The Journey of a Lifetime: Finding God's Healing Pathway

The Journey of a Lifetime

Finding God's Healing Pathway

Donna Good

ISBN 979-8-88616-658-3 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88616-659-0 (digital)

Copyright © 2023 by Donna Good

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Introduction

I Will Remember

My Lost Childhood

Memories

The Wrong Path

Picking Up the Pieces

I Will Stand

Never Give Up

His Truth Sets You Free

Honesty

Facing Life's Trials

The Way It's Been

Trusting in the Lord

In Your Eyes

Running to God

What Will It Take?

Looking toward Home

Going Home

The Poetry of My Life

Baby Needs

At the Window

Grandpa

Maybe This Time

Shadows on the Wall

Words

Help Me Please

He Heard My Cry

Just a Church Camp

Echoes from the Past

I'll Be Your Friend

A Precious Sight

Another Turn in the Road

Where Are You?

What Stage Is This?

Heal Me, O Lord

The Raging Monster Is Free

Flashbacks

The Path

Fear No More

What Love Truly Means

Through It All

The Father's Smile

Lord of My Life

Our Awesome God

Note

Days Unending

About the Author

To my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He loves me unconditionally, gives me the promise of hope and healing, carries me through the worst of times, and walks with me always.

Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.

—Psalm 25:4–5

Introduction

You are going under for the last time. You know this is it; this will be the end. But something makes you look up, and there stretched out before you is a hand! Oh, how you long to reach out and be saved. You have struggled so long on your own. Do you dare reach out and grasp this hand? The touch of this Father's hand is filled with gentleness and love. Where was he when you were going down the first time and the second? Why, you ask, did he wait until the last time to offer his hand to me? Oh, but he was there all the time, and you were too proud to see his love for you. How much he wanted to save you and hold you in his arms. Do you dare now to reach out when you know that he is your only hope? Reach out; let him save you!

You suffered alone when he was there all the time, waiting to comfort you, wanting to bring you to safety and the shelter of his love. Yes, I know how hard it is to trust when all you have known is pain and suffering. But this Father is merciful and will not let us suffer beyond that which we are able to endure. How would we ever know we needed him if we did not walk through the trials of this life and, in our desperation, reach out to the only hope we have in this world? Oh, thank you, Father, for your mercy and grace. You saved your people from their sins through the blood sacrifice of your only Son, Jesus Christ. He took our sins upon himself and became sin to overcome death. For sin is death and eternal existence apart from the Father and his light and love. Jesus shed his blood at Calvary to wash away all our blame so we may stand holy and righteous before the Father. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one can come to the Father except through him.

As you reach out to take the hand which is extended to you, you do so in acceptance and surrender. You surrender your will, your pride, your all and humbly bow before your Creator, acknowledging him as the source of your existence. You were wonderfully made in his image. Until you come to this realization, you will drift through life without purpose or aim, never truly being satisfied. Oh, for a time, you may fool yourself by pursuing the evils of this world. But soon these things lose their newness and thrill, and they no longer satisfy the longing of your heart. This longing is the longing to know the Creator, to be one with the Father who brought you forth and sustains you each day.

I know, for some, it is difficult to think of a father as loving and kind because of the past abusiveness in their lives. But this Father is not an earthly father that would desert you or beat you or call you stupid as might have been done to you in the past. No, this Father is a gentle and kind Father who wants to fulfill our every need. He is a king, and we are heirs to his throne. He gives us a room in his palace and calls us to his banquet table, giving a feast in our honor because we are one of his own. We lift our voices in praise and worship because he first loved us. He is faithful to those who seek him and hear his voice.

Don't wait for desperation to overcome you. Reach out for the Father's hand. Seek him now. He wants to claim you as his own and bring you to safety. Open your eyes, and seek him before you go down for the last time and are lost and condemned to an eternity in hell. You may think this sounds harsh that God would never do that to you. He loves you so much; he allows you to choose your own destiny. What will your decision be? Reach out for the Father's hand now, accepting all he has done for you. Claim your inheritance!

I Will Remember

Today I will remember what I tried to forget,

For it is in the reliving of memories we can heal

Not in hate, which would cause us to stumble

But in the light of compassion and understanding.

Yes, you may not forget, but you can forgive,

For holding on to your anger only hurts you.

So, my friend, let go and let God.

He can heal you and mend your broken soul;

You have only to ask then to believe,

And the miracles will slowly unfold.

Today I will remember what I tried to forget

One step at a time, one day at a time,

Finding the joy, the wonder of just being alive.

As a child sees the world, so shall I see it.

I will not be a slave to memories of the past.

Come dance in the rain, run in the meadows,

Be still now, and believe you are his child.

Feel his sunlight shining down around you,

Knowing that he loves you, and it is enough

For a lifetime, for all eternity.

Chapter 1

My Lost Childhood

And I will bring the blind by a way they knew not; I will lead them in paths they have not known; I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them.

—Isaiah 42:16

Today I can say I am no longer a victim or even just a survivor; I am an overcomer through God's mercy and grace. The Lord has shown me a better way to live a life full of love, hope, joy, and peace. He has restored and even given me back double that which was taken from me. The road I have traveled is not an easy road to take, but through it all, the Lord has never left me or forsaken me. He promised, and I chose to believe His promise by faith.

The light of my memory flickers like a candle as I catch glimpses of my abusive childhood. Oh, how I suffered in overwhelming pain. Even as young as two years old, I remember seeing the anger on my mother's face when I cried or disturbed what she was doing. Being that young, I didn't understand the feelings I was experiencing. I began thinking if Mommy doesn't like me, there must be something wrong with me. So my life of trying to please everyone to get their approval and attention began. No matter how hard I tried or whatever I did, neither one of my parents ever cared or praised me. I was invisible, just someone who was in the way and should have been a boy instead of a girl.

In my family, girls were looked down upon as second-class citizens, while boys were put on a pedestal. As I grew up, I had to endure watching my older brother receive the praise and attention I so desperately craved, especially from my father. There were three of us girls; however, it was my brother who had the birthday parties and even a shiny new bike. I can remember it clearly but not one memory of a party for me or a bike. I had to beg my girlfriend to let me use her old bike. How humiliating it was for me to ask. Christmas is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year; for our family, it was the worst. Only two memories come to mind: the first one was a doll I received, and the second one was when my mom threw the Christmas tree out the front door because she was angry at someone.

My mother was a very selfish person. She would load us kids on a bus and drag us downtown to go shopping. I hated to go. If she bought me anything, when we got home, she would look me straight in the eye and tell me I didn't deserve whatever she bought me. She said she should have spent the money on something for herself instead of me. How could I have any self-esteem or self-worth when I had to live with all this abuse? Though the Lord has healed me, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. My heart hurts for those children who deal with it daily in their lives.

To make my life worse, I was ashamed of where we lived. We were the talk of the neighborhood because we lived in a basement consisting of two large rooms. One room served as a bedroom for the entire family. The other was sectioned off into a kitchen with a dining room table and a living room. We had no running water or bathroom. We had to carry water from our grandparents' house next door. Our toilet was a large pot that was set in one corner of the bedroom. Every night, my dad would empty the pot into a bucket that he carried out in the woods where he emptied it into a small creek. It was one of the many secrets I didn't want people to know. People would whisper behind our backs, Look how those poor children have to live! No one, though, ever called Children's