The Life of Jayandra

Be The Voice

Suicide Prevention and Awareness

The Life of Jayandra

The Life of Jayandra

Kelly Markey

Markey Writing Academy

Contents

Dedication

Important Contacts

Tributes to Jayandra

Kudos for the Book: Life of Jayandra

Foreword

Preface

Introduction

1 Heart to Heart Connection

2 Unravelling the Complexity

3 Human Welfare

4 Listening to the Silent Cry

5 Suicide Statistics: Let us Change the Narrative

6 The Kernel of Life

7 Suicide Prevention in the Technology Age

8 Residues Before and After Suicide

9 Concepts to Transform Your Life

10 What Good Can Spark?

11 Grief and Trauma

12 Afterlife and Consciousness

13 Conclusion

14 Tool 1. Tools to Navigate to a Better Season

15 Tool 2. Building Emotional Resilience and Intelligence

16 Tool 3. Living YOUR Mission

17 Tool 4. Anxiety Versus Stress

18 Tool 5. The Optimism Gallery

19 Tool 6. Mandatory Reporting

20 Tool 7. The Dos and Don’ts of Suicide

21 Tool 8. Risk Assessment

22 Tool 9. Stop, Start and Continue Matrix

23 Tool 10. Prayer Pathway

24 Acknowledgements

25 About the Author

26 Other Books by Kelly Markey

27 What Readers Are Saying About Kelly Markey’s Books

28 Magazine Appearances

29 Markey Writing Academy

30 Work with Kelly Markey

31 Featured On These Top Platforms

32 This Book Gives Hope

References

About The Author

Copyright © 2024 by Kelly Markey

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

First Printing, 2024

Important Contacts

It is essential to approach the topic of suicide with sensitivity and care. If you or a loved one is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please seek professional help immediately. Reach out to a helpline, a mental health professional, a trusted person in your life, or individuals with lived experiences.

This book aims to create awareness, provide support, and promote compassion and understanding of suicide; however, it should not be considered a substitute for professional advice or intervention. Seek professional help.

Australian support organisations - contact list:

If someone’s life is in danger or there is an immediate risk of harm, call emergency services at 000.

13YARN

13YARN is an Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander crisis support line funded by the Australian government with the support of Lifeline and developed in collaboration with Gayaa Dhuwi (Proud Spirit) Australia.

13yarn.org.au

Contact Number (24/7) 13 92 76

1800RESPECT

1800RESPECT is the national sexual assault, domestic, and family violence counselling service.

1800respect.org.au

Contact Number (24/7) 1800 73 77 32

Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue provides information and support to help everyone in Australia achieve the best possible mental health, whatever their age and wherever they live.

beyondblue.org.au

Contact Number (24/7) 1300 224 636

Lifeline

Lifeline is the national charity providing all Australians experiencing emotional distress with access to 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention services.

Lifeline.org.au

Contact Number (24/7) 13 11 14

No To Violence

Counselling for men who have anger, relationship, or parenting issues.

ntv.org.au

Contact Number (24/7) 1300 766 491

Qlife

QLife provides Australia-wide anonymous, LGBTIQ+ peer support and referral for people wanting to talk about a range of issues, including sexuality, identity, gender, bodies, feelings, or relationships.

qlife.org.au

Contact Number (24/7) 1800 184 527

Suicide Call Back Service

Counselling for suicide prevention and mental health via telephone, online, and video for anyone affected by suicide doors.

suicidecallbackservice.org.au

Contact Number (24/7) 1300 659 467

South African support organisations – contact list:

South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG)

Helpline: 0800 567 567

Website: www.sadag.org

Lifeline South Africa

Helpline: 0861 322 322 (24/7)

Website: www.lifelinesa.co.za

Suicide Crisis Helpline

(Cipla 24hr Mental Health Helpline)

Helpline: 0800 456 789 (24/7)

Website: www.cipla24.co.za

Please get in touch with these helplines or seek assistance from mental health professionals who can provide the support and guidance you or your loved ones need. Remember, you are not alone; some people care and want to help.

Tributes to Jayandra

My loving son, as I sit here to pen down these words, my heart overflows with love and sorrow. You came into this world, bringing a joy that touched everyone around you. You were a beacon of light, a soul so pure, intelligent, and gentle, and you brought happiness to all who knew you. Your smile could brighten the darkest days, and your laughter echoed like a melody in our hearts. As you grew, you showed us what it meant to be compassionate and caring. You had an uncanny ability to understand others’ feelings and offer comfort without hesitation. Your kindness and generosity knew no bounds, and you taught me the true meaning of selflessness. Your unreserved love for all the children in the neighbourhood—buying them chips and sweets— has left a massive gap in many hearts. Jayandra, you will never be forgotten. Your legacy of love and kindness will continue to ripple through the lives of those you touched. Rest now, my precious son, in eternal peace. Until we meet again, know that you will always be cherished, loved, and missed.

Jaimathee Ramlucken: Mum, Mandeni, South Africa.

Seconds turned into years of happiness, sadness, joy, laughter, pain, and sorrow. The memories my family and I shared with you will always be a privilege, and I will forever cherish every moment. The love, compassion, and care you bestowed on my children never went unnoticed, and I salute you for loving them unconditionally. You will always be remembered and loved fondly.

Aruna Ramlucken: Aunty, Pietermaritzburg, South Africa.

My loving nephew, Jayandra, had a heart of gold. You had an amazing helping hand, even though your hand was disabled. You invited us for your 50th birthday, but instead, it was your funeral. You left without saying goodbye, and we never really got to celebrate you. I will forever remember all the good old memories. You are now in wholesome hands, and we pray that you watch over and protect us, especially your mum, who mourns you every day. I love you, stacks. Rest in peace, until we meet again.

Rajesh Ramlucken: Uncle, Richards Bay, South Africa.

As I sit here, overwhelmed with grief, I find solace in the cherished memories we shared. You were not just a brother to me; you were a confidant, a friend, and a guiding light in my life. Your untimely departure has left an emptiness in my heart that words can scarcely describe. From the moment we were born, our lives were intertwined, and we grew up together, sharing laughter, secrets, and dreams. You had a unique way of brightening every room you entered, and your infectious laughter could lift the heaviest of hearts. Your vibrant spirit and warm smile drew people to you like moths to a flame. You were an adventurer at heart, always seeking new experiences and embracing life’s challenges enthusiastically. Your determination and courage inspired us all, reminding us to face our obstacles with a brave spirit. The memories we created together are etched in my mind and soul forever. From our first game to our memories and the countless moments we shared as a family - each memory is a treasure I hold close to my heart. My love for you will always burn bright.

Ishwar Rampershad: Brother, Mandeni, South Africa.

To my nephew, Jayandra: We must accept that you are forever gone, but we will keep you alive in our hearts and homes. Your loss has hit us all so hard. I knew you to be such a compassionate, loving and humble person. You always looked out for others first. My sons and husband will miss the fishing trips, and we will forever cherish our time with you. Your kindness and generosity were much appreciated by all. The beautiful memories you left behind will never fade away. You left without saying goodbye. I will miss you being around, and I hope you are at peace now and know I will see you again - love, your aunt, forever and always.

Sharm Duwarka: Aunty, Richards Bay, South Africa.

To my cousin, brother, Jayandra: death leaves a heartache no one can heal, and love leaves a memory no one can steal. I still cannot bear the reality that you are no longer with us. Thank you for the unforgettable memories that we shared. Your visits to my home will forever be cherished. You brought so much joy and happiness to my younger daughter. You were the first cousin that my little one had a bond with. You had a heart that cared completely and a smile that brought so much pleasure. Your humbleness and kindness will live forever in our hearts. You are gone but never forgotten. Rest in peace. Until we meet again, lots of love.

Vash Ramiah: Cousin, Empangeni, South Africa.

You had a passion for life that was infectious. Your enthusiasm for your interests and hobbies was contagious, inspiring others to follow their passions with the same fervour. Your absence leaves a void that cannot be filled, but your spirit will forever live on in the hearts of those you touched. Though your time with us was cut short, your impact will resonate for eternity. You have left an indelible mark on my life, and I promise to honour your memory by carrying forth the lessons you taught me—to love fiercely, to cherish every moment, to give selflessly to others, and to be an authentic friend regardless of circumstances.

David Juste: Friend, Mauritius.

Your passing has left an emptiness that words can never fully express. Yet, amidst the grief, I am grateful for our time together. You enriched my life beyond measure, and I am blessed to call you, my brother. Though you are no longer physically present, your spirit lives on within each of us who love you. You will forever be the guiding star that leads us through the darkest nights, and your memory will fuel our strength in times of weakness.

Shammy Rampershad: Sister, Mandeni, South Africa.

The first time I met Jay, I was blown away by how much of an easy-going guy he was, and because of this, there was an instant connection between us. We only spent a few days together each time, but we got on like a house on fire. I would say if we lived in the same location, then we would have been best friends. I am one hundred per cent sure of this. It was amazing to meet another person I did not spend that much time with but had a connection with. Jay made me feel like I had known him forever. Rest in peace, Jay, and we will catch up again, my brother.

Simon James: Friend, Queensland, Australia.

As I bid you farewell, I find comfort in knowing that you are at peace, watching over us from above. Until we meet again, dear friend, rest easy in the embrace of eternity. You will always be loved, remembered, and deeply missed. You created an impression I will forever carry in my heart: you showed up for life even in the difficult seasons. I am sorry that the load got so heavy for you eventually. Love forever.

Kenny Juste: Friend, Netherlands.

I remember when I first met Jay back in 2016, we got on instantly. He was a great bloke who did not talk much but was always a great company and a genuinely good guy. We hung out quite a bit when he was in Australia, and we always shared a laugh and a few beers. It was great to meet someone from halfway across the world and feel akin to him. He will be sorely missed. We are all saddened, and those who knew him will never forget him.

Ross Haydon: Friend, Sydney, Australia.

Jayandra, you were a source of inspiration to all who knew you. Your relentless determination and unwavering optimism taught me that no challenge was insurmountable and that the power of hope could overcome any adversity. You faced life with courage and grace, even in the darkest times. Your compassion knew no bounds. I witnessed countless acts of kindness as you selflessly helped those in need without seeking recognition or reward. Your generosity touched the lives of so many, and your impact on this world is immeasurable. Even though physical distance rarely united us, I grew up to realise that you had a beautiful name and were a gem. I recall family gatherings and sleepovers where you remained humble and polite regardless of intoxication. You were extremely responsible and helpful. Even with your disabled hand, you ensured everything was cleaned and packed before and after our braai or gathering. I recall your compassion for my welfare to keep warm in the winter. As cousins, we shared a bond that extended beyond blood. We were partners in mischief and adventure, creating memories I will forever hold dear. Our late-night talks about life, love, and everything in between were moments of genuine connection that I will always treasure.

Aruna Roopanand: Cousin, Port Shepstone, South Africa.

My dearest friend, Jayandra, I can still hear your voice. At first, it brought sorrow, and then it brought anger. These feelings emerged from a cohort of people who should have cared for you but did not. My dearest friend Jayandra, I can still hear your expression; it brings joy and cheers because that is who you are. I will never forget your role for my grandchildren, husband, and myself. My dearest friend Jayandra, I can still hear your declaration, and it now echoes in concert with a million other voices. Encouraging us all to speak up about human welfare and not allow others to bully people into suicide with any candour.

Peggy Imbrailo: Neighbour / Friend, Mandeni, South Africa.

I briefly knew Jayandra; it was enough to know his heart was one of genuineness and tenderness. He was easy to get to know, with only a precious few of whom undertook the effort to do so. He truly knew the value of the gifts given to him. He had modest means and modest needs. A meaningful conversation was enough to brighten his whole day. I enjoyed our time together fishing, talking of past tales, past catches, and ones that got away. He had great knowledge of this, his favourite pass-time, and was eager to pass his knowledge on to whoever was interested. He was a patient and good instructor. May your soul rest in peace, dear Jayandra. You are and will always be missed by those you have touched profoundly. Many cared for you more than you ever knew.

Dave Markey: Brother-in-Law, Sydney, Australia.

Sometimes, we wander from place to place in quest for a diamond, but it is right in the palm of your hand. Look closer, love better, and listen more. Jayandra was the gem that we let slip away. He adjusted his life to be absent rather than changing his boundaries to accommodate disrespect.

Kelly Markey: Sister, Sydney, Australia.

Never lost

Have you ever lost someone that you love?

Just hoped they were looking down from above?

Have you ever asked them for a little sign?

A symbol, a picture, any song or rhyme?

Have you ever closed your eyes and imagined them here?

Then opened them and felt them to be near?

Have you ever cried tears that they could not see?

But hoped that they‘d know it’s with them you’d rather be?

Have you ever lost someone that you love?

Just hoped they could see your smile from above?

Knowing that they are in your heart

Because it’s in your memories that you are never apart.

Poem by Jacqueline Wright, Poet, Sydney, Australia.

Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness. - Alejandro Jodorowsky.

Kudos for the Book: Life of Jayandra

In The Life of Jayandra, author Kelly explores the human spirit’s resilience in the face of the unimaginable. From the lens of a devoted sister who lost her brother to the profound darkness of suicide, this book not only unravels the deeply personal experience of grief but also emerges as a vital guide for those navigating the complex labyrinth of emotions after such a loss.

As a mental health social worker, I find this book to be an invaluable resource for individuals grappling with the aftermath of suicide. The author skillfully weaves her narrative with a profound understanding of the multifaceted aspects of mental health, creating a tapestry that resonates with authenticity and empathy. The Life of Jayandra is not merely a chronicle of pain but a testament to the power of resilience and the human capacity to find hope amidst the darkest moments.

One of the commendable aspects of this book is its ability to serve as a wellspring of soothing resources for those who have lost a loved one to suicide and those who are grappling with suicidal thoughts. From the author’s raw and honest reflections on her journey to coping mechanisms and support networks, readers are gently guided through the healing process. In a world where mental health is often stigmatized, this book bravely opens the door to conversations that are essential for fostering understanding and empathy.

The author’s exploration of the importance of looking after one’s mental health is a beacon of wisdom in a society that often neglects this critical aspect of well-being. Through the lens of personal tragedy, she advocates for a compassionate and open dialogue surrounding mental health issues. This book is a powerful reminder that we must prioritize our mental well-being and foster environments that encourage seeking help without judgement.

Above all, The Life of Jayandra encourages readers to live with hope. It is a testament to the strength of embracing vulnerability and seeking support. As a mental health professional, I appreciate the author’s nuanced approach in highlighting the importance of understanding, acceptance, and the transformative power of hope in the face of despair.

In conclusion, The Life of Jayandra is a remarkable literary contribution that transcends the boundaries of grief, offering solace and guidance to those who have lost a loved one to suicide and those contemplating suicide. It is a call to action for society to prioritize mental health and create spaces where individuals can find understanding, support, and, most importantly, hope. This book stands as a beacon of light, reminding us all that even in the darkest moments, there is the potential for healing and renewal.

Azita Abdollahian

Clinical Mental Health Social Work, Sydney, Australia.

When a loved one commits suicide, it is never an easy conversation to have. There are always so many questions left unsaid, so much grief, a void, a hole, shame, and so many different emotions one goes through, and yet so many have had to endure this tragedy one way or another and still find it hard to discuss. The Life of Jayandra - A Narrative That Transcends Beyond the Shadows of Suicide is a heroic personal guide from Markey that allows readers to be vulnerable enough to feel and deal with the devastating effects suicide brings with it. Markey created this book so eloquently and compassionately and allows a safe space for the reader where it is OK not to be OK. This book is undoubtedly a resilient guide for anyone seeking healing, education, understanding, and help. It is such an essential piece for all of humanity, no matter where you are in this world, because suicide does not discriminate, and you never know when you may be able to prevent it and save a life. Thank you, Mrs. Markey, for this brilliant, courageous book, and may God bless you always.

Stephanie Cirami

President, The International Association of Top Professionals,

New York, United States of America.

The Life of Jayandra: A Narrative That Transcends Beyond the Shadows of Suicide is a masterpiece of empathy, education, and empowerment. Markey’s compassionate approach and unwavering commitment to this critical topic will undoubtedly leave an indelible mark on human welfare. This book is an indispensable resource for anyone seeking to understand, prevent, and ultimately overcome the devastating impact of suicide.

Suicide Prevention, Australia.

This book, The Life of Jayandra, bridges the darkness of despair and the light of resilience, guiding readers towards a place of strength and renewed purpose.