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Repetition

The narrator was taught by their mother that repeating words over and over causes them to lose their meaning. When the narrator was seven, their parents divorced. Soon after, the narrator developed a stutter. The stutter caused the narrator to feel the meaning of every word drag itself up their throat. Even after practicing and reducing their stutter, the narrator still feels the claw of meaning at the bottom of their throat when speaking.

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Samuel Johnson Ho
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555 views2 pages

Repetition

The narrator was taught by their mother that repeating words over and over causes them to lose their meaning. When the narrator was seven, their parents divorced. Soon after, the narrator developed a stutter. The stutter caused the narrator to feel the meaning of every word drag itself up their throat. Even after practicing and reducing their stutter, the narrator still feels the claw of meaning at the bottom of their throat when speaking.

Uploaded by

Samuel Johnson Ho
Copyright
© Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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REPETITION I remember the bed just floating there. Apart, apart, apart, apart.

My mother taught me this trick If you repeat something over and over again, It loses its meaning. For example, Homework, homework, homework, homework, homework, homework See? Nothing. Our existence, she said, is the same way. You watch a sunset too often, It just becomes 6 p.m. You make the same mistake over and over, Youll stop calling it a mistake. If you just wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, Youll forget why. Nothing is forever, she said. My parents loved each other when I was seven years old. Before their last argument, They sent me off to the neighbours house, Like some astronaut jettison from the shuttle. When I came back, there is no gravity in our home. Beds floating. I imagined it as an accident, That when I left, They whispered to each other, I love you So many times over that they forgot what it meant. Family, family, family, family, family, family, My mother taught me this trick If you repeat something over and over and over, It loses its meaning. This became my favourite game. It made the sting of words evaporate. Separation, separation, separation See? Nothing. Apart, apart, apart, apart See? Nothing. Im an injured handyman now. I work with words all day. Shut up, I know the irony.

When I was young, I was taught that the trick to dominating language, Was breaking it down, Convincing it that it was worthless. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you See? Nothing. Soon after my parents divorced, I developed a stutter. Fate is an efficient and cruel tudor. There is no escape in stutter. You feel the meaning of every word Drag itself up your throat S-s-s-s-separation. Stutter is a cage made of mirrors. Every are you OK?, Every what did you say?, Every come on, kid, spit it out! Is a glaring reflection, You cannot escape. Every terrible moment skips upon its own announcement, Over and over, Until it just hangs there. Floating in the middle of the room. Mom, Dad, Im not wasteful with my words anymore. Even now, after hundreds of hours Practicing away my stutter, I still feel the claw of meaning At the bottom of my throat. Ive heard that even in space, You can hear the scratching of an I-I-I-I-I love you.

Phil Kaye

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