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    Notebook
    Notebook
    Notebook
    Ebook89 pages1 hour

    Notebook

    By T.Charles Rampedi

    ()

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    About this ebook

    What is love?

    And how can you find it?

    Help is needed for the author to understand love, as every short he takes to find love seems to be deflected, the mind still under the shades of loneliness and the heart with a deep dark void, names carved on his heart like an art gallery while one is carved in his souls heart. Is it obsession or love, for no matter how much he tried to forget her, to move on, shes carved herself. Help the author understand the wrongs and right, and most of all feelings.

    For its believed that love wants to make him watch it, while it gives itself to others but never him

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherT.Charles Rampedi
    Release dateJul 14, 2024
    ISBN9798227153210
    Notebook

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      Book preview

      Notebook - T.Charles Rampedi

      All the names were changed to protect one's identity

      I don't know if I'm supposed to be greeting you or what, nor am I valid enough to know what I'm going to write inside here. Maybe my notes or lyrics I don't know, but what I can say is that these days I lost all feelings to the hobbies that made me happy, I'm just numb now. But I think I'll start writing my thoughts in this book because there's nothing much going on in my life. Still lonely but sometimes I feel happy that I am, sometimes not. So, my thoughts for today seem to be blank, but one thing that I can tell you is that I'm not happy nor joyfully sad, and it's technically not boredom, trust me I can do better by myself, there’s no need to get bored when you are me. But yah, daily thoughts will be written or stated when things turn to be sideways.

      Before I go further, I guess I must introduce myself since this is the first of... I don't know how many will be there, but this is my first. The name is Dimpho, male, currently 20 years of age. Believe it, a guy in his 20s writing in a journal, or as some may call it, Dear Diary is weird.

      Technically it is but honestly writing helps me explain or communicate more than I usually can verbally do so. I express myself through writing, that's why I got into music, poetry and some art and crafty things which girls find weird, cause guys don't do that. But I really don't, like I said, I don't find those hobbies of rapping, writing poems, drawing etc., very interesting, and it's not because I'm maturing or whatever it may be called.

      So, I'm the lonely creepy guy in the stories or movies that everybody hates up until the end, when that person is gone, and they realize that the reasons why he did these things are sad. Okay I'm not that creepy I think, but yah, I'm lonely, I've got no friends, my social media platforms where I'm supposed to make friends are filled with people, but I talk to none cause unfortunately, I'm boring or not interesting, words used by them. Thats why I don't play much on social media, I was also told to go out more, socialize physically so, in person, but I'm not a fan of crowded places, I prefer silence, peace and fresh air instead of pubs, clubs, and events.

      It's not my fault because believe me I tried to change or tried to step in the lane of being a normal human being, but like they said in high school I'm an alien. The thing about calling myself creepy, I don't call myself that, but I'm classified as a creep according to the people, it's because I can't talk to a person without knowing that person. In other words I can or I am able to read peoples personalities, like the type of person you are, what offends you, what are your insecurities and etc. by just analyzing you I can read you, and it's not a thing whereby I had to read a book written by the greatest minds, NO, it's just something that occurred naturally.

      Unfortunately, it's not something that I want but I have no option in having it or not. Maybe that's because I grew up alone instead of filling my head with hide-and-seek games, no offence. Guess what? Again, based on the internet I'm an overthinker, and it's not like I'm just saying these things because I like them or maybe I want to be them. My personality, to me is unexplainable, but the things that I do relate to what they are saying, it's like bumping into an article on the internet and you turn to read it just to find out that that article is talking about you. For me sometimes when I find those stuff I turn to tear or tears start dropping from my face, not because I'm weird, I don't cry, I'm not a crybaby, I am a MAN. But it's just weird when you bump into something, and it perfectly describes you with all the small details in it. If you're like me and have no one who knows you like that, and you bump into that, it's awesome.

      So, to sum me up, this is me, the ugly, low self-esteem, weird, overthinker, lonely, a little bit stupid, depressed guy with dreams only to rely on to enjoy life, unable to communicate with strangers.

      I believe that's me, but not to overlook some of the things, the two people who I'm currently talking to at the moment are Memo who is a friend, but we partially talk much, cause she's got friends of her own, as a girl and SpongeBob my situationship for the past three years, yes I had to point that out I guess. While still on that note of the things that end up with -tionship, my past relationships weren't actually a success. I like identifying them as a moment of friendship, even though me and those people were dating. I haven't been in a relationship in the past five years ago, and before those certain years I dated only three girls. In my life, I only dated them, and they all broke up with me cause unfortunately, I wasn't able to say those three magical words to their face nor even be able to express my feelings through talking.

      Before you get mad, or say I'm like every guy, and use that bad language you're thinking of in your head, no, I did not date them all at once. You start dating one person, they break you and you move on. It was like that.

      So I got heartbroken,

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