Darn Knit All: All Access Series, #3

CHAPTER 1

MAI

Theo

Hey, it’s Theo Garrett. I got your number from Ren. We need to talk ASAP!!

Mai

*Missed call from Mai*

*Missed call from Mai*

*Missed call from Mai*

PICK UP YOUR PHONE!!! Is Ren okay!?!? CALL ME!!!

Theo

Shit, sorry!! He’s fine, I swear! It’s just... you made Frankie and Jay’s wedding cake, right? 

Mai

Wait. This isn’t an emergency?!?

Theo

Well, not one involving Ren.

Mai

Okay. Crap. Did you get food poisoning?

Theo

No. Are you crazy? That cake was the bomb diggity. I just can’t get the taste out of my mouth. You don’t happen to make them regularly, do you? 

Mai

Firstly, bomb diggity? Who still uses that? Secondly, wedding cakes? No. That was a one-off.

Theo

I still use it. Bomb diggity is fun to say. But back to the actual question—how about regular cakes?

Mai

Not really…

Theo

Not even if I begged? Or paid?  folded hands folded hands folded hands

Mai

Are you really trying to puppy eye me via text?

Theo

Unashamedly yes.

Mai

This is the weirdest conversation…

Theo

I can pay you in cash, services, or goods. Do you have paper needs? If you don’t know, I part-own a paper mill with your bestie and my bro. I’m sure we can work something out.

Mai

I’m aware. And, no. I’m good.

Theo

Come on, I’m desperate here. There has to be something you need. I’m tight with Ren, hit me with your requests. Stink bombing his car? Itching powder in his jocks? I’m not above hiding shrimp in his curtain rails.

Mai

Actually, if you find out what he wants for his birthday then I *might* consider making you a cake.

Theo

Hallelujah! I’m on it!

Theo

He wants tickets to the Wild Ones tour.

Mai

You got that in 5 minutes?

Theo

I told you, I was on it. Now, about that cake?

Mai

One layer and I refuse to do fondant.

Theo

Fondant? Bah! That’s the devil’s food clothing. It’s buttercream or ganache all the way!

Mai

I feel like I’m going to regret this.

Theo

What are you talking about? This is the start of a beautiful friendship.

Theo

What are your adjectives?

Mai

?? Do you mean my pronouns?

Theo

No, your adjectives

Mai

…? I have no idea. What are yours?

Theo

Hilarious, loyal, and dashingly chaotic

Mai

Holy!!!

Mai

And suddenly everything makes sense once more

Mai

Check this out

Theo

Holy shit! Now THAT is a dress even I would wear

Mai

I’d like to see you try

Theo

You know, every time you send me one of these magnificent creations, I get a little FOMO that I can’t create something that incredible

Mai

We can’t all be filled with awesome

Theo

Alas, this is true

Mai

I could help you, if you wanted? Teach you a few of the basics?

Theo

FUCK YES! I shall be your Padawan—fighting evil one stitch at a time!

Mai

Don’t make me regret this

Theo

Have you ever looked at something so precious you’re worried you’ll eat it?

Mai

I take it you’re babysitting again?

Theo

Lincoln and Annie are out at some couples’ night thing

Mai

Translation: Linc has booked them into a hotel because Annie needs sleep

Theo

Pretty much. Though why anyone would want a night away from these kids is beyond me. Look at them!

Mai

Nawwww. Now I want cuddles

Theo

Come over. All the cuddles from the three of us you can handle

Mai

Three of you?

Theo

What? You don’t platonically cuddle?

Mai

I retract my question

Theo

Should I put the kettle on? Maybe order some pizza?

Mai

I shouldn’t

Theo

Shouldn’t you?

Mai

I’ll be over soon

Mai

Q?

Theo

Shoot

Mai

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Theo

Absolutely

Mai

Wait. Really?

Theo

Have you seen my niece and nephew??? First time I saw them I knew I would do anything for them. ANYTHING! They’re kidnapped and sold into the human trafficking trade while on a European vacation? You better believe I’m calling Liam Neeson for pointers

Mai

But what about romantic love? Do you ever think people look at each other and just… know?

Theo

Depends

Mai

On?

Theo

Are they holding a triple layer buttercream peanut butter chocolate cake?

Mai

Be serious!

Theo

No. Not unless they’re fated to be together or some weird past life soul mates (*cough* Linc and Annie *cough*). Those are the lucky ones. The rest of us poor souls have to make do with sampling the buffet until we find our match

Mai

Theodore! Be still my heart! I never took you for a romantic!

Theo

I’m like a good meringue—crispy on the outside, marshmallow on the inside

Mai

And far too pretentious for your own good

Theo

I’ve been thinking about your question from last week

Mai

Which one?

Theo

The love at first sight

Mai

Mm?

Theo

Do YOU believe in it?

Mai

Not for me. Other people maybe, but not me

Theo

Why not you?

Mai

I’m demisexual

Theo

You only love GODS?!?

Mai

That’s correct. Out of all the possible people in the world, I chose to love a God. Hades, to be precise.

Mai

How did you even get to that idea?

Theo

Anddddddd I just Googled. Ignore me and my ignorance. My mind jumped to demigods for some reason. Let’s blame Loki’s chaotic bi energy

Mai

You’re forgiven now that you’re putting in the work. But do you get why love at first sight isn’t exactly something I understand?

Theo

I’m beginning to. What prompted the question?

Mai

Romance novel. I loved it but it felt unrealistic. Who just falls in love at a glance? How do you know they’re not a terrible person and you don’t just want their body?

Theo

The world works in mysterious ways. I wouldn’t put past life soul mates out of your mind just yet

Mai

I appreciate your indulgence on this topic

Theo

You are welcome, friend

Theo

Can I ask a personal question?

Mai

You can. Doesn’t mean I’ll answer it

Theo

Fair. How does the dating thing work when you’re demisexual?

Mai

Slowly. Painfully so. It’s mostly me waking up one day realizing I have a crush on a friend or a colleague and suddenly feeling awkward about it

Theo

Ah. I see. Well, if it makes you feel any better, my regular dating life is less slow burn and more glacial iceberg

Mai

LOL. I take it the date didn’t go well?

Theo

Let’s just say she wasn’t exactly impressed with my Kermit the Frog impression. I did win the trivia night though

Mai

Never change, Theo. Never, ever change

Mai

After our talk last night, I realized I didn’t explain what my demisexuality looks like

Theo

Go on

Mai

It’s not like I don’t get sexual feelings. I do. I often feel sexually attracted to people, but to do so I need an emotional connection. Sometimes I have that emotional connection, but my body isn’t interested. Other times I have that emotional connection and it’s like my body is revved up to ten thousand on the horny scale

Theo

It’s subjective

Mai

Yes! And there’s nothing I can do to control it. It’s kind of an either/or

Theo

Does that mean you don’t ever… jiggle the monkey?

Mai

…?

Theo

You know, flick the bean?

Mai

You mean masturbate.

Theo

If you must be crude, yes

Mai

face with rolling eyes You’re so mature… but the answer is yes

Theo

Girl, same raising hands party popper

Mai

I assumed that might be the case…

Mai

I had a panic attack today

Theo

Damn What do you need? How can I help?

Mai

Nothing. I just

Theo

Just?

Theo

Mai, you there?

Mai

Sorry, I didn’t mean to send that

Theo

Talk to me. Or don’t, whatever you need to do. Just know I’m here

Mai

Sorry for bothering you

Theo

You’re the furthest thing from a bother. You wanna talk?

Mai

No. But thank you

Theo

Any time. Seriously

Mai

Did you send me a stress ball in the shape of Ren’s head?

Theo

I can neither confirm nor deny

Mai

Well, if it was you, thank you. It made me laugh!

Theo

What do you think?

Mai

WTF is that?

Theo

My first sewing attempt, can’t you tell?

Mai

Theo. Is that BLOOD???

Theo

Only a little. Do you like it?

Mai

It’s a great shirt! thumbs up

Theo

They’re shorts…

Mai

Shorts! Damn autocorrect…

Theo

Somehow I don’t believe you

Mai

I can’t breathe

Theo

*Gif of breathing timer*

Mai

Thank you. Damn

Theo

What happened?

Mai

I had a dress fitting with a bride, and her mother started freaking out about sizing because the bride put on a little weight. It’s not a big deal but the mother lost it and started screaming

Theo

I will never understand the pressure weddings put on people. You okay now?

Mai

No. But I will be

Theo

Chicken wings?

Mai

Not sure I’ll be very good company

Theo

You’re always great company. Come on, you know you want some finger licking meaty goodness

Mai

Thanks for tonight <3

Theo

Any time. Though next time I’m ordering extra fries

Mai

You say that every time

Theo

And every time I mean it

Theo

How do you feel about G-strings?

Mai

For me or for you?

Theo

Good question. Both?

Mai

In what context are we talking?

Theo

There needs to be a context?

Mai

Oh, so you’ve never actually worn a G-string

Theo

How can you tell?

Mai

Theo, one does not wear one for no reason. The pain, the discomfort, the picking it out of your ass. There are only three reasons to subject yourself to such an event,

1. No panty lines for tight clothing

2. You want to get lucky

3. Laundry day and it’s all that is left

Which is it?

Theo

Linc’s bachelor party. We want to buy one for the groom

Mai

Of course you create a 4th reason

Theo

You ever feel like you’re destined to be alone?

Mai

I take it the date isn’t going well?

Theo

Understatement. She stood me up

Mai

Ouch

Theo

My only consolation is the bar felt so bad they shouted me free fries

Mai

Mmmmmm fries

Theo

Wanna come share them with me? You’re only around the corner…

Mai

Will there be chicken wings?

Theo

I can make some appear

Mai

See you in 5

Istrode into the bar, my gaze scanning the room for a familiar dark-brown head and spotted Theo waving frantically from his seat at the bar. I lifted my chin in acknowledgement, rolling my eyes and grinning at his exuberance as I began to make my way through the tables to him.

If anyone had asked me how to describe Theo, I’d have been at a loss. Sure, I could describe the way his dark hair flopped over his green eyes, or the fact he often made me feel small and protected thanks to his height and muscular build. I could comment on how he always wore plaid and jeans, with the right leg of his pants cut off at the knee for easy access to his prosthetic. I could describe how he—unlike his twin—was always ready with a smile, laughing his way through life.

But all of that was superficial. The beauty of Theo wasn’t in his looks; his beauty came from the way he made you feel. He reminded me of a hug, or the first sunny day after a bitter winter—sweet and desperately needed.

Theo had to be the very definition of a golden-retriever-type personality. Hyperactive, adorably awkward, passionately protective, lovingly loyal and hilariously friendly. When you became one of his people, he did whatever he could to make you happy.

Which is why I’d changed out of PJs and pulled on a bra to haul myself down to the local bar on a Wednesday night to comfort him.

These were sacrifices I made for friends.

What happened this time? I asked, sliding into the seat beside his.

He held up his phone for me to see. Ghosted. She texted right up until fifteen minutes after the date had been due to start then said, ‘can’t come’ and blocked me on the app.

Rude. I leaned over to swipe a fry from the basket in front of him. Your bad luck with potential partners is becoming legendary.

Theo slumped on the barstool. Tell me about it. At this rate I’m going to end up dying alone.

I raised my hand, flagging down the bartender. At least you’re trying. My dating life is dryer than the Sahara Desert.

She arrived, the cute bartender said, grinning at Theo.

No, this is my friend, Mai. Mai meet Aiden. He’s been keeping me company for the last two hours.

Aiden reached across the bar to shake my hand. Pleasure.

I eyed him, sizing him up as a potential date for Theo. Lovely to meet you, Aiden. Do you happen to be single? I jerked my thumb at Theo. ’Cause this big guy is looking.

He chuckled. Alas no. I also happen to be about to leave the Cove. But if all of that ever falls apart— He winked at Theo. —I’ll give you a call.

See? Theo said with a dramatic sigh. I’m cursed.

You’re not cursed. I tilted my head to one side as I considered the selection of non-alcoholic beverages available to me. Apple cider, please.

Good choice. Aiden pulled a bottle free, cracking open the lid. This one’s local. It’s from Red Dog Brewery, and the apples are grown at the 4H Farm.

I sipped, enjoying the tart sweetness. Oh, it’s good.

Aiden grinned. Call when you want a refill.

He left us to serve another customer.

Theo reached for a chicken wing. Sorry for dragging you out here.

I shrugged. "I was watching reruns of Astipia’s Next Top Model. I think you’ve saved me from myself."

Red flags began to wave when he didn’t even smile.

Hey. I touched a hand to his leg. You okay?

Sorry, just in a shitty mood.

Because whoever she is stood you up?

He nodded then shook his head then huffed. I don’t know. It’s just… never mind.

You wanna talk about it?

No. He hesitated. Maybe? No. Definitely not.

He dropped the uneaten chicken wing on his napkin. Warning bells began to wail, for Theo was a man who devoured everything within sight. For him not to be eating? The situation had to be serious.

Come on, I coaxed. I’ll be your sounding board.

For the umpteenth time since I’d sat down, Theo huffed and sighed and huffed again.

I’m just being ungrateful. He ran a hand through his hair. I need to get over myself.

I waved a dismissive hand. Stop putting yourself down. Let it out.

I’ve got a good home. A good job. A great family. He stopped, making a frustrated noise.

But? I prompted when he didn’t continue.

But. That’s a good question. I should be grateful but… Linc and Annie are the brains behind the business, I’m just the supervisor helping them toward their vision. I live in a rental. My family is primarily their family. I don’t know, sometimes I just feel…. He shrugged.

Like you’re a third wheel in your own life?

Oof! Right in the feels there, Mai. He rubbed his chest.

You know, you’re not the only one who feels like that sometimes. I tossed a fry in my mouth, chewing thoughtfully. Or maybe more than sometimes.

Try all the time.

I frowned. That doesn’t seem healthy.

I know. He shuffled on his seat, one hand dropping to absently rub at the liner covering his right knee. I knew some of his story. He’d been in a car crash over a decade ago that had pinned him in the vehicle. They’d had to perform a transtibial amputation—removing his leg from below the knee—in order to free him.

I’d known of Theo before the accident but only in the way I knew of most people in this small town. We hadn’t been friends or even closely acquainted. At some point over the last decade, he and my brother, Ren, had become friends, and through Ren I’d begun to know Theo. But it hadn’t been until the last few years that we’d gotten close.

I guess the question becomes, what are you going to do about it? I asked, slicking another fry through some ketchup.

I don’t know. How do you deal with it?

I chuckled. I don’t. I just avoid thinking too hard about the details.

A drop of sauce slipped from my fry on the journey to my mouth, splattering on my jean leg.

Damn. I slid from the stool, grabbing some napkins. I’ll be right back. Let me clean this off before it stains.

I washed the stain in the bathroom and returned to find Theo bent over his phone.

I slid back onto the stool beside him. Miss me?

His head jerked up, his eyes dancing. I’ve figured it out.

I arched one eyebrow.

How we’re gonna start living! No more third wheel in our own lives. To kick us off, I’m sending in your application for this. He handed me his phone.

I glanced down to find it opened to a website—PerfectFitContest.com.

What is this?

It’s a fashion competition. He bounced in his chair. They’re searching for up-and-coming designers to profile on their reality TV show. The prize is your own show and a shit-ton of money.

I scrolled through the page, shaking my head. I can’t. I’m not good enough for something like this.

Psh. Theo plucked the phone out of my hand. I’m entering you.

Theo!

Too late, he said, his thumbs flying over the screen. This is your challenge.

I’ll never get in.

Then there’s nothing to lose.

I couldn’t argue with his logic.

He glanced up, seeing my expression. You’re an incredible designer, Mai. You deserve to at least try.

He held the phone out to me. Yes or no?

The submit button stared out at me from the screen, taunting me.