A Daughter's Dilemma By Miranda Lee Chapter One "Would all visitors please leave the ship immediately," came

the call along the corridors of the sea Countess! "We "ill #e departing in five minutes!" "$hat means me, % guess!" Carolyn sighed and stood up from "here she'd #een sitting in one of the ca#in's lu&urious armchairs! he "al'ed across the deep(pile #lue carpet and #ent to 'iss the chee' of the very attractive #londe "oman sitting on the side of the #ed! ")ave a "onderful honeymoon, Mum," she said softly! "*ou deserve it!" "$han' you, darling," %sa#el murmured in return, and cast a shy, almost #lushing glance at her hus#and of three hours! Carolyn smiled "ith approval as she turned to face her stepfather, "ho had also risen from his chair! +ifty(t"o and going #ald, ,ulian $hornton "as not a particularly handsome man! But he had a fine #uild and intelligent grey eyes, as "ell as a 'ind and patient nature! )e "as, in Carolyn's opinion, -ust the sort of man to ma'e her mother happy! "As for you, tep(papa," she said, giving him a 'iss also! "% thin' you're very naughty depriving me of my mother's company for t"o "hole months! ,ust as "ell you're leaving me your lovely car to drive around in or % might have #een cross!" )e chuc'led! "Mind you loo' after it!" "Carolyn." $he plaintive note in her mother's voice had her s"inging sharply around! "*es, Mum." )ard to 'eep the "orry out of her voice! urely nothing "as going to go "rong no"/ "Did!!!did % pac' that ne" hairdryer "e had to #uy. % -ust can't remem#er!!!" Carolyn tried to ignore the instant -a# of dismay! he 'ne" her mother's memory could still #e faulty, #ut she'd #een so much #etter lately and Carolyn had hoped!!! uppressing a sigh, she said #rightly! "%t's safely pac'ed! We put all your toiletries and accoutrements in here!" Moving #ris'ly, she pic'ed up the

smallest of the green leather suitcases lying against the "all and carried it over to place it gently on the #ed #eside her mother! ,ulian stepped up to the foot of the #ed! "Why don't you start unpac'ing, love," he suggested to his #ride, ""hile % see my charming stepdaughter off the ship." "All right!" %sa#el's voice carried that vaguely resigned compliance Carolyn al"ays hated hearing in her once strong(minded mother! Biting her #ottom lip, she "as unsure all of a sudden if her mother "as in a fit state to #e any#ody's "ife, even a man as understanding as ,ulian! "Come along, Carolyn!" )is voice "as firm! "We don't "ant you sailing "ith us, do "e. )oneymoons are meant for t"o, not three!" he glanced up and sa" the #itters"eet understanding in his face! "Coming! Bye, Mum!" he gave her mother another parting pec', pic'ed up her #ag from the small ta#le near the door and dashed from the room #efore she did anything stupid li'e cry! "Don't "orry a#out her so much," ,ulian urged as they "al'ed along the corridor and up the narro" stair"ay! " he's tired, that's all! %t's #een a long day!" Carolyn shoo' her head! "*ou're so patient "ith her! o!!!good!" "% love her!" "*es!!!" Carolyn s"allo"ed and tried not to thin' of her mother's "ords "hen ,ulian had first as'ed her to marry him si& months ago! "But %!!!% don't love him! % mean, % li'e him a lot and he's very 'ind, #ut!!!" %sa#el had turned him do"n, #ut ,ulian "as persistent, and Carolyn had to admit that her mother had sincerely "armed to him over the ne&t three months, so much so that, "hen ,ulian had as'ed her again, she had said yes! 0evertheless, Carolyn "as sure that their relationship had not yet #ecome a se&ual one1 a fact "hich "orried her slightly, in the circumstances! "Carolyn!" ,ulian stopped #eside the gang"ay and turned to ta'e her hands in his! )is grey eyes "ere steely as they peered do"n into her o"n fro"ning #lue ones! "Let me give you a #it of advice! *ou're only t"enty(four years old, yet you've spent almost ten years #eing a mother to your o"n mother! And, "hile % admire "hat you've done enormously, it's time you got on "ith your o"n life!

*our mother's my responsi#ility no"! *ou have to let go of the apron strings, cut them or you'll ruin your o"n life, as surely as %sa#el once almost ruined hers "ith her e&aggerated sense of responsi#ility!" Carolyn "as ta'en a#ac' #y this last remar' till she recalled that ,ulian #elieved %sa#el's #rea'do"n had #een due to the stress of raising an illegitimate child on her o"n! Carolyn herself trotted out the same e&cuse "henever one of her friends 2uestioned her mother's odd timidity and vagueness! ,ulian had eventually #een privy to a more detailed version "hen he'd started ta'ing %sa#el out, and he'd #een moved #y the story of the innocent young %sa#el, falling madly in love "ith her history professor at college and vice versa1 of her #ecoming pregnant to this much older professor1 of his a#andoning his childless and unhappy marriage to live "ith %sa#el and a"ait a divorce and his #a#y1 of his dying of a heart attac' #efore either arrived, leaving the devastated nineteen(year(old mother to cope on her o"n, "hich she did very #ravely and valiantly, till suddenly, "hen the child "as fourteen, she'd une&pectedly crac'ed up! %t "as a touching story! And 2uite true! 3p to a point! Carolyn suspected her mother had #y no" convinced herself it "as the total and real truth! And she'd never contradicted her! )o" could she. %sa#el Mac'en4ie had no idea her daughter 'ne" the real reason for her #rea'do"n! And Carolyn had never dared reveal her 'no"ledge for fear of causing a relapse! "But she's fine no"," ,ulian "as insisting! "Much #etter than you give her credit for! $he fact is, you've #een molly(coddling your mother, Carolyn! Doing far too much, ma'ing too many decisions for her!" 5esentment #urned inside Carolyn for a moment! ")o" can you say that after "hat you yourself as'ed me to do earlier in the "ee'. Doesn't that entail my ma'ing more decisions for her." ,ulian sighed! "% agree your mother still has some limitations, #ut my re2uest "as more to 'eep my pro-ect a secret, rather than #ecause %sa#el is incapa#le of ma'ing some simple decisions! % "ant to present a #rand ne" home to her, fully furnished and decorated, as a surprise "hen "e get home! 6erhaps % put it #adly "hen % as'ed you to oversee the finishing touches for me, to veto anything you thought your mother might not li'e! %f % did, %'m sorry! Loo', if you feel it's too much of an imposition on your time!!!" "0o, no," Carolyn cut in, over"helmed #y guilt that ,ulian might thin' her un"illing to help out "hen he'd #een so good to her and her mother! %mpossi#le to e&plain that it "ould ta'e more than a fe" stern "ords to ma'e

her stop "orrying a#out %sa#el! )e hadn't #een around ten years ago "hen she'd had her nervous #rea'do"n! )e'd never "itnessed the sort of "oman she'd #een #eforehand, as compared to after"ards! $he difference had #een staggering! he shuddered inside at the memory, #ut 'ept her face unreada#le! 0o point in "orrying ,ulian at this late stage! "%'d li'e to do it! 5eally," she reassured! $hen smiled! "And you're 2uite right! %'m going to stop fussing over Mum and leave that up to you!" ,ulian #eamed! "7ood!" )e fished t"o #usiness cards out of his -ac'et poc'et and pressed them into her right hand! "0o" here's the names, #usiness addresses and phone num#ers of the architect and interior decorator %'m using! Both of them are going to #e really famous one day, you mar' my "ords! $hey have ad-oining offices in Wollongong and, though they're not actually partners, there's an un"ritten agreement that, if you hire this architect to design a house, you hire this decorator as "ell! )aving met the man, % can understand "hy! )e's a fanatic a#out his houses! Apparently has nightmares over ac2uiring some scatter #rained client "ith lots of money and no taste ruining one of his masterpieces "ith ghastly decor! ")is "ords, not mine," ,ulian added "ith a chuc'le! "Any"ay, since you have e&cellent taste, Carolyn, you shouldn't have any trou#le "ith him! But "atch yourself! )e's in his early thirties and e&tremely good(loo'ing, #ut apparently not into marriage! Or so he implied one day "hen % "as tal'ing a#out the su#-ect! % "ouldn't li'e my stepdaughter getting mi&ed up "ith an inveterate "omani4er! % "ant her finding herself a hus#and, not a lover! Why are you loo'ing so surprised. *ou did tell me you "anted half a do4en children, didn't you." ",ulian," she laughed! "% said one day %'d li'e half a do4en children, not this "ee', or even this year/ And let me assure you that, from the sound of him, your architect is certainly not my type, either for a hus#and or a lover/" "Believe me, love," ,ulian said dryly! "8aughan's every "oman's type!" "0ot mine! % can't stand men "ho!!!" Carolyn #ro'e off, doing a dou#le ta'e "hen the architect's Christian name really san' in! 8aughan. he resisted succum#ing to an irrational #urst of panic! %t "as an unusual name, #ut not that unusual, she reasoned! %t couldn't #e the same 8aughan! %t -ust couldn't!!!could it.

"Don't "orry, you should #e pretty safe," ,ulian prattled on, "since %'m fairly sure our architectural Casanova and the interior decorator have a thing going! Miss 6o"ers is very attractive in an off#eat sort of "ay, and they're very intimate in their manner to"ards each other! But #etter safe than sorry so ma'e sure you put that gorgeous hair of yours #ac' up into its usual plait thing "hen you meet him! And dress li'e you do for the office! $hat creation you've got on today is a definite no(no/" Carolyn glanced do"n at the scarlet crepe sheath she'd "orn for her mother's "edding! %sa#el's choice, not hers! As "as her "earing her "aist length honey( #londe hair loose! "Whatever you say, ,ulian," she agreed lightly, #ut her right hand "as tightly closed around the #usiness cards lying "ithin her palm! One 2uic' loo' and she'd #e a#solutely sure if ,ulian's 8aughan and her 8aughan "ere one and the same! One 2uic' loo'!!! Why, then, "asn't she ta'ing it. $he ans"er "as 2uite simple! he already 'ne" the ghastly truth! $he picture ,ulian "as painting of this particular 8aughan coincided too "ell "ith the picture that "as #urnt indeli#ly in her #rain! As "ell as the t"o men's #oth #eing architects, there could #e no mista'ing the other similarities! $he man's age!!!his magnetic se& appeal!!!his self(centered am#ition!!!his ego!!! Carolyn felt all the #lood #egin to drain from her face! "7o loo'ing li'e the secretary in the Beverly )ill#illies," ,ulian laughed, not noticing her pallor under her ma'e(up! "$hat should do it/ 0o", you're to ring 8aughan's office to ma'e an appointment to see #oth parties this coming "ee'end! $hey're already au fait "ith your role in this and my "ish to 'eep the house a secret from %sa#el! )ere's my petrol card as "ell!!!" )e e&tended a plastic card from his "allet and handed it over as "ell! "$hat car of mine is a real gas(gu44ler, so don't hesitate to use this to fill up! 0o, don't argue "ith me! % insist! %'m the one "ho's as'ing you to travel over fifty miles do"n the south coast every other "ee'end, so %'m the one "ho should provide the transport, free of charge! %t's all ta& deducti#le any"ay!" )e smiled! )o" she managed to smile #ac' remained a mystery to Carolyn! $his "asn't happening! $his couldn't #e happening! 7od, "hat "as she going to do.

0othing at the moment, she realised as ,ulian #ent to 'iss her good#ye! "$han's again," he said! "9eep "ell, and don't "orry a#out your mother!" Don't "orry a#out your mother! Carolyn "as still sha'ing her head over the irony of those "ords as she "atched the liner pull a"ay from the pier and slo"ly ma'e its "ay across ydney har#or to"ards the #ridge! %f the surname on the architect's card in her hand "as the surname she #elieved it "as, she "ould do nothing else #ut "orry a#out her mother over the ne&t t"o months! lo"ly, as though her palm contained a deadly funnel("e# spider, Carolyn lifted her hand and opened the fingers! $he card in 2uestion "as the first on the pile! 6lain "hite, "ith #lac' lettering! %ts "ording "as simple! 8aughan later ( Architect! 0othing too large or too small! Carolyn didn't 'no" "hether to laugh, or cry, or #e sic'! %n the end, she "as simply furious at fate, and stuffed the card in her #ag "ith the others #efore she ripped it into a million pieces! "8aughan later," she muttered aloud through gritted teeth! 8aughan later, "ho ten years ago "as a student in architecture at 3niversity and living in their home as a #oarder during his final year! ydney

8aughan later, nine years younger than her mother #ac' then! Only t"enty( four to her thirty(three! But old enough to ta'e advantage of a "oman alone! Old enough to seduce her, sleep "ith her, ma'e her fall in love "ith him, then tell her it "as 'only se&' to her face and -ust "al' a"ay! 8aughan later!!!the single and sole reason for her mother's #rea'do"n all those years ago! C)A6$:5 $WO Carolyn glanced at her "atch as she drove into Wollongong! 0early ten(forty! )er appointment "ith 8aughan "asn't till eleven, "ith the interior decorator follo"ing at eleven(thirty! Much as she "asn't loo'ing for"ard to meeting 8aughan again, she didn't "ant to #e late! he hadn't actually spo'en to the man himself "hen she'd rung his office earlier in the "ee', his secretary ma'ing #oth appointments for her for this

aturday morning! o he had no idea of her true identity! $he secretary had started calling her Miss $hornton straight a"ay and Carolyn hadn't corrected her mista'e! At the time, she "asn't sure "hy she'd 'ept her real name a secret, #ut she suspected one never gave an enemy any advantage in advance! +or he "as an enemy, she accepted, a #itter taste coming into her mouth! An enemy to her mother's future happiness! Carolyn 'ne" that, "hen ,ulian presented his ne" #ride "ith a designer(#uilt and fully furnished home, %sa#el "as sure to "ant to meet and than' the people responsi#le! Carolyn grimaced as she tried to picture ho" her mother "ould react to meeting 8aughan again, to having the man she'd loved so o#sessively come #ac' into her life! he "ouldn't #e a#le to cope! Of that Carolyn "as sure! % can't let them meet again, she vo"ed fiercely! % "on't/ $he street that housed 8aughan's office appeared on the right "ith Carolyn negotiating the turn across the on(coming traffic "ith great care! $he last thing she "anted "as to prang ,ulian's #eautiful #lue BMW! Actually, she'd have driven her old #om# of a Datsun if she'd thought it "ould ma'e the trip! As it "as, she sighed "ith relief once she slid the car safely into a par'ing spot and turned off the engine! )er "atch sho"ed ten forty(four #y the time she alighted and loc'ed the car then set out to find num#er si&teen! But as she "al'ed s"iftly along, the imminence of her encounter "ith 8aughan #egan sending a thousand nervous flutterings into her stomach, and her earlier steely resolve threatened to desert her! Carolyn ground to a halt and scooped in several steadying #reaths! $ruly, she -ust had to get a grip on herself or ris' ma'ing a hash of this meeting! A cool head "as re2uired! 8aughan "as a successful and professional man no", "ho "asn't going to li'e #eing put on the spot, or having old s'eletons dragged out of the closet! )e certainly "asn't going to appreciate #eing told he had to avoid meeting a client's "ife, even if it meant lying to that client! +or that "as the only "ay Carolyn could thin' of to tac'le the situation, #y virtually thro"ing herself on his mercy! %f the devil had any, that "as/ At least she had a fe" "eapons to fall #ac' on to persuade 8aughan into compliance! 0o dou#t ,ulian hadn't paid him the full #alance of his fat architectural fee for designing the house as yet! $he 8aughan later she 'ne" and despised "ould not do anything to ma'e "aves and lose out on that, Carolyn thought "ith #itter cynicism!

Money meant a great deal to him! )adn't she su#se2uently found out, "hen she'd chec'ed the #an'#oo's after her mother's #rea'do"n, that he had not paid one cent in #oard for the last fe" months he'd stayed in their home. One didn't have to have too much of an imagination to "or' out "hat happened! Once he'd secured his landlady's love through pretending a return of affection "ith some very convincing "ords and lovema'ing, he'd simply not paid any more! $hin'ing a#out this little snippet of damning evidence made Carolyn even more determined not to ta'e any nonsense from this man! )e'd do "hat she as'ed or reap the re"ards of his folly! ,ulian loved %sa#el to distraction! )e "as also a very "ealthy and influential #usinessman around ydney and the south coast, #eing the o"ner and managing director of a large construction company that #uilt shopping centers! Carolyn didn't thin' he'd ta'e too 'indly to finding out the una#ridged and disgusting truth of the "ay his "omani4ing architect had once treated his "ife! Carolyn's #lue eyes dar'ened "ith fury and her teeth clenched do"n hard in her -a"! Ama4ing, she thought! he'd had no idea she possessed such a capacity for hatred and revenge! 6eople al"ays descri#ed her as #eing mild(tempered! he certainly didn't feel mild(tempered "henever she thought of a certain individual! teeling herself again, she "al'ed more confidently along the pavement, loo'ing for the dreaded address! %t "asn't far, a modern three(storeyed steel and glass #uilding "ith huge #luish "indo"s facing the ocean, the 'ind of glass that one could loo' out of #ut couldn't see into from outside! Carolyn too' one last steadying #reath and pushed through the revolving glass doors into a grey mar#led air(conditioned lo##y! $here "as no reception des', only a huge notice #oard on the "all "hich told her her 2uarry resided on the top floor! o did the interior decorator Madeline 6o"ers! uites $hree and +our respectively! A flight of stairs and t"o lifts serviced these upper floors! Carolyn chose the stairs! he still had a fe" minutes to 'ill! Would he recogni4e her straight a"ay. she "ondered as she made her "ay slo"ly up the carpeted staircase!

%t "as possi#le, her #asic features not having changed much over the years! he still "ore her straight hair in a single plait most of the time, though no"adays she "ound it round the top of her head in a coronet! he also never "ore ma'eup during the day, her natural peaches and cream comple&ion and thic'ly lashed #lue eyes holding up 2uite "ell au naturel! )e "ouldn't have changed much, she fancied! Men didn't from their mid( t"enties to early thirties! 3nless, of course, they put on "eight or "ent #ald, "hich she dou#ted he had from ,ulian's description! Carolyn still had a rather vivid mental picture of 8aughan at t"enty(four, despite the intervening years! A strong angular face "ith straight #ro"n #ro"s and deeply set #ro"n eyes1 thic', "avy chestnut hair that al"ays seemed to need a cut1 a sensual(loo'ing mouth that rarely smiled1 and a #ody that had #rought her girlfriends running from miles around, especially "hen he mo"ed the la"n "ith his shirt off! Carolyn cringed as she recalled some of the comments her classmates had made a#out his various physical attri#utes! May#e she'd #een a #it of a prude #ac' then, for she certainly hadn't shared her friends' preoccupation "ith se&! Admittedly, she'd #een a young fourteen at the time, #ut even no" she "asn't impressed #y the type of man "ho flaunted his se&ual e2uipment in overnight clothes, any more than she li'ed girls "ho "ent round half na'ed/ May#e %'m still a prude, came the agitated thought! $"enty(four(year(old virgins aren't e&actly thic' on the ground these days! Carolyn #ecame uncomforta#ly a"are that her forehead had #ro'en out in a fine layer of s"eat! :&tracting a tissue from her #ag, she da##ed herself dry, conceding that perhaps she "as dressed a little too "armly for a hot +e#ruary day, ,ulian's "arning over her dress having induced her to "ear a grey suit that the girls at "or' la#eled the most effective in her 'anti Maurice ,en'ins' armory! Carolyn smiled ruefully at the accuracy of this description, since the suit "as rather shapeless "ith a #la4er(style -ac'et and a pleated s'irt! %t certainly hadn't caught the eye of the aforementioned Dr ,en'ins, an o#stetrician at the private hospital "here Carolyn "or'ed, "ho had steadily seduced every attractive nurse in the place and "as currently directing his attention to"ards the administration staff! Maurice ,en'ins might #e a handsome and successful man, #ut no male "as "elcome in her life on a '-ust se&' #asis1 never had #een and never "ould #e! Which perhaps "as "hy she hadn't had a steady #oyfriend as yet! All men seemed to "ant from a girl these days "as se&! Carolyn resented #eing!

7ood grief, "here "as her mind ta'ing her. $his "as hardly the moment to start analy4ing and defending her attitude to men and se&! he "as here on a mission concerning her mother's future, not her o"n! Carolyn finally reached the top of the stairs "here an arro" indicated that uites $hree and +our "ere along the corridor to the right! 7athering herself, she made sure all the #uttons on her -ac'et "ere done up #efore ma'ing a right(hand turn on the motley #ro"n carpet! 0o sooner had she #egun "al'ing do"n the corridor than a door opened a little "ay along and a tall, #road(shouldered man strode out, s"iftly follo"ed #y a flashy(loo'ing #runette dressed in a purple trouser(suit! "But 8aughan, darling," she "as saying, the name #ringing Carolyn up "ith a -er'! )er startled ga4e snapped #ac' to the man, "ho had spun round to #e half(turned a"ay from her! $his "as the present(day 8aughan later. she gaped! $his conservative male person "ith short #ac' and sides and dressed in a crisp pale #lue shirt and casual cream tailored trousers. Admittedly, the #ac' of the shirt collar "as turned up as though he'd dressed in a hurry, #ut on the "hole he presented a smart, "ell(groomed image!!!a far cry from he #ron4ed, shirtless, #e-eaned figure all her girlfriends had drooled over! ;uite "ithout "arning, he t"isted to glance over his shoulder at her, eyes narro"ing, straight dar' #ro"s #unching into a fro"n! Carolyn steadfastly ignored the "ay her heart started pounding! 0erves, she realised, and steeled herself for the fray! At least his almost sullen e&pression "as still the same, she grum#led to herself! 6ity he'd cut his hair, though! he "ould have li'ed to have more to remind her of the 8aughan of old! But there "asn't much evidence of those once "ild chestnut "aves in the dar', damp( loo'ing, semi(spi'ed hair that covered the top of his head! When he 'ept on staring at her, a #reathless anticipation sei4ed Carolyn! Any second no" the penny "as sure to drop! But it didn't/ Oh, yes, there "as a split second "hen something hovered #ehind his eyes, #ut he lost it, and, shrugging, returned his attention to the #runette! "Anthea," he said in a deep male voice! "% can't tal' to you no"! % have a client due at eleven!!!" $he #runette tossed a glance of her o"n do"n the corridor to "here Carolyn had fro4en on the spot!

"Loo', %'ll ring you later and let you 'no"," he "ent on impatiently! "And turn me do"n, no dou#t," the #runette huffed! "$ruly, 8aughan, "hat have you got against parties. Oh, please do say you'll come this time, darling! %'m only putting it on for you! % "ant to sho" you off to my friends!" Carolyn actually sa" him shudder! "7ood 7od, %'m not one of your pri4ed poodles, you 'no"! As for the cro"d you mi& "ith #eing your friends huh/ $hey're more your hus#and's friends than yours, dear heart," he finished "ith a snort! ":specially the "omen!" $he "oman laughed and made the tellingly intimate gesture of straightening his collar! "$rue," she murmured, and traced a fingernail along his -a"line! "$hat's -ust the point! % "ant all those #itches to see "hat %'ve finally snared for myself! $hey'll #e as -ealous as sin!" Carolyn's "hole insides contracted "ith distaste! )e hadn't changed! 0ot one iota! he'd had a fleeting "orry the other night that she might have mis-udged the situation "ith her mother! But no!!!he "as going along in his usual despica#le fashion! At least no" he "asn't seducing lonely, vulnera#le single "omen! )e'd moved on to tac'y, "ealthy married ones! $hough if "hat ,ulian suspected "as right, this Anthea "as not the only string to his se&ual #o"! $here "as the interior decorator as "ell! My, #ut he "as a #usy #oy/ )er lips curled "ith contempt as she "al'ed right up to them! "Mr! later." she said archly! )is companion loo'ed irritated at #eing interrupted! 8aughan turned and stared hard at her again, as though still trying to place her! Once more his memory failed him, sho"n #y a flic'er of frustration in his e&pressive #ro"n eyes! *ou'll 'no" "ho % am soon enough, she thought tartly! $hen you'll "ish you didn't, you immoral #astard/ "*es." he said, a faint fro"n remaining on his undenia#ly handsome face! Carolyn "as rather startled at finding herself admitting to this! When she "as fourteen, she'd never thought him all that handsome! Attractive, yes! But only in a se&ily #rooding fashion! :ither his facial features had matured favora#ly in the intervening years, or she'd changed her ideas on "hat "as handsome and "hat "as not! he certainly couldn't find any fault in the "ay his face "as assem#led, from his "ide clear forehead to his strong straight nose to his

classically chiseled -a"line! )is eyes, she conceded, had al"ays held some appeal, #ut she "as pertur#ed to find her o"n loc'ing "ith those rich #ro"n depths for an uncomforta#le period of time! "%'m ,ulian $hornton's stepdaughter," she said some"hat stiffly at last! "% #elieve you're e&pecting me." )e glanced at his "atch "hich sho"ed right on eleven! As he raised his eyes, Carolyn "as su#-ected to a fleeting #ut decidedly dismissive se&ual scrutiny! "%'ll #e "ith you in a fe" minutes, Miss $hornton," he said coolly! "%f you'll -ust go into my office, my secretary "ill sho" you a seat!" 6i2ued at #eing made to "ait!!!or "as it #ecause he'd found her not "orth a second glance. Carolyn s"ept on into uite $hree, her face #urning! What on earth "as "rong "ith her. +ancy even caring "hat he thought of her loo's/ o he "as drop(dead handsome! o "hat. )andsome is as handsome does, she #elieved! And she 'ne" e&actly "hat Mr! Casanova later did "ith the "omen in his life/ $he middle(aged lady #ehind the reception des' loo'ed up "ith a ready smile! "Miss $hornton." Carolyn's returning smile felt decidedly false "ithin her flushed chee's! "Mr! later said for you to sho" me into his office! )e'll #e -oining me shortly! )e's -ust saying good#ye to his!!!er!!!" he #it her #ottom lip, a"are she'd #een a#out to ma'e an uncharacteristically catty remar'! "% didn't 2uite catch the lady's name," she finished lamely! "Mrs! Ma&"ell," the secretary supplied, and stood up! " he's one of Mr! later's #est clients!" Oh, ho" typical, Carolyn thought, and almost laughed! Well he certainly hadn't lost his touch "hen it came to seducing the right "omen, the ones "ho "ere to his financial advantage! "Are you sure Mr! later said you "ere to "ait for him in his office, Miss $hornton." the secretary in2uired on a pu44led note! Carolyn #lin'ed her confusion! "*es!!!%!!!%'m certain that's "hat he said!" $he "oman shrugged resignedly! "8ery "ell, #ut % must "arn you not to touch anything! Oh, and!!!er!!!don't mind the mess! Mr! later "as "or'ing most of the night on a ne" pro-ect, and "hen he does that he's inclined to #e!!!um!!!untidy! )e "ent home a short "hile #ac' to sho"er and change and

"as a#out to clear everything a"ay in readiness for your visit "hen Mrs! Ma&"ell arrived une&pectedly! )e hasn't had time since!" % can imagine, came the caustic thought! "% don't mind a little mess," Carolyn lied! :ven so, "hen she "as sho"n into the room, she "as shoc'ed into a "ide( eyed silence! 6apers and s'etches and plans covered every availa#le surface, "hich included several des's and ca#inets, not to mention every chair and sections of the floor! One of the corners contained a pile of scre"ed(up paper! everal empty coffee mugs seemed to #e #eing used as paper"eights at strategic points! $he litter from a couple of visits to McDonald's "as sitting on an old plastic chair #eside the main des'! $he secretary pic'ed this latter up "ith a disapproving 'tch(tch'! "$ruly, it's a "onder that man doesn't have a "eight pro#lem," she muttered! "$he ru##ish he stuffs into himself! *ou'll have to sit here," she added "ith an apologetic grimace, and indicated the no" empty plastic chair! "% don't dare touch any of the rest of it! %t might cost me my -o# if % distur# any of Mr! later's papers!" <<<<< Carolyn, "ho "as the neatest, most organi4ed person #oth at "or' and at home, could only sin' do"n into the seat and stare at the sham#les in #e( "ilderment! $he "hole place "as made to loo' "orse #y the clarity and peace of the panoramic vie" provided #y the "all of glass #eyond it! Carolyn stared out at the crystalline #lue "aters of the 6acific Ocean and the perfection of clean "hite sands, then #ac' at the littered room, sha'ing her head in ama4ement! "But ho" can he "or' in this mess." she as'ed! "8ery "ell indeed," the man himself ground out, ma'ing Carolyn flinch as he came in "ith aggressive strides! "Why on earth did you #ring her in here, 0ora. *ou 'no" %!!!" "%t's my fault," Carolyn #ro'e in hurriedly, #ringing a loo' of relief to the secretary's instantly stric'en face! "*ou told me to "ait for you in your office and % naturally assumed!!!" )er voice died "hen she noticed he "as fro"ning at her again! After several e&cruciating seconds, he tore his eyes a"ay and thre" his secretary a "ith( ering loo'! "0ever #ring anyone in here unless %'m present, 0ora," he snapped! "Do % ma'e myself clear." $he secretary practically 2uivered in her sensi#le #rogues! "*es, Mr! later," she said, and fled! " he's fairly ne"," he muttered once she'd closed the door! "Doesn't 'no" the ropes yet!"

May#e you should give her one to hang herself "ith, Carolyn thought crossly, infuriated at the "ay he'd spo'en to the poor "oman! )e strode round #ehind his des' and #egan shuffling the papers on it into a still untidy #undle! All of a sudden he sighed and loo'ed up, shoc'ing Carolyn "hen an ama4ingly engaging smile spread across his previously sco"ling face! "% guess % "as a #it rough on the old dear," he said "ith a rueful chuc'le! "Do you thin' she'll 2uit on me." 0ot if you smile at her li'e that every once in a "hile came her treacherous and shattering thought! Carolyn's stomach fluttered then tightened, the implications of "hich did not escape her! "% have no idea," she said stiffly, "anting to loo' a"ay #ut una#le to! %'m physically attracted to him, she "as thin'ing "ith appalled horror! )e nodded, his smile turning "ry! "%t's -ust that on one occasion % had a "hole month's "or' ruined #y having something spilt on them! $hen a previous secretary of mine let a slic' smooth(tal'ing salesman type come in to supposedly "ait for me, and "hile he "as in here he photographed a "hole heap of my house plans and sold them to some very unscrupulous #uilders!" ")o" very upsetting for you," Carolyn said "ith a #etraying lac' of sympathy! )is 2uite #eautiful #ro"n eyes narro"ed percepti#ly! "$ell me, Miss $hornton, % get the feeling "e've met #efore! Am % right." Carolyn s"allo"ed the enormous lump that "as filling her throat! "*es," she said simply, merely #ecause she "as incapa#le of ela#oration at that point in time! "% thought so!" A #rief loo' of satisfaction passed over his face #efore it turned into a fro"n! "*et the name $hornton means nothing to me! *our father is the first $hornton %'ve ever met!" " tepfather," she corrected in a strangled tone! "My name isn't $hornton!" "Aah, yes!!!My mista'e! But!!!"asn't Miss $hornton the name you gave 0ora." 6u44led #ro"n eyes narro"ed some more and a small shiver ran through her! )e "al'ed round the des' and cleared a spot on the edge, perching there #arely an arm's length from her! )e put an el#o" on one 'nee and leant for"ard, chin resting in his hand! %t #rought his face much closer to hers!

uddenly, her eyes "ere on his mouth and she #egan thin'ing ho" sensually full his #ottom lip "as! "Care to e&plain the reason for the deception." he pro#ed softly! )er eyes must have revealed something of her inner turmoil, or perhaps it "as the "ay she physically shran' #ac' into the chair to remove herself from his suffocating nearness, for he stiffened and straightened, his e&pression "orried no"! "%'m not going to li'e your reason, am %." he announced "ith dry intuition! "0o," she rasped! "Out "ith it, then," he said #rus2uely, sliding off the des' and returning to stand #ehind his des', hands on hips! "% li'e to ta'e #ad medicine in 2uic' doses!" "8ery "ell!" he had herself under control again no", disgust at her se&ual response to this man finding inner steel "ith a vengeance! )o" could you. her conscience 'ept screaming at her! )o" could you. "My name's Mac'en4ie," she said "ith an icily controlled fury! "Carolyn Mac'en4ie!!!%f you don't remem#er me, %'m sure you must remem#er my mother! )er name's %sa#el Mac'en4ie, though it changed last $hursday to %sa#el $hornton!" C)A6$:5 $)5:: %f she'd #een e&pecting him to #lush guiltily, or sho" shoc', she "ould have #een #itterly disappointed! As it "as, Carolyn did e&pect a little more reaction than she got! )e merely 'ept loo'ing at her for a fe" seconds, that faint fro"n #ac' on his face! $hen he #ent to scoop his chair under his 'nees, sin'ing into it "ith a sigh! "A"'"ard," he murmured, ru##ing his chin thoughtfully! "%s that all you've got to say." she flung at him in simmering outrage! ",ust a"'"ard." )e eyed her closely till she shifted uncomforta#ly in her chair! "What else "ould you li'e me to say." he dragged in a deep #reath and too' the plunge! "%'m not going to #eat around the #ush, 8aughan! % 'no" "hat really happened #et"een you and Mum! 0ot that Mum told me! he never spea's of that time in her life any

more! But % sa" you #oth!!!together!!!the night #efore you left! % came home early from #allet rehearsals #ecause there "as a #om# scare in the hall! *ou "ere!!!" he gulped, then raced on, her voice a fe" deci#els higher! "Well, let's -ust say neither of you noticed me standing in the door"ay of the living room! % left again in a hurry! % also overheard part of the argument you had "ith Mum the ne&t day after she told you she loved you! 0o, please don't say anything! % don't "ish to discuss the past or to apportion #lame or pass -udgements! But you must appreciate that % don't "ant you seeing my mother again, under any circumstances! % "ant your "ord that "hen ,ulian and my mother come #ac' from their trip in t"o months' time you'll avoid meeting her at all costs, #ecause %!!!" "Oh don't #e so #loody melodramatic/" he cut in forci#ly! "$his all happened ten years ago, for 7od's sa'e! An eternity/ %'m not going to do any such thing as run and hide from %sa#el! O9, so % agree our first meeting might #e a little em#arrassing, #ut let's not ma'e a mountain out of a molehill!" Carolyn could only sit and stare at him! "Why are you loo'ing at me li'e that." he demanded impatiently! "%s there something here % don't 'no"." %t finally da"ned on her that he -ust didn't feel any guilt at all over her mother! $o him, having love affairs "as as natural as #reathing! Women came and "omen "ent! Clearly he never lost a night's sleep over their demise and he e&pected them to #e the same! 8aughan later "as on a different moral "avelength from her and nothing "ould ever change that! But she had to try to ma'e him see her point of vie"! "My mother loved you," she said sha'ily! "0o," he denied! " he didn't!" Carolyn's frustration "as acute! ")o" can you say that." 7ood 7od, she had heard her mother 2uite clearly, telling the "retched creature, #egging him not to leave her! )er #ro'en voice had torn Carolyn so much that she had run a"ay and hidden in her #edroom, not coming out till she'd heard 8aughan leave a couple of hours later! "Because it's true," he insisted harshly! "And your mother damn "ell 'ne" it too! he "anted se&, that's all, then after"ards she tried calling it love to soothe her conscience!"

")er conscience/" "$hat's right! %f you thin' it "as me "ho "as doing the seducing, then thin' again, my girl!" "But!!!#ut!!!" )er confusion "as total, her shoc' shattering! +or there "as an undenia#le ring of truth in this callous man's hard voice! Besides, "hy should he lie. What reason could he have. )er distressed eyes dropped to the floor and she shoo' her head in anguished #e"ilderment! "Carolyn, loo' at me!!!" )is voice "as so une&pectedly gentle that she "as impelled to loo' up, only to #e lanced #y a loo' of such incredi#le "armth and apology that she "as stunned! )is regretful ga4e "ashed over her, totally defusing her anger, ma'ing her melt inside! 6anic clutched at her stomach! Dear heaven!!!she "ould have to #e very very careful "ith this man! "% shouldn't have said that 2uite so #luntly," he murmured! "%'m sorry! Loo', your mother "as a lovely "oman! 8ery lovely! But very, very lonely! he needed a man in her life! % "as -ust!!!there! % never led her on and % never told her % loved her! he came to me, not the other "ay around! % don't #lame her and neither should you!" "% don't," she #it out, sha'ing inside "ith indignation! "Loo', % don't 'no" if you're telling the truth or not a#out "ho started "hat, #ut you're lying a#out not having told Mum you loved her! *ou did! % 'no" that for a fact/" An electric silence descended on the pair of them "ith her vehement accusation! "$hen % suggest you chec' your facts," he said at last in a lo", tightly controlled voice! "%f your mother thought % loved her then it "as all in her mind, certainly not #ecause of anything % ever said or did! % "ould 2uite "illingly s"ear to that on a stac' of #i#les/" )er #elief in his treachery "avered under this intense denial! Could he #e telling the truth a#out everything. )ad her mother's mind already #een affected so much that she'd started imagining he'd said "ords he hadn't. Carolyn supposed it "as possi#le, given the o#sessive nature of her mother's feelings for him! What "as the truth. lonely!!!frustrated! she agoni4ed! )e claimed %sa#el had #een

Carolyn supposed that could have #een true! +or not in all her gro"ing(up years could she recall her mother going out "ith a man, or having a man in the house! %sa#el had al"ays insisted she'd loved Carolyn's father far too much to ever loo' at another man! As an innocent child, she had accepted this as a "onderful, romantic concept! 0o" she could see that such loyalty to a dead man must have #een hard on a normal healthy "oman in the prime of her life! But none of that changed the fact that her mother had #elieved 8aughan loved her! 0o one could dou#t that if they'd heard her piteous ravings that day! Besides, it "as the only reason that made sense of her #rea'do"n! %sa#el had #een a strong "oman, not a dreamer! o "hy had she #elieved 8aughan loved her if he'd not actually said so. Carolyn lifted her pale face to stare at him across the des'! $he ans"ers had to lie in this man's se&ual po"er and pro"ess, in his a#ility to #e"itch "omen and ma'e them mad for him "ithout having to say the "ords "omen al"ays "anted to hear! % love you!!!% love you! $he "ords seemed to ring aloud inside her head again and again and she "anted to clasp her hands over her ears to stop them! As it "as, the #lood drained from her face as an appalling thought hit her! What if he #e"itches me too. What if!!!. "*ou loo' upset, Carolyn," he said a#ruptly, and stood up! "%'ll get 0ora to ma'e us #oth a cup of coffee! $hen "e'll try to sort this out, come to a compromise that "ill ease your mind! 6erhaps % could telephone your mother "hen she gets #ac' and!!!" "Don't you dare/" she #urst out, so savagely that he sat do"n again, loo'ing stunned! "*ou!!!you don't understand," she added, her voice trem#ling! Oh this "as dreadful! imply dreadful! he had to get a hold of herself! "$hen perhaps you could enlighten me." he as'ed 2uietly! "%!!!my mother had a nervous #rea'do"n," she #lurted out! "$he day after you left! )er doctor put her in a hospital for a "hile! :ven "hen she "as allo"ed out, she too' a long time to get #etter! %n fact she's still very!!!fragile!" 8aughan "as loo'ing at her as though she "ere mad! "%sa#el had a nervous #rea'do"n. %sa#el. Over me."

"*es!" "% don't #elieve it/" "%t's only too true," she insisted "retchedly, thin'ing that she "ould never forget the pitiful scene she'd encountered soon after 8aughan had left! he'd found her mother curled up in a little #all in a corner of the 'itchen, tal'ing to herself, totally una"are of Carolyn's presence! ")e s"ore he really loved me," she'd raved over and over! "Why else did he thin' % started sleeping "ith him, even though % 'ne" it "as "rong. And "hat did he do in the end. $old me it "as only se&, said he "as leaving me! All lies!!!0othing #ut lies!!!Lies, lies, lies/ % can't #ear it any more!!!% can't/" And she hadn't #een a#le to #ear it! $he rantings had finally dissolved into tears and she hadn't #een a#le to stop! 3ncontrolla#le hysterical tears! 5ac'ing her! $earing her apart! %n tears herself, Carolyn had rung their local doctor and the nightmare had #egun!!!5emem#ering "hat had really happened #rought fresh dou#ts! Could 8aughan #e still lying. )ad he, in fact, #oth seduced %sa#el and told her he loved her. he only had his "ord for it that he hadn't! Carolyn lifted her eyes to those seemingly sincere #ro"n ones and didn't 'no" "hat to #elieve any more! "6erhaps some of it "as in her mind," she conceded in confusion! "$he #it a#out you having said you loved her! But she #elieved it enough to crac' up over your leaving! $en years ago or not, % don't intend ris'ing my mother's mental health #y your seeing her again! %f you've got a shred of decency in you, 8aughan, you'll 'eep as far a"ay from her as you can!" )e said nothing for several seconds, his face undenia#ly distur#ed! "% can't say % appreciate the "ay you put that, #ut in the circumstances % suppose %'ll have to do as you as'!" )e ru##ed his chin again in "hat "as o#viously an ha#itual e&pression of agitation! ")ell!!!it's all so damned incredi#le! % still can't ta'e it in! %sa#el "as al"ays such a together lady! % admit % "as ta'en a#ac' "hen she started saying she loved me that day! But % tal'ed to her a#out it and she seemed to agree "ith me in the end that it "as only a physical thing that had unfortunately got out of hand! % thought it "as a mutual decision that % leave straight a"ay! % "ould have #een leaving in another "ee' or so any"ay, since %'d finished my e&ams the day #efore! he must have #een only pretending she didn't mind! he "as rather unusually 2uiet!!!

"6oor %sa#el," he sighed, grimacing #efore loo'ing up again! "And poor little Carolyn!!!% 'no" you didn't have any family in ydney! )o" on earth did you cope." "% managed," she said, her suscepti#ility to this une&pectedly sympathetic 8aughan ma'ing her curt! But he'd certainly #een very convincing "ith his version of the story! "But "here did you go. What did you do." "After Mum came out of hospital a cousin let us live "ith him for a couple of years on his farm in the country! But he couldn't let us stay forever! $hings "ere very #ad for farmers at the time, "hat "ith the recent floods and the economy! When his "ife #ecame pregnant "ith her fourth child, % too' Mum #ac' to ydney to live! he had an invalid pension and % left school and got a -o#!" "But you must have #een only a#out si&teen/" )e seemed appalled! "7ood 7od, Carolyn, you "ere al"ays such a #right 'id! *ou should have finished school and gone to college/ Damn it, if only %'d 'no"n! 6erhaps % could have done something!" What. she thought #itterly! 6aid us #ac' the #oard money. "We managed perfectly "ell, than' you," she retorted, not "anting this man's pity, or anything else/ "% have a very good -o# no"! %'ve never regretted not going to college! %'m happy and Mum's happy! % -ust "ant to ma'e sure things stay that "ay!" he glared at him, #ut do"n deep in her heart Carolyn suspected that already her o"n happiness "as on the line! he'd #een attracted to 2uite a fe" men since gro"ing up! But never had she e&perienced the sort of inner upheaval she felt "henever 8aughan loo'ed at her! ")ave you considered the possi#ility," he said finally, "that ,ulian might mention my name to %sa#el." Carolyn dragged in a deep steadying #reath! ")e "on't mention you to her till after he's presented her "ith the house, since he "ants it to #e a surprise! % should #e a#le to get him alone #efore then and ma'e up some plausi#le story a#out you "ithout going into too much detail! *ou leave that up to me!"

"8ery "ell, though % don't really agree "ith you! % thin' the open and honest approach "ould #e #est! *our mother must #e "ell and truly over me #y no"! After all, she's -ust married another man!" But she doesn't love him, Carolyn "as reminded! %f she sees you again, especially as you are today, so handsome, so successful, so damned se&y!!!all those old futile desires could #e revived! %t "ouldn't ta'e much to tip the more fragile %sa#el over the edge again! "6lease allo" me to #e the #est -udge of that," Carolyn said stiffly! "8ery "ell," he replied -ust as stiffly! "But that particular pro#lem's t"o months a"ay! 5ight no" % "ould li'e to address a more immediate pro#lem! ,ulian's house!" "Oh. %s there a pro#lem "ith it." )is eyes narro"ed as they traveled over her tensely held #ody! "0ot unless you give me one! Are you going to." )e 'ept "atching her almost "arily and Carolyn "ondered "hat he "as getting at! "% have no idea," she hedged! "% haven't seen it yet!" "% dou#t that'll ma'e a damned #it of difference," he muttered, confusing her all the more! "Well. When do you "ant to see it. $his afternoon some time." A 2uic' glance at her "atch sho"ed eleven t"enty(eight! "% have a half(hour appointment to see Miss 6o"ers at eleven(thirty," she stated, hoping a #usinessli'e manner "ould hide the emotional distress this encounter had evo'ed! "6erhaps the three of us could go and see the house together after that! Do you thin' that "ould #e possi#le." 8aughan shoo' his head! "3nfortunately Maddie has another client at t"elve "hom she can't put off and "ho'll ta'e at least an hour! % tell you "hat! After you've finished "ith her %'ll ta'e you to lunch, then the three of us can meet up at the house around t"o!" Carolyn only -ust managed to control the loo' of horror that threatened to spread across her face! he didn't "ant to do anything as intimate as have lunch "ith him! Bad enough to have to put up "ith the occasional conducted tour around the house over the ne&t couple of months! "$han' you for the offer," she said crisply, "#ut %'m afraid %'m not very hungry!" he stood up! "6erhaps you could drop me off at the house and % can have a loo' around #y myself "hile you go and have lunch!"

$his suggestion #rought a sharp glance! 8aughan stood up slo"ly, his eyes remaining hard as he came round the des' to -oin her! "% couldn't do that! $he place is a #it rough and you might hurt yourself! Loo', there's no point in your avoiding my company, Carolyn! %t's rather silly and school girlish!" )er #lue eyes flashed "ith automatic pi2ue! %f there "as anything she "asn't, it "as silly and school girlish! My 7od, she'd had to assume the mantle of adulthood from a very early age, #ypassing the life of a normal teenager, never having the sort of mindless fun adolescent girls indulged in! And all #ecause of this man and his compulsion to #ed every "oman "ho came across his path! )er mother!!!Madeline 6o"ers!!!Anthea Ma&"ell!!!And ho" many countless others. ,ust as "ell that she had un"ittingly ta'en ,ustin's advice and made herself as unattractive as possi#le, other"ise he might even no" #e attempting to seduce her/ 7iven this un"anted though undenia#le se&ual attraction she "as feeling for him, "ho 'ne" "hat disaster might have come of it. "% "asn't avoiding your company," she lied frostily! )is sardonic smile sho"ed he didn't #elieve her for a moment! "%n that case you can come "ith me and nurse a drin' "hile % eat!" Before she could stop him he too' her el#o" and #egan to usher her from the room! "*ou can tell me all a#out "hat you're doing these days! Oddly enough, %'ve often thought of you over the years," came the "ry remar'! ")ard to dismiss the pretty #lue(eyed little thing "ho used to glare at me "ith such o#vious disapproval! omething "hich hasn't changed much, has it." he added dryly "hen she pulled a"ay from him at the door! "*ou still thin' %'m some 'ind of ogre!" "0ot at all," she returned "ith admira#le coolness! "% don't thin' of you as anything any more! *ou're -ust my stepfather's architect!" "%s that so." )is ga4e turned hard as it loc'ed "ith hers! "And ho" should % thin' of you, Carolyn. As my client's stepdaughter, here to help finish his house to everyone's satisfaction. Or as a female har#oring an irrational grudge against me and "ho might #e thin'ing of sa#otaging my "or' out of revenge." he gasped "ith true shoc'! "% thin' any suspicion on my part is "ell "arranted," he "ent on coldly! "After all, you did give a false name to my secretary, then you "angled your "ay

into my office! %f % hadn't come in "hen % did, you "ould have #een left alone "ith my plans to do 7od 'no"s "hat to them! And -ust no", you seemed eager to #e left alone at the house! % "onder "hat might have #een missing or damaged "hen % returned." )er eyes "idened even more! "% "ould never do such a lo" thing/" she protested, trying not to color guiltily over her earlier vengeful thoughts! "0ever/ % have a high regard for achievement and hard "or', regardless of "hat my opinion is of the person #ehind them!" "And "hat is that, if you don't mind my as'ing." "Well, %!!!%!!!" "7o on, tell me e&actly "hat you have against me, e&cept a #it of ancient history that "as hardly my fault, regardless of the conse2uences!" )e folded his arms and glared at her! "Well. )aven't you anything to say. Don't you thin' % deserve an e&planation for this e&aggerated hostility." Carolyn's mind "as going round and round! All she could thin' of "as that fury #ecame him, ma'ing him dra" his #ody up tall and straight and proud, ma'ing his eyes dar'en and flash "ith a "ic'ed appeal, his -a" -utting strongly for"ard, highlighting the splendid #ones in his face! Only later did she remem#er that she could have thro"n his relationship "ith Anthea Ma&"ell in his face! Mrs! Ma&"ell "as, after all, a married "oman, unli'e Miss 6o"ers "ho "as clearly single! But at the time, she merely #lushed furiously, giving him a dangerous glimpse of her vulnera#ility! "%!!!% don't 'no"," she said sha'ily, #efore pulling herself together and lifting an e2ually proud chin! "*ou seem to #ring out the "orst in me! *ou al"ays have done! % -ust don't li'e you, 8aughan! %'m sorry, #ut that's the truth!" )er #lunt remar's surprised him! $hey rather surprised her too! But after the surprise came self(satisfaction! At least %'m ta'ing this ridiculous attraction #y the scruff of the nec' and 'illing its chances of going any"here stone dead! 0othing puts a man off more than saying you don't li'e him! 0ot that % really needed to put him off, she thought "ith a certain irony! )e hasn't sho"n one ounce of interest in me in a se&ual sense! ;uite understanda#le, loo'ing as % do today!

"Well, %'m sorry a#out that too," he returned #rus2uely! "% al"ays rather li'ed you! :ven as a child you had character! *ou "eren't a dither headed little nincompoop li'e most of your girlfriends!" "Oh. *ou mean #ecause % didn't drool over the gorgeous 8aughan later." she said acidly #efore she could #ite the "ords #ac'! )is eyes narro"ed slightly and Carolyn hoped she hadn't -ust made a #ig mista'e! $oo much hostility "as more revealing than none at all! With a supreme effort she dragged up a covering smile! " ee." she laughed dryly! "*ou're still #ringing out the "orst in me! %'m not usually such a #itch!" $hose thoughtful eyes traveled over her so intently that her arms #ro'e out in goose(#umps under her -ac'et sleeves! "0o," he said slo"ly! "% "ouldn't have thought you "ere! +ran'ly, % thin' that if you could put aside this irrational antagonism of yours you'd pro#a#ly turn into 2uite the nicest, most sincere person %'ve ever met!" )er stomach clenched do"n hard! +irst sympathy, and no" flattery! Oh, he had all the #est "eapons "here "omen "ere concerned, didn't he. $han' 7od he didn't seem to fancy her or she'd #e in real danger! "*ou 'no" it "ill #e hard "or'ing together, if you're going to #e glaring and sniping at me all the time," he "ent on 2uite reasona#ly! "Do you thin', for the house's sa'e, you could put your disli'e of me on hold for t"o months. Or is that too long for you to control your!!!er!!!feelings." Carolyn s"allo"ed! he certainly hoped not! "% thin' % could -ust a#out manage t"o months!" )e laughed! "7ood lord, you don't pull any punches do you. But "ho 'no"s. Once you get to 'no" me #etter, you might find %'m not 2uite the heartless cad you've o#viously #elieved % "as all these years!" % dou#t that very much, she thought "ith private irony! 8aughan's mouth curved #ac' into a rueful smile as he surveyed her unrelenting face! "Come on! Maddie "ill #e "ondering "here you are!" And "ith that he too' her el#o" again, opened the door, and marched her from the room! he "as -er'ed to a halt in front of the secretary's des'!

"%'m "al'ing Carolyn here along to Maddie's office, 0ora," 8aughan pronounced! "%'ll #e #ac' in five minutes and you'll #e a#le to go home! $he #ig #ad ogre is giving you an early mar' for putting up "ith his rudeness!" "Oh, Mr! later," the "oman simpered in return! "*ou're never really rude!" )is chuc'le "as dry! "$hat's an opinion not shared #y several #uilding contractors % 'no"!" " ome of them deserve a #last," the secretary defended loyally! "We had all sorts of trou#le "ith the plum#ers at ,ulian's house," 8aughan confessed as they made their "ay along to uite +our, that insidious male hand still glued to her arm! "Most of the time they -ust didn't turn up "hen they said they "ould! %t's no "onder one can't get a house #uilt in the time scheduled if the tradesmen don't even ma'e an appearance some days!" "But "hat e&cuse do they give." Carolyn as'ed, curious, despite her discomfort! he "as still sha'ing inside from their highly strung encounter, and 2uite rattled #y her une&pected response to her once vo"ed enemy! %f only he "ouldn't 'eep on touching her!!! 8aughan shrugged his #road shoulders in reply! "Occasionally the "eather! %t "as either too hot or too cold or too "et, "hich "as cra4y since the "alls and roof "ere intact at the time! Mostly they -ust said they hadn't finished the previous -o#, #ut "hen % contacted the pro-ect in 2uestion % found out that hadn't #een finished #ecause they consistently hadn't turned up there either/ %t's a vicious circle of apathy and la4iness! 0o "onder this country's #uilding industry is in a mess/" "*ou really care a#out your "or', don't you." she remar'ed! )is side "ards glance "as pu44led! "*ou sound surprised! Oh, % see!!!" )is eyes dar'ened, flashing "ith anger! "%'m a man "ithout conscience, "ithout!!!"hat "as it. Without a shred of decency!" )e made a dry, scoffing sound! "As a man "ithout morals, %'m not supposed to have any integrity, even regarding my "or', am %. Might % remind you, Carolyn," he added caustically, "that some of the most immoral men in history have #een high achievers! Loo' at 0apoleon or )itler/" he flinched under his out#urst! "% "ould hardly put you in the same category as )itler!" )is laughter did not sound amused! )e reached out to the door'no# of uite +our and lanced her "ith a cynical loo'! "Methin's our temporary truce is

already fraying at the edges, #ut % suggest "e regroup our defenses for Maddie! We don't "ant her as'ing any a"'"ard 2uestions, do "e." "Certainly not!" " mile, then, Carolyn! We're a#out to put your acting a#ility to the supreme test! Maddie has the most devilish female intuition that sees all, hears all and 'no"s all, if given half a chance! he "ill not #e fooled e&cept #y a most convincing performance! )o" are you at acting." "8ery good, actually," she returned "ith a measure of #lac' humor! And gave him an Academy A"ard("inning smile! %f she "eren't a good actress, he'd already 'no" she found him the most distur#ingly attractive man she'd ever met! ":&cellent! And % presume you "ant to pretend "e've -ust met for the first time." "Definitely!" "% thought as much," he muttered, and "ith a savage t"ist of his hand flung the door to uite +our open and "aved her inside! C)A6$:5 +O35 "Maddie, s"eetheart," he called out once they "ere in the conspicuously empty reception area, "in "hich one of your rooms are you hiding." A door on the left opened and the most stri'ing loo'ing "oman Carolyn had ever seen appeared! he "as very tall almost as tall as 8aughan and very slim, "ith the "hitest of "hite s'in! *et everything else a#out her "as #lac'! Blac' hair, long and curly, #undled up in a most irregular pony tail! Blac' eyes, flashing at the moment "ith apparent e&asperation! Blac' eye#ro"s, thic' and sardonically arched! 'in(tight #lac' mini dress, #lac' lacy stoc'ings and #lac' high heels! Only her earrings "ere colored, huge discs in red, pin' and orange hanging in interloc'ing circles from her lo#es to her shoulders! "*ou're late again/" she accused, giving 8aughan a #lac' loo' from those stri'ing #lac' eyes! Carolyn tensed! "Only #y a fe" minutes," 8aughan said, and smiled "ryly! " omething not going right for you, s"eetheart." )e strode for"ard and gave the "oman a #ear(hug! "*ou al"ays get testy li'e this "hen your colors aren't #lending properly!"

"Don't thin you can get around me that easily, you #ad man," the interior decorator scorned, #ut didn't retreat from the hug! " ave it all for your lady( loves!" And suddenly she "in'ed at Carolyn over his shoulder! )er heart gave a little -ump! Did that mean 8aughan "asn't sleeping "ith this "oman. Dismay "as hot on the heels of her avid curiosity! What did it matter "ho he "as sleeping "ith these days. %t should mean nothing to her! 0othing/ elf(disgust must have sent a hard loo' into her face, for those #lac' eyes!!!"hich a second #efore had "in'ed at her!!!a#ruptly changed from an e&pression of amusement to a surprised thoughtfulness! $heir o"ner dre" #ac' from 8aughan's em#race to cast a sharp loo' his "ay! "*ou haven't #een #ullying this s"eet girl, have you." she as'ed! "0o! Only 0ora!" "Oh, 8aughan! $ruly. $he poor "oman!!!" "6oor, my foot! % pay her damn "ell to sit there and ans"er the telephone! Any"ay it's all smoothed over no"! Carolyn glared at me reproachfully and made me feel guilty, didn't you." )e thre" an ironic loo' her "ay! "And it's not Carolyn $hornton, #y the "ay! )er surname is Mac'en4ie! he hasn't ta'en ,ulian's name!" "5eally. But % thought!!!" " o did %! eems 0ora -ust -umped to that conclusion! Any"ay, it's Carolyn Mac'en4ie! Carolyn!!!come over here and meet Maddie!" Carolyn "al'ed for"ard and e&tended her hand! ")o" do you do." Maddie smiled and too' her hand, all the "hile those penetrating #lac' eyes surveying her closely, seemingly stripping her of her disguising clothes and ma'ing Carolyn feel most peculiarly na'ed! he had never had a "oman loo' at her li'e that #efore and a most uncomforta#le suspicion sprang into her mind! "My, you're a very sensual(loo'ing girl, aren't you." the other "oman said! "%'d love to paint you! %n the nude, prefera#ly!" Carolyn tried not to cho'e on the spot! "+or 7od's sa'e, Maddie/" 8aughan e&ploded "ith ill(concealed e&asperation! "What "ill she start thin'ing if you say things li'e that "ithout e&plaining yourself. Maddie's a "ell('no"n portrait artist, Carolyn," he ela#orated

"earily, "speciali4ing in nudes and semi(nudes! he's #een commissioned to do some 2uite famous "omen! And men! Believe me "hen % say she prefers painting the men to the "omen," he finished in a dry tone! "0o" you ma'e me sound promiscuous/" Maddie "ailed, #ut "ithout seeming at all put out! "%f the cap fits!!!" "Well, if that isn't the pot calling the 'ettle #lac'," she countered "ith a pretend pout! Carolyn stared from one to the other! $his "as not the camaraderie of lovers #ut of old friends! +riends "ho 'ne" and li'ed each other, "arts and all! A type of envy tightened Carolyn's chest! he'd never had a friend li'e that! But then she glanced at 8aughan and 'ne" that she didn't "ant him as a friend any"ay! he "anted!!! A shudder of revulsion and denial shoo' her! "% thin', Maddie, dear, that "e are ma'ing Carolyn uncomforta#le," 8aughan said tersely! "Let's attend to the matter in hand! ,ulian's house!" $he conversation s"iftly focused on #usiness "hile 8aughan made arrangements for the afternoon! )e left shortly after "ith Carolyn's promise that she "ould come along and collect him after she'd finished loo'ing at colors and samples! Maddie sighed e&pressively once 8aughan "as out of earshot! "7orgeous hun' of man, that, don't you thin'." A telling heat 4oomed into Carolyn's chee's and the decorator's sharp #lac' eyes rounded slightly! "%'ve al"ays found good(loo'ing men #est avoided," Carolyn tossed off, hoping to deflect any unfortunately correct assumptions! "$hey're insuffera#ly arrogant! And incorrigi#ly unfaithful!" Maddie laughed! "*ou could #e right, especially on that last #it! But they're also damned interesting, don't you thin'." "0ot particularly!" "5eally. )o" unusual! Well, at least you "on't get hurt that "ay! Of course, you might also #e #ored to death, #ut "ho am % to -udge." he laughed delightfully! "%'m thirty years old and haven't managed to hold on to a single,

solitary good(loo'ing man in my "hole adult life! till!!!%'m not complaining! $hey "ere all fun "hile they lasted and, to #e fran', %'m not interested in marriage! Most married "omen loo' frightfully #ored, don't you thin'." Without "aiting for an ans"er, she "hirled and started "al'ing to"ards a different door from the one she'd first come out of! "+ollo" me!" he "aved over her shoulder! "%'ll sho" you the color scheme %'ve chosen! $hen the samples for the carpet and furniture! When you see the house later this afternoon you'll #e a#le to picture "hat goes "here!" Carolyn "as relieved to get off the su#-ect of Maddie's private life! 0ot to mention 8aughan's! he traipsed after the tall, thin figure, thin'ing that, despite not approving of Maddie's casual attitude to men and se&, she "as still dra"n to the other "oman's personality! 6erhaps #ecause Maddie "as everything she "asn't! 7ay and carefree and uninhi#ited! 0e&t to her, Carolyn felt very much the prim and proper, pric'ly virgin she pro#a#ly loo'ed! And yet!!!Maddie had seen through her disguise, had called her sensual( loo'ing, had "anted to paint her! Against all common sense, Carolyn "as #oth flattered and tempted to ta'e her up on the invitation! 6erhaps if she could cast off her clothes as nonchalantly as she "as sure Maddie could, she might stop #eing so uptight, especially "hen it came to the opposite se&! Don't #e ridiculous, her real self returned #ris'ly! 6osing for a nude painting is not you! 0ot you at all! What on earth's got into you today. +irst, going all "atery('need over a man you despise, -ust #ecause he has a handsome face, a #e"itching smile and a #ody any "oman "ould itch to get her hands on! And no", to cap it all off, "anting to act li'e some Bohemian! he thre" a rueful loo' at Maddie leaning over the large des' in her s'in(tight dress, those outrageous earrings s"inging a#out her shoulders! $he day you can feel comforta#le in that rig(out "ill #e the day you pose nude! Which is never/ "Well, "hat do you thin'." Carolyn -olted out of her mental arguing to reali4e that Maddie had #een tal'ing all the "hile, and laying out a "hole spectrum of color s2uares on the des' top! $hey ranged from crisp light #lues to more vi#rant violets to a deep ocean green, alongside a surprisingly attractive apricot(fa"n! $hey "ere cool, classical colors "hich "ould never -ar or offend, #ut had enough character not to loo' insipid! he hated houses that "ere painted all "hite, or all cream, li'e hospital rooms! )er mother did too!

"$his is for the living areas," Maddie said, pointing to the fa"n! "Ceilings to #e "ood(paneled! $he other colors are for various #edrooms and #athrooms! Ceilings to #e ivory! 0o "allpaper! %t changes fashion too 2uic'ly!" "% love these colors," Carolyn praised enthusiastically! "*ou surprise me," "as the almost teasing reply! "% thought, loo'ing at your clothes, that you might favor something a little less!!!#right! Or am % right in guessing this isn't your usual gar#." Carolyn had to laugh! Maddie "as as intuitive as 8aughan had said! "*ou could #e half right there!" "Only half." "$his is my office image! %!!!er!!!don't li'e to attract attention "here % "or'!" "Aah!!!A man!!!" Carolyn nodded! "And you came here from "or' today." "Oh, no, %!!!" $oo late, she #it her tongue! "Ah!!!% see!!!*ou came here dressed li'e that #ecause you didn't "ant to attract 8aughan!" he "as far too intuitive, Carolyn conceded unhappily! ",ulian did "arn me a#out him," she admitted! "And rightly so," Maddie agreed #lithely! "8aughan's not for the li'es of you, dear girl! Best you 'eep "earing maidenly suits li'e that every time you're around him!" Carolyn "as intrigued, despite herself! "Why do you say he isn't for the li'es of me." "Because you're a nice girl and he's a #astard! leeps "ith every attractive "oman "ho ma'es a line for him, has them running round li'e choo's "ith their heads cut off, mothering him, pandering to his every "him! And then "hat happens. )e gets involved in a ne" pro-ect and forgets them! tands them up "ithout meaning to or doesn't turn up till he's hours late! )e drives them insane "ith -ealousy and insecurity till they dump him in despair! But does he care. 0ot a scrap! ,ust shrugs and goes on "or'ing till the ne&t silly female thro"s herself at his head and it all starts over again!" "But hasn't he ever fallen in love." she 2uestioned, appalled yet fascinated! "0ever!"

"And he's no desire for marriage and children." "0ot that % 'no" of! Of course he's a typical male "hen it comes to tal'ing a#out himself! )e's a#out as easy to open up as a roc' oyster! My 7od, % shared a flat "ith him in ydney for three years and in all that time % never even found out "hen his #irthday "as! till don't 'no"!" "*ou!!!you "ere lovers." Carolyn as'ed, her chest tightening! "Actually!!!no!" he sounded as surprised as Carolyn felt! "Don't as' me "hy! After all, he's a se&y #east and %'m hardly a dog, am %." she 2uipped "ithout #atting an eyelash! "% thin' it "as #ecause % "as involved "ith another man "hen "e first met! And 8aughan "as going through one of his antisocial moods! By the time he snapped out of it and %'d #ro'en up "ith my current love, "e'd #ecome friends! )ard to feel passion for an old friend, especially one you've seen loo'ing their "orst! Any"ay, he "asn't into "omen so much #ac' then! ,ust "or'! )e had three -o#s! logged a"ay for a large architectural firm during the day, and moonlighted as a #artender at night, and a lifeguard at the "ee'end! Brother, tal' a#out a "or'aholic/ till is! "And do you still share accommodation." "7od, no/ $hree years "as enough of that macho slo#! % have my o"n s"eet little house no", right on the #each at $hirroul! 8ery tastefully furnished and decorated, % might add!" "$hirroul. Where's that." "0orth of Bulli! Lovely spot! A #it "indy #ut "here isn't it along the south coast." "And 8aughan." Carolyn pro#ed! "Where does he live." "Live." Maddie s2ua"'ed! "8aughan doesn't live any"here! )e doses do"n in a ramshac'le old house he #ought on the cliffs overloo'ing the sea at Austinmere! And #efore you as', that's the ne&t #each north from $hirroul! Well, hardly a #each! More a cove, in my opinion! Actually, 8aughan's place is on a terrific #loc' of land(vie"("ise(#ut the house al"ays loo's as if a #om# has hit it! :&cept, of course, "hen one of his "omen goes into their mothering act and cleans up for him! )e 'eeps saying he's going to renovate the place #ut never gets round to it! $here's al"ays a ne" pro-ect to "or' on for a paying customer, "hich he finds infinitely prefera#le to a -o# one "ould have to pay for oneself!"

"% can imagine," Carolyn muttered #itterly! "Leopards don't change their spots, do they." Maddie's startled reaction communicated itself to Carolyn and she gave a soft groan of dismay! Me and my #ig mouth/ she thought! "*ou 'no" 8aughan, don't you." came the inevita#le 2uestion! "+rom the past!!!And he's done something to hurt you!" "0o, no," she denied in a fluster! "6lease!!!%!!!% don't really 'no" him! %!!!% 'no" someone "ho 'ne" him and yes, he did hurt her! But unintentionally, % thin'! Loo', % don't "ant to tal' a#out it, Maddie! % "ant to forget it! 8aughan does too! 6lease don't mention it to him that % slipped up!" "%f that's "hat you "ant!!!" "*es, it is!" Maddie sighed and gathered up the color cards! "5ight! %n that case "e'd #etter move on to the fa#rics %'ve chosen for the curtains and furnishing! And the carpet samples!" Carolyn li'ed everything she "as sho"n! Maddie had the most super#ly elegant taste, never using the stripes and fussy florals Carolyn 'ne" her mother disli'ed! $he carpet to #e laid in the formal living areas and #edrooms "as to #e a dar'er shade of the apricot(fa"n to #e used on the living(room "alls, and #lended #eautifully "ith the more vi#rant colors Maddie had chosen for the #edrooms! $he more heavily used family areas "ere to #e tiled "ith a #lac' African slate that "as #oth fantastic to loo' at and e&tremely servicea#le! $here "asn't a thing %sa#el "ould o#-ect to! +inally, she "as sho"n pictures and #rochures of the furniture "hich "as a#out to #e ordered! All very classical and rich loo'ing "ith simple clean lines and dar' "ood, and lots of leather! "*ou can change anything you thin' your mother "on't li'e," Maddie assured her! "6lease don't thin' you'll hurt my feelings if you spea' up!" "But % "ouldn't change a thing! 0ot a thing/" Maddie laughed! "% "ish all my clients "ere as agreea#le as you! $hey hire me, #ut they 2uic'ly forget that this is my profession! %t's "hat %'ve #een trained to do! % should #e a#le to choose #etter than the average person! But usually, they have some pet li'es they "ant included that totally ruins the effect % "ant, and % have to go through all sorts of reverse psychology to get my "ay! *ou can't -ust give them a loo' of horror and say, Oh, 7od no/ %t's

al"ays, *es, that's very nice #ut unfortunately!!!Or, Oh, do you thin' so. 6oor Mrs! Whatsername chose something similar and she "as most disappointed #y the finish! ent it #ac', et cetera et cetera!" A 'noc' on the office door startled them #oth! Maddie "al'ed over to open it and a large "oman in a ghastly floral dress "as standing there, loo'ing decidedly impatient! "% "aited for ten minutes outside, Miss 6o"ers, #ut it's no" ten past noon and %!!!" "Oh, goodness, is it. % am so sorry, Mrs! Ma'epiece," she said, and thre" the lady a "inning smile! "% do so get carried a"ay "hen % "or'! 6lease come in! Carolyn and % are finished for no"!" he sho"ed the "oman over to a chair and hurried #ac' #ehind the des'! "%'ll see you at the house at t"o," she "hispered to Carolyn! "*ou go along and have lunch "ith 8aughan, and don't let him get under your s'in! )e's 2uite harmless really, as long as you 'eep him at arm's length!" "Will do," she returned "ith a conspiratorial smile! *es, she li'ed this "oman! 8ery much indeed! $here "as an unpretentiousness, a natural freshness a#out her that "as almost catching! 6erhaps if she stayed around her long enough, she might pluc' up the courage for that painting! Carolyn hurried #ac' along the corridor, a"are she'd ta'en longer than 8aughan had e&pected her to and hoping he hadn't minded "aiting! )e "asn't the calmest of customers "hen it came to his "or' and she could see him in her mind, pacing up and do"n, glaring at his "atch, muttering impatiently! At least her time spent tal'ing "ith Maddie had put her response to 8aughan into #etter perspective! )e "as one of those men "ho #o"led "omen over, 2uite naturally, and "ithout much effort on his part! )is loo's plus his air of apparent indifference to the opposite se& added up to an irresisti#le challenge! Women apparently ran after him, not the other "ay around! And "hen in the mood, he "as only too happy to o#lige them! Carolyn had never met a man #efore "ith such a strongly magnetic se&ual aura and she hadn't #een prepared for it, that "as all! 0o" that she'd had time and space to gather her senses, she felt confident she could handle the situation much #etter! 8aughan "asn't pacing up and do"n! +ar from it! )e "as settled #ehind that mess of a des' of his, "or'ing a"ay so o#sessively that he didn't even hear Carolyn come in! +or a long moment, she -ust "atched him, #ent over "ith his pencil and ruler in his hands, the tip of his tongue resting at the corner of his

mouth as he painsta'ingly "ent a#out ruling very precise lines! )e loo'ed li'e a #oy she'd seen once, playing mar#les in the gutter, a picture of concentration as he "ent a#out "inning all the other #oys' mar#les! Maddie "as "rong, Carolyn decided as she "atched him! 8aughan had fallen in love! With his "or'! Architecture "as his love, his real mistress! Women "ere nothing #ut a leisure pleasure, a momentary rela&ation, a rest and recreation activity till he got #ac' to "hat mattered most in his life! 6lanning and designing! "8aughan!" )e almost -umped out of his s'in! "7ood 7od, don't do that/ *ou almost gave me a heart attac'!" " orry!" "What time is it." "A 2uarter after t"elve!" "Already. % thought %'d only #een here five minutes!" )e scratched his head "ith the end of his pencil, #ut not a hair "as displaced! With his short spi'ed style, he could have put a "heat harvester through it and it "ouldn't have made much difference! "Can you "ait five more minutes." he as'ed, fro"ning #ac' do"n at his "or'! " ure!" he settled #ac' into the #lac' plastic chair trying vainly to ignore the fact that, against all her #est intentions, she "as gaining some "eird pleasure from -ust #eing in the same room as this man! )er heart "as definitely #eating faster and she -ust couldn't ta'e her eyes off him, couldn't stop ga4ing at his handsome face, his sensual mouth, his elegant hands! %'m cra4y, she decided! % 'no" "hat he is, "ho he is! And yet! 7uilt #egan to consume her in "aves as the minutes tic'ed #y! )o" can % #e feeling li'e this a#out the man "ho almost destroyed my mother ho"ever un"ittingly. Why can't % control my feelings, my #odily reactions. What 'ind of a daughter am %. $"enty minutes later 8aughan loo'ed up and caught her still staring at him, no dou#t loo'ing as trou#led as she felt! Luc'ily, once he glanced at his "atch, he interpreted it as something very different from "hat it "as!

"Oh, good grief," he groaned, ""hy didn't you say something. )ell, %'m hopeless "hen % "or'!" )e -umped to his feet and snatched up a couple of 'eys from under some papers! "Let's go! %'ll pic' up some ta'ea"ay and eat it at the house, other"ise Maddie "ill almost get there #efore "e do!" 8aughan loc'ed up then #ustled Carolyn do"n the stairs and out into the sunlight! $he day had "armed up considera#ly since she'd gone inside and the heat hit her 2uite forci#ly! +e#ruary in Australia and long "oollen sleeves did not mi&! he groaned and 8aughan's eyes s"ung her "ay, s"eeping up and do"n her #ody! "*ou'd #e much more comforta#le "ithout that -ac'et on!" "6erhaps," she returned shortly! "But %!!!% #urn easily! Does your car have air( conditioning." " ort of," he grinned "ryly! 7od, did he have to loo' li'e that "hen he smiled. Why couldn't he have croo'ed yello" teeth or something. "What do you mean!!!sort of." "*ou'll find out soon enough!" )e drove a rather ancient maroon M7, "ith the top do"n, "hich "ould have made a fiasco of any "oman's hair that "asn't plaited and pinned do"n "ith the security of +ort 9no&! )e "as a good driver, #ut impatient, nipping from lane to lane, passing any vehicle that didn't do the speed limit, and generally giving Carolyn 2uite a fe" adrenaline surges! 0ot at all "hat she needed! )er heart "as already pumping a"ay li'e the no"y Mountain )ydro:lectric cheme at full throttle! 7uilt, she finally accepted, "as no "eapon against a fatal se&ual attraction! "Won't #e a moment," he said as he 4ipped into a ta'ea"ay chic'en place! "%'ll get you a thic' sha'e! Or "ould you prefer a Co'e." "A thic' sha'e "ould #e fine!" " tra"#erry or chocolate." ":ither!" "Are you sure you don't "ant something to eat." "Well!!!may#e a small chic'en #urger!"

he "as #eginning to feel a #it hungry, despite everything! "Dieting, are "e." he teased, #ut gave her "ell disguised figure a curious loo' #efore alighting, typically "ithout opening the car door! %n five minutes he "as #ac' "ith a large plastic #ag and a card#oard tray "ith four drin's #alancing in it! ")ere!!!" )e dumped the plastic #ag in the #ac' and handed her the drin's! "6ut these on your 'nee and don't let them spill!" ,a"ohl, mein 9ommandant, she said in her mind! Out loud she muttered than's and o#served that there "ere t"o chocolate and t"o stra"#erry mil'( sha'es in her lap! One thing "as for sure! )e "asn't mean! ")o" far from here to ,ulian's house." she in2uired as he hurdled over the driver's door #ac' into the car "ith infuriating grace! 0ot for him the clumsy trip that "ould send him splattering all over the drin's in her lap! "0ot far at all! $hat's it up there," he pointed, gesturing high up into the hills #ehind them! "$he concrete and glass place "ay up on its o"n!" Carolyn's eyes lifted to fasten on ,ulian's "edding gift to her mother! %t "as a house li'e no other she'd ever seen, a triple storeyed semicircular structure "ith huge "indo"s spar'ling in the sunlight! But "hat made it even more spectacular "as its location! 8irtually on the side of a cliff, it hugged the roc'face, li'e a mountain(clim#er! ")a" does it stay up there." she as'ed, her voice a"ed! "By the miracle of steel struts and poles! )aven't you heard of pole houses. Well, this one's -ust ta'en that principle a little further than usual!" "A lot further, % "ould say! 7osh, it must have a magnificent vie" from those front #alconies!" "%t does!" "But "here did you put the pool. ,ulian said it had a pool! % can't see "here it "ould fit!" "%t's #uilt into the roof!" "5eally." )e t"isted to face her, smiling #roadly at her almost childish astonishment! "5eally! hall "e go and eat our ta'ea"ay, pool(side."

"*ou mean it has "ater in it already." "0ot yet," he laughed! "But it does have sides!" he laughed as "ell, her head tipping #ac' "ith automatic delight! But "hen she turned spar'ling #lue eyes to"ards 8aughan she sa" his o"n eyes "iden "ith surprise, sa" them drop to fasten on her laughing mouth! $he -olting remem#rance of -ust "ho she "as laughing "ith, "hose company she "as en-oying more than any other man in all her life so#ered her immediately, all laughter "iped from her face in an instant! 8aughan's sigh "as full of irritation! "+or pity's sa'e, can't you rela& long enough around me to have a simple laugh. %'m not Blue#eard, you 'no"! $ruly, Carolyn, % don't understand you at all/" "Don't you." she said #itterly! "0o! What the hell do you thin' really happened #et"een me and your mother all those years ago. 7od, any#ody "ould thin' % raped her or something/" Bringing up her mother in that tone revitali4ed all her earlier vengeful anger! he t"isted in the seat to face him, chee's hot, #lue eyes derisive! "Oh, % appreciate you "ouldn't have to do that, 8aughan later! 0ot you/ Women thro" themselves at you, don't they. All you do is go around flashing that devastating smile of yours these days and they drop at your feet li'e flies! *ou don't even have to ta'e your shirt off/ "Well, let me tell you this," she "ent on a dar', trem#ling voice, "you can flash your pearly "hites my "ay till the co"s come home and you "on't turn my head! o do "hat Maddie suggested and save your selective #rand of charm for your lady(loves! After all, you'd #e "asting your time "ith me! % don't have any money or anything else you could possi#ly "ant/ 9eep to the Anthea Ma&"ells of this "orld! $hey're "ell suited to men li'e you/" %f Carolyn hadn't #een #lindly furious herself she might have #een frightened #y the loo' that came into his eyes! Or #y the cold fury in his voice! "And % suggest you e&plain that last remar' or else get out of this car right no"!" )er mouth dropped open, only then reali4ing -ust ho" rude she had #een! But she refused to #ac' do"n, snapping her mouth shut and glaring at him 2uite #oldly! "8ery "ell! *ou might as "ell 'no" e&actly "hat % thin' of you and "hy! %'m already fed up trying to #e civil to you "hen "hat % "ould really li'e to do is slap your arrogant face for "hat you did to my mother!"

)er top lip curled "ith contempt! "Oh, yes, % 'no" you didn't force yourself upon her or anything so crass! But the truth is, 8aughan, you're an incorrigi#le "omani4er, encouraging "omen to fall in love "ith you "ithout caring a hoot if they eventually get hurt! *ou're #lind to other people's feelings, "hich is "hy % said you "ere suited to "omen li'e Anthea Ma&"ell! he's e2ually selfish! And e2ually immoral! he "on't have a nervous #rea'do"n "hen you "al' a"ay! +ar from it! he'd merely move on to the ne&t stud she can find! Or #uy!" )is "hole face tightened at this last #ar#, #ut he said nothing in his o"n defense, his ga4e livid! Carolyn, lifted her chin defiantly and s"ept on! ")aving said all that, %'m 2uite prepared to get out of this car, if that's "hat you still "ant! But my #eef is "ith you, not Maddie, and she'll #e e&pecting us #oth at the house shortly! % don't thin' it's fair to involve her in our personal pro#lems!" "0either do %," he ground at her! "0either do %!!!" +or a long, long minute he 'ept glaring at her, #efore saying a#ruptly! "Are you religious." $he une&pected change of su#-ect thre" her! "0o/ Well, yes!!!% am a Christian, #ut %!!!% don't go to church on any regular #asis! Why." "% "as -ust "ondering!!!" "Wondering "hat." she demanded to 'no"! "Why you find se&ual relationships #et"een consenting adults immoral. Or "hy you're so disap( proving of Anthea Ma&"ell." )er laughter "as full of incredulity! ")aven't you forgotten one small factor." ")ave %." "*es!!!Mr! Ma&"ell!" 8aughan loo'ed pu44led! "Arthur." "%f that's "hat he's called! Don't you thin' he might o#-ect to your sleeping "ith his "ife." he "as appalled #y the "ry smile that crossed 8aughan's face! "0ope!" "Oh, % see," she scorned! ")e's as immoral as you are, is that it."

)e suc'ed in a sharp #reath, then e&haled slo"ly! "0ot e&actly, Carolyn! $hough he "as "ell 'no"n for his!!!dalliances! But the main reason Arthur Ma&"ell "ouldn't o#-ect is #ecause he's dead! )as #een for t"o years!" C)A6$:5 +%8: "Oh!!!" Carolyn dropped her eyes to stare #lan'ly do"n at the drin's in her lap, em#arrassed color s"eeping up her nec' and into her face! "Only oh." 8aughan said coldly! "Don't you thin' you o"e me an apology." he said nothing, refusing to concede any such thing! ,ust #ecause he hadn't committed adultery "ith Mrs! Ma&"ell, it didn't mean he hadn't "ith other female clients! Maddie had implied that he slept "ith every "oman "ho thre" herself at him, and she "as sure some of them "ould have #een married! "% "onder "hat other dar' sins you've attri#uted to me in that "arped mind of yours." he snarled! "Besides #eing a callous seducer and adulterer, that is!" Carolyn lifted her eyes and s"ung them his "ay! "As you said to Maddie, 8aughan! %f the cap fits!!!" "And "hat caps fit you, Carolyn. $he cap of intolerance. 6re-udice. 0arro"( mindedness." "%f it's narro"(minded not to li'e men "ho use "omen for their o"n selfish ends "ithout the tiniest scrap of real caring, then % am narro"(minded! % "on't deny it!" "%'ve never used any "oman "ho didn't "ant to #e used, % assure you," he said dar'ly! "Women are not al"ays "hiter than "hite, dear girl! 6ity you haven't realised that!" Carolyn #ristled! "Are you referring to my mother." )is sigh carried a "eary resignation! "0o, % am not! +or 7od's sa'e, can "e get off the su#-ect of your mother. %'m sorry for "hat happened to her! $erri#ly sorry! But that episode is dead and #uried and % refuse to feel any false guilt! % also refuse to let you thro" that up in my face all the time! % "on't have it, do you hear me." "Me, and the rest of Wollongong/"

)e flushed dar'ly "hen he noticed several people at a near#y car staring over at them! Muttering, he fired the engine and screeched out of the car par', #urning ru##er! Carolyn "as glad of the lids on the drin's or they'd have spilt every"here! "% "ould li'e to get home tonight in one piece," she #it out "hen they s'idded round the ne&t corner! "Why." he snapped! "%t's not as though you've got a date!" )er side"ays glance "as startled! $hen annoyed! "And "hy "ouldn't % have a date." )is returning loo' "as full of contempt! "Because you're far too uptight and self(righteous! +ar too anti(men! 7ood lord, -ust loo' at you, done up li'e a maiden aunt, pro-ecting a pric'ly aloofness most of the time that "ould scare a man off from a hundred yards! *ou #ecame human #riefly #ac' there in the car par'! %n fact, you actually loo'ed li'e a vi#rant, attractive young "oman for a fe" seconds #efore you #uttoned up your se&uality again! %f you've got a date tonight, honey, then %'m a mon'ey's uncle!" "%s that so. Well, %'ll have you 'no" that!!!" "Oh, save it, s"eetheart, %'m not interested! Let's -ust get up to the house and get this over and done "ith as soon as possi#le! And % suggest you deal through Maddie in future! By the end of today %'ll have had a#out as much of you as % can ta'e!" Carolyn "as running late for "or' the follo"ing Monday morning, due to having slept in! )er #ody cloc' had #een "ell and truly put out #y not #eing a#le to sleep at all on the aturday night after her return from Wollongong! unday had #een no more restful, all attempts to have a much needed nap failing! By the time her head hit the pillo" that night she'd #een too tired to do anything #ut sleep! And sleep! And sleep! An irrita#le sigh punched from her lips as the traffic lights ahead changed to red! Damn it, she thought! %f she'd caught one red light, she'd caught them all! $he trip from her unit in Ashfield out along the )ume )igh"ay to War"ic' +arm and the private hospital "here she "or'ed could ta'e anything from t"enty minutes to an hour, depending on the traffic! $his morning's "as horrendous, compounding her tardiness, as "as her #eing e&tra careful "ith ,ulian's car! he "ould have driven her old #om# if she'd #een a#le to get it to start, #ut a flat #attery had #een her undoing!

he stopped at the lights and glanced in the rearvie" mirror, groaning "hen she sa" her hair! %t "as a mess/ But she -ust hadn't had time to plait it! he'd #arely had time to sho"er and thro" on some clothes #efore racing out of the door at eight(thirty! 0ormally she "as gone #y eight at the latest! %'ll #olt into the ladies' room as soon as % get to "or' and do it properly, she resolved! )unger pangs in her stomach also told Carolyn that she hadn't eaten any #rea'fast! Actually, she hadn't eaten much for t"o days! "Damn 8aughan later," she muttered aloud! "Damn, damn, damn/" )er mind flashed #ac' to the strained hour she'd spent "ith him and Maddie at ,ulian's house, a house "hich, "hen it "as finished, "ould indeed #e magnificent! But it "asn't the house that had filled her thoughts for long after she'd left Wollangong! %t "as 8aughan, the man "ho'd once haunted her mother1 "ho "as no" haunting her! )e hadn't #othered to hide his annoyance "ith her, even in Maddie's presence, using a hard, almost moc'ing tone to point out the various features of the house! Maddie noticed, of course, giving #oth of them "ide(eyed curious glances all the time! +inally, 8aughan announced that he had to leave, that he had things to do #efore going to Anthea's party that night, at "hich Maddie spun round from "here she "as standing across the large living(room, an astonished loo' on her face! "*ou're going to a party." 8aughan's mouth curved #ac' into an ironic smile! "0ot any party, Maddie! Anthea's! Don't "orry, she'll ma'e the sacrifice "orth"hile," he dra"led and turned to give Carolyn #eside him a taunting loo'! ")ave you seen enough for today." With the greatest difficulty she held his ga4e, a contemptuous smir' lifting the corner of her mouth! "More than enough, % "ould say!" )er stomach fluttered at the "ic'edly dangerous anger that flashed into his eyes! he should have 'no"n #etter than to thro" out a challenge to a man "ithout conscience! )is ga4e ra'ed #rutally do"n over her #ody, then up again! "% can't say the same in return," he murmured, so lo" that Maddie "ould not have heard! "But one day, Carolyn! One day!!!"

he suc'ed in an alarmed #reath! *et alongside the fear lay another, more insidious response! Desire! )ers, not his, spar'ed #y the smoldering sensuality of his hard scrutiny, and the se&ual threat #ehind his "ords! *et 8aughan did not really "ant her, she realised "retchedly! All he "anted "as to ma'e her eat her "ords, to tear do"n her moral resistance #y getting her to go to #ed "ith him! %t "as this promise of a vengeful seduction that had 'ept her a"a'e all aturday night and had churned a"ay in her stomach all unday, destroying her appetite and her peace of mind! Because he could so easily do it, she'd finally accepted! o damned easily! $he lights turned green and she edged the BMW for"ard, her hands trem#ling on the "heel! %f she 'ept this up she "ouldn't get any sleep tonight either/ %t "as t"enty past nine #y the time she pulled the BMW into her slot in the hospital staff car par' and turned off the engine! till agitated over her mind( num#ing reali4ation, Carolyn "as all fingers and thum#s as she alighted, first her 'eys then her carry(all clattering to the concrete! Cursing, she #ent to pic' them up and her long hair fell for"ard round her face, some across her eyes, some into her mouth! )er curse "as no longer silent! 0either "as it very ladyli'e! A man's laughter had her head -er'ing round to find a pair of elegantly trousered legs standing #eside her! Before she could glance up further, their o"ner crouched do"n to help her pic' up her things! "$h!!!than' you," she stammered! $hey rose simultaneously and Carolyn sa" that the gallantry #elonged to none other than Maurice ,en'ins! "7ood lord," he e&claimed once he recognised her! "%t's Carolyn Mac'en4ie from Admittance/" urprised #lue eyes #egan caressing the long fair hair cascading over her shoulders! "Who "ould have #elieved so much gorgeous se&y hair "as hiding #ehind the "ay you usually "ear it." Carolyn felt her temper #egin to fray immediately! %t surprised her! he "as not normally so touchy! Or easy to rile! "Ama4ing, isn't it." she returned "ith gritted teeth!

"*ou should "ear it loose more often!" ")ardly practical, %'m afraid! Well, % must #e going!!!" "% thought you drove an old green Datsun," he cut in, fro"ning at the BMW "*es, % do!" "3sing the #oyfriend's car today." he smir'ed! "$hat's right," Carolyn lied! Anything to get this o#no&ious man off the sent! 7od, he "as all hot eyes, undressing her, practically raping her in advance! )o" all those nurses fell for him she had no idea! At least "hen 8aughan had loo'ed at her he hadn't leered! $he doctor's surprise at her admission annoyed her so much that she launched into a further outrageous t"isting of semi(truths! "My car "ouldn't start this morning so he gave me his! $hat's "hy %'m late!" he indulged in a meaningful feminine giggle! "Well, that's not entirely true! We!!!er!!!%!!!did sleep in, -ust a little! My "ee'end "as positively e&hausting!" Carolyn gained malicious pleasure from the astonishment that crossed the doctor's "ea'ly handsome face! $he thought came to her that, compared to 8aughan's strong features, this man's loo's "ere positively insipid/ $he reali4ation that t"ice "ithin the last fe" seconds she had thought favora#ly of 8aughan ran'led her considera#ly! +or pity's sa'e, you vo"ed to put that man out of your mind, she lectured herself fiercely! :asier said than done! "6lease e&cuse me, Doctor, #ut % must get into "or'! %'m late enough as it is!" As she "ent to "al' past him, he put a staying hand on her arm! he stiffened and loo'ed up at him, ice in her eyes! )e tried one of his supposedly "inning smiles on her! %t failed a#ysmally! "% -ust "anted to say," came the sil'ily delivered line, "that %'ve al"ays li'ed you, Carolyn, and if there's anything you ever need!!!a shoulder to cry on, perhaps. then %'ll al"ays #e there for you! ,ust give me a call! *ou must 'no" my num#er! %t's in the files! 6romise me you'll do that." he finished smarmily, and let his hand slide do"n her arm and #ac' to his side!

7od, #ut he "as revolting/ Carolyn -ust stopped herself in time from shuddering! 6asting a false smile on her face, she moved a"ay "ithout saying a "ord! he didn't trust herself to! $he "hole office loo'ed up in open(mouthed unison "hen she hurried in, not only late #ut "ith her hair still do"n and flying every "hich "ay! All eyes focused on the "ay"ard #londe loc's! "0ot a "ord/" she "arned them! "0ot a single solitary "ord/ %t's going #ac' up in five seconds' time and it "ill never ever come do"n again/" And "ith that she spun round on her heels and marched from the room! $hat "ee' "as e&cruciatingly long! And a"fully lonely! :specially once the "ee'end came round and Carolyn didn't even have "or' to fill the day! leeping "as still a pro#lem and she rose early on the aturday morning, giving herself added hours to find something to do! After doing her "ee'ly shopping!!!"hich "as minimal for one person!!!Carolyn spent more time than usual cleaning the flat, -ust for something to do! But "hen she started rearranging perfectly tidy dra"ers out of sheer #oredom she sat do"n on her #ed "ith a disgruntled sigh! "7ood 7od, "hat am % doing this for." he shoo' her head, only then appreciating ho" much she'd al"ays relied on her mother for company, ho" she'd neglected to form the sort of close friendships that "ould have stood her in good stead at times li'e these! Oh, yes, she played competitive tennis in the "inter and "ent out "ith the ladies A grade team for a drin' after the game each "ee'! But she didn't 'eep in social contact "ith these girls over the summer! he did go out "ith the people from "or' every once in a "hile, especially leading up to Christmas! And of course there had #een occasional dates "ith men in the past! But lately, her only regular outings at "ee'ends had #een "ith her mother, either going shopping or to the #each or the movies! he also accompanied ,ulian and her mother do"n to the local clu# most aturday nights for dinner, or to en-oy "hatever entertainment "as on that "ee'! $hat clu# had #een the mainstay of Carolyn and %sa#el's limited social life for years! %t "as there that %sa#el had met ,ulian at a dinner dance, and also "here Carolyn herself had met the fe" men she'd dated in the past! $hough she hadn't gone out "ith a man no" for over si& months! 0ot #ecause she hadn't #een approached lately, #ut #ecause she'd come to #elieve that most men

"ho pic'ed up "omen in clu#s "eren't interested in a real relationship! $hey "ere loo'ing for a one(night stand! 0o matter ho" lonely Carolyn felt, she "asn't going to #e reduced to that "ay of life/ $he une&pected -angling of the phone made her -ump off the #ed! 0o" "ho could that #e. she "ondered, and hurried from the #edroom! But she couldn't thin' of anyone "ho "ould ring her! As she approached the telephone ta#le, the sudden thought that something might have gone "rong "ith ,ulian and %sa#el made her heart flip over! "*es." she ans"ered, una#le to 'eep the "orry from her voice! "%t's 8aughan, Carolyn!" )er shoc'ed inta'e of #reath "as 2uite audi#le! "6lease don't hang up," he raced on tautly! "% must spea' "ith you!" "W!!!"hy." she stammered, her "hole insides contracting! ")as something gone "rong "ith the house." )e gave a short, dry laugh! "0ot at all! %f anything, things have never #een #etter in that regard! $he plasterers came on time and so did the painters!" "Well, "hat did you "ant to spea' to me a#out." she demanded, shoc' and tension ma'ing her sharp! )is sigh sounded regretful! "%'ve #een thin'ing a#out "hat happened last "ee' #et"een you and me, Carolyn!!!" "0othing happened #et"een you and me! And nothing's going to/" Cool it, a little voice "arned her! *ou're over the top here! "%f you hang up on me," he said in a lo", measured tone, "you'll find me on your doorstep!" Carolyn's eyes almost popped out of her head! 8aughan. )ere. %n person. A phone call, ho"ever fraught "ith tension, "as infinitely prefera#le to that/ But she had to pull herself together! "% have no intention of hanging up, 8aughan! 0ot unless you force me to!" "Why in 7od's name "ould % do that." he said impatiently! "Loo', all % "anted "as to say ho" sorry % am things got out of hand last aturday! %t's #othered me all "ee'! %'ve #een trying to see things from your point of vie" and % can understand part of your attitude to"ards me! *ou o#viously "ent through a

traumatic e&perience as a child "ith %sa#el #rea'ing do"n the "ay she did, and it's only logical that % "ould #e the o#-ect of a lot of anger in your mind! But % as' you in all fairness not to -udge me so rashly and harshly "hen it comes to the "ay % live my life no"! % might not live up to your rather old( fashioned moral standards, #ut neither am % the #lac'guard you painted me! % dare say the truth lies some"here in #et"een," he finished, and sighed again! A silence, heavy and e&pectant, dropped on to the line! "Carolyn." he said at last! "Are you still there." "*es!" "Did you listen to "hat % said. 5eally listen." "*es!" "Well." "Well "hat." )e made an impatient sound! "Well, do you agree you might have #een a #it hasty in your opinion of me." he #it out! "0o!" "Oh, for 7od's sa'e/" "But % do agree things got out of hand! And % do feel guilty that % "as so rude! % promise not to #e in the future!" "Do you thin' that's "hat % "ant from you. %cy politeness." A surge of e&citement shot through her till she pulled herself up short! $his is 8aughan later here! My mother's e&(lover, Anthea Ma&"ell's present lover/ Also the man "ho loo'ed at you "ith such "ic'ed resolve last aturday and vo"ed! "One day, Carolyn!!!One day!" "% don't "ant you to "ant anything from me, 8aughan," she said "ith an unfortunately sha'ing voice! "*ou al"ays ta'e everything % say the "rong "ay/" he protested!

"Do %. % "ould have to have #een deaf, dum# and #lind not to 'no" "hat you threatened me "ith the other day!" "$hat "as anger tal'ing," he ground out! "%'m not really planning to seduce you/" "*ou "ouldn't have a hope in )ades, any"ay!" " o %'ve gathered, #elieve me!" )is dry moc'ing tone riled her considera#ly! "%'ll have you 'no", 8aughan later, that % don't al"ays loo' and act the "ay % did on aturday!" "%f you say so! Maddie certainly seemed to thin' you had another side to you!" "But you don't agree "ith her/" she said tartly! "% -ust thin' it's a travesty that a girl as #asically lovely as yourself has #ecome so #itter and t"isted "hen it comes to men and se&!" "% am not #itter and t"isted a#out men and se&/" "Aren't you." he murmured, almost sadly! "Loo', "e're getting off the point of this call again! My sole intention "as to apologi4e and to smooth the "ay for us to "or' together "ithout #iting each other's heads off! % also "anted to tell you that #y ne&t "ee'end you'll #e a#le to see the completed interior of the house! ,ust give me a time suited to you, and Maddie and %'ll meet you there at the house!" Carolyn's head "hirled! "Oh, #ut %!!!%'m not sure if %!!!" "May#e you "ould li'e to chec' your social diary." 6erhaps he "asn't #eing sarcastic, #ut Carolyn didn't hear it that "ay! :very "ord seemed to #e full of cynical irony, taunting her, #aiting her! "$hat "on't #e necessary," she ans"ered #rus2uely! "Ma'e it at t"o again on the aturday afternoon!" "+ine! And Carolyn," he added -ust #efore hanging up, "if it's hot, #ring your s"imming cossie! %'m having the pool filled this "ee'!" C)A6$:5 %=

%t "as hot! 8ery hot! o hot that to "ear something li'e the grey "oollen suit "ould have #een ridiculous! $he day actually called for shorts, a #ree4y top and sandals! And, in the end, that "as "hat Carolyn "ore, reasoning that if she "asn't as normal and natural as possi#le 8aughan "ould #egin thin'ing she had something more to hide than her figure! till, as she drove into Wollongong her stomach #egan fluttering "ith nerves! Would 8aughan insist on that s"im after they'd inspected the house. And if he did, "ould she go along "ith the idea. After all, that "ould mean "earing the costume lying in the #each #ag on the passenger seat, a costume "hich, though a reasona#ly modest #lac' one(piece, "ouldn't hide much of her #ody! Carolyn had never #een a#le to "or' out -ust "hy men found her #ody so desira#le! he "asn't tall "ith long se&y legs! he didn't have #ig #reasts! 0either "as her #ottom lushly rounded! %f anything, her figure "as rather #oyish in its slightness! But she did have an e&ceptionally tiny "aist, "hich she supposed lent an illusion of e&tra curves to the rest of her! And her s'in al"ays ac2uired that softly golden hue in summer that seemed to impel men to touch it! Carolyn had learnt over the years to #e careful in "hat she "ore, for she did so hate #eing su#-ected to "olf "histles and leering stares and un"anted pa"ing! Which "as "hy her "ardro#e "as mostly full of clothes designed to detract from, rather than enhance her figure! $he fe" e&ceptions "ere her mother's choices, not her o"n! $he shorts set she "as "earing today "as a #orderline case! %t had #een a Christmas present from ,ulian, chosen no dou#t #y %sa#el! imple "hite cotton Bermuda shorts "ith cuffs made in the same geometric pin' and "hite material as the matching top! %t "as not a se&y outfit #y any stretch of the imagination, #ut the shorts did have a "ide #elt "hich emphasi4ed her small "aist, and the singlet(style top e&posed all her arms and a great deal of her slender shoulders! With her hair dangling do"n her #ac' in a single loose plait and pin' lip gloss on, Carolyn 'ne" she "as presenting a very feminine picture, a far cry from the old( maidish image she'd dished up to 8aughan a fortnight #efore! 0evertheless, "hat am % "orrying a#out. she argued dismissively! )e's not attracted to me in the slightest! )e thin's %'m t"isted, se&less/ More than li'ely he'll ma'e some sarcastic comment a#out my changed appearance then set a#out moc'ing me for the rest of the time "e have to spend together!

Which #rought her #ac' to his as'ing her to #ring her s"imming costume! Why had he. she "orried for the umpteenth time! Did he have some devious ulterior motive. Or "as it -ust a 'let(#ygones(#e(#ygones' gesture. $he road that led up to ,ulian's house "as very steep! %t "ound up into the hills #ehind Wollongong till it "as actually a#ove the house, since a drive"ay directly up the cliff(face #elo" "ould have #een impossi#le! $he third floor of the house!!!or rooftop!!!"as -ust #elo" the level of the road and housed four carports #ehind "hich stood the courtyard "hich held the pool and surrounds! A "ide staircase dropped from the roof do"n to the ne&t level "hich consisted of general living areas! Another staircase too' one do"n to the sleeping 2uarters of four #edrooms, all "ith matching ensuites! Both lo"er levels sported huge semi(circular #alconies that faced out to the sea in the distance! 8aughan's M7 "as already par'ed in one of the carports "hen Carolyn dre" up to the house, -ust the sight of it t"isting her insides into instant 'nots! )er reaction annoyed her! )o" could she appear normal and natural if she "as "ound up so tight she'd pro#a#ly snap at the most innocuous comment he made. )er eyes s"ept round for a sight of Maddie's #lac' car, #ut it "as conspicuously a#sent! Carolyn #egan hoping 8aughan might have #rought Maddie "ith him! Apparently he hadn't, for he strode out alone as soon as she turned off the engine! )er heart turned over "hen she sa" him, for he "as only half(dressed, his gorgeously tanned #ody displayed heart(stoppingly in "hite shorts and not another single damned thing! 0o top! 0o shoes! 0othing! )e loo'ed as if he'd -ust emerged from a cooling s"im, deep #ro"n hair slic'ed #ac' at the sides and spi'y on top, #ron4ed s'in still glistening! A huge lump claimed her throat as she "atched him stride purposefully to"ards her side of the car, his hand reaching out to open the door for her! he "as so rattled #y the "ay her heart started thudding in her chest that she "asn't at all prepared for the "ay he loo'ed at her once she forced her heavy legs out from #ehind the "heel! An odd stillness claimed him! )e stared, "ithout seeming to #reathe, only his eyes moving! %t "as the most devastatingly intense scrutiny she'd ever #een su#-ected to! Oh, 7od, Carolyn thought!

,ust "hen she #egan to panic, his face rela&ed into a sardonic smile! "% see you're intent on ma'ing me eat my "ords," he dra"led, and shut the car door #ehind her! "0ot only do % no" 'no" you've got a figure as dainty and delicate as a crystal hourglass, #ut you've also ta'en that a"ful #un thing do"n!" )is hands reached out to hold her #y the shoulders and turn her round to inspect the single plait dangling do"n her #ac'! " till plaited, % see! % suppose it's too much to as' for too many miracles in one go!" Carolyn did her #est not to cringe a"ay from his hands on her flesh! he 'ne" they "eren't really se&ual hands! Or se&ual "ords! Only moc'ing, teasing ones! And she steadfastly refused to give him the satisfaction of rising to his #ait! When he turned her #ac' to face him, his e&pression "as dryly amused! "But #e "arned! Any further improvements and % might #e forced to ma'e a pass at you!" 0o" her temper flared! Who did he thin' he "as, turning her this "ay and that, moc'ing her all the "hile. "%f you "ould prefer," she snapped! "%'ll dress in nec'(to('nee all the time in future! %'d hate to put your male ego through the unnecessary strain of having to ma'e a pass at a "oman "ho's #itter and t"isted!" )is fingers tightened, nails digging slightly into her flesh! he loo'ed up to see his eyes dar'en and flash! "7od, %'d li'e to!!!" "What." she cut in "ith cold challenge, though her heart "as pounding so loudly she "as sure he must hear it! " ho" me %'m right a#out you. 6rove that you're nothing #ut a callous seducer, that you've never "anted a "oman for any other reason than -ust se&." )is hands dropped from her as though stung, his eyes "ide! Dismay clutched at Carolyn's stomach as she realised she had once again allo"ed this to happen! 0o "onder 8aughan "as loo'ing at her at this very moment in such an appalled fashion! he 'ept on over(reacting to him, taunting him as he un"ittingly taunted her "ith his overt se&uality! :ven no", she couldn't ta'e her eyes off his #are chest! he "anted to touch it, oh so #adly! he "anted! $he memory of seeing his #are chest another time, ten years ago, #lasted #ac' to her mind! Only it "asn't her o"n hands she pictured running over his muscles "ith mindless passion! %t "as another pair of hands, the hands of a "oman "ho'd #een destroyed #y the o"ner of that #are chest!

A so# "as torn from Carolyn's heart, a so# of utter despair! he "hirled a"ay from 8aughan's startled face to cover her o"n "ith her hands! hame curdled through her insides! More so#s punched from her throat! When tender fingers curved gently over her shoulders again she tried to pull a"ay #ut he "ould have none of it, tightening his grasp and easing her firmly #ac' against him, arms sliding for"ard to "rap around her chest! "Don't," 8aughan groaned! "+or 7od's sa'e, don't! %t's all right!!!really! % started it "ith my stupid remar's! %'m sorry!!!% didn't mean to upset you! %t's -ust that you!!!you get under my s'in!" )er so#s "ere cho'ed off #y the a"ful reality of his crushing and very intimate em#race! he could feel his thighs, hard #ehind hers, his #reath "arm in her hair, his heart #eating against her #ac'! he could feel far too much of him! "0o, you've got under my s'in," he rasped, his lips moving across her hair, dropping do"n to #rush over one ear! A shiver of sheer electric pleasure ran do"n her spine! +or a second, she succum#ed to the temptation of melting #ac' into him, #ut "hen she felt his flesh stir against her #uttoc's she "as truly shoc'ed! "% haven't #een a#le to stop thin'ing a#out you for t"o "ee's! % "ant you, Carolyn, in a "ay %'ve never "anted a "oman #efore! %!!!" he "renched out of his arms and a"ay from him, spinning round "ith horror in her eyes at the "ay he had made her feel! o 2uic'ly and so easily! Within a hair's #readth of surrender! "0o/" she screamed! "0o/ *ou!!!you 'eep a"ay from me! Don't touch me! % hate you/" "Do you." he ground out, harsh eyes ta'ing in the uncontrolla#le tremors that had #egun to "rac' her #ody! "% don't thin' so, Carolyn! 0ot even remotely! *ou're fighting "hat's #een gro"ing #et"een us #ecause of your mother! *ou mista'enly thin' she'd care if!!!" Maddie's #lac' car accelerated around the corner up the road and into vie"! 8aughan s"ore! "Of all the "rong damned moments!" "$he right damned moment," Carolyn flung #ac' at him, sha'ing hands smoothing several escaping strands of hair a"ay from her flushed face!

"We'll finish this discussion later, madam," he said "ith steely resolve! "When "e "on't #e interrupted! Mean"hile, % suggest you try to loo' less li'e a girl "ho's -ust #een ravished! 3nless of course you "ant Maddie to 'no" the truth a#out us! +or my o"n part, % don't give a damn "ho 'no"s ho" % feel a#out you/" "$here is no us/" she cried! )is eyes "ere merciless! "*es, there #loody "ell is! And one day %'m going to ma'e you admit it/" "Over my dead #ody/" "Oh, no, Carolyn," he vo"ed dar'ly! "Over your very alive #ody!" Maddie's car scattered gravel as it ground to a halt! he #ounded from #ehind the "heel, an individualistic picture in a #lac' cotton -umpsuit "ith #right red hi#iscus flo"ers em#roidered on it, a 8 nec'line cut lo"er than the defense #udget and slits half"ay up each leg "hich flapped "ildly as she "al'ed, sho"ing long slender legs! %ndian(style red sandals graced her feet! )uge red flo"er earrings s"ung from her ears! "*es, % 'no" it's me "ho's late this time," she greeted, smiling #roadly! "But it "asn't my fault! Mrs! Ma'epiece -ust couldn't ma'e up her mind "hat fa#ric she "anted for the #edroom curtains, the poor indecisive darling! Don't "orry, 8aughan, % steered her gently in the right direction! Well, if it isn't Carolyn, loo'ing divinely cool and gorgeous/ 7od, it's hot/" he sco"led at 8aughan's #are chest! ")aven't you ever heard of s'in cancer. *ou should #e "earing a $(shirt at this time of day!" "But of course," he returned dryly! "%'ve noticed ho" covered up you are!" "% have my factor fifteen sun(screen all over my #eautiful #ody! pea'ing of #eautiful #odies, % hope you've #een leaving Carolyn's alone, you #ad #oy! he loo's a little rattled! %'ll tell Anthea if you haven't!" 0o" it "as 8aughan's turn to sco"l! "% don't give a stuff "hat you tell Anthea/" And he stormed off to"ards the house! Maddie rolled her eyes! "My, #ut he is in a good mood today!" he "al'ed over and lin'ed arms "ith Carolyn! ")e's #een li'e that for a couple of "ee's! 6erhaps he and Anthea have had a tiff! *ou 'no" "hat men li'e 8aughan are li'e "hen they're not having their regular dose of se&! 8ery liverish! Oh, "ell, at least "e 'no" not to get tangled up "ith him, don't "e. Come on, let's go

and see ho" the edifice is loo'ing #efore cran'y(pants starts smashing the "alls in "ith his chin!" Carolyn tried not to laugh! $ruly, she should have #een shattered, not amused! But once they met up "ith 8aughan again she sa" that his chin "as -utting out li'e that of a t"o(year(old #oy a#out to thro" a tantrum! 0ot only that, he had dragged a $ shirt over his na'ed torso "hich had "ritten on it! "% 3 :D $O B: A MA OC)% $! 0OW % ,3 $ B3%LD )O3 : /" he too' one loo' at him and started to giggle, the giggles soon dissolving into outright laughter! +or a fe" seconds, he loo'ed affronted, #ut then a "ide grin split his face and he too laughed! "Methin's %'ve missed something here," Maddie fro"ned, loo'ing from one to the other and perhaps detecting a slightly #lac' edge to their amusement! But then 8aughan did something that stunned Carolyn! )e "al'ed over and 'issed her! Only a light lingering of lips, #ut she "as too surprised to do a thing #ut stand there and let him! When his head lifted he lanced her "ith a "ry, almost self(moc'ing loo'! "$ruce." he said softly! he nodded dum#ly! "%'ve definitely missed something," Maddie intoned dryly! "A 'iss of peace, Maddie," he dra"led! "$hat's all! We had a little difference of opinion #efore you arrived!" "Oh, yes. What a#out." "0othing important," Carolyn -umped in, "hich #rought an approving loo' from 8aughan! "%n that case, can "e get on "ith this tour of duty." Maddie as'ed! "% have an important date tonight and % have an appointment at the hairdresser's in less than an hour!" "7od, not another man, Maddie," 8aughan groaned! "%t's only a date," she countered! "Any"ay, do % ma'e -udgements a#out your se& life. Don't ma'e any a#out mine/" )alf an hour later she "as gone, and Carolyn "as once again alone "ith 8aughan! )e slanted her an almost "atchful loo' and immediately every in(

stinctive nerve in her #ody screamed at her to get a"ay from here!!!and him!!!as 2uic'ly as possi#le! "%!!!% must #e going too," she said! "Must you." A faint moc'ing tone "as #ac' in his voice! "*es!" $here "as a finality in the "ord that "asn't in her heart! he "anted to stay! $erri#ly! )e shrugged, irritation in the action! "What a#out that s"im "e "ere going to have." )e strolled over to "here she "as standing #y the ne"ly filled and filtered pool! "7o on," he urged! "7o and get your cossie! $he "ater's great! %t'll cool you do"n #efore your long drive home!" Before she could say another "ord, he "his'ed his $(shirt over his head and stepped out of his shorts! Carolyn tried not to stare at the "ay his #rief "hite trun's clung! But stare she did! )e noticed her avid attention too, a surprised though decidedly pleased spar'le in his eyes #efore he turned a"ay and dived gracefully into the pool! What to do. she agoni4ed! Common sense told her to "al' a"ay, to get into the BMW and -ust drive off! But some dar' tempting voice 'ept "hispering to do "hat he as'ed, to go and put on her costume, to stay and have that s"im! )e surfaced, flic'ing his head so that a sho"er of droplets sprayed around him! )is hands lifted to smooth #ac' the sides of his hair and he fro"ned at her! ")aven't you gone to get your things yet." "0o!!!*es!!!% mean!!!8aughan, % don't thin' % should!" )e s"am over and levered himself out of the pool, pic'ing up a near#y to"el and "al'ing slo"ly to"ards her, "iping his face! But his eyes never left hers! )e dropped the to"el "hen he reached her, and 2uite slo"ly and deli#erately pulled her into his arms! tunned, she offered no resistance, #ut her eyes gre" "ide at the feel of his damp, hard #ody pressed against hers! "Do you "ant to stay." he as'ed in a hus'y voice! he #lin'ed and opened her mouth to say something #ut nothing came out! )er mind "as no longer connected to her tongue! +or a fe" seconds longer he stared do"n at her! "Let's see if % can't help you ma'e up your mind!!!" And his mouth slo"ly descended!

)o" long later did it lift again. A minute. $"o. Carolyn had no idea, for instantly those soft sensual lips claimed hers she "as catapulted into a "orld so erotic and e&citing that all coherent thought roc'eted to a distant planet! he clung to him, her lips parting soundlessly #eneath the increasing pressure of his, letting his tongue slide for"ard into her mouth, letting him arouse her "ith it to a pitch she "ould never have #elieved possi#le from a 'iss! $he #lood #egan s"imming in her head and "ave upon "ave of heat flooded up through her #ody! When her 'nees threatened to #uc'le from under her, she slid her arms up tightly around his nec', her small hard #reasts pressed flat against his "et chest! But "hen a lo" moan murmured in her throat, the 'iss "as a#ruptly terminated! Da4ed eyes opened to see 8aughan "asn't much more controlled than herself, his eyes glittering, his #reathing heavy! "7od, Carolyn," he rasped, clearly in a type of shoc' at her un#ridled response! "Don't stop," she "hispered sha'ily, and san' #ac' into him! )e groaned, his head dipping to ta'e her mouth once more, firing her #lood further, ta'ing her one step closer to the point of no return! But once again, it "as 8aughan "ho terminated the 'iss, dra"ing #ac' to hold her at arm's length! "% thin' "e #oth need to cool do"n a little," he said in a desire(thic'ened voice! "Or % might end up doing something you'll undou#tedly regret later! *our #ody "ants me, Carolyn, #ut your mind needs a little more time #efore it "ants me too! When that happens!!!and it "ill!!!you "on't have a hope in )ades of stopping me, s"eetheart! *ou have my "ord on that/ 0o" #e a good girl and get that cossie of yours on," he said as he spun her round and tapped her on the #ottom! "%'ve a mind to see you in far less than you've got on at this moment!" And so doing, he dived #ac' into the pool and stro'ed steadily a"ay from her! +or a moment she -ust stood there, her mind "hirling as she tried to grasp "hat had -ust happened, "hat "as going to happen #et"een herself and this man! But her dangerously aroused #ody "ould have none of reason and soon she "as turning on ro#otic legs and ma'ing her "ay out to the BMW Once there, she opened the passenger door and dre" out the #each(#ag that captained her things, shivering as she thought a#out ho" accessi#le her #ody "ould #e in such a thin, scanty garment! lo"ly, the cogs of reason #egan to slide #ac' into gear! $here "as no point in pretending she didn't 'no" "hat "ould happen once she "as half(na'ed in the pool "ith 8aughan! A man li'e him!!!so carnal,

despite his no#le "ords!!!"ould not #e a#le to help himself! Already in her mind's eyes he "as 'issing her again, touching her all over, peeling the costume a"ay from her already s"ollen #reasts, #ending that hot, fiery mouth to the roc'(hard tips, suc'ing on them, lic'ing them! Carolyn!!!"hose #reasts had never #een seen let alone suc'led #y a man!!!s"ayed "ith the shoc' of her mental images, of her #old desires! +or she "anted to #end her mouth to him also, to taste his flesh, to!!! $he e&plicit and 2uite shoc'ing nature of her fantasies #rought her up "ith a -olt! % can't let any of this happen, she groaned! 0o matter "hat my #ody feels and "ants, 8aughan is the one man in the entire "orld % must not #ecome involved "ith, for to do so "ould #e to ris' a relationship far more important to me than a se&ual fling! $hat of mother and daughter! But to say no, to "al' a"ay from such pleasure!!! he moaned, shoc'ed #y the real pain of th"arted desire! %t made her reali4e ho" strong lust could #e! )o" a"fully, a"fully strong! %t "as there, in every tightly strung muscle, in every charged nerveending, tempting her, #egging her to give in! Carolyn "ould never have dreamt that she "as capa#le of "anting a relationship that "as '-ust se&'! But she had to accept that "here the pleasures of the flesh "ere concerned, she "as as "ea' as the ne&t person! :ven no", she "anted to go #ac' to 8aughan, to strip herself totally na'ed in front of him, to tell him to do "hatever he "illed "ith her! 7athering every mental resource she had, Carolyn #egan to fight the cruel temptations "ith desperate logic! urely one day, there'll #e another man for me! Another man "ho'll ma'e me feel li'e this, another man "hom %'ll love as "ell as lust after, another man "ho "on't #e such a #astard! %t "or'ed, her intense desire su#siding and her mind clearing till she could focus much more coldly and angrily on the man she'd -ust #een contemplating ta'ing as her first lover! )o" dared he start seducing her, "hen he "as already having an affair "ith Anthea Ma&"ell. And ho" dared he thin' he could move from mother to daughter "ithout #atting an eyelash! )er mother "ouldn't mind, he'd said! What a laugh/ $he man had no conscience "hen it came to "omen and se&/ But my 7od, she'd almost fallen right into his insatia#le lap "ith a fe" smoothly delivered lines, a fe" measly 'isses! )o" pathetic could she get. And ho" pathetic "as he, "aiting smugly for her to -oin him, arrogant in his prediction that she "ould eventually #ecome his.

Dropping her things #ac' into the car, Carolyn lifted her chin and strode determinedly #ac' to the concrete courtyard and the side of the pool! he stood #y the edge, arms folded, head held high! 8aughan sa" her, stopped s"imming and loo'ed up! )is eyes narro"ed "hen he encountered her stance and the stony mas' she'd pulled do"n over her recently aroused face! "Let me guess," he dra"led #itterly! "*ou've changed your mind a#out -oining me!" "$hat's right," she #it out! "And % thin' you 'no" "hy! %'m only glad % came to my senses in time! % suggest you go #ac' to #edding "ido"s, 8aughan! $hey might #e a#le to handle your #rand of se&ual conduct! % 'no" % never could!" +ace tight and hard, he stood up in the "ater li'e an angry 0eptune, "ater streaming from his #eautiful #ron4ed #ody! "% haven't #een #edding "ido"s! 0ot since % met you! 0o" stop #eing a silly ninny," he gro"led, "and get yourself into this pool! $his is the "rong "eather to #e playing games!" When she didn't move a muscle!!!she'd #een fro4en #y the sight of his almost na'ed "et #ody he made an impatient sound and #egan moving purposefully across to the steps at the shallo" end of the pool! 6anic sei4ed Carolyn at the thought that he "as going to try to physically persuade her stay! 9no"ing that he pro#a#ly could, she "hirled and started running! )e caught her at the car, spinning her round and slamming her against the door! "Why are you doing this, Carolyn. Why. %s this some sort of revenge. $o torment me "ith glimpses of the real you, the very desira#le real you!!!$o "het my appetite, inflame my desire, then run a"ay, leaving me in torment!" "*ou're mad/" she flung #ac' at him, all the "hile trying to t"ist her face out of his iron grasp! "%!!!% haven't #een doing any such thing!" ")aven't you. Well, in that case "hat % 'eep seeing and feeling must #e the genuine article! hall "e test it. hall "e see if Carolyn's desire is a ploy, or the real McCoy." "0o, don't/" )er struggles against him "ere stupid, his "ater slic'ed #ody ru##ing against hers, sending a thousand messages along her nerve(endings to her #rain! he felt her nipples harden #etrayingly, felt a flood of "armth and desire #et"een her thighs! "0o," she groaned again only a #reath #efore his mouth too' hers!

)is lips "ere hard!!!#rutal even!!!clamping on to hers and dragging them open to give his tongue full reign "ithin her mouth! 0ever had Carolyn #een 'issed li'e this! o cruelly and savagely! )is tongue plunged again and again, his hands holding her face captive #eneath the onslaught! $here "as no real pleasure for her, only "hirlpools of "ild sensation "hipping around and around in her head! he #egan to "himper "ith distress and "hen 8aughan suddenly yan'ed #ac' from her, she san', semiconscious, to the ground #eside the car! "Oh, 7od," she heard him groan as he scooped her up and cradled her against his damp #ody! Lifting her high in his arms, he carried her #ac' to the poolside and lay her gently do"n along the edge, then dipped his hand in the "ater to "ipe a cool "et palm over her face! "Carolyn, open your eyes! ay something! +or 7od's sa'e, -ust say something!" )er eyes stayed shut #ut t"o large tears tric'led from their corners do"n the sides of her face! "Don't," she so##ed! ",ust don't!!!" And she rolled a"ay from him and dre" her legs up into a tight little #all of misery! "% "on't," he assured her, his voice #lea'! "Believe me, % "on't! %!!!% don't 'no" "hat came over me! %'ve never acted li'e that "ith a "oman in my "hole life!" Because you've never needed to, Carolyn thought "retchedly as she lay there, curled up in the fetal position! $here's never #een a "oman "ho's said no to you! And if % stay here "ith you no", there never "ill #e! +or even his #rutal 'iss had aroused her un#eara#ly, had left her aching for him! lo"ly she uncurled herself and sat up! "%!!!% must go home!" "*ou can't drive all the "ay #ac' to horrified! "*es, % can! % have to!" "Carolyn, #e sensi#le!!!" "% am #eing sensi#le," she said in a cold, flat voice, #ut "ithout loo'ing his "ay! he 'ne" she shouldn't have stayed in the first place, yet she had! 0o" she had to remove herself from any further temptation! And 2uic'ly! "6lease don't "orry a#out me," she "ent on, getting to her feet! "%'ve #een responsi#le for myself for a long time! %'m not going to do anything stupid! %'ll #e fine!" ydney the "ay you are no"/" he said,

"*es," he muttered! "*es, %'m sure you "ill #e! *ou are a very strong, sensi#le girl!" 0o" she did turn on him, a #itter laugh escaping her lips! "0o, %'m not," she denied vehemently! "%'m a stupid, "ea' girl! And do you 'no" "hy. Because % do "ant you! %n every crude "ay possi#le! Which is 2uite laugha#le! Because %'m a virgin, a prissy uptight little fool "ho thought she'd save herself for the man she loved, yet here % am lusting after a man "ho's had so many "omen he's pro#a#ly lost count! )o"'s that for stupid and "ea'/" )is face t"isted "ith true anguish! "Carolyn, %!!!" )e reached out a hand! "Don't touch me/" she screamed, and 'noc'ed his hand a"ay! "Don't ever touch me again! %f you do, %!!!%'ll 'ill you/" )e stepped #ac' from her, truly shoc'ed! "*ou don't mean that!" "$ry me!" he clenched her teeth hard in her -a"! )e shoo' his head! "*ou're distraught!" "$oo damned right % am!" "*ou shouldn't #e allo"ed to drive! Let me call Maddie!" "Maddie's getting ready to go out! And %!!!am!!!fine," she #it out! "0o" move aside and let me go! And don't ring me again, either! %'ll deal "ith Maddie in future!" )e moved to stand in front of her, his face hardening! "*ou're "rong a#out me, Carolyn! % haven't had that many "omen! And you're "rong a#out yourself! $his isn't -ust lust #et"een us! $here's something more!!!" he laughed! "May#e! May#e not! But even if you "ere right, it "ouldn't ma'e any difference!" "Because the point is, there's #een one too many "omen in your life, 8aughan! One too many!!!" And "ith that, she pushed him aside and strode off! $his time he didn't come after her! C)A6$:5 :8:0

$he ne&t month "as the "orst time of Carolyn's life! 0ot even the ghastly days after her mother's #rea'do"n could rival the inner despair and distress she felt fighting this a"ful attraction for a man she couldn't!!!or shouldn't!!!have! Worst "as the 'no"ledge that she only had to lift the phone and ring him, apologi4e, confess she "anted him li'e cra4y, and he "ould pro#a#ly #e on her doorstep #efore one could say ',ac' 5o#inson'! 8aughan later "as not #ac'"ard in coming for"ard "here "illing "omen "ere concerned! )o" many times did her hand hover over the receiver, her heart #eating madly, her emotions in turmoil. )o" many disgusting reasons did she come up "ith to rationali4e actually doing such a dreadful thing. %t's not such a #ig deal!!!:veryone's doing it these days!!!%t's not as though you "ant to marry him!!!*our mother need never find out!!!A #rief affair and this fever "ill pro#a#ly #urn itself out!!!$han' 7od she al"ays found the courage to snatch #ac' her hand, to turn her #ac' on those "ic'edly seductive arguments! $hough she suffered for it! 0ot sleeping "ell, then stuffing herself "ith chocolates and all sorts of fattening ta'ea"ay food! he felt even "orse "hen the people at "or' started telling her ho" "ell she "as loo'ing "ith the added "eight! My 7od, she even ac2uired a 2uite envia#le #ust, "hich "as hardly "hat she had in mind! %n the end, she controlled her eating #inges and started e&ercising furiously, #ut her e&tra curves remained, her ne"ly lush #reasts and shapely #ottom moc'ing her every day in the #athroom #y their visi#le sensuality! ome of her under"ear didn't even fit her any more! When she "as finally forced to purchase some ne" #ras, Carolyn found herself gravitating to"ards the lacy half(cup variety "hich gave her a cleavage for the first time in her life! +eeling guilty #ut oddly e&cited, she lashed out on a couple of se&y #lac' ones, her guilt increasing "hen she gave in to the sales"oman's pressure to #uy matching #i'ini panties, the ones that "ere e&tra high(cut "ith lace inserts that left nothing to the imagination! he "ent home from shopping that night, 'no"ing that she hadn't #ought the erotic under"ear for her upfront sensi#le self! he had #ought it for that "ic'ed secret part that still longed to call 8aughan, that dreamed of ho" it "ould feel to have his hot #ro"n eyes on her as he undressed her "ith e&cruciating slo"ness, that ached to have his #ody move over and into hers! Out"ardly, she dressed no differently for "or'! But she "as al"ays hotly a"are that underneath, her flesh "as contained "ithin sheer lacy nothing(

nesses, and more than once she found herself flushing "ith a se&ual a"areness that #oth stirred and appalled her! At times li'e these she felt grateful for her decision not to go do"n to inspect the house any more! +or heaven alone 'ne" ho" she'd cope "ith #eing that close to 8aughan's distur#ing physical presence! Dreaming a#out him every night "as #ad enough! But to see him again in the flesh!!! Maddie had not sounded convinced over the phone that Carolyn "as too #usy to ma'e the trip every "ee'end, or that she "as more than happy to leave all the decisions up to her! But a good #usiness"oman could hardly argue "ith a client! Maddie had said, ho"ever, that she "ould e&pect Carolyn to come do"n and chec' over the furniture "hen it arrived in five or si& "ee's' time, to "hich she reluctantly agreed! Mean"hile, each day passed very slo"ly! On the +riday afternoon of the fourth "ee' after her poolside encounter "ith 8aughan, Carolyn "as alone in the office copying room, &ero&ing some documents, her mind in a #lan' da4e "ith fatigue from not sleeping "ell the night #efore, "hen a hand suddenly curved suggestively over her #ottom! 7asping, she spun round, only to encounter Maurice ,en'ins loo'ing at her "ith a decidedly lascivious e&pression on his face! "Do you mind." she snapped! $he doctor smiled and remained standing in front of her, spreading his arms on either side of the copier so that she "as effectively imprisoned! Come on, Carolyn," he dra"led! "% reali4e modern young ladies are e&pected to act affronted "hen a guy ma'es a pass at them, #ut underneath "e #oth ' no" you don't mind! %'ve #een 2uietly "atching you, honey, and you'd have to #e the se&iest thing on t"o legs in this hospital! %'ve no idea ho" % didn't notice #efore!" )is smile "idened smugly! "Besides, % "as tal'ing to one of your "or'(mates yesterday and she told me that BMW you're driving around #elongs to your ne" rich step(daddy "ho's overseas on his honeymoon! o % said to myself, "hy did Carolyn imply to me the other "ee' that she'd spent a hot "ee'end "ith some "ealthy #oyfriend. $he only logical ans"er "as that she "anted me to 'no" she li'ed #eing sho"n a good time, that she "as availa#le for some fun and games "ith the right sort of man!" )is arms started sliding up her arms! "Well, here % am, honey," he murmured thic'ly! "5eady, "illing and a#le! ,ust tell me "here you'd li'e me to start! )ere." One hand lifted to #rush over her stunned mouth! "Or may#e here!!!."

Both hands covered her #reasts, thum#s ru##ing over her nipples through the material of her #louse and #ra! Carolyn actually thought she "as going to #e sic'! But "ithin seconds she recognised her stomach churning as #lind rage rising "ithin her! With a strength #orn of anger and adrenaline, she pushed the doctor a"ay, then s"ung her "hole arm in a "ide circle, her open palm crac'ing him a vicious #lo" across the face! "*ou #itch/" he gasped, holding a trem#ling hand against the red "elt on his chee'! "%'ll have you fired for this, 0ot only fired/ %!!!%'ll!!!" "Oh, put a soc' in it, creep/" she said contemptuously! "% 2uit any"ay!" And "ith that she gave him another shove, sending him spra"ling into the corner in a most ungainly heap! "*ou should 'no" #etter than to tangle "ith a Mac'en4ie/" she pronounced, and marched indignantly from the room! he did 2uit! On the spot, and "ithout an ounce of real regret, only then reali4ing ho" #ored she'd #een in her -o# for some time! he "as fed up "ith filling in forms, doing endless paper"or', filing, typing, ans"ering the telephone! 8aughan had #een right in that regard! he had #een a #right student at school and really needed something more to challenge her natural intelligence than routine office "or'! Carolyn reasoned that no" her mother "as no longer a financial #urden she could ta'e some time finding another -o#, may#e even another career! *et as she emptied her des' and sa" all the sad faces around her, Carolyn did feel a momentary regret! he'd come to 'no" all her "or'(mates very "ell over the years! $heir company had filled a large chun' of her life! he "ould miss them! Of course she hadn't #een allo"ed to "al' out "ithout a confrontation "ith Matron and the administration head, "ho demanded to 'no" the real truth #ehind her hasty resignation! he told them! %n no uncertain terms! $hey "eren't surprised! $hey "ere even sympathetic and apologetic! But they didn't try too hard to persuade her to stay! 0either did they suggest that Dr ,en'ins "ould #e disciplined in any "ay! $here "as certainly no suggestion that he might #e as'ed to leave instead of her! $he "orld didn't "or' that "ay! By the time Carolyn made it out to the BMW shortly after four o'cloc', dou#t and depression had #egun to ta'e hold! May#e she had #een hasty in 2uitting so precipitately! 0o" she didn't even have a -o# to distract her from thin'ing

a#out 8aughan, and there "ere three "ee's to go till her mother and ,ulian arrived #ac' from :urope! As "ell as that, on the drive #ac' to Ashfield, the radio program she s"itched on started discussing the appalling state of unemployment, and Carolyn realised she might not find another -o# all that 2uic'ly! O9, so she had some savings! But not all that much! And from no" on she "ould have to pay for the "hole rent of the flat herself! )er mother's contri#ution from her pension "ould #e a thing of the past! $he sight of a couple of overseas postcards cheered her up enormously! $hey "eren't the having come from London and Amsterdam needed to hear from her mother today, remem#ered! stic'ing out of her letter(#o& first she had received, others and Cologne! But she really needed to feel loved and

)er spirits revived, she pulled them out of the #o&, staring delightedly at the pictures of 6aris as she hurried up the flight of stairs to her door! Once inside, she thre" the rest of her things do"n on a chair and flopped on to the sofa, turning over the :iffel $o"er to read "hat her mother had "ritten on the other side! Darling, )aving a marvelous time! 6aris is so romantic/ %'ve #ought you some perfume and a fe" other goodies % hope you'll li'e! Missing you terri#ly! ,ulian has some good ne"s for you! At least, % thin' it's good! % hope you do too! 6lease don't say no/ %t's "hat "e #oth "ant! Lots of love and 'isses, Mum! $ears pric'ed at Carolyn's eyes! Mum sounds so happy, she thought "ith real -oy! But "hat is this good ne"s she tal's a#out. ,ulian's much larger card "as flipped over eagerly! My dear Carolyn! *ou'll never guess "hat %'ve done! %'ve told %sa#el a#out the house/ % -ust couldn't 'eep it to myself last night! We'd had a fe" glasses of champagne and "ere telling each other all our deep dar' secrets!!!as tipsy people do!!!and % -ust #lurted it out/ Aren't % a duffer. Any"ay, %sa#el "as thrilled to #its, though once %'d e&plained "here the house "as and ho" far from Ashfield her lovely face fell! What a#out my Carolyn. she cried! %'ll never see her/ he can come and live "ith us, % said! Well, %'ve never seen my darling so radiant! he "as #eside herself! o % promised to ma'e you 2uit that dreary -o# of yours and come live "ith us in Wollongong! Don't "orry a#out getting another -o#! % have so many connections do"n the south coast you "on't have any trou#le! o if you're in agreement!!!as % feel sure you "ill #e!!!put in your resignation, give the estate agent your notice to 2uit the flat and start pac'ing/

Actually, you're "elcome to move in to the ne" house as soon as it's ha#ita#le, "hich, if things are on schedule, should #e at the end of ne&t "ee'! ;uite fran'ly, it "ould #e good for security if you did! )ate to come home and find the stove and micro"ave missing! 0o" don't let that very conservative nature of yours get in the "ay of all these great ne" plans! $hey "on't miss you at the hospital! 0o one's indispensa#le, you 'no"! $hough % thin' you might #e to your mother's happiness/ 0o" don't 2ui##le! Do something cra4y and carefree for once! ee you first "ee' in April! *our loving step(papa, ,ulian! A "hole array of emotions coursed through Carolyn as she read the letter! ,oy!!!she "ould li'e nothing #etter than to live "ith her Mother and ,ulian in that #eautiful home! 5elief!!!she no longer had to "orry a#out a -o#, or the rent of the flat! But alongside the -oy and relief "as dismay! Wollongong "as "here 8aughan lived!!! And then came a panic'y confusion! %f ,ulian had told %sa#el a#out the house, "ouldn't he have mentioned 8aughan's name. %f he had, surely her mother "ouldn't have sounded so happy!!! Of course, she finally sighed "ith grim understanding! ,ulian hadn't mentioned 8aughan's name! *et! )e hadn't "hen tal'ing "ith herself a#out the house either, -ust calling 8aughan 'the architect', or merely 'he'! )er mother o#viously had no idea "ho the designer of her ne" home "as! But for ho" long "ould that situation last. 6erhaps, if Carolyn "as luc'y, %sa#el "ouldn't find out, and as soon as they got home she'd "hisper some very clever "hite lies in ,ulian's ear to avoid disaster! What clever "hite lies. she groaned! Carolyn "as mulling over the sort of plausi#le story she could invent "hen her telephone rang! %mmediately, her nerves "ere on full alert! he rarely got phone calls! And the last time it had #een 8aughan!!! 5ather reluctantly she stood up and "al'ed over to the telephone ta#le, staring do"n at the receiver for a second #efore snatching it up as if it "ere a sna'e a#out to stri'e! "*es." she said a#ruptly! "Dear me," Maddie sighed! "*ou're in no #etter mood than 8aughan #y the sound of you/"

"Maddie/" Carolyn said "ith smiling relief! "0o" that's #etter! Ma'es me almost glad % rang you!" "Why are you ringing me." Carolyn as'ed! "Did the furniture come earlier than you e&pected." ")uh/ 0ot li'ely! $hough "e did lay the carpet and slate this "ee' and put in all the light fittings! o there is something for you to see if you "ould li'e to change your mind and come do"n! 0ot only that, %'m having a fe" people over tomorro" night for drin's and a #it of a shindig, and %'m al"ays on the loo'out for ne" #lood and thought of you! Would you li'e to come." Carolyn's heart -umped! "*es, % "ould," she admitted! $hen added! "But not if 8aughan's going to #e there!" "Mr! Anti(6arty. 7ood 7od, he's never graced one of my dos in all the years %'ve 'no"n him! % al"ays as', -ust to see "hat ne" e&cuse he can come up "ith not to come! Do you 'no" "hat it is this time. )e has to "or'! 0o" isn't that original/ 0o, dear heart, you're safe from the clutches of the evil "arlord of architecture! )e's not on the rampage this "ee'end! o "hat do you say. *ou can sleep the night at my place! $hat "ay you can have a fe" little drin'ies!" Carolyn laughed! Maddie "as so good for her spirits/ "*ou've tal'ed me into it!" "7ood! hall "e say noon at the house." "%sn't noon a #it early. We'll #e finished #y one and then you'll have to put up "ith me for the rest of the afternoon!" "Oh, don't "orry a#out that." Maddie said airily! "%'ll thin' of something for us to do! ee you tomorro", then! And #ring something sna44y to "ear for the evening! My parties are definitely not attended #y the -eans and $ shirt set! ee you! Bye/" he rang off a#ruptly, leaving Carolyn dithering over "hat she should #ring to "ear! %n the end, she dismissed "orrying a#out it! ince 8aughan "asn't going to #e there, feasting on her "ith moc'ing yet hungry eyes, she figured she could -ust a#out "ear anything, even the form(hugging red sheath she'd "orn to %sa#el's "edding! After all, "hatever she "ore "ould loo' tame ne&t to Maddie's no dou#t outrageous outfit!

aturday da"ned cloudy in ydney #ut as Carolyn drove south"ards the clouds dissipated and the sun appeared, #athing the coastline in a mild March heat! Maddie "as "aiting for her at the house, even though she "asn't late, and they "ere through their inspecting #y t"elve(thirty! "%t's going to #e a fantastic house," Carolyn complimented as they "al'ed together #ac' to their cars! "*es! 8aughan's outdone himself this time! 0ot that every one of his houses isn't special! But this is!!!more special, % thin'! Of course, he li'ed ,ulian enormously, and that al"ays ma'es you "ant to do #etter for the client!" ",ulian's a terrific man," Carolyn agreed! "But it's not -ust 8aughan "hose "or' is "onderful! *ou're pretty good yourself, Maddie! $hose old #rass colonial light fittings loo' great! *et the rest of the place is either modern or faintly :uropean! % "ould never have thought such a range of styles could #e #lended so successfully! But you've managed it to perfection!" "*es, % thought so too," she preened "ithout sounding at all vain! "%'m going to en-oy living in it," Carolyn said, and "aited, smiling, for all Maddie's inevita#le 2uestions! $hey came in a rush! "But that's simply marvelous/" the other "oman enthused finally! "0o" "e can really #ecome friends "ith your living so close! %'ll help you move in as soon as the furniture comes! And if you get desperate for a -o#, you can "or' for me as my receptionist! %'m doing "ell enough to hire a permanent one no"! %'ve #een ma'ing do "ith temps!" Carolyn hesitated! %ntuitive Maddie needed no further e&planation! "Aah!!!$oo close to the dreaded 8aughan!" he sighed! "One of these days, you'll have to tell me "hat "ent on there! %f you don't %'m going to die of curiosity!" Carolyn laughed! "% can't imagine you dying of anything!" "0o. Boredom might do me in! % can't stand not Being #usy! o/ Are you going to do "hat % as'ed or not." "What "as that." %f she meant tell her a#out 8aughan, then she "ould have to #e disappointed! As much as Carolyn valued her gro"ing friendship "ith this "ay(out, "onderfully "arm lady, she "asn't ready for such confidences yet! 6erhaps one day!!!

"Why, pose for that painting, of course/" Maddie said e&asperatedly! "*ou must have 'no"n %'d as' again sooner or later, and "e have plenty of time to get started this afternoon! $he light's good and you're loo'ing!!!" )er sharp eyes ran over Carolyn again, dressed at that moment in loose "hite cotton pants and a colorful #louse "hich flo"ed out over her hips! A dar' fro"n settled on Maddie's vi#rant face! "Carolyn," she said in a lo", trou#led voice, "you're not pregnant, are you. *ou and 8aughan didn't!!!er!!!." he "riggled her #lac' "inged eye#ro"s and e&pressive hands in a suggestive fashion! "0o/" came her indignant #ut slightly guilty denial! $here #ut for the grace of 7od!!!"But % have #een eating li'e a little piggy lately," she confessed on a groan! "% guess %'m lonely "ith Mum a"ay so long! Do % loo' terri#le." "+ar from it! *ou have more up here!!!" )ands "aved across her chest! "And here!!!" Maddie patted her o"n #ottom! "Which is great, since %'d li'e to paint a rear vie"!" "A rear vie"." "Oh, yes, men find that very erotic! And men #uy my nudes! % "on't have any trou#le selling your painting, #elieve me, and you "on't mind #ecause no one'll ever 'no" it's you/" "*es, #ut!!!" "%'ll pay you, of course! tandard model's fees!" "%t's not the money, Maddie! %'m -ust not sure %'d #e a#le to ta'e my clothes off and stand there li'e that in!!!" "Lie," Maddie interrupted #ris'ly! Carolyn #lin'ed her confusion! "*ou'll #e lying do"n! On your side! On a red satin sheet," she added "ith a gleeful smile and a little shiver of o#vious delight! "With your hair all spread out! Oooh, it gives me goose(#umps -ust thin'ing a#out ho" smashing it's going to #e! My #est yet, %'ll "arrant! %'ll sell it for a mint! 7o on, please say you'll do it! 6lease, please, pretty please!" Carolyn's first instinct "as still to refuse! But Maddie put such a doleful appealing loo' into her eyes, she -ust couldn't!

he shoo' her head, a rueful smile on her face! "All right! *ou've conned me into it! But no payment, please! %'m doing this as a gesture of friendship! $hough, #elieve me, there "ill #e no repeat performances from the front/" "Agreed/ 0o" follo" me closely! Can't have my most e&citing model to date getting lost!" Maddie's place "as an old "eather(#oard house "hich had #een startlingly refur#ished in Maddie's inimita#le personal style of clear #right colors and more than a healthy dose of #lac'! %f anyone had told Carolyn that a #lac' and red #athroom could loo' terrific she "ould have thought them mad! But a did/ Or, at least, it did in Maddie's house! By the time she'd finished the grand tour, ho"ever, Carolyn "as glad that Maddie "atered do"n her personal taste "hen it came to other people's homes! Once she'd made the necessary complimentary comments a#out the decor, Carolyn "as ushered through to the #ac' of the house "here a glassedin veranda had #een converted into an artist's studio! $he #each lay less than fifty meters from the #ac' door and the light "as, indeed, e&cellent! Carolyn gulped "hen her eyes moved to the #ed(li'e divan that lay across one end of the veranda! 0o dou#t this "as "here she "ould #e lying! he tried to picture it covered "ith red satin and herself spread out in a seductive pose for a couple of hours, totally nude! )er stomach churned and she gna"ed nervously at her #ottom lip! Why on earth had she agreed. "We'll have a spot of lunch first," Maddie announced #rightly! "And then "e'll get to "or'!" trangely enough, Carolyn didn't have as much trou#le stripping off as she thought she "ould have! When it came to models, Maddie "as all professional, treating Carolyn and her #ody "ith the impersonality of a doctor! $hough she did leave a #ath(ro#e for Carolyn "ithin easy reach! And of course, it "as a lot easier having any scrutini4ing eyes #ehind her, rather than ga4ing at her full frontal nudity! Once Maddie had posed Carolyn into the position she "anted!!!one arm stretched up under her head, the other draped over her hip, her hair out in full!!!she retreated to "or' in silence, leaving Carolyn to close her eyes and rela&! $here "as no point in 'eeping them open, since she "as loo'ing at a #lan', #lac'(papered "all! After a good "hile Carolyn found herself on the edge of sleep! he possi#ly "ould have drifted right off, if Maddie hadn't spo'en up! ")ave you told 8aughan the ne"s a#out your moving into the house." she as'ed! "0o, don't move/ Damn! Loo' forget % said that! tupid of me! *ou've gone all tight in the shoulders! ,ust rela& again, "ill you. We'll tal' a#out 8aughan later! $hin' of something pleasant instead, something soft and dreamy!!!"

Carolyn did her level #est! And she must have succeeded! On the surface! ince Maddie didn't complain further! But if her e&terior seemed rela&ed, her interior certainly "asn't! )aving 8aughan catapulted #ac' into her mind li'e that e&humed all the "orrying possi#ilities that the move to Wollongong "ould #ring! But Maddie "as right! 8aughan "ould have to #e informed a#out ,ulian giving her permission to move into his house #efore his return! And informed soon! $he prospect of meeting "ith 8aughan again "as daunting in the e&treme! $he only consolation to her rapidly 'notting insides "as that time might have cured 8aughan's interest in her! May#e he'd even resumed relations "ith Anthea Ma&"ell! +or despite his protest that he felt more for her than desire, Carolyn "as convinced his feelings had only #een a mi&ture of se& and ego!!!he pro#a#ly found her resistance challenging! 0othing more! $hey didn't 'no" each other "ell enough for anything deeper! What little they did 'no", they didn't even li'e/ %t had ta'en Carolyn 2uite some time, ho"ever, to accept her #rush "ith lust for "hat it "as! But she finally had, along "ith all its su#se2uently am#ivalent feelings! he no" accepted that, "hile she didn't admire the feelings 8aughan evo'ed in her, they "ere still very real feelings, "ith very real conse2uences, very real po"ers! )o" else could she e&plain her sudden pleasure in "earing se&y underclothes. Or the heated arousal in her #ody "hen she a"o'e from one of the many lurid dreams that plagued her at night. $here "as no denying she could e&perience revulsion and e&citement side #y side! elf(disgust, along "ith the most incredi#le temptation! %t "as a constant #attle, #et"een "hat she 'ne" "as right!!!and "hat she so desperately "anted!!! $o have 8aughan loo' at her once more "ith desire! $o have him touch her again! 9iss her again! $o have him do all those things to her she'd only ever read a#out, and "hich had previously made her cringe "ith em#arrassment! Carolyn suppressed a groan and literally "illed the e&plicit images from her mind! %f he had #een any other man, she agoni4ed, she might have given in to her #aser side, might have indulged her flesh "ith the sort of "ild a#andon she suspected lay "ithin her virginal #ody! Without love! Without strings! But this "asn't any other man! $his "as 8aughan later! Which meant that love and strings "ere already involved! 0ot hers! )er mother's!

Don't forget that, Carolyn, the voice of conscience reminded her! +or if you do, you'll regret it for the rest of your life/ % "on't, she vo"ed! % "on't! And "ith several deep, slo", steadying #reaths she closed her eyes again and let a soothing #lan'ness "ash over her, calming her heart#eat, cooling the flush that had come over her s'in "ith her earlier thoughts! An hour of relative peace tic'ed a"ay, the only sounds Maddie's occasional grunt or mutter! Carolyn "as relatively rela&ed "hen, all of a sudden, a pric'ling sei4ed the #ac' of her nec', the sort of sensation one got "hen certain one "as #eing surreptitiously "atched! Carolyn tried telling herself she "as #eing paranoid #ecause she'd never lain around in #road daylight in the nude #efore! %t "as pro#a#ly only Maddie's ga4e, concentrating hard to visually capture a difficult line, or curve, Maddie's #lac' eyes that she could feel #oring into the #ac' of her head, travelling slo"ly do"n her spine, lingering on the s"ell of her #ottom! But Carolyn didn't thin' so! 0othing could sha'e the suspicion that hot male eyes "ere devouring her at that very moment! %t "as very distur#ing! )er #reath #egan coming in short shallo" pants! A fine sheen of s"eat #ro'e out on her s'in! $he temptation to s"ing round and loo' over her shoulder "as e&cruciatingly strong! *et she couldn't #ring herself to do it! $he seconds tic'ed a"ay, "ith agoni4ing slo"ness! he couldn't stand the tension much longer! he -ust couldn't/ "+or 7od's sa'e/" Maddie groaned "hen Carolyn a#ruptly sat up and gra##ed the ro#e, clutching it over her #are #ody as she s"ung around, #lue eyes "ide! $hey flashed straight to the high "ide "indo"s and ran the full length of the veranda! 0o one "as there! 0ot a single solitary soul! Carolyn fro"ned! $here "asn't even a suita#le "indo" near#y for anyone to #e peering at her through #inoculars! Maddie put do"n her #rush "ith a resigned sigh! "% presume that's it for the day." "%!!!% thought someone "as "atching me!" "*ou can see, you "ere "rong!"

"*es!!!" But her heart "as still #eating madly! "*es, % suppose so," she agreed reluctantly! "Would you li'e to see "hat %'ve done so far." Carolyn dragged on the #athro#e and stood up! "*es, % "ould!" he "as staggered! Both #y ho" 2uic'ly Maddie "or'ed!!!to her ine&perienced eye the painting loo'ed almost finished!!!and #y the incredi#le sensuality that leapt off the canvas! $here "as a languidness in the pose that suggested the aftermath of a torrid session of lovema'ing! One could almost picture a soft smile of satisfaction lingering on the unseen lips of the model! But the model "as herself/ she remem#ered "ith a gasp! And she no more 'ne" "hat the aftermath of a torrid session of lovema'ing "as li'e than!!!than!!! "*ou don't li'e it," Maddie pronounced, pouting! ! Carolyn straightened her shoulders! "0o, it's #reathta'ing," she reassured! "But!!!it isn't me!" "Oh, it's you all right, Carolyn! $he you you 'eep hidden from yourself, as "ell as everyone else! But not for much longer, %'ll "arrant!" "What!!!"hat do you mean." "Come no"," came the dra"led reply! "*ou and % #oth 'no" you're going to have an affair "ith 8aughan sooner or later! %t's -ust a 2uestion of ho" long you'll hold out!" C)A6$:5 :%7)$ Carolyn "as surprised to find herself en-oying the party that night! Maddie's prophecy of doom had haunted her for the rest of the afternoon, even though she'd pooh(poohed the idea at the time "ith a suita#le amount of firm indifference! Maddie had simply shrugged and said, 'We'll see' "ith an infuriating smugness! But #y the time a fe" hours had passed and Maddie had funneled several lethal(loo'ing coc'tails do"n Carolyn's throat, the future "asn't loo'ing 2uite so "orrying! Carolyn even succum#ed to Maddie ma'ing up her face, though she refused to let her curl her hair!

"%t's #ad enough, leaving it out," she'd stated! And no", it "as ten o'cloc', the party "as in full s"ing, and Carolyn "as discoing "ith a tall thin chap "ho'd #een eyeing her since he arrived! A local dentist, he "as a surprisingly good dancer, and had succeeded in getting the normally inhi#ited Carolyn to really open up! $hough perhaps her lac' of reserve "as due to the couple of glasses of Chardonnay that had follo"ed the earlier coc'tails rather than her partner's s'ill! $he music a#ruptly changed to an even more foot(tapping num#er and more people got to their feet! $he room #ecame so cro"ded that Carolyn and the dentist and several other couples spilled out on to the #ac' veranda, "hich Maddie had than'fully cleared of all painting e2uipment and half finished nudes! ")ey, you're great/" the dancing dentist complimented "hen Carolyn e&ecuted a couple of the more adventurous steps she'd seen on television! "*ou're not too #ad yourself," she called #ac' over the loudly thro##ing #eat! "%'ve never seen you at one of Maddie's parties #efore!" "%'ve never #een/" "*ou married." "0ope!" ":ngaged." "0ot at the moment!" "%nvolved "ith anyone." Carolyn opened her mouth to ans"er! And fro4e! 8aughan "as standing in the arch"ay leading out on to the veranda, staring at her, a tight hard loo' on his face! he gulped, one hand lifting to nervously push several long #londe trails of hair #ac' from her face and shoulders, all the "hile hotly conscious of 8aughan's piercing #ro"n eyes ta'ing in everything a#out her, from her loosely flo"ing hair to her ela#orately made(up face to her ne"ly lush curves, hardly hidden in the no" much tighter red cr>pe sheath! "What's up." )er partner's head s"iveled on his shoulders to encounter 8aughan's none too pleased glare! "Oh!!!oh," he muttered! "% 'ne" it "as too good to #e true! $he #oyfriend, % gather."

Carolyn #lin'ed! $hen rallied! +or pity's sa'e, "hat "as the matter "ith her. +ancy letting 8aughan spoil her fun li'e this/ But despite her self(criticism she could not seem to resume dancing in front of him! An agitated sound escaped her lips! 6erhaps it "ould #e #etter if she "ent over and spo'e to him, told him her ne"s a#out moving into ,ulian's house! After all, it had to #e done eventually! What #etter place than here, in a cro"ded room. ")e's not my #oyfriend," she informed her companion! "Merely a #usiness ac2uaintance! One % didn't e&pect to see here tonight! %'m sorry, #ut % must spea' to him! Can "e continue this dance later." "Why does something tell me that later "ill never come." he said "ith a resigned sigh! "6essimist," Carolyn laughed! "0o, a realist! Oh, "ell!!!" )e "as already searching the cro"d for any spare females! Carolyn 'ept her chin up as she "al'ed the short distance across the veranda to"ards 8aughan! Contrary to Maddie's insistence that people did not come to her parties in -eans and a $ shirt, 8aughan "as "earing -ust that! $he -eans "ere greyish, the $ shirt "hite! Both clung li'e second s'ins! Carolyn s"allo"ed! 0o" she 'ne" "hat her girlfriends had seen in him all those years ago! But the more her heart hammered in her chest, the more she "as determined to control her unfortunate "ea'ness for this man's #ody! "8aughan," she said "ith super# coolness! "What #rings you here. Maddie said you "ere "or'ing tonight!" )e someho" slid his hands into the poc'ets of his -eans, even though Carolyn "ould have s"orn there couldn't possi#ly #e any room! "% "as," he said! "But % couldn't concentrate!" "Can % get you a drin'." she as'ed, her tone perfectly civil, #ut icily distant! $oo #ad she couldn't do much a#out her flushed chee's! $hough she rec'oned he "ould put them do"n to dancing, not desire! "8aughan/ *ou came/" Maddie materiali4ed #eside them, a tall #luish coc'tail in one hand, a #eer in the other! he "as "earing a long #lac' %ndian caftan, "hich at first glance "as astonishingly modest for Maddie, till one noticed the lacy side panels and lac' of under"ear! ")o" dare you snea' in "ithout

letting me 'no"." she chided playfully, though "ith a 2uic' fro"ning glance at Carolyn! When she received an apparently indifferent shrug in return, Maddie visi#ly rela&ed! "% 'noc'ed," 8aughan said, his eyes never leaving Carolyn's face! "But you didn't ans"er!" ")ere, have this #eer! orry, #ut % can't hear anyone at the front door from the #ac' of the house!" " o % finally gathered," he muttered, e&tracting his hands to ta'e the #eer and sip some of the froth from the top! )is eyes didn't desert Carolyn's for more than a second! When he lo"ered the glass, a "hite dollop stayed on his upper lip, dra"ing her ga4e! he found herself staring at his mouth! When the tip of his tongue flic'ed out and "iped the dollop slo"ly a"ay, her "hole stomach turned over! "0ot that anyone could hear anything much over that music," he added dryly! Carolyn #ristled! "%t's good dancing music!" "% could see that!" )is eyes dropped do"n the full length of her, then up again! "Watching you dance "as 2uite an!!!e&perience!" he laughed! %t provided a minimal release to the e&cruciating tension that "as gripping her "hole #ody! "What a predicta#ly male comment/" "Oh, dear," Maddie groaned! "*ou t"o aren't going to fight again, are you." "$hat certainly "asn't my intention in coming here," 8aughan snapped! "$han' 7od for that! 0o"!!!Who "as % getting this drin' for. Aah, yes!!!Melissa! Don't "orry, Melissa, darling," she called #ac' into the house! "% haven't forgotten you/ 0o" you #e nice to Carolyn, you #rute," Maddie "arned as she moved off, "or you'll have me to ans"er to/" Once she "as alone "ith 8aughan, even the roc' music couldn't prevent the harro"ing effect of a strained silence #et"een them! %n the end, Carolyn could not #ear 8aughan's dar', intensely provocative ga4e any longer! "What is it you 'eep staring at." she challenged, pushing another "ay"ard strand of hair #ac' #ehind her ear! "Where "ould you li'e me to start." he as'ed, sounding almost angry! And definitely reproachful!

"% thought you said you didn't "ant a fight! %f you start pic'ing on me or my appearance again, % can assure you you'll get one!" )e made a scoffing sound! "Well, you have to admit that it's hard to compare the prim, grey suited virgin of a fe" "ee's ago "ith the scarlet(gar#ed rager you've turned into tonight! $hough perhaps you have a ne" se&ual status to go "ith your ne" loo'!" he suc'ed in a furious, sha'ing #reath, e&pelling it in a rush of hot air and angry "ords! ")o" dare you use that -udgmental tone "ith me." she hissed! "*ou, "ho "ouldn't 'no" right from "rong if it #it you on the nose! *ou, "ho sleep "ith every "oman "ho flutters her eyelashes at you! *ou, "hose idea of moral restraint is to "ait till a man dies #efore you scre" his "ife/" he scraped in another ragged lung(full of air! "%f you must 'no", my se&ual status hasn't changed one iota! $hough "hat "ould it matter to a man li'e you if % "ere a virgin or not." she thre" at him! "Why the hell should you care." +or a long long moment he said nothing, merely glared at her over his drin'! $hen 2uite a#ruptly, he put do"n the #eer on a near#y shelf and reached out to ta'e hold of her shoulders, peering do"n at her "ith steely eyes! "Because % do care," he insisted! "Why, %'ve no idea, since you patently despise me! But that doesn't seem to stop my mind filling "ith your image every "a'ing moment, doesn't stop my #ody aching to touch you, 'iss you, ma'e love to you! 7oddammit, Carolyn," he grated out, his fingers digging deep into her shoulder #lades! "% "ant you! And % 'no" you "ant me! *ou damned "ell told me you do/" he stared up at him, eyes "ide, heart pounding! Don't listen to him, her conscience screamed at her! And don't, for pity's sa'e, admit to another darned thing! ")o"!!!ho" did you 'no" %'d #e here." she as'ed sha'ily! )er change of su#-ect thre" him momentarily! "Does it matter." Maddie, she thought! he must have rung 8aughan "hile % "as in the sho"er! 7od, %'ll 'ill her/ "All that matters," 8aughan gro"led impatiently, "is that you put aside all these ridiculously old fashioned pre-udices you have against me and face

facts! $here's a chemistry #et"een us, Carolyn, that "on't #e denied! %'m fed up "ith fighting it!!!and you/ for no good reason!" Carolyn "renched a"ay from his hold and pulled herself up straight, anger giving her the strength to struggle against the insidious temptation he 'ept putting in her path! "0o good reason," she scorned "ith a lo", #itter laugh! "0o" isn't that -ust li'e you, 8aughan later! But, contrary to your free(and(easy values, %'ll have you 'no" that there "ould #e a lot of girls!!!not old(fashioned ones either!!!"ho "ould #al' at going to #ed "ith their mother's e&(lover, no matter ho" much they desired him/" )as head roc'ed #ac' as though she had struc' him! "My 7od," he e&claimed in a hus'y "hisper! Before she could do anything to stop him, he stepped for"ard and cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to loo' deep into his eyes! "Carolyn," he stated firmly! "% did not sleep "ith your mother! % never slept "ith your mother! )ell!!!no "onder you've #een upset and angry "ith me! % had no idea you thought!!!" )is e&pression dar'ened to one of #lac' e&asperation and his hands dropped from her face! "Did %sa#el claim %'d actually slept "ith her." he demanded to 'no"! "0!!!no," she stammered, trying desperately to ma'e some sense of this most astonishing assertion! "But!!!#ut!!!"hat a#out "hat % sa" that night. *ou "ere #oth only half dressed! *ou "ere 'issing each other!!!touching! *ou didn't even 'no" % "as there/ My 7od, you can't e&pect me to #elieve you didn't ma'e love/" "But "e didn't/ % s"ear to you, Carolyn! %'m not lying! Bloody hell," he groaned, and ra'ed agitated fingers through his hair! "*ou did 'iss her," she accused, un"illing and una#le to let go the #lac' image of this man she had #uilt up! )is #eing #ad "as her protection! )is grimace "as as good as a confession in Carolyn's eyes! "Loo', you don't understand! %'d -ust finished my final e&ams that day and "hen % carne home %sa#el had!!!Well, she!!!" )e #ro'e off and shot Carolyn a frustrated loo', muttering something under his #reath! )is sigh, "hen it carne, "as ragged! "% suppose % can't honestly say "hat might have happened if % hadn't heard the sound of a door #anging!"

A door #anging!!! Carolyn thought of herself, fleeing from the house in great distress, letting the "ire door slam #ehind her! "% thought it might #e you," he ela#orated! "$he idea of your catching me "ith your mother the "ay "e "ere appalled me, #ut!!!" )e #ro'e off again, his face sho"ing more frustration! "%sa#el s"ore it couldn't #e you home yet from #allet, and "hen % loo'ed through the house it "as empty! But still, %!!!"e!!!couldn't continue! % certainly never!!!" uddenly one of the gyrating partygoers 'noc'ed violently into Carolyn's #ac'! 8aughan eased her a"ay from the apologi4ing dancer, irritation on his face! "Loo', % can't even hear myself thin' in here "ith that music, let alone all this pushing and shoving! Let's get out of here! We'll go to my place "here "e can at least tal' in peace!" )is place. )e "anted her to go to his place, "here they'd #e alone together. Why not. the voice of temptation sil'ily inserted! )e's -ust told you he "asn't your mother's lover! Wasn't that the main impediment against your ris'ing #eing alone in his company. Well, yes!!! And no!!! "What a#out the #oard money." she #lurted out! "$he #oard money." )e simply stared at her in #lan' confusion! "What in heaven's name are you tal'ing a#out." "*ou didn't pay," she "ent on in a rush, her heart pounding madly! "$hose last fe" months you stayed at our place! *ou didn't pay! Why didn't you pay." 8aughan's sigh "as an angry one! "% did pay!" )e shoo' his head slo"ly from side to side! "Oh, Carolyn, Carolyn!!!-ust ho" lo" an opinion of me do you have. Loo', the situation "as that my father died that year and all of a sudden there "asn't any money to supplement my government student su#sidy, "hich hardly covered my #oo's and general living e&penses! % told %sa#el % could no longer afford the #oard "e'd agreed on and that % "ould have to move to cheaper digs! he insisted that % stay and -ust pay "hat % could! % got some local "or' mo"ing la"ns and gardening, and handed over "hatever

% earned in cash! % did not pay for my #oard "ith the sort of services you've o#viously #een envisaging," he finished "ith a hefty dose of #itter reproach! Carolyn didn't 'no" "hether to feel ashamed, or ecstatic! All she 'ne" "as that a great "eight had #een lifted from her heart! "Do % rate an apology at last." he ground out! "Well %!!!%!!!" "%t's gratifying to see that % rattle you almost as much as you rattle me! Come, Carolyn," he gro"led, ta'ing her "rist in an ?ron grip, ""e've tortured each other long enough! %t's time to #ring this fiasco to its natural conclusion!" "7iving her #ody an all encompassing and highly stirring loo', he started dragging her da4ed self through the dancing drin'ing laughing throng, till a tall #lac' figure moved a#ruptly into their path! "And "here do you thin' you're ta'ing Carolyn." Maddie demanded "ith arched eye#ro"s! ")ome," came 8aughan's #rus' reply! "*our home or her home." "Mine," he snapped! "Any o#-ections." Maddie thre" Carolyn a sharp loo', ta'ing in her high color and the rapid rise and fall of her #reasts! A "ry smile tugged at her scarlet(glossed mouth! "0ot if the lady hasn't!!!" " he hasn't," 8aughan #it out! " he has a tongue of her o"n, doesn't she. Well, Carolyn. Do you "ant to go "ith this!!!0eanderthal." Carolyn "as ta'en a#ac' #y the slightly an&ious light in her friend's eyes! )o" odd, she thought #reathlessly! )adn't this #een Maddie's intention in getting 8aughan to come. )adn't she #een playing matchma'er #ehind her #ac'. Why should she "orry no" if 8aughan "anted to ta'e her off and ma'e mad, passionate love to her. Carolyn's mind raced #ac' over her last "ords! Ma'e mad, passionate love!!!

A compulsive com#ination of e&citement and anticipation charged through her #ody, and she 'ne" that nothing and no one could stop her from going "ith 8aughan at that moment! "*es," she cho'ed out! "% do!" %f anything, Maddie's an&iety increased, confusing Carolyn all the more! But then the other "oman shrugged, as though resigned to the inevita#le! " o #e it," she nodded! "But #efore you go!!!" "eeping over to her #uilt(in #lac' #ar, she returned "ith a #ottle of champagne, pressing the chilled #ottle into Carolyn's free hand! "0othing li'e champagne to ma'e a party s"ing along," she laughed! ":ven if it is a private one!" Leaning close, she "hispered! "Be careful, s"eetie! ,ust an affair, remem#er. Don't fall in love "ith him!" Carolyn had no time to comment #efore 8aughan s"ept her a"ay and out into the night! C)A6$:5 0%0: Maddie had #een overly critical of 8aughan's home, Carolyn thought da4edly "hen the maroon M7 screeched into the drive"ay of a #eautiful old "ooden house "ith high(pitched ceilings, huge verandas all around and the most entrancing stained glass "indo"s! Admittedly, the cream paint("or' needed redoing, and the la"ns and gardens could have done "ith some attention! But the house had true charm and grandeur, perched as it "as on the highest point of a cliff overloo'ing the 6acific Ocean and the cutest little #each Carolyn had ever seen! $houghts of houses, ho"ever, "ere dashed from Carolyn's mind "hen 8aughan strode round to "rench open the passenger door, giving her a searing glance #efore e&tending a large, very male hand! he s"allo"ed, her much smaller softer fingers sha'ing as she placed them "ithin his strong, aggressive grip! 0ot a "ord had passed #et"een them on the short trip over, the silence emphasi4ing the mad pounding of her heart! %t leapt "hen she felt his fingers close tightly around her hand, a spurt of adrenaline charging through her #ody! Did she really 'no" "hat she "as doing. Or didn't she care any more. he certainly didn't seem to! omeho", 8aughan's revealing he had not #een her mother's lover had let go the floodgates of her passion, so long dammed #ac'

#y her conscience! he raised fluttering lashes to his #eautiful yet ruthlessly determined eyes, fro"ning as Maddie's "arning flashed #ac' into her mind! Will % fall in love "ith him if % do this. she "ondered in a panic! % don't "ant to! % mustn't/ ,ust #ecause he never made love to my mother doesn't "ipe out the fact that she loved him and had a nervous #rea'do"n over him! $here's no permanent place in my life for this man! "Don't loo' so "orried," he muttered! "% don't #ite! We'll!!!" )is slo" smile "as incredi#ly se&y! "Only gently, and only "here re2uired!" )e laughed at her furious #lush, then hauled her out of the car, gathering her to him in a #reathlessly close em#race! "7od, % "ant you," he rasped, and she actually felt him shudder! "$o thin' that the only thing standing #et"een us all these "ee's "as a stupid misunderstanding!!!" 7roaning, he pulled her even closer, holding the #ac' of her head "hile he covered her mouth "ith a hungry 'iss, sending his tongue #et"een her gasping lips in a passionate sortie "ith her o"n! %t "as ages #efore he let her come up for air! "Much as %'d li'e to continue," he sighed raggedly! "% thin' % should go for a short s"im first! %'ve #een "or'ing all day! Well!!!trying to "or'," he amended "ith a lo" sensual chuc'le! "% "ant to feel cool and clean and in much #etter control "hen % finally ma'e love to you, my darling! $his is a moment for perfection, not some hurried tum#le on the grass!" Carolyn's mind "hirled "ith his evocative "ords! And then "ith another of his 'isses! A slo"er one his time, infinitely slo"er, yet deeper and more intimate and e&cruciatingly stirring! "$ell me you'll deny me nothing," he urged fiercely! "$ell me you'll let me do all the things %'ve #een "anting to do to you!" tunned #y the alarming content and sheer intensity of his "ords, she could do nothing #ut #lin' gla4ed eyes at him! "%'ve shoc'ed you," he muttered, regret in his voice! And #ent to give her a softer, gentler 'iss! " orry!!!% 'eep forgetting ho" innocent you are!!!ho" s"eetly delightfully irritatingly innocent!" )is smile "as an odd mi&ture of apology and irony! "%'ll go more slo"ly from no" on! *ou don't have to #e frightened! % "on't hurt you! % promise!!!Come!!!Let's put this champagne on ice and go for that s"im together!" Of course he "ould hurt her, Carolyn agoni4ed as he led her up the old stone steps! %f not physically, then certainly emotionally! But that "as the price she "ould have to pay for this one insane, glorious night "ith him!

$he inside of the house proved to #e as untidy as Maddie had predicted! 0ot that Carolyn gave a hoot a#out a little mess at that moment! he "ouldn't have cared if 8aughan had thro"n her do"n in a pigsty and ta'en her in the mud, so #esotted "as she #y the feelings his 'isses had evo'ed in her! )er heart "as #eating li'e a thousand #utterflies' "ings! )er "hole #ody felt li'e it "as on a perpetual high, every nerve(ending seemingly electrified! 8aughan put the #ottle of champagne in the fridge in the colonial(style 'itchen, then led her #ac' through the littered living(room do"n the airy hall"ay and into a relatively tidy #edroom! )e left her standing #eside the huge #rass #ed!!!"hich "as, surprisingly, made!!!and "al'ed over to a solid mahogany chest of dra"ers! Without hesitation, he stripped off his $(shirt and -eans and thre" them over a chair, standing in front of her 2uite unconsciously in #rief navy underpants "hile he fished out his "hite s"imming trun's from a dra"er! $hen "ithout #lin'ing an eyelid, #ut than'fully "ith his #ac' turned to"ards her, the underpants "ent the same "ay as the -eans, though 2uic'ly replaced #y the minute Lycra costume! When he turned Carolyn tried not to stare! +or his #ody "as hardly in repose, and the small costume "as proving inade2uate! "*es," he stated dryly! "A cooling s"im is definitely in order! 0o"!!!"hat can % get for you to "ear. Or do you fancy a #it of s'inny(dipping." Carolyn's heart leapt! %t "as, after all, only elevenish on a aturday night! One could hardly guarantee the #each "ould #e deserted! %mmediately, she thought of the ne" #lac' under"ear she "as "earing! Modest, she supposed, #y modem #i'ini standards! Without "aiting for 8aughan to offer to undress her!!!or her courage to fail her!!!Carolyn crossed her arms and "hipped the red cr>pe dress over her head, tossing it on to the #ed! 0ot having "orn stoc'ings, all she had to do "as 'ic' off her #lac' high heels and she "as as ready as she'd ever #e for a moonlight dip! ")ell's #ells/" 8aughan e&claimed, loo'ing her up and do"n! "%s that supposed to cool my ardor." ;uite un#idden, a naughty little smile pulled at her lips! "% hope not!" A "ry grin split his face! "*ou do reali4e, my s"eet, that you're seriously testing my reputation as a lover!" "Am %." she hus'ed, feeling more "ic'edly sensual than she ever had in her life!

$here "as a steep path, leading from the cliff do"n to the cove! Once do"n on the moonlit sand, Carolyn "as to discover that ne&t to the tiny #each, near the roc's, "as a man(made pool, 2uite large and full of sea("ater! %t loo'ed li'e a peaceful lagoon do"n the end near the #each, #ut there "as plenty of "ild "ater do"n the other "here "aves 'ept crashing over the cement "all, sending spray high into the air! A couple of young lads "ere standing on top of the "all in the moonlight, #ravely or foolishly en-oying the thrills of the "aves and spray hitting them! As Carolyn "atched, #oth dived #ac' into the pool in the face of an une&pectedly #ig "ave, then immediately clim#ed out and "aited for another! "%sn't that dangerous." she as'ed 8aughan, and shivered! "A little! But life's full of dangers! And ris's! ometimes, it's #etter to face them head on than to al"ays ta'e the safer, more timid approach! uch e&periences give one courage, and spirit!" A tremor coursed through Carolyn "ith 8aughan's remar'! +or that "as "hat she "as doing tonight! $a'ing a ris'!!!a huge ris'! +or 8aughan "as li'e that rogue "ave, higher and stronger and more dangerous than the rest! )e engulfed "omen "ith his po"erful se& appeal, pic'ed them up and carried them along for a "hile on his crest of passion #efore dumping them do"n and "ithdra"ing, a#andoning them li'e so much flotsam on the empty shore of shattered souls! )er thudding heart almost -umped out of her chest "hen he suddenly sna'ed a possessive hand around her #are "aist, turning her and pulling her hard against him! )is other hand slid up #eneath her head "here he cupped the #ac' of her nec' and held her face captive for a succession of #rief, hungry 'isses! "7od, Carolyn," he groaned! "% can't stand much more of this/ $his "ill have to #e the 2uic'est s"im on record!" And ta'ing her #y the hand, he dragged her "ith him into the moonlit sea! Less than five minutes later Carolyn "as #ac' in 8aughan's #edroom, sitting on the edge of his huge #ed! 8aughan "as 'neeling up #ehind her and trying to ru# her hair dry "ith a to"el! "% should have put it up," she moaned! "%t's my fault," he soothed, and, pushing the damp mass to one side, pressed hot lips against the #ac' of her nec'! "We'll have you "armed up soon enough," he promised on a hus'y "hisper!

Carolyn #egan to shiver uncontrolla#ly! ;uite a#ruptly, 8aughan a#andoned her and slid off the #ed! "Come on," he advised in a firm voice! "$a'e those "et undies off and get into #ed "hile % go rustle up that champagne Maddie gave us! 0othing li'e a glass of #u##ly to "arm a chilled #loodstream! *ours, not mine," he added dryly as he strode from the room! By the time he returned "ith the opened #ottle of champagne and t"o crystal fluted glasses! Carolyn had hastily dried her hair some more, stripped off and dived under the covers! 8aughan stopped in the door"ay and stared at her, perched up against a myriad pillo"s, the top sheet firmly clutched up over her na'ed #reasts! )e fro"ned at the o#vious fear in her face #efore letting his ga4e linger on the "ay her nearly dry honey(#londe hair had fluffed out in erotic disarray over her #are shoulders! With a frustrated sigh he moved over to place the #ottle and glasses on the #edside ta#le, then sat do"n on the #ed, "here "ith authoritative, economical movements he poured the "ine, filling one glass to the #rim, the other only half"ay! Carolyn guessed "hich one "ould #e hers #efore he handed it over! he too' the full glass "ith sha'ing fingers and tried to stop staring at 8aughan's near( na'ed #ody! But the intimacy of the #edroom as "ell as the imminence of "hat they "ere a#out to do 'ept producing "ildly opposite responses "ithin her! he felt aroused and afraid at the same time! One part of her ached for him to start ma'ing love to her! $he other "as terrified of the outcome, #oth physically and emotionally! "Let's ma'e a toast," he suggested, and clic'ed her glass "ith his! "$o!!!love." )er heart turned over and her ga4e dropped from his! Why on earth did he choose such a toast. urely he "asn't e&pecting her to say she loved him, "as he. And then it came to her! 6erhaps this "as "hat he al"ays did "ith "omen1 made such am#ivalent remar's, unconsciously giving his prospective #ed partners reason to #elieve he loved them "ithout his actually saying so! 6erhaps he needed a temporary emotional closeness to en-oy se&, #ut, once his physical desires "ere sated, any tal' of love disappeared! Which, of course, could very "ell leave a

confused "oman "ith a #ro'en heart(li'e her mother! Carolyn didn't thin' he meant to hurt "omen! )e -ust did! lo"ly her eyes rose, a some"hat #lea' resolve in her heart! he "ould play along "ith him, this one time, for this one night! But in the morning!!! Lifting the glass, she forced a smile to her lips! "$o love," she said, then moved the 2uivering glass to"ard her lips, thin'ing to herself that she had never needed a drin' more in her life! But her hand "as sha'ing so much she spilt some, a small stream of the spar'ling li2uid missing her mouth, cascading from the rim of the glass off her chin and do"n on to her chest! Carolyn "as mortified, an em#arrassed heat flooding her nec' and face! "Oh, 7od!!!%'m so stupid, %!!!" he "ent to mop up the disaster "ith the sheet she had clutched in her other hand, #ut only succeeded in spilling some more champagne! $he chilled li2uid splashed do"n on to her heated s'in and #egan to tric'le do"n the valley #et"een her #reasts! he s2uealed and dropped the sheet altogether, totally #aring herself to 8aughan's eyes! moothly and "ithout any fuss he s"ept the glass from her hand, depositing it "ith his o"n #ac' on the #edside ta#le #efore returning to grip #oth her trem#ling hands in his and push her gently #ut firmly #ac' into the pillo"s! " top getting yourself all in a dither," he gro"led softly, and 'issed her! "%'ll have you nice and dry in no time!!!" And "ithout releasing her hands he actually #ent his mouth to "here the champagne had first landed, and #egan lic'ing the "et s'in! Carolyn's startled lips fell open, her #reathing suspended "hile she "atched him move do"n over her #ody, her eyes "idening as she felt her #ody responding to the feel of his lips and tongue on her flesh! )er #reasts s"elled "ith visi#le arousal, #oth nipples pea'ing, hard and almost painful! he tried to free her hands from his!!!to do she 'ne" not "hat!!!#ut he held her fast, ent"ining her fingers "ith his, imprisoning her hands on each side of her "hile he continued to enslave her #ody "ith his erotic ministrations! Once the spilled champagne "as dealt "ith, he moved on to her #reasts, moistening the taut pea's "ith his tongue #efore dra"ing first one, then the other, into the hot cavern of his mouth! Carolyn "as staggered #y the shafts of sensation that shot through her every time he did this, for her response "asn't any"here near her #reasts! %t "as deep in her stomach, contracting sharply #efore #urning a searing path do"n #et"een her thighs! oon, her lim#s gre" restless "ith an alien agitation! he "anted to move her legs, her

hips, her #ac'! he "anted to arch up into his #ody, to press into him, to have his hard hot flesh closer and closer to hers! +inally, she moaned, partly to drag in some more air, #ut mainly as an e&pression of the intense frustration coursing through her! he "anted 8aughan physically! But she "anted his love more1 "anted him to hold her close and tell her he loved her as much as she loved him! A tortured groan "as torn from her lips in denial of "hat she'd -ust conceded! % can't have fallen in love "ith him, she tried telling herself! % can't/ But of course she had! Deeply! Despairingly! Oh, 7od!!!)o" could she have #een so stupid. Once again, she tried to tear a"ay from his grasp, only to have his eyes snap up and lance her "ith an impassioned glare! " top it/" he gro"led, ta'ing her hands and stretching them up over her head, curling her fingers round one of the #rass railings of the #ed(head! "$his is "hat you "ant," he reproached thic'ly! "What you need! What "e #oth need! $here's no going #ac' no", Carolyn! 0o stopping! 0o running a"ay! % mean to ma'e you mine, every glorious inch of you! o stop fighting me, my love! %t's useless, any"ay! *ou're as much my slave as % am yours!" And "ith a ra" na'ed groan he #ent his mouth and his hands!!!to her #ody once more! Carolyn #it her #ottom lip against the tumultuous pleasure he immediately evo'ed, her 'nuc'les "hitening around the railing as she felt him gradually "or' his "ay #ac' do"n her #ody! urely he didn't mean to!!!to!!! When he passed her navel, every internal muscle she o"ned contracted and held tightly! )er lips parted, as though ready for protest! But no protest came from her lips "hen he finally reached his destination! 0o protest at all! Only a shuddering sigh of sheer ecstasy! "Oh, yes," she moaned! "*es!!!" Carolyn "ould have "illingly endured this e&2uisite torture forever, if his 'no"ingly e&pert fingers hadn't -oined in as "ell! $hey started a far more intimate e&ploration of her flesh and gradually, things started changing! While still incredi#ly e&citing, each #old foray into her #ody seemed to t"ist her insides tighter and tighter, giving her earlier #lissful pleasure a decided edge! "8aughan/" she cried out at last! )e stopped "hat he "as doing and loomed over her, his face strained, his o"n #reathing ragged! "Carolyn," he said "ith a shudder! " orry, #ut there's something % must do at this point!!!% "on't #e long, my love!!!" <<<<

)e smiled softly do"n at her, moving her un#eara#ly "ith his thought and consideration! )e might not love her, #ut at least he did care! )e "asn't long! Only a fe" #rief seconds, and then he "as #ac', his #ody splendidly na'ed and still devastatingly aroused! )e lay do"n #eside her and #egan to stro'e her, #ringing her once more to gasping point #efore slo"ly and "ith infinite gentleness fusing his desire "ith hers, groaning "hen her super#ly prepared flesh accepted his "ith ease and eagerness! Carolyn couldn't contain her o"n cry of astonishment! +or there'd #een no pain! 0ot even discomfort! Only the s"eetest of pleasures as 8aughan's #ody #lended totally "ith hers! :motion moved through her li'e a rippling tide, flooding her heart as "ell as her mind and #ody, uplifting her soul "ith a sense of relief and "onder! )o" could she have ever thought "hat she felt for this man "as '-ust se&'. )er arms s"ept around his #ac' and she clasped him to her heart "ith the tightness of love! "Oh, 8aughan," she cried softly, and gulped do"n the lump in her throat! +or she "anted to laugh and "eep at the same time1 "anted to move against his hardness, yet "as also compelled to stay still, to savor the over"helming feeling of perfect unity! "*es," 8aughan said thic'ly! "% feel it too! And % don't "ant it ever to end!" Levering himself up on his el#o"s he #egan to 'iss her! On her #reasts, her shoulders, her nec', her mouth! *et all the "hile he "as 'issing her, he 'ept the lo"er half of his #ody perfectly still! But very 2uic'ly Carolyn didn't "ant him to #e still and "hen he 'issed her again on the mouth, she clasped him closer, her nails ra'ing his #ac', her hips lifting to ta'e his flesh even further into hers! )e groaned and drove his tongue deeply into her mouth, moving it #ac' and forth in a frantic hungry rhythm as though trying to satisfy his passion that "ay! But in the end the rest of his #ody "ould not #e denied and it started moving li'e"ise! Carolyn "as soon #eside herself, soaring on a plateau of physical passion and pleasure that carried no inhi#ition, no shyness! he "rapped her legs higher and harder around him, #ursting from his mouth as urgent moans of desire and need punched from her lungs! 8aughan immediately pic'ed up rhythm, holding her tightly #eneath him, surging po"erfully into her eager, straining #ody! +or a split second Carolyn felt a thrilling moment of pea'ing, of #eing suspended! And then she "as spun into a "ild avalanche of sensation that shattered her completely, the e&perience impossi#le to fully capture in "ords or even memory! %ts sharpness caught at her #reath, then forced sounds from

her lips, soft sensual cries some"here #et"een sighs and moans! )er head tipped #ac', her lips panting apart, her #ac' #ending li'e a #o" from the #ed as she felt her flesh convulsing around 8aughan's, felt her "oman's pull on his #ody, urging him to a mutual release! When it came Carolyn "as stunned, thin'ing the pleasure she'd -ust e&perienced "as impossi#le to surpass! But nothing could eclipse the emotional and physical satisfaction of holding 8aughan and feeling him clima& deep "ithin her! he thrilled to his ra" groans of pleasure, to his shuddering muscles, to the "ay he finally san' do"n on top of her and #uried his gasping mouth in her hair! $hey sighed together, content and e&hausted! And didn't move for ages! "% don't thin' %'ll ever stir again," she said dreamily "hen 8aughan re-oined her after a #rief trip to the #athroom! $railing a limp hand over his muscular chest, she smiled at him "ith heavy(lidded eyes! )e lifted her hand to his mouth and 'issed each fingertip in turn! "*ou "ill stir again! % mean to stir you on and off for the rest of the night!!!But a small sleep first might #e in order!!!" When the da"n came, Carolyn conceded she hadn't slept much, though 8aughan had at long last succum#ed to e&haustion and "as fast asleep #eside her! he sighed as she glanced over at him and thought of ho", during those long "a'ing hours, he'd #rought her over and over to that e&2uisite release, each time ta'ing her a little further into the "orld of sensual pleasure! he learnt "hat it "as to ma'e love to a man, to pleasure him as much as he pleasured her, to ta'e and give "ith no holding #ac', no shame! Only love! )er heart s2uee4ed tight at this thought! +or of course, it hadn't #een real love on 8aughan's part! ,ust se&! Or lust! Or animal need! Or "hatever men li'e him deigned to call it! One "oman "as pretty "ell as good as another, she imagined "ith a #lea' understanding! $he only reason he'd #ecome temporarily #esotted "ith her "as #ecause she'd resisted him for so long! Or may#e #ecause she "as much more ine&perienced than his usual con2uest! 6erhaps he'd seen her innocence as an irresisti#le challenge! Well!!!her innocence had #een totally shattered last night! he had surrendered to him as completely as a "oman could to a man! 6hysically and emotionally! )o" she managed to last the "hole night "ithout saying aloud ho" much she loved him "as a miracle! But it "as to #e than'ed she hadn't! uch an admission "ould have rendered futile "hat she "as a#out to do!

A sudden "ea'ness clutched at her heart, tempting her to procrastinate, #ut she s"iftly s"ept it aside! $he sooner this "as done, the #etter/ Mustering all her courage, she sat up and s"ung her legs less than 2uietly over the side of the #ed! As "as her intention, 8aughan stirred! "Where are you off to." he as'ed sleepily! "$o the #athroom," came her curt reply! "$hen after %'m dressed %'d appreciate it if you could please drive me #ac' to Maddie's!" "What." )is hand gripped her shoulder and he t"isted her round to face him! "But "hy. Maddie "ill #e out for the count for most of the day! % thought "e'd spend the rest of the "ee'end together! % thought!!!)ell, "hat's got into you this morning. *ou en-oyed last night, didn't you." Carolyn s"allo"ed! Dear heaven, #ut this "as the hardest thing she had ever done in her life! But she had to! he -ust had to/ )o" could she possi#ly introduce 8aughan to her mother as her lover, ho"ever temporary. %mpossi#le! %t "as too cruel! he had to cut dead this relationship once and for all/ "Of course % en-oyed it," she said, distress giving her "ords a #itter edge! "$oo much!" he yan'ed out of his hold and stood up, dragging a covering sheet "ith her! 3nfortunately, this particular sheet "as the only thing #et"een 8aughan and total nudity, "hich "as hardly "hat Carolyn needed to confront at that moment! "$oo much." he repeated, a dis#elieving note in his voice! ")o" can you li'e se& too much." )is use of the "ord 'se&' instead of 'ma'ing love' struc' her ra" emotions li'e the flic' of a #ull"hip, and she shuddered! But at least it reinforced 8aughan's vie" of "hat they'd done together! And gave her the strength to continue! "% "ould imagine," she #egan, 'eeping her eyes and voice as steady as possi#le, "that it "ould #e much easier to "al' a"ay from a one(night stand if one hadn't en-oyed it 2uite so much!" )is fro"n "as immediate and dar'! "A one(night stand." )is eyes "ere li'e hot #ro"n coals, searing into her, #urning her! "%s that ho" you thin' of last night." "What else." she tossed off, her heart #rea'ing!

"What else." )e stared at her for a fe" seconds then gave a harsh #ar' of laughter! "% ta'e it, then," he ground out sarcastically, "that %'m not to #e privileged "ith a repeat performance tonight, or any other night." "*ou ta'e it correctly! 7oodness, 8aughan, "hy all the hearts and flo"ers. *ou and % #oth 'no" that the only thing #et"een us "as a se&ual attraction!" "Was." )e lifted an incredulous eye#ro"! )er shrug "as super#ly indifferent! "Well, % thin' "e "ent a long "ay to dampening the fires last night, don't you. %'m 2uite e&hausted!" "0o" let me get this straight!!!" )e clim#ed off the #ed to stand "ith legs apart and hands on hips! Dressed, it "ould have #een an angry, aggressive stance! 0a'ed, it "as #oth threatening and distur#ing! "*ou "ant me to #elieve that a girl "ho scorns casual se&, "ho hauled me over the coals for using "omen's #odies "ithout a scrap of feeling, that this same girl has -ust surrendered her innocence "ithout #eing in love. *ou "ere merely scratching an itch, so to spea'." Carolyn cringed at these last "ords! "Ans"er me, damn you/" he roared, gra##ing her and sha'ing her violently! "*es," she croa'ed! "Liar/" )e released her "ith a savage t"ist, his face full of frustration! ")ell, don't ta'e me for a fool, Carolyn! % 'no" you no"! And % don't mean -ust in the Bi#lical sense! % 'no" "hat ma'es you tic', "hat values have shaped your life, "hat sort of person you are! *ou have deep, deep feelings! And standards! *ou didn't 'eep your virginity all these years to thro" it a"ay lightly! *ou love me, "oman! Why "on't you admit it. What's the real reason #ehind this trumped(up gar#age. %s this still #ecause of your stupid damned mother." "*ou're the one "ho's #eing stupid," she retorted angrily! "A virgin can lust as much as the ne&t person, #elieve me! May#e more, even, since virginity is a totally unnatural state for a normal healthy t"enty(four(year(old "oman! %f you "ant your ego stro'ed, 8aughan, then let me tell you that you're one hell of a se&y guy! A verita#le lady 'iller/ :ven Maddie 'ne" it "as -ust a matter of time #efore % ended up in your #ed! %'m sure that's "hy she rang you yesterday and told you "here %'d #e! he pro#a#ly thought the sooner % got it over "ith, the #etter!" "7od, you ma'e me sound li'e a case of the chic'en po&/" he snapped! "And for your information, Maddie didn't ring me!"

Carolyn "as floored #y this ne"s! " he didn't. But!!!#ut last night you said!!!% mean!!!" "% 'ne" you'd stay for the party!" he simply loo'ed #lan'! )e made a frustrated sound! "% "ent round to Maddie's earlier in the afternoon! he didn't ans"er the front door, so %!!!Well, %!!!" uddenly, he loo'ed uncomforta#le! 3nderstanding da"ned on Carolyn! " o you came round the #ac' and sa" Maddie painting me through the "indo"," she finished #itterly! "*ou stood there and "atched, didn't you. eeing me na'ed turned you on, didn't it. $hat's "hy you came to the party! imply and solely to scratch your itch/" he glo"ered at him! "And you dare to demand that % sanctify my one and only se&ual transgression "ith deeper feelings! *ou, "ho have never #een in love in his life! *ou, "hose only feelings for a "oman are strictly #elo" the "aist/" he scooped in a shuddering #reath and "ent on, her tirade fuelled #y fury at fate for letting her fall in love "ith such a man! "Believe me "hen % say % not only don't love you, 8aughan later, % despise you, almost as much as % despise myself for having let you touch me at all!" )e stared at her for a long long moment, a stony mas' dropping over his face! %t rather shoc'ed her, for she "as used to #eing a#le to read his emotions through his e&pressive eyes! But his eyes "ere suddenly cold! Cold and hard! $otally "ithout feeling! +rightened, she lifted a defensive hand to her throat and too' a #ac'"ard step, almost tripping over the sheet! "%s that so." he said in a voice li'e ice! "$oo #ad! % really "as hoping for an encore! But you're 2uite right, Carolyn! $hat's e&actly "hat happened! % sa" you lying there "ithout a stitch of clothing on and % "anted you! % left #ut % couldn't get the sight of your undenia#ly desira#le and nymph(li'e #ody out of my mind! %n the end, % decided % had to have you, no matter "hat! o, yes!!!% came to that party, determined to get you into my #ed, determined to do "hatever it too' to ma'e you succum# to all those crude desires you once confessed to!" )is smile "as chilling! "And % succeeded, didn't %." uddenly, his -a" clenched tightly! "0o" get your clothes on and get the hell out of my life!"

All the #lood drained from Carolyn's face! he thought of that moment!!!eons ago, it seemed "hen 8aughan had loo'ed at her and vo"ed! "One day, Carolyn! One day!!!" Well, the day had #een yesterday! $he sound of a telephone ringing cut across the strained silence! 8aughan gave her one last cold, hard loo', and strode from the room! Carolyn stared after his retreating figure, her mind and heart still reeling! he tried telling herself that it "as all for the #est, #ut nothing could soften the distress she felt at thin'ing that all the "hile she'd #een ma'ing love to 8aughan, he'd #een smugly triumphant over her surrender! %t made her feel used and despoiled and more than a little sic'! But finally, acceptance of the a"ful truth galvani4ed her into action! he dressed s"iftly then fled the #edroom, unfortunately having to pass through the living(room on the "ay to the front door! A still na'ed 8aughan "as standing there, "ith the receiver at his ear, loo'ing and sounding so ghastly that Carolyn ground to a startled halt! "Oh, no," he groaned! "Oh, ,esse!!!Why no", "hen everything "as coming right for her!!!6oor Mum!!!*es!!!%'ll come at once!!!0o!!!Don't "orry!!!%'ll ta'e care of it!!! ee you tonight!!!Bye!!!" Carolyn guessed immediately "hat had happened! 8aughan's mother had died! )is shoulders slumped as he dropped the receiver into its cradle and Carolyn instinctively ached to go to him! $here "as no reasoning at times li'e this! All she "anted "as to soothe and comfort the man she loved in this, his hour of need! he "al'ed slo"ly for"ard and laid a tentative hand on his shoulder! "8aughan!!!is there!!!anything % can do." he roc'ed #ac'"ards "hen he turned to loo' at her! 0ever had she seen such pain! "*es!!!,ust get out! 7et out and leave me alone!" C)A6$:5 $:0 "And so you left," Maddie sighed! "*es!" Carolyn #urst into tears again! Maddie pushed the #o& of tissues in front of her! $hey "ere already half gone!

"%!!!% didn't "ant to," Carolyn so##ed! "But "hen % tried to say something else he!!!he gave me such a terri#le loo' that %!!!% -ust ran!" "All the "ay to $hirroul." "0o!!!8aughan carne after me in his car!" ")e did." Carolyn "iped her nose! ")e made me get in, then drove me here in the most a"ful silence! %t "as horri#le!" Maddie sighed again! "% can imagine! Are you sure a#out his mother dying, though. % mean!!!you could #e "rong, couldn't you." he shoo' her head! "% don't thin' so!" "0either do %, actually!" "%!!!% never thought of 8aughan as having a family," Carolyn said #ro'enly! "%!!!% guess % don't really 'no" him at all, despite everything!" "Carolyn," Maddie said firmly! "% thin' it's time you told me e&actly "hat's #een going on "ith you and 8aughan! And no, % don't mean a#out last night! %t's perfectly clear "hat happened there! )e made #eautiful love to you and you're mad a#out him! What % "ant to 'no" is "hy you're so torn up a#out it, and "hy in heaven's name you can't 'eep sleeping "ith him, even if he doesn't love you or "ant to marry you. Which % could have predicted, % might add! ome men are the marrying 'ind! ome aren't, But #ac' to the point/ *ou must tell me the "hole grisly tale and "e'll see "hat solution "e can come up "ith!" Maddie couldn't come up "ith any solution! Once she learnt 8aughan had almost #ecome Carolyn's mother's lover, and that the poor "oman had had a nervous #rea'do"n over him, she gave up! "What a #ummer," she said "ith descriptive sympathy! "*es," Carolyn agreed despairingly! "We'll have to 'eep 8aughan a"ay from your mum, "on't "e." "*es!"

" he really "ent to pieces over him, didn't she. % mean, ho" many "omen "ould start hallucinating that they'd #een to #ed "ith a guy if they hadn't. % 'no" % certainly couldn't! % need the real thing! till!!!% guess it ta'es all types! *our mother must #e one of those fragile, vulnera#le ladies "ho fall apart easily!" Carolyn fro"ned! "Well, no, actually!!!Before the day she #ro'e do"n, Mum had al"ays #een a very strong lady!" "5eally." "*es!!!" An unease settled around Carolyn's heart as a ghastly thought filtered into her #rain! Could 8aughan have lied to her a#out not having made love to her mother. Lied in order to get the daughter into his #ed as "ell. )e'd said he'd come to the party last night, prepared to do anything to have her! "7ood grief, Carolyn, "hat are you thin'ing. *ou've gone as "hite as a sheet!" Carolyn's "ide eyes snapped up! "Maddie!!!" "*es." "%s!!!is 8aughan a "ic'ed man, do you thin'." Maddie "as ta'en a#ac'! "8aughan. Wic'ed." he gave the matter some thought! "Wic'ed is a rather am#iguous "ord! Do you mean evil, or -ust plain naughty." "% thin' % mean!!!evil!" "0o/ Of course not/ Definitely not/" "% hope you're right," she groaned! "Because if you're not, then % don't 'no" "hat's to #ecome of me!" "%'ll tell you "hat's to #ecome of you," Maddie said firmly! "0othing #ad! *ou're going to go on "ith your life, "ithout self(pity and useless recriminations! *ou're going to put last night in the 'valued e&periences' compartment of your mind and ne&t time you're going to fall in love "ith a much more suita#le candidate! 0o"/ %'ll get you some healthy muesli for #rea'fast, and "hile you eat it "e'll start ma'ing plans to move you do"n here to Wollongong!" Carolyn gasped! "What's "rong no"." Maddie as'ed some"hat impatiently!

"%!!!% never got round to telling 8aughan a#out that! )e!!!% mean "e!!!er!!!" "*ou don't have to e&plain," Maddie sighed e&pressively! "% get the picture, #elieve me! Loo', don't "orry your pretty little head a#out a thing! %'ll tell 8aughan myself and get the 'eys and anything else you need! *ou don't have to see him again! Wollongong's a #ig to"n! And %'ll invent a false name for him "hen your mother gets #ac' in three "ee's' time! %f your mother still "ants to meet him "e'll say he's interstate or overseas or something! Let's -ust hope ,ulian doesn't #la# his real name in the meantime! What story are you going to tell your stepfather, #y the "ay." Carolyn e&haled "earily! "7od only 'no"s!" "%'ll thin' of something," Maddie offered, and patted her friend's hand! $he follo"ing days "ere very #usy for Carolyn, "hat "ith cleaning the flat and pac'ing and driving up and do"n "ith loads of 'nic'('nac's and clothes, not to mention doing the thousand and one other clerical -o#s associated "ith a ma-or move! $here "ere #an's and insurance companies to #e notified, mail to #e redirected! All sorts of time(consuming tas's! But she "as grateful to #e #usy! %t 'ept her mind occupied and her #ody tired! :ach night she stayed up late till she flopped into #ed, e&hausted! $houghts of 8aughan "ere never given much opportunity to linger! Only once did she allo" herself the lu&ury of tears over him, and they had #een more sympathy than #itterness or self(pity! +or his mother had died, so Maddie found out! 0ot that she'd #een a#le to elicit any details on the su#-ect! 7rief, Maddie said, had made 8aughan even more taciturn than usual! o Carolyn had cried for him, 'no"ing that everyone, even a heartless "omani4er, felt the death of a mother very deeply! %f she lost her o"n mother suddenly li'e that, she "ould #e utterly devastated! But her o"n mother, than' the lord, "as happy and healthy! And honeymooning on the 5iviera! Carolyn had #een greatly relieved to receive more trou#le(free postcards in "hich her mother made no mention of 8aughan! $he only man "ho figured in her #right and #ree4y and surprisingly confident correspondence "as her hus#and! As for ,ulian, he "as clearly more in love "ith his %sa#el than ever, "hich made Carolyn feel alternately thrilled then "orried! )o" "ould he react if she "as forced to reveal that his ne" #ride had once literally gone cra4y over his handsome and very se&y architect. he shuddered to thin'! On the $hursday, a "ee' #efore their return, all the furniture arrived at the ne" house as per schedule! $he ne&t day, Carolyn vacated the flat in Ashfield, her last -o#s #eing to have the electricity and telephone disconnected! he had already disposed of all her mother's redundant furniture #y advertisement

in the local ne"spaper!!!her o"n untrust"orthy Datsun had gone the same "ay!!!and had spent the last couple of nights ma'ing do "ith the #are essentials, sleeping on an old air(#ed and eating off one set of croc'ery and cutlery, her only furniture a porta#le television set and a folding chair! By the time Carolyn #undled herself and her last load into ,ulian's BMW for the final trip do"n to Wollongong, all her #ridges had #een #urnt #ehind her! he felt 2uite e&cited a#out the move, despite everything! Who "ouldn't #e loo'ing for"ard to e&changing a po'y flat for such a #eautiful and special home. $he ever(efficient Maddie, "ho'd #een virtually given a #lan' chec' #y ,ulian, had already stoc'ed the ne" house "ith goods and appliances to match the d>cor, including linen and other items! o all Carolyn really needed to do to successfully move in "as to go food shopping! Which she decided to do in Wollongong, other"ise all her free4er items "ould melt! %t didn't even cross her mind that she might run into 8aughan! )adn't Maddie said Wollongong "as a #ig to"n. Well, not #ig enough, apparently! Carolyn "as "al'ing into an arcade, loo'ing for the #utcher's shop that the cashier in the supermar'et said "as there, "hen she spotted 8aughan sitting in the comer of a glass("alled coffee shop, loo'ing li'e a "ell(groomed e&ecutive in a dar' #lue #usiness suit and da44ling "hite shirt! )er heart stopped, as "ell as her feet! +or he "asn't alone! Anthea Ma&"ell "as sitting opposite him! :ven as Carolyn "atched, the "oman's hand reached out intimately to cover his on the ta#le! he leant closer to "hisper something! 8aughan nodded, then loo'ed up "ith an appreciative smile on his #eautiful mouth! Carolyn's heart t"isted! And to thin' she had allo"ed herself that one moment of pity for him! )e didn't need pity! Or anything else from her! 8aughan must have sensed her #itter glare for his head turned, and their eyes met! )is smile faded! Anthea Ma&"ell's head turned as "ell to see "hat 8aughan "as loo'ing at! Carolyn only sa" the #eginning of the "oman's smugly superior smile! he "hirled round and hurried a"ay "ithout #uying any meat! %t didn't matter! he couldn't eat that evening any"ay! he -ust sat on the main #alcony, sipping some straight cotch she'd found in the fully stoc'ed #ar and staring #lan'ly at the #reathta'ing vie" of the ocean in the distance! everal large container ships dotted the hori4on, perhaps ma'ing for or coming from the 6ort 9em#la steel("or's!

When she tired of "atching their slo" #ut ine&ora#le progress!!!or may#e "hen the cotch ran out!!!Carolyn "ent inside, sho"ered her tipsy self, dragged on the #lue sil'y nightie her mother had given her for Christmas, then lay do"n on one of the apricot leather sofas to "atch $8! A game sho" came on and, even though she normally li'ed playing along "ith the contestants, her distracted and unhappy mind constantly "andered from the screen! What "as 8aughan doing tonight. Was he still "ith that horrid "oman. Was he ma'ing love to her right at this moment. $he telephone interrupted her "retched thoughts, and even though she didn't "ant to ans"er, politeness insisted! %t "ould #e Maddie! $he 'ind yet rather daunting Maddie! +or she "as the only person "ho 'ne" the recently connected num#er! Levering herself up on to slightly unsteady feet, Carolyn meandered over to sin' gratefully do"n on the chair ne&t to the telephone! )er uncoordinated actions made her reali4e that drin'ing "his'y on an empty stomach "as a s"ift "ay to into&ication! Lic'ing dry lips, she gripped the receiver tightly and did her #est to ans"er "ith a together voice! ")ello, Maddie! What's up." "%t's not Maddie," 8aughan's distinctively male voice replied! "And the only thing that's up in my life at the moment is my #lood pressure!" %t too' Carolyn a fe" seconds to get a grip on herself! And her instantaneous resentment! Who did he thin' he "as, ringing her up and saying things li'e that. But a treacherous little voice piped in, telling her he "as clearly not "ith Anthea Ma&"ell! he gave a silent groan! Why, oh, "hy couldn't she stop her heart from leaping -oyfully at that 'no"ledge. "%s there some purpose to this call, 8aughan." she as'ed sharply, angry "ith herself for her "ea'ness in still letting this man affect her! "% "ant to come over and tal' to you!" Carolyn "as grateful he couldn't see her shudder! "Certainly not/ %f you remem#er rightly, you said you didn't "ant to see me ever again!" A frustrated sound punched do"n the line! "%'ve changed my mind a#out that!" "Oh. And "hat made you change it. Wouldn't dear old Anthea come across tonight after all."

)is sigh "as heavy! "Don't #e li'e that, Carolyn," he said in a voice that caught at her heartstrings! "%t isn't you! Loo'!!!%'m sorry for saying that! %'m sorry for saying a lot of things! %'m coming over! % really need to tal' to you!" he could hardly #elieve the gall of the man! Did he honestly thin' she "ould mee'ly let him in. )er laughter "as #itter and cold! "$al', 8aughan. ince "hen did you "ant to -ust tal' to a "oman! till!!!far #e it from me to #e a cynic, #ut if you really "ant to tal' to me, then do so! 5ight no"! On this telephone/" "7oddamn it, #ut you're a difficult "oman/" )e heaved a loud, shuddering sigh! "All right!!! o % don't "ant to -ust tal'! % "ant to ta'e you to #ed too! % admit it! But it's not -ust se& % "ant, Carolyn," he "ent on in a voice vi#rating "ith the most seductive passion! "% "ant you! 0ot Anthea Ma&"ell! 0ot any other "oman! Only you!!!" Carolyn's "hole #ody started to 2uiver! "Don't say things li'e that/" she cho'ed out! "Why not. %t's the truth! % "ant you so much that % can't thin' straight any more/ My "or' is going to pot and so am %! % thought % could get over you! % thought it "as -ust a matter of time! But then % sa" you today and it all started up again! $here's no escaping it! % can see that no"! % "ant you! And do you 'no" "hat else. *ou still "ant me too! % sa" it today in your eyes, and % heard it tonight in your voice! *ou "ere -ealous of Anthea, even though you have no reason to #e! % haven't touched her since % met you!" "% don't #elieve you!" "% don't #lame you! $hat's "hy % "ant to tal' to you first, to apologi4e for all those rotten things % said, and to sho" you ho" much % still "ant you!" Carolyn tried not to let his "ords e&cite her1 tried not to start thin'ing a#out "hat it "ould feel li'e to hold him in her arms again! "*ou!!!you 'eep a"ay from me," she cried out! "0ot in a month of undays/ %'m coming over and %'m coming over no"/" he shoo' her head in silent despair, for the temptation to surrender herself once more "as incredi#ly strong! "0o, 8aughan! 6lease don't! %!!!% "on't let you in/" she finished "ildly!

"% don't thin' you understand "ho you're dealing "ith here, Carolyn," he countered fiercely! "% can #e very single(minded "hen % "ant to #e! % "ant you and you "ant me! We're right for each other! %'m not going to let anything stand in the "ay of!!!our #eing together, certainly not your misplaced and over(protective concern for your mother/" )e laughed, a scornful and frustrated sound! "Oh, yes, % understand full "ell "hat's at the #asis of your re-ecting me! But it's high time for you to really gro" up, my darling! Life's full of mista'es and regrets, #ut one doesn't compound them #y letting them affect the rest of their lives! *ou face them, then get up and go on! *ou don't dra" #ac' and hide! $here are no safe paths in life, Carolyn! %t's pac'ed "ith more ris's and dangers and chances than those #oys too' that night do"n at the roc' pool! +or a "hile there, % did "hat you're doing! % turned my #ac' on it li'e a #loody co"ard! But %'m getting #ac' up on the "all no" and facing those "aves, no matter ho" large! %'m coming to get you, Carolyn! And nothing is going to stop me/" C)A6$:5 :L:8:0 Carolyn stared do"n at the dead receiver in her hands, 8aughan's ama4ing and passionate "ords echoing in her ears! +ifteen minutes, she calculated sha'ily! $"enty at most, for him to get from his house to this one! he dropped the hand piece into its cradle and "hirled round! $hen stopped in her trac's! What could she do. Where could she go. "$o Maddie's/" she decided aloud and, holding up her an'le(length nightie, #egan to run to"ards the staircase, long #londe hair flying out #ehind! % must hurry, she urged herself! 7et dressed! +ind the 'eys! Loc' up! $hen off to Maddie's #efore 8aughan arrives/ Carolyn ground to a halt at the head of the stairs! 0o/ 0ot Maddie's! $hat "as the first place 8aughan "ould loo' for her "hen he found this place deserted! Besides, Maddie "as not to #e trusted in this! he had already given 8aughan her phone num#er, pro#a#ly in some misguided attempt to maneuver them #ac' together again! $he "oman had no conception of normal moral standards! )er rule in life seemed to #e, man "ants "oman, then man has "oman! And vice versa! Carolyn groaned! he had no"here else to go really! $o drive around aimlessly "as a stupid idea! And dangerous, since she'd #een drin'ing! Which "as another reason "hy she couldn't face 8aughan tonight! he felt too vulnera#le, too!!!"ea'! $omorro", she could call him at his office, offer to meet him some"here pu#licly "here she could tal' to him again and try to

e&plain "hy she couldn't have an affair "ith him! he "ould tell him that it "asn't a matter of ta'ing ris's! %t "as a matter of right and "rong, of living "ith one's conscience, of not selfishly gra##ing happiness for oneself at the e&pense of another's! 3ncertainty gripped at her insides! omeho" she didn't thin' 8aughan "ould #e a reasona#le listener on this su#-ect! )e'd #een so vehement over the phone! o intense/ he'd heard of men #ecoming se&ually o#sessed "ith a "oman, #ut she'd never envisaged herself #eing the o#-ect of such an o#session! Against all common sense, she found the idea of 8aughan's #eing una#le to control his passion un#eara#ly e&citing! %n fact, she "as appalled to find that her nipples had hardened at the thought! At the same time she couldn't stop thin'ing a#out ho" determined he'd sounded1 couldn't stop thin'ing a#out "hat he might do to her, if she let him in! "% can't/" she moaned aloud! $hen steeled herself! "% "on't/" he turned and raced, not do"n the stairs to the #edrooms, #ut up the other one to chec' that all the security deadloc's on the main doors had #een turned! $hey had! he #reathed a ragged sigh of relief! 8aughan had made the t"o lo"er floors of this house virtually impregna#le! An intruder "ould need a #attering ram to get through the heavy dou#le doors that formed the only entry from outside! Carolyn returned to the living(room still "ringing her hands! 0o matter "hat logic she used, she still didn't feel safe! he "ondered "hat time it "as, and ho" long it had #een since 8aughan had rung! )er "atch "as in one of the do"nstairs #athrooms, and there "asn't a cloc' around on this floor! he "ould have to mention that to Maddie, came the rather incongruous thought! 0o cloc's in the living(rooms! A flash of inspiration reminded her of the cloc' #uilt into the "all oven! he hurried across the apricot(carpeted area into the #lac' slate(floored 'itchen and sa" that it "as seven(t"enty! 0ot that that told her ho" long since 8aughan had rung, her ears straining for the sound of the M7 pulling into one of the carports overhead! A "aste of time, she finally realised! $he cement floors "ere thic', the "hole place reinforced for peace and privacy! One couldn't even hear the semi( trailers rattling along the high"ay "hich "as not all that far a"ay!

Carolyn's tension #ecame acute! he paced up and do"n the large galley( style 'itchen for a "hile, then returned to the living(room! he sat do"n on the sofa's edge and pretended to "atch the game sho" that "as -ust finishing! But every nerve(ending in her #ody "as stretched tight, "aiting for 8aughan's furious demand that she let him in! But the one pro#lem that tormented her the most "as!!!"ould she have the strength to turn him a"ay. 6ic'ing up the remote control for the $8 she changed the channel to a current affairs program! $a'ing a deep steadying #reath she "as a#out to settle #ac' "hen a sudden crashing sound #ehind her sent her -umping to her feet, #lue eyes round "ith shoc' as she "hirled to face the #alcony! "Oh, my 7od/" she gasped in dis#elief! +or it seemed that her very determined admirer had someho" scaled do"n from the floor a#ove via a rope! Which "as almost an impossi#ility, since the top floor -utted out over the #alcony #elo" li'e an overhanging roof! $here "as no "ay of reaching the lo"er floor at all #y rope, unless one s"ung out over the sheer drop of the valley #elo" then #ac' in over the parapet to safety! Which is "hat 8aughan must have done, collecting an outdoor chair as he crashed(landed on to the veranda! he stared, goggle(eyed, as he pic'ed himself up, righted the chair and "al'ed in through the open glass doors! "% see % have some "ay to go #efore % #ecome ,ames Bond," he remar'ed dryly, dusting himself off and tuc'ing his shirt #ac' into the "aist#and of his trousers! *et ,ames Bond "as e&actly "hat Carolyn thought he loo'ed li'e, carrying off such an energetic and dangerous entry "ith all the dash and suaveness of the super secret agent! )e rather loo'ed li'e a ,ames Bond too, still "earing the impecca#le navy suit Carolyn had seen on him that afternoon, only the tie having #een discarded! $he rest of him "as e2ually impecca#le, the acro#atics not having distur#ed a single hair of his short chestnut(#ro"n hair! 7littering dar' eyes roved do"n over the slender length of her, #arefoot and o#viously na'ed under the clinging #lue nightie! )er #reathing gre" shallo" "hen his ga4e lingered on her #reasts, their high, lush outline hardly hidden #y the thin sil'y material, or the "ay the nec'line scooped lo" #eneath shoestring straps! Carolyn gre" hotly a"are of their s"elling under his scrutiny, their pea's pointy and hard! $hey tormented her "ith their arousal, moc'ing her earlier resolve to resist him! %t's no use, she realised in despair! %f he touches me, %'m done for/

When he carne closer, his eyes having narro"ed "ith #oth intent and desire, she stayed stoc'(still, her!!!#reathing suspended, her eyes dilated "ith e&pectant fear! " o glad to see you've dressed for the occasion," he dra"led, one hand sna'ing out to curl around her "aist! :ver so slo"ly he dre" her hard against him! he said nothing, her throat suddenly ra", her head automatically tipping #ac' in unspo'en readiness for him! )e "as going to 'iss her! And she "as utterly incapa#le of stopping him! But he didn't 'iss her! At least!!!not at that precise moment! %nstead he #ent to slide his other arm around her thighs and hoisted her up into his arms! $hen, he 'issed her! "Admit you still "ant me," he rasped after his hungry mouth finally lifted from hers! "%!!!%!!!" "0ever mind! *our #ody's already told me all % need to 'no"!" )e #egan "al'ing, carrying her "ith case! "%t's perfectly all right," he "ent on, smiling "ryly do"n at her tongue(tied and da4ed self! "*ou don't have to give me directions! % 'no" the "ay to the #edrooms! % put them there!" he gulped and closed her eyes as he made his "ay steadily do"n the "ide carpeted stairs into the cool dimness of the passage"ay #elo"! )er heart "as going li'e a thrashing machine, her mind and emotions in chaos! "By the "ay," he grated out "hen he stopped to 'ic' the main guest(room door open, "it came to me as % "as s"inging through space a minute ago, "ith the possi#ility of certain death if % slipped, that % hadn't made one thing clear to you!" he fluttered #e"ildered lashes open and loo'ed up! )is eyes loc'ed "ith hers, startling her "ith their smoldering intensity! "% love you," he said, and strode purposefully into the room! Carolyn "o'e to the confusion of 8aughan ma'ing love to her yet again! )is long lean fingers moved #et"een her thighs, rea"a'ening her desire "ith his e&pertly 'no"ing touch!

"0o," she protested "ea'ly! "6lease!!!" )e totally ignored her, continuing till the movements of her hips told him she "as ready! Covering her 2uic'ly, he drove his o"n formida#ly re(aroused flesh deep into her #ody! A moaning, responsive shudder ran through her, and soon she "as dro"ning in the heavy sensuality of 8aughan's lovema'ing! When he stopped a#ruptly, she "himpered, gla4ed eyes flying open to stare up at his strained face! "$ell me you love me too," he urged! "% "ant to hear you say it!" )er heart leapt, #ut instinct "arned her not to admit to such a thing! "0o," she panted! "0o!!!" )e muttered something and resumed his slo", steady rhythm, ta'ing her ine&ora#ly to"ards the moment "hen "ill(po"er "ould cease to e&ist, "hen there "as nothing #ut her #ody and his, teetering on the #rin' of ecstasy! At this most crucial moment, 8aughan stopped once again, #ringing a cry of sharp need from her gasping lungs! )er nails dug deeply in his #ac' and her #ody urged him desperately to continue! "$ell me you love me, dammit," he demanded, holding her still #eneath him in an ?ron grip! he "hipped her head from side to side till he captured her mouth "ith his o"n, grinding her head #ac' into the soft pillo" "ith a savage 'iss! " ay it/" he gasped "hen his mouth finally #urst from hers! "Dear 7od, -ust say it this once/" he "as moved, more #y the desperate note in his voice than his violent 'iss, or the se&ual edge on "hich she "as hanging! "% love you," she cried hus'ily! "%'ve loved you all along!" A deep groaning shudder rever#erated through him, startling Carolyn "ith the reali4ation that his demand had not #een a mere testing of his physical po"er over her, #ut a genuine and sincere need to hear her voice the depth of her feelings! )e really does love me, she finally accepted, though "ith a sense of incredulity!

But then 8aughan resumed ma'ing love to her, "ith a fierce ardor, and all tal'ing and thought ceased! $here "as nothing #ut t"o people loc'ed together in a mating so feverish and frantic that -ust to 'eep #reathing "as tas' enough! $he air around them moved "ith their energy and heat, shoo' "hen they shoo', fell silent "hen they fell silent! $his "as loving at its #est!!!and "orst! 6rimitive!!!passionate!!!painful and possessive! 8aughan held her after"ards as though he couldn't #ear to have her a hair's #readth from him till their #odies and #reathing had returned to normal! "We'll get married," he said at last, their flesh still fused as one! "As soon as possi#le!" Carolyn's automatic thrill of -oy "as soon replaced #y nagging dou#ts! )o" could she and 8aughan ever find a lasting happiness together. )o" could the pro#lem of her mother ever #e solved. "7od, % can read you li'e a #oo'," he sighed, staring do"n at her trou#led face! "%t's %sa#el again, isn't it." <<<<< Carolyn could have cried! Already it "as happening! Already the ghost of the past "as coming #et"een them! " he can't possi#ly still #e in love "ith me," he muttered angrily! "%f she ever damned "ell "as/" "Believe me, 8aughan," Carolyn said #lea'ly, "she "as!" O#viously he had no conception of his o"n se&ual magnetism, of ho" he could #e"itch a "oman against her "ill! 0either did he appreciate ho" emotionally and mentally fragile %sa#el had #ecome! )o" could he. )e'd only seen her as a strong, competent "oman! A #lac' reali4ation t"isted at Carolyn's insides! 0o, she accepted #lea'ly! $hat "asn't so! 8aughan had also seen %sa#el Mac'en4ie as an aroused, passionate "oman! Carolyn #it her #ottom lip in sudden torment! Much as she #elieved 8aughan truly loved her, she still "asn't convinced that he hadn't actually made love to her mother all those years ago! $he relentless thought 'ept recurring that he must have done more than he'd admitted to, to ma'e sense of her mother's #rea'do"n! he loo'ed up at him, una#le to hide the anguish in her eyes! Before she could say another "ord he a#ruptly "ithdre" and rolled a"ay from her! Carolyn "as shattered at the ghastly emptiness she felt at his sudden severing of their union! %t "asn't so much a physical emptiness, as an

emotional one! 8aughan's e&asperation "ith her had suddenly put a #arrier #et"een them, a #arrier #orn of a totally different "ay of loo'ing at the situation! )e clearly #elieved there "as no real pro#lem, no impediment to their marriage! %t "as simply a matter of putting the past #ehind them! But life "asn't as simple as that!!! "%f you thin' you're going to 'eep our relationship a secret then you can thin' again," he ground out! "%'ve done nothing %'m ashamed of "ith your mother, and % refuse to act as if % have! ,ulian is a man of the "orld and "ill understand perfectly "hat happened! %sa#el "ill #lush for five minutes then forget all a#out it! *ou are ma'ing a mountain out of a molehill, Carolyn! And % "on't #e any part of it! *ou are to tell them #oth the truth as soon as they come home! %f you don't, then % "ill/" When she said nothing he sat up a#ruptly and s"ung his legs over the side of the #ed! "%'m going to have a sho"er! By the time % get out % hope you'll have come to your senses/" "8aughan, "ait/" she called after him! )e stopped at the #athroom door and turned slo"ly to face her! "Did!!!did you love your mother." she as'ed sha'ily! )e glared at her for a long long moment! "*es," he #it out! "8ery much!" "And "ould you have 'no"ingly and deli#erately ris'ed hurting her." )e loo'ed at her "ith eyes that 'ne" e&actly "hat she "as doing! "0o, of course not," he agreed on a frustrated note! "One "ee'," she pleaded! ",ust give me one "ee' after they get #ac' #efore you ma'e a reappearance in Mum's life! he's not as strong as "e are, 8aughan! %!!!% need time to prepare her! $o!!!to smooth the "ay!!!" )is smile "as rueful! "$hat's hitting #elo" the #elt and you 'no" it! But % suppose % could spare a "ee' out of a lifetime!" he sighed her relief! "And "hen e&actly are our happy honeymooners due to doc' in ydney." "0e&t +riday!" "Only seven days a"ay," he said thoughtfully, his eyes dropping to the floor!

"*es!" he sounded and felt suddenly depressed! $oo soon, she thought! Much too soon! $hey'd only -ust found each other! )e loo'ed up, and a "ic'ed grin split his face! "$here's one really positive and uplifting thought a#out seven days!" "Oh. What." " even days have seven nights/" C)A6$:5 $W:L8: "Mum/ ,ulian/ Over here/" Carolyn "aved madly, some of the tension that had #een #uilding up in her all morning lessening at the sight of her mother, #eaming at her through the cro"d! %f ,ulian had already mentioned 8aughan's name, there "as sure to have #een some sign on her mother's face! "Carolyn/ Darling/" %sa#el dropped her luggage and raced for"ard, literally thro"ing herself into her daughter's arms! "Oh, %'ve missed you so," she said, pulling #ac' to cup Carolyn's face and 'iss her in typical :uropean fashion, on #oth chee's! "My, "hat a "elcome/" Carolyn returned "ith some ama4ement! "And ho" gorgeous you loo'! All slee' and tanned! And that has to #e a 6aris original you're "earing," she admired, loo'ing over her mother's slender figure encased in a stylish dress of emerald(green linen! ",ulian, you've #een spoiling my mother outrageously," she added as her stepfather -oined them, loaded up to the hilt! "7uilty as charged," he grinned! "*ou've #een ages in Customs!" ,ulian rolled his eyes! "*our mother "ent over#oard on presents for you, most of "hich "e had to declare!" Carolyn smiled at her mother! "*ou naughty lady/ But % "on't say no! % -ust adore presents! )ere, ,ulian, let me help you!" "Me too, dear," %sa#el offered "ith a #ouncy enthusiasm that momentarily startled Carolyn! he stared for a second as her mother sparred playfully "ith ,ulian over -ust "hat she could carry!

"*ou can have this one," he teased, handing her the largest suitcase! "%t contains her perfume purchases," he told Carolyn "ith moc' dryness! ")e's e&aggerating," %sa#el laughed! "Don't you #elieve it/" Carolyn could hardly contain her relief and -oy! $hey "ere #oth so rela&ed and happy "ith each other! And her mother/ he "as a different "oman from the uncertain, timid creature she'd seen off a couple of months ago! Why, she "as almost her old confident self! 6erhaps 8aughan "as right! 6erhaps the past "ouldn't #e such a #ig pro#lem after all! $hin'ing a#out 8aughan #rought a resurgence of nerves! )e had insisted that she ma'e no attempt to 'eep his identity a secret! $here "as to #e no pulling ,ulian to one side! 0o lying! %sa#el "as to #e openly told "ho the architect "ho'd designed her ne" home "as! And Carolyn had given her "ord! 0evertheless, she hoped to #rea' the ne"s "ith a gentle nonchalance that "ould reduce the possi#ility of her mother #eing too shoc'ed! 6refera#ly, not in ,ulian's company! $he three of them shared out the luggage and started to ma'e their "ay through the #usy terminal! $he strain of hoping her stepfather "ouldn't let the cat out of the #ag prematurely had Carolyn chattering a"ay! "*ou'll #e pleased to 'no" that your lovely car is in one piece, ,ulian! 0ot a dent in sight! %n fact % #ecame so spoiled driving it around that % got rid of my old Datsun! %'m going to go out ne&t "ee' and loo' for something a #it more relia#le!" A light dri44le "as falling "hen they emerged from the terminal, #ut it "asn't heavy enough to do much damage in the couple of minutes it too' them to reach the car par' and the BMW! $hey #undled most of the cases in the #oot and the rest on the front passenger seat! ,ulian and %sa#el seemed 2uite happy to sit li'e love#irds in the #ac' "hile Carolyn acted as chauffeur! "Where to." she as'ed her stepfather! " traight to Wollongong. Or do you "ant to stop off at your place here in ydney first." ,ulian "as a "ido"er of five years "hose only child!!!a son!!!had moved to 0e" @ealand not long after his mother's death! After living in a huge house do"n on the south coast all alone for a couple of years, he'd sold it and moved into a penthouse unit in ydney, "here he'd #een e2ually lonely till he'd met %sa#el!

" traight to Wollongong for no"," he replied! "% have plenty of clothes "ith me! What a#out you, %sa#el. Do you need to go to your flat at Ashfield first." "Can't," Carolyn intervened, glancing in the rearvie" mirror at their pu44led faces! "% vacated last "ee'! Moved all the stuff "e might need do"n to the house! old everything "e didn't! )ope you don't mind, Mum, #ut % even got rid of that ghastly side#oard!" "0o, % don't mind," said an ama4ed %sa#el! "0ot at all! But goodness, "asn't that a lot of "or' for you." "% had plenty of time on my hands once % 2uit my -o#!" %sa#el fro"ned! "But "ouldn't you have had to "or' out your notice. Are you saying you -ust "al'ed out." $he reproach in her mother's voice "as only to #e e&pected! stic'ler for 'doing the right thing'! he "as a real

"%!!!er!!!"as having a #it of a pro#lem "ith one of the doctors and thought it #est to leave straight a"ay!" "What do you mean." %sa#el as'ed! "What sort of pro#lem." " he means se&ual harassment," ,ulian e&plained! ":very "or'ing girl comes across it sooner or later! At least, every girl does," he added dryly, ""ho loo's li'e Carolyn! Which reminds me!!!that architect of mine hasn't #een #othering you, has he." Oh, 7od!!!% -ust 'ne" this "as going to happen, Carolyn groaned, though coloring fiercely at the memory of the various "ays ,ulian's architect had '#othered' her this last "ee'! 8aughan had refused to let her leave his side! $hey slept together, ate together, sho"ered together! )e even too' her to "or' "ith him so that every spare moment he could "his' her off some"here, either to his house or the #each or to some private and romantic spot "here they could #e alone! %f anyone had as'ed her if it "as possi#le to ma'e love in a vintage M7, she "ould have laughed! Well!!!she had incontroverti#le proof that it "as not only possi#le, #ut fantastic/ "Damn that man/" ,ulian grum#led, totally misinterpreting her #lush! ")ell, % should have 'no"n #etter than to leave a girl as attractive as you in the clutches of a Casanova li'e that/" ",ulian/ Carolyn/ What are you t"o tal'ing a#out. ,ulian, you never said anything at all to me a#out this/ %n fact, you didn't tal' a#out the architect at

all, e&cept to say he "as #rilliant! Are you saying he's some sort of lecher and that Carolyn's #een having to deal "ith him." ,ulian sighed and Carolyn gulped! )er hands tightened on the steering("heel! %t "as difficult to concentrate on the traffic "ith her stomach churning and her eyes darting continuously to the mirror to see her mother's reactions! " omething li'e that," ,ulian muttered! Carolyn gathered her "its and did her #est to defuse the situation! "Don't #e silly, ,ulian! )e's not li'e that at all! 6eople get the "rong idea a#out him #ecause he's single and handsome! 5eally, he "as a perfect gentleman! And very easy to "or' "ith! Believe it or not, he turned out to #e someone % already 'ne"!" he too' a deep #reath and hoped she'd gone some "ay to changing ,ulian's opinion of 8aughan's character #efore she "ent on! +or the die had #een cast! he had to reveal 8aughan's identity right here and no"! But she had to act nonchalant!!!unconcerned!!!as though 8aughan "as -ust an inconse2uential name from the past! A coincidence! After all, her mother had no idea Carolyn 'ne" "hat she did a#out them, -ust as she had no idea "hat her mother's present feelings "ere for 8aughan! All she could do "as try to gauge %sa#el's emotional state #y her reaction to the ne"s! %f not too #ad, then after a "hile 8aughan and Carolyn could start openly going out together, as though their relationship had -ust #egun! %t "asn't the #est of solutions, she conceded, #ut it "as infinitely 'inder than 8aughan's idea of -ust fronting up and telling %sa#el a#out their relationship point#lan'! $ruly, the man had no sensitivity/ *et in his dealings "ith his o"n family he had #een 2uite "onderful, it seemed, having supported his "ido"ed mother and five younger #rothers and sisters ever since his father died some years ago in a mining accident at Bro'en )ill Mines! 8aughan had confided 2uite a #it of his #ac'ground during their long hours of #eing together this last "ee', and Carolyn had more than once felt guilty at ho" hastily she'd -udged him in the past! $he reason he'd al"ays "or'ed so o#sessively and might have appeared some"hat penny(pinching "as #ecause most of his money had #een channeled into giving the same college education to his si#lings that his father had given him!

$he last girl, ,esse, had -ust graduated from her nursing course last year so that the financial #urden on 8aughan had finally #een lifted! )e'd already designed and had #uilt for his mother a lovely home to replace the ancient monstrosity he'd #een #rought up in, and had #oo'ed her on a "orld cruise for this year "hen she'd #een struc' do"n #y a fatal stro'e! *es, he'd #een a loving and generous son! Carolyn only hoped he "ould continue to understand her o"n "ish to loo' after %sa#el "ith the same consideration and devotion! he glanced in the mirror at her mother's e&pectant face, and drummed up a carefree smile! "Actually you 'no" him too, Mum! %t's 8aughan later! *ou remem#er. )e #oarded "ith us for a "hile ages and ages ago!" All the #lood drained from her mother's lovely face, ma'ing it loo' grey and pinched! Carolyn s"ung her eyes #ac' to the road as her "hole stomach turned over! "8aughan!!! later." %sa#el repeated, o#viously trying not to sound as shoc'ed as she had loo'ed! "$hat's right!" Carolyn #attled to 'eep up her un"orried act #ut inside, she 'ne" it "as all going to #e useless! )er relationship "ith 8aughan "as not going to "or'! %f the mere mention of his name could do this to her mother, then "hat "ould introducing him as her lover do. "A #oarder, did you say." ,ulian -oined in! "Well, for heaven's sa'e, "hat a strange coincidence/ But there again, they say fact is stranger than fiction! And you say he "as a perfect gentleman. % am surprised! But pleased! % must call him "hen "e get to the house and as' him over for a drin', than' him for everything! $he telephone is connected, isn't it. % specifically as'ed for that to #e done #efore % got #ac'!" "*es! :verything's completely finished and fantastic," Carolyn said, hoping against hope that her mother "ould gather her "its #efore ,ulian put t"o and t"o together and came up "ith four and a half! "*ou'll #e thrilled "ith it, %'m sure! :ven the pool's full of "ater! As for the inside!!!Well!!!Maddie's #een as efficient and #rilliant as 8aughan!" "Maddie." ,ulian 2uestioned! "Oh, you mean Miss 6o"ers. %'d forgotten her first name "as Madeline!" "*es, "e've #ecome good mates! Oh, and you "ere "rong a#out her and 8aughan, ,ulian! $hey're definitely -ust good friends! %n fact, they go a long

"ay #ac'! As for as'ing 8aughan over for a drin', %'m afraid that's not possi#le," she "ent on, trundling out the e&cuse they'd prepared! ")e's interstate for a "ee'! )e said he'd ring you "hen he returns ne&t +riday!" Carolyn couldn't help #ut see her mother's intense relief! %t made her "ant to cry! "% see," ,ulian said! "Well you seem to have done splendidly, daughter, dear, overseeing everything and organi4ing such a #ig move! %'m most grateful to you! And most pleased you've chuc'ed in that dull -o# to live "ith us! Come ne&t "ee', %'ll ring up all my contacts do"n south and see "hat "e can do a#out getting you an interesting position! )ave you any idea "hat you'd li'e to do." Carolyn "as grateful to tal' a#out something else, other than 8aughan! ;uite surreptitiously, she noticed that after a fe" minutes her mother's color had returned, and, "hile she "as sitting very still, %sa#el "as no" hiding her distress surprisingly "ell! $his in itself "as a minor miracle! $he %sa#el of a fe" "ee's ago "ouldn't have #een capa#le of mas'ing her emotions so adeptly! he even finally -oined into the conversation! ":nough tal' of -o#s," she said "ith a #rightness that might have #een forced, #ut didn't seem to #e! "% "ant to tell Carolyn a#out our trip! 5emem#er ho" "e used to thin' :urope "as!!!" $he rest of the drive to Wollongong "as ta'en up "ith a lively documentation of their travels, "ith ,ulian and %sa#el often differing over "hat they li'ed most, though never "ith any rancor! A vague hope returned to Carolyn as she #ore "itness to this much more confident and assertive %sa#el, so that #y the time they arrived at the house she clim#ed out from #ehind the steering( "heel "ith some degree of optimism! $he house "as as #ig a hit as she thought it "ould #e! "Oh, ,ulian/" %sa#el e&claimed for the umpteenth time "hen they finally made it out on to the main #alcony! $he dangling rope had than'fully long #een removed, #ut Carolyn couldn't "al' out there "ithout thin'ing of 8aughan's cra4ily "onderful entrance, "ithout her "hole insides #eing "armed #y the love they shared! he 'ne" that she could never give him up! 0ever/ But there again, she didn't "ant to hurt her mother either! )er dismay at #eing caught in such a dreadful dilemma "as acute!

"%'ve never seen a vie" li'e this," %sa#el enthused! "We've #een half"ay around the "orld and nothing compares! Oh, ,ulian, than' you!!!than' you!!!" Carolyn "as startled "hen her mother thre" herself into her hus#and's arms and 'issed him! +or a fe" seconds they seemed o#livious to her presence! ,ulian eventually pulled #ac', clearing his throat a"'"ardly! %sa#el's #lush "as a #eautiful com#ination of em#arrassment and heightened sensuality! Well/ Carolyn thought, surprised, #ut very very pleased! $here "as certainly nothing platonic a#out her mother and ,ulian any more! O#viously there "as much to #e said for a honeymoon cruise and si& "ee's in :urope/ "% tell you "hat "e'll do," ,ulian suggested "ith pride! "We'll have a house"arming party and invite everyone "e 'no"! And "e'll ma'e it ne&t "ee'end, so 8aughan'll #e #ac' in time! )o" a#out that." "+ine," %sa#el agreed, #ut Carolyn noted that at the mention of 8aughan she had 2uic'ly turned her face a"ay and "as even no" "al'ing over to the #alcony "all! )er 'nuc'les turned "hite as they curled around the circular tu#ing that ran a couple of inches a#ove the top of the parapet! Carolyn didn't 'no" "hat to thin' any more! %f it had #een her decision and hers alone, she "ould as' 8aughan not to come to that party, to give %sa#el and ,ulian's marriage more time #efore he carne #ac' into %sa#el's life! But she 'ne" 8aughan "ould not do that! By ne&t aturday night, their agreed "ee' "ould #e up, and "ild horses "ouldn't 'eep him a"ay from ,ulian's house"arming! Carolyn's heart san'! he "asn't loo'ing for"ard to that party! it "ould end in disaster/ C)A6$:5 $)%5$::0 "% don't 'no" "hat you're so "orried a#out," 8aughan said! "+rom "hat you told me, your mother too' the ne"s 2uite "ell! Come #ac' to #ed, darling! We have another hour #efore % have to #e at "or'!" Carolyn stayed standing at the "indo" for a fe" more seconds, 8aughan's #athro#e clutched tightly around her, forcing herself to e&ert some "ill(po"er and not run to him every time he "anted her! Already this past "ee' she'd invented a "hole host of e&cuses to leave the house so she could #e alone "ith 8aughan! $his morning she'd come up "ith an early hairdressing he -ust 'ne"

appointment, driving off #efore eight in the Corona she'd #ought "ith her savings the previous "ee'end! "%!!!% must #e getting home, 8aughan," she lied, her #ac' to him! "% have to help Mum "ith preparations for the party tonight!" )e said nothing and she could feel him staring at her across the room! he stayed stu##ornly "here she "as, every silent second li'e an eternity! he "as a#out to "hirl round "hen his hands suddenly curved over her shoulders! ",ulian told me on the telephone that he'd hired caterers," he said calmly! "And the house could hardly #e that dirty yet!" Carolyn's "hole insides 2uivered "hen he eased her #ac' against his hard frame! 7od, "as it al"ays going to #e li'e this. she agoni4ed! %nstantaneous!!!e&plosive!!! :very muscle in her #ody tensed as she "aited for him to dip his head, to nu44le her nec', to trail "et 'isses over her hot, hot s'in! When his lips finally contacted the fluttering pulse at the #ase of her throat she moaned, t"isting her nec' around, #lindly see'ing his mouth "ith her o"n! 8aughan covered it "ith a ra" groan, ripping the #athro#e from her #ody "hile he dran' from the s"eetness! $hen, "hen she "as once again na'ed and trem#ling in his arms, he lifted her and carried her s"iftly to the #ed! Carolyn "as a hot(#ed of nerves! %t "as nearly nine! $he house "as filled "ith people! *et 8aughan "as still to put in an appearance! Maddie, "ho had finally recovered from the shoc' of finding out 8aughan had actually fallen in love and "as tal'ing marriage, "as doing her level #est to soothe Carolyn "ith her original #rand of intuition and logic! "*ou have nothing to "orry a#out, s"eetie! %'ve #een "atching your mother and ,ulian together and their #ody language spea's of mutual adoration! 8aughan has long #een forgotten, #elieve me!" Carolyn could not agree! Maddie had not seen her mother's initial reaction to the ne"s a#out 8aughan! And then there "as the evidence of %sa#el not having mentioned his name all "ee'! %f he meant nothing to her any more, then "hy not tal' a#out him. :ven yesterday, "hen ,ulian had made the telephone call to 8aughan's office to than' him for the house and invite him to the party, %sa#el had #een conspicuous in her 2uic' e&it from the room! 0o!!!Maddie "as "rong this time! %sa#el "as still har#oring feelings for 8aughan! Carolyn "as sure of it!

$he musical door#ell pealed once more over the noise of the su#tle #ac'ground music and chatting guests! %ts ringing "as li'e chal' scraping on a #lac'#oard to Carolyn's nerves, for sooner or later it "ould #e 8aughan #ehind the door, 8aughan confronting her mother again "ith all his mature magnetic #eauty, 8aughan!!!the man %sa#el had once loved madly, and "ho "as no" e2ually madly loved #y her daughter! Carolyn's apprehension increased as she sa" ,ulian and %sa#el hurry from the living(room in the direction of the front doors! "7od, Carolyn," Maddie dra"led, and too' a s"ig of her martini, "you loo' as if the doctor -ust told you you have t"enty(four hours to live! )ave some faith in your mum, "ill you. he's a very sensi#le "oman! 0ot at all the "ay % pictured! And a real lady! $here "on't #e any scenes or s"ooning from her after she sees 8aughan again! he has a hus#and of her o"n no"! he's not a vulnera#le, single, se&(starved spinster any more!" " pea'ing of se&(starved," Maddie "ent on in a hus'y "hisper! "%'ve -ust seen a gorgeous specimen of manhood over in a comer "ho's loo'ing a"fully lonely! Can't have that, can %." And she s"anned off, a vi#rant vampirish figure in flo"ing #lac' chiffon and clouds of e&otic perfume! Carolyn had no time to feel remotely sorry for Maddie's ne&t male victim! )er attention "as riveted on the trio "ho'd -ust entered the living(room! )er eyes fle" first to her mother, svelte and stylish in peacoc'(#lue sil' and diamonds! Carolyn felt almost do"dy in her plain #lac' dress and pearls! But #ehind her mother's spar'ling elegance "as undenia#le stress, spelt out #y the "ay %sa#el's hands "ere clenched tightly at her sides! And right ne&t to her left side stood 8aughan, magnificent in casual cream trousers, and an open(nec'ed #ro"n shirt! ,ulian "as #eside him, smiling and saying something to 8aughan! But his "ife "asn't smiling! he "as fro"ning, and her eyes 'ept flic'ing side"ays at 8aughan then a"ay again, as though she couldn't #ear to loo' at him for too long! All Carolyn's fears "ere consolidated as she "atched her mother's agitation, sending a #lac' despair into her heart! uddenly, 8aughan loo'ed across the room at her! )e must have seen distress "ritten on her face, for he 2uic'ly e&cused himself from his host and hostess and #egan "al'ing to"ards her! Carolyn couldn't help #ut notice her mother's eyes follo" his every move!

"% thin' you could do "ith a drin'," 8aughan said once he reached her! "Come on!!!" )e steered her over to the #ar "here he poured her a stiff cotch from the decanters of the counter! ")ere!!!get that into you and start loo'ing happy or your mother "ill "onder "hat's up!" Carolyn gripped the glass in #oth hands and stared up at 8aughan! ")appy. )o" can % loo' happy "ith disaster looming on the hori4on." "What on earth are you tal'ing out." he retorted impatiently! "*our mother's fine! ure, she "as a #it stiff "ith me, #ut that's only to #e e&pected!" "What did she say." " he than'ed me politely for the house and said she "as pleased to see %'d #ecome as successful as she'd al"ays thought % "ould #e!" "But didn't you see the "ay she loo'ed at you." " he hardly loo'ed at me at all/ 7ood grief, Carolyn, "hy are you trying to ma'e something out of nothing. *our mother is perfectly happy "ith ,ulian!" "Oh, you men are so #lind/ Mum might have #een happy "ith ,ulian, if you hadn't popped up again! But she isn't in love "ith ,ulian! he told me so! Other than my father, the only man she's ever loved is you/" 8aughan's sigh "as highly irritated! "%'ve had a#out as much of this as % can ta'e! $he person "ho's #lind is you! %sa#el "as never in love "ith me! % 'no" that as surely as % 'no" % love her cra4y daughter! But you o#viously need to hear it from the horse's mouth/" natching the untouched glass of cotch from her hands, he thumped it do"n on the #ar and hauled her unceremoniously over to "here ,ulian and %sa#el "ere tal'ing to Maddie and her latest prey! "Do e&cuse me," he interrupted #luntly, "#ut Carolyn and % have a pro#lem that only %sa#el can solve! Do you thin' "e could see you alone for a moment." he as'ed the startled lady! ":r!!!yes, of course!" her hus#and! he darted Carolyn a pu44led glance #efore turning to

",ulian. Will you loo' after our guests, see they all have drin's. $hat "aiter "e hired 'eeps getting lost! And Maddie!!!you 'eep Miles entertained for us!" "My pleasure!" Maddie smiled gleefully!

Carolyn felt as if she "as going to the guillotine as 8aughan pushed her after her mother's retreating figure! "Well. )o" can % help you." %sa#el said once they reached the privacy of the study! "$here's no polite "ay to as' "hat % am a#out to as', %sa#el," he #egan, and Carolyn groaned silently! "% "ouldn't as' at all e&cept your daughter's happiness is at sta'e!" %sa#el loo'ed alarmed! "Carolyn's happiness." Carolyn shoo' her head in agitation! "% need to 'no" the reason #ehind your #rea'do"n ten years ago!" %sa#el's gasp "as follo"ed #y an anguished loo' in her daughter's direction! "*ou told him a#out that. But "hy." Carolyn grimaced! "*our daughter," 8aughan interrupted s"iftly, "seems to have gained the impression that you "ere once in love "ith me! he "as "orried that my turning up in your life again might adversely affect your marriage! $hat's "hy she told me a#out your #rea'do"n, to try to convince me to stay out of your life! % told her she "as "rong to thin' %'d #een the cause of your #rea'do"n and that you had never loved me, #ut she -ust doesn't #elieve me!" %sa#el loo'ed do"n at her suddenly t"isting hands, a deep fro"n on her face! When she loo'ed up again, her eyes carried fear! "But "hat made you thin' % "as in love "ith 8aughan." she as'ed her daughter! Carolyn had no option at this stage #ut to tell the truth! $he day 8aughan left! "!!!%!!!% overheard you raving a#out ho" he'd told you he loved you, ho" you "ouldn't have slept "ith him other"ise!!!" %sa#el loo'ed appalled! "% already suspected there "as something #et"een you," Carolyn "ent on! "*ou see, %!!!% sa" you and 8aughan together the night #efore!!!in the living room! %'d come home early from #allet!!!" %sa#el's hands fle" to clasp the sides of her face, pained eyes darting to 8aughan!

"5emem#er." he said gently! "% thought % heard a sound!" $he chee's under her fingers "ent #right red! "Oh, ho" a"ful!!!Oh, Carolyn!!!%'m so sorry!!!Oh, dear, % feel so ashamed!!!#ut!!!" her hands slipped #ac' do"n to her sides and the e&pression in her eyes changed to a rueful regret "!!!you've got it all "rong!" Carolyn's stomach flipped over! "*ou mean you didn't love him." )er mother shoo' her head! "0o!!!%'ve only ever really loved one man in my "hole life!" Carolyn felt sic' "ith relief! father!" he turned to 8aughan! " he's tal'ing a#out my

"0o/" came her mother's startling denial! "% don't mean your father! %'m tal'ing a#out ,ulian!" "But!!!#ut!!!" %sa#el came slo"ly for"ard and too' her daughter's hands in hers! "Carolyn!!!dear!!!% never "anted you to find out! % "anted you to 'eep #e living that your father and mother had loved each other so much that their love transcended the rules of society!" Carolyn "as #eyond "ords! he "as stunned! "% really thought % loved your father! But % "as young, and easily impressed! And of course, he said he loved me! But his love "as only lust and after a fe" months he didn't "ant me any more! $he day he had his heart attac' he'd -ust told me our love "as a lie, that it "as nothing #ut se&, that % #ored the hell out of him and that he "as going #ac' to his "ife! % "as crushed!!!mortified!!!%'d #ro'en all my moral rules for this man! % "as having his #a#y in a couple of months and there he "as telling me there had #een nothing #et"een us #ut se&!" %sa#el dre" in a ragged sigh! ":motionally and mentally, % simply refused to accept such an unromantic e&planation for our actions! With his sudden death % "as a#le to go on living the lie, convincing myself he had loved me! And that % had loved him! $hat lie #ecame my strength, my motivation for going on alone! %t "asn't until 8aughan came into my life that % finally understood the po"er of se&ual frustration and need! % had #een lonely for male company for some time! $hen, suddenly, there "as this gorgeous young man in my o"n home! % "ouldn't have #een human if % hadn't desired him under those circumstances! As the months "ent #y % #ecame more and more o#sessed "ith having se& "ith him! uddenly, the time dre" near "hen he "ould #e leaving! %f % didn't act!!!"

A guilty #lush suffused her chee's, #ut she 'ept her chin up #ravely and Carolyn thought her mother had never #een more "onderful! Or more courageous! "% deli#erately set out to seduce 8aughan the night you sa" us together," she confessed! "% made him a fancy dinner, gave him "ine, dressed seductively! % did everything % could to get him into #ed "ith me! Of course, at the time % told myself % "as in love "ith him! %n my "arped mind, se& and love had #ecome insepara#le! 8aughan "ouldn't do it, ho"ever! )e "as "orried a#out you! $he ne&t day, "ith the #lunt honesty of youth, he made me see the truth for "hat it "as! When % said % loved him, he forced me to see my lie and that % had acted solely from se&ual need! 3nfortunately, % had for far too long lived my life on the premise that this couldn't #e so for a decent "oman! When % "as finally forced to face the fact that % hadn't loved your father any more than he had loved me % -ust couldn't cope! %t "as your father's treachery you heard me raving a#out that day! 0ot 8aughan's! 8aughan never did anything dishonora#le at all!" "% "ouldn't say that," 8aughan groaned! "%ndirectly, % did cause your #rea'do"n, "ith my lac' of tact! My insensitivity! Oh, %sa#el, %'m so sorry!!!" "Don't #e," %sa#el said "ith a catch in her throat! "*ou "ere young! And you only spo'e the truth! *ou "eren't to 'no" you "ere dealing "ith such a "ea' "oman!" "0ot "ea', %sa#el! ,ust s"eet and 'ind and good! % "ould envy ,ulian," he "ent on, dra"ing Carolyn close to his side, "if % hadn't already captured for myself the heart of your lovely daughter!" %sa#el's #eautiful #lue eyes opened "ith astonishment as they moved from Carolyn to 8aughan to Carolyn again! " o," she sighed, and dashed a tear from her eye! "*ou've finally fallen in love!" "*es, Mum," Carolyn admitted, her o"n eyes shimmering! ")o" "onderful!!!And you'll #e getting married." she directed at 8aughan "ith a sterner tone! )e grinned! "As soon as possi#le!" %sa#el "as slightly ta'en a#ac'! "*ou don't mean!!!"

"0o!" )e laughed! "% don't mean!" "0ot that it "ould matter," %sa#el relented, "since you're really in love!" he #eamed at Carolyn! "Well, isn't this marvelous. And there %'d #een, "orried stiff all "ee' that 8aughan might say something in front of you, and %'d lose your respect and love!" Carolyn stepped for"ard and gave her mother a hug! "*ou could never do that, Mum!" "$hat's -ust "hat ,ulian said!" %sa#el "iped another tear from her eye! "% told him, of course, "hat had happened all those years ago and he said % "as a silly goose to "orry a#out "hat "as a piece of ancient history, and that even if %'d committed high treason my darling daughter "ould still love me! Oh he's such a "onderful man, Carolyn! % don't 'no" "hy it too' me so long to reali4e ho" much % loved him! hall "e go and tell him the good ne"s." "Why don't "e tell everyone." 8aughan suggested! "What do you say, s"eetheart." And he gave Carolyn a 'iss on the chee'! " hall "e announce our engagement tonight." he ga4ed up at him and tried a"fully hard not to cry! "We haven't a ring," she cho'ed out! "Well, it -ust so happens!!!" Carolyn stared as he dre" a red velvet #o& from his poc'et and flipped it open to reveal the most e&2uisite diamond! " hall "e see if it fits." he murmured! Carolyn suddenly remem#ered Maddie ma'ing her try on a large ru#y ring during the "ee', supposedly so she could loo' at it from a distance! " omething tells me," she said, a lump in her throat, "that it'll #e perfect!" "Li'e the lady "ho "ill "ear it," he returned softly, and slipped it on to her finger! Maddie sighed "ith e&asperation as she "atched the happy couple accepting 'isses and congratulations from all and sundry! $ruly, anyone "ould thin' that marriage "as the #e!!!all and end!!!all/ )eavens, she "ould rather go to the dentist every day than get married! )orrid, #oring institution/ When the throng around 8aughan and Carolyn lessened she sashayed for"ard and e&tended a scarlet(nailed hand to each of them! "Best of luc', my darlings," she said, thin'ing to herself that one "ould need a hell of a lot of

luc' to ma'e a go of such an unnatural arrangement! +ancy e&pecting a "oman to tie herself to one man for the rest of her life! 5idiculous/ " o tell me," she dra"led indulgently, ""hat "ould you li'e for a "edding present. Ah, yes, %'ve -ust the thing! My services free to decorate that ghastly dump you live in, 8aughan! %'ll en-oy ma'ing it ha#ita#le for your #eautiful #ride!" he smiled smugly at them! "And % have -ust the painting to put over the fireplace/" "0o, you don't, Maddie, dear," 8aughan vetoed! "$he only place that particular painting is going "ill #e "here no other male "ill ever see it and "here it "ill do the most good! Over my #ed/" "What a party(pooper you are, 8aughan," Maddie complained! "Al"ays have #een," he agreed "ith a grin, then leant close to "hisper something in Carolyn's ear! he laughed and soon they "ere ma'ing a hurried e&it! "Where are 8aughan and Carolyn off to." ,ulian as'ed Maddie! "% thin'," she said "ith a straight face, "they have an urgent need to inspect the location for a painting % -ust gave them! Which reminds me!!!tell me a#out Miles, "ill you, ,ulian. % mean!!!he's not married, is he." "Let your hair do"n," 8aughan said "ith seduction in his voice and desire in his glance! "*ou 'eep your eyes on the road, you naughty man," Carolyn reprimanded, though she did as he as'ed, un"inding her plait and fluffing her long hair out "ith her fingers! %t #le" out #ehind her as the M7 "hi44ed along, ma'ing her feel free and invigorated and -ust a little #it "ild! "7od, #ut %'m happy," she cried, tipping #ac' her head and laughing "ith the uninhi#ited -oy of a person from "hose shoulders an intolera#le #urden had -ust #een lifted! )er mother didn't love 8aughan1 had never loved 8aughan! %t "as li'e a miracle come true! he lifted her left hand and t"isted it this "ay and that, the diamond ring flashing its #rilliance under the street(lights! "Li'e it." 8aughan as'ed! )er smile "as slightly reproachful! " illy 2uestion!"

"Let's not "ait long to #e married, my darling!" "0o, let's not!" 8aughan gave a lo" laugh! ",ust as "ell you aren't pregnant, though! % thin' %sa#el "ould have s'inned me alive if you "ere!" " he "ouldn't have minded, really! 0either "ould %! %'d love to have your #a#y, 8aughan! 0ot -ust one, either! %'ve al"ays hated #eing an only child!" )er heart turned over at the loo' he slid her "ay! %t "as full of love and "onder and admiration! "*ou can have as many #a#ies as you li'e, #ut do you honestly thin' %'d ma'e a good father." "*ou'd #e hopeless at first," she teased! "But given time!!!and practice!!!" ")o" much practice." " hall "e say!!!half a do4en." "My 7od, if that's the num#er "e're aiming for, "e haven't a second to lose!" %t "as pro#a#ly coincidence that this "as the precise moment they arrived at 8aughan's house, even though the M7 "as directed into the drive"ay "ith "hat Carolyn considered undignified haste! "On second thoughts," 8aughan "ent on as he snapped off the engine and hurdled over his door! "% thin' that % should practice my fathering techni2ue a little longer #efore "e put it to the supreme test!" "Do you, indeed." Carolyn adopted a straight face #efore he reached her side of the car! "% "ould have thought you'd auditioned 2uite "ell for the part already!" he had trou#le stifling her giggles as she put her hand in his and allo"ed him to pull her to her feet and into his arms! till, % do have this pathetically short memory span, and since it is already many hours since % sampled your!!!um!!!paternity potential, perhaps you should give me a further sample of your services #efore a firm decision is made." "Well/ %'ve never heard such a disgracefully disguised se&ual proposition in all my life," he pronounced "ith moc' disapproval! "And to thin' it came from the s"eet lips of the girl % love, the girl "hose very innocence first captured my attention, "ho, might % add, constantly castigated me for my loose lifestyle, "ho!!!"

"Why don't you shut up and ma'e love to me, you fool." she rasped, and slid her arms up around his nec'! A satisfied smile pulled at his mouth as it s"ooped, leaving time for only t"o short "ords #efore it covered hers! "7ood idea!" $he :nd