Legacy Living: Live it, Love it, Leave it: How to Impact Future Generations
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Legacy Living - Tante Williams
Intro
You were created to leave a mark on this world. What mark you leave is up to you.
The day you were born, you came out of your mother’s womb clothed in purpose, the beginning threads of your legacy. Your purpose clung to you when you uttered your first words; it held on to you when you took your first steps and stuck to you like glue as you toddled through your early years. It didn’t matter how easy or difficult your childhood was; your purpose was there, layering your experiences like scaffolding to build you up to reach your legacy.
Why you are here goes hand in hand with what you will leave because wherever your purpose pulls you, your legacy will follow.
My family roots are proudly grounded in heroic determination, historic firsts, and highlights of corporate and athletic success. It is also steeped in alcoholism, drugs, and perversive addictions. I have a choice of which legacy I will continue to carry from my family’s lineage, which I will sever from family ties, and which to pass on to my step-children, nieces, nephews, and other youngsters in my community.
My ancestors were brought here to build a powerful land off their backs, creating a civilization that provided only marginal room for people of color. I am here to increase that space in which people of color operate and widen the door of opportunities for future generations of all people.
If you have not thought about what you’re leaving this world, it is time to start. The life you are living right now determines the legacy you will leave. Positive legacies don’t just happen by accident; they are planned, executed, lived, shaped, communicated, sharpened, experienced, manifested, and polished.
You are never too young or old to start thinking about how you will bless others. As long as you have breath, you have an opportunity to leave a positive mark.
When I ask people to give me an example of a strong legacy, they often speak of President Abraham Lincoln, credited with freeing the slaves, Martin Luther King Jr., who successfully rallied against inequality, or Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall, who successfully argued Brown v. Board of Education. While those legacies are definitely powerful, these popular icons didn’t get there without lesser-known legacies building them up.
You don’t need to have your name plastered in lights or negotiate some momentous multi-million deal to leave a legacy that can positively impact generations. All you need is a plan and a generous heart to contribute your time, gifts, and resources. The earlier you start on your journey, the more time you have to make an impact. There is no better time than today to start.
In the following pages, you will discover how building out your legacy can elevate your joy and happiness as well as provide a sense of belonging and self-worth. You will see how some legacies were born and how they have improved lives. We will test the strength of your legacy knowledge and provide keys to ensuring your heirs gain a positive gift they can build on generation after generation. You will also lay the foundation for creating your own legacy. If you have already started, there are tools to advance your chosen plan.
Turn the page to open the door to living your legacy life now.
Part 1
Legacies
If you’re going to live, leave a legacy. Make a mark on the world that can’t be erased.
—Maya Angelou, American poet
Chapter 1:
Autopilot
Many of us allow our family cycles to operate on autopilot. From generation to generation, we flow with the familial current that what happened to our parents happens to us and will probably happen to our children because that’s how it’s been and how we expect it to be. But if those rotations are unhealthy or need a tune-up, it’s up to us to make the change. There is a process to disrupt destructive patterns or behaviors and set a fresh, new course for our future and generations beyond. The keys lie within us. Let’s unlock them together.
Before I dive into this legacy journey, I would like to give you a glimpse into who I am, how I intentionally broke family cycles, and why a positive legacy is such a vital mission for me. Growing up in a blended family in Houston, Texas, I looked slightly different than my four siblings. As a mocha-colored African American girl with hazel eyes (inherited from my mother’s side of the family), my tightly curled hair (some would call it nappy) did not match anyone else’s in my immediate family. Since my mother and father have relaxed curls, I guessed I inherited my locks from my great-great-grandparents who worked the Mississippi lands shipped here from Africa. I got teased throughout my childhood about my cat eyes
and, of course, my hair. My toenails curled up at the end of the nail and were itty bitty, according to laughing ladies at the nail salon. They looked just like many of my aunts and cousins, who assured me my feet were petite and beautiful.
Like the physical features I inherited from my ancestors, I received tangible and not tangible gifts from my family, too. I have rights to a piece of heir
property in northern Louisiana that my mother’s grandparents bought back in the early 1900s. It’s called heir
property because the land is passed down from generation to generation without a designated owner. Legally, it’s owned by the whole family. Everyone from my great-grandparents’ lineage, like my grandmother, her nine siblings, and their bloodline, as well as my grandmother’s twelve children and their bloodline, have rights to the property.
Soon after my great-grandparents secured the 200–plus acreage, they had to give up the mineral rights. As the story goes, one of my great-uncles got in legal trouble, and the family was forced to give up mineral rights to keep him out of jail and keep their land intact. My maternal grandparents (mostly my grandmother, Ola) raised 12 children on that farmland, and their children produced 44 grandchildren. Now, the descendants and heirs to the property number more than 100. Many hands far and wide around the broad span of the United States touch the Spivey family deed. While the sprawling land is there for any family member to enjoy, making permanent decisions for the plot is impossible. No individual can legally put a permanent home there without fear of it being contested by other family members. And, since no one person is responsible for paying the property taxes, only a few people pick up the bill so the inheritance won’t be lost.
Both sets of my grandparents on my mother’s and father’s sides were Christian and loyal to their church. My grandparents and parents cemented the importance of faith into my belief system, and I have picked up that baton to pass on the teachings and promises of the Word of God to my family and community.
My father and mother had tremendous work ethics before they retired, allowing them to achieve middle class as young adults. Both grew up in rural towns on working farms, setting the foundation of how they viewed labor. My parents had full-time jobs during my formative years—my father in a steel mill and my mother at an oil company. They were devoted church leaders who believed the whole family should go to church almost every day: Sunday school, Sunday morning service, Sunday evening service, Wednesday night prayer meetings, Vacation Bible School … you get the picture.
However, with all the good intentions and parental examples, our blended family was not the ideal melting pot. My dad was married before he met my mom and conceived four beautiful children: my step-sister and three step-brothers. The merging of the three older kids with my little brother and myself was not as easy or peaceful as my parents had hoped. There was always some sort of disturbance at our home. Perceptions of unfairness, unequal love, and uneven wealth distribution kept us fractured. Unfortunately, these cracks continue to deepen today. My people have experienced the traumas of drugs, alcohol, and sexual addiction. We have survived prison, suicide, and physical abuse. We could write a Lifetime movie! I will not expose much of my family drama as it’s unfair to other family members. But now you can see why I’m driven to leave a certain type of legacy for my immediate family and be an example to households worldwide. Family legacies are so powerful they can affect you in a good or bad way for your whole life. I am determined not to allow my past to dictate my present or my future.
Today, I am married for the second and final time with my own blended family. My husband had three lovely daughters before we met. While my first marriage did not yield any offspring, the privilege of helping to raise my bonus daughters has provided all the motherly feels
I desire. I love them dearly as if they were my own, and they look to me as a mother figure. My life is an example to them. While the girls have strong relationships with their biological father and mother, I realize my job is just as important as an extension of the family leadership team. I have happily invested my time, resources, and money into the girls’ lives to ensure they understand family is love, no matter how the bond was formed.
This is a lesson I learned growing up in a merged household. It is a principle passed down to me from my mother. I sculpted it in my own way and passed it down to my stepdaughters. Strong family roots are not just tied to blood; they grow where the seeds are planted, tilled, and fertilized. Healthy family trees are so important to a successful life—the responsibilities cannot be taken lightly. Autopilot has no place here. Our responsibility is to lean into our habits and behaviors and adjust them if they are unproductive.
Your family is the perfect place to begin your strong legacy, as it sets the foundation for giving. As children, we learn the basic principles of giving by sharing our toys, candy, playtime, and other coveted items with close relatives and little