The Cheerleaders
By Kara Thomas
4/5
()
About this ebook
"A crafty, dark, and disturbing story."--KATHLEEN GLASGOW, New York Times bestselling author of Girl In Pieces
"A little bit Riverdale and a little bit Veronica Mars."--RILEY SAGER, bestselling author of Final Girls
A Goodreads Best Young Adult Book of the Year Nominee
From the author of The Darkest Corners and Little Monsters comes an all-new edge-of-your-seat thriller set in upstate New York about an eerie sequence of seemingly unrelated events that leaves five cheerleaders dead.
There are no more cheerleaders in the town of Sunnybrook.
First there was the car accident--two girls dead after hitting a tree on a rainy night. Not long after, the murders happened. Those two girls were killed by the man next door. The police shot him, so no one will ever know his reasons. Monica's sister was the last cheerleader to die. After her suicide, Sunnybrook High disbanded the cheer squad. No one wanted to be reminded of the girls they'd lost.
That was five years ago. Now the faculty and students at Sunnybrook High want to remember the lost cheerleaders. But for Monica, it's not that easy. She just wants to forget.
Only, Monica's world is starting to unravel. There are the letters in her stepdad's desk, an unearthed, years-old cell phone, a strange new friend at school. . . . Whatever happened five years ago isn't over. Some people in town know more than they're saying. And somehow, Monica is at the center of it all.
There are no more cheerleaders in Sunnybrook, but that doesn't mean anyone else is safe.
More Praise for Kara Thomas:
"Gripping from start to finish . . . with twists that left me shocked."--VICTORIA AVEYARD, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Red Queen
"You'll be up all night tearing through the pages."--BUSTLE
"This deliciously deceptive thriller...is a must-have."--SLJ
Kara Thomas
Kara Thomas has written for everything from her high school newspaper to Warner Bros. Television. She is a true-crime addict who lives on Long Island with her husband and rescue cat. She is the author of The Darkest Corners, Little Monsters, and The Cheerleaders. To learn more about Kara and her books, visit her at kara-thomas.com or follow @karatwrites on Twitter and @karathomaswrites on Instagram.
Read more from Kara Thomas
The Champions Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLittle Monsters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5That Weekend Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Darkest Corners Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
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Reviews for The Cheerleaders
171 ratings16 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/54.5 stars
The Cheerleaders by Kara Thomas is a gripping and suspenseful young adult thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seat until the very end.
The story revolves around a small town haunted by the deaths of five cheerleaders. As the protagonist, Monica starts digging into the past, she uncovers dark secrets and uncanny connections that make her question everything she thought she knew.
Thomas's writing is engaging and atmospheric, creating a sense of unease and tension throughout the book. The characters are well-developed and realistic, each with their own secrets and motivations that add depth to the story.
The pacing is excellent, with twists and turns that will leave you guessing and craving for more. The author skillfully weaves together different timelines and perspectives, gradually revealing the truth behind the cheerleaders' deaths.
What sets The Cheerleaders apart is its exploration of complex themes such as grief, guilt, and the consequences of secrets. Thomas delves into the psychology of the characters, making their struggles and emotions feel authentic and relatable.
Overall, The Cheerleaders is a captivating thriller that combines mystery, suspense, and emotional depth. It is a must-read for fans of the genre who enjoy well-crafted plots and compelling characters. - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5After five cheerleaders die in mysterious circumstances, the cases are closed until five years later when Monica, one of the dead girls' sisters, decides to investigate. This is apparently based on something that happened in Dryden, NY in the 1990s.
I don't read that many thrillers but I really like the ones where I can't see what's going to happen or there's a big twist. Unfortunately, this was a story where I could foresee the ending (and I don't know anything about the events it's based on). It's an okay read, but nothing great with a lot of teenage angst. - Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5DNF. A book that suffers from tell-itis and I do not have the patience for badly done narratives. The writing is wooden and does not compel me to finish such a convoluted tale.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I would give this a 4.5 I really enjoyed this! It had me guessing "who dunnit" the entire time and I don't think any of my guesses were correct. Five years ago five cheerleaders all died within a month of each other. Two were murdered, two were killed in a car accident, and one committed suicide. Monica is the sister of the cheerleader that supposedly committed and she doesn't seem to think that the story is so cut and dry and she doesn't believe for a second that her sister would kill herself. She is hunting for the truth, but will she like what she finds?
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I totally enjoyed book. The story was a bit different than usual and there were quite a few surprises along the way. Of course there were parts that got a bit long-winded and tedious, but those are my own pet peeves more than anything else. Of course it was sad at times but still well worth reading.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5More like 3.5, I think. I wasn't quite satisfied with the wrap-up of Ginny's plotline. Also, whither queer shit??????
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A few times I found myself getting the sisters’ storylines and friends mixed up. It’s slightly unbelievable to me that a 15 year old would figure out who the murderer was and not the cops, personal involvement or not. But damn, I did NOT see that ending coming. I like to believe that Ginny tells her story to Monica one day, maybe after they’ve graduated college.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5(This review will be on my blog All the Ups and Downs soon.)
When I first read the synopsis for The Cheerleaders by Kara Thomas, I was intrigued. This book was high on my TBR list. When I got the chance to read it, I was ecstatic. However, I was left feeling a bit disappointed after finishing it.
The pacing for The Cheerleaders is a bit all over the place. Sometimes it would be really slow, sometimes it would be a decent pace, and other times, it would just be too fast! I will admit that the pacing got better during the second half of the book. Still, I did find myself becoming bored with the book mostly during the first half. However, most of the book held my attention long enough for me to keep on reading.
The world building was fairly believable although I did have a hard time believing the police would miss some of the more obvious things I won't go into due to spoilers. There's one thing that is described at the end that I wondered how that was never discovered. Maybe the police force in the town of Sunnybrook just aren't very efficient at their jobs. Anyway, the plot has been done before, but it was still fairly interesting to read about. After finding her dead sister's old cell phone and a note saying "connect the dots" on a photo of the 5 dead cheerleaders in her step-father's locked drawer, Monica starts doing some detective work. She doesn't believe her sister would have committed suicide. As she starts digging deeper, she finds out some things aren't what they seem. The plot had some twists. I do believe some of the plot twists were predictable while others were not. I did get the killer wrong though. I will admit that. One of things that felt out of place was the book starting off with Monica's abortion. I really don't see the point of it. It isn't really mentioned again after the first few chapters. Also, there's a paragraph of politics thrown in the book that I didn't know why it was in there. It was as if the author just wanted her audience to know what her political leanings were.
I felt like the characters for The Cheerleaders were all a bit two dimensional. The author tried to make them fleshed out a bit more, but they just felt a bit flat to me. I felt as if they were all a little conceited especially Monica, the main character, for my liking. There were so many times I rolled my eyes at Monica. I just did not and could not bring myself to like her no matter how hard I tried. I felt like she was a bit spoiled and selfish. I did like Ginny though. I just wish she was more fleshed out. I also would have liked to read more about Ethan. I find him to be an interesting character.
Trigger warnings for The Cheerleaders include swearing, murder, death, some violence, underage drinking, drugs (pill popping), abortion, kissing, talks of suicide, and implied sexual situations.
All in all, The Cheerleaders was just an okay read. Nothing really stood out, and I imagine I'll forget about this book soon which is a shame because it sounded really good going by the synopsis. The plot was somewhat interesting, and it did hold my attention for the most part, so it has that going for it. I'm on the fence about whether I'd recommend The Cheerleaders by Kara Thomas. Actually, I would recommend people to read it and come to their own conclusions. - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5This was an okay mystery even though it was predictable and unrealistic at times, and the ending was anticlimactic. However, I did like Monica although I was not impressed with her love interest - it was too creepy and unsettling. The author also dealt with some controversial topics including suicide, murder, substance abuse and statutory rape.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5In The Cheerleaders, the book alternates between past and present, telling the tale of why there are no more cheerleaders in Sunnybrook. Years ago, five cheerleaders died, in a car crash, murdered, and through suicide, and the school disbanded the cheerleading team permanently. In the present, one of the cheerleaders' sisters is determined to find out what truly happened, as she discovers mysterious notes, cell phones, and connections she never knew about.
I really enjoyed this book, just as I really enjoyed Thomas' The Darkest Corners (and have just put her Little Monsters on hold at the library). There is so much suspense, and so many red herrings and twists and turns. The ending left me absolutely shocked, which I love-I didn't guess any of the answers or twists.
This is a quick, gripping read that will keep you guessing, and I definitely recommend picking up a copy. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I needed something light as an escape from the utter destruction of America, and this definitely delivered. I do not often read YA, but I wanted the simplicity, the singular focus of YA. I wanted to wallow without distraction. Monica is an engaging character and the book manages to weave in many topics very relevant to teens -- abortion, suicide, drinking, difficulty communicating with family -- with grief and a good whodunit. Recommended.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I love going into a book blind, meaning I don’t read synopsis and base my interest on the cover and maybe word of mouth. All I knew going in is that this book was about murdered cheerleaders. I was ready. In the mood I was in, i was ready to Texas Chainsaw some cheerleaders by way of Scream.
That is not at all what I got, but I am not disappointed. For most of this book the cheerleaders are already dead. It’s five years later, and Monica has been asked to participate in a memorial for the toppled pyramid. Besides not wanting to do it, she also wonders what really went on. Were all five deaths connected? Or were they exactly what they appeared to be. She is determined to find out.
This book is more a mystery but I wouldn’t call it a thriller. Yes it has thrilling moments, but no long drawn out seat of your pants action. It’s a slow build like the original Halloween movie. It uses bumps and shadows to get your heart pumping and keep the reader turning the pages. And it does it well.
I actually want to complement the author for the first chapter or two. I had to ask myself multiple times if what I think was happening was really happening. So many parents would have been up in arms about that scene, and while it was done exceptionally well, I kept wondering why include it? Is this to make the reader think about how crazy life has become for Monica since her sister died, or how out of control she is, with no one noticing. Originally it seemed gratuitous, like, I’m gonna write throw this controversy in covered in description, and it will be okay because I never use the A word. And for me it’s FINE. I love how it’s done. Just, this is what is happening. And by the end I know that the scene is not gratuitous, but integral. I’m not going to tell you what this scene is because I don’t want anyone to say I’m not reading this because it contains …. Something. It contains reality.
While Monica is the main lead, we meet a shy dance teammate Ginny who is the sounding board none of Monica’s better friends can be during this emotional time. Plus, we do actually get to know Monica’s sister. Sporadically, there are chapters that take the reader back in time leading up to the deaths of the cheer team.
Overall I enjoyed this quick and fresh read. It pulls no punches, does not skirt around topics, and feels very now. It’s not a blood and gore horror book, but rather an Our Town, for a new generation that must live and grow up in our current society. - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Loved the sorry, didn’t care for the ending.
Five years ago, Monica Rayburn’s life changed irrevocably when her sister Jennifer committed suicide; only days after her friends Bethany and Colleen died in a car crash and Susan and Juliane were strangled to death. Even though Monica’s family has tried to move on, the 16-year old never stopped thinking about what made her sister do the unthinkable and whether foul play might have been involved. Together with her new friend Ginny, Monica starts her own investigation and tries to dig up any clues the police (including her stepfather Tom) might have overlooked. What did really happen five years ago and who could have had a reason to kill five young cheerleaders who still had their whole lives ahead of them?
I must say that I found this YA crime novel very entertaining and captivating which resulted in me finishing the book within a day. The story is fast-paced and the main characters Monica and Ginny are very likable. I have to admit that I did not really see the ending coming; though, not because it was so brilliantly shocking but because it was rather disappointing. Instead of a big showdown the reader is presented with a motive/motives and a killer/killers, that are neither very original nor incredibly surprising. Based on the rather nicely laid out narrative I expected something more sophisticated and with a bigger twist. 3/3.5 stars. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Five years ago, five cheerleaders died: two in a car accident, two in a random murder, and one by suicide. The city of Sunnybrook was devastated and the cheerleading team was disbanded permanently. In the present, Monica becomes obsessed with her sister's suicide nearing the anniversary. She finds her sister's cell phone in her stepdad's desk. By itself, it isn't too suspicious, but he was also the first officer on the car accident scene and the officer who killed the supposed murderer. Is there more to these deaths than just random coincidence? Can Monica find out who killed all these girls?
The Cheerleaders is a teen thriller of a teenage girl going through a lot all at once. Monica had an abortion right before the beginning of the book and she's still cramping and bleeding afterwards. She pushes through it to try out for the dance team and is in agony. No one seems to know but her mom whose only response is that she wants Monica to learn something from it. Abortion isn't said in so many words (even though I wish it were), but it's heavily implied. I wish Thomas would have just said it if she is going to tackle the subject matter. On top of this, it's coming up to the 5th anniversary of her sister's death. Monica decides to delve into the deaths because some things just don't add up.
Monica delves into her sister Jen's life and finds out things she never knew while gathering a list of suspects. Jen's life wasn't as perfect as it seemed and she was going through a bit of a crisis. Her friends are changing, sniping at each other, and finding other interests (some of them illegal). Chapters from Jen's perspective are placed intermittently through the novel, showing what happened from her perspective. Mirroring her sister, Monica makes a new friend scorned by the school and all but abandons her own friends. As she gets more and more entrenched in this investigation, Monica gets into more and more trouble, sneaking around, lying, and hurting those around her. She can see the damage she's doing, but is still compelled to go forward. I felt for her and understood her motivation even if I disagreed with her actions.
The Cheerleaders is the best of all the thrillers I've been reading lately. The only flaw was how everything is tied up in the end. The last scene shows something that was never revealed during the rest of the book. It was an interesting reveal that told more about a character, but it was hamfistedly tacked on to the end. It's fine to have some loose ends. Real life has cold cases and unsolved mysteries all the time. Or integrate it into the story more organically. Other than that, I enjoyed the mystery and the twists and turns of the story. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A accident, a murder, and a suicide are all connected by secrets in Kara Thomas' new book The Cheerleaders.
Written for the young adult reader, Ms. Thomas has also made the story interesting to the adult reader. The story was very easy to get into, her characters were well developed and the story line kept you guessing until the end. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5When I first heard about this book ‘The Cheerleaders’ from Liberty on Book Riot, my ears perked up at it being a new thriller from Kara Thomas (plus Liberty said it’s awesome). Then I saw the amazing bare-bones cover with the cheerleading skirt, and that absolutely convinced me. A thriller with cheerleaders? Bring it on!!
Cheerleaders have been an iconic feature in American culture since the sport of cheerleading became popular for teenage girls in high schools and colleges (rather than it previously being a male sport) in the 1950’s. There’s really no mistaking what a cheer uniform represents in terms of status when one is donned; the cheerleaders in high schools seem to occupy their own certain bewildering stratosphere in the hierarchy of school cliques, and it’s hard to describe the ‘cheerleading effect’ (although it’s done really well in the hilarious movie ‘Bring It On’). Cheerleaders have long made perfect fodder especially for movies (particularly of the horror variety), TV, and books, because of the stereotypes that befall girls who become them.
In this book,'The Cheerleaders' of Sunnybrook have either been killed, or they’ve had to become the not quite as high-flying dance squad, so there's not much cheerleading going on. After the deaths of five cheerleaders (two dead from hitting a tree in a car crash, two brutally murdered by the man who lived net door to them, and one by suicide, the squad is disbanded. Monica, whose sister Jen died by her own hand, is now on the dance team, and even though it's five years on, she doesn't have the answers she needs about her sister's death, especially after she comes across her sister's cell phone in her stepad's (the cop) desk. She also has a new friend at school who really pushes to find out what really happened, and to see if the deaths are connected.
Now there's a lot about this novel that I really loved: a seasoned writer like Kara Thomas means the reader gets to enjoy clear voice for our protagonist Monica, who is surrounded by friends and family, but still seems rather lonely, having lost her sister Jen some five years prior (and we have some chapters told from her perspective too), and she leads us through this thriller/mystery. Opening with what clearly is her having to deal with the aftermath of an abortion, thanks to an unplanned pregnancy, this is something pivotal to the plot, and something that may turn a few readers unnecessarily away (Thomas isn’t afraid of that though).
Quickly though, the reader is given the back story about how the cheerleaders died and why Monica becomes so adamant on finding the truth. But this is also where I find the major flaw: I really did want more ‘cheerleaders’, and more action than just at the end (the twist is still good, although a few times I’d got bogged down in too many details, and got lost in the information given). The book gave me an entirely sad feeling as a takeaway; after ‘solving the mystery’ I came away with such a profound sense of loss for these characters, which I didn’t expect. There’s some closure but it doesn’t balance how much I wanted a bit more of a bloody thriller, much like the blood splatter on the cheerleader skirt on the cover suggests, instead of a sad mystery.
This is a solid mystery from Kara Thomas, well-written and with an unexpected twist. Just very sad, and with a lot of amateur sleuthing (instead of cheerleading).
Book preview
The Cheerleaders - Kara Thomas
BOOKS BY KARA THOMAS
The Darkest Corners
Little Monsters
The Cheerleaders
Book Title, The Cheerleaders, Author, Kara Thomas, Imprint, Delacorte PressThis is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Text copyright © 2018 by Kara Thomas
Cover design and illustration by Alex Merto
Author photograph by James Shaw
Little Monsters excerpt text copyright © 2021 by Kara Thomas. Cover art used under license from Shutterstock.com and Stocksy.com.
The Darkest Corners excerpt copyright © 2016 by Kara Thomas
Little Monsters excerpt copyright © 2017 by Kara Thomas
All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Delacorte Press, an imprint of Random House Children’s Books, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.
Delacorte Press is a registered trademark and the colophon is a trademark of Penguin Random House LLC.
Visit us on the Web! GetUnderlined.com
Educators and librarians, for a variety of teaching tools, visit us at RHTeachersLibrarians.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Name: Thomas, Kara, author.
Title: The cheerleaders / Kara Thomas.
Description: First edition. | New York : Delacorte Press, [2018] | Summary: As a town prepares for the anniversary of the deaths of five cheerleaders who were killed in three separate, horrific accidents, two teens uncover long-buried truths about what really happened years ago
—Provided by publisher.
Identifiers: LCCN 2017038303 | ISBN 978-1-5247-1832-9 (hc) | ISBN 978-1-5247-1834-3 (el) | ISBN 978-0-525-64447-7 (intl. tr. pbk.)
Subjects: | CYAC: Death—Fiction. | Cheerleaders—Fiction. | High schools—Fiction. | Schools—Fiction. | Family life—Fiction. | Stepfathers—Fiction. | Mystery and detective stories.
Classification: LCC PZ7.1.T46 Che 2018 | DDC [Fic]—dc23 LC
Ebook ISBN 9781524718343
Random House Children’s Books supports the First Amendment and celebrates the right to read.
ep_prh_5.3.1_c0_r1
Contents
Cover
Books by Kara Thomas
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Excerpt from That Weekend
Excerpt from The Darkest Corners
Excerpt from Little Monsters
In loving memory of Kezban Mustafa
This house was made for someone without a soul. So I guess it makes sense that my mother wanted it so badly. I can imagine how her eyes lit up when she walked through the five-bedroom, three-and-a-half-bath new construction. I’ll bet she thinks this house is the answer to what’s wrong with us.
When Tom, my stepfather, showed me the bathroom attached to my room with its own Jacuzzi tub, he said, Bet you feel like Cinderella, because he’s an idiot.
I should be happy for my mother and Tom, because the old house took so long to sell that it nearly destroyed their marriage. I should be thrilled I don’t have to hear the words terrible real estate market and bad location ever again. Neither they nor the listing agent had the balls to come out and say that no one wanted to buy a home on the street of horrors.
The worst thing about the new house is that there’s no way to sneak into my room. The dining room is right off the front hall, so when I get home from dance team tryouts, I can see my mother at the table eating Chinese takeout with Tom and Petey, their oops baby.
Petey is ten now. Mom married Tom when I was five. When I was a kid, I overheard her telling my grandmother that she and Tom both were done with children. Mom had Jen and me, and Tom had a college-aged daughter with his ex-wife. Four months later, Mom was pregnant with Petey.
So, totally an oops baby.
Monica,
my mother calls. We’re eating dinner.
In other words, Don’t you try to disappear upstairs.
I plod into the dining room, the smell of the takeout souring my stomach. Everything hurts: standing, walking, sitting.
At the table, Petey is sucking up lo mein noodles. One slips from between his lips and falls on the screen of his iPad, because God forbid he perform a basic function such as eating without playing Clan Wars.
Petey,
Mom says, please put the game down.
But I have to harvest my crops.
Do you want the iPad to go in the garbage?
"You wouldn’t throw an iPad in the garbage."
Peter.
Petey’s eyes go wide, because Mom only uses his full name when she’s really about to lose her shit. I almost want to tell the poor kid it’s not his fault that Mom is acting like a psycho.
Monica.
Tom looks up from his phone, finally noticing me. He takes off his reading glasses and breathes on the lenses. Wipes them on his shirt. How were tryouts?
Fine.
The new Chinese place gave us extra fortune cookies!
Petey says, and I say, Cool,
which pretty much sums up the depth of my interactions with my half brother.
Mom’s eyes are on me. I keep my own eyes on a carton of white rice. I grab a plate and spoon some onto it.
What’s wrong?
Petey asks. It takes a second for it to sink in that he’s speaking to me. Tom is watching me now too. My mother makes a face as if she just swallowed down vomit.
Can I go lie down?
I ask.
Go ahead,
she says.
When I get to the hall, I hear Petey whine, How come she gets to do what she wants?
I practically have to crawl up the stairs to my room. The over-the-counter painkillers my mom picked up for me are seriously garbage. I would call Matt, my ex-boyfriend, because even though he denies it, he’s friends with people who can get the strong stuff. But Matt graduated and he’s not in Sunnybrook anymore and we haven’t spoken since July.
My heating pad is still packed in one of the storage tubs Mom and I bought from Bed Bath & Beyond before the move. I dig it out, biting my lip. The nurse at Dr. Bob’s office said it would be like bad period cramps. But it hurts so much I want to die.
I break into a sweat from plugging in the heating pad and flop onto my brand-new bed. King-sized, like my mom and Tom’s. She insisted—a queen would have looked too small for the room.
They say you’re not supposed to put the pad directly on your skin, but I do it anyway and curl up on my side. I’d gladly take my flesh melting off over the pain in my gut.
A knock at the door. I grunt and Mom pushes her way in, holding a bottle of naproxen and a glass of water. When was the last time you took painkillers?
Lunch,
I lie. I popped four before tryouts.
You can have two more, then.
Mom perches at the edge of my bed. She might as well be a mile away. It’s really obscene, how big the bed is.
I groan and pull my legs up tight to my body, into the fetal position.
I told you that you should have stayed home today.
My mother taps the naproxen bottle to her palm, shakes two pills out.
Coach would have cut me from the team.
I accept the pills. Swallow them greedily.
Mom is quiet. She drums her fingers—the nails rounded and coated with clear polish—on my comforter. Her anxious tic. Finally: Have you told Matt?
No.
I can’t tell what she’s thinking—whether she actually wants me to call Matt at college and tell him.
He could support you,
Mom says, after a beat. You don’t have to go through this alone.
It wasn’t his anyway.
I stare straight ahead so I don’t have to see the look on her face.
When she stands up, her profile comes into focus. She looks sad for a moment before she catches herself. I hope you learn something from this pain.
My mother shuts the light off on her way out—or at least, she tries to. She can’t find the switch at first, because it’s opposite where it used to be in my old room. Finally, she gives up, leaving me under the glow of the top-of-the-line energy-efficient LED bulbs.
She’s wrong, I think. Pain isn’t supposed to teach you anything. It only exists to hurt you. And she should know that better than anyone.
—
I’m camped on the porch, rain plinking on the overhang, staring at the house across the street when Rachel pulls up in her cherry-red Volkswagen Beetle the next morning. No one lives there. The contractors had to abandon construction inside the house because the people who bought it ran out of money. Since we moved in, the empty house has been the subject of my mother’s bitching. All the house is doing is existing, not bothering anyone. It’s exactly the type of thing that offends my mother.
Rach and I have been best friends since we were kids. She turned seventeen in July, which means she got her license over six months before I will. Rachel had to repeat kindergarten, and kids used to make fun of her, because what kind of moron can’t pass kindergarten? Then in the eighth grade she got her braces taken off, discovered a hair straightener, and grew B-cups, and everyone shut up.
Rachel lowers her sunglasses to look at me as I duck into the passenger seat.
Do you feel okay?
I’m fine,
I lie. I woke up too late to do my makeup.
I hope the list is up,
Rach says, putting the car into reverse to back out of my driveway. She actually sounds nervous.
Of course we’ll be on the list. Rachel, our friend Alexa, and I were the only freshmen to make the dance team two years ago. Rach’s mom drove us all to school that morning so we could look at the list together. Arms linked, knees knocking under our new jean skirts for our first week of high school.
Seeing our names on that list made us feel unstoppable. I was naïve and thought being one of the dance team girls meant I wouldn’t be known as the sister of one of the cheerleaders. But our particular tragedy isn’t the type people forget easily; being Jennifer Rayburn’s sister is like having an enormous scar I have to dress every morning to hide.
A shot of nerves twists my stomach. Or maybe it’s the naproxen. My sloppy performance at tryouts yesterday is reason enough for our coach to drop me, if she felt like it. Coach is not known for doling out second chances. Forget your dance shoes? Go home, and don’t bother coming to practice tomorrow.
I wonder if I’ll even care if my name isn’t on that list. I tilt my head against the window. Rachel rolls to a stop at the sign at the end of my street. She looks both ways, counts silently to herself, ever the perfect, cautious driver, always looking twice at my house to see if Tom is watching.
Tom is the sergeant of the local police department. Having him for a stepdad is a really easy way to figure out how many people you know have a deep-rooted fear of law enforcement.
Rachel pulls into Alexa’s driveway, and of course she isn’t ready; she never is. I’m about to text her, ask why she has to make us late every damn morning. But her front door swings open, and she flounces down the driveway, wearing her Sunnybrook Warriors hoodie with skinny jeans.
Alexa pours herself into the backseat and immediately whips out her compact. She starts applying her Merlot-red lip stain.
Seat belt!
Rachel yells.
I catch Alexa’s eyes in the side mirror. What do you even do all morning,
I ask crabbily, if you always have to do your lipstick in the car?
Alexa rakes a hand through her hair, shaking out her freshly ironed waves. Well, Monica’s obviously getting her period.
I almost make Rachel pull over so I can walk.
We get to school with a few minutes to spare before the first bell. The side doors by the gym are propped open and we step into the hall and right into chaos. There are buckets scattered on the floor, catching steady drips of water leaking from the ceiling. A custodian is on a ladder, attempting to tape a trash bag over the hole. I hear him mutter something about all the goddamn rain this year so far.
This place is so ghetto,
Alexa announces, and I want to hit her, because she has no idea what the word actually means. Besides, we’re one of the wealthiest school districts in the county.
A bunch of trophy cases outside the locker room have been moved into the center of the hall. We sidestep them, but not before I see her. My sister.
She smiles at me from the largest photo in the biggest trophy case. She’s posing for the camera with four of her friends. Their mouths are painted cherry; their cheer pleats are blue and yellow. The photo is from the first home game of the season, five years ago when there was still a cheerleading squad.
A wave of nausea ripples through me. Every day after gym, after dance team practice, I go out of my way to avoid this picture.
I knew all the girls in it, some of them better than others. Juliana Ruiz and Susan Berry were Jen’s best friends and fixtures in our house for as long as I could remember. When they made the cheerleading squad their freshman year, they became friends with two sophomores: Colleen Coughlin and Bethany Steiger.
They all smile at me: Jen, Juliana, Susan, Colleen, and Bethany. It really is a beautiful picture.
By the end of the season, everyone in it was dead.
A small crowd is gathered outside the main office, where Coach said she would post the list this morning. As we approach the bulletin board, a pack of freshman girls walk away, dejected.
Next to me, Rach sucks in her breath. We step up to the bulletin board. I scan the candy-colored papers tacked to it—a list of people who got callbacks for the fall play, a flyer advertising the girls’ soccer team car wash, information for a weekend SAT prep course.
There’s nothing here,
Alexa says.
Yeah, there is.
A familiar voice. I turn around; the Kelseys are behind us, iced lattes from Dunkin’ Donuts in hand. Kelsey Butler rattles the ice in hers. She points—her nails, painted apricot, popping against her dark skin.
I look where Kelsey is pointing—a sheet of paper tacked to the bulletin board. On it, a single line:
DANCE TEAM LIST WILL BE POSTED AT NOON
Kelsey Butler’s best friend, Kelsey Gabriel, sidles up next to her to get a better look. Kelsey G’s usually fair hair is sun-streaked even lighter, and her skin is freckled. Ew. Why?
More people tried out this year,
Kelsey B says. Maybe she needed more time to decide.
The Kelseys walk off together. They’ll be on the list; they’re seniors, and both of them were in classes with me at the Royal Hudson Dance Studio when we were younger. The Kelseys, with their inhumanly high leaps and whip-fast pirouettes, are the closest things Coach has to favorites.
My friends and I stay close together and head for the second floor—we’re Rayburn, Santiago, and Steiger, and homerooms are assigned in alphabetical order. As we file onto the stairs, I catch a glimpse of Rachel. She’s picking at the corner of her mouth, where her lipstick is flaking.
It’s fine,
I say, softly enough that only she can hear. You’ve got this.
She’s no doubt thinking about what Kelsey B said. Rachel is haunted by the triple pirouette she hasn’t mastered—the one Coach threatened to put in our competition routine this year.
Before I can find my seat in homeroom, my teacher says my name. You’re wanted at guidance.
My stomach plummets to my feet. Why?
Dunno. I’m not your secretary,
he drones.
I take the slip from his grasp, eyeing my guidance counselor’s almost-illegible scrawl.
I choose the longer route to the guidance office so I can pass a bathroom. I dig out the plastic baggie of naproxen my mother left on the counter next to my Tupperware of veggies and ranch this morning. She’s doling out the pills to me four at a time, as if they’re Oxys or something. I open the baggie and knock them back with a sip of water from my bottle.
Mr. Demarco is sitting with his back to me when I rap on the doorframe of his office. He swivels around in his chair, his face brightening when he sees me. He’s in an ice-blue polo that makes his matching eyes pop. Rachel and Alexa call him a silver fox.
There she is.
Mr. Demarco sets his Starbucks cup, marked PSL, on his desk. Sit, sit.
He drags a chair next to his desk. He moves a box of pamphlets off his seat; I catch a glimpse of a campus quad, bright with fall foliage. I sit down, pressing my chem textbook into my abdomen.
So.
Demarco smiles without showing any teeth. How are you?
Fine.
I grip the chem textbook. Press harder. Does he know? There’s no way he could have found out. Not unless my mother told him, and I made her swear, my nails digging half circles into her arm, that she wouldn’t even tell Tom.
Demarco takes a sip of his coffee. I’ll cut to the chase. Mrs. Coughlin is trying to put together a memorial ceremony, in the courtyard.
Mrs. Coughlin, the health teacher. Colleen Coughlin’s mother.
Mr. Demarco doesn’t give any further explanation; he doesn’t need to. Colleen Coughlin was in the passenger seat of Bethany Steiger’s car when she hydroplaned during a storm and drove into a tree. The car was so mangled that supposedly the coroner had trouble figuring out which girl was which. One of the paramedics at the scene vomited.
The first two cheerleaders to be killed that year.
A memorial.
I take off the ponytail holder on my wrist and wrap it around my fingers, cutting off the circulation in the tips. Like a religious thing?
No, not at all,
Demarco says. Just a small ceremony in the courtyard. Mrs. Coughlin asked if you’d like to be a part of it.
At my stricken expression, Demarco picks up his empty cup, taps the base of it against his desk. Obviously you don’t have to say yes. Mrs. Coughlin did pick out some poems she thinks would be nice for you to read.
He hands me a stack of paper held together by a butterfly clip. I don’t look at it. It’s just…,
I mumble. It would feel weird. I didn’t even know Colleen and Bethany.
Oh no, we’d honor all the girls at once. Everyone thought it would be best that way.
In other words, get the memorial out of the way before homecoming, because my sister’s two best friends died five years ago the night before their homecoming. It wouldn’t be very nice to remind the crowd about the horrific way Juliana Ruiz and Susan Berry were killed when everyone just wants to watch some football. Wow. Okay. Thanks. I actually think I have a quiz next period.
Of course. I’ll write you a pass.
While Demarco fishes around in his drawer for his stack of passes, I let my eyes wander. There’s a Sunnybrook Warriors pennant over his desk, right next to a New York Giants calendar. Right above a framed photo of the Sunnybrook football team from six years ago, posing with the state championship trophy. We haven’t won it since.
—
If you look at pictures of my family, you might wonder whether my sister was adopted. Mom, Petey, and I all have shocks of brown-black hair and blue eyes. Jennifer was blond, like our real father, and had his green eyes.
I remember a time when she liked me. There’s proof: photographs of us trick-or-treating dressed as sister Disney princesses and videos of us putting on plays on the back patio, starring ourselves and Mango, our Jack Russell/rat terrier mix.
But we were four years apart, and once Jen started middle school, it seemed like my very existence offended her.
That’s just how it is with sisters,
Mom would tell me when I was still small enough to climb onto her lap, face stiff with tears after a fight with Jen. Feel her fingers grazing over my ear as she played with my hair. Aunt Ellen and I didn’t become friends until we were in college.
Before homecoming her sophomore year, I gave Jen strep throat. It wound up saving her life. For a little while, at least.
Susan’s parents were in Vermont for her cousin’s wedding the night before the game, and Juliana and Jen were going to stay at her house with her. Susan refused to miss homecoming, even for the wedding, and besides, someone needed to be at home with Beethoven, the Berrys’ beloved Saint Bernard.
Mr. Ruiz was going to pick them up in the morning so they could grab breakfast at the diner before the homecoming game. It was a tradition Juliana had with her family—pancakes before she performed.
It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, a bunch of fifteen-year-old girls spending the night by themselves. Sunnybrook was one of the safest towns in the country, and on our street, everyone looked out for each other. But when Juliana’s father arrived to pick the girls up the next morning, both of them were dead.
They’d been strangled. Juliana’s hands were sliced open, and one still held a shard from the broken mirror that hung in the foyer. She had fought like hell.
Susan hadn’t seen it coming. She was on her back at the top of the stairs, staring at the ceiling. Across the hall, the shower was still on. She must have run out when she heard Juliana’s screams.
If my sister hadn’t been too sick to sleep over at Susan Berry’s house that night, Susan’s deranged neighbor would have murdered Jen too.
Lucky, everyone called her. Blessed.
In the end, though, it didn’t make a difference.
Some people say a curse fell over our town five years ago. What else could explain the tragic deaths of five girls, in three separate incidents, in less than two months?
Some people think Jen’s death was the most tragic of all.
Jen was in the top three in her class, beloved by everyone who was lucky enough to know her. She wanted to spend the summer before her junior year in South America, volunteering for Habitat for Humanity. She was planning on going to veterinary school, because as much as she loved helping people, her heart belonged to animals—especially the horses she used to ride as a child.
Jen wouldn’t have done it. That’s what they don’t understand. My sister, with her pages-long to-do list of everything she wanted to do in life, never would have killed herself. Maybe it makes sense to them that she would do it, once they put themselves in Jen’s shoes. Would living every day having to imagine what Jack Canning would have done to her if she’d been at that house be much of a life at all? Was life even worth living if all of her friends were dead?
I don’t know if we’re cursed. All I know is that my sister wouldn’t have killed herself. And if she did, why didn’t she leave a note explaining why?
I need to make another stop at the bathroom, so I head for the faculty ones by the main office, because everyone knows teachers aren’t disgusting pigs like the rest of us. You have to ask the secretary for a key, but Mrs. Barnes is married to one of the officers who works with Tom. She lets me in all the time.
There’s someone in the women’s room, so I lean against the wall opposite the front doors while I wait, watching the stragglers file into the building. When you show up late for school, you have to sign in with the security guard sitting at the desk by the door.
A brown-haired guy is bent over, scrawling something in the security guard’s notebook, laughing at something he’s saying. The guy isn’t a student; he’s too tall, too not-high-school-looking…
What the hell is he doing here?
A slick of sweat breaks out on my palms. I whip around to face the bathroom door, away from him, but it’s too late. A quick glance over my shoulder and I know he saw me.
I want to kick down the faculty bathroom door, yell for whoever is taking her time in there to let me in. Instead, I swivel and take off down the hall, in the opposite direction he’s heading, even though I’m moving away from the science wing and my chemistry teacher Mr. Franken’s room.
I speed-walk, biting the inside of my lip to distract from the stabbing in my abdomen. Straight down the hall, where there’s a pair of student bathrooms. Don’t stop—
Monica! Wait up.
It’s not Brandon’s voice. Of course it’s not Brandon calling out to me—why would he act like he knows me here?
I turn to face a guy wearing a Sunnybrook cross-country jersey. Jimmy Varney, one of Matt’s best friends. He smiles and nods at me. Hey. How was your summer?
Good,
I murmur, afraid I’ll puke in his face if I open my mouth any wider. Jimmy’s eyes refocus on something—someone—over my shoulder. He raises a hand. Coach! Yo!
Jimmy rests a hand on my arm. I’ll catch up with you later?
I nod, and Jimmy darts off. Brandon is trapped as Jimmy descends on him. I pick up my pace and don’t stop until I hit the bathroom, where I shut myself in the first stall.
Brandon is the new cross-country coach.
I don’t even make it to my knees before I vomit into the toilet.
—
None of this would have happened if it weren’t for that white dress.
I got the job at New Haven Country Club in June. When I told my mom I needed a ride for my first day of work, she blinked at me and said, "God, Monica, if you wanted money, you could have asked me."
But it wasn’t about making money, not really. I’d wanted something more than summer days spent in Rachel’s backyard, practicing straddles and aerials on her trampoline. I wanted a way out of evenings at the lake, Matt’s beer breath in my ear and hand on my thigh.
The members of the New Haven Country Club have the type of money that they can shell out eighty bucks for someone to watch their kids while they play golf and sit in the spa sauna all day. My title was Kiddie Camp Counselor, but all I had to do was accompany the kids to the pool and the tennis courts and make sure they didn’t die in the process.
On my first day, I saw Brandon hanging out at the lifeguard hut, swinging his lanyard around his wrist.
I knew where I’d seen him before: at Matt’s cross-country championships in New Jersey in the fall. Matt’s family had let me ride in the car with them so I could watch him compete. Laura, Matt’s older sister, noticed Brandon first.
Damn,
she muttered, nudging me until I spotted him at the bottom of the bleachers. I had to look away, afraid Matt might catch me staring at the other team’s hot coach.
By the end of my first day of work, I had a name for him: Brandon.
By the end of June, Matt and I had broken up. We both knew it was coming; he was leaving for college in Binghamton at the end of August. But the thought of not seeing him waiting at my locker on the first day of school sucked so much, I asked for extra shifts at the country club just so I wouldn’t sit around the house thinking about it.
Rachel and Alexa thought the perfect place to debut Single Monica was at Jimmy Varney’s Fourth of July party, since Matt wouldn’t be there; he and his family were at their lake house upstate for the weekend. Rachel had just turned seventeen and passed her road test, so she and Alexa planned to pick me up when my shift at the country club finished at six.
That morning, when I packed the white dress to change into after work, I thought of Brandon.
He was skimming the surface of the pool with a net when I got out of the employee bathroom. Brandon looked up at me, his lips parting. His face went pink and my skin went warm under the dress.
I thought about the