Hello, Welcome. I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. Musing Interruptus is a podcast for sharing thoughts and stories and enjoying idiomatic phrases. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode; click on continue reading to open a Google Doc with the complete transcription. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. The background music is called Dirty Wallpaper by Blue Dot.
Today, Guess: Who is Phil?
I’m sharp, see? Some people might mistakenly think I don’t like being sharpened. Let me tell you, that is actually a very satisfying part of my job. I love the feel of the blade shaving the dullness out of me. When my favorite hands are not in the mood, I get angry. We have a mission here. I need you to focus. That is what I think.
I’m used to adapting, from heavy and determined to light insecure hands.  
I’ve been in the hands of waiters; they are heavy, consultants who take notes, mostly bullshit if you ask me, and standardized test takers. That was very boring, just filling in circles. I could always tell if they would pass or fail, just from the determination in shading in those circles. Don’t get me started on my eraser. I get that that’s what it is there for, but come on, there comes a time when you just have to trust yourself. 
As I mentioned, I like working with one hand in particular. It has been my favorite. If I were human, I would marry it or spend the rest of my life with it. He isn’t perfect. I am. That is how I was designed.  I can go for a g e s contouring, shading, and providing chiaroscuro to his sketches. 
I can tell the difference between inspiration and boredom. When bored, he aimlessly and even listlessly drags me around a sheet of paper. Sometimes, previously used. Can you imagine?! He says a sheet is never wholly used. He philosophizes on creating art. I don’t need to hear it, I feel it when he takes me, thumb, index, and middle finger, and away we go.  Personally, I hate it when he doesn’t use a new sheet of paper. Why doesn't he use a pen, marker, or crayon when he doodles? Why me? We've made such beautiful things together.  Why waste me on doodles? You w@anna make a house, buddy? How about some spirals? Hey, you seem extra prosaic today; how about a few penises and pound symbols? Pfft. You should see the beautiful works of art that have come out of our collaboration. They are breathtaking. Not that I know anything about breathing. I’ve just been around to see people's reactions to what we do. I don’t even care they never ask about me. I see how they basque with awe in the immenseness of what we created. Continue reading