There was a time when life was much simpler

There was a time when life was a bit simpler and not so very tough. Why, I recollect those carefree bygone days of my youth. 

There was dirt roads, windmills, digging worms  and cane poles for fishing, water buckets with its dipper, and outhouses. You could usually find young lads trying to stay on a bucking milk pen calf or prim and proper lasses doing cross stitch. 

The old folks were usually churning butter or shelling black eyed peas when they were not huddling around the crackling static of an old radio trying to catch the latest news of the war or humming along with the Pillsbury Dough Boys or Bob Wills. Sunday found them preparing for preachin,’ all day singin,’ and dinner on the ground. 

Then there was that Sunday when church members observed a row of bald-headed old men, or is that just some fun-loving youngsters with burr haircuts? Yes, life tended to be simpler back in the good ol’ days and that row of bald heads was a result of Saturday night at the barbershop. 

Alexander, Texas, in the 1940s and 1950s had shrunk from a thriving city with aspirations of being the county seat of Erath County, until the railroad went a different direction, to a small rural community with a couple of general store/gas station businesses, a post office, a Baptist Church, and a one room, one chair barbershop where Truett Walker cut hair on Friday and Saturday nights after he finished his daytime job of driving a butane truck and maintaining the local telephone party line system that saw his wife Gertrude handling the switchboard duties. 

Folks came for miles around to get a Saturday night haircut that cost you two-bits. Until the mid-fifties, these haircuts were performed with non-electric hand clippers and a straight razor sharpened on a razor strap! While waiting their turn, many played  checkers or just talked about the war, crops, or the weather. Now, the new preacher was bald headed and quite self-conscious of the fact. Billy Ray devised a plan that should help him fit in. 

Because the boys of the community liked him and wanted to do their part, they followed Billy Ray’s lead. This is where a handful of young lads went along with the idea of getting burr haircuts and getting to church early Sunday morning dressed in their suits and ties to appear on the amen row for all the world to see. 

Of course, the boys could hear folks behind them wondering, “who those old bald-headed men were and what are they doing up there!”  

But the preacher thought they were making fun of him, so he preached them a sermon that had all of the congregation squirming because of its length, and the amen row  did their share of squirming and also plotting to get even with the instigator of their prank! Yes, life tended to be simpler yesterday.

Amen Row

Oh, it was a grand scheme that they had come upon,

Would help pass the time away,

After all, that new preacher said seeds should be sown,

This is how they could have their say.

Leave it to Billy Ray to come up with a plan,

An’ you know that he will share it,

‘Cuz he’ll just make it work the best that he can,

But for us, it will take grit!

This could just be the thing that put the church abuzz,

Shore might make folks wonder some,

Flamboyant show, that’s just how Billy Ray does,

Shoot, wait ‘til you see the outcome.

See, the preacher’s hairless head was smooth as a dome,

Why? Nobody had a clue,

Sorta like a Cadillac hubcap made of chrome,

An’ shiny as a mirror too.

They would need the barber to do his part,

An’ keep this secret to himself,

Yep, he would make a perfect counterpart,

Everyone knew he was top shelf.

So that Saturday night, he shaved each boy’s head,

Added Baker’s Best to make them shine,

So, they could sit on that Amen Row with word unsaid,

Old bald-headed men in a line.

Sunday morning, they filed in an’ took their seat,

Preacher thought they were mocking him,

So, he began to preach an’ he never missed a beat,

Those boy’s outlook was purty grim.

He pounded the pulpit an’ preached for over an hour,

An’ he gained strength an’ never slowed,

Preachin’ the doom of Hell’s brimstone an’ fire

Givin’ them the whole dang load.

An’ them boys began to squirm on that hard church pew,

While their thoughts went to Billy Ray,

An’ their venomous thoughts began to spew,

Without a doubt, he would pay!

But the preacher reminded them of brotherly love,

Vengeance was God’s to bestow,

An’ they must be mindful of God up above,

As he rubbed each head on the Amen Row.

©  Ol’ Jim Cathey

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