficult books by third grade. Even though she was very intelligent, many teachers did not challenge her in math and science like they did for me. She still says that she is not very good with math, but I believe she could have been if the teachers would have challenged her like they did for me. When I transferred to Limon High School my freshman year (with Jordana), I was placed in a much bigger school with quite a bit more diversity, even though it seems like very little to what I am experiencing now in college. I saw students in the hallways that were minorities, and I was surprised, especially living on the eastern plains. There were about a dozen Mexican American and a family of five African American students, and they did stick out like a sore thumb; however, I could tell Jordana felt more comfortable here, and soon she sought out relationships with many different people. The differences between us never hindered my view of education, but I was troubled when I thought to myself, How can Limon have this much diversity when Hugo, only eight miles away has no diversity in race? Teachers obviously played a big role in my life, hence why I aspire to positively impact students through teaching today; however, sometimes the not so good teachers leave a longer lasting impact then the good ones. One teacher that made a negative impact on my educational story was Mr. Jacobsen. He favored the football boys above everyone in his classroom. Although I was confident in my speaking ability, he told me that I would never be a good public speaker in his speech class, and I was devastated. Even as a sophomore in high school, I lost some self- confidence about being smart and accomplishing my goals by that one comment by a teacher who barely even knew I existed because he was too busy boasting and bragging about the football team. The more and more I spent time in his classroom, the more and more I knew that teachers like him needed to not teach. In a back-handed way, it lit a fire under me to be a better, well-rounded teacher than he would ever be. Although I experienced a negative teacher, I had more extraordinary teachers than I can could on my hands. One that stands out to me is my agriculture education teacher, Mr. Weber. He challenged me more than any teacher ever had, but he did not just challenge me in the classroom, he challenged me with life and leadership skills. I owe quite a bit of my personal success to him. He always pushed me to be better, find a solution, or reach out to others in an out of the classroom. Plus, we had a great line of communication. I could approach him about anything, and I know that he would do anything in his power to help me find the information or person I needed to get into contact with. One specific lesson Mr. Weber taught me was that I could not do everything on my own and that it was good to delegate and help develop those around me. I was planning an interactive career fair to promote the sustainability of rural America all by myself, and I was overloading with school, sports, FFA, and everything else I had on top of organizing this event. He never had to lecture me in a classroom about how to develop a better plan of action or I needed to involve others better. He simply sat me down one on one and asked what I needed. He asked how he could help, and in that moment, I learned that I could ask for help, and it was good to ask for help and offer help because that means accomplishing a goal or task and involving others skills and strengths along the way. More importantly as a future educator, I learned how important it was to build good relationships with students to have a greater impact not only in the classroom with students but outside the classroom with life and family and other issues. I was clearly privileged and blessed with the opportunities I had growing up, but I could see the issues of being different from other students and teachers just by being friends with Jordana and being the nerdy girl in school. I am grateful for my experiences good or bad because they made me who I am today. These experiences have instilled passion in me to make a difference in the lives of students, in my classroom, with my fellow faculty, and in my school district by setting a good example of a teacher who communicates, accepts, and promotes diversity on every level from race to reading level to what sports a student decides to play. I truly desire that every student I come in contact with has the opportunities to be challenged like I did. I hope that every student accomplishes their dreams with the help of a teacher and the peers around them. Most importantly, I want my students to know that they are smart and can be successful because they can speak their mind, be educated and stay in school, just like my parents taught me.