Transform Your Speaking Skills: Gain Confidence, Captivate Audiences and Advance Your Career

Introduction

Speaking skills. Also known as: Stage presence. Social skills. Leadership. Oratorical prowess. Charisma. Animal magnetism?

It goes by many names, but we all know this quality when we see it in another human being. They speak, and we listen, eyebrows raised, leaning forward in our chairs, smiling slightly as we direct the most precious resource of the modern age toward them: our attention.

These people paint pictures with their words, tell powerful stories about themselves and other people, and make us feel like something important is happening and we’re privileged to be witnessing it. And they are rewarded handsomely for it.

These confident communicators out-earn their peers, start successful business empires, and gain credibility, recognition and praise from their customers and colleagues. We all know this, but we assume that if we weren’t born with it, we’ll never have it. I certainly used to think so. And if you’re like I was — and reading this book — chances are that on some level you believe that too. However, you may be curious and hoping to have your mind changed — thinking that if you can learn these skills, this book might help.

But before we answer the nature-versus-nurture question of how great speakers are made, it’s worth asking: why is it that good communication skills allow some individuals to rise to the upper echelons of our society, even if they aren’t (necessarily) as smart, hard-working, good-looking or otherwise advantaged as their peers?

The answer, at least in part, can be found by looking back thousands of years ago, to our days of hunting, gathering, and living in small tribes of around 150 people. During this time we were completely dependent on our fellow tribe members for survival (and they on us), but as individuals we needed to know certain things: Who could we trust? Who was a friend? Who was powerful? Who was dangerous? Who was sleeping with whom, and with whom might we be able to sleep (and thus pass on our genes)?

Good communication — effective speaking and listening — was key to answering these questions. If you noticed someone’s clenched fists and furrowed eyebrows, and so responded in a soothing tone to avoid a fight, chances are you could avoid getting your head bashed in. Not only that, but those who were able to stand up around the campfire and tell stories to other members of the tribe — about where food, water, shelter and predatory animals could be found — provided tremendous value to their group, and were therefore given status and respect.

Both of these things — navigating complex social groups, and learning how to share life-saving information — had a profound impact on our evolution. Over time, communication became essential to our success as a species, leading us to create cities, nations, and even a global community connected by technology our ancestors could never have dreamed of. But today, despite how far we’ve come, many of our instincts remain based in evolutionary psychology. Although the stories we tell and the tribes we belong to have become much bigger and more sophisticated, those who communicate well with others — especially in groups — tend to rise above the rest of the tribe. You can see it in the way we deify actors and entertainers, or elect charismatic politicians, or hire candidates who are a better culture fit than their competitors, which simply means: I like talking to them the best.

But back to our original question: can you learn how to communicate with confidence, clarity and conviction? Is the ability to move audiences with your presentations, gain recognition in your field, and become the empathetic leader you need to be within your grasp? The answer is absolutely yes, and this book is my effort to both convince you of that, and show you how.

You might identify as an introvert. You might be painfully shy. Speaking in front of more than three people might be a recurring nightmare of yours. Study after study lists public speaking as one of the biggest fears that people have. As Jerry Seinfeld has joked: Many people would rather be lying in the casket than delivering the eulogy.

But I think the problem is deeper than just glossophobia (fear of public speaking). Almost every professional I’ve worked with suffers from some sort of negative self-image, which bubbles up when they have to talk to others about themselves or their work. Impostor syndrome, stage fright, freezing up — all of these simply mean anxiety, in one form or another.

Anxiety is another evolutionary gift from our hunter–gatherer ancestors. Those humans who weren’t anxious and liked to relax would often get eaten; those who were satisfied with staying in the same territory might starve when the food ran out. All the people who survived pre-history were neurotic, paranoid, and self-doubting, and they passed those genes down to us (thanks, guys).

The great news is that, by tackling the issues of public speaking and communication, we can begin to peel back the layers of anxiety that stop us from doing so many other risky and rewarding things: starting a new business, asking for a raise, proposing, or starting therapy. I’ve had clients who have started dream jobs, dealt with painful buried memories, and grown wildly — not just as professionals, but as people — thanks in part to the process of self-discovery we went on together. My promise to you before we begin is that if you finish this book, you will gain the motivation and insight you need to really work on yourself, as well as a healthy dose of the compassion and self-acceptance we all need to grow.

So, what’s the secret to all this? Of course, there is no one secret, but like most things worth learning, good public speaking and communication happens through a process — learning the fundamentals, discovering the techniques, establishing a training regimen, and practising in front of your peers. Ideally, you should work with coaches and mentors, and along the way accept feedback and guidance — including your own. Through vocal exercises, physical warm-ups, text work and other acting techniques, journaling, meditation, story and editing exercises, real-world practice, and self-assessment — all of which I’m able to teach people in around three to five hour-long sessions — my clients are able to TRANSFORM. But only when they fully appreciate the truth:

Ideas are not enough.

It’s how you present your ideas that matters.

Anyone can have an idea, but are you the kind of person who can get other people excited about it, and convince them that you have what it takes to pull it off?

If your answer is:

Nope.

Mayyyybe..? or,

"Yeah, I think so…"

then PLEASE KEEP READING — THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU!

In addition to teaching you how to transform your speaking skills to gain confidence, captivate audiences, and grow your career, in the chapters that follow I’ll tell my own story of how I went from being an insecure, lonely, depressed and anxious actor who was barely holding on, to being the CEO of a multimillion-dollar coaching company who is recognized by other business leaders and major brands as an expert in my field. Most importantly, after making my own transformation I was able to say, for the first time in my life, I feel happy and life is good. Honestly, I never thought I’d be able to say that.

All this was made possible through the power of communication — first with myself, and then with others. I’ll share some of what I’ve been through in the hope that you might relate and feel hopeful for your future. There are so many damaging and negative things we tell ourselves that keep us from being happy, healthy and successful, but once you begin the process of letting those go, amazing things can happen.

To make you a better speaker than you ever thought possible, I’ll share with you the five Acts of the OutLoud Method that I teach all my clients, from young entrepreneurs to C-suite executives of Fortune 500 companies. These are:

• Awareness — this will open your eyes to your habits and show you how you can control the way you come across in important moments.

• Articulation — this will teach you how to tell a good story.

• Action — this will help you begin the process of practising, measuring and improving your skills in real-life situations.

• Alignment — this will allow you to uncover what is really stopping you from becoming who you want to be, emotionally and/or culturally.

• Automation — this will teach you the power of practice and give you the essential tools to practice with.

In the final chapter, you will find all you need to make your own Weekly Training Program — think of it as a workout routine for your speaking skills — so you can keep improving for the rest of your life.

You might very well ask: who am I to be telling you all of this? Fair enough. My response would be: if there’s one thing I know and am obsessed with, it’s helping people get better at public speaking.

I’ve worked all over the world teaching people to become better communicators. After a sixteen-year career as an actor, starring in films and TV shows from the age of seven and later graduating from the National Theatre School, Canada’s premier acting program, I quit the business. I started teaching English, working in Spain, and then became an entrepreneur, founding an education and coaching company in China. All of this led me to co-found my current venture, OutLoud Speakers School, which helps business professionals tell powerful stories and grow their careers and businesses.

Through OutLoud, I’ve seen people from all different walks of life and levels of confidence and education — some of whom have been through painful, traumatic experiences — transform themselves into powerful performers full of passion, precision, poise, and pretty much any other positive p-word you can think of. I’ve been invited to speak at some of the largest companies in the world, including Google, Wayfair, Ericsson and ICBC. I’ve personally coached the founders of multimillion-dollar tech companies, and helped over 3,000 professionals land their dream job, grow their business, and raise over USD$200 million in investment money. I’ve grown my company’s revenue from zero to $300,000 per year, and even been called Canada’s best pitch coach by the Waterloo Founder Institute, one of the top pre-seed accelerator programs in the world.

All of this is to say, simply — I can help you. You don’t have to feel helpless any more when speaking in front of large groups of highly educated people. You don’t have to rush through your prepared speech, dying to be done so you can get off stage or turn your video camera off. You don’t have to watch peers and colleagues surpass you on the basis of charisma and confidence alone, wishing you could get that promotion, client, or investment you need to take your career to the next level. There is a better way to approach public speaking, and I’m here to show it to you. When you’ve started working on these skills, you’ll be amazed by how much more confident you feel, how much praise you get for your presentations, and how many more opportunities come your way. It all comes from transforming your speaking skills, and that journey begins now.

AWARENESS

To start with, I want you to think about your favourite hobby for a moment.

This should be something you spend hours doing every week or month and love learning more and more about, so you that can get better at it and thus enjoy it more. It could be the guitar (that’s one of mine), or cooking (another one for me!), or woodworking (not so much), or knitting, photography, yoga — even Call of Duty or Minecraft (no judgment!).

Do you remember when you first started learning about this hobby, and began to realize what it takes to become good at it? Do you remember how ignorant you used to be compared to how much you’ve learned by now, even as you still appreciate how much further you have to go before you’re satisfied that you’ve mastered it? Isn’t it wild how much we don’t know, especially with something new?

This process of demystifying, of peeling back the layers of ignorance and brightening your headlamp in the fog of