Geek Magnet

ACT ONE, SCENE TWO

In which:

WE MEET TAMA GOLD, CAMERON RICHARDSON, AND MY BOOBS

KJ, IT LOOKS FINE, STEPHANIE TOLD ME, STARING AT MY CHEST IN the bathroom mirror. We were on a five-minute break from the table read so that Mr. Katz, the faculty adviser, could go out to his Subaru and chain-smoke Marlboros. It totally fits.

I turned to the side and there they were in full glory. The mega-boobs. My face burned with irritation. The curse of being a redhead—my face flushed at the drop of a hat.

It so does not, I said, crossing my arms over the hot pink hoodie she was attempting to lend me. I pressed my forearms down so hard it hurt. God, I hated those damn things. Sometimes I wondered if there was some breast fairy who came in the window every night, attached a tire pump to my chest area and went to work. You are of a normal size. I am purely Himalayan.

Well, what do you want to do? Wear a stained sweater for the rest of the day? she asked, wrinkling her small upturned nose. Everything about Steph was small. Her feet, her boobs, her ears, her hands. With her blue eyes and curly brown hair she was like a walking, talking Precious Moments figurine. I, meanwhile, was deformed.

All right, fine, I said finally, grabbing my bag. Let’s just go back.

You’re welcome! Stephanie said with a hint of sarcasm. She’s like a mom that way. Always making sure you’re polite.

Thank you! I replied with a smile, matching her tone.

We walked out of the bathroom and headed for the lobby outside the auditorium.

So Robbie Delano really saved you? she asked.

Yep. It was like he had some geek-repelling force field around him or something, I told her. It was super cool.

Huh. Well, by definition that would sort of make him a geek, too, she said thoughtfully.

Uh oh, Science Girl has a new hypothesis, I joked.

Stephanie could make a scientific theory out of almost anything. She once did a whole project on how White Castle isn’t as popular as Burger King, McDonald’s and Wendy’s because red, yellow and orange promote hunger, whereas blue and white promote inner peace. No, I’m not kidding.

Well, think about it. With magnets, the positive force is attracted to the negative force. So let’s say you’re the negative force—

Why do I have to be the negative force? I asked.

She rolled her eyes. Okay, you’re the positive force. The geeks are the negative force. The only thing that could repel them is another negative force. Therefore, Robbie is a geek! she finished happily.

We had just stepped into the lobby, and about a dozen people stopped talking as Stephanie’s last four words echoed throughout the room. Laughter quickly, inevitably, ensued. Stephanie looked like she was about to die.

Omigod. Kill me now, she said.

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. Because my Cameron Richardson radar was going berserk.

Cameron Richardson, I whispered through my teeth, my heart pounding.

What? Steph asked. She was still distracted by her verbal vomit.

He was standing in the corner with Tama and some other guys from the basketball team, all sweaty from practice, cradling a ball and laughing at some joke his friend had made. I loved his laugh. It wasn’t the usual popular-guy laugh. You know how they always laugh really loudly while looking around at their friends to make sure they’re all still laughing, too, so they’ll know when to stop? Like the second something stops being funny to one of them it must stop being funny to all of them. Not Cameron. He laughed like no one was watching him. And sometimes, when you thought he was finished laughing and he’d gone all quiet, he’d suddenly, spontaneously giggle out of nowhere to himself. Sometimes, in bio class, I’d catch him doing that. I loved him most in those moments.

Of course, he’d never caught me doing anything. I was pretty sure that Cameron had a special superpower that enabled him to see right through me.

Cameron Richardson Cameron Richardson Cameron Richardson, I muttered.

I was moving Steph through the lobby now, trying to look casual and cool as we passed by Cameron’s little klatch of friends. His red-and-white Washington High cap was on backward and he lifted it up to scratch at his dark blond curls. My palms were sweating and I felt lightheaded, just like I always did when Cameron was around. The agony of him being right there and not being able to talk to him was a daily torturous bliss. Yet somehow, every day I woke up believing this would be the day. The day that he would see me walking into one of our shared classes and realize he had a major thing for short, shy, red-haired artists. He’d suddenly find his leggy, supermodel, Catholic-schoolgirl-of-the-month ridiculously boring, dump her on her perfect ass, and sweep me off my feet. It could happen. It just . . . hadn’t yet.

Steph and I were just about through the doors to the auditorium when Tama Gold spoke.

Hey, KJ. Come here a sec! I froze. Stephanie tripped over my ankle and took a header into the auditorium. I was powerless to stop her. Everyone was watching me now. Including Cameron.

Those were the first words Tama had spoken to me all year. She used to talk to me all the time. Last year during the musical I had actually thought we were becoming friends. But the second the show was over, she went back to the beautiful people, back to acting like I didn’t exist. I still felt stupid for thinking we could have been friends. I mean, Tama was the most blessed of the blessed. Two years ago she had waltzed right into this school as a transfer student, and before the first mystery meat of the year had been served, she had the popular crowd under her thumb. She was model gorgeous with blemishless cocoa skin, stunning green eyes and smooth brown curls that were never, ever out of place. Not to mention the legs. The height. The ability to wear a plastic garbage bag and make it look like haute couture. How could I have ever thought that a girl like that would waste her time on a girl like me?

Stephanie dusted herself off, shot me a quick look, and headed to the table to grab her script.

KJ! Are you in there? Tama trilled, earning a round of laughter from her friends.

I turned around. Cameron Richardson’s eyes went directly to my breasts. Damn. I crossed my arms and held on tight. He blushed and looked away.

What’s up? I asked Tama.

Nothing. You never talk to me anymore, Tama teased with a pout. I was so psyched when I heard you were going to be stage manager.

You were? I asked, approaching slowly.

The other guys, Tommy and Dustin, looked me up and down like they’d never seen me before. As if Tommy hadn’t regularly peed in my pool back in grade school when we were briefly friends.

Omigod! Totally, Tama said. It’s always good to have friends in high places.

She reached out her long, slim arm and wrapped it around my shoulders, tripping me closer. I hazarded a glance at Cameron. He looked right in my eyes this time, and smiled. No. Freaking. Way.

You guys all know KJ, right? Tama asked, presenting me like a child. As if I hadn’t been going to school with them my whole life.

S’up? Dustin and Tommy said in unison, with the exact same nod.

Hey, KJ, Cameron said, tossing his ball up and down. How’d you do on the bio test?

Wait a second. He knew I was in his bio class? He knew I existed?

Good, uh, fine. You know. Got an A, I said.

What!? What!?

You’re such a little brain, Tama teased, knocking me with her elbow.

KJ and I are the only juniors in our section of AP bio and she’s pretty much the only one who ever gets A’s, Cameron said.

This was unbelievable. Cameron Richardson noticed my grades? I was so floored, and so very, very red, I couldn’t look any of them in the eye. I stared down at my blue plaid Converse and tugged at my hair.

Dude. What’s all over your hands? Dustin asked, disgusted.

I held out my fingers. There were purple and red splotches of paint on a few of my fingertips and under my nails. From art class. Eighth period. I had forgotten to clean up in all my haste to get to the theater. I looked at Cameron and gulped. I bet money none of the girls he went out with was ever seen in public without a professional manicure.

It’s just paint. I had art, I said, shoving my hands under my arms.

It’s called soap and water. Ever heard of it? Tommy joked.

He and Dustin slapped hands and cackled. I was starting to wish Tama had never invited me over here.

That’s real class, man, Cameron admonished. Shut the hell up.

Hang on. Had Cameron just defended me? Okay, Tama inviting me over here was the best thing ever!

Come on, kids! Let’s make magic happen! Mr. Katz announced, coming through the door behind us.

Mr. Katz! Mr. Katz! Tommy shouted mirthfully. Is it too late to audition?

Mr. Katz paused in the auditorium doorway, his Grateful Dead T-shirt bulging with his stomach from under his tweed jacket. He looked at Tommy curiously. The guys dropped their gym bags and balls and backed up.

‘Go, greased lightning, you’re burning up the quarter mile,’ Dustin sang. Badly.

‘Greased lightning! Go, greased lightning!’ Cameron and Tommy chorused. They did a rough imitation of the dance from the movie. Horrible, really. But it was Cameron, and pretty much the cutest thing ever.

A fine rendition, gents, but get out, Mr. Katz said wryly as he smoothed down his comb-over. Ladies? Shall we?

Tommy and Dustin took off for the gym at a jog, but Cameron hung back. Don’t worry about those guys, he said to me, grabbing up his basketball. They can be real jackasses sometimes.

Yeah. And the sky is blue, I said without thinking.

Cameron laughed. Laughed! At my joke!

Good one. See ya in class, he said.

Yeah. See ya.

I stood there and watched him go. I had to remember every single detail of this moment. What I was wearing. What he was wearing. The exact hue of the sunlight streaming through the windows. Every detail of the day Cameron had finally seen me. How was I going to function normally for the rest of the day? How was I going to function normally ever?

I took a deep, giddy breath and turned around. Tama was still there. And she was smiling in a way that made me feel like she knew every single one of my innermost secrets and found them all hilarious.

What? I said dumbly.

Oh my God! You like him! You like Cameron Richardson! she squealed. You naughty girl, you. Crushing on the big basketball star.

I don’t like him, I protested.

No! Cage! I love it! You and Cameron is exactly the out-of-left-field idea this school needs, Tama said. In fact, I am totally going to talk you up to him.

Really? There was no hiding my excitement.

Totally! She draped her arm over my shoulders again as she led me through the double doors. Now, let’s talk costumes. Blue is really my color, so I’m thinking Sandy’s clothes should have blue as a theme. . . .

She was still talking as we made our way down the aisle, but I didn’t hear a word. All I could think about was Cameron. Cameron had smiled at me. He’d spoken to me. He’d defended me. And biggest miracle of all? Not one geek had interrupted us the whole, entire time. And now, Tama Gold, a member of his blessed inner circle, was going to talk me up. In five minutes, my whole entire world had changed.

There was no denying it. The theater really was a magical place.

ACT ONE, SCENE THREE

In which:

WE MEET THE FAMILY, AND WAIT

KATIE JEAN, WILL YOU PLEASE AT LEAST CHEW? MY MOTHER snapped, exasperated. She dropped her fork with a clang and ran her hands over her short, dark hair.

I glanced at my little brother, Christopher. We were both thinking the same thing: Uh oh. Mom’s tense. Chris doesn’t talk much, but we can speak volumes with our eyes. I lowered my fork, chewed and swallowed. I took a gulp of my soda.

Sorry. I just have a lot of homework to do, I told her.

I was lying. She knew I was lying. Even Christopher knew I was lying, and he was eight. I mean, I did have a lot of homework, but that wasn’t the reason I wanted to finish fast. It was the empty chair across from my mom’s at the square kitchen table. The perfect place setting with its napkin still folded and tucked away, waiting for someone to put it to use. Someone who was not there. Someone I wanted to see less and less with each click of the wooden kitchen clock.

But it was Monday. Monday was usually a safe day. Where was he?

Well, it’s still going to be there when you’re finished. How about you don’t choke yourself in the process? my mother said, forcing a smile. She glanced at the clock and pressed her lips together before lifting her eyes. They were sad eyes. I felt angry just looking at them. So how was your first day at the musical?

I cleared my throat. It was great. We did the table read. Robbie Delano was really funny as Danny, and Ashley was perfect, of course. Tama thinks, like, half her lines are too dorky, but it’s all good.

What about Freddy? He’s in it again this year, right? my mom asked.

My mom had loved Fred Frontz ever since he showed up on our doorstep with a homemade valentine for me in the second grade—a ritual that had been repeated every year since. He always acted like they were just friendly cards, but I knew they weren’t, and every year when the doorbell rang on V-Day, I went to get it, terrified—petrified that this would be the year he finally got up the guts to ask me out. But my mom didn’t get that. She just thought that Fred was the sweetest boy.

He was good, I said. He’s all tense about getting his lines right, of course.

That sounds like Freddy, she said with a knowing chuckle.

We all heard a car turn onto our street and my mother’s eyes darted to the kitchen window. It took about two seconds for all of us to recognize that the car was not his. I could feel my mother and brother de-clench.

That’s why I was late. He was all over me after rehearsal to run lines with him, so I went over there, I told her. Otherwise he never would have let it go. My foot bounced up and down under the table. I should have put Fred off until after dinner. Then I’d be able to get out of here.

That’s nice. You’re a good friend to him, KJ, my mother told me.

Yeah, well, I said. Boy made it impossible not to be. He was like a big puppy dog, just begging for affection. I was incapable of saying no to him. Which was another reason to be terrified of the day he finally got up the guts to ask me out.

I took a bite of my chicken and tried to concentrate on chewing. Another car turned onto our block and sped by. The clock tick, tick, ticked. Christopher thudded his foot against one of the table legs, mimicking the beat. My mother picked up her napkin, crumpled it, and dropped it on top of her almost-full plate.

Well, it looks like Dad’s going to be late again, she said with a sigh.

Chris and I glanced at each other and jumped up from the table to clear it. My mother had just given us our get-out-of-jail-free card. If we could just get the table cleared (except for his plate) and get our butts up to our rooms before he came home, then we might not have to deal with him. It was already seven forty-five, and if my father walks through the door any time after seven thirty, there’s no telling what kind of shape he’s going to be in. It’s always better to be out of sight and armed with an excuse to avoid him.

I scraped my plate over the garbage can, then my brother’s, then my mom’s. Chris swiped the table for crumbs, then scurried up the stairs. I loaded up the dishwasher and closed it, then quickly followed. When I glanced over my shoulder, my mom was leaning against the kitchen counter, staring out the window at the pitch-black front yard in a pose of grim resignation.

Mom doesn’t have a second-floor room to go to. No matter what, she always has to deal with him. My heart went out to her, but that didn’t stop me from taking the stairs two at a time, and shutting my door behind me.

ACT ONE, SCENE FOUR

In which:

WE MEET MY DAD

I CAN’T BELIEVE I MISSED IT. HE ACTUALLY LAUGHED AT something you said! Stephanie gushed on the phone that night. Cameron Richardson thinks you’re funny!

I’d already told her the story ten times, but neither one of us had gotten bored of it yet. We’d spent the last five years of our lives talking about how this moment might happen when it finally happened, and now that it had happened, we were dissecting it hard core.

"He even said ‘good one!’ So he laughed and complimented me, I told her, spinning around and around in my desk chair. This was the best day ever."

Do you realize what this means? Stephanie blurted.

That we’re going to fall in love and live happily ever after? What?

It means he doesn’t actually have superpowers, Stephanie joked. I’m kind of disappointed, to be honest. It would have been cool to know someone who had actually evolved into a superbeing that could see through genetic matter. I so would have liked to study him.

You and the rest of the female population of Washington High, I said with a laugh.

An IM popped up on my screen. The time stamp said nine fifty-five. I stopped spinning. Was it that late already? And still no sign of dear old Dad. I waited for the stomach knot of dread to pass, then read the message. It was from Andy.

Terrero365: do we need to do a props list or did you do it already? Because I can do it if you need me to or we could do it together. If you have time at lunch or before rehearsal or . . . what do you think?

I typed back.

KJrocks: lunch works 4 me.

Terrero365: kewl. I’ll bring the soy chips I was telling you about!!!

Oh. Yay.

G_Marlowe: the virtual me is holding the virtual you’s hand.

I cringed and closed the new IM window. The best way to deal with Glenn’s IMs was to ignore them.

Ready4Freddy: hey kj!!!!! wanna ride 2 school 2gether? have a q 4 u.

I rolled my eyes. As soon as my away message left, they were all over my IM. I couldn’t even get away from these guys when I was in the privacy of my own home. Now Fred wanted a ride in the morning. What if Cameron saw us get out of the car together and thought we were, like, dating? Still, what was I going to say to Fred? He knew I had a car. He knew I had to drive past his house to get to school. I was