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    This Gum for Hire: A Chet Gecko Mystery
    This Gum for Hire: A Chet Gecko Mystery
    This Gum for Hire: A Chet Gecko Mystery
    Ebook124 pages1 hour

    This Gum for Hire: A Chet Gecko Mystery

    By Bruce Hale

    4/5

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    About this ebook

    Kidnapped! One by one, the members of Emerson Hicky's football team are disappearing. As far as Chet Gecko is concerned, this is a cause for celebration.
    Only trouble is that Chet's old nemesis, Herman the Gila Monster, is the number one suspect, and he wants Chet to clear his (not quite) good name.
    Chet and his mockingbird partner, Natalie Attired, must solve the case fast, or Herman will make sure it's their last. But which is more dangerous—Herman . . . or P.E. class?
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarperCollins
    Release dateApr 1, 2003
    ISBN9780547545738
    This Gum for Hire: A Chet Gecko Mystery
    Author

    Bruce Hale

    BRUCE HALE is the author of Snoring Beauty, illustrated by Howard Fine, as well as the fifteen Chet Gecko mysteries. A popular speaker, teacher, and storyteller for children and adults, he lives in Santa Barbara, California. www.brucehale.com

    Read more from Bruce Hale

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    • 4/5

      Mar 21, 2008

      Smart writing, laugh out loud jokes, double entendres, puns, and similes that are an English teacher's dream are just a few attributes of this wonderfully funny, easy to read book. The characters are all animals. Chet Gecko is the "best lizard detective" at Emerson Hicky Elementary and by his own admission he would rather work out the angles of a mystery than work out at the gym. His main partner in solving crime is a mockingbird named Natalie Attired. Middle school students will have no problem understanding this story about three missing football players. As Chet and Natalie are discussing the "case" and eating earth worm casserole and Lice Krispie treats, Natalie asks Chet, "What's made of plastic and hangs around French cathedrals?" Chet braces himself for the answer, "The lunchpack of Notre Dame." A very enjoyable read.

    Book preview

    This Gum for Hire - Bruce Hale

    Copyright © 2002 by Bruce Hale

    All rights reserved. For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to [email protected] or to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 3 Park Avenue, 19th Floor, New York, New York 10016.

    www.hmhco.com

    Originally published in hardcover in the United States by Harcourt, Inc., 2002.

    The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

    Hale, Bruce.

    This gum for hire: from the tattered casebook of Chet

    Gecko, private eye/by Bruce Hale,

    p. cm.

    A Chet Gecko Mystery.

    Summary: To save his own skin, private eye Chet Gecko sets out to solve the mystery of Emerson Hicky Elementary School’s disappearing football players.

    [1. Football—Fiction. 2. Schools—Fiction. 3. Geckos—Fiction. 4. Animals—Fiction. 5. Humorous stories. 6. Mystery and detective stories.] I. Title.

    PZ7.H1295Th 2002

    [Fic]—dc21 2001008127

    ISBN 978-0-15-202491-8 hardcover

    ISBN 978-0-15-202497-0 paperback

    eISBN 978-0-547-54573-8

    v2.0216

    For Michael, eagle-eyed editor and partner in crime.

    Couldn’t have done it without ya

    [Image]

    A private message from the private eye . . .

    My workout philosophy has always been a simple one: no pain, no pain. You won’t find me trying out for soccer, baseball, or basketball, because I’m not big on team sports (or even individual sports, for that matter).

    Fact is, I’d rather work out the angles of a mystery than work out at the gym any day. Of course, you’d expect that from a private eye. That’s me: Chet Gecko, best lizard detective at Emerson Hicky Elementary.

    Don’t get me wrong—I like exercise. I could sit and watch other people do it all day. But this one case gave me more action than I could handle. It plunged me deeper into the sports world than a dung beetle in elephant poop.

    I thought the case was a slam dunk. But as I struck out on one clue after another, the trail led me straight to my least favorite place on earth: P.E. class.

    And there I learned the truth about sports: If you watch a game, it’s fun; if you play it, it’s recreation; if you work at it, it’s football.

    1

    Case of the Mopey Monster

    The stink alone should have tipped me off. I was taking a brain break, just swinging on the swing set, when a serious stench grabbed me in its funky blue fist.

    It was strong enough to make a skunk blush.

    Hmm, I thought, as I whooshed forward. Cabbage and beans for breakfast?

    Right stink, wrong source.

    Something snagged me in midswing—glomp!—and there I hung, stuck in the sky.

    I twisted to look under the seat. An ugly mug met my gaze.

    Even wrong way around, I could tell: It was Herman the Gila Monster. He wasn’t as big as Beijing, he wasn’t as mean as a six-pack of hungry sharks. But the Big Bad Wolf could’ve learned something from Herman—his breath was stinky enough to melt a brick house.

    [Image]

    What’s up, Herman? I asked, coughing.

    You, he said.

    That’s Gila monster humor for you.

    Normally, I kept my distance from the big lug. But since he’d already caught me, my best move was to play dumb.

    Unfortunately, you can’t play dumber than Herman without a lobotomy.

    You wanted to see me? I asked.

    Yup, he said, hoisting me by my tail. I like talk.

    I almost told him, Go see a speech doctor, but it was a long way down to the ground.

    I talk better on my feet, I said.

    Okay. Herman let go my tail.

    The ground rushed up to meet me like a car salesman at closing time.

    Whonk!

    As I climbed to my feet, the burly Gila monster clapped a hand onto my shoulder. We go . . . someplace private, Herman growled.

    My life flashed before me. It wasn’t pretty. But it was my life, darn it, and I wanted to live to see fifth grade.

    Let’s go to the scrofulous tree, I said. I do my best thinking there.

    With a grunt, the Gila monster steered me in that direction. Two small squirrels were playing Frisbee under my favorite tree.

    Scram! Herman growled.

    They scrammed. Herman shoved me down on the grass. I rolled and raised my fists and feet, ready to fight back. Then, with a thud like a meteorite hitting the earth, the Gila monster flopped down beside me.

    Gecko, he said, I got problem.

    I’ve been meaning to mention that, I said. You know, a little mouthwash—

    Not funny, he rumbled. Problem big.

    I sat up. He was serious.

    I’d never figured myself as a friendly ear for school-yard thugs, but what the heck. I bit.

    What’s on your mind? I asked. And I use that term loosely.

    Herman sighed like an avalanche on a distant mountain. Team in trouble. Coach blame me.

    The Gila monster was a fearsome football player. Several times, he’d been kicked off the team for his hijinks, but he always got called back. Emerson Hicky Elementary took its sports seriously, and a monster on the front line is hard to find.

    Like I cared about that.

    So, I asked, why tell me?

    Herman’s heavy head swung my way. Players go bye-bye, he said. Not my fault. Gecko can find players.

    Oh, no, I said. Not me.

    Herman moved faster than a starving toad at a fruit-fly fest. Before I could even twitch, he grabbed my ankle.

    Gecko will help, he growled. "Or Gecko will need help." The Gila monster shook his other fist meaningfully. I got the picture.

    Then, a thought took that long, lonely trip across Herman’s mind. His fangs twinkled in a smile. "Plus, Herman will pay. One chocolate

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