Night Lights

Copyright © Sarah Epstein 2022

First published by Fourteen Press in 2022

All rights reserved. This book remains the copyright of the author. No part of this publication may be used, reproduced, or transmitted in any manner whatsoever without prior permission in writing from the publisher, except for brief quotations used for promotion or in reviews. Electronic versions of the book are licensed for the individual’s personal use only and may not be distributed in any form without compensation to the author. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the internet or via any other means without express permission from the publisher is illegal and punishable by law.

This story is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Cover design, hand lettering, and internal design: Sarah Epstein

Cover images: @CACTUS Creative Studio, Stocksy;

@lermannika, Depositphotos

Editor: Emily Marquart

ISBN 978 0 64533 228 5 (ebook)

ISBN 978 0 64533 229 2 (paperback)

YA fiction. #LoveOzYA.

Find out more about the author and her books at

sarahepsteinbooks.com

A guide for international readers: This book is set in Australia, and therefore uses British English spelling. Some spellings may differ from those used in American English. Please see the back of the book for a guide for international readers.

For Tony, Hugo, and Harvey.

Contents

1.NOW

2.DAY ONE

3.NOW

4.NEWSPAPER

5.DAY TWO

6.NOW

7.DAY THREE

8.CHAT

9.NOW

10.DAY FOUR

11.NEWSPAPER

12.NOW

13.DAY FIVE

14.NOW

15.DAY SIX

16.CHAT

17.NOW

18.DAY SEVEN

19.NOW

20.CHAT

21.DAY EIGHT

22.NOW

23.DAY NINE

24.NOW

25.NOW

26.NOW

27.NOW

28.NOW

29.NOW

30.NOW

31.NOW

32.NOW

Thank you for reading

A guide for international readers

Glossary of Australian terms

About the author

Also by Sarah Epstein

Also by Sarah Epstein

NOW

I’d never seen my dad scared before.

It must be why I agreed to do this. It’s the only reason I can come up with for why I chose to follow him to the car five hours ago, why I agreed to climb in and partake in whatever the hell this is. In all of my sixteen years, I’ve only ever known the unshakable slab of a man his mates call Tugger, the rough-and-ready bloke who loves a beer as much as car racing on the TV.

But at lunchtime I found him whimpering.

And shaking.

Honestly? Curiosity has driven me here as much as fear.

I needed to keep a brave face in front of Kannika when Dad barked at us to drop everything and leave the cabin immediately. My sister’s only six years old. She’d been getting antsy about the way the adults were arguing, puzzled by weird words like traitor and nutjob being hurled around. I kept assuring her things would blow over soon – grownups disagreed sometimes, and things would settle down. Just a short drive, I told her. Into town and back again. It’s what we used to do when Nika was a toddler, when croup got on top of her and she got so worked up she could barely breathe. Mum would bundle us into the car at midnight and tune into the classical music station, then drive us around and around until Nika calmed down and drifted off. I came to appreciate the lulling cocoon of our slow-moving car, the smear of traffic lights through heavy eyelids.

So I assured Nika it was okay to crawl into the back seat with nothing but her stuffed bunny in one hand and a half-eaten muesli bar in the other.

Uncle Marty would be okay, I promised. A little drive would definitely calm Dad down.

And then, wouldn’t you know it, they both went and made a liar out of me.

Come on.

I press the phone’s handset against my ear, leaning forward in my chair to peer through a gap in the curtains. The evening rain has finally moved on, leaving behind shiny roads and the monotonous tap tap tap of dripping gutters. Night is crowding in, damp and heavy, a cool mist lingering around streetlamps in orange smudges. The dank smell of wet concrete slips into our room from underneath the door.

A car slows near the motel driveway. I suck in a hopeful breath. It’s a sedan, though. Silver. Not ours, not even close. My breath seeps out of me as the car rolls on towards the intersection, fat tyres hissing on the wet road. Someone heading home for a normal dinner in their normal house with their normal family. I’m struck by a yearning so strong it makes my throat ache.

Another two rings. Still no answer.

Come on!

The motel car park isn’t full. The neon VACANCY sign is mirrored in the puddles of empty parking spaces, two letters burnt out and missing: VACA_ _Y. I almost laugh. Vacay? This doesn’t feel like a vacay in any sense of the word. It’s so far from the family holiday my parents planned it’s not even funny.

My thoughts are quickly pulled into places I don’t want them to go.

Scratching on the roof—

Grey face at the window—

The lights, the lights, the li—

I crush my eyelids shut as a shudder ripples through me. I try to focus on whatever the hell I’m supposed to do next. My parents disappeared hours ago. I have no idea when they’re coming back. Will Uncle Marty be able to find us? Is he on his way here with Scout?

Dad’s phone goes to voicemail. I hang up without leaving another message and dial Mum’s number instead.

Answer, I mutter, trying to remember if I saw either one of them grab their phones as we scrambled out of the cabin.

Owen, comes a small voice from behind me. I’m hungry.

My sister is bunched up against white pillows at one end of the bed. Her face is painted with reflections of the cartoon she’s watching on TV, contorting her features into a ghoulish dance. Blue light bounces across the polyester bedspread, up onto the wall behind the bed.

Can anyone see it from outside?

Dad doesn’t want us drawing attention to ourselves.

I peer through a crack in the curtains again. There are lights on behind other windows, a young couple smoking on the upstairs landing. We’re not conspicuous. No one knows it’s a freaked-out teenager in this room trying to figure out how he’s going to feed his little sister something more than complimentary motel biscuits.

Just a sec, Nik-nak.

I squeeze the handset so hard the plastic creaks. Mum’s phone goes to voicemail as well. I hesitate a moment after the beep.

Where are you, Mum? I keep my voice low so Nika can’t hear. "Why did you run at the service station? I don’t get what’s going on. What do I do? What should we do?"

I scan the small room with its jarring palm tree wallpaper, then take another peek out the window.

We need to go back to Wooralla and find Uncle Marty, I say. And someone’s gotta feed Scout! Can you call me at the Tropicana Motel? Or maybe it’s Motel Tropicana. I don’t know the number.

It suddenly hits me that I don’t know what town this is. Where’s my head at? Why didn’t I ask my dad before he rushed out of here after checking us in?

I scrabble for the motel’s info folder on the coffee table. Umm … it’s Motel Tropicana in Warragul. Room Eight.

Is that Mummy? Nika asks, sitting upright. She reaches for the phone. Mum-mum?

I place the handset back in the cradle and conjure up yet another lie. Mum’s okay. She had to go, but she says she’ll see us soon.

Is she bringing dinner? My mouth tastes yucky from the biscuits.

We don’t have toothbrushes or toothpaste. We don’t have clothes. I don’t have my phone, wallet, or even my asthma inhaler.

What was Dad thinking, dumping us here and taking off?

At least Nika’s hungry again after fighting off the virus she’s had for the last week and a half. If I had to deal with her puking and earaches on top of everything else, I’d probably lose the plot.

I’m not sure when Mum will get here, I explain. It might be late. I’ll see if I can buy us something from the vending machine in the meantime.

I attempt something resembling a smile. We don’t have money. And I don’t know if this motel even has a vending machine. I only hope I can keep stalling until Nika gets tired enough to fall asleep. Then I can deal with our empty stomachs in the morning.

As I turn back towards the window, I catch movement in the corner of my vision. A shadow shifts inside the pokey bathroom. The door hangs halfway open, the edge of the sink and mirror visible from where I’m seated.

My stomach tightens. I glance at my sister – a vulnerable lump beneath the bedspread – then back into the darkness beyond the bathroom door.

Something followed.

My breath catches in my throat.

How did it get in?

I lean forward in the chair, ready to scoop up Nika. My eyelid twitches and I’m forced to blink.

A shadow darts between the two double beds.

I lurch out of the chair so fast it topples behind me. Nika flinches, clutching for her bunny. I jerk around, my heart thumping against my ribcage.

There’s nothing on the floor except one of Nika’s discarded purple gumboots.

I bolt to the bathroom and shove the door open all the way, swiping my palm down the wall for the light switch. The overhead fluorescent hums to life, casting an artificial glow over the green tiles. The floor is clear, shower empty, the frosted window closed and braced with a length of wooden dowel along the sill. The boy staring back at me from the mirror looks pale and wild, pupils dilated and red hair ragged, dark rings circling both eyes.

There’s nothing here.

I do a three-sixty.

There’s nothing here!

I cram the balls of my hands into my eye sockets and rotate them in tight circles. I haven’t slept properly in days.

Owen, my sister says. What are you doing?

I drop my arms and switch off the bathroom light.

Nothing. Just thought I heard the shower dripping.

I really need to sleep tonight so I can think clearly tomorrow. Right now, I’m so wired it seems impossible.

Who else can I call? My older brother Zach is overseas, and I don’t know the phone numbers of any relatives off the top of my head. Except Uncle Marty, of course, and he’s not answering. (Why isn’t he answering?)

If I had my phone, I could try searching up some of the numbers online. My hand travels to my pocket out of habit, even though my phone is charging on the kitchen counter at the cabin. I take that phone everywhere. How did I get so swept up in the panic that I managed to leave without it?

My gaze flits towards the bathroom again.

Nothing there.

We’re safe here.

We’re safe.

Except we have no food, no money, no parents. No way of getting back to Wooralla. No way to get home to Melbourne. We moved from one desperate situation to another.

My fingers find the scrunched-up diner receipt in my pocket from a week ago. Zoey scribbled her phone number across it in red pen with a short message:

In case you get bored.

I shove the crinkled paper back into my jeans. I can’t call her, not after our last conversation. And despite how messed up this situation is, it feels disloyal to involve anyone who isn’t family.

Trailing over to the bed beside Nika’s, I sit on the edge of the mattress and kick off my shoes. We’re not going anywhere tonight.

I lie back and stare at the ceiling, replaying today’s events over in my mind, hunting for clues. Reasons. Trying to get inside my dad’s head.

We didn’t talk for most of the car ride here from Wooralla. I only managed to ask two questions before Dad shut me down.

What happened to Uncle Marty?

My words sounded feeble and unsure, worn down by the last nine days of confusion. My voice should have been stronger. Demanding. Then Dad might have given me a straight answer.

I don’t know, Dad told me, his gaze darting between the rear-view mirror and the road. I couldn’t find him.

Even from the back seat I could see the look Mum shot my father. She knew he was lying but she didn’t argue, instead bringing her hand to her mouth to gnaw the skin around her thumbnail.

Where are we going?

No more questions, Owen! Dad barked. Just let me drive.

What the hell are we running from? I wanted to shriek.

I was scared shitless of the answer.

Jesus.

Why did we leave Uncle Marty behind?

DAY ONE

Nine days ago

Turn up here, said Uncle Marty. This road coming up on the right.

I opened my eyes and lifted my head off the car window, leaving behind a cloudy smudge on the glass. A sharp pain twinged in my neck above my collarbone. How long had I been dozing? My sister’s iPad bleeped with cheerful melodies as a blur of trees rolled past the windows.

The last big town, where we’d turned off the highway to head north, was flat and semiurban. The terrain had now turned mountainous, with bushland crowding up against the road’s shoulder on both sides. Every now and then I glimpsed fields and farmhouses, a few sheep milling around a muddy dam. And then it was swallowed up by trees again. I’d always pictured Gippsland as a patchwork of flat paddocks and pastures, but as we drew closer to Baw Baw National Park, I realised we’d now reached the arse-end of the Great Dividing Range.

This place is really out of the way, Mum said, her voice tinged with uncertainty. How much further, Marty?

She turned to her brother wedged between me and Nika in the back seat. Uncle Marty was doing his best not to elbow me as he fiddled with Google Maps on his phone. He smelled of cologne and hair putty, and every now and then I caught a faint whiff of spearmint gum.

Looks to be about ten kilometres up this road, Marty said. Another fifteen minutes?

I woke up too soon. It was nice not having to think for a while. Dozing was the only thing stopping my brain from replaying the last day of term over and over in my head. I could still hear Mark Newton’s insults ringing in my ears as everyone packed up their laptops.

You’re so chickenshit, Murtagh, he’d sneered. How’s it feel to be such a pussy?

My neck grew hot as I recalled the way my classmates watched on. Could I blame them? It was always fascinating when friendships ruptured at school. It was like witnessing a train wreck in slow motion – you can’t look away. You never think it’s going to be you in that wreckage, the subject of jokes and gossip, a mangled-up cautionary tale.

It amazes me that guys use ‘pussy’ as a word to mean weak or cowardly, my friend Erin said when we were parting ways at the school gate, considering how strong pussies actually are. Mark does realise he came out of his mother’s, right? And I’m telling you, it deserves a Medal of Bravery for squeezing out that massive boofhead.

I smiled to myself now about Erin’s perspective on the world. Becoming friends with her was the best thing to come out of this whole mess. It made everything worth it.

The car jerked to the right as Dad avoided a pothole. Behind me our kelpie, Scout, gave a disgruntled woof from her dog crate in the back of the station wagon. We’d given her two short walks since leaving Melbourne, but her working dog genes meant she needed a proper run.

You’re okay, pup, I said over my shoulder. Not much longer.

She settled back onto her blanket, chin on her front paws, seemingly fed up. A headache thrummed around my temples, and I felt a sudden urge to stretch my legs myself.

When Dad announced we were heading out of Melbourne for the winter school holidays, this wasn’t exactly what I pictured. My mind jumped straight to the rolling surf of Queensland beaches. I even entertained a wild hope for one of those Fiji family package deals where kids stay and eat for free. But Dad had no interest in overseas holidays, and didn’t much enjoy travelling interstate either. Nowhere better than our own backyard, he’d always say, so why go anywhere else?

The only time he’d ever been overseas was six years ago when he and Mum travelled to Thailand to adopt Kannika. He could rattle off a list as long as your arm about everything that went wrong on that trip. Mum said it pushed Dad out of his comfort zone but holding Nika in his arms on the plane ride home had made it all worth it.

Just not enough to consider ever leaving our home state again, apparently.

I pulled out my phone and texted Erin. She’d asked for a running commentary about my creepy cabin-in-the-woods experience, especially any unsettling townsfolk and things that went bump in the night. I assured her the most horrifying thing likely to happen was being rained-in for two weeks and forced to play game after game of Monopoly. I eyed up the steel-grey clouds skimming nearby mountaintops.

Awesome. I’d managed to jinx myself.

Oooh, what’s this? said Uncle Marty, ducking his head for a better view through the windscreen. The Flying Saucer Diner.

I leaned around the front passenger seat for a glimpse of what he’d spied on the road ahead. A faded billboard poked out of the trees with the words MAIN STREET WOORALLA 5KM in bold letters across the top. As we passed the sign, I noticed the dated illustration of a smiling coffee cup balancing on top of a saucer-shaped UFO. The tagline read, Our Coffee Is Out of This World!

Okay, I love that, Marty said. He nudged me. "We’re definitely going there. Please let the diner be as perfectly retro as that sign."

With his graphic design background, Uncle Marty was always getting excited over things like vintage advertising. He once paid fifty bucks for a battered brown suitcase at a flea market because it was lined with pages from a 1950s toy catalogue. At thirty-six, Marty was eleven years younger than Mum, and even though Nan insisted his conception wasn’t a surprise or accident, he always signed her Mother’s Day cards with Love from Oops. It was a nickname my mum used for him as well, which really irritated my dad for some reason. Dad’s own brother worked at a mine in Western Australia, and the closest they’d ever come to nicknames was calling each other dickhead with a smirk.

We reached a winding section of road. A tight bend crept up on Dad and he took it too fast, throwing Marty’s weight into my shoulder.

Dude, I said, shoving him playfully. You wanna sit in my lap?

Aww, sorry, bud. He pummelled into me harder, flopping his arms and legs over me like dead weights. "Sorry. Sorry!"

I wrestled him, digging my elbow into his stomach. Scout barked, making Nika giggle.

Knock it off back there, Dad growled.

Mum shifted in her seat, murmuring, They’re all right, Mick.

I hoped Dad would lighten up once we got there. If he was in this kind of mood already, I dreaded to think how he’d be after a few beers.

After the promise of a retro diner, it was disappointing not to make it all the way into Wooralla before finding our turn-off. This new road was an unsealed track that curled up the side of a mountain, a damp soil embankment on one side and a decent drop on the other. It was getting mistier the higher we climbed, almost hiding the smattering of tin rooftops and water tanks in the town below. From here it would be a decent thirty- to forty-minute walk to the village, even longer on the way back uphill. I didn’t want to be reliant on my parents driving me everywhere, but I was kind of allergic to exercise. My brother Zach was the fitness fanatic in our house – with the gym, footy, and running, he suffered enough sweaty sack for the both of us.

Just as I was starting to think we took a wrong turn, Dad slowed next to a lopsided letterbox attached to a wooden gatepost. The word Cooee was painted on the side.

Ah! Mum said. Finally.

A gate blocked the driveway from the road, thick clumps of ferns on both sides. It seemed pretty pointless since there was no fence around the property. However, the soil embankment meant the driveway was the only way for a car to gain access – unless you were keen on four-wheel driving. Beyond the gate, the gravel driveway rambled around to the left and disappeared behind the trees. The cabin wasn’t visible from the road.

Mum moved to unbuckle her seatbelt. I’ll get the gate.

Owen will do it, Dad said, jerking his head for me to open the car door. I reluctantly climbed out just as Dad muttered, If he can manage it.

I tried to let it wash over me because it was nothing I hadn’t heard before. He was always making remarks about my puny arms and lack of stamina, grumbling about how I was always on my devices instead of getting involved in weekend sports like he did as a kid. I usually shrugged it off, but lately Dad’s words were coming across as bitter and disappointed.

When I returned to the car, I half-expected him to accelerate as I reached for the doorhandle. Zach did it to me once and Dad howled, You got him a beauty! My brother jerked forward three more times before Dad finally stopped laughing and ordered Zach to let me in or else we’d be late for school.

As we bumped our way to the top of the driveway, it fizzled into a dead end surrounded by shedding gum trees. Large strips of tree bark were strewn all over the ground and through the overgrown grass. Dad pulled up in front of a single-storey timber cabin nestled in the kind of feral scrub that was undoubtedly a hazard during bushfire season. Lichen-covered weatherboards, a rusted tin roof, gutters clogged with leaves – nature was trying to claim this structure as its own.

Okaaay… Mum said slowly, leaving it at that.

The cabin was level with the driveway at the front, and a wrap-around verandah was seemingly suspended in mid-air at the rear. A network of wooden beams and stilts beneath the cabin held it level on the sloping land.

From a distance, it could pass for a quaint ramshackle cottage with a peaked roof and steel chimney, a stack of firewood piled in an old wheelbarrow out the front. But as we climbed out of the car for a closer look, it was obvious one of the windowpanes was cracked. Another window had been boarded up with plywood, and several posts were missing from the verandah’s railing. Even the Cooee Cabin sign beside the front door was barely hanging on by a single screw.

It’s very… Marty’s voice trailed off.

Rustic, Mum finished.

I pulled out my phone to take a photo, then attached it in a text to Erin:

We’ve arrived. Middle of friggen nowhere.

I pressed Send and the words Waiting for connection appeared beneath my message. Unlike the text I’d sent ten minutes earlier, this one wasn’t going through.

Phone signal’s a bit dodgy, I said to no one in particular.

Is there wi-fi? Nika asked, clutching her iPad and stuffed bunny to her chest.

Uncle Marty snorted. I’m not sure there’s even running water, kiddo.

Dad shoved his stocky frame through the middle