Get a Grip on Your Grammar: 250 Writing and Editing Reminders for the Curious or Confused

INTRODUCTION

Just like thinking before we speak, if we think before we write, the world can be a better place. Don’t you think?

Jobs are lost for typos on resumes. Friends lose respect for each other over social media posts. Feuds between neighbors begin over the placement of apostrophes on backyard grill invitations. Semicolons cry themselves to sleep at night because no one understands them. The ever-popular ellipsis has an ego the size of an asterisk. (Too far?)

Maybe it’s the fluid nature of the language; maybe we’ve never been taught; maybe we’ve just never cared. Whatever the source of our grammatical predicament, it’s time to roll up our sleeves, folks.

We’re not all poets or novelists, but we are all writers. We email; we text; we post on social media; we craft memos and reports, menus and outdoor signage, birthday cards and sticky notes on the fridge. Everyone needs reminders about proper English writing rules, and the answer to this dilemma isn’t as tedious as you might think. I’m not suggesting sentence diagramming parties or subject-verb agreement dating games. I get that the vocabulary of grammarians can be as intimidating as computer code: misplaced modifiers, subordinating conjunctions, appositives, comma splices, dependent clauses . . . (Hang on, dear readers! I didn’t mean to lose you in a single line!)

Personally, I like to keep things simple. Grammarian jargon isn’t necessary for comprehending correct language use. Sure, the English language is not always logical. There are words that are so gosh darn similar, it’s hard to remember which one is which—or a witch (cackle, cackle). There are hard rules and then a heck of a lot of exceptions. I get it. I truly do. That’s why I’ve written this book.

No matter where you go and what you do in your life, putting down words skillfully and correctly will take you further (note, not farther unless cars start running on language, which would be pretty cool, actually. Who can I get on that?).

Putting a disclaimer on emails from your smartphone is not enough. We owe it to ourselves and to everyone who sees our written words to get it right.

All right?

SECTION I

Word Usage

We live in a fast-paced time, but that’s no excuse for typing drunkenly across keyboards. Sometimes we know the rules and abandon them; sometimes, we err because we don’t know any better. Consider this your call-to-action. No more excuses. Use your words precisely. It’s my challenge to you.

What follows in this section is my list of 153 commonly confused words. I may not offer answers to the universe, but I can at least talk you through the differences between literally and figuratively, lay and lie, and disinterested and uninterested." Curious? Read on!

Writing Tip #1: A vs. An

This one seems so obvious. Why, you might ask, am I even taking the time to talk about something you clearly learned in 1st grade? Well, my friends, the English language is full of exceptions—and many of the a vs. an exceptions are overlooked time and time again.

When you see a horse with a long horn upon its head, is it a unicorn or an unicorn? When you make a mistake, do you call it an honest error or a honest error? First reactions may say that an is always the article used before words starting with vowels, and a is before words starting with consonants; however, here are those tricky exceptions I was talking about.

Stop thinking purely spelling with the a/an rule. Think about the sound. In most cases, if it sounds like it starts with a vowel, go with the an; otherwise, a is a likely bet.

You need to use an before an unsounded h, as in honest, hour, or honor. You need to use a before words that start with the letter u, in cases where the sound echoes a y, as in unicorn, union, and ukulele.

It’s a simple rule, but people confuse it all the time.

Writing Tip #2: Accept vs. Except

The English language is full of exceptions that we have to accept. Should we dub them acceptions (exceptions that you have to accept even when they annoy you)? Okay, maybe I made that up, and maybe it’s not as clever as it was in my head. Let’s stick to basics here. There is a clear difference between accept and except, and it’s more than just the first two letters.

• Accept (think acceptance) is a verb meaning to consent to receive something or to come to see something as suitable, valid, or right.

• Except (think exception) is a preposition meaning not including or other than, or it’s a verb meaning to exclude or to omit.

I’m pretty sure we know the difference and simply write too quickly sometimes. I’m pretty sure. That’s what I tell myself anyhow. You surely won’t make that mistake anymore, right?

Writing Tip #3: Adapt vs. Adopt

Adaptation and adoption are easy enough to tell apart, but when used in their verb forms, adapt and adopt often become quite confusing. Are you an early adapter or early adopter? Do you adapt to your surroundings by adopting a watch-out-world attitude?

For a quick refresher:

• Adapt means to modify or to make suitable for certain conditions.

• Adopt means to select or take as one’s own, be it an idea or a child.

Although they are indeed quite similar, they come from different Latin roots. Adapt comes from adaptare, which translates as to fit. Adopt comes from adoptare, which translates as to choose. The similarity of these words even in Latin makes me wonder how long people have been confused by them. Did Homer ever slip up? I’ll tell myself no, but the world never will know.

If you want to take this a step further, we can even discuss adept and apt, which are often jumbled in this confusing mix.

• Adept is an adjective meaning very skilled.

• Apt is an adjective meaning either being quick to learn, suited for a purpose, or to be likely to do something.

These A-P-T words will keep you on your toes, for sure.

As for those early adapters, they probably have set their alarm clocks a few hours ahead of you so that they can have time to spend in their workshop tweaking their inventions. Early adopters are the group who are first to embrace a new technology or idea.

Writing Tip #4: Addition vs. Edition

When a new edition of a book comes out, it might make for an addition to your bookshelves, but the meanings of these words shouldn’t be complicated for you. If you think of the word add, you’ll always use the correct word.

• Addition is only concerned with adding, whether referring to something being added or the process of adding.

• Edition has a few definitions. Bookworms like me automatically think of editions of a book or specifically updated versions, often with new or enhanced information; edition also means the format in which a work is published or a later version of something.

But, again, this one is simple. As long as you remember addition is all about adding, you’ll never go wrong again.

Writing Tip #5: Adverse vs. Averse

Sometimes a single letter pops up to wreak havoc, and in this case, it’s the letter d. Even if their definitions don’t immediately jump to your mind, you know deep down that adverse and averse are not positive words. Perhaps there’s something about them both that leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Maybe that’s why you never bothered to learn them or their differences.

All together now, let’s take a deep breath. There’s nothing wrong with learning these definitions correctly.

• Adverse means unfavorable, antagonistic, or being in a contrary direction. One of this word’s most common usages is adverse effects.

• Averse means to have strong feelings of repugnance or opposition.

I know a lot of people who are averse to using autocorrect on their smartphones because it ends up causing more typos than it saves. Then again, we could talk about the adverse effects of spell-check and auto-correct on a generation’s spelling abilities, and oh, the fun we would have. Yes, I said fun. What? Are you averse to this idea?

Writing Tip #6: Advice vs. Advise

Mark Twain once said, The dream vocabulary shaves meanings finer and closer than do the world’s daytime dictionaries. I love this concept, but then again, some people have nonsensical dreams. It’s in the dream vocabulary of these eccentric individuals that word pairings like adviser and advisor must take their roots.

What’s the difference between these two? That’s a great question. The answer: there is no difference. Don’t you hate that?

• Adviser is more commonly used and is listed in most dictionaries as the primary spelling.

• Advisor only takes the lead when it comes to official job titles (for example, Senior Advisor to the President).

Those of us who like black and white grammar rules will have to remain bothered. Though perhaps another quote attributed to Mark Twain sums it up best: I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. Admittedly, there’s a debate whether these words were Twain’s, Andrew Jackson’s, or someone else’s altogether. Whoever it was, though, is perhaps the best adviser of them all.

Writing Tip #7: Affect vs. Effect

Words that sound similar and look similar are kind of like twins. At first glance, they seem like duplicates, but in the end, a lot of people will be annoyed if you confuse them. Time to stop insulting words, people! Are you using affect and effect correctly?

• In most situations, affect is a verb with influence being a close synonym. For example, Quick communications online have affected people’s writing habits.

• In most situations, effect is a noun with result being a close synonym. For example, One effect of quick communications online is a proliferation of casual, incorrect writing.

When you affect something, there is an effect.

However, the English language is never that simple—if you even call this description simple. Affect and effect also have other forms, which add confusion. Nine times out of 10, though, follow this guide, and you’ll be all set.

Here’s where the inquisitive read on. More power to you, grammar-curious friends!

• Affect can also be a verb meaning to make a display of or to deliberately cultivate. In addition, affect can be a noun (egads!) used by psychiatrists and other social scientists referring to emotion, but unless you fall into a discipline familiar with this use, I wouldn’t recommend it.

• Effect has its own complications. It can be a noun of different meanings when discussing your personal effects or sound effects. Effect can also be defined as a verb meaning to create, such as in the sentence, Grammarians of the world effect change for the better.

Oh, and now I have you staring at word-twins again trying to figure out the difference. Remember the simple definitions first. Subtleties can come later for the brave and/or scientifically minded.

Writing Tip #8: Aisle vs. Isle

Maybe you’ve been asked what you’d take along with you to a desert isle. Maybe if they were confused about their spelling, they might have asked you about your choices for a dessert aisle. As for me, I think I’d choose dark chocolate. It answers both questions, really.

Remember:

• An isle is an island, sometimes considered to be a small island.

• An aisle is a walkway between sections of seats or shelves, such as in a plane, a church, a grocery store, or a movie theatre.

Their origins are as different as their definitions, with isle coming from the Latin insula and aisle coming from the Latin āla, so make sure your spelling is accurate—unless you’re grocery shopping with Gilligan, that is. The Professor and Mr. Howell might want to be precise, but if you’re a grocery shopping castaway, I think even I will give you some leniency.

Writing Tip #9: A Long vs. Along

When I think of a long tale, I can’t help but think of Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, where the Dormouse tells a story that is recorded on the page in the shape of a long tail. Sure, there’s another word confusion at the root of this reference, but it does indeed depict a long tale in the shape of a long tail, which runs along the page.

Note, as I’m explaining this to you, you have no trouble understanding that long is an adjective describing length, and that a is simply an article that precedes it. Then why is it that along and a long are so often confused?

Along, as you well know, is a preposition, meaning on the course of or over a path or specific direction.

While Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum were telling Alice about Walruses and Carpenters, for example, all Alice wanted to do was to continue along after the white rabbit. The cards who painted the roses red must have used a long ladder.

And as wild as that story is, I enjoy Alice every time. Don’t you?

Writing Tip #10: All Ready vs. Already

All right, already. Are you all ready to discuss the differences between these two words? Much like the eternal squishing of all right into alright, all ready is often forgotten in lieu of already. The problem is, though, that these are not alternate spellings of the same idea. All ready and already don’t honestly have much to do with each other.

• All ready is pretty self-explanatory if you take a moment to think about it. Are you a little bit ready, or are you all ready? Is just one of you ready, or are you all ready? Do you see the slight variations in these two sentences? In short, all ready can mean either totally prepared or that a group is prepared.

• Already, on the other hand, means before this moment or before another specific moment. You already knew this, though, didn’t you?

Squeezing all ready into already is not an acceptable contraction, so stop doing it already. Got it?

Writing Tip #11: Allude vs. Refer

Some people are direct in their conversation. Other people are more subtle. Some people will give you a list of exactly what they want for their birthday. Other people prefer to drop hints. When you think of allude and refer, think of these different types of people. It will help explain their differences.

Contrary to what you may think, to allude to something is different from referring to it.

• To allude means to hint or indirectly suggest to something.

• To refer means to make a direct reference to or point about something.

Refer is the friend who emails you a hyperlink to an item and a coupon code that expires in the next few days. There is no question about what he wants or how quickly you should act. Allude is a bit more circumspect. She might circle something in a catalog and leave it out where others can see or remark how great something is without directly saying she wants it. Whether refer is rude or straight-to-the-point or whether allude is tactful or too subtle to be understood is beyond the point. The key is seeing their differences and understanding that each have their ways.

Allude and refer are not synonyms. Please stop using them as such.

Writing Tip #12: All Together vs. Altogether

All together now, say it with me: all together and altogether are two different words. I know some of you prefer one or the other, but it’s time to focus hard and get this right.

I suppose I shouldn’t be altogether shocked at this confusion—I remember the day I learned this one myself—but let’s break it down once and for all.

When you learned to spell together, did you learn to spell it by remembering the breakdown of to get her? I always thought it was a bit menacing, but maybe that’s why it stuck in my head. Let’s use the same logic when remembering all together.

If we’re all going to get her, we need to go all together.

Remember:

• All together means to be collected as a group.

• Altogether is an adverb that means entirely or on the whole.

Meanwhile, I’m altogether disturbed by this threatening writing tip, so I