100 Ways to Boost Your Self-Confidence: Believe In Yourself and Others Will Too

1.10 Instant Confidence-Builders

It’s not that Pm so smart, it)s just that

I stay with problems longer.

-Albert Einstein

When things get out of control and you momentarily lose your confidence, there are any number of little things you can do to regain it. Here are 10 tools to help get you started.

1. Wash your hands and face, and brush your teeth. It cools your body, which is relaxing, and gives you that fresh start feeling.

2. Look at any diploma or certificate of achievement you have. And if it isn’t framed and on the wall, do it now. These are reminders of your accomplishments, and taking in your success is important to maintaining your confidence.

3. Remember your last (or greatest) success and think about it for 60 seconds. Taking in your success as often as possible will help you reach another and another. Quite simply, it reminds you that, because you have done it before, you can do it again.

4. Give yourself a good shave (face or legs). It’s another instant refresher, and, in addition, when we know we are looking our best, we are naturally more confident.

5. Know you are the person your kids or other loved ones think you are. Knowing that you are unconditionally loved can’t help but make you feel good about yourself.

6. Wash your car, inside and out. Hey, when our wheels are shiny, we feel better. If you don’t think this applies to you, just remember how you felt the last time you got a ride in someone’s very flunky car. Race you to the car wash.

7. Put on clean socks and shoes you haven’t worn in a few days. Shoes take a day or two to release any moisture they have absorbed, and this is a very easy way to put a little pep back into your step.

8. Organize your closet and get rid of anything that no longer fits. Old clothes may come back into style, but you really don’t want them on hangers for the next 20 years. Throwing out the old makes room for the new. For some, the feeling they get from putting on a new power suit fills them with self-esteem.

9. Cook a lovely meal. Even if you are by yourself, preparing a tasty dinner, setting the table, and treating yourself to a wonderful culinary experience will lift your spirits. Sharing it with someone you love and/or respect will make it even more nurturing.

10. Look around you, remember that you started with nothing, and know that everything you see, you created. We can all lose our feelings of self worth, especially when something goes wrong in our world. The real truth is that, if you have done it before, you can do it again. No matter what.

None of these tasks has to be uncomfortable, and won’t take you much time. Finding ways to give yourself a little boost when you’re not feeling at the top of your game is a trick that truly confident people use on a regular basis.

2. Negativity Kills Confidence

I was always looking outside myself for strength sand

confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time.

-Anna Freud

Negative environments where people are harsh or even abusive to one another are toxic. No one tries to lift you or anyone else out of the pain, and no one can find emotional or even physical comfort-that will lower your self-worth and perhaps even your will to live.

This isn’t about having the occasional bad day or moment. It’s about living and/or working in an environment that brings or puts you down. When someone is constantly telling you that you’re not good enough, eventually, if you stay around a while, you will start to believe it.

Only two creatures on the planet, if you continually tell them they are bad, will take it in and believe it: dogs and humans. We have all seen dogs whose spirits have been broken. They walk around with their tails between their legs and their heads down. They get startled or scared very easily, and can react with fear aggression (barking or growling when they are frightened). The poor things never seem to feel safe and secure. They have lost their wag, and it’s sad to see.

People tend to react in similar ways when they are living with someone who puts them down on a regular basis or they are working for a company that manages by intimidation. There is very little joy to be found here, and one’s sense of self-confidence can be easily shattered. Most people in such places are unable to find the strength they need to battle the forces that are attacking them because they have simply run out of energy

The trick here is to step back far enough to get some perspective, and, if the circumstances I just described truly exist, and counseling hasn’t worked or is refused, the best move may be to just leave. I know that’s drastic, but staying in a negative environment or relationship because you are afraid to leave is also known as battered person’s syndrome, such as when abused women continue to go back to the home of their abusers. They do it because the devil they know is better than the one they don’t (as they mistakenly think) . They are returning to what is familiar.

Confidence cannot exist within an aura of meanness. To find yourself and rebuild what has been taken from you, leaving a bad environment may be the answer. This requires a type of inner strength that some find in desperate moments-the strength that helps you believe in yourself and to know that you do not deserve to be treated badly, no matter what another person says. You have finally had enough, and you reach down to the depths of your soul and pull up whatever shreds of self-respect you can find. The feeling may only last for a few hours, but use that time to pack or write your resignation, because you will never be able to flourish where negativity and horrific behavior are allowed to run rampant.

Once most people get out of a negative environment or relationship, one of the first things they do is castigate themselves by saying, Why did it take me so long? But that thought is totally self-defeating. It took as long as it took; do not waste any more time feeling beat up. At this point you may actually be used to it and not even see that you are doing it to yourself. As soon as you are aware you’ve changed the behavior, all you have to do next is whatever is in front of you. Leave the past, and the old behaviors, behind. Accept that you had the strength to change your life. It’s okay to feel good about yourself.

3. Push Through the Upset

When you aregoing thorough hell-keep going.

-Winston Churchill

You had a great plan for the day ahead. You even went to bed early so you could wake up with a little more energy to put to your project du jour, but something happened. Somewhere in the night, upset struck your unconscious, or perhaps you got an early-morning phone call or nudge, and a problem you had not anticipated occurred. So much for your best-laid plans.

When the unexpected happens, we usually get a little anxious; sometimes we totally freak out. Again, this is pretty human stuff, but the problem is that whenever most people get derailed, their confidence is shaken, and they can change direction (or just get lost) and have difficulty getting back on track.

Here’s an alternate way to keep your focus and move forward in the process: Instead of putting your project aside to deal with the problem that’s trying to get your attention, take the time to do what you were going to do in the first place. By not allowing yourself to be thrown off course, you are keeping control. If you can sit down and complete your goal, despite your current (and most likely momentary) circumstances, you will build your self-confidence and won’t lose any ground.

Being able to focus, even though you are stressed, and get the job done gives you the knowledge that, no matter what happens, you can avoid internal musings and excuses. Doing what needs to be done, regardless of temporary setbacks, will make you proud of yourself. It also produces a secondary positive outcome, which is a greater ability to focus on the problem that caused the upset, because you won’t be thinking of what you haven’t gotten done.

You will also gain more clarity, and maybe even some additional ideas of how to deal with your dilemma while finishing the work you had planned to do. Any time you can use your unconscious to help you create some problem-solving skills, do it. We have all experienced getting better ideas once our minds are actually off a problem we are trying to solve.

In addition, you may be able to channel your nervous energy into something much better. Just being frenetic and ignoring what you had planned to do doesn’t help you or anyone else. But if those around you see that, even though the world is going to hell in a handbasket, you can still get the job done, then everyone involved feels more confident about you.

Sometimes putting out fires can be a way of avoiding what you really need to be doing. So make sure the emergency is real and you truly are needed before you put your priorities on the shelf. The truth is that you do have the ability to get your homework done aid save the world.

4. A Secret to Happiness

Without a humble but reasonable confidence in yours

own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

-Norman Vincent Peale

I asked Marci Shimoff, author of the New York Times best-seller Happy for No Reason and featured teacher in The Secret, what she believed about how confidence and happiness are related, and how, together, they can help us create a life worth living fully

Marci says:

I define true happiness as an inner state of peace and well-being regardless of circumstances. That’s why I call it happy for no reason. When we experience that kind of inner happiness, we also have high self esteem-we believe in ourselves and know that we are worthy regardless of our circumstances. That is true confidence.

Developing the inner state of well-being will create confidence in all areas of your life. If you don’t develop inner well-being, you may feel confident in one specific area of your life (perhaps you’re confident in your intelligence), but uncomfortable in many other areas. That is conditional confidence, and it will never bring you fulfillment.

Marci sees the process of developing greater confidence like building a muscle-it takes regular training, making a habit of doing the things that help you feel inner peace and well-being.

Marci also believes that it’s important to listen to and learn from your inner guidance. She says, Trust your intuition, as your inner wisdom will guide you to your greatest success and happiness in life. Believe in your wisdom and follow it.

For many of us, trusting ourselves may be difficult because we have been habituated to look outside of ourselves for our answers. So it’s best to start out with small decisions for which you are listening to your own guidance. Then every success that comes from your own guidance reinforces your belief in yourself.

Marci goes on to say, Any day of the week I will put my faith in someone who has unconditional confidence. They are open and willing to learn whatever they need because they have a fundamental belief in themself [sic].

Marci’s work has inspired millions of people to look within and not only find happiness, but along with it a stronger sense of self and a greater enjoyment of life. And with that, you can live happily and confidently every after.

5 Be Patient With Yourself

If you have confidence you have patience.

Confidence, that is everything.

-Ilie Nastase

If you don’t reach your goals the first time you try, don’t see it as a failure. Remember that you have learned something and will do better next time. The way to develop self-confidence is to know that, no matter what happens, you will grow from the experience.

It is easy to become impatient and frustrated, but just imagine what life would be like if Thomas Edison gave up trying to invent the electric light after failing thousands of times. He had lots of ideas and the patience to carry them out. When asked about the attempts that didn’t work, Edison allegedly said something like, I didn’t fail 10,000 times; I just found 10,000 ways that didn’t work.

Yes, as well as being patient, he was persistent, and the two do go together: One could say that you need to have the patience to be persistent, or vice versa. The real truth is that patience comes from a place of believing that you have the answers or trusting your ability enough that you know you will find them. That is the essence of self-confidence.

Self-confidence doesn’t come from sitting on your hands and waiting for something to happen. It is about throwing everything you have against the wall and waiting (patiently) for something to stick. Then you have to take your time to refine your projects. For many, that is the hardest part of the process. Great innovators can be very impatient when it comes to the implementation of their ideas.

Remember that when you are being impatient with yourself, there is no one who can defend you. Our self-imposed deadlines really need to be changed to preferred time lines. If you miss a deadline, it unconsciously creates anxiety because a part of your brain actually feels as though you will die if the job doesn’t get done. That also happens when a person doesn’t give you what you think you want, when you think you need it. Your mind is really telling you that you may lose something very important to you and that can cause some panic. When you are stressed in that way, getting anything done is more problematic.

Practicing patience, by forcing yourself to take your time, can also be done by realizing how you react with people you are close to. If you are impatient with them it is likely that you will be the same way with yourself, and that shows a lack of self-confidence. Learn how to be more patient with yourself when life gets in the way or requires more time than you budgeted, by working harder on going with the flow. If you feel yourself starting to get antsy, take a patience pill by simply reminding yourself that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and whatever you are involved in is worth the time you are investing.

Patience may be a virtue, but it is also a necessity in achieving and living a self-confident life.

6. Be Prepared

The