Find Your Purpose, Change Your Life: Getting to the Heart of Your Life's Mission

PART ONE

STARTING

WHERE YOU ARE

CHAPTER 1

Getting Started

Masked by the snowflakes,

The colour of your petals

May well be hidden:

Yet still put forth your scent

That people may know your flower.

—ONO TAKAMURA¹

Each of us dreams of reaching a point at which we finally have it all together. Often we assume that today doesn’t really count. It’s just another day. But this day is an entire and beautiful gift, full of physical sensations, a range of emotional responses, and information about who we are and why we are here—if we choose to become conscious of what this day brings. Each day has its own purpose and fits into the great plan of our life. This very moment carries traces of our life purpose in places where we focus our attention, in words or ideas that bring a tingle of excitement and hope in our heart.

Your life purpose was chosen before birth. This inborn organizing force silently attracts people and information directly related to what you need to know in order to make immediate choices. Someone may recommend a book, a teacher, a job opportunity, or a blind date. You may take a wrong turn and wind up at the right place. This workbook is designed to help you awaken to the natural guidance of your intuition and to stay in the flow of effortless synchronicity. Let’s start by getting into the feel of what you want.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

Close your eyes and remember a time when you felt fully alive and so engrossed in something that you lost track of the time. Try to reexperience this scene of success and self-confidence. How did you feel? How would you describe your feelings at the peak of being yourself, on your path, on purpose?

Others describe their feelings of being on purpose as follows:

• Work feels effortless.

• It’s fun.

• Everything flows.

• I feel resourceful.

• I can handle anything.

• I feel a passion for the work.

• I’m in tune.

• I feel motivated.

• Money flows in.

• I have more courage.

• Synchronicities abound.

• I’m energized.

• I’m totally absorbed.

• I’m excited.

• I’m doing service.

These states of being are all proof that you have already been able to connect to something you value, something that is part of your purpose. If you can truthfully say that you have never had any of these feelings, perhaps you can close your eyes and bring those desired states fully into your being by playfully pretending to feel the joy of being on track. When you experience any of these feeling states, you are on track and on purpose.

To help you describe and define this deep inner yearning to find your place in the world, to live your purpose, take a moment to answer the following questions as best you can. Don’t struggle or strain to come up with any fancy words. Just write out what is in your heart at this moment.

1. What is so important to you that you bought this book to work on finding your life purpose?__________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

2. What are you looking for?_______________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

3. What do you want?____________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

4. What would make you happy?___________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

5. What stops you from having it?___________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

6. How do you want to feel?_______________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

7. What have you been passionate about in the past?____________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

8. If you could have anything you want, what would that be?_____ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

9. What aspects of your life or career are you truly committed to? _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

10. What would make a difference in the quality of your life?_____ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

11. If you had the thing that would make a difference in the quality of your life, what would that give you?___________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

12. What would you like to change in the world?_______________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

13. What would it take for you to be living in total integrity?______ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

a1 Transfer your answers to questions 1, 2, 4, 6, 11, and 13 to the profile sheet, pages 223–224.

POINTS TO REMEMBER WHEN GETTING STARTED

a1 Stay open and express gratitude for what you already have.

• Today is a new day. No matter what has gone before, today is a completely new gift from God for you to enjoy.

• Anything might happen today. Anything is possible.

• You are always at the beginning.

• You always have options.

a1 If you don’t know where to start

• Start anywhere. Start wherever you are. Take small steps in the direction you want to go. When you procrastinate, especially when you know what the next step should be, you drain your energy. Starting anywhere means you can begin to be on purpose by cleaning out your garage, taking your child to the park, or inviting friends over to brainstorm a community project. When you put your heart and mind together to do the best you can in any situation, you are working from a sense of purpose, which will lead you to being more fully expressed.

• Take one small step. Then take another.

• Watch to see what happens next. Do you get a go or a no from life?

• Do any coincidences suggest new options?

• What does your intuition or gut suggest?

• Remember that there is a reason for everything.

• Stay in the moment. The present moment contains clues, messages, and opportunities.

• Ask yourself: What is my conscious excuse or reason for stalling? What do I gain from stalling? What is the fear underneath the excuse or reason?

TIP CARDS: On individual index cards, write the tips that give you the most energy.

THE OPRAH STORY

I tell this story because it illustrates several points about the process of unfolding life purpose. Perhaps the main point of this story is that when we want to increase our prosperity and success, we literally have to raise the ceiling on our beliefs about ourselves. Raising the ceiling opens the space for the next piece of abundance to flow in.

During the weeks before The Purpose of Your Life came out, I was preparing to promote the book with my publisher’s help. I was concerned about how to present the book in appropriate sound bytes— those short, high-impact messages necessary for radio and TV programs. Even though the book was not yet available, I needed to brainstorm with someone who knew the ropes, and my intuition suggested my friend Larry Leigon. Larry is a business consultant who, at one time, traveled widely promoting Ariel, a nonalcoholic winery he cofounded.

Settling down in my office with him on a Friday morning, I was geared up to attack my book, chapter by chapter, in a linear way, looking for the most important points. Instead, Larry asked me, What interested you this morning? Anticipating that I somehow was going to have to struggle to find and prioritize ideas, and labor to find the right words, I found Larry’s question disarmingly easy to answer. Surprised, I felt a relaxation in my body. All I had to do was think back to earlier in the morning when I read the newspaper. I was interested in a story about the mayor of Naples who is cleaning up crime in his city, I told Larry. Why? he asked. I told him I was interested in people who make a difference in the world. Also, I was getting ready to go to Italy to teach workshops, and this was a good story of someone in that country manifesting his life purpose.

What did you do with the article? he continued to probe. I said I had cut it out, underlined some ideas, made some notes, and filed it. Of course, you did. You’re a writer, he said, laughing. Something about that article was important to your life purpose. Wow, I exclaimed. "That’s so interesting, Larry! You should be teaching this material. How did you come up with that? Easy, he replied. I got it out of your book [The Purpose of Your Life]." He was mirroring back to me the very point I make to others. In my experience, anything that catches our interest is part of our life purpose, or we wouldn’t be paying attention to it. Shaking my head with good-humored chagrin, I continued to answer his questions about what interests me and why. (Synchronicistically, I met the mayor of Palermo, Leoluca Orlando, another Sicilian crime-fighting public figure, when we both appeared on the Michael Jackson show on KRLA exactly one year later to the day.)

By getting clear about what I do in my writing, workshops, and numerology consultations, I formulated a purpose statement for my work. It seems that what I tend to do, time after time, is help people pay attention to what they normally overlook.

So how many people would you like to do that for? he asked. I thought back to when I began my practice with small classes of six or seven people. In the past few years, I have traveled extensively and figured that maybe the largest audience I had had so far was about fifteen hundred. How would you like to talk to a hundred thousand? he asked. Whoa. One hundred thousand? Larry described my reaction as backing away from that idea, rather than moving toward it. I realized I was intimidated by the idea of such a large crowd. Why was I so intimidated?

As I examined my feelings, I realized that I was suffering from a faulty conception of what would be required of me at this theoretical event. If all I had to do was do my life purpose, which is to help people pay attention to what they would normally overlook, then it wouldn’t matter who was in front of me. What had momentarily stopped me from moving toward the idea of a large crowd was not understanding my part in the overall structure. I did not have to park all the cars. I did not have to sell the tickets. I did not have to cater the event. Others would find an outlet for their interests and abilities in doing these other activities. All I had to do was stand on the stage and help people pay attention to what they would normally overlook. That’s my part. I was energized by our work together, and Larry left after a quick lunch.

About four hours later, the producer from Oprah called and formally invited me to appear on the show they were doing about synchronicity. You can’t tell me that those two events—imagining myself at ease speaking to thousands of people and receiving a call from the most-watched television show in America—were not related. I had raised the ceiling on my identity as a speaker.

Let’s review some of the lessons and points from the story.

• My intuition prompted me to seek help. Ostensibly, my intuition was telling me that my next step was to find help with promotional issues. However, there was an issue that was deeper than that simple promotion, and it lay in my unconscious, asking to come to the light of awareness.

• Again, following intuition and uncommon sense, rather than logically going to the phone book, I selected someone who was familiar with my book and experiences but was not a professional media coach. The commonsense answer would have been to hire a public relations person (which I also did later, by the way).

• Defining my own purpose helped me see exactly what I do—and what I don’t do. This clarification brought up deep, related issues about my self-concept, issues that needed to be addressed so that a larger flow could happen. The specific concern about sound bytes, as is so often the case with our fears, was not the important issue.

• I saw the ceiling I had put on myself. This realization allowed me to see that my fear of the event stemmed from misidentifying the true nature of my task. Realizing that all I had to do was what I love to do and am good at doing took most of the fear away. I didn’t conquer the fear; I looked at it and saw that I was fearful of things that weren’t mine to deal with.

• Identifying my purpose, being willing to show up and do my purpose, and not getting sidetracked into irrelevant fears seemed to open my energy field and attract in the special opportunity of being on a stage reaching far more than a hundred thousand people.

You will be able to work with some of these principles in the next chapter. Before that, however, read about how Christina (Sunni) Taliaferro, founder and visionary of Wings of Solimar, an angel gallery, made the transition from being a successful but burnt-out marketing executive in the music business to becoming owner of a spiritual center in Lafayette, California.

At this moment, you are in a stage of your developing purpose, and you are not off track, no matter how blocked you currently feel. Your calling has already made itself known through what motivates you (past and present), what attracts you, what you resist, and what frustrates you. Your calling may have made a brief appearance between the ages of three and eight, or revealed itself in adolescence through a sudden interest. Your calling can also be glimpsed in what you admire in others. It can be seen in those abilities you have that you don’t even think are special.

—The Purpose of Your Life²

SUNNI’S STORY

"I had been working in the glitzy world of the music business but was completely exhausted and unsatisfied. I didn’t know what to do. In 1993 I read The Celestine Prophecy [by James Redfield] five times and The Celestine Prophecy: An Experiential Guide [by Redfield and Adrienne] twice. I decided I wanted to go within. I reviewed the milestones of my life, and wrote it all out. I saw that I needed to learn compassion, and I saw that I had not forgiven myself or the people who have hurt me. It felt like my soul was broken. I was looking for a place to learn humility. That turned out to be as a bagger at Lucky’s [supermarket]. You don’t get much more subservient than bagging people’s groceries!

"I heard Deepak Chopra say that we must walk through life without judgment, and I wanted to be able to do that. I would stand at the end of the checkout line and greet everyone with a smile. I would silently say to them, ‘The God Light in me salutes the God Light in you.’ Many people would be puzzled and ask me, ‘Why are you a bagger?’ I said, ‘I’m in transition; I’m learning,’ but I didn’t let anyone know that I was doing this job as a spiritual practice.

"I would push grocery carts in the rain, and some people wouldn’t even say good-bye to me. Even so, I’d still go up to their window and say, ‘Have a nice day.’ I would still send them love; it occurred to me that maybe I was the only person in their life who would give them positive energy that day. For every cart I pushed, I would say to myself, ‘This is a test of my will to surrender and to grow as a spirit.’

"I learned that the glass ceiling can be pushed through when you are working from the spiritual level. Normally, grocery stores are extremely hierarchical and seniority is everything. Within six months I was promoted to bookkeeper, which sent shock waves through the store, since I was such a new kid on the block. But the hostility from older employees just died away in the face of my attitude. I still didn’t say anything about my spiritual practice or that I had already had a career in the music business. I learned so much at Lucky’s! I can’t even tell you.

Believing in yourself can change almost any circumstance. Things unbeknownst to you can change your life. I transformed my life literally by giving my love every day and walking without judgment.

Sunni continued at Lucky’s for a year, after which she got the clear message that it was time to quit. Furthermore, on December 13 she had an amazing experience she readily describes as a visitation from two angels. These beings communicated to her that her task was to start an angel store. The next morning Sunni’s mother called her at 6:30 A.M. She had had a dream that Sunni was going to start a new business, and that she, her mother, was supposed to help her.

"I knew then that I was supposed to bring the intangible into the tangible world, but that’s all the specific direction I received. Then the coincidences started to happen. Helpful people started to show up. I moved with warp speed. My intuition would say, ‘Turn left,’ and I would, or ‘Go to this meeting,’ and I would meet the next crucial person. Living like this became my way of being. It was very clear. I knew I had to walk a living prayer. I literally started each day by asking, ‘What do I do first?’ I’d brush my teeth and then ask, ‘What next?’

"I was still bulimic at this time, and I began to listen to my inner voice. I learned to distinguish the rabid voice that said, ‘Eat, eat, eat,’ which also made me eat faster. By being able to feel the urgency of that voice, I could then choose to eat slower. The voice that told me I was fat didn’t match the slower pace of eating. I started hearing another voice that said, ‘It’s okay to nourish your body.’ Gradually, learning to listen to the intuitive voice brought me back to health.

"During this two-year period of transformation, everything came about from paying attention to and following my intuition. Everything flowed. For example, I needed a corporate office for the gallery, and I really wanted it to be next door, but there was nothing available. I prayed for a space. A couple of days later, there was a For Lease sign on the building next door. The travel agent who had been there for seven years had decided to close her business. I couldn’t believe my eyes! Even so, I thought, ‘Oh, I’ll never be able to get it.’ But we did. Guess what? The suite address was A—for angel!

I’ve learned that when I start forgetting about the invisible world, I just remember I am only human and be gentle with myself. When I fall down, all I have to do is get back up.

I asked Sunni to describe some specifics about her journey to fulfill her life purpose:

CA: Do you think you could have done the spiritual humility practice you did at Lucky’s if you had stayed at the job you had in the music business?

ST: No. My music-promoting job represented the status quo. Working in that business forced me to define myself by external image and external success. Everything there is based on How do you look? Who do you know? I didn’t feel I could be me there. In fact I was asked to tone down my enthusiasm because it caused jealousy among my colleagues. I had to do whatever I could to get a record played, and every interaction was competitive. It felt like everyone was stealing energy from each other.

You’re told, Don’t process your feelings here. Don’t take no for an answer, and keep a stiff upper lip. Wear the shortest skirts possible and be able to dance on tables. You don’t really care about others. You’re always competing. I am open by nature, but when you’re trying to adapt to an environment that is foreign to your nature, you feel conflict. I was walking around in fear of losing my job. This also caused me to continue my bulimia. Too much depended on working for the artists and the bottom line. I never found the time to do my spiritual work. But working in the subservient position of being a bagger at Lucky’s, I had a whole lot of time to think! It wasn’t mentally demanding.

CA: Can you tell me how you feel different now?

ST: In my marketing jobs I was in a constant state of envy and jealousy, both feeling it and receiving it. I felt my spirit was clipped. Now I have more female friends. I feel it’s okay to be who I am. I remind myself now that what other people think of me is none of my business. When you worry about what people think about you, you allow them to take your energy. I’ve let go of a lot of people who drain me. Going within is where I go now for answers.

Before, I believed I was important if I had the right man, the right home, the