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    Unlock Your Confidence: Find the Keys to Lasting Change through the Confidence Karma Method
    Unlock Your Confidence: Find the Keys to Lasting Change through the Confidence Karma Method
    Unlock Your Confidence: Find the Keys to Lasting Change through the Confidence Karma Method
    Ebook275 pages3 hours

    Unlock Your Confidence: Find the Keys to Lasting Change through the Confidence Karma Method

    By Dr. Gary Wood

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    About this ebook

    Discover how the Confidence-Karma method could help you be more confident and really get what you want from life.

    This inspirational guide offers a complete, step-by-step personal empowerment course using tried and tested techniques, quizzes and exercises to help you to understand where you are now in life, where you want to be, and how to get there with confidence!

    Perhaps the book’s most inspiring innovation is emphasizing the karmic principle of ‘what goes around comes around’ and how building confidence in others can have a powerful, positive knock-on effect in your life.

    Psychologist, teacher and life coach Dr. Gary Wood introduces The Confidence-Karma Method. This unique, whole-life approach, develops your existing skills and strengths in achievable and meaningful steps. It builds resilience by working on both mindfulness and changing your attitudes toward yourself from three different angles – feelings, actions and thoughts. It raises aspirations and helps you to reach your potential by addressing motivation, values and goal-setting. From a physical perspective it considers the impact on confidence and esteem of breathing, relaxation, health, exercise and body language.

    Embrace the power of Confidence-Karma, become more confident, and achieve what you want in your life.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherWatkins Publishing
    Release dateJul 11, 2013
    ISBN9781780286204
    Unlock Your Confidence: Find the Keys to Lasting Change through the Confidence Karma Method

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      Book preview

      Unlock Your Confidence - Dr. Gary Wood

      Chapter 1

      Here and Now: Getting an Angle on It

      The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new land-scapes but in having new eyes.

      Marcel Proust, 1871–1922, novelist, critic and essayist

      Preview

      To begin the whole confidence-building process this chapter provides self-evaluation quizzes in self-confidence and self-esteem. The results of these are used to get an idea of your starting point, a baseline by which you can assess the changes. It also looks at definitions of confidence and esteem and a model (the Confidence-Karma Chain) to show how all aspects of the process fit together. Also, by exploring your personal definition of confidence, it provides you with the raw material for your development goals.

      Here and Now

      A tourist stopped a local person to ask for directions to a famous landmark and the local answered, ‘Well I wouldn’t start from here!’

      In reality ‘here and now’ are the most important things we have. A main theme of Confidence Karma is: always to build on what you have rather than to obsess over what you don’t have. Situations and conditions could always be better. Many decisions in life are made with incomplete information. Think of your journey to greater confidence as being like a move to a new home. This chapter gives the home setting on your SatNav – where you are right now. Then the following chapters will help you reach your new destination of improved confidence. So throughout this chapter keeping asking yourself, ‘What would greater confidence actually mean to me? And, when I have it, what will I be doing then that I’m not doing now?’ This will form the basis of concrete goals to work towards.

      Big FAT Confidence Definition

      When we start to consider the meaning of the word ‘confidence’, recurring themes emerge including faith, assurance and trust – here is another FAT triangle. We talk about ‘taking someone into our confidence’, so confidence clearly also involves relationships with other people we may confide in and trust with our secrets. Confidence is also the state of being certain. When we speak of self-confidence we are speaking of our faith and certainty in our ability to operate in the world, to predict that a course of action is correct and most effective. It is also our ability to take that action and to effect the changes we desire so that we continue to grow and develop. And finally, confidence is also about being bold and showing courage.

      How Confident Are You?

      Let’s begin the process with a simple rating using a scale from 0 to 10 to rate your overall confidence level: 0 means ‘no confidence at all’ and equates to someone unconscious or in a coma; 1 equates to ‘just about enough confidence to function at a minimal level’; 5 means ‘average confidence’; 8 or 9 mean ‘very high confidence’ and 10 means ‘supreme confidence’. Use any point on the scale that best reflects your attitude.

      Get out your journal or notebook and consider the questions below which begin the on-going process of shining a light on your existing strengths and looking at how you might build on them to reach higher levels of confidence.

      •  How have you got this far along the scale? How did you do this?

      •  What is it that has helped you to get from 0 to where you are now?

      •  What can you imagine doing if you move one point up the scale?

      By answering these questions you can see that you’ve already acquired some skill in building confidence.

      Now let’s explore the issues relating to self-confidence in more detail by answering the following confidence quiz.

      Confidence Quiz

      The quiz comprises 20 questions. Indicate your level of agreement with each item, without ‘over-thinking’. There will be plenty of time to reflect later. The quiz is in two parts and the scoring reverses for the second part. For the first part, score each of the statements on a scale of 0–10, where 10 means you ‘totally agree’ and 0 means you ‘totally disagree’. You are free to use any point on the scale to indicate your attitude. However, I urge you to use the mid-point (5) sparingly, if at all. Scores 4 and 6 represent very slight disagreement and agreement respectively. Rarely are we neutral about things so ‘close to home’.

      1.  ___ I am comfortable accepting compliments or praise.

      2.  ___ I give myself the freedom to get things wrong and make mistakes.

      3.  ___ I find it easy to make clear-cut decisions.

      4.  ___ I find it easy to relax and am ‘comfortable in my own skin’.

      5.  ___ I set personal development goals.

      6.  ___ I take action on my goals.

      For the remaining items, reverse the scale, so that 0 now means ‘Totally agree’ and 10 means ‘totally disagree’. You are free to use any point on the scale to indicate your attitude, but again I urge you to use the mid-point (5) sparingly, if at all.

      7.  ___ I am frightened of achieving success and coping with it.

      8.  ___ I fear making a fool of myself.

      9.  ___ I feel a failure if I don’t do a perfect job.

      10.  ___ I often think I’m not good enough.

      11.  ___ I am far too tough on myself and my own worst critic.

      12.  ___ I’m prone to jump to conclusions and later regret it.

      13.  ___ I often compare myself unfavourably with other people.

      14.  ___ I tend to rehearse negative outcomes in my head, over and over again.

      15.  ___ I prefer to stay in my comfort zone and stick with what’s familiar.

      16.  ___ I tend to set myself up for a fall and find a way to mess up before I reach my goal.

      17.  ___ I speak to myself in a negative way or put myself down in front of others.

      18.  ___ I avoid taking responsibility so that people don’t expect too much of me.

      19.  ___ I tend to procrastinate.

      20.  ___ I put my achievements down to luck.

      Simply add up the scores for the 20 questions to get your total confidence score.

      Total: ___

      Scoring

      The scores and quiz statements are offered as discussion points to help you to pinpoint the important issues for you and to provide suggestions for what issues to address. This is not a diagnostic test to lumber you with a label, just a starting point to create some signposts.

      You also need to consider, what score would be ‘good enough’ for you? Does anyone have ‘perfect confidence’ in all situations, at all times and with all people? Most probably not.

      •  0–40        indicates low confidence

      •  41–80      indicates low to moderate confidence

      •  81–120    indicates moderate confidence

      •  121–160  indicates moderate to high confidence

      •  161–200  indicates high confidence

      Relax. Don’t worry if your score indicates low or moderate confidence. Remember, we are just at the start of your journey. It’s important to focus on what we have and build on it rather than what we have yet to achieve. Think of your existing higher scores on the questions as keyholes. This book is about providing you with the keys to make the most of what you have.

      Now let’s review the statements in the quiz and consider your higher scores for (positively worded) statements 1–6, and your lower scores for (negatively worded) statements 7–20. These statements represent your strong

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