The Secret Lives of Crazy Dragon Ladies: #minithology, #1

Contents

. Chapter

1. Johnny's First Ring

2. Well, Well, Well

3. The Haunting of Luna Bryne

4. The Evolution of Esme

5. What We Leave Behind

About the Authors

Also By

Copyright

LAST CHRISTMAS, I WAS TEXTING with Elizabeth Knollston. I sent her a screenshot of an Anne Stokes painting of a little green dragon crawling out of a gift box with a Yuletide Blessings tag attached. I followed the picture up with, That’d be one heck of a gift.

Elizabeth replied, If I was going to get a dragon, I’d have to keep it. Sorry. Instead of the old cat lady, I’d be the old dragon lady.

My response? Uhhhh…. and just like that, a story appears.

I dreamed of an intrepid older woman who cares for stray dragons regardless of what the neighbors think. I loved the possibilities that gave me. I was excited by my original idea.

Then, a few days later, Terry Pratchett’s Lady Sybil Ramkin dropped in for a word with me and I had a duh moment. If you knew how often I read and re-read, listened and re-listened to the Discworld books, you’d understand why I laughed so hard at myself. Though I was not thinking of Lady Ramkin at the time, the crazy dragon lady idea was not exactly original.

Still, my crazy dragon lady had a story and I wanted to discover it. I could tell she was someone I’d like to be friends with.

I talked with Elizabeth about publishing together. Each of us would write a short story about the secret lives of the sort of people who would collect dragons like some people collect cats. Then, we’d put them out under one title.

While Elizabeth and I were talking, I realized I knew a couple of other storytellers who just might like this idea. They did, and they introduced me to our fifth contributor. So, we are five for this #minithology.

Each storyteller has this ground in common: We all have a love of dragons. Whether we first encountered them in dreams, or watching Dragon Tales, or reading about Hagrid’s Norbert, Bilbo’s Smaug, or Maleficent, they have captivated us. We are delighted by dragon stories and dragon art and dragon songs (of which there should be more).

The dragon ladies we have written are quite different from each other, sometimes surprisingly so. But they are united by the joy of dragons.

Grab a mug of coco, curl up in your favorite reading chair, and enjoy these secret lives of crazy dragon ladies.

N.D. Gray

March 2021

Camp Verde, AZ

We begin our #minithology with Elizabeth Knollston who grew up buying dragons as souvenirs on family vacations. Channeling her own penchant for silver, she tells us a story about the recently incarcerated Johnny who has an unsatiable desire for metal. Unexpectedly bailed out by a neighbor, Johnny learns the hard way that one should never judge little old ladies by the face they wear.

Warm, stagnate air hung in the jail. The single ceiling fan in the hallway was a decoration versus providing any functionality. The scent of unwashed bodies and urine permanently stained the wooden benches bolted into the wall. Johnny Boxer leaned against the rough, brick walls, his fingers absently playing with the uneven edges of the bench.

Five months and three days was Johnny’s rough guess. Five months and three days of fresh air and comfort. Five months and three days since he’d turned eighteen and could be tried as an adult. Five months and three days he’d been able to resist the urge.

Yet, here he was, sitting in the county’s jail cell. With luck, maybe he’d get off with serving just a few months, or a fine or perhaps community service. Or in reality, it’d be all three.

His finger found a splinter that refused to be ignored. Johnny jerked and raised an eyebrow in surprise at the immediacy of his blood’s need to escape the barrier of his skin. He stuck the offending finger in his mouth.

Time to go, Johnny, Sheriff Hodgins moved out of the shadows of the narrow hallway. The old-fashioned iron ring, with its three keys, lay heavy against the Sheriff’s hip. Without even a glance, Johnny knew where each tiny chip, rivet, and score mark disgraced the metal. As the Sheriff slipped a key into the cell door’s lock, the subtle clicks of the locking mechanisms were like thunder to Johnny’s ears. Once, when he’d been younger, the urge would have driven him mad with the need to possess the metal ring and its keys.

Looks like you might have some luck left after all, the Sheriff said as he swung the door open.

Both of Johnny’s eyebrows hitched up in surprise. Bail? Who’d bail me out, Johnny wondered. He’d burnt his bridges with his mom years ago, and his dad…well, there’d never really been a bridge between them to burn. Didn’t have any siblings or other relatives close by who’d be interested in him. And as for friends…anyone he might consider labeling a friend wouldn’t have the money to post bail.

Come on, I don’t have all day, son, Sheriff Hodgins said, hands on hips.

Johnny sucked on his finger and grinned. And then waited for the Sheriff to frown in annoyance.

Who posted? Johnny asked as he stood and stretched.

Just get a move on.

Johnny wasn’t fast enough for the Sheriff’s liking, as the older man went and grabbed Johnny’s arm.

Don’t know why you’d waste time and money on this one, ma’am, the Sheriff said, as he marched Johnny up to the front counter. But here he is. Not much worse for wear.

A blob of gray hair moved up and down a few times, and then its owner finally stood, revealing a wrinkled, sun-damaged face, eyes framed with thick plastic rimmed glasses. Oh, it’s no trouble at all Sheriff.

Sam, you got the paperwork in order? The Sherrif asked the officer moving up next to the counter.

Right here, sir.

Thanks to the Mayor’s belief in open-concept workspaces, and yearly budget cuts, the hodge podge arrangement of desks, printer stands, power cords, and free-rolling chairs created the perfect foil to any individual with a predilection to clumsiness.

The deputy, answering the call of his Sheriff, was one such individual. The toe of his right boot got caught, and the deputy did a poor imitation of a few dance moves. The Sheriff rolled his eyes when the young deputy regained his balanced and held the thick folder aloft in triumph.

Johnny grinned at the sight of that manila folder, bursting to the seams with records of his law-breaking days. He knew he shouldn’t be proud of such a thing, but having such a thick file meant at least he mattered enough to someone to keep track of him.

Alright, it looks like everything is in order, the Sheriff said. Johnny watched as the Sheriff’s eyes moved back and forth over the top leaf of paper and then glanced up at Mrs. Wormwood. Then his eyes hopped back down and re-read whatever had caught his attention.

Mrs. Wormwood, it says here that you’re the one who made the report? But now you’re bailing him out? Are you trying to say you were mistaken? If so, you don’t need to waste your money on him, we’ll simply walk you through it again and see if something was missed.

Surprise and a twinge of suspicion worked their way through Johnny’s thoughts and took a frightening leap as he watched the old woman smile, her pearly white teeth shining away. Her deep brown eyes twinkled as she pushed her glasses up with a gnarled, arthritis-wracked finger.

Oh, no. No mistake. Johnny here was the one. Saw him plain as day.

The Sheriff sat the folder down and closed it. Then why are you posting bail?

Mrs. Wormwood leaned towards the counter, the unmistakable perfume of someone well past their prime moving with her. Her finger tapped the counter three times, and said, Just doing my good deed for the week. Her smile turned to Johnny. Come on, I’ve got my old gal parked out front. Thought you could drive the two of us home.

Johnny soon found himself sitting behind the wheel of the piece of junk he and some boys in his neighborhood had vandalized more than a few times. He cringed as he turned the key and the engine gasped and sputtered.

Just crank it a few times, just needs a couple of tries to get going like this old lady does in the morning, Mrs. Wormwood chuckled as she patted Johnny’s arm.

It’s a miracle, Johnny thought, as the car shook, and he put it in drive.

Oh, and let’s hit the store before we get home dear, I need to pick up a few things, and I figured you’d be able to help.

Johnny threw her a look of disbelief, but simply nodded his head. He didn’t understand this particular turn of events, but he wouldn’t argue against it. It beat sitting and waiting in the jail cell.

Duck and Go was one of the town’s oldest fixtures. The family who owned it had resisted the larger, corporate grocery stores, and despite the odds, had kept a hold on it and seen it flourish for five generations. The large duck, drawn with one wing seeming to give a thumbs up, and a permanent wink on its face, loomed larger than life on the front of the store.

The parking lot was relatively empty, being the middle of the workday, as Johnny pulled into a handicapped space and parked.

Come on, dear, Mrs. Wormwood cooed as she struggled to get out of the car.

The normal reaction would have been to remain seated. Johnny never did as asked. He never came when called, he always waited, or hid, or simply did the opposite. Yet, his body moved of its own accord. He got out, moved to the other side, helped Mrs. Wormwood, and then escorted her into the store all before his brain could catch up with his body. Traitor, he thought.

It won’t take long, just need to stock up on a few things, Mrs. Wormwood said and pointed at the row of carts. Grab one of those.

Again, his body reacted, his brain struggled to follow, and he threw daggers at the back of the little old lady’s head as he worked to pull a cart free. What’d they do, cement these stupid things together, Johnny thought.

No need to be so sour, dear, Mrs. Wormwood said as she turned to watch him struggle. She snapped her fingers, and Johnny about fell flat on his backside as the cart slid out from its brethren.

Come along now, she said. Johnny glared as he swung the cart to follow her down the canned goods aisle to the back of the store.

She stopped at the meat counter and motioned for him to bring the cart closer. As she talked, he watched in growing shock and a bit of curiosity, as she stacked hamburger, steaks, roasts, and more in the cart.

It’s an easy job. I’ve lost something quite dear to me, and I would like it back. I’ve been watching you, Johnny, and I know you’ve got the instinct for this sort of thing. You retrieve what I’ve lost, and I’ll make sure charges are dropped, she paused in her zealous need for red meat and looked him square in the eyes. You do this, Johnny, and I’ll make sure you’re set for the rest of your life.

Now that was a deal too good to be true. And he’d heard them all. From the deals his father tried to sell at the used car lot, to his mom weaseling her way out of paying whatever debt collector called that month. And to the deals he’d attempted with the school bullies before shrugging that idea off and becoming one himself.

Thanks for the get out of jail free card, but no thanks. I don’t need any more trouble in this crap of a town, Johnny said. That was going to be it. His foot turned, his hips twisted, and he was already thinking about