Building a Family with Optimum Child Rearing: A Guide for Teachers, Caregivers, Counselors, and Advisers in the Era of Globalization

Introduction

The Basis of the Book

The history and experiences a person gains in life serve as assets and opportunities to educate the society they live in, provided that these opportunities are utilized appropriately. Therefore, the experiences that the author, as a teacher, counselor, and advisor to students across various levels and educational settings, have been the source of inspiration for this book. Drawing from this wealth of experience, the author, in roles such as a teacher, counselor, and advisor over an extended period, witnessed various behaviors, both positive and negative, exhibited by students. These behaviors were influenced by the systems and styles of upbringing they received from their families.

The author firmly believes in the significant differences in parenting styles among different families, both historically and up to the present. The book therefore, aims to be a valuable source of knowledge and guidance for those involved in the upbringing and development of children. The intention is to educate the community on the importance of effective parenting and provide insights into various parenting perspectives that contribute to the positive development of children.

Context of the Book

In today’s world, society comprises different generations, including the fading old generation, the thriving intermediate generation, and the modern generation, which consists predominantly of children and youth. These generations are interdependent, and each is influenced by the behaviors and systems of the preceding generations.

Significant changes have been observed in the ethics of children and youth in recent years. These changes are largely attributed to various parenting systems at the levels of family, community, and the nation as a whole. Additionally, Rwegelera informs that these cultural flows are associated with the expanding scope of globalization, predominantly influenced by Western and American interests.

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The difference between one generation and another lies in the styles of parenting provided between generations. Therefore, the strengths and weaknesses of any generation are interpreted based on the parenting practices being implemented and observed by the respective generation.

The present generation, which is significantly influenced by a lifestyle that embraces globalization, should be nurtured on ethical foundations in accordance with the traditions, customs, and cultural heritage of our society. For instance, in the past, each community in Tanzania had its own system of upbringing children and youth, guided by the traditions and customs of that specific community. Some ethnic groups had practices like JANDO the rite for boys and UNYAGO the rite for girls. In these rites of passage, many aspects of life focusing on fostering good values for the community were taught. For example, issues of maturity, responsibility to the family and society, as well as the aspects of married life and independence were covered. These teachings contributed to building a society that knows its responsibilities while adhering to its ethical values.

However, this traditional system of upbringing, despite its merits and demerits, has continued to disappear due to the impact of the current lifestyle, which is largely built on the foundations of globalization. Many parents and guardians have forgotten the foundations of good upbringing in line with the traditions and customs of their communities. Instead, they have totally adopted a system of parenting that reflects globalization, leading to a generation with values contrary to their traditions and customs.

Therefore, it is my belief that this book, to a large extent, will help in building a solid foundation for the proper upbringing of a child and ultimately contribute to having better families, especially in these times of globalization where violence against children and poor upbringing of children with high erosion of ethical values seem to be increasing.

Since this book has been written basing on the context of Tanzania where the National language is Kiswahili, some information has been cited and translated directly from different sources written in Kiswahili language as it indicates in the bibliography.

Intended Audience

The intended audience of this book includes professionals in counseling and guidance, especially in the context of child rearing in the era of globalization. Additionally, the book will be a valuable resource for parents, guardians, school teachers, marriage counselors, family and parenting workshop facilitators, and all stakeholders involved in matters of child upbringing and protection. The contents of this book can be enjoyed by anybody all over the world because the issue of child rearing is a global phenomenon. By reading this book, the author hopes that all target readers will benefit and, in turn, become pillars in helping to build strong, responsible and ethical families and communities that can analyze good and bad rearing, especially in these times of globalization.

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. Rwegelera, The Effect of Globalization,

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CHAPTER 1

The Theory of Family

Introduction

According to Jacobsen, Fursman, Bryant, Claridge and Jensen, the origin and meaning of the word ‘family’ can be interpreted from various perspectives such as anthropological, sociological, psychological, economic, and biological, depending on an individual’s or a group’s viewpoint.

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Since a person’s perspective is the result of their independent thoughts on a particular matter, the author of this book interprets the term family in two perspectives:

i. Religious Perspective

ii. Secular Perspective

The differences in these two theories about the family are discussed in more detail below.

Religious Perspective

In the religious perspective, the origin of the term family is derived from the Almighty God as described in the holy books of God (the Bible and the Qur’an). God, when He created the heavens and the earth and created the first human known as Adam and Eve, and commanded them to multiply, giving them the ability to live and rule over all resources, that’s when the family began. The Holy Scriptures in the Bible state: "26 Then God said, ‘Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.’ 27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. 28 God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.’" (Gen, chapter 1, verse 26–28). From the Holy Bible quotation, it is evident that before this creation, there is no book that shows the existence of human life on the face of the earth.

Thus, it is clear that the origin of the term family comes from the Almighty God in His creation. Therefore, the very first family is the one established by God, consisting of a husband (Adam) and a wife (Eve). From this husband and wife family, various families multiplied. This type of family, originating from God, was built on the foundations of ethical upbringing that respected God by adhering to His guidance. The generation that emerged from this family was responsible for ethical and just upbringing, following the laws of God. The image of good and ethical humanity (family) of today was built by this first generation.

Secular Perspective

In the Sociological perspective, Mwanahiza explains that a family is a union of a father, mother, children, and close relatives.

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In the secular perspective, the meaning of the term family is interpreted based on the cultures and societies of people in their earthly environments. In this context, the term family can be interpreted as a group of people living together, such as a father, mother, and children, based on the principle of reproduction. This group often forms part of a larger extended family connecting people with a common ancestry (lineage). This type of family is found in all human societies worldwide. Additionally, in an informal sense, Chudhuri describe family as a group of people making up a household (domestic group) who share living and food facilities together.

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Chudhuri goes further to define the family as an institution or a small community with characteristics of communal living, shared economy, and collaborative production with an institutional structure that has laws, traditions, and customs guiding family members to self-identify.

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According to the perspective built in this theory, it is evident that the family was established by the Almighty God Himself when the holy books describe that a man (Adam) was created, and then a woman (Eve), who multiplied and eventually formed a family. However, the holy books do not explain the origin of God, meaning His parents, family lineage, and His native land, which opens up room for debate about the reality of His existence and the truth about His creation. The lack of details showing the origin of God and His generation may be the major weakness of this religious theory about the family, as the author highlights in this book.

This type of family built from the secular perspective has a significant responsibility to perpetuate its generation based on the traditions and customs instituted by the forefathers. Therefore, the issue of upbringing children and youth in this type of family depends on the traditions and customs set by the founders of that generation. In this context, these upbringing practices may be influenced by various surrounding environments within that society. Undoubtedly, these differences in traditions and customs regarding upbringing contribute to the diversity of behaviors, with some being considered good and others bad.

However, unlike the religious perspective discussed in this chapter, this secular perspective on family does not explicitly indicate the origin of the first family members, namely, father and mother, as described in the religious theory that the first human was created by God. The lack of clear information about the origin of the first family members might be considered