Crimson Chaos: A Motorcycle Club Romance: Steel Roses Motorcycle Club, #1

1

ALBA

Most young girls dream of being a doctor when they grow up. Or a teacher. Something reasonable.

Definitely not a cam girl.

Like many people in sex work, I found myself here by circumstance. Specifically, financial. Which, in my case, said more about the state of the healthcare crisis in America than it did about me as a person. I had once worked full-time at the library. I was a law-abiding citizen.

And yet… none of that saved me when the Big C came knocking on my family’s door. It didn’t do a lick of good when the cells in my mother’s body revolted and mutated, hiding in her pancreas and spreading to her brain before she could do anything about it. With the cancer now in its late stage, my mother had been left bedridden and reliant on expensive medicines insurance simply wouldn’t cover.

It drove me fucking nuts. What good was insurance if it didn’t help when you needed it?

I’d had to improvise. It started with flashing my tits to lonely people on the internet. And now, my page, Crimson, garnered thousands of views a day. I wore a kitten mask covering the top half of my face and named myself Aurora Dawn, a play on my real name, Alba, which meant dawn in Spanish. All this to say, strangers paid handsomely to watch me masturbate, and I wasn’t ashamed of it.

Eventually, I made enough money to quit my day job and perform full-time. But there were limits to what I could do myself. Sure, a clientele for solo girls existed. But most people who watched hetero-presenting porn wanted to see a hot guy railing some much hotter girl. I got comments like:

I bet those lips look great wrapped around a cock.

I wanna see you get fucked.

Can you do a cream pie scene?

Which was why I’d decided to come to this burning dumpster of a party. My friend, Aliza, invited me, but friend was a generous word for our relationship. I hadn’t been to one of her parties in ages, but tonight, I was on a mission to find someone I trusted. A partner. A coworker. I made good money on my own, but I could double or triple my income if I had someone to scene with.

I sat on the couch in her parents’ sunroom and looked at the mingling bodies while I sipped my tepid beer, weighing my options.

There was Jason Gilbert. Apparently he had a big cock, but he was a bit of a player, and I’d insist on exclusivity while we were filming. Next was Rick Pierson, who was attractive in that boy-next-door sort of way. I’d long suspected he might be gay, even if he wasn’t out yet. Hell, I could be wrong.

The couch dipped next to me as a tall guy wearing a leather cut lowered his big body onto it. I narrowed my eyes and pushed my glasses higher up my nose while I tried to recall if I knew him from somewhere.

No. I’d definitely remember those tattoos. They covered his hands and arms, disappearing under his black T-shirt, only to reemerge up by his collarbone, twisting along his neck to his jawline. His brown hair was shaved on the sides and longer on the top, styled back away from his face. He had on dark jeans and black leather boots, but it was the symbol on the cut that got my attention.

KC, it said on one side. Steel Roses MC was on the other.

He leaned back on the couch and ran his hands down his thighs, glancing at the party. He seemed uncomfortable… perhaps even more than I was. And for someone as beautiful as him, that struck me as odd.

What did he have to be uncomfortable about? Those cheekbones, those haunting blue eyes, those tattoos, and that smile? I would bet he walked into rooms and women dropped to their knees. I was nearly there myself.

Hey. He nodded when he caught me staring.

I quickly looked away and smiled, licking my lips before saying, Hey.

God, I’m a fucking mess. I’d been openly gawking at him, eyeing him like a piece of meat. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I’m Jericho, he said.

Alba, I replied.

Are you having a good time? He gestured around to everyone.

I shrugged. It’s okay.

Just okay?

I haven’t seen most of these people in forever. I took another sip of my beer. They haven’t changed at all.

He smiled, seeming to understand what I meant. It wasn’t a good thing. They still drank their lives away, partying and acting like idiots. And why shouldn’t they? They didn’t have a care in the world, the lucky pricks.

But you have? he said.

I looked at him, my lips thinning as I pondered what he meant.

They haven’t changed, he explained. But you have.

Life comes for us hard and fast, I said.

Indeed, it does.

Are you having a good time?

He shrugged. Better now that I’ve met you.

Ah. I chuckled. Smooth.

Was it? He laughed. I’m not good at this sort of thing.

What sort of thing?

The whole meeting a pretty girl at a party and striking up a conversation thing.

I fiddled with a string on my cardigan. Did… did he just call me pretty? A wicked heat snaked up my chest and into my cheeks. I doubt that.

You’d be surprised. He winked at me, and a blush rose up my neck and into my cheeks.

Look, I ran a website where people whacked off to my asshole for a living. I’d been called everything under the sun. Beautiful. Sexy. Big titty Goddess. People would say anything when they’re horny.

That was Aurora Dawn taking those compliments. Aurora was the beautiful, sexy, big titty Goddess. Alba was a glasses-wearing nerd who liked Star Wars and used to play D&D with her internet friends on the weekends. Alba didn’t care about being pretty because she had better shit to worry about than what some stupid man thought of her appearance. But when Jericho did it, something flamed to life inside of me that had long since wilted and shrived up to die.

He tilted his head toward me and flashed a big smile.

Such a nice smile.

It made him look sweet and innocent, even if the tattoos and leather cut told another tale. They said he was someone who would kill you for saying the wrong thing. Someone who could beat the living hell out of anything in his path.

I bit my bottom lip and pretended not to be interested.

What do you do for a living, Alba?

I’m a librarian. Not technically a lie, if not the complete truth.

Do you enjoy that?

I do, I answered honestly.

Why?

I shrugged. Books are immortalizing.

He narrowed his eyes. Explain.

My mom says every time you make something, you put a piece of your soul into it. A whole book? That’s a big chunk of soul. I raised my eyebrows. "And the library is filled with them. Words from people who’ve long since died. Words that can never be unwritten."

That’s… He whistled and shook his head. That’s profound.

I playfully nudged his shoulder. Don’t mock me.

I’m not, he said. I guess I never thought about it like that.

I froze, assessing him. He really wasn’t teasing me. He was… impressed.

What about you? I said. What do you do all day?

I work at my uncle’s shop. The Rose Garage on Mount Zion.

Yeah, I know where it is. Right down the street from my house. I used to walk there when I was a little girl and buy ice cream cones out of the freezer in the back. Your uncle is Thor?

He nodded. Yeah. You know him?

I told him about living close by. My house is the last one on the mountain, way up in the sticks.

Yeah, he said. I used to wander up there to smoke we— He chuckled awkwardly, scratching at the back of his head. Uh, to get away from my uncle.

I laughed and leaned in closer, whispering, It’s okay. I smoke weed up there, too. It’s a nice private spot.

It is, he said. Great views. He took another drink of water.

What brings you to Aliza’s party? I asked. You know someone here?

Are you dating someone here? The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I held back because what did it matter if he was? He was wayyyy out of my league.

Nah. He pointed to a guy in the next room also wearing a Steel Roses cut. My brother, Trojan. He’s meeting up with a few people.

I knew who Trojan was. Aliza and her friends had been referring to him as the Drug Man earlier in the night. All the pieces came together. Trojan and Jericho were Roses, and everyone knew the Roses were criminals. They were into some dark shit. Drugs. Weapons. Territory wars with the DC mafia.

He leaned in closer to whisper, I’m tagging along for backup.

I nodded, and he narrowed his eyes, as if by getting closer, he was able to see deeper inside. Maybe discover my secrets.

You sure we’ve never met before? he asked. You look familiar.

I don’t think so, I said. You’re remarkable. I would have remembered you.

He gave me a killer grin, and his cheeks turned a bright rosy pink. You think I’m remarkable?

Your tattoos are amazing, I said. And you have a nice smile.

Thanks, Alba. He clutched his chest. Wow. And to think… you were right up that mountain this whole time.

Yep, I said. Maybe we ran into each other when I was little. I haven’t been to that garage in a while.

No. He wagged a long, callused finger at me. I’d remember someone like you. He leaned in again. This time, he brought his lips to my ear, brushing my blonde hair over my shoulder before saying, You’re remarkable, too.

When I laughed, the sound came from somewhere inside me that needed a release. It had been trapped for so long that the act itself seemed defiant. Was I allowed to enjoy myself like this when my mother was at home in her bed with a nurse watching over her? Was I allowed to be reveling in this man’s attention when she was suffering so much?

Remember why you’re here, Alba. You’re looking for a business partner. Not a boyfriend.

Now you’re just flattering me. I tugged at my sleeves, yanking them down over my hands.

What makes you say that?

I gestured around to the people I went to school with. I’ve been here for two hours. You’re the first person to talk to me. They don’t care that I’m here.

Bah. He waved away my comment. They’re young and stupid.

Not that much younger than you.

His eyes lit up with surprise. How old do you think I am?

I assessed him. Certainly old enough to have gotten all those tattoos. They looked well done, so he must have paid good money for them. No wedding ring, a good sign, but his face still had a youthfulness that men grew out of when they hit their mid-thirties.

Twenty-seven, I said.

Damn, he said. How the fuck did you know that?

Lucky guess. I took another nervous drink of my beer. How old do you think I am?

Twenty-one.

Close, I said. Twenty-two.

He shook his head and sighed. "Well, you’re obviously not young and stupid. Everyone else is."

Nice save.

If everyone ignores you, why are you here? he said. I mean… why stay?

I considered lying, maybe saying I needed to get out of the house and meet new people, even though I’d known most of these people my entire life. But I honestly didn’t think I’d ever see Jericho again. He was in a motorcycle club. I took care of my dying mother all day. After she passed, I planned to leave Madison County altogether. I promised her I’d use some of her life insurance money to backpack across Europe and see the world. I didn’t have time for attachments. I didn’t have time for distractions.

By this point in the night, I’d had a few drinks and gotten liberal with my tongue. So when I opened my mouth, out came the truth. I’m looking for someone to fuck.

Jericho choked on his water, coughing as his face turned red. He leaned forward to set his bottle down on the coffee table so he could pound on his chest.

Are you okay? I patted his back.

Yeah, he wheezed out. I just… didn’t expect you to say that.

Sorry to surprise you.

Don’t be sorry, he said. Goddamn. Really? Who are you trying to fuck? Point him out. He paused. Or her. I don’t judge.

It’s not that simple, I said.

Sounds pretty simple to me.

No, it’s…

Am I really about to tell him this?

In for a penny…

I run a website where people pay to watch me masturbate.

He was silent for a moment, darting his eyes back and forth between mine like he was debating whether I told the truth.

I have videos on other sites, too, I said, talking to fill the gaping chasm between us. But most of my income is from my own page. I’ve been doing well by myself, but people want to see me cream pied, so… I took another awkward sip of my beer, swallowing it down even though it tasted like garbage. I needed something to do with my hands. Gotta give the fans what they want, right?

Oh my God, he said, blinking as he sat up straighter. Oh. My. Fucking. God.

What?

You’re Aurora Dawn. His eyes lit up like he’d just met a Kardashian.

Uh… I straightened, panic flushing through me as I glanced around to make sure no one else heard him.

You are. He grabbed my wrist and yanked up the sleeve of my cardigan, his hand like a vise grip around my bones. But the touch… oh, the touch vibrated through me. I ignored that and focused on his gaze, currently on the tattoo on the inside of my wrist: a scorpion, my astrological sign.

Lots of girls have a scorpion tattooed on their wrists, I tried.

Yeah, but not every girl has those pretty doe eyes.

I yanked my arm free. No one else knows. I’m trying to keep it that way.

Your secret is safe with me, sunshine. He took another drink of water and shook his head. Wow. Go to some backwoods party, meet my favorite porn star. Who would have thought?

It’s not the 1970s, I said. No one says porn star anymore. I’m a cam girl.

I’m the luckiest son of a bitch in the world, he said. Can I get your autograph or something?

Okay, now you’re making it weird.

He chuckled, and I liked the sound. It had an infectious quality that made me want to laugh just hearing it.

Wait, he said, something finally occurring to him. Why are you looking for someone here? Don’t you have any number of fuckable porn stars… excuse me, cam boys … at your disposal?

I sighed. They wanna fuck around. I’m looking for someone to be exclusive.

Oh, he said. Why?

Cream pie, remember? I smiled. Why, are you interested?

He laughed, obviously thinking I was joking, and I wasn’t entirely sure that I was. He took another drink of water before saying, What about your folks? Do they know what you do?

I don’t know my dad, I said. Mom suspects, but it’s a boundary between us. She hasn’t asked, so I haven’t told her. Not that I think she’d care.

Why’s that?

She’s into that free-the-nipple nonsense. She’d probably think it was smart, duping idiots out of their money by showing my vulva.

Hey. He pretended to be offended. I’m one of those idiots.

I eyed him up and down. You don’t look like the type of guy who pays for porn.

I’m not, but I’m curious what makes you think that.

Like I said… remarkable. You probably have a trail of broken hearts behind you.

I could say the same about you, and here you sit, alone and looking for someone to fuck.

And to put it on the internet, I said. Don’t forget that part. If it was just the fucking, I wouldn’t be having such a hard time.

I didn’t look like much when I was in Alba’s skin—glasses, tweed skirt, cardigan. I was every librarian stereotype ever. It didn’t help that I actually was a librarian. Or I used to be before Mom got sick.

My disguise was intentional, after all. If I’d learned anything from Superman, it only took a pair of glasses to make a person unrecognizable, and like I said, I wasn’t ready for everyone to know Aurora Dawn and Alba Wright wore the same skin.

However, with a little makeup, some hairspray, and a cute outfit, Aurora Dawn could have everybody in this room hard and panting in seconds. The confidence of that gave Alba the indifference to carry on with the disguise.

The conversation drifted to other things, and as we talked, I got more comfortable telling him about myself. I circled around to taking a sabbatical to care for my mother, which had led him to telling me about his parents dying when he was little. That was how he’d came to live with his uncle. Thor’s not my blood uncle. He was married to my aunt, but she’s gone now, too.

He said the word gone, and I assumed she also died. But his features dropped like it was painful to talk about, so I didn’t ask.

I still have my sister, he said. And the MC, of course. My real uncle, my dad’s brother, is the president. So I got a couple of cousins and stuff.

After my mom died, I wouldn’t have anyone, not even grandparents. Dad left before I was born, and Mom was an only child. She’d never regretted having me, but if she could do it again, she would have enjoyed more of her youth. Having a child changed her priorities. Hence the promise I made. The promise I intended to keep.

I told him about that, too, and for the very first time since Aurora Dawn was born, my two personalities became one. In Jericho, I found a confidant. I figured, fuck it, I’d never see him again. After this party was over, I’d go home empty-handed, and he’d forget about me. I’d drive by his garage every day, remembering this conversation and wishing I’d had the ovaries to ask him out when I had the chance. But I didn’t. It was better this way, right?

Hours ticked by like seconds, and pretty soon, it was near midnight. The nurse I’d hired to watch my mother left on the dot, so I couldn’t be late.

Well, Jericho, I said. It was so nice to meet you. I have to go. The caregiver for my mom gets off soon.

Oh. His tone was somber, but he nodded and stood while I fiddled with my ride-share app.

It was really good to meet you, he said. I hope I run into you again.

He held out his hand for me to shake. Like it was as simple as that. Like I hadn’t just bared my whole soul and every fucked-up thing about it to him, and he hadn’t just told me about his deep, dark demons.

I shook it, smiling and waving before I turned to leave, deciding to wait for my ride outside. But once I was there, a small spark of outrage lit in my gut.

We’d had a great conversation and connection. I told him about Alba and Aurora, why I was there, and what I wanted. Everything.

Why, are you interested?

God, I was an idiot. Of course, he wasn’t interested in having sex on camera. I snorted at his outdated term… porn star. But, we had good chemistry, right? He seemed interested in me before he found out who I was, and he kept flirting with me after that.

Why didn’t he make a play for my number?

Why didn’t he want to see me again?

Why did he let me leave like that?

That tiny spark grew into full-blown fury the more I thought about it.

Goddamn it.

I didn’t know if it was the beer or the way we’d been so honest with each other that had me turning around to hunt him down. I found him in the kitchen, twisting the cap off a new bottle of water.

Hey! I marched up to him, my hands balled into fists.

Hey, you’re back. His grin almost melted my rage. Almost.

Why didn’t you ask for my number?

He seemed confused at first, his eyebrows furrowing.

Why’d you let me leave? Why didn’t you ask for my number?

Whoa, whoa. He held his hands up. Are you seriously pissed about that?

I mean… a little. I crossed my arms, suddenly self-conscious. I told you my secret identity and everything.

He threw his head back and laughed, the joyous sound ringing through me. Alba, you told me where you lived.

I took a step back, my frustration evaporating when I understood what he meant.

I’m so ridiculous. Oh.

I was going to stop by tomorrow morning on my way to work to make sure you got home safe, he said. Though it’s cute that you got angry because you didn’t get enough attention. What? Two million fans not enough for you?

Shut up. I scowled, pushing my glasses higher up my face.

What’s your number? He reached into his pocket and held his phone out for me. I snatched it and sent myself a text message so I’d have his number, too.

There, he said. Happy?

Very. I turned on my heels to leave, my ride only two minutes away now, but he shot his hand out and wrapped it around my wrist to stop me. This time, the touch made me tremble, especially when he traced his thumb over my tattoo.

Oh, no you don’t. He pressed his chest against my back and his mouth right next to my ear, the hot breath from his words shooting down the front of my sweater. You got mad at me for letting you walk out of here the first time. I only need to learn my lesson once.

I shivered. Actually shook right there in his arms.

He felt it, too, because he hummed a noise of approval and moved around me, tugging me along behind him as we walked. He put his phone up to his ear and muttered something about leaving. I assumed he was talking to Trojan. When his buddy agreed, Jericho led me out front, and we walked down the street. I vaguely noticed an Uber waiting for me and cursed myself at the fine for that before cancelling it with my free hand.

Where are we going? I hissed.

I better see you home safe myself. We stopped in front of a beautiful obsidian Harley with ruby flames down either side of the tank. Girls like that shit, right? He handed me a helmet and lifted a leg over the machine, pulling it upright as he twisted the key in the ignition. It shows initiative.

I opened my mouth to protest, but he kicked the bike to life and the words died in my mouth. Here was this super-hot biker guy offering to give me a free ride home. Yeah, he was a stranger, but I knew his uncle as well as any young girl knew the guy who ran the corner store at the end of her street. He was a familiar face for someone who didn’t have many.

I could trust him, right? He wasn’t about to take me to some dark alley to rape and murder me? He was a Rose, after all. Those hands had probably choked the life out of a few people. I should have been more scared. Every logical, rational side of me knew that.

But I’d spent the better part of three hours telling him all my dark secrets, some of which my mother didn’t even know. That eased my hesitation. I put on the helmet and climbed on the bike behind him, wrapping my arms around his stomach so I could hold on for dear life as he drove me home.

2

ALBA

Twenty minutes.

That’s all it took for me to fall in love with his motorcycle.

Twenty minutes