Connection Culture, 2nd Edition: The Competitive Advantage of Shared Identity, Empathy, and Understanding at Work

More Praise for the First Edition

Packed with rock-solid evidence, disturbing statistics and moving stories, this short but passionate plea for connectedness at work and in life delivers a wake-up call. How connected you feel to other people at work turns out to be the primary driver of your sense of engagement as an employee, but Americans in particular have let relationships and community suffer. Experts Michael Lee Stallard, Jason Pankau and Katharine P. Stallard explain why people need to connect. getAbstract recommends this quick read to leaders who want to build places where the best people want to work and connect. —getAbstract

"Connection Culture really captures the why and how to mobilize an organization to work together toward a compelling vision. The insights about the unique contributions of the leader and the leadership team are especially useful." —Alan Mulally, Retired CEO, Boeing Commercial Airplanes and The Ford Motor Company

Every manager needs to read this book—it will foster healthier work environments and make my job a lot easier! —Ted George, MD, Clinical Professor, George Washington University School of Medicine; Senior Investigator, National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism

"Our organization has benefited greatly from the principles in Connection Culture. The book creates an engaging framework for leaders who want more for their businesses and employees. It is a must read for anyone leading an organization." —Mike Cunnion, Chief Executive Officer, Remedy Health Media

"Connection Culture lays out a compelling case for a culture of connection in every organization and provides a framework for leaders who want to apply positive personal values in practice in their organizations and teams." —John Young, Group President, Chief Business Officer, Pfizer

"Connection Culture captures the profound truth that people come first and provides the framework, language, and practices every leader needs to achieve a sustainable, superior performance. A great leadership guide for leaders at every level." —Frances Hesselbein, President and CEO, The Frances Hesselbein Leadership Institute

"A wonderful book … Connection Culture isn’t a very long or wordy book, but it’s loaded with lessons." —Small Business Trends

"At the end of the day leadership is all about the human experience. Connection Culture provides ideas, actions, and pathways that servant leaders can use to not only enhance performance, but more importantly to build a strong culture." —Howard Behar, Former President, Starbucks International

"The message of Connection Culture is profoundly personal yet ultimately universal. If you think you know what connection really means, you’ll come away with a whole new perspective once you have read this gracefully written book." —Bruce Rosenstein, Managing Editor, Leader to Leader, Author, Create Your Future the Peter Drucker Way

"Leadership is about relationships. Connection Culture reveals the art and science of creating a culture that builds relationships and drives performance." —David Burkus, Author, The Myths of Creativity and Under New Management

"Engaging, while offering real solutions to human challenges that occur in the workplace! As someone who has researched and published in the field of organizational psychology, I can honestly say that Connection Culture is right on target and a book that every leader should race to get their hands on." —Karla R. Peters-Van Havel, Chief Operating Officer, The Institute for Management Studies

Thank you, Michael, for reminding us again that people—customers and employees—are the most important ingredient of any business. Leaders place so much emphasis on the operations and financials, but people connecting and working together is the key to success. —Jay Morris, Vice President, Education, Executive Director, Institute for Excellence, Yale New Haven Health

"Connection Culture grabbed my attention from the beginning and had me jumping on the phone to share its ideas with friends and colleagues. We have to do better as leaders and as teachers of leadership development to be intentional in creating and sustaining connection cultures. Even when you think you’ve got it all in place (the surveys, training, recognition awards, and celebrations), disconnection creeps in. You must read this book." —Janis Apted, Associate Vice President, Faculty and Academic Development, The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center

"Too many leadership books focus on developing work experience without acknowledging the rest of our lives. Connection Culture demonstrates how the positive habits, relationships, and character we’ve developed in the workplace can serve us well at home and in our communities. Not only does this deep exploration of connection culture explain the positive effects of using these skills, it also offers ways to get started on the journey." —James daSilva, Senior Editor, SmartBrief on Leadership

Connection works when we work on connection. Michael Stallard draws us in with his stories, convinces us with his evidence, and guides us with his recommendations. He concludes by inviting us to mark the day we finish the book as the start of a new outlook, focused on establishing a thriving work culture through freshly enlivened, engaged, and enriched connections. —David Zinger, Founder, Employee Engagement Network

© 2020 ASTD DBA the Association for Talent Development (ATD) and Michael Lee Stallard

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America.

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No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, information storage and retrieval systems, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, please go to copyright.com, or contact Copyright Clearance Center (CCC), 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923 (telephone: 978.750.8400; fax: 978.646.8600).

Parts of this book are adapted from articles in Leader to Leader from the Frances Hesselbein Leadership Institute.

The Via Institute Classification of Character Strengths is copyright 2004-2014, VIA Institute on Character. All rights reserved. www.viacharacter.org

ATD Press is an internationally renowned source of insightful and practical information on talent development, training, and professional development.

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Ordering information: Books published by ATD Press can be purchased by visiting ATD’s website at td.org/books or by calling 800.628.2783 or 703.683.8100.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020936302

ISBN-10: 1-950496-52-X

ISBN-13: 978-1-950496-52-5

e-ISBN: 978-1-950496-53-2

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Text Design: Michelle Jose

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Printed by Color House Graphics, Grand Rapids, MI

Contents

Foreword

Introduction to the 2nd Edition

Part I: A New View of Leadership and Organizational Culture

1.   The X Factor

2.   Three Tultures You Need to Know: Connection, Control, and Indifference

3.   The Vision + Value + Voice Model

Profiles in Connection

Part II: The Superpower of Connection and Dangers of Disconnection

4.   Connection Helps Individuals Thrive

5.   Connection Provides a Performance and Competitive Advantage to Organizations

Profiles in Connection

Part III: Operationalizing Connection Culture

6.   Taking Action: Connecting Through Vision, Value, and Voice

7.   Whom Will You Choose to Become?

Acknowledgments

Appendix I: VIA Institute Classification of Character Strengths

Appendix II: Study Questions for Book Groups

Appendix III: Additional Resources

References

Index

About the Author and Contributors

Foreword

Connection Culture presents a new way of thinking about leadership, employee engagement, and organizational health. It shares the stories of many different organizations that found tremendous success by nurturing connections—from Costco to the U.S. Navy to the Duke University men’s basketball team. Combining an array of data and research findings as well as examples from real-life experiences, Michael Lee Stallard makes the compelling case that a culture of connection provides a clear competitive advantage for organizations and individuals. Connection Culture provides powerful tools for enriching and transforming organizations.

Texas Christian University (TCU) is proud to be one of the organizations profiled in Connection Culture. At TCU, our goal is to produce graduates who can deal with change, motivate others, and think and act responsibly in a global community. These are the qualities most needed for leadership and thriving in the future.

And we want to do more.

Some years ago, I was intrigued to learn that Stallard, the father of two of our students, was an expert on leadership and organizational culture. What he wrote on connection culture resonated with me. During my career in higher education, I’ve seen students thrive when supportive relationships make them feel connected, and I’ve seen how they struggle when they feel lonely. I was pleased to see how TCU’s culture resonated with Stallard’s connection culture theory—the university’s culture is rooted in a long history of valuing service to others and inclusiveness, both of which increase connection.

TCU’s connection culture has always been led by the people who become part of the TCU community. This focus on personal connectivity is modeled at all levels of faculty, staff, and student leadership—on campus and around the globe.

In an effort to strengthen our culture of connection even further, TCU has partnered with Stallard to create the TCU Center for Connection Culture. It begins at home as we equip our faculty, staff, and students with the skills to be more intentional about connection. We are committed to embracing connection programs and activities for our entire university as well as for community participants. We desire to be a beacon of connection and a model for other institutions that strive for community, inclusion, and ethical leadership.

While reading Connection Culture, I was reminded of Moore’s Law, which states that the processing power of computers will double every two years. I find this to be an apt metaphor for the rapidly evolving environment—one for which we must prepare our TCU graduates. This book provides positive ways of thinking and acting that can help them—and us all—navigate the future.

Our World Has Changed and Our Perspectives Have Broadened

Even now, as I write this update to the foreword for the second edition, a worldwide pandemic is unfurling and information on COVID-19 is spreading as quickly as the virus itself. We are in the midst of enacting sweeping measures: distance learning, working remotely, and the cancellation of gatherings that make being a Horned Frog so meaningful.

This historic season has tested not only life here at Texas Christian University, but life as we know it everywhere. The global COVID-19 pandemic suddenly challenged the way we live and learn, radically altering the way we relate to one another.

Or did it?

When our beautiful campus resembled a ghost town, the tulips kept right on blooming, and the sharing of ideas and resources flourished right along with them. I watched with gratitude as a new normal unfolded for a spirited Horned Frog family that can never truly be separated, even when apart.

What we are experiencing right now makes the elements of this book even more relevant. Because TCU has long fostered a sense of community, our emotional connection is strong and we were able to build upon those relationships for the betterment of our students.

Our rallying cry is #TCUTogether, a campaign launched to share the many stories of Frogs Helping Frogs. Almost immediately, student affairs began hosting virtual events to bring students closer together and combat feelings of isolation. I launched a video series direct to students and receive (and respond to) hundreds of emails per week. I can’t count the number of live online events, Zoom calls, and touchpoints TCU has created to grow our connection and support our community, even in this time of social distance.

These unprecedented times have taught us all that although we are apart, a Horned Frog will never be alone.

Victor J. Boschini Jr.

Chancellor, Texas Christian University

April 2020

Introduction to the Second Edition

My interest in workplace culture sprang from a desire to understand what was going on in my own work life and to discern what I should do as a leader to establish and maintain an environment in which the people I led could consistently do their best work. I took a break from working on Wall Street so I could focus on studying and addressing the widespread problem of employee disengagement and workplace burnout. Gathering and assimilating research and the perspectives of academics and experts, and conducting research on people in the trenches of modern organizational life led me to write and speak about what I discovered, and eventually to found a company to bring these insights to organizations.

Now, almost 20 years later, my colleagues and I have had the privilege of sharing our work with groups ranging in size from a medical software start-up of fewer than 20 employees to every Costco warehouse manager worldwide. Early on we worked with the engineering section of the NASA Johnson Space Center. More recently, we’ve spoken to leaders at the U.S. Air Force, Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco, Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, and Yale New Haven Health. In education, we’ve worked with Utah’s largest public school district and have an ongoing relationship with Texas Christian University (TCU), which established the TCU Center for Connection Culture. Other clients have been centered in the technology, construction, and finance industries.

What I’ve learned about connection applies beyond the realm of our work lives. The principles are relevant for individuals, families, community groups, sports teams, and even nations. Knowing that a connection deficit negatively affects our own health and well-being, the health of organizations, and the health of society, I’ve become concerned observing how the pace and stress of life threaten to squeeze out time for supportive, lifegiving relationships and endeavors. The United States and countries around the world are experiencing an epidemic of loneliness. In recent years, the news has been full of reports of incivility and active shooter incidents. There has been a rise in suicide rates, even in those as young as elementary school age. As I update this introduction, protests are taking place across the United States calling out systemic racism. It is a time of entering into honest, open, and productive dialogue that is very necessary if we are to be a country that values the dignity and inherent value of each individual. In all of these social issues, we must go beyond just talking and take action to make lasting change. I believe we can collectively turn the tide if we are willing to be intentional about connection.

New Research, Case Studies, and Connection Practices

This updated and expanded edition of Connection Culture builds on our understanding since the first edition was published in 2015 and since our book that introduced connection culture, Fired Up or Burned Out: How to Reignite Your Team’s Passion, Creativity, and Productivity, was published in 2007. For instance, recent research has found that:

•  Individuals with stronger social connections were associated with a 50 percent reduced risk of early death, whereas individuals who were lonely or socially isolated were associated with a risk of early death that is equivalent to the risk from smoking 15 cigarettes a day (Holt-Lunstad et al. 2010; Holt-Lunstad et al. 2015).

•  America and many other nations are experiencing an epidemic of loneliness, with three in five (61 percent) American adults self-reporting loneliness (Holt-Lunstad 2017; Cigna 2020).

•  Greater loneliness in the workplace results in poorer task, team role, and relational performance (Ozelik and Barsade 2017).

You’ll find new practices that boost connection and a five-step process to operationalize connection culture. You’ll learn about common obstacles that get in the way of cultivating a connection culture and how to overcome them. This edition also broadens the diversity of leaders and types of groups highlighted, including Lin-Manuel Miranda and the team that developed the award-winning Broadway musical Hamilton, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Steph Curry and the Golden State Warriors basketball team, the Mayo Clinic, Oprah Winfrey, and Tricia Griffith of Progressive Insurance. We’ve also added features that encourage you to pause and reflect on your own experience and how the material applies to your life and work environment.

In chapters 1 and 2 you will learn about the three cultures of connection, control, and indifference, and why a culture of connection helps individuals and organizations thrive.

In chapter 3 you will learn the Vision + Value + Voice model that is essential to create and sustain a connection culture.

At the close of parts I and II, you’ll find a section we call Profiles in Connection. Here you’ll read about leaders and groups that dramatically differ in the nature of the tasks they perform yet share commonalities in their social cultures. Perhaps you’ll spot some best practices of connection in action that you can implement.

Chapters 4 and 5 will arm you with interesting and relevant research supporting the case for connection from a wide variety of fields, including psychology, sociology, neuroscience, and organizational behavior. You will also see how a lack of connection affects wellness, well-being, and longevity, and how connection provides six specific benefits to teams and organizations that add up to a powerful performance and competitive advantage.

Chapters 6 and 7 will equip you with a process to operationalize connection culture, including specific, practical, and actionable ways to boost connection in your group’s culture.

The Perfect Storm: Stress, Loneliness, and the COVID-19 Pandemic

As the editing process for this second edition of Connection Culture neared completion, a novel coronavirus that causes the illness COVID-19 emerged in the city of Wuhan in China. As the highly transmissible virus began to spread worldwide in the early months of 2020, life as we had known it abruptly changed. On July 16, 2020, as I revise this introduction one final time, the statistics are sobering. To date, the virus has been found in nearly every country in the world, 13.7 million positive cases of COVID-19 have been publicly reported, and 588,023 individuals have died. In the United States alone, at least 138,255 people have died (New York Times 2020a, 2020b). The numbers continue to rise. Thankfully, the majority of people who contract COVID-19 are able to recover.

Because there wasn’t (and as of this writing still isn’t) a vaccine to protect people from contracting the virus, public health and government officials began to focus on strategies to slow the spread of transmission and flatten the curve so as not to overwhelm health systems. Many different strategies were used, including social distancing, wearing face masks while in public, and quarantining at home (which could be voluntary or mandated by law, depending on where you lived). The social distancing strategy called for people to maintain a physical distance of at least six feet in an effort to reduce the risk of disease transmission. Additionally, many local governments put restrictions on the number of people who could be together at one time, which meant that people could no longer gather as they would have for weddings, funerals, worship services, or birthday parties. Because of social distancing restrictions, public spaces were closed, and conventions, vacations, and live performances were canceled or moved into the virtual space. In addition, school buildings and college campuses closed, and education moved to being delivered through distance learning. School plays, spring sports, and the prom were canceled, and students couldn’t walk across the podium to receive their diplomas in a graduation ceremony.

Office workers became remote workers, doing their jobs from home. Other employees were furloughed or let go as organizations were forced to adapt to a sudden drop in activity. The millions of people who rely on income from gig work or having a side hustle were especially hit hard. According to an article in the New York Times on May 8, The Labor Department said the economy shed more than 20.5 million jobs in April, sending the unemployment rate to 14.7 percent as the coronavirus pandemic took a devastating toll (Schwartz et al. 2020). This was the highest U.S. unemployment rate since the Great Depression.

Alongside the feelings of loss and disappointment were feelings of fear and anxiety. Many worried that they or a loved one would contract COVID-19, they would lose their job due to the economic recession, they would be financially vulnerable due to the declining value of their savings, or that they would be unable to pay their bills.

Individuals worldwide were already struggling with high levels of stress and loneliness before the pandemic arrived. The physical distancing required to reduce virus transmission only add to our social isolation, contributing to a perfect storm of factors that increase physical and emotional health problems. A Kaiser Family Foundation poll of American adults conducted a few months after the COVID-19 outbreak began found the mental health of nearly half (45 percent) of respondents was negatively affected due to worry and stress over the virus (Kirzinger et al. 2020).

To help individuals and organizations, Katharine Stallard and I wrote Connection Is Critical During the Coronavirus Pandemic, which was published in a number of media outlets in late March. In that article, we shared key points about connection: Social connection makes us smarter, happier, and more productive; makes us more resilient to cope with stress; and appears to improve cardiovascular, endocrine, and immune system performance, which may provide physical and emotional resources to fight the virus. We observed that the convergence of factors—high stress, the current loneliness epidemic, and increased social isolation from the COVID-19 pandemic—made boosting connection an even more urgent matter. Acknowledging that the need for physical distancing makes it more difficult to connect in conventional ways, we recommended a number of practices to boost human connection under these conditions.

How long increased social isolation from COVID-19 will last is difficult to tell. It likely won’t end until a vaccine is developed, which may take one or more years. And once that happens, what will the lingering effects of having faced this traumatic event be? In the years immediately following the Spanish Flu, a particularly deadly pandemic that swept the globe in 1918–1919, there continued to be a fear of social connection when having done so in the midst of the prolonged crisis proved fatal for more than 600,000 individuals in the United States alone (Kenner 2018).

And how will the way we work change? For one, I expect to see a larger percentage of individuals working remotely, no longer benefiting from social connection in a shared workplace. In addition, many social distancing practices—such as wearing masks, plexiglass sneeze shields, and workstations that are more physically spread out—will likely continue, which will make connection in the workplace more challenging.

Going Forward, Together

Despite these concerns, I’m optimistic that the COVID-19 pandemic will bring about the post-traumatic growth that often comes after people experience times of adversity. This growth could come in the form of a renewed appreciation for human connection. If I’m right, we could see the emergence of a new anthropomorphic age that ushers in greater creativity, productivity, and well-being as the trials we face lead to greater human connection and a renaissance of the human spirit.

Getting through the COVID-19 pandemic and minimizing the loss of human life will require unprecedented levels of connection. Not only will connection be necessary to protect people until a vaccine is developed, it will also fuel the collaboration and creativity needed to crack the code and identify that vaccine. This became clear to me after I read a New Yorker article by Dr. Atul Gawande (2020), the noted surgeon and author. Gawande’s hospital system, Mass General Brigham, was able to keep COVID-19 cases at a minimum among its 75,000 employees