Ultimate Guide to Handling Shit Tests

50 Cool Comebacks to Drive Her Wild!!! By Artisan

Table of Contents

Why Do Women Test Men? She Will Test You Until Youre Dead Basic Principles Ways of Handling Congruency Tests I Have a Boyfriend I Dont Give Out My Number I Have to Go Bitchiness and Blowouts Insults General Questions AMOG Non-Verbal Non-Compliance (rejects your kiss) Random Jumping Through Her Hoops Free Resources, Texting Girls and Personal Coaching

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Why Do Women Test Men? There are 3 main reasons a woman will test a man.

#1. She has a legitimate reason She may actually have a boy friend or she may actually really be in a hurry and needs to get back to her friends. Not all women just make up excuses. A lot of them really do have other things going on that are more important than talking to you or giving out her number. So just deal with it and except it. Dont be butt-hurt, instead be genuinely happy for her that she has a boyfriend. Remember, abundancy mentality!

#2. Defense system (aka bitch shield) Beautiful women get approached all the time. Especially out at night when lame guys have liquid courage. Could you imagine how annoying that must get? Women need a defense system to weed out the guys that arent worth their time. So, if a girl backturns you at a bar, it might just be her defense system at work. If you can interrupt her defense pattern in such a way that shows you are unaffected by her behavior then you are in and it will actually (most of the time) make her attracted to you.

#3. Shes interested in you and wants to test for congruency Have you ever thought that she might actually be into you and she just wants to make sure youre not full of shit!? Thats right, she might be testing to see if youre really as cool/confident as you seem. The best way to find out for sure is to do or say something that will try to throw you off your game. If you arent thrown off by her test, then the attraction will skyrocket. If, however, you get offended or seem affected by what she did or said, you will lose attraction. A good example of failing her congruency test is you go in for a kiss and she turns her head and you respond with, hey whats wrong I thought you liked me? GAME OVER.

Whatever the reason is that she gives you an objection does matter so much. What matters is how you handle it. All you really have to do is. NOT BE AFFECTED.

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She Will Test You Until Youre Dead Women test men for life. Yes, thats right. It never ends. Well, until you are dead that is. Even in a relationship. Even when you are married. Your women will still test you. WHY? Because, its her way of feeling your strength and power as a man. Shes a woman and she wants to feel your masculine strength. It turns her on. One reason so many relationships fail is because the man responds the wrong way to a woman when she just wants to feel his strength. Instead the man gets mad and is affected by her. Dont be mad or upset that a woman is testing you. She is doing you a favor. She wants you to be a man. She wants you to be masculine. She wants you to be confident and unaffected. She wants you to be her rock. Overcoming a shit test is the fastest way to spark high levels of attraction and arousal in a woman because it shows you are a real man. So next time a woman gives you a test you should be excited because she just wants to feel your masculine power as a man so she can be more attracted to you. Learn to love the shit test. In fact, from here on out we are no longer calling them shit tests, we are calling them congruency tests. Why? Because, congruency tests sound like a good thing!

Basic Principles

#1. Dont be affected by her congruency test

Nothing a woman says or does should throw you off because you are a sold man. You are like a rock. Nothing can break you, not even a woman telling you to fuck off! Nothing phases you because you are a high value man who gets his worth and value from himselfnot some random girl at a club. Be non reactive when a random beautiful woman says something that surprises you because you really dont care about her that much. She hasnt done anything to win your approval yet so why would you care if she says something unexpected or mean? I have one word for you.ignore.

#2. Managing tension

Women love tension. Think about it, women love drama right? Drama is tension. When a woman seduces a man does she just tear at him like a savage beast? Well, maybe in porno. No, she teases him, makes him think shes gonna take her panties off but then she pulls them back up. She creates tension.

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Men, however, generally want to release tension. When a woman tests us it creates tension and most men have the tendency to break the tension right away. Instead, have fun with the tension. Amplify the tension. Dance with the tension. And introduce more tension. An example would be when a girl says, I have a boyfriend and you respond by looking her straight in the eyes and say, and now you also have a lover.shhh we wont tell him.

#3. Do the unexpected

Shes expecting you to give up.so dont give up you fool! Do what she doesnt expect like go in for a kiss. She says, I have a boyfriend and you say, well that deserves a hug. Think shed expect that? Doing or saying something she doesnt expect breaks her set pattern or routine and creates attraction.

Ways of Handling Congruency Tests

#1. Ignore anything that doesnt help you

Why would you talk about ANYTHING that isnt going to serve the pick up? EXAMPLES: Her: I have to go You: Oh That reminds me You: Cool tattoo, what does that tattoo mean? Her: I got it when my fianc died You: What does that other tattoo mean? Note: You are actually doing her a favor because she doesnt want to talk about how her fianc died!

#2. Agree and Absurdify

You never want to logically get in an argument with her. That just plain isnt attractive. Instead, agree with it because thats not what shed expect. And then blow it out of proportion because its funny and humor can diffuse almost any situation! EXAMPLES:

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Her: I dont give out my number. You: Of course you dont, well just have to use telepathy Her: I dont give out my number You: Itll be ok, Im just gonna call you 50 times a day (a guy who really calls a girl 50 times a day would never admit it) Her: turns her back on you You: You do that so well. I have a little sister and she gets hit on all the time so you have to teach me so I can show her. Is it like this? (Turn in such a way that makes fun of her) Her: No I cant go with you You: My God, how refreshing...Someone who can say no... So many people have trouble saying no...they give all those lame excuses like. Her: I have a boyfriend You: Of course but Im from the boyfriend replacement agency and Im sorry to inform you that hes broken up with you

BONUS: NLP Formula for Agree and Absurdify (credit Vince Kelvin) Step 1: Agreement - Talk about what is. - Use I understand or of course EXAMPLE: I understand you dont give your number away or of course you have a boyfriend

Step 2: Negation - Talk about what isnt. - Use and its not like EXAMPLE: And its not like Im asking you to passionately make out with me EXAMPLE: And its not like were going to have hot passionate sex all night long

Step 3: Suggestions - Talk about how it isnt - Use positive statements make out passionately EXAMPLE: start to hang out just like lovers, and make out passionately

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Step 4: Negotiation - Talk about how it could be. - Use but if we did or but if you would EXAMPLE: but it would be fun to at least get to know each other a little bit more

Step 5: Direction or Restriction - Talk about what will be. - Use So I tell you what or so lets at least or but if we did have sex youd have to promise me you wouldnt become a sex crazed nympho stalker. EXAMPLE: So I tell you what, lets at least find a way to be in touch and briefly chat some more

EXAMPLE NLP FORMULA FOR AGREE AND ABSURDIFY: I understand you have a boyfriend, and its not like were going to have hot passionate sex right here in public, yet itd be funto at least hang out as friends

#3. Turn it around on her

Blame it all on herin a fun playful way of course. EXAMPLES: Her: I have a boyfriend You: Slow down, youre already thinking about me as boyfriend material, jeez? Her: Heres my card You: what! your business card? Thats lame. no thanks, give me your number Her: Youre such a dick You: Yeah but you love dick I can tell Her: I dont like your shirt You: Well it doesnt like you either Her: Are you gay? You: I dont think solets find out (then go in for a kiss) Her: Youre not my type You: You dont seem like the type that has a type

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#4. Canned
Think about this, if your 7-year old cousin said, you look gay, would you say, shut up you bitch! NO, of course not. Youd say, aw thats cute, who taught you that? because youre unaffected by it right? It didnt hurt your feelings because shes just a 7year old. So treat the girl testing you like shes your 7-year old cousin. EXAMPLES: You are just too adorable What are we gonna do with you? Hold out your hand (smack it) Bad girl

#5. Genuine
Sometimes if shes being super rude then you could just be genuine and tell her how shes acting. EXAMPLE: Her: Fuck off You: Oh I get it. You probably act this way all the time. And I bet most people by it. But I dont by it. I bet you act all rude to people and a lot of people think youre a bitch, but I think youre like a candy all hard on the outside and all soft on the inside. You just have to act this way because there are so many lame guys hitting on you (point away so she doesnt associate you with lame guys) and you get sick of it. But Ill tell you what, Ill give you one more chance.

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I HAVE A BOY FRIEND AGREE AND ABSURDIFY Her: I have a boyfriend You: I know I'm from the boyfriend replacement agency. He cant make it

FUNNY Her: I have a boyfriend You: He's mine you bitch (said in a feminine tone) Her: I have a boyfriend You: I have a math test Her: huh? So? You: I thought we were naming things we could cheat on

TURN IT AROUND ON HER You: "Do you want me to call you?" Her: "I have a boyfriend" You: "That's not what I asked you"

ROLE-PLAY Her: I have a boyfriend You: "Come on, sneak away with me right now Her: I have a boyfriend You: Oh I was so worried youd never find someone. Your family and friends they all thought it was hopeless Her: I have a boyfriend You: And now you also have a lover. That's pretty impressive. Shhh we won't tell anyone it'll be our little secret. He can buy you all the shoes and jewelry you want, and I'll do all the things your boyfriend is too afraid to do to you.

CONFIDENT Her: I have a boyfriend You: Would he be mad that Im hitting on you? Her: Well yeah You: Well it sounds like you need a new boyfriend

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I DONT GIVE OUT MY NUMBER FUNNY Her: I don't give out my number You: Why? we're just gonna have mad passionate text all night long. Are you textually active?

GENUINE Her: I dont give out my number You: Wow finally a girl that can say no. Thats actually refreshing.

TURN IT AROUND ON HER Her: I dont give out my number You: Oh my god you poor dear, then you must not have any friends huh? Ive never met anyone with zero friends before. Ok, Ill tell you what, Ill be your first friend, but you have to promise you dont go all crazy calling me all the timepromise?

I HAVE TO GO CONFIDENT Her: I have to go You: No, what u have to do is X (X=find a way for us to be in touch, tell me something cool about yourself in 33 words or less, etc) Credit: Vince Kelvin Her: I have to go You: Change of plans youre coming with me

ROLE-PLAY Her: I have to get back to my friends You: Your friends they left you. They hired me I'm a male escort. So what do you want to do the rest of the night? I expect a big tip

UTILIZE Her: I have to go You: Perfect so do I. Lets at least exchange numbers and if youre cool on the phone, maybe well hang out

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AGREE AND ABSURDIFY Her: I have to go You: Of course you have to go, its not like Im going to seduce you right here in the store in front of everyone. But, if I dohang out with you well have to get to know each other first.

BITCHINESS AND BLOWOUTS TURN IT AROUND ON HER Her: Get lost You: Let's play Who's The Most Stuck-Up Tonight, congratulations so far youre winning! Her: Sorry youre not our type You: Oh I didnt think you were the type that had a type

ROLE-PLAY Her: Snood remark Me: So sorry your highness, please forgive me (sarcastic tone) Credit: Vince Kelvin

FUNNY/UNEXPECTED Her: Sorry, were having a conversation here You: "Come on you can do better than that, at least give me a good Fuck You. I'm a big boy I can handle it"

COCKY Her: Sorry youre not our type You: Listen Hun, you need to lower your standards the way I just did Her: Continually saying no to your requests You: Well better luck next time and walk away

FUNNY Her: Being feisty You: You guys are feisty like the powerpuff girls

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GENUINE Her: Fuck off! You: Oh I get it, I bet you act this way all the time but I dont buy it. I bet people think youre a bitch but deep down your as sweet as a piece of candy thats hard on the outside and soft on the inside. You just have to act this way because you get hit on a lot. Its ok I understand. Ill give you another chance.

INSULTS CANNED Her: Do your parents know youre gay? (Yes is a bad answer and No is a bad answer) You: Aw youre cute Her: Insult You: "weak" or "wow" and look unimpressed Her: Insult You: "Aaaaaaand youre done"

TURN IT AROUND ON HER Her: Are you gay or something? You: Oh my god.Imwell Im not sure. I need to find out! Come here. (Go in for a kiss) Her: Youre not funny You: Your face is not funny Her: Youre X (X=stupid, gay, lame, ugly, etc.) You: Your face is X

COCKY FUNNY Her: Insult You: Fake high-five. Go for high five and then when shes about to high five you back look away and scratch your head.

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GENERAL QUESTIONS COCKY FUNNY Her: How old are you? You: You tell me first Her: Im only 18 You: Oh youre way too old for me or oh my god youre over the hill (if she's young) Her: What's your age? You: (answer) Her: Wow youre old Me: Yeah it's fucking scandalous Credit: James Marshall

ROLE-PLAY Her: Where are you from? You: I'm not from around here. I need a green card. Let's get married. Ill be your trophy husband. Are you ok with sex only 3 times a day?

SEXUAL TENSION Her: What do you do? You: I'm a professional pick pocketer. Your panties, theyre mine.

ROLE-PLAY Her: Where are you from? You: I'm just a product of your imagination I'm not even real. You have a crazy imagination. Let's see how crazy you really are.

AMOG (alpha male of the group)

AMOG: Comes into your set. You: "Hey man I'll pay you a hundred dollars right now to take these girls away from me", then flex and say "ladies what do you think of these huge muscles", point to the AMOG and say, "I'm gonna hire you to be my X" X=bodyguard, website designer, etc.

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AMOG: Youre gay You: No, Im straight. My boyfriends gay

AMOG: Youre gay You: Sorry man youre not my type

NON-VERBAL Just look at her like 'are you serious? Do you not see how cool I am?' or 'are you from mars because every woman here wants me' If she whines or complains play mini violin or make a tear gesture.

NON-COMPLIANCE GENUINE/SHOW YOU DONT CARE Her: We're not having sex, I just met you You: I have to wake up early besides I have whisky dick (then keep escalating)

CONFIDENT THEN GENUINE Her: I don't have sex on the first date You: Oh my god I'm so flattered, I'm gonna be your first. Seriously I like you, I want to be close to you but we don't have to go all the way

TEASE You: Go in for a kiss Her: Turns away You: "Youre adorable, you don't know how to kiss, youre out of practice don't worry I will help you"

TURN IT AROUND ON HER You: Go in for a kiss Her: Wow what are you doing? You: Look confused and say, I dont know, you must have put some sort of spell on me. I knew it, youre some sort of hypnotist that puts spells on poor suspecting guys

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Her: Says or does something you dont like You: "That's it youre cut" You: Come over here Her: I cant You: You are losing major cool points. I like girls that are X. X=the opposite behavior of what shes doing, adventurous, spontaneous, etc. Her: Non-responsive You: "Hmm you guys need some shots then come find me"

CONFIDENT Her: Continuously says no You: Finally I met my match someone that can say no. But you'll change your mind I'm very persuasive/charming

AGREE AND ABSURDIFY Her: Turns her back when you open You: Nice, you have to teach me that. My sister is way too nice and talks to everyone. I need to show her how to do that. Is it like this? (turn your back on her and mock her behavior)

CANNED If you don't start behaving I'm putting you on timeout Thats minus 10 cool points Go like this, proceed to hold out your hand until she mimics you. Then slap her hand and say the next one will be on your ass Come on dont be gay

RANDOM GENUINE Her: You just hit on my friend You: What can I say I'm a man of good taste

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You: Youre cute Her: Thanks You: Don't thank me I didn't make you.although I do have a lot of god-like qualities Note: this is not a congruency test just a demonstration of a clever way to respond You: Cool hat Her: Thanks You: Dont thank me I didnt make italthough I do have a sense of appreciation for it Credit: Vince Kelvin Note: this is not a congruency test just a demonstration of a clever way to respond

TURN IT AROUND ON HER Her: Are you a pick up artist? You: Really? Is that the best you got? Lame!

JUMPING THROUGH HER HOOPS CHALLENGE HER Her: Buy me a drink You: What do I get? Her: She responds You: Come on you can do better than that

GET HER TO JUMP THROUGH YOUR HOOP Her: Buy me a drink You: Sure you get the first round Ill get the next round

GENUINE Her: Will you X? X=buy a drink, buy diner, lend money, etc. You: I don't X, let's get to know each other then take it from there

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