A Modest Proposal: Including "The Benefits of Farting Explained"
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Jonathan Swift
Jonathan Swift (Dublín, 1667–1745) cursó estudios en el Trinity College y se ordenó sacerdote anglicano en 1695 tras una fallida experiencia como diplomático profesional en Inglaterra. Aunque inicialmente se alineó ideológicamente con el partido liberal, sus importantes diferencias de criterio con sus compañeros de filas lo llevaron a militar en el partido tory (conservador), cuando éste logró el poder en Inglaterra en 1710. En 1713 fue nombrado deán en la catedral de San Patricio, en Dublín. Los años siguientes, hasta que perdiera sus facultades físicas y psíquicas en el último lustro de su vida, están marcados por un sentimiento de soledad y amargura personal cada vez mayor, en contraste con una fama literaria creciente y con una inmensa popularidad como defensor de la causa irlandesa. Su epitafio, escrito por él mismo, reza: «Aquí yace el cuerpo de Jonathan Swift, déan de la catedral, en un lugar en que la ardiente indignación no puede ya lacerar su corazón. Ve, viajero, e intenta imitar a un hombre que fue un irreductible defensor de la libertad.»
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A Modest Proposal - Jonathan Swift
The Benefits of Farting Explained
Table of Contents
Lovely Babe of Maid of Honour,
Every Grace shall smile upon her,
Sweetest Warbler of the Tail,
Soft as Breeze of Southern Gale;
Or the fanning Zephyrs Blast,
Over Beds of Spices past;
Gentle Puff of fragrant Air,
Squeez’d from Breech of Virgin Fair;
‘Tis by Thee the Fair discover,
Proof of Vigour in a Lover;
Silent Fizzle; or Speaking Fart,
Easily both Ease impart;
Sweet Fore-boder, joyful Sound,
To the Belly that’s hard bound;
Cure of Cholick, Cure of Gripes,
Tuneful Drone of lower Pipes.
Thus the Winds in Cavern pent,
Widen Holes, and force a Vent;
Stealing Whisper, ‘scape of Bum,
Soft as Flute, or loud as Drum;
Downwards breathing, backwards sigh,
Happy Smock that lies so nigh;
Happy she that can this Way,
Shut her Mouth, but loudly Bray.
Of Chloe all the Town has rung;
By ev’ry size of Poets sung:
So beautiful a Nymph appears
But once in Twenty Thousand Years.
By Nature form’d with nicest Care,
And, faultless to a single Hair.
Her graceful Mein, her Shape, and Face,
Confest her of no mortal Race:
And then, so nice, and so genteel;
Such Cleanliness from Head to Heel:
No Humours gross, or frowzy Steams,
No noisom Whiffs, or sweaty Streams,
Before, behind, above, below,
Could from her taintless Body flow.
Would so discreetly Things dispose,
None ever saw her pluck a Rose.
Her dearest Comrades never caught her
Squat on her Hams, to make Maid’s Water.
You’d swear, that so divine a Creature
Felt no Necessities of Nature.
In Summer had she walkt the Town,
Her Arm-pits would not stain her Gown:
At Country Dances, not a