Smashing the Patriarchy: Why Women Must Rise Up Against Gender-Based Violence: Smashing the Patriarchy, #8

Smashing the Patriarchy

Why Women Must Rise Up Against Gender-Based Violence

A Women’s Testament

Volume Eight

Lethabo Maleka

© Lethabo Maleka 2024

Vaginaless Beings’ Revolution: A Woman’s Testament

Volume Eight

Published by Lethabo Maleka

Johannesburg, South Africa

[email protected]

Series eISBN: 978-1-7764375-0-4

Volume eISBN: 978-1-7764375-8-0

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the written permission of the copyright owner.

Layout and cover design by Boutique Books

DEDICATION

I dedicate this series to both my mother and my mother-in-law. They enriched my mind and catapulted me to be the woman I am today.

Their humble lives – full of hardships but rich with wisdom, tenacity, courage and resilience – moulded me.

Their dedication and love for Jesus Christ inspired me in the best possible way, for I saw the light.

I also dedicate this series to the women of this land and encourage them to never stop fighting. Patriarchy must be defrocked by us women.

Contents

DEDICATION

Introduction

CHAPTER SIX – CONTINUED

Conclusion

EPILOGUE

Smashing the Patriarchy

Why Women Must Rise Up Against Gender-Based Violence

A Women’s Testament

Introduction

Volume seven overlaps into Volume Eight. Hence, flowing from volume seven’s discussion, Volume Eight continues on the same trajectory; that is, giving an account of how powerful and famous men enjoy tarnishing women’s integrity. It justifies the saying that patriarchy’s tentacles, namely toxic masculinity, is a terrible shorthand for a real problem plaguing men and explains why powerful men often get caught with their pants down. I am talking about men who hold high ranking portfolios, be they politicians, executives, professionals, bishops, pastors, priests, teachers, celebrities of all kinds, doctors... the list goes on and on.

They all display the same arrogance, and sense for entitlement to women’s bodies and they think they are above the law. To them women’s bodies are the platform where they exercise and display their powers. I am saying they are nothing, just cowards, for their preoccupation with women’s bodies and sex show a sign of weakness. In their expression of their manhood, they forget that there are consequences to every action one takes.

It is only when they are caught and exposed that they lose their bravado. They forget that treating women as sex objects to quench their sexual appetite is only temporary, as their mighty penises will one day deflate, and their wealth and power will not come to their rescue. It is an illusion they carry around with pride, erected on a shaky foundation.

Masculinity is one of most dangerous tentacles of patriarchy, in which through socialisation men are socially constructed as brave and powerful while women are considered weak and fragile. These powerful and famous men epitomise this in their preoccupation with women’s bodies and sex, because society, through patriarchy, encourages them to renege on self-control because of their insatiable sex drive, or so they say, although there is no such a thing as far as I am concerned.

The other important aspect of GBV discussed is domestic violence and abuse. It is also important to explain why abused women rarely come forward to report incidents of abuse and sexual harassment by these so-called powerful men. Many victims do not speak up in fear of losing their jobs, in cases where their boss is a man. Power disparities become an issue in male-dominated fields as women often occupy lower positions; hence, it would be difficult for them to speak up for fear of being dismissed from work.

Many sexual assaults go unreported amongst single mothers, who are commonly known to be facing financial issues and often find it difficult to leave their jobs. Those in power have an ability to make these women fear them for the purpose of controlling them. It is common for these men to accuse women of provoking them, citing the way they dress, for example, as a reason for the unabated abuse.

I often hear excuses, such as the victim was wearing provocative clothes, to discourage women victims from speaking up. In most cases women tend to blame themselves for having worn that type of clothing. In a hypocritical patriarchal society like ours, it is more familiar to blame the victim, something that gives men a reason to come up with those lame excuses, such as he raped the victim because he thought she was asking for it. It is society’s resistance to blaming the perpetrator that leads to victims not speaking up.

Based on the above argument, I also emphasised that women should wake up and stop being used by the so-called powerful and famous men under the illusion that they love them. Meanwhile, in most instances they are abused for sexual gratification. It is high time that we women should teach men, however powerful they may be, that their preoccupation with women’s bodies and sex should come to an end because they have been misled by patriarchy to believe that their masculinity is erected on solid ground. The reality is, however, that it is erected on sinking sand because they too are human beings, and nothing is guaranteed.

The incidents of abuse mentioned in this section of the book are classic examples of why powerful men have a propensity to abuse women with impunity, compounded by the fact that we women protect them, instead of reining on them.

It is argued that it is critical to discuss domestic violence because it also forms part of the total sum of GBV. Domestic violence, like all forms of violence against women, is also directly linked to patriarchy and its main drivers, namely socialisation, culture and tradition. The discussion on domestic violence and abuse in general is followed by the subject of how powerful and famous women are also violated and abused. One might have the impression that, due to their social status, they have escaped from the subservient nature of women under patriarchy. Again, one would believe that these women who are able to assume higher social positions would have escaped patriarchal constructs. But that is not the case. Patriarchy is everywhere and anywhere, as Scott (1985) captures: There is no woman who could abstract herself from patriarchal group consciousness that produced their identity.

Scott captures the essence of this when she notes: Suppressing the knowledge produced by any oppressed group makes it easier for the oppressing group to rule because the seeming absence of dissent suggests that subordinate groups willingly collaborate in their own victimisation. What Scott means is that patriarchy knows no class nor race, in that it uses the same modus operandi globally.

Powerful and famous women, by keeping a distance from the women who are trying to challenge their oppression, and at times trying to conceal their own abuse, reproduce their own victimisation and their subordinate position in society. The elite women, that is the powerful and famous, refer to the upper and middle-class women who made it in life, be academic, political, and economic. Thus, I further retort that it is important that in this fight we do not only concentrate on physical abuse but also on other kinds of abuse, namely emotional spiritual and financial abuses.

By highlighting the fact that famous and powerful women are also oppressed by patriarchy, and also experience GBV, I hope to defuse the myth that it only happens to certain classes of people and not women in position of power. In doing so, I also seek to help not only women but all people to understand the dynamics of patriarchy and how it is manifested.

In all hypocritical patriarchal societies, all women, irrespective of their status, are perceived inferior to men. Although powerful women are also exposed to gender-based violence, the difference is that these women, and middle-class women in general, are in denial that they too are violated. Hence, I am saying that it is critical for women to know that GBV has come to stain not only the hands of the perpetrators but women bystanders as well. The more that women remain complicit is the more they give patriarchy, men, the ammunition to destroy them.

Kati Dijane is therefore correct to say: This social system is deeply rooted, so much so that it is given cultural glory, and thus to challenge patriarchy is to dispute the idea that it is men who should be dominant figures in the family and society. It is to be seen not as fighting against male privilege, but as attempting to destroy tradition.

I encourage powerful and famous women to snap out of their comfort zone and be with women fighters. I repeat that GBV is a determining factor. All women, regardless of race, gender and class, must use this unfortunate situation to uproot patriarchy. It is now or never. Women must unite.

Unity is the main weapon of our struggle for emancipation; its driving force. We must always remember that sexism, like racism, is a reactionary attitude. Women must wake up to the fact that our acts of self-defeating lunacy is a roadmap of patriarchal privilege men are still enjoying at our expenses. It is about time that, we women stop campaigning for change and become that change – and that change can only come if we use our numbers to our advantage everywhere. The starting point is with voting during elections. Remember, the idea is to wrestle power and control from men; then patriarchy would become history. That sounds drastic but for me it is as easy as that. What women must be mindful of is that the GBV horror is visited on all women, not just some. Let us fight patriarchy and all that comes with it, as a united force.

Closely related to the above debate, especially the attitude of powerful and famous men towards women, are practices such as polygamy, lobola, male initiation and female genital modification, the blesser, sugar daddy or slay queen phenomenon, human trafficking and sex work or prostitution.

Volume 8 is the last in the set, and thus ends with a conclusion and epilogue.

CHAPTER SIX – CONTINUED

RAPE, ABUSE AND POWERFUL MEN (Continued)

MEC quits over sex claim – Christina Gallagher, 28 January 2006

Gauteng social development MEC Bob Mabaso has resigned amid allegations of sexual harassment. He said on Friday that he had informed the premier and speaker of the Gauteng legislature that he was stepping down as a member of the Executive Council and as a member of the Provincial Legislature. Mabaso has denied the allegations. I want to reiterate that I have not committed any act of sexual harassment against anybody, he said.

Mabaso said he had resigned due to the seriousness the government attached to gender struggles, fighting women abuse, and the creation of a new society. These were all values he upheld. He said the move was in the best interest of the government and his family.

Provincial ANC spokesperson Ignatius Jacobs did not want to give details on the allegation, but said it was made by a person in the Gauteng legislature. He said Premier Mbhazima Shilowa and the ANC had accepted Mabaso’s resignation on Thursday.

When asked whether Mabaso was given the option of remaining in his position or being suspended while an internal investigation was conducted, Annette Griessel, head of communications for the provincial government, said she was not aware of any of these options being posed to Mabaso. He resigned voluntarily, she said.

Mabaso is well known for taking on the plight of street children, as well as implementing a 25% cut in provincial social development spending, which severely affected a number of non-profit welfare organisations. In the past two years, his duties have been overshadowed by the problems his department faces. His resignation has been welcomed by many social services organisations as a step in the right direction.

As MEC for social development, Mabaso inherited problems from the previous administration, explained DA social development spokesperson Rika Kruger. The previous administration never budgeted for development and dipped into social security, she said. There was not enough money, and he wasn’t able to handle it.

Mabaso’s concern for street children included controversial mass collections of street children, who were taken to centres. Beth Thomas, director of Gauteng Alliance for Street Children, said Mabaso’s efforts were not all that they seemed. He would do anything for his own glory, said Thomas. He took children off the streets, but never delivered on his promises.

Moira Simpson, director of Kids Haven in Benoni, said: Mabaso brought street-children to the attention of the welfare department. The whole department focused on taking them off the street. But Simpson added that, although the attention was positively received, some in the sector felt Mabaso’s ideas for taking children off the street were extreme because he appeared to believe in a mass action strategy. He regarded everyone on the street as street children. This included bringing in adults who were forty-year-old gangsters, she said. That is a huge risk for girls who are with us, some of whom are just twelve. We hope that whoever comes in will listen better and hear that mass action is failing and puts people at risk. Simpson said that, apart from this issue, she had a good relationship with the department.

Jackie Loffell, interim co-ordinator for the Gauteng Welfare Social Service and Development Forum, said that when Mabaso was appointed in April 2004, the department was already in a crisis. When the announcement was made about the 25% budget cut, he said the matter was beyond his control. He put the NGOs under threat.

Joan Muller, a provincial representative of the South African Communist Party, said Mabaso would retain his position as the provincial leader of the party. Health MEC Gwen Ramokgopa has been appointed acting MEC for social development.

Mabaso to forgive Mosunkutu; if she’s sorry – Baldwin Ndaba, 20 October 2006

Former Gauteng MEC for social development Bob Mabaso has been cleared of allegations of sexual harassment against him – and now he wants an apology from his accuser. Pastor Nonqaba Mosunkutu, the wife of Gauteng MEC for Agriculture, Land and Nature Conservation Khabisi Mosunkutu, went to Premier Mbhazima Shilowa on 9 January 2006 and claimed that Mabaso had attempted to rape her. After hearing of the allegations, Mabaso agreed to resign from his post on 26 January. He was told by two senior officials in Shilowa’s office not to have any contact with the complainant and her husband.

Mabaso had always maintained his innocence, although Mosunkutu – who had worked in Mabaso’s office – went on to lay criminal charges. After Mabaso’s resignation, Mosunkutu approached the police and said the offences were committed in November 2005. No criminal charges were laid, and instead police referred the docket to the office of the Director of Public Prosecutions for a decision. The state declined to prosecute Mabaso. Advocate Charin de Beer, Johannesburg’s director of public prosecutions, said she had found nothing to warrant criminal proceedings against Mabaso. She considered the matter finalised.

On Thursday, Mabaso and his wife Lizzy spoke of their ordeal for the first time since the allegations surfaced. Mabaso said the state’s findings had vindicated him. It was a very difficult period for my family and friends. Our children went through a humiliating and painful period at school and at work. These allegations have dented my standing in the community, Mabaso said.

The visibly aggrieved Lizzy Mabaso told the media that the allegations had come as a surprise to her. She said Mosunkutu told the police that Mabaso had harassed her between 7 and 8 November, but that Mosunkutu was among her husband’s regular visitors while he was hospitalised for an undisclosed ailment at the Brenthurst Clinic between 14 and 22 November.

Mabaso confirmed Lizzy’s version and said that on one of the visits Pastor Mosunkutu came carrying a fruit basket from Mr and Mrs Mosunkutu. Mabaso said he was unaware of what had prompted Pastor Mosunkutu to lay criminal charges. He brushed aside insinuations from the media about a possible extra-marital affair between him and Mosunkutu.

I initially thought the allegations were a joke, Mabaso said, before asking the media to contact Pastor Mosunkutu about her motives for laying charges against him. He said the two families had been friends for more than two decades. Asked if he was ready to forgive Mosunkutu, Mabaso said: I will only forgive her if she apologises to me and my family. I would accept her apology. I do not hold grudges against her. Mabaso did not want to say whether he intended applying to be reinstated to his position.

The sexual harassment claims against Mabaso would still be investigated internally by the ANC, the party said on Thursday. Now that the case has been finalised by the National Prosecuting Authority, I am ready to take part in the ANC internal disciplinary process to finalise the matter. I’ve also lodged a complaint within the ANC (against the harassment complainant), which I requested to be investigated and decided upon, Mabaso said.

Numerous attempts to contact Mosunkutu were unsuccessful.

Never back down: The woman who brought down a disgraced politician (2006) – Siyabonga Kamnqa, 7 January 2020

Nomawele Njongo has written about her ordeal while working in parliament. Nomawele Njongo is one of those women who is not afraid to grab the bull by the horns. As a twenty-one-year-old in 2006, she landed a job as an ANC parliamentary administrative assistant after university, and felt fortunate to work in the House and mingle with the country’s top politicians. But her joy was short-lived after her boss, the then ANC chief whip Mbulelo Goniwe, allegedly invited her to his home at the Acacia Park parliamentary village in Cape Town one evening, under the pretext of delivering food to his guests. When she arrived, there were no guests. Goniwe was alone and, she alleges, he invited her to his bedroom for a sexual encounter. But the brave young woman, who was pregnant at the time, flatly refused Goniwe’s advances and stormed out of the house. She later reported the matter to Goniwe’s colleagues. Goniwe was dismissed by the ANC after being found guilty of abusing his office by trying to score sexual favours.

Njongo recently published a book, titled Abortion by the Womb of Democracy: Surviving Political Sexual Masculinity in SA, in which she chronicles her sexual harassment ordeal. The book also examines gender-based violence and highlights what men in power put women through in the workplace. Today, the soft-spoken Njongo is famously known as the woman who brought down the disgraced top politician after the sexual harassment scandal broke in 2006.

Tracking down the Eastern Cape-born Njongo was a daunting task. She admits to having been very busy promoting her book, which was launched late last year. Speaking to City Press this week, Njongo said that penning her memoir had been a remarkable journey that had generated mixed emotions in her. I had to go back and open old wounds, said Njongo. I reflected on my life journey. I giggled and wept, too. But it has been an amazing journey, and I am happy with the good reception it has received. The book has been flying off the shelves since the launch.

She believes that much work needs to be done to ensure women do not fall prey to sexual assault at the hands of powerful men in South Africa’s workplaces. There are still many women who suffer sexual harassment in silence at these workplaces. They become silent because either they are scared of losing their jobs or they fear that no one will believe them, she said.

She recounted to City Press how furious Goniwe became when she refused to indulge him. I think it totally took him by surprise that I was standing my ground and refusing to sleep with him. Perhaps he had had his way with other women before and had not come across a woman who confidently said no to him. Goniwe allegedly told her: "Bendikuthembile ndicinga ukuba uyintombi yomXhosa. Ungade wale ukulala ne-chief whip yakho ingathi ucelwa ngumntu o-ordinary? [I thought you were a real Xhosa girl. How can you say no to your chief whip as if I am an ordinary man?] Describing the period as the most traumatic chapter of my life, Njongo said the incident turned her life upside down". She suddenly had many enemies in the political arena and often drew stares when she walked the corridors of parliament. To add to her woes, she and her family received a number of death threats.

It was the scariest period of my life. I did not know who I could trust any more because even certain people from my hometown of Lusikisiki turned against me. There were murmurs that I was being used by former president Jacob Zuma to destroy Goniwe’s political career. This was a rumour that I found ludicrous because there was no such thing going on.

But, added Njongo, what hurt her most was seeing some women mobilise against her. It was painful. The very people who I thought would be in my corner and would defend me started calling me names. And I even had to endure being excluded from deployment and not getting promoted.

She says she is unemployable – as if the incident has left her blacklisted. But there is one woman whose support she is grateful for: former ANC MP Vytjie Mentor. Njongo described Mentor as her rock: She is not only a mother to her own children, but also to young women like me. I will forever be grateful to her for all the support she gave me.

Njongo said it hurt her to see women continuing to suffer sexual assault at the hands of prominent men in society. The worst part is that these abusers live among us all the time, and these are people who hold powerful positions in political, business and even religious spaces. Some even chant ‘Stop gender-based violence’ slogans with us, but our plight is just a mere song to them, she said, adding that men needed to stand up and protect women. Njongo said that, by writing the book, she hoped that her story would inspire women from all walks of life to stand up for themselves.

The man Njongo is referring to is Mbulelelo Goniwe. He reportedly asked a twenty-one-year-old administrative assistant, who had been requested to help prepare meals at Goniwe’s birthday party, to stay after the event to provide sexual favours at Goniwe’s home. When she refused, Goniwe reportedly said that he thought she was a real Xhosa girl and asked her how she could resist the advances of her chief whip. Media coverage of these incidents put issues of culture and gender at the centre of attention.

ANC sacks its chief whip Mbulelo Goniwe after finding him guilty of sexual harassment – 14 December 2006

Mbulelo Goniwe had been active in the liberation struggle and, with the inception of the new democracy, held several positions, the most recent of which was the post of African National Congress (ANC) chief whip. In 2006, it was revealed that Goniwe had made sexual advances toward a twenty-one-year-old administrative assistant in the ANC’s parliamentary office. The incident occurred on the evening of a birthday party that was held in his home. Goniwe and the assistant, Nomawele Njongo, apparently disappeared into a bedroom for forty-five minutes.

Njongo claimed that Goniwe made overtures of a sexual nature and that he had tried to get her to sleep with him. The allegations were made public towards the end 2006. Goniwe was defiant, claiming that the allegations were baseless and malicious. The ANC’s National Disciplinary Committee (NDC) responded to the allegations by bringing three charges against Goniwe: abusing his office to obtain sexual favours, bringing the ANC into disrepute and provoking divisions in the unity of the party. Goniwe was found guilty on the first two charges and was fired as the chief whip of the ANC on 14 December 2006. He also lost his parliamentary seat and his membership of the ANC was suspended for three years. Goniwe’s sacking was considered by many as a landmark for women’s rights in South Africa. Goniwe on the other hand, felt that he was not given the opportunity to tell his side of the story.

Gospel singer Sechaba Pali found guilty of rape – Daily Sun, January 2012

Pali appeared in court in March for allegedly raping a fifteen-year-old girl, a charge he has vehemently denied. He claims that the girl told him that she was seventeen and also told the court that they were actually in a consensual relationship. She fell pregnant with his child in January 2012. He pleaded not guilty and was released on R6 000 bail.

The thirty-two-year-old singer was, however, convicted of the charge in the Ladybrand Magistrate’s Court, but with a suspended sentence following a passionate appeal by his lawyer, Eugene Willard.

When called to the stand, the victim’s sister confirmed that Pali was supporting the child and said that her sister asked that he be spared a jail sentence.

He has shown remorse and went on television to come clean before his court appearance. Please don’t be harsh. He has learnt his lesson, Willard said.

This is not the gospel star’s only child. He has nine other children from previous relationships, and Magistrate Joseph Koekemoer ordered him to take responsibility for them all. Laying down the conditions of the suspended sentence, Koekemoer said: You need to forgive yourself. You have a responsibility to raise your children. It seems that you are willing to take responsibility but your name will be on the register of child rapists. You will not be allowed to work where there are children.

Speaking to the publication, Pali expressed remorse and vowed to change his ways, saying: I’m not happy about what I have done but I ask for forgiveness. I would like to thank those who supported me through the case. I promise to be a better man. I’m also planning a campaign against the abuse of women. Pali was found guilty of statutory rape and given a five-year suspended sentence.

Sipho Brickz Ndlovu found guilty of rape – 2013

Kwaito star Sipho Ndlovu, also known as "Brickz, has been found guilty of rape in the Roodepoort Magistrates Court. Judgment was handed down on Friday afternoon following a three-year-long court case. He will remain in custody until sentencing later in July. Ndlovu raped a sixteen-year-old girl in 2013 at his home in Ruimsig, west of Johannesburg. It’s understood that his wife Nqobile Ndlovu assisted the victim in opening the charges against her husband. National Prosecuting Authority spokesperson Luvuyo Mfaku said, Mr Ndlovu was convicted of rape. After the conviction, the R50 000 bail that he was released on was revoked; hence he is in custody." Ndlovu was arrested and charged on 1 November 2014 and had been out on R50 000 bail since.

Brickz sentenced to fifteen years in jail for raping a teenage relative – TshisaLIVE, 17 October 2017

Kwaito star Sipho Ndlovu, popularly known as Brickz, has been sentenced to fifteen years in prison after being found guilty of raping a seventeen-year-old relative in 2013. In his ruling, Magistrate Baloyi detailed testimony from the victim that she was bleeding after the incident as her hymen was broken, as she was a virgin at the time, and was in severe pain. Baloyi said the victim had been told by Brickz to take a bath after the rape and that he had threatened to kill her if she told anyone. He also said the victim was unaware that she had been infected with a sexually transmitted disease.

The victim said she wanted to end her life as a result of the trauma and became fearful of the musician. The defence argued for a lenient sentence, but Baloyi said Brickz has not shown remorse for his crime and the court has a duty to protect the freedom of women.

Wearing grey pants, a white shirt and a blue jersey, Brickz was all smiles as he walked into court to hear his fate. He has maintained his innocence throughout the trial and has repeatedly said the truth will come out.

Brickz’ legal team immediately said it would be appealing the conviction as well as the sentence.

Pastor stalks, threatens woman after she refuses to fall in love with him – Citypress, 7 July 2014

Mapula Masoba has been stalked since 2014 by a man she met at church. For six years, Mapula Masoba has been living in fear. Her crime: refusing to fall in love with a pastor in her church who claimed that God showed him that the forty-two-year-old was his future wife. Masoba said her sin was that she had refused to fall into the trap of loving Mbuyiselo Jacobs.

Jacobs has been threatening and stalking her since 2014, but she has no desire to be in a relationship with him. Masoba has done everything to stop him from harassing her, from reporting the matter to the police and obtaining a restraining order to changing her cellphone number. But he has been relentless. Now Masoba, who is a bookkeeper and office manager, has decided to go public about her ordeal as she does not want to be another statistic of femicide.

Even after I presented all the evidence to the police, he is still a free man. He even violated the protection order. He got arrested for contravening the court order, but he was later released, said an emotional Masoba last week.

How it all started: In 2014, a man started stalking me. It was not long after he was released from jail. He then came to the church where I used to go to fellowship in Mamelodi [township in Pretoria], and he claimed that he had repented. He went to our church’s Bible school and he was ordained as a pastor. This is where he got access to my contact details, she said, adding that this was with her permission, because she did not know of his sinister motives. She said Jacobs started off with good intentions, sending her daily scriptures. [That was] until he gathered the confidence and told me that God said I am his wife. I told him from the onset that I don’t love him. He got very angry and flooded me with messages telling me that God will punish me because I am disobedient. He sent messages any time he wanted. Then this matter came to my pastor’s attention and he got reprimanded many times and backslid at church, she said. I would block his cellphone number and he would go and get another SIM card. To date, I have blocked ten numbers under his name.

Just when she thought she was free of him, he would start stalking her again. The latest incident was in April. Masoba said he called her more than forty-five times using a private number.

Mapula Masoba: One of the voice messages he left on her phone said: I thought you have changed, but it is clear that you have not changed. She went to the police station to open a case, but instead she was advised that she should go to court to apply for a protection order. The next day, I went to Pretoria and applied for a protection order, but I was told to come back the next day. I was then given a notice to appear in court on May 21.

The police also asked her to find Jacobs’ physical address in order for them to assist her. She said that, accompanied by a friend, she went to Mamelodi to look for where Jacobs lived. Strangely, he does not even stay far from the police station. Finally, I found his physical address and I called the police. Within five minutes they were parked next to my car. However, on the same day I started receiving calls from him and he left a message saying, ‘You take me to the police, do you think you can finish what you have started?’ In thirty minutes, he called me more than twenty times. I decided to pick up some of the calls and put him on speaker so that my friend could be a witness.

He told Masoba that he had nothing to lose. Jacobs told me, ‘I will come after you. I wonder who gave you my home address. You want to destroy me. I am gatvol and I will make sure that I am arrested for something real.’

A few days later, she received a call from a retired police officer who was shocked that I had been told to find the address of the perpetrator. Masoba said: Why do [people at] the justice department still tell women to come and get protection orders when they know it’s such a tedious exercise, which doesn’t guarantee their safety?

According to Masoba, after returning from court Jacobs again started stalking and threatening her. He violated the protection order. I had to wait for Monday to go back to court to get a warrant of arrest. I went back to court on 1 June. As I was in court, he called the whole day. I was granted the warrant of arrest in the afternoon. I don’t owe him anything and I never promised him anything. I knew that day that I needed to change my cellphone number. During level 5 of lockdown I went to the police station and court more than I went to the grocery store. Unfortunately, our justice system wants to see someone dead in order to attend to their case.

Masoba, who comes from an abusive marriage, said she cannot allow Jacobs to abuse her. I don’t owe him anything and I never promised him anything. She added that her case was moved from the Mamelodi Police Station to the Boschkop Police Station in Pretoria East without her knowledge. I was told that he did appear in court, but he was released the next day, because they cannot find the docket. Why did I go through this exhausting process, when they knew they were wasting my time and resources?

We were in love: When contacted for comment, Jacobs initially pretended that it was not him City Press was talking to. But later he confirmed that it was him and asked: Where did you get my contacts? Are you a sh*t cop? Jacobs said he was scared for his life as the police were chasing after him. Yes, I know Mapula and I love her. I dated her from 2014 to 2017. But we had to break up because the church interfered in our relationship. They told me I could not be dating a divorcée, as a pastor, Jacobs said.

However, Masoba denied ever dating Jacobs. He is a pathological liar and now he is playing the victim, she said.

Captain Mavela Masondo, the police spokesperson, said they were aware of the case. He confirmed that Jacobs was arrested on 4 June, but was released the following day. He was arrested for contravention of a protection order. It is unfortunate that the National Prosecuting Authority did not put this matter on the [court] roll, hence he was released. However, we will investigate and deal with this case accordingly, Masondo said.

Leleti Khumalo talks about her disgusting marriage to Mbongeni Ngema – Bongiwe Sithole, 3 September 2014

The legendary actress, Leleti Khumalo, has finally spoken about her marriage to famous playwright Mbongeni Ngema. Since rising to fame through the popular movie Sarafina more than twenty years ago, a lot has changed for Khumalo. In a candid interview with entertainment journalist Nicky Greenwall on her eTV show titled The close up, Khumalo spoke about her marriage to Ngema, describing it as a disgusting life, far from perfection and happiness. I would portray that I am happy, living happily and yet I’m living a disgusting and strange life, she said. The media wasn’t after me because I was a very private person; they could not see that I was living a false life.

The pair met while filming the movie, Sarafina. Back then, Ngema was a married man but it did not stop him from having an affair with Khumalo.

I kind of had a problem with that. I even asked him, and he said he still wants to make me his wife. I continued still because I wanted to. Ngema was fifteen years older than her. On the day of the wedding day the wife tried to stop the ceremony, Khumalo said. Although she furtively tells the story about her marriage in bits and pieces, she makes it clear that it was not a union that people were happy about; including her family. My family was furious. They were asking me why I am doing this because he is married, she said.

Khumalo went on to reveal details about the unhappy life she was living behind closed doors. I wasn’t living a normal life. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere I wanted to, she said. I wanted to do different plays, but it wasn’t possible. I don’t know if I could say he was jealous of me, I don’t know.

After fourteen years of misery, she decided to end their marriage, which is when her life started to move in a positive direction. I woke up one morning, I don’t know what sparked it, I released a statement that we were divorcing, she said. The hope for love and marriage never died. Along her with her new, happy life she met businessman Skhutazo Winston Khanyile, with whom she has twins. The actress seems to have found the happiness she has been long searching for in her new man. You know, when I met him I told him I was looking for someone who was going to love me, she said.

Benedict Vilakazi The former Orlando Pirates and Bafana Bafana midfielder was accused of raping a fifteen-year-old girl in her parents’ bathroom in 2005. She testified during the case in the Johannesburg Magistrate’s Court that, after raping her, he just walked out of the door. Vilakazi admitted he had sex with her but said it was consensual and that he had been led to believe the girl was seventeen.

Mbuso Mandela, Former President Nelson Mandela’s grandson, was accused of raping a fifteen-year-old at Mamma’s Shebeen Restaurant and Bar in Greenside in August 2015. He said the sex between them was consensual and that the alleged victim was not fifteen but sixteen. At the time of the case, prosecutor Nadine Nel told the court that new information needed to be probed by investigators, and that the complainant needed time to consult a psychiatrist to ensure she could handle the strain of a traumatic rape trial. The rape charge against Mbuso was later provisionally withdrawn.

Here are the biggest politicians’ sex scandals that often left most of us stunned, or just scratching our heads.

Malusi Gigava made headlines last week after a sex recording of him, which he claimed had been used in blackmail and extortion attempts against him, was leaked. He said that the recording must have been stolen in a phone hack from 2016 or 2017, and the contents were meant to be private. The video features the minister in a solo sex act, asking the recipient of the recording to imagine fellating him. He later apologised for the incident.

My wife and I have learned, with regret and sadness, that a video containing material of a sexual nature, meant for our eyes only, which was stolen when my communication got illegally intercepted/my phone got hacked, in 2016/17, is circulating among certain political figures. This video has been at the centre of a number of blackmail and extortion attempts, dating back to the period immediately following my appointment as minister of finance, on 31 March 2017, all of which I have steadfastly refused to entertain, he said.

This was, however, not Gigaba’s first sex scandal. In one of the most public scandals in the political sphere, both Gigaba’s women, Noma Gigaba and Buhle Mkhize, publicly fought on social media, calling each other names we would rather not mention. Following the scandal in 2015, Gigaba’s then girlfriend Mkhize, wrote an open letter detailing the affair she allegedly had with the home affairs minister, who seemed to have been struggling to handle his affairs at home. According to the letter, their affair started in July 2014 after their meeting on Instagram and they realised they shared the same sense of humour.

By the end of July, Gigaba allegedly started sending Mkhize private message that were innocent at first but graduated to flirting. The exchange of private messages on Instagram quickly escalated to calls and text messages. Gigaba then arranged for Mkhize to visit him in Cape Town, where they spent four days together. He again gave her cash gifts, one of which was R288 000, revealed an open letter published in Just Curious. The two women started attacking each other, but eventually apologised to one another. Now it seems the affairs at Gigaba’s home are back to normal (whatever that is) as the two have been posting pictures of each other on Instagram and taking vacations together.

Gigaba found himself in a dilemma after Mkhize took to Twitter to respond to his wife.

Norma Gigaba’s interview with eNCA. In the interview, Norma opened up about an affair her husband had with New York-based stylist Mkhize about two years ago, saying it had been a difficult time for her family. Though she was hurt by the affair, Norma said she worried more about her parents. I was feeling so bad for my mother and his mother. When they were going to church, people were reading Drum magazine, they were reading papers, and now we have to explain.

Norma received criticism for the interview, but it seems she invited Mkhize right back into her life, exactly where she had not wanted her to begin with. Mkhize, who is now married, opened a Twitter account responding to Norma’s interview. She said she was not going to sit by and watch Norma lie to the public. In fact, Mrs Gigaba should have refused to speak about the affair, as everyone had moved on from it, said Mkhize.

Could you have not declined answering that question @normzmngoma? I get interview requests on it all the time, but I decline, she wrote. Tweeting the minister directly, the woman calling herself Mkhize further warned Gigaba to keep his wife on a leash or she would reveal more details about their affair. Stop her from ever bringing this up again or they’ll hear about 18 December, you know me and documenting, I don’t slip @mgigaba. Let’s not forget the private jet Joburg to Durban @mgigaba. Shocker !!!. You’ve never met the Guptas angithi?

Mkhize said Norma should have just kept quiet and lived her life quietly, but now secrets that have long been kept would come out, she threatened.

Joining the growing list of politicians who have been caught with their pants down, entertaining a woman other than their wives, is none other than Cyril Ramaphosa. It emerged earlier this month that Sunday Independent editor Steven Motale was in possession of numerous emails from Ramaphosa’s private email accounts, possibly linking him to as many as eight different women. Questions Motale posed to Ramaphosa asked him about alleged extramarital affairs with eight different women, one of them allegedly a doctor who was also treating him medically. Ramaphosa’s current wife, Tshepo Motsepe, is also a medical doctor.

Ramaphosa filed an urgent application to stop Motale from publishing a story based on questions that were leaked on social media, though it was unsuccessful. He then admitted that he had had an affair with a medical doctor eight years ago. He said he’d told his wife about the affair and they were still happily married despite his indiscretion.

Kenny Kunene’s website, Weekly Expose, then went on to publish blurred sexual videos of a young woman with whom Ramaphosa was allegedly still in an affair. He has since been ordered by the South Gauteng High Court to take them down from his website, following the said woman’s application to the court.

Following the publication of the stories, Kunene was shot at while driving a car in Johannesburg. That may have been a coincidence, but Kunene refused to believe that. Several bullets were allegedly fired at the car, many of which left visible damage on the blue BMW and bullets in the bodywork. Kunene was travelling with a female passenger. No one was injured.

Though some thought it was just a hijacking gone wrong, there was speculation it may have been related to media stories about Ramaphosa. Kunene added fuel to the speculation after saying that linking the shooting with the stories was the only reasonable thing to do. Motale has since said he would continue publishing the stories.

Ramaphosa said that the social media smear campaign against him represented an escalation of a dirty war against those working to restore the values, principles and integrity of the ANC and society, and it was likely state agencies and resources were being abused to promote factional political agendas.

In his statement, acting spokesperson Tyrone Seale appeared to verify that the emails were Ramaphosa’s personal email correspondence and they were not lawfully obtained. There is no doubt that these messages have been circulated as part of a deliberate campaign to smear the person of the deputy president. They are a transparent attempt to distort personal email correspondence that could only have been obtained through criminal means, said Seale.

R. Kelly: Sexual abuse is generational curse – Bangshowbiz.com, 22 January 2016

R. Kelly has opened up about being sexually abused aged seven or eight, insisting it was a ‘’generational curse’’ that runs down through the family, much like ‘’poverty’’. The forty-nine-year-old singer – who was found not guilty on all fourteen counts during his child pornography trial in 2008 – has opened up about being sexually abused when he was seven or eight years old until he was around fourteen or fifteen, and confirmed it was a female relative who molested him. While he admits to feeling ‘’ashamed’’ when he was first abused, the star insists that after a couple of years he was even ‘’looking forward to it sometimes’’. He said: ‘’I, well, definitely forgive them. As I’m older, I look at it and I know that it had to be not just about me and them, but them and somebody older than them when they were younger, and whatever happened to them when they were younger. I looked at it as if there was a sort of like, I don’t know, a generational curse, so to speak, going down through the family. Not just starting with her doing that to me.’’

But when asked why the so-called ‘’generational curse’’ didn’t pass through the family onto him, Kelly says he opted to break it, but claims he was ‘’misunderstood’’ because people took some of his song lyrics far too literally. He explained to GQ magazine: ‘’Well, you know, just like poverty – poverty was a generational curse in my family, too, but I decided that I’m gonna stop that curse. I’m not gonna be broke, like my mom was broke, my uncles were broke, my sisters didn’t have money, my cousins on down. Generational curse doesn’t mean that the curse can’t be broken. Just like having no father, that’s a generational curse. The poverty part was broken. And I feel the child-molestation part, that definitely was broken. But of course, you gonna be misunderstood because you R. Kelly, and the success and things get mixed up in the music, and people take the words you sing in your songs and try to pound that on your head and say, ‘Ahh! You did do it – look what you just wrote over here.’ ‘’

Kelly insists the abuse taught him to be ‘’hornier’’ and ‘’sexual’’ earlier than he was ‘’supposed to’’ be, and while he knows the relative who abused him was in the wrong, he still counts them as a ‘’family member that [he] loves’’. When asked if he wished the relative in question had been held accountable for her actions, he replied: ‘’Back then, too young to judge. As I’m older, I’ve only learned to forgive it. Was it wrong? Absolutely. But it’s a family member that I love so I would definitely say no to that one. To be honest, even if my mom, I saw her kill somebody, I’m not gonna say, ‘Well, yeah, she definitely should go to jail.’ It’s just something I wouldn’t do.’’

Mute lyrics projecting women as objects of sexual pleasure for men – Mbuyiselo Botha, 17 July 2019

RnB singer R. Kelly, right, has had run-ins with the law in recent years for sexual offences. He’s also known for lyrics undermining women’s dignity. In our quest to detoxify masculinity there is a host of men, steeped in traditional ideas of manhood, who must be brought into the conversation. Some of these men – both in deep rural areas and in the city – hold