Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    From $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Be Yourself Happiness Surrounds You
    Be Yourself Happiness Surrounds You
    Be Yourself Happiness Surrounds You
    Ebook188 pages1 hour

    Be Yourself Happiness Surrounds You

    By Jessie N. Swartz

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Are you tired of the negative energy surrounding your daily life?

    Negativity can come in all shapes and sizes and from any element of your life, including your work or social life.

    But you don't

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJessie N. Swartz
    Release dateJul 3, 2023
    ISBN9781088206355
    Be Yourself Happiness Surrounds You

    Related to Be Yourself Happiness Surrounds You

    Related ebooks

    Self-Improvement For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • UNLIMITED

      The Trauma Checklist

      Feb 15, 2022

      The Trauma Checklist
      2 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      DROP THE baggage

      Jul 5, 2022

      DROP THE baggage
      5 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      On The Plus Side

      Feb 5, 2022

      On The Plus Side
      5 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Rewriting the Narrative

      Aug 28, 2023

      Rewriting the Narrative
      4 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      The Compassion Cure

      Oct 10, 2018

      The Compassion Cure
      7 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Your Dilemmas…

      Jul 30, 2020

      Cathy Wassell is a business coach and owner of Socially Contented. She’s also an autism advocate and the founder of Teen Calm, a subscription box for anxious teens (teencalm.co.uk). Q Can a relationship ever work if our parents don’t get on? Our sepa

      3 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      The Truth Within

      Oct 10, 2018

      The Truth Within
      8 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      The B WORD

      Dec 15, 2023

      The B WORD
      6 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      A Dual Role

      Sep 6, 2019

      A Dual Role
      3 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Great Expectations

      Aug 8, 2018

      Words NIKKI DAVIES Expectations lead you to each moment, interaction, action, judgement and emotion of your life. Whether they are high or low, your expectations are predictions of what it is you think or hope is going to happen. They can set you up

      7 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Diy Self-Esteem Booster Kit

      Mar 14, 2024

      Diy Self-Esteem Booster Kit
      2 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Q&A

      Oct 27, 2023

      We are delighted to welcome our new agony aunt, Dr Martha Deiros Collado. She is a psychologist with more than 20 years of clinical and academic experience, and is the author of How To Be The Grown-Up (Transworld, £16.99) Got a question for Dr Marth

      4 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Positive Vibes

      Jun 16, 2022

      Positive Vibes
      4 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Life Post-lockdown

      May 18, 2020

      Life Post-lockdown
      5 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Q & A

      Sep 1, 2023

      Q Before summer, my child started faking being ill before school, and I’m worried it’s going to start again now. He cries and complains of tummy aches and pains in his legs, and it feels wrong to force him to go to school. But, equally, I don’t beli

      3 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Play To Your Own Strengths!

      Apr 5, 2018

      Play To Your Own Strengths!
      6 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Your Dilemmas…

      Jun 25, 2020

      Cathy Wassell is a business coach and owner of Socially Contented. She’s also an autism advocate and the founder of Teen Calm, a subscription box for anxious teens (teencalm.co.uk). Q My boyfriend does nothing around the house. I used to like looking

      3 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Your Dilemmas…

      Jan 12, 2023

      Fiona Yassin is the founder and clinical director at The Wave Clinic and a specialist in trauma treatment, eating disorders, mental health and addiction treatment for teenagers and families. (thewaveclinic.com) Q My son is at the age where he is goin

      3 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Are You A SUPER HELPER?

      May 11, 2023

      Are You A SUPER HELPER?
      2 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Be Yourself Happiness Surrounds You

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Be Yourself Happiness Surrounds You - Jessie N. Swartz

      Introduction

      Greetings

      I’m going to make everything around me beautiful—that will be my life.

      –Elsie De Wolfe

      What comes to mind when you think of negativity and toxic relationships? Usually, when you think of negativity and unhealthy relationships, physical and emotional abuse comes to mind, and iti s generally at the hands of a partner. But negativity and toxic relationships can come in all shapes and sizes and are not necessarily from a partner. For example, abuse from coworkers, bosses, and friends can leave you feeling mentally and emotionally drained. Still, it’s possible you may not have even realized it, especially if it’s something we grew up around.

      I want you to think back for a moment about your childhood. What memories pop up? Most people don’t realize that your childhood environment is the foundation of who you grow up to be later in adulthood. Everyone has a different childhood. Some grow up in a loving and nurturing family home. Others live in homes where they witness substance abuse and domestic violence. If you were in the latter, chances are you are facing struggles in your adult life and may find it hard to relate to others who did not grow up in a toxic situation. As a result, it can show up in other ways.

      In one of those ways, it may manifest in a toxic relationship with a partner. For example, if you had overprotective parents, you may end up in a relationship with someone who is controlling and has no issues with loudly expressing jealousy. If you had a parent who would lash out at the other parent, you might have seen your receiving parent brush it off. As a result, if you end up in a relationship with someone who is verbally abusive, you could brush it off, too, because, on the good days, they are really good days.

      There are so many ways that an unhealthy relationship impacts us. However, understanding our good and bad influences goes a long way for us. Understanding how childhood influences affect your emotions and decisions can help you navigate your life, especially one you want to improve, and see life from a new perspective when you come from a toxic environment. The first step is to recognize and come to terms with how your upbringing was. I want you to know right now that there is no shame or blame. Not every childhood is rosy. But I see you. I see you as the person who wants to shift because you don’t want those toxic influences to hold power over how you react to adverse situations.

      When you recognize you came from a toxic upbringing, it’s the first step to accepting it. You acknowledge that it wants to hold power over you and allow you to make excuses for your behaviors. But now it is time to let go of its hold on you. Processing everything can be challenging. In many cases, when we face scary moments in our lives, we tend to block them out. As a result, you may find that memories are resurfacing, and it can feel debilitating. Not every day will be easy, but as you learn to work through them, it will feel amazing knowing that you are not allowing your childhood upbringing to impact you from becoming your very best self.

      But how do you step forward to become your very best self? The first thing is recognizing the trauma and hurt from a toxic and hostile environment. These are some of the other signs you may have grown up in unhealthy family life (even if there wasn’t substance abuse and domestic violence).

      Unrealistic Expectations

      All families have expectations, and family members usually take on multiple roles to support each other. For example, it’s normal to help with laundry or empty the dishwasher nightly. Maybe on occasion, you had to watch a younger sibling after school. However, these tasks shouldn’t take away from your childhood, your ability to complete schoolwork, hang out with friends, or get a good night’s sleep.

      If you were raised in an unhealthy family setting, chances are you had to

      • provide most of the care for yourself and your siblings.

      • take on extra responsibilities such as cooking or completing difficult chores as a child.

      • provide emotional support to a parent or sibling even though you were a kid.

      Harsh Criticism

      Occasionally, our parents probably criticized us when our behavior was out of line. However, the remarks we receive should be constructive because that is how we learn from our mistakes or how we should behave in certain situations. Even outside of a family dynamic, friends and partners should be willing to provide constructive feedback to you that will help you grow. The comments should not have made you feel stupid, unwanted, or unloved.

      Lack of Support

      Not everyone is perfect. Maybe your parents forgot to pick you up from school after a sport or band practice, making you wait. Perhaps they forgot to buy groceries, so you didn’t have much for dinner that night. Supportive family members, especially parents, should be looking out for your needs by

      • taking care of you, ensuring you are healthy

      • giving you boundaries

      • ensuring you go to school

      • making sure you have clean clothes to wear

      • making sure you have food to eat

      • giving you affection and constructive criticism

      Without any of the above, it could suggest that your family dynamic was unhealthy.

      Lack of Love, Compassion, or Respect

      It’s normal when you argue with a family member or a sibling. However, despite feeling frustrated, you should still show love, respect, and kindness to one another.

      On the other hand, when there is a toxic family setting, you may have had a family member

      • belittle you

      • attack your character, leaving you feeling powerless

      Occasionally, your family may not agree with what you want to do or say, but you should have felt loved and supported as you tried to pave your pathway.

      Verbal, Physical, and Emotional Abuse

      No matter what type of abuse it is, it’s still toxic. Sometimes it is easy to recognize when it’s in the form of

      • nonconsensual touching and unwanted sex

      • sexual remarks about how your body looks

      • sexual gestures

      • name-calling

      • gaslighting

      In the heat of the moment, we may have thrown out nasty names we didn’t mean. But in a healthy relationship, you would apologize and express your frustrations calmly and rationally when you have had time to process your feelings. However, if the behavior continues afterward and there isn’t a resolution, you might be in a toxic relationship.

      No matter what level of unhealthy you face in your relationships, they can affect you significantly. Some of those can surface by

      • not knowing your sense of self

      • keeping people at arm’s length

      • walking on eggshells for fear of angering someone

      • constantly blaming yourself when things go wrong

      • perfectionism

      • blacking out parts of your childhood

      Coming to terms with what your life was like up until now can be debilitating, especially if you blacked out significant parts. You may have a wide range of thoughts and emotions now that you are beginning to realize what your childhood was like. Likewise, even if you had a great family life, you may have stumbled upon a toxic environment, and you’re only just realizing now it is time to heal.

      This is where you are now at a crossroads. Do you continue to invest your time in energy in those who drain it fast, or do you start to set boundaries and make hard decisions on whether you should cut ties with those who have hurt you? Many people believe that family is blood, and no matter what, you should remain civil regardless of the situation. However, on your path to healing, if cutting ties with the people who no longer serve you is what you need to do, know that it is okay to make those decisions.

      If it is family members you don’t necessarily want to cut ties with, set clear

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1