University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Wilson

Assignment Two: Relationships Good or Bad for ealth!" #NG$ 11%&, 'rofessor Walden By:(i)helle Wilson,&%1* University of North Carolina at Charlotte +or 'i)t,re version )li)- here

University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Wilson

&

Background/Introduction: Relationships, the life.line of h,man so)iety/ We all have them with o,r mothers, fathers, and many others who for one reason or another )ame into o,r lives/ Whether they are good or 0ad ones we all have ties to those aro,nd ,s/ 1ome of these ties are e2tremely spe)ial to so)iety, li-e the 0ond of marriage/ 3(arriage is the most important event in a persons life3, 3 #veryone has a spe)ial someone o,t there3, 3(arriage is happiness3 these are things almost everyone in the world has heard 0efore/ We go on and on a0o,t how fantasti) and wonderf,l romanti) relationships are, a0o,t how they are s,pposed to 0e healthy for ,s, and how they give ,s more sta0ility for o,r finan)es/ To 0e honest, it is somewhat weird how m,)h emphasis we p,t on one moment in o,r lives/ A))ording to all sorts of maga4ines if we do not marry 0y the time we are thirty years old or at least in a steady relationship we are going to end to end ,p alone and misera0le/ 5n this paper 5 hope to e2plore and 0etter ,nderstand 6,st to how far of an e2tent what we hear from the media is a)t,ally tr,e when it )omes to romanti) relationships and their effe)t on the average persons mental and physi)al state/ 5n order to o0tain some 0a)-gro,nd 5 started o0serving at the pop,lar romanti) television series 3 ow 5 met yo,r (other3 whi)h is a0o,t an average yo,ng man named Ted (os0y who 0egins sear)hing for his tr,e love/ This parti),lar series seemed to stand o,t as it has a narrative to it whi)h gives a 0etter ,nderstanding of how it effe)ts the a)tor to sear)h for a relationship/ 5t also provides a ,ni7,e side 0y side view of single 0y )hoi)e living, a steady )o,ple, and a single who wants to marry/ Tho,gh these e2amples are dramati4ed they do give some stereotyped e2amples to go off of as 5 )ontin,e my reasear)h/ +or instan)e, in the show

University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Wilson 3 ow 5 met yo,r (other3, Ted and his friend Barney )onstantly de0ate on whether marriage is a 0etter )hoi)e than single life/ 5n this paper 5 will e2plain my findings from

0oth my personal o0servations and the -nowledge of o,tside e2perts on the s,06e)t to see if 5 )an )onne)t marriage to improved so)ial well.0eing for 0oth men and women/ 9espite so)ietal press,re on singles to marry, 5 wish to arg,e, Ted: s point, that 0eing in a )ommited relationship married or not )an promote well.0eing or 3happiness3, in people/

What professionals are saying: Terms Cohabitation. living together with a signifi)ant other 0,t not d,e to marriage/ Depression. A mental state of severe ,nhappiness whi)h )an )a,se s,i)idal tho,ghts or 0ehaviors/ Social pressure. the p,shing of others on people to a)t or do things in a )ertain way/ Relationship stability. how well an intimate )o,pling is a0le to )o.e2ist witho,t )a,sing distress to ea)h other/ Marriage- The legal ,nion of two persons/ appiness.A state of 0oth physi)al and mental well.0eing and sta0ility/ !sychology. The st,dy of h,man 0ehavior, emotions, and the )a,ses of them/ ealth. aving all ne)essary physi)al and mental needs met or 0alan)ed/ aving no ailments/ Relationships. 5ntera)tions among people or gro,ps in good or 0ad will whi)h generate opinion on 0oth sides of the other/

University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Wilson

Relationship Instability on Material Well-fare (arriage is one of th most important instit,tions affe)ting people: s life and well. 0eing ;1t,t4er,&%%<=/We have two ma6or interest, to provide systemati) eviden)e on who 0enefits more and who 0enefits less from marriage ;1t,t4er,&%%<=/ (arriage stat,s is a -ey determinant of psy)hologi)al health/ 'eople in )oha0itation relationships reported &>? more relationship insta0ility and higher levels of depression than married )o,ples;Brown,&%%%=/ +rom an e)onomi) stand point more is 0etter, it is a prevailing theory that is thoro,ghly engrained into U1 so)iety/1po,ses e2pe)t some 0enefits from the partner:s e2pressed love, gratit,de and re)ognition, as well as from se),rity and material rewards ;1t,t4er,&%%<=/ @et happiness is not always the res,lt of more money, happiness is defined in psy)hologi)al terms as the sta0ility of ones well 0eing and there over.all satisfa)tion with the )ir),mstan)es whi)h they are living in ;#asterlin,&%%>=/ Two ma6or reasons why marriage )ontri0,tes to well.0eing are first: it provides self.esteem, and se)ond, they s,ffer less from loneliness/ 5t is seen that )o,ples show higher levels of e)onomi) sta0ility and happiness than those of single even despite disa0ility )laims for one or the other partner ;#asterlin,&%%>=/ 'eople who )o.ha0itate are seen to 0e signifi)antly happier than those living alone/ The en6oyment of 6oint a)tivities or the a0sen)e of loneliness and the emotional s,pport that fosters self.esteem are all important non.instr,mental aspe)ts to individ,al well.0eing in married people ;1t,t4er,&%%<=/ (ore than half of marriages start o,t as )oha0itations ;Brown,&%%%=/Twenty.five to thirty per)ent of )o,ples age &%.8% are

University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Wilson )oha0iting/ The high levels of insta0ility whi)h )oha0itators fa)e appears lin-ed to the li-elihood that )o,ples will marry/ This insta0ility is in)reased 0y )hildren and step. )hildren whereas married )o,ples seem impervio,s to this form of insta0ility ;Brown,&%%%=/ (ore than half of marriages start o,t as )oha0itations/Twenty.five to thirty per)ent of )o,ples age &%.8% are )oha0iting;Brown,&%%%=/ The high levels of insta0ility whi)h )oha0itators fa)e appears lin-ed to the li-elihood that )o,ples will marry/ This insta0ility is in)reased 0y )hildren and step.)hildren whereas married )o,ples seem impervio,s to this form of insta0ility/ The lower levels of happiness and well.0eing are

>

not d,e to the types of people 0,t rather d,e to the life style itself;Brown,&%%%=/ 5t is seen that 0eing widowed has a determental affe)t on the happiness of all age gro,ps whi)h )an last for the remainder of the individ,als lifespan and even )a,se pre.mat,re death ;#asterlin,&%%>=/ 5t is also seen that there is a great so)iologi)al effe)t on males who are trying to find a mate d,e to the amo,nt of relationship insta0ility they fa)e 0y )hanging partners so m,)h more than a married man ;Wilson,&%1*=/

Social Pressure on Sociological Well-fare alf a )ent,ry ago, despite 0eing poor or well.to.do )o,ples married at aro,nd the same rate ;#din,&%%>=/ Today poorer )o,ples are half as li-ely to get married than )o,ple who are 0etter off/ Whereas married people of 0oth genders are eval,ated more favora0ly than ,nmarried people, women appear to 0e s,06e)t to so)ial press,res to marry in ways men are not/ 5t was dis)overed, why in only fifty years there has 0een s,)h a drasti) drop in marriage among the poor is mainly d,e to the )hanging so)ietal view of pregnan)y,

University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Wilson finan)e, and relationship 7,ality;#din,&%%>=/ We e2amined three iss,es: +irst, to

<

determine if there were differen)es 0etween yo,ng women and men in their eagerness or desire to get married, se)ond e2am gender differen)es in the drive to marry, and third desire to adopt the h,s0and: s family name;Bla-emore,&%%>=/ 5t is no longer viewed as ta0oo for a man and women to have a 0a0y o,t of wed.lo)- or to live together ,n. married/ (any )o,ples are now also feeling that to get married is to sta0ili4e there finan)es, if there is no need to try to sta0ili4e the finan)ial 0,rdens than they feel no need to get married/ There is also slight de)rease in the desire and eagerness of women to marrying, yet thirty per)ent of women still )hoose marriage over attending )ollege if given the option ;Bla-emore,&%%>=/They also fear the )redit destroyer whi)h is divor)e if their relationship goes for the worst/ 5t is seen that women still hold a higher desire to marry than men, 0,t they are less li-ely to adopt there h,s0and: s last name ;Bla-emore,&%%>=/

'sy)ologists trying to ,nderstand the relationship of men to their health ,se mas),linity as one varia0le determinant/ There is eviden)e to show that many men go ,ndiagnosed and ,ntreated for depression d,e to hegemoni) mas),linity;#mslie,&%%<=/ The p,rpose of this either s,pporting or re6e)ting the need for men to 0ehave in a mas),line way as so)iety has p,shed them to for )ent,ries i/e/ hiding ones emotions and ta-ing )are of the 0asi) material needs of the gro,p/5t is seen as diffi),lt to determine a s)ale 0,t the most )ommon ,sed is Bem: s 1e2 Role 5nventory/5t is seen that men do not have as m,)h a))ess to health 0enefits and s,0sidy as women have ;Ro0ertson,&%%A,&%%A=/ What was fo,nd is that many men in the st,dy felt afraid to

University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Wilson show emotions s,)h as sadness thro,gh tears or otherwise 0e)a,se they had 0een ridi),led in the past for doing so 0eing )alled derogatory names or homose2,al;#mslie,&%%<=/ (any of the men interviewed did not -now what it is to tr,ly

30e a man3 it was ,nnessary to a)t in a mas),line way and that these mas),line 0ehaviors a)t,ally )a,se most )ases of male depression at least for those 0eing st,died/ Bariation in male testosterone levels may refle)t and effe)t 0ehavioral allo)ation to mating and parenting effort;B,rnham,&%%8=/ These are the first res,lts dire)tly s,pporting the notion that long.term pair 0onds ;not 6,st marriage= are important predi)tors of male hormone levels ;Craemer,&%%%=/ Using a 7,estionaire and saliva sample, res,lts show that men in )ommited romanti) relationship had &1? lower testosterone than men no involved in s,)h relationships/ 9ata s,ggest that 0eing in s,)h a relationship is -ey.not martial stat,s/ The disadvantages of the male are ,s,ally seen as so)ially mediated;Craemer,&%%%=/ They also s,ffer higher mortality rates than females/ The )a,ses are a mi2t,re of 0iologi)al and so)ial press,res we need to 0e of 0oth in order to promote 0etter development and health for 0oys and men/ C,lt,ral e2pe)tations a0o,t mas),linity shape e2pe)tations and e2perien)e of 0oys as they grow ,p;Craemer,&%%%=

My !osition: As far as 5 )an tell from the reso,r)es, it appears that )ommited relationships of any -ind do a)t,ally improve the over all well.0eing of a person/ The most fas)inating part of this reasear)h 0eing that relarionships seem to )orrelate with lower testoterone levels in men, th,s showing that there is a physi)al )hange in those who are in relationships/ The fa)t that there is so m,)h resear)h 0a)-ing ,p the age old plight that

University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Wilson marriage ma-es people happier and healthier does help s,pport my arg,ement, there are

some holes whi)h need to 0e filled into the resear)h inorder to tr,ly 0e a0le to )on)retely s,mmi4e that the ma6ority of relations help ,s as h,mans 0e)ome healthier and happier/ Ever all, in my resear)h 5 fo,nd that many of the resear)hers seemed to miss or rather seemed to negle)t to tell a0o,t the in)ome levels of their o0served s,06e)ts/ 5t is apparent in the wor- of Brown,&%%% and 1t,t4er,&%%</ ad they a))o,nted for the finan)ial )ir),mstan)e differen)es 0etween s,06e)t to s,06e)t it wo,ld have allowed more a))o,nta0ility to ,nderlining fa)tors whi)h )o,ld 0e the real reason that )o,ples where happy/ 5t wo,ld also )lear ,p why there is s,)h polari4ation in marriage happiness whi)h a))ording to 0oth Brown,&%%% and 1t,t4er,&%%< is either the happiest e2sisten)e people )o,ld report or the most misera0le one they have ever had/ Another thing whi)h wo,ld have helped in these st,dies wo,ld 0e how long )o,ples were either married or )oha0iting to a))o,nt for the 3 honey.moon3 period many )o,ples have when they first enter into deeper )ommitment whi)h tends to wear.off after some time/ 5n order to fill in the holes in the wor- of professionals s,)h as 1t,t4er,&%%< and Brown,&%%%, 5 wo,ld li-e to p,rpose that a new st,dy 0e )reated whi)h in)l,des singles, )oha0itors, and married persons with evenly distri0,ted ages and times in relationship stat,s/ 5n this st,dy s,06e)ts sho,ld re)ieve reg,lar 7,estionaires 6,st as in previo,s st,dies, however they sho,ld also 0e as-ed to video diary daily on there mood as this )o,ld provide more insight into the tr,thf,lness of how the s,06e)ts really feel thr, there visi0le 0ody lang,age ;i/e fa)ial e2pressions, hand gest,res, et)/=/ By adding video into the st,dy it also promotes honesty as it ma-es the st,dy parti)ipants thin- a0o,t their responses vers,s mindlessly )he)-ing a 0o2 on a pie)e of paper/

University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Wilson As far as the resear)h whi)h 5 e2amined )overing the hormonal )hanges )a,sed 0y 0eing in relationships, 5 feel it wo,ld have 0enefited to have a))ess to information a0o,t howGif women also e2perien)e hormonal )hanges li-e men do/ 5t wo,ld also 0e helpf,l to have a st,dy done whi)h shows what e2a)tly these )hanges in hormone levels effe)t in the 0ehaviorisms or physi)al )hara)teristi)s of 0oth men and women/ The

)hange in hormones was something whi)h 5 )o,ld not find f,lly e2plained in any st,dy or arti)le some even stated that this was something they had yet to fig,re o,t how to learn more a0o,t/ Concluding: Tho,gh there is an infinite list of things whi)h )o,ld 0e done to refine and t,ne the ),rrent st,dy of relationships, 5 feel it is safe with the data at present to say their is a )orrelation 0etween relationships and a more sta0le, happy life/ To go as far as to say that relationships ma-e happy people wo,ld 0e ,nrealisti) for many reasons/ 'sy)hology itself is one of the least rep,ta0le s)ien)es of the modern day as it has so many vari0les and fa)tors a0o,t it whi)h have yet to 0e deemed as )orre)t ass,mption for all )ases/ As we dis),ss relationships we are dis),ssing part of the resear)h whi)h is 0eing done in this most sha-y field/ After all people vary widely on how the feel emotion so it is nearly impossi0le to o0tain a general )onsens,s for how m,)h sadness or happiness they tr,ly feel over and event/ This is similar in regards to how pain is meas,red, some people )an 6,st handle more than others/ This is the reason n,m0er one why, while 5 a))ept a )orrelation 5 do not p,t any definative proof onto the )on)ept of relationships and happiness/

University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Wilson

1%

Another reason why 5 s,ggest a )orrelation 0etween happiness and relationships is d,e to the )hemistry involved with the hormonal levels in st,dies s,)h as B,rham:s/ Tho,gh we see de)reases in )ertain hormone levels we are still yet to determine how or if these )hanges do anything to effe)t the 0ehaviors or dopamine levels of the o0served person:s/ As for the rest, appiness and sta0ility are two )ompletely a0stra)t ideas that are defined 0y the individ,al person/ Ene happiness )an 0e greater than anothers whi)h as stated previo,sly 0ias the information )olle)ted/ Witho,t )reating a 0etter s)ale for happiness and other a0stra)t things s,)h as pain, et)/, we )annot hope to even 0egin to properly st,dy them/

"nnotated Citations

1t,t4er, A/, H +rey, B/ 1/ ;&%%<=/ 9oes marriage ma-e people happy, or do happy people get married!/ The Io,rnal of 1o)io.#)onomi)s, 8>;&=, 8&<.8*A/

#din, C/, H Reed, I/ (/ ;&%%>=/ Why don:t they 6,st get married! Barriers to marriage among the disadvantaged/ The +,t,re of Children, 1>;&=, 11A.18A/

Bla-emore, I/ #/ E/, $awton, C/ A/, H Bartanian, $/ R/ ;&%%>=/ 5 )an:t wait to get married: Gender differen)es in drive to marry/ 1e2 Roles, >8;>.<=, 8&A.88>/

University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Wilson #mslie, C/, Ridge, 9/, Jie0land, 1/, H ,nt, C/ ;&%%<=/ (en:s a))o,nts of depression: Re)onstr,)ting or resisting hegemoni) mas),linity!/ 1o)ial s)ien)e H medi)ine, <&;F=, &&*<.&&>A/

11

Ro0ertson, 1/ ;&%%A=/ Understanding (en And ealth: (as),linities, 5dentity And Well. Being: (as),linity, 5dentity and Well.0eing/ ()Graw. ill 5nternational/

B,rnham, T/ C/, Chapman, I/ +/, Gray, '/ B/, ()5ntyre, (/ /, $ipson, 1/ +/, H #llison, '/ T/ ;&%%8=/ (en in )ommitted, romanti) relationships have lower testosterone/ Hormones and Behavior, 44;&=, 11F.1&&/

#asterlin, R/ A/ ;&%%>=/ B,ilding a 0etter theory of well.0eing/ #)onomi)s and happiness: +raming the analysis, &F.<*/

Craemer, 1/ ;&%%%=/ The fragile male/ Clini)al (edi)ine Net'rints, 1/

Brown, 1/ $/ ;&%%%=/ The effe)t of ,nion type on psy)hologi)al well.0eing: 9epression among )oha0itors vers,s marrieds/ Io,rnal of health and so)ial 0ehavior, &*1.&>>/

Wilson, (i)helle ;&%1*=/ E0servations of 3 ow 5 met yo,r (other3 for episodes 1,&,and 8 of season 1/