The Ice Harp

I

Every mind must make its choice between

truth and repose. It cannot have both.

—R. W. Emerson

"What is this crumblesome thing?"

Toasted bread, Mr. Emerson. And will you please stop poking at it?

Tastes like straw.

What a mess you’re making! And I just put away the broom.

And Pharaoh said to his overseers, ‘Ye shall no more give the people straw to make brick, as heretofore: let them make brooms.’

Whatever are you going on about now?

What rots, neglected in the rain and ricks.

Mr. Emerson, eat your breakfast.

What is this implement?

It’s a spoon, dear.

Spoon. Lovely in the mouth—word and thing of the word when jammed with mulberry or quince.

Husband, don’t play with your food.

Neither quince nor mulberry nor yet the common apple. It sits lumpishly on my tongue.

Pease porridge, if I do not mistake.

Pease porridge hot, pease porridge cold,

Pease porridge in the pot nine days old;

Some like it hot, some like it cold,

Some like it in the pot, nine days old.

I scoop out the heart of the porridge; I agitate it to beat all; I give it a proper dashing!

"How sweet the words used to be! Not that I ever spoke with the fire of Webster, Father Taylor, Clay, or even gasbag Whitman! I should never have sent him my greetings at the start of a great career. I begged him to get rid of the sex in Leaves of Grass. Naturally, he wouldn’t."

Wife removes a tub of boiling water from the stove and sets it in the sink.

Ride a cock-horse

To Banbury Cross,

To see what Tommy can buy;

A penny white loaf,

A penny white cake,

And a two-penny apple-pie.

The man’s nothing but a gabbing, loafing prick in a slouch hat!

Anymore you talk like a hooligan! I won’t have it!

Will you wash out my mouth with soap, Lidian, old girl? Oh, not the lye, spare me it!

I strum the airy lyre. I stick out my tongue waggishly.

Syllables may not have tripped lightly on my tongue, but on the lecture platform, I was smoldering. The ladies adored me. They hung on my every word. I held them in my hand. This woman’s hands are floury.

The ladies adored me, Lidian, as I stood beside the philodendron leaves and orated. My words took whinge.

Not whinge, surely, Emerson, old fool!

What fiddle-faddle, Mr. Emerson!

In the water boiling on the stove, Lidian stirs dirty dishcloths with a thing whose martial-sounding name chimes pleasingly with faddle … paddle…. Pshaw, Waldo, you’ve become a postman chasing fare-thee-wells blown from his bag of wind. I speak of words a-going, if not yet gone—not quite, only out of reach, just, and justing toward silence, which the dear one keeps. How I could joust, once upon a time!

I was a veritable Lancelot in the lists, my dear.

Imperturbable Walt and his lists interminable! How tiresome he’s become!

Has he come, Queenie? An endearment that befits her dignity.

Has who come?

The village postman with his leather bag! I’m expecting a poem from old fart Whitman, ‘singing the phallus / Singing the song of procreation.’

Language, Mr. Emerson!

My ineffables are buttoned up.

How the ladies used to flatter me! Had I not been a moral philosopher, I’d have plucked them.

One of the San Francisco papers said of me that ‘I was tall, straight, well-formed, with a head constructed on utility rather than the ornamental principle … but ‘refreshing to look at.’

I look outside the steamy window. On the branch of the elm tree in the yard, a bird sits. Your wings are broken, Emerson, old bird, and so is your memory. Something in the kitchen air stings; I give my nose a good snuffle.

Mistress of the house, my nose is looming.

All the better for sniffing out hypocrisy. Isn’t that what you used to say?

I bat my nose with a finger; I do battle with my proboscis.

Battledore—that’s the thing Queenie stirs the dirty laundry with! And there, professor, is one more word, thought lost forevermore, pulled up from the muck. Muck of ages, cleft for me.

Mrs. Emerson, it’s a Hebrew nose. My pound of flesh.

You know very well you have the Haskins nose.

I peer down its length till my eyes cross.

It casts a large shadow. I sniff the heated air. The lye stings!

Will you try to write today?

What’s in a nose? I lay a finger aside my own.

Smut, likely. Tsk, tsk.

I remember how Henry Thoreau would turn his face away, pinch his nostrils, and blow the snot from his snout. Disgusting habit! I rebuked him once; he laughed and said why spoil a linen handkerchief when nature’s hem will do just as well. He was no gentleman.

I say, Henry T. was no gentleman.

"You’re too fastidious, Waldo."

Henry walks through the door that Lidian opened to rid the kitchen of steam, which has made my eyes water and my nose run. His hair is tousled, his beard patriarchal.

Good morning, Henry. Did you sleep well?

I would have if the carpenter had left me room to stretch my legs.

Henry stretches one leg, then the other, like Lidian’s cat Jeoffry, which can tread to all measures upon the music.

You never seemed to know what to do with them; they gangled so!

They were made for walking. Giving them a critical squint, he lets out a woebegone sigh of discontent. I admit they were not made for dancing.

I did enjoy your mad capering.

In livelier days, I was said to cut a clownish figure.

He does so now for my amusement.

You danced as though you’d caught fire.

Not quite the thing for the parlors of Scituate.

He shows his leg, tendu, like the foppish Osric of the Danish court.

Did you never get over your Miss Sewall?

She’s safely married.

Safely for her?

"For me, old philosopher. I wear my dirty boots in the house as I please."

Sing me your soles.

Being nothing stingy, I’ll sing you an entire scale: Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la—

Henry, show me the bottom of your clodhoppers!

Treating me once again to the boyish smile of his former days, he tucks one leg up behind him for my inspection of the article in question, sets it down, and, with the other, does the same. I think that he resembles a scarlet ibis gawking by the river Nile and congratulate myself on the metaphor.

Hallelujah! You remembered to use the boot scraper. I’d have been given the fatal asp by the Concord Cleopatra had you muddied her floor.

"Mr. Emerson, what are you staring at?"

The floor, Queenie. It’s vermiculate.

I say nothing of the crumbs of toast, lest she turn her broom on me.

"You mean immaculate."

I do indeed. Why, I’m no better than Mrs….

Malaprop.

The same. Remember, Queenie, the night we saw Macready play Captain Jack at the Melodeon?

Henry takes a straw from his mouth, with which he has been picking his teeth.

I prefer the ‘tongue slippers’ of Constable Dogberry. Sheridan can’t hold a candle to the divine Will.

"It was at the Boston Theatre, on Washington Street, where we saw The Rivals, but Mr. Macready had no part in it. He played the Danish prince in Hamlet. I remember his performance vividly, since you sneezed just as he discovered Gertrude at her prayers. The poor man forgot himself and glowered across the footlights to see who could have been so outré as to honk at such a moment."

Sometimes, Lidian, you make me feel like a schoolboy waiting for the knuckle rapper for having misconstrued his Latin.

Henry cracks his. I fume. Lidian bites her tongue, as the saying goes.

Mr. Emerson, do you feel able to set down your thoughts this morning?

Her voice is kind, but my thoughts lie helterskelter, like bricks spilled from a hod. To think that straw should have been the binding part!

I address myself to my lanky friend: I suppose you find the next life dull.

I was given a bean field to hoe, although for the life of me, I don’t know why, since we neither hunger nor thirst.

You mustn’t grumble. God knows men, and men, even dead ones, need to be occupied.

Punished, more likely, as I am denied the harvest. My beans ripen and cannot rot on the vine, nor can I pick them—no, not a single blessed one. It’s considered a great sin to interfere in perfection.

So there is sin in heaven, too.

"It exists in potentia, as it did for Lucifer before his headlong fall over the banister of heaven. How I detest the idea of eternal life!"

Eternity is a human idea, and time is what passes in the mind.

Good Lord, Waldo, didn’t my mind have enough of beans, and beans of it? It would rather that I played my flute or took soundings of the ponds.

Ponds, you say! How nice for you. How’s the fishing?

Not ideal, because the fish disdain the worm.

Queenie, I would like a fish for supper.

What kind of fish?

She is wiping her soapy hands on her apron.

Oh, you know, one that swims, or did swim when it was in its native element.

Memory, hither come,

And tune your merry notes;

And, while upon the wind,

Your music floats,

I’ll pore upon the stream,

Where sighing lovers dream,

And fish for fancies as they pass

Within the watery glass.

I think you’d finish your breakfast before worrying about supper!

Henry fingers the Adam’s apple underneath his beard.

We hook ourselves, as we did in life.

It may be hell after all—the place, old friend, where you fetched up, though I’d hate to have the priggish Calvinists proved right.

Maybe so, Waldo, maybe so.

Musing, he chews on his piece of straw.

Henry, is there much talk of the future where you come from?

Having none ourselves, only a few of us take an interest in yours.

He pretends to see the future through a telescope formed by the O’s of his encircling fingers. Dirty and ragged, his nails are quite out of keeping with a state of bliss, I think, until I remember that he labors in other fields than those where lilies grow. Evidently, heaven is arranged according to the principles of Marx and Engels.

My voice catching in my throat, I ask him, Will it be as you feared?

Humankind’s future is a dismal place of sooty train sheds and grindstones on which human noses grow forever shorter. I don’t recommend it.

With a clap of his hands, the make-believe telescope folds up and vanishes.

I pull my lower lip pensively before shaking off the grim forecast.

How I miss the days when Bush was noisy with onions and controversy!

Strong opinions, like onions, will keep the crowd at bay. And for that reason, I like them both.

Henry, do you see any of the old contrarians?

The dead ones, mostly.

I look at my palms, as though I might see the dear faces imprinted there: that of Bronson Alcott, Theodore Parker, the Ripleys, brave Margaret Fuller, whom the world deemed immoral, Jones Very, who got drunk on the Holy Ghost and spent a month, insane with God, at the McLean Asylum, writing a penetrating essay on Hamlet and his problem. Gloomy, silent, and watchful, Hawthorne would join us, on occasion, as did Henry, who preferred to listen to wind and water and birds than to the high-flown sentiments of men. What a gathering of genius that was! The Transcendental Club was the granite on which our soaring thoughts found bedrock, if only for a time.

Do you remember the exultation of those days? I sigh, a sound expressive of regret in all the languages of men. This morning, in my shaving mirror, I saw a moist, cold element.

When I see my face reflected in a slab of polished granite, I think of Jeremiah crying for Jerusalem.

Henry tosses his head, so that his long hair flies wildly about him.

Your hair is spectacular!

It grows apace in the rarified air of what the slothful call heaven. What’s more, it does forever, or so I’m told.

As long as that! And do a man’s brains also grow?

Mine are still pickling. And for your information, Waldo, the next world is peopled by women, too.

I pray that God has given them the vote, for men will never do so. Have you any news of Margaret Fuller?

Feeling my face flush, I turn my head from Henry’s gaze, forgetting that he has acquired a measure of omniscience. He can see through me to my back collar button.

You old dog, Emerson; you ancient roué!

I color even more, until Henry is moved to relieve me of my embarrassment.

She’s in the neighborhood, though the self-righteous shun her.

She got over her drowning, then.

We all get over the manner of our dying, Waldo. We inhabit the next phase in perfect equanimity.

That ought to please the randy old cock Whitman. God spare me from an eternity of his barbaric yawping!

"Like everything else, his Leaves will have their season till they, too, fall into obscurity."

Thinking of the dying leaves and of the Edenic couple, which paradise shed, I sing:

We long to see Thy churches fall,

That all the chosen race

May with one voice, and heart and soul,

Sing Thy redeeming grace.

Lidian shakes a hostile finger at me. "Thy churches full."

I love the fall. To be abroad in it … out and about.

There’s plenty needs doing in the yard, Mr. Emerson. You can start by dismantling the cucumber frame; the wood is rotten.

I recall the afternoon Henry built it.

It wasn’t me.

"It wasn’t I. Nominative case."

Still the same old pedant, Waldo!

Grammar is gravity, without which words would become nonsensical, like a clockwork planetarium gone mad.

It was Samuel Long, the runaway slave, who built the cucumber frame, says Lidian, whose mind is less moth-eaten than my own. Henry Thoreau was responsible for the Alcotts’ preposterous summerhouse.

‘Tumbledown Hall!’ I can smell the cedar shavings curling from his plane.

It embodied, in wood, the universal principle of impermanence.

Queenie, whatever happened to Samuel?

The last I heard, he was in Philadelphia, working for Elijah Weaver’s paper.

I’d forgotten all about him.

I’m certain he hasn’t forgotten you, husband.

The kitchen has turned tropical; the windows drip with steam; I wipe my sweaty brow. My dear, do you imagine yourself in the hell promised by your Calvinist parents during a childhood when every lightning seemed the beginning of the conflagration and every noise in the street the crack of doom?

"Samuel