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    The Hilarious Truth about Parenting, Children and Relationships Humorous Stories, Laugh Out Loud Life Lessons and How My Parents Accidentally Got it Right
    The Hilarious Truth about Parenting, Children and Relationships Humorous Stories, Laugh Out Loud Life Lessons and How My Parents Accidentally Got it Right
    The Hilarious Truth about Parenting, Children and Relationships Humorous Stories, Laugh Out Loud Life Lessons and How My Parents Accidentally Got it Right
    Ebook103 pages1 hour

    The Hilarious Truth about Parenting, Children and Relationships Humorous Stories, Laugh Out Loud Life Lessons and How My Parents Accidentally Got it Right

    By Avery Finch

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Parenting: The Only Job Where You're Both the Boss and the Employee… and Nobody's Following the Rules


    Welcome to the hilariously chaotic world of family life, where every day feels like a sitcom, and you're the star of a never-ending comedy of errors. From power struggles over the thermostat to the mysteries of missing socks, this book dives into the laugh-out-loud truths that every parent, child, and partner knows all too well—but rarely says out loud.


    Through a collection of side-splitting stories and eye-rolling life lessons, you'll uncover:

    •Why cleaning your plate as a kid was basically a hostage negotiation.

    •The universal laws of family road trips (and how they're destined to fail).

    •How parents turn into sports megaphones on the sidelines.

    •The real reason you'll never win the thermostat wars.

    •And why "We'll see" is the biggest lie ever told.


    With a sharp wit and plenty of heart, this book isn't just about parenting—it's about the little moments that make family life both maddening and magical. Perfect for anyone who's ever fought over the remote, survived a disastrous Christmas tree incident, or declared war over the last hot shower, this is your chance to laugh, reflect, and say, "At least we're not the only ones!"


    For parents, kids, and anyone caught in the beautiful chaos of relationships, this book is your reminder that while family life might not come with a manual, it does come with plenty of laughs.


    Grab your copy and dive into the comedy show you didn't know you were living!


     

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherRyan T. Scott
    Release dateDec 6, 2024
    ISBN9798230857730
    The Hilarious Truth about Parenting, Children and Relationships Humorous Stories, Laugh Out Loud Life Lessons and How My Parents Accidentally Got it Right

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      Book preview

      The Hilarious Truth about Parenting, Children and Relationships Humorous Stories, Laugh Out Loud Life Lessons and How My Parents Accidentally Got it Right - Avery Finch

      Introduction: Parenting—A Comedy of Errors, and You’re the Star

      So, you’re reading this book. Either you're a parent yourself, or you've somehow gotten your hands on it because you, too, are on a quest to understand how parents—especially the ones in your life—became the way they are. Let me assure you of one thing right off the bat: If you think your parents are a bit out there, buckle up, because you’re about to become the out-there parent. I’m not just talking about the occasional eye-roll moment when you catch yourself saying something like Because I said so (which, if we’re being honest, is a phrase you swore you'd never use, yet here you are, repeating it like some sort of parental mantra). No, I’m talking about the full-on transformation that occurs when you’re just trying to raise a child and you start hearing the same words, the same phrases, the same exact complaints coming out of your mouth that your parents used on you.

      It’s terrifying.

      There’s no coming of age moment where you suddenly realize it’s happening. Oh no. This is a slow burn, like the inevitable smell of burnt toast that’s coming from the kitchen because your kid swore they could make their own breakfast but somehow ended up with something resembling charcoal. Then you hear yourself saying: Don’t you know how to use a toaster? I was doing this when I was your age! And, just like that, you’ve become your parents. Your future self starts laughing maniacally in the background, and you start wondering if anyone’s ever done a study on the link between excessive parental wisdom and involuntary eye twitches.

      I think my moment of realization came when I was sitting at the dinner table, arguing with my daughter about finishing her vegetables. And suddenly, it hit me. This is it. I’m saying things my mother used to say to me. I was doing the exact thing that, for decades, I swore I would never do. Eat your broccoli! There are starving children in Africa! And as soon as I said it, I froze. I didn’t even know who I was anymore. But I wasn’t stopping—I had a job to do, and that job was to make sure she wasn’t going to grow up to be one of those people who can’t even eat a salad without complaining about the croutons.

      But that’s not where it ended. Oh no, it got worse. My daughter, bless her soul, looked at me dead in the eyes and said: But Mom, how does eating my broccoli help the starving children in Africa? And there it was. The moment. The moment that I could’ve gone off the rails, screaming in terror, realizing that all the good parenting I was trying to impart was just the same nonsense my own parents had thrown at me. Instead, I calmly replied (I mean, it was really more of a growl): Because life’s not fair, kid. Now eat the damn broccoli before I take away your screen time.

      I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Parenting is a full-contact sport. It’s like a never-ending, high-stakes wrestling match where you’re the referee, the participant, and occasionally, the poor guy who accidentally gets thrown into the ring after someone yells We need more snacks! And there’s a rulebook, but it’s like a magic 8-ball that you shake every time you think you have things figured out. Spoiler alert: The 8-ball is broken, and it keeps saying things like Ask again later or Outlook not so good.

      But seriously—what’s the deal with parenting? How did we all survive this? And how is it that our parents, who somehow managed to raise a generation of children who can microwave their own lunch (probably burning it in the process), end up making us believe they’re the ones with all the wisdom? Was it some sort of trick? A Jedi mind trick? A weird parenting bootcamp where they secretly learned to just say no in a way that made us accept it as gospel? We’ll never know. But what I do know is this: We’re all just following in the footsteps of our parents, whether we like it or not.

      I know what you're thinking. You're reading this and saying, No, no, no. Not me! I'm different. I won’t become my parents. I’ll be the cool parent. The one who knows exactly how to handle every situation with grace, patience, and an occasional snack bribe. The one who can keep it together when things go haywire. The one who won’t freak out when they spill juice on the new rug! Sure, you will. I believe in you. But let’s talk in a few years when your kid has just eaten an entire pizza and you catch yourself saying, Because I said so! while pointing at them with the same intensity your father used when he told you to mow the lawn in the summer heat.

      Here’s the thing: Parenting is an art. Not a well-known art, not a prestigious one, but still, it’s an art. And you’re the masterpiece. The only difference is you don’t know if you’re the Mona Lisa or one of those weird modern sculptures that just looks like a toilet made of rusty pipes. The hardest part is that you’ll never know if you’re getting it right—but your kids will sure as hell let you know if they think you're messing it up. You’ll spend years thinking you’ve got everything under control, only to realize one day that your kid has somehow learned to be just like you—minus the good sense. And that’s when it hits you: Oh no. I’ve become my parents.

      But the real punchline? You’re probably doing a pretty damn good job, even if you feel like a walking disaster. Because, as it turns out, the secret to being a great parent isn’t perfection. It’s the fact that you’re still in the game. And just like you inherited all your quirks, habits, and weird tendencies from your parents, you’re passing them on to your kids. The question is: Are you embracing it, or are you still pretending you’re a superhero who’s going to somehow save the day without ever spilling a drink or yelling at your kid to turn down the volume on their music? Spoiler: You’ll never be that superhero. But that’s okay. They’ll love you anyway. Or at least, they’ll love you eventually—right after they grow up and realize that everything you did was because you were just trying to make them better (or, you know, not make the same mistakes you did with your own parents).

      So, here we are. The start of a long, hilarious, and occasionally heart-wrenching journey through the wild ride of parenting. You’re about to read about my experiences—about how my parents

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