The Animal

Happy Madison productions brings you another hysterical movie! Granted, anybody who has ever known or been around animals will laughter a little harder, but still this is the funniest movies in quite a while.

Rob Schneider was the perfect man to pull this puppy off. He's, um, er, petite and we bought the loser turned animal bit- a little too easily perhaps. The story was surprisingly unique and fast paced.

You'll want to avoid and kind of intaking of a beverage natural while viewing this movie, because dollars to donuts it'll come blasting out of your nostrils onto the guy in front of ya-- trust me.

Story goes... Marvin Mange (Rob -If he were only a smidge taller- Schneider) is a wimpy asthmatic loser with exponents the size of Benicio del Toro's thighs. He's desperate to get on the police force, but as he's failed the obstacle course four times there's a better chance of Rosie O'Donnell being straight...

He's left alone one day while the rest of the boys form the precinct are out playing some ball. He gets a 211 (armed robbery) call and has to go it alone. Enroute he is derailed by a circus seal mysteriously blocking the road. He flies over the cliff, in one of the funniest car-over-the-cliff- scenes I've ever seen, and is left a broken man- literally.

A strange ranger sort saves him by rebuilding him a' la the six million dollar man meets Dr. Doolitle. So Marvin's more of a Frankenweenie human with a keen sense of smell that's perpetually in a state of heat. See, Marvin gets his new chance at life after miscellaneous animal parts are transplanetd through a proceure known as "Radical Transpeciesoctomy" or some such nonsense. And after a whole week's recovery (go with it) he's back in the world of Human Erectus'.

Problem is his new animal parts he inherited are taking' over the his normally dormant animal instincts. The hilarity begins.

He meets a pretty gal and animal activist, Riana (Colleen Haskell-yes, that girl from Survivor- who happens to have a degree in theater. Hmm. Nah, that show was real. It wasn't a fix. The cast was really just everyday actors-er-models-er-folks like us). Will the love bug bite or Marvin?

Then just as poor Marvin finds happiness, some manbeast is ripping apart cows at night. The village people want blood, Marvin's blood. That and to carry their lit torches in an angry mob!

What's to become of the elfin Marvin? Will he be hunted down like wild boar, and his bulbous head mounted on the mayor's wall? Or will he settle down with a nice Billy goat from the right side of the tracks and start a small herd of his own?

You'll have to just go and see, because this one is highly recommended.

There are a couple of other cast members that need mention. Norm McDonald, who I'd jump on like a rabid rhesus monkey given the chance, plays a callous mob member riddled with confusion at how the whole darn mob mentally flows. Of course Adam Sandler makes an appearance- ever so briefly- to cheering audience members. That was weird. And Marvin's nemesis the sargeant at his police department, played by John C McGinley, is as obnoxious as any drunken bleacher quarterback in the cheap seats at the superbowl. Brilliantly funny!

Hmm, I use to dislike Sandler so very much. Now there's this new funny trend he's jumped on. I may have to rethink this year's ASSCUKA (American Sandler Sucks-Cocky-Unfunny Kreep- Association) membership dues...Cause the boy can pick them. Funny movies to produce I mean.

Snack recommendation: Badger milk and semi-chewed earthworm.