Data Dating: Love, Technology, Desire

Data Dating

First published in the UK in 2021 by

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First published in the USA in 2021 by

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Data Dating

Love, Technology, Desire

Edited by

ANIA MALINOWSKA AND VALENTINA PERI

Contents

List of Figures

Acknowledgements

Introduction: Dating (the) Data and Other Intimacies

ANIA MALINOWSKA AND VALENTINA PERI

1 Wired Limerence

Technology, Commerce and the Intimacy Revolution

LAUREN ROSEWARNE

2 Love Info-Structures

Romance in a Time of Dark Data

LEE MACKINNON

3 Mediated Matchmaking

Fast Love: Temporalities of Digitized Togetherness

ANIA MALINOWSKA

4 Emotions with the Machine

‘Emotoys’: Ethics, Emotions and Empathic Technologies

ANDREW MCSTAY AND GILAD ROSNER

5 Self-Fashioning Desire

The Greatest Love of All: Recognition, Self-Love and the Imaging of Desire

DEREK CONRAD MURRAY

6 Digital Onscenities

The New Onscenity: Navigating Digital Desires in the Twenty-First-Century Pornoscape

LYNN COMELLA

7 Libidinal Techno-Scapes

The Proxemics of Digital Intimacy

KYLE MACHULIS

8 Touchless Embraces

Virtual Hugs and the Crises of Touch

DAVID PARISI

9 Sounds of Feeling

I Can Hear Your Feelings

ANDREW BLANTON

10 Interfaces of Emotional Surveillance

The Uncertainties and Anxieties of Timestamps and Read Receipts in Online Messaging

KRISTIN VEEL and NANNA BONDE THYLSTRUP

Notes on Contributors

Index

Figures

0.1: Tom Galle, John Yuyi and Moises Sanabria, Tinder VR, 2016. Acrylic print and video (documentation of the performance in NYC)

0.2: Olga Fedorova, The Myth of Female Solidarity, 2017. Lenticular print and animated GIF

0.3: Olga Fedorova, Green Room, 2017. Print

1.1: Antoine Schmitt, Deep Love, 2017. Website

1.2–1.4: Antoine Schmitt, Deep Love, 2017. Website

2.1–2.2: Zach Gage, Glaciers, 2015/2016. Electronic sculptures, custom wood enclosure, Raspberry Pi, Adafruit pervasive visions 2.7" display kit, ribbon cable extender, edimax 150mbps adaptor, 5.1v 6’ microusb power cable, 10ft premium ultraflat cat 6 patch cable, 16gb Sandisk microsd card, 12.7 × 17.8 × 5.1 cm

3.1–3.2: Adam Basanta, A Truly Magical Moment, 2016. Interactive kinetic sculpture, 2 iPhones 4S, selfie sticks, aluminium, electronics, Bluetooth chips, FaceTime video chat software, 1 m × 1 m × 1 m

3.3: Adam Basanta, A Truly Magical Moment, 2016. Interactive kinetic sculpture, 2 iPhones 4S, selfie sticks, aluminium, electronics, Bluetooth chips, FaceTime video chat software, 1 m × 1 m × 1 m

4.1: !Mediengruppe Bitnik, Ashley Madison Angels at Work, 2016. Multi-channel video installation, full-HD, 16:9, sound, 40’’ LCD screens, trolley stands, video players, cables, pink neon light (exhibition view Jusqu’ici tout va bien at CCS Paris, 2016)

4.2: !Mediengruppe Bitnik, Ashley Madison Angels at Work in London, 2017. Five channel video installation, full-HD, 16:9, sound, 40’’ LCD screens, trolley stands, video players, cables, pink neon light

5.1–5.2: Jeroen van Loon, Kill Your Darlings, 2012. Installation, 97 LCD displays, 10 USB hubs, wood, plexiglass, 120 cm × 120 cm × 18.8 cm

5.3–5.12: Jeroen van Loon, Kill Your Darlings, 2012. Installation, 97 LCD displays, 10 USB hubs, wood, plexiglass, 120 cm × 120 cm × 18.8 cm

6.1: Thomas Israël, Peeping Tom (Porn Version), 2006. Interactive installation, computer, video projector or screen, camera, specific software

6.2: Thomas Israël, Peeping Tom (Porn Version), 2006. Interactive installation, iMac, specific software

7.1: Addie Wagenknecht and Pablo Garcia, Webcam Venus (sexcutrix as La Fornarina, Raphael, 1518), 2013. Video

7.2: Addie Wagenknecht and Pablo Garcia, Webcam Venus (ricadoll as Mona Lisa – La Gioconda, Leonardo da Vinci, 1503), 2013. Video

7.3: Addie Wagenknecht and Pablo Garcia, Webcam Venus (kimisquirtx as The Venus of Urbino, Titian, 1538), 2013. Video, 02:41

7.4: Addie Wagenknecht and Pablo Garcia, Webcam Venus (lollyroo as Milkmaid, Vermeer, 1658), 2013. Video

7.5: Addie Wagenknecht and Pablo Garcia, Webcam Venus (boobz_4_play as Reclining Nude, Amedeo Modigliani, 1917), 2013. Video

7.6: Addie Wagenknecht and Pablo Garcia, Webcam Venus (frogmann as Whistlers Mother, James Abbott McNeill Whistler, 1871), 2013. Video

8.1: Tom Galle and Moises Sanabria, VR Hug, 2016. Acrylic print

9.1: Lancel/Maat, Digital Synaesthetic E.E.G. Kiss, 2016. Audiovisual performative installation

9.2: Lancel/Maat, E.E.G. Kiss Portrait, 2018. Print

9.3: Lancel/Maat, Digital Synaesthetic, E.E.G. Kiss Portrait, 2016. Audiovisual performative installation, frascati Theaters

10.1: Tom Galle and John Yuyi, Face Messenger, 2016. Acrylic print

10.2: Illustration from Klassen 2012 et al. Patent No.: US8,301,713B2

Acknowledgements

We owe a sincere gratitude to many people, institutions and experiences that inspired and supported the book’s gestation. First, we would like to thank Galerie Charlot and its founder Valérie Hasson-Benillouche for hosting the Data Dating exhibition in Paris and Tel Aviv and for supporting our efforts to extend the exhibition’s ideas beyond the gallery space. A big thank you to the Polish-US Fulbright Commission for sponsoring part of the book-related research and to the New School in New York for hosting Ania’s research project that significantly influenced the book’s development. We would like to thank all our contributors – artists and authors – for their trust, commitment and patience.

From Valentina Peri, a deep expression of gratitude to ZKM in Karlsruhe and curator Lívia Nolasco-Rózsás for inviting her to present the ideas of Data Dating in the framework of the exhibition project Open Codes; to Watermans in London and its head of new media art Klio Krajewska for hosting the Data Dating exhibition; to professor Manuela de Barros at University of Paris VIII for organizing the lecture Data Dating. Love in the Age of Internet as part of the Sciences & Fictions cycle and to her family, friends and collaborators for their affection, encouragement and support (you know who you are). A special thanks to Ania Malinowska for her unrelenting optimism and perseverance throughout the process of book production. And from Ania to Valentina Peri for her impressive professionalism, artistic insight and invaluable support and to anyone who has offered assistance and aid to the book at private and institutional levels.

Figure 0.1: (pages x–xi): Tom Galle, John Yuyi and Moises Sanabria, Tinder VR, 2016. Acrylic print and video (documentation of the performance in NYC). Courtesy of the artists.

Introduction: Dating (the) Data and Other Intimacies

ANIA MALINOWSKA. VALENTINA PERI

What does it mean to love in the age of the internet? How are digital interfaces reshaping human interactions? What implications do new technologies carry for the future of our romantic relationships? How does mediation affect our sexual conduct? Or to be more specific, how do screens, gadgets, add-ons, platforms, wearables and other high-tech media artefacts – including technological subjects, like (ro)bots – determine emotional and intimate behaviours that are clearly being remodelled to the demand of new communication formats? Are new digital technologies shifting the old paradigms of love and erotic expression? And with respect to that, can we talk about a change in the ways we practice love or rather we should speak about reformulations of the age-old codes of loving under the new media regimes?

Those questions have been in the landscape since the advent of online media. They became hot-button in March 2020, when a global pandemic placed millions of people under the coercion of a total lockdown, enforcing a transfer of most of our activities to the virtual plane. From online working to online teaching to online voting, humans all over the planet manoeuvred the discontents of social distancing, trying to live the no-contact reality as the new normal. Inefficient for all the ways of living, those efforts turned out particularly futile for intimate interactions: hookups and dating, inspiring both frustration and failed inventiveness. The follow-up debates about the future of romance inquired after the role of technology for human relations in circumstances when the non-contact status is not an alternative but a default. At the same time – as if in response to those discussions – Shinoda and Makino Lab at the University of Tokyo announced the release of the first haptoclones – touchable holograms that enable human interactions at long distances without any equipment. The holograms are likely to revolutionize online communication by allowing touching through haptics across the continents. They also present themselves as solution for social distancing or physical separation – pressured or self- imposed. But will they preserve the essence of contact that makes all forms of emotional and intimate bonding a truly magical experience?

DATING

Modern cultural theory censures high technologies for diluting and corrupting ‘the event of a human encounter’. The culprits are social platforms and the computational control of a meet-up. Badiou (2012, 2017), who writes extensively about the collapse of loving under the protocols of online dating, claims that zero-risk policy, exerted by socially and psychologically biased profiling for an impeccably accurate match, has flattened the romantic pursuit. What sabotages it even further is the culture of sameness bred on ‘app-template individualism’ and ‘marketable privacy’. Bauman (2003) speaks of the destructive unification of romance. As the mystery and alterity have disappeared from dating, love has yielded to the pre-eminence of availability and self-presentation. In The Agony of Eros (2017), Byung-Chul Han explains that contemporary technologies transform togetherness – understood as the desire to form a ‘we’ – into a pleasant symbiosis of self-invested display (a form of ‘reciprocal narcissism’). Media environments, Han explains, encourage narcissistic preoccupation with self to the point of killing self’s interest in/for the Other. In the media and tech environment, romance is believed to be primarily a scene for achievement rather than exchange; in that scene, the self defines itself for another by means of self-presentation (that is by means of what is possible for the self in terms of fashioning it-self for display).

Some media theorists counterbalance that view with claims about the possibility of ‘navigat[ing] a world saturated with opportunities for social connections […] without losing sight of one’s self and of losing the sight of others’ (Papacharissi 2018: n.pag.). There is a conviction that ‘technology can help us reimagine and reinvent how we understand love and life’ (Papacharissi 2018: n.pag.). As a major site of practicing togetherness, romance needs reinvention, especially in how it dominates the expression of loving and its social legitimacy. This is the more urgent as all the elements of romance’s excitement and drama are being transferred to technological environments with the hope for better efficiency (see Berlant 2012). Technology unveils the cultural flaws of romantic love. It also unveils the futility of hopes bestowed on the devices and gadgets by means of which we seek the magic of love. As Zizi Papacharissi observes,

[t]ools cannot store bonds that are lost, cannot invent bonds that do not already exist, nor can they restore bonds that are frail. Tinder does not deliver bonds. Match.com does not construct relationships. Facebook does not cure loneliness. Instagram does not make one authentic. We must learn to live with the frailty and insecurity of human existence first, in order to figure out how technology can help us. Love is unpredictable, as it should be, otherwise, where is the charm? Technology cannot predict love, algorithms cannot render it out of databased profiles, and platforms cannot fix love that is broken. All love stories have a beginning and an end, and technology does not grant them the kiss of eternity. (2018: n.pag.)

That we cannot know. What we do know is that one in five couples today meet through a dating website. Over 240 million people worldwide use online dating – a number likely to increase in the next decade. That means a potential for profit and an extensive collection of users’ data. Dating and hookup applications make the most profitable business in the future of the internet – next to the gaming industry. As of today, romance platforms are ranking third among paid content sites online, outpacing pornography. There is a likelihood of the change in their business model towards recreational romance – an endeavour reflected in the business’ preoccupation with bots and artificial assistants. Companion robots and IOS are one of the most rapidly growing branches of robotics. Three in five men would consider a fling with a technologically generated lover. A major shift in our understanding of love is that ‘romantic script’ can be recreated algorithmically. The roles that people feel they play in romance and that are available for them to perform are reducible to patterns supported by various technologies – organic and artificial, analogue and digital. As Dominic Pettman explains,

The temptation is to think of love as an intrinsically organic occasion […]. But […] all sorts of ‘instruments’ are required to fuse love back with their (literal) other half [:] the architectural mise-en-scène, clothing, cosmetics, cooking, language, techniques of the body, and so on. Humans are saturated by technics, and love is essentially a matter of communication media. […] it needs technology to do so; whether this is poetry, texting, or Tantra. (2018: 13)

What is, however, peculiar about our times is that they offer a clash of human technicity with the technicity of smart machines. It shows in a constant friction of temporalities (social time vs. digital time), intelligences (computational artificial intelligence vs. human intelligence), environments (online vs. offline) and modalities of presence (logged in vs. unlogged). Those polarities generate frustrations that we try to overcome by emulating the ‘human way’ onto the machines. Expecting a robot to love like a human is, however, feasible as long as the machine does not hack the coding. Once it does, we cannot be certain of the nature of their sentience, which may not align with our own. Even if much of how we love is founded on ‘codes’, not all love processes can be reproduced with algorithms inside artificial entities that interact with the world. Once inside a machine, those algorithms may develop beyond the expected effect, producing new forms of intimacy. Perhaps when Deep Love replaces Deep Learning, technological minds become Artificial Loves (and not only Artificial Intelligences). Our task is to embrace this possibility by fathoming the nature and goals beyond sensationalism and anthropomorphic projections.

Data

This book adopts two critical perspectives: artistic and academic. It gathers new media art works from the Data Dating exhibition and theoretical essays from top experts in the field of new media and cultural studies. Preoccupied with the questions of love and technology, it takes those questions away from the polarities of techno-scepticism and techno-enthusiasm and revisits ways in which society is responding to the challenges of technology through connections between emotion, desire, culture, artificial intelligences, digital systems and economy. Organized in ten chapters themed after the economical, psychological, sociological and technological aspects of practicing romance, the book reflects on the structure of feeling(s) and libido environments of contemporary technocracies. The focus is on the problems of new material planes that have emerged from the abstraction of networked communication and virtual landscapes. These are the landscapes where fantasy, fetish and emotions are being shaped by platform capitalism, datafication and new commodity cultures and where self-promotion for coupling nests on the possibilities that come with new media self-mediation formats. Central to the analysis is the carbon-silicon dynamics of love’s contemporary DNA and libidinal techne (see Pettman 2006, 2020) as practiced in the environment where screens, interfaces, algorithms, data protocols and non-organic objects of affection delineate, organize and program the trajectories of emotional encounter, limerence and erotic pleasure.

The perspectives followed in the book do not limit the understanding of love to romance or adult pleasures. Love is treated here as the entirety of an emotional endeavour by means of which we connect intimately across needs, feelings and imageries. Those connections require reaching out to another as much reaching out to the self. How those two are reconciled and compromised in a digitally organized life is a concern of both the artistic exploration covered in the book as well as the critical analysis that extends it. Both of the perspectives critically engage with broader debates on the condition of loving today. However, their themes and areas of critique go beyond the high modern epistemologies of pre-digital and post-digital periodization. Instead, they trace the old social, cultural and psychological patterns of love in the high-tech environments of living to see what happens to those patterns and how they work in the new material reality of digitalism. Most focus is dedicated to the datafication of intimacy, strategies of self-presentation, the kinesis of mediated encounters, digital voyeurism (looking with the media), technological transcriptions of feelings and codification of emotions, virtualizing love discourses, online archives of intimacy and strategies for emotional surveillance. There is also concentration on the actual devices, services and technological objects we use to connect intimately or emotionally and whose meta-forms and meta-functions are being mirrored in the installations, art experiments, high-tech inspired conceptual presentations and other new media artwork that organizes the concentration’s thematic and methodological choices.

The book’s themes and methods were first rehearsed in the Data Dating exhibition – a new media art group show curated by Valentina Peri, exploring new directions of modern romance and sexual identities that this book takes up for further scrutiny (see also datadating.online). The exhibition has been presented at Galerie Charlot in Paris (2018) and Tel Aviv (2019) and at Watermans in London (2020) and continues showing with other contemporary art venues internationally. The featured artists – !Mediengruppe Bitnik, Adam Basanta, Olga Fedorova, Zach Gage, Tom Galle, Thomas Israël, Moises Sanabria, Antoine Schmitt, Jeroen van Loon, Addie Wagenknecht & Pablo Garcia, John Yuyi and Lancel and Maat¹ – offer a number of emblematic insights into the role of new technologies for human emotional engagements, reminding us of the importance of empirical criticism that comes from critically aware practical (menial, physical, spatial, etc.) interactions with the objects of critique – something that the arts do best and something that meta-research invariably misses.

According to some media coverage², the exhibition oozes exceptional timeliness. Especially in how it resolves the generational bias over the ways we practice romance these days– a feature attended to by a blogger and digital native Salvia Moon (2020). She wrote, ‘[the] state- of-the-art, hyperdigital exhibit […] could easily be branded as a millennial thing. But perhaps it’s a sign of the times; as the internet’s sheer penetrative power comes to feel like a fundamental feature of the human condition, we’re no longer able to classify digital romance as a discrete generational phenomenon’. French Libération (2018) highlighted the experimental level of the artworks included in the show to imply on our own ever ‘trial and error’ interactions with technology: ‘Valentina Peri conceived the exhibition as a form of exploration of emerging practices and current do-it-yourself projects which even the new generations do not always master the rules. [This is] a learning process, […] which makes the artists’ work all the more interesting: their creations both anticipate and question future sentimental and/or sexual practices’.

Other Intimacies

The vehicle of the book is the intimate dynamics between the artworks, the artists, the authors and the issues that they all expose and explain. Its major drive, however, is almost libidinal and perverse variety in approaching the same problem and the desire to showing two (or more) sides of one coin even if only for the sake of flipping the perspective.

It starts with an overview of the social codes of romance reflected in automated systems (e.g. platforms). Lauren Rosewarne explains it with an outline of the technological revolution of romance in the macrocosm of online dating to show how emotions and personalities tether to platforms for the formation and consumption of new affective styles and ‘limerent’ trends. What makes sexting, tuning, cushioning and other mediated hookup baits so appealing is the easy immediacy of affectionate interest they invariably grant. There is nothing more attractive than the instant ‘I love you’. Antoine Schmitt’s website installation Deep Love illustrates this with a visual metaphor of affective unconditionality materialized in a programmed chatbot that is always there for you with a confession.

Chapter 2 continues with a debate on data and their infrastructures as inspired by Zach Gage’s Glaciers. This conceptual electronic sculpture, digging into the idea of autocomplete: a browser feature offering fixed phrasing for online searches, invites thoughts about the instability and structured-ness of information, especially their influences on our choices and the contemporary modalities of thinking. Lee MacKinnon’s follow-up examination of dark data links this with the liquid nature of human intimacy and the exploitation of love under the market-oriented transfer of desire across dating services. Determined by the selection and flow of data, the game of love yields to the demands of efficacy. Both information formats and online time-space environments of online interactions comply with the strategies for maximizing effects – something that has always been part of romantic pursuits and something that Ania Malinowska reviews in Chapter 3 when talking about human–machine temporalities. Drawing on the concept of digitally mediated togetherness, both Malinowska’s feature on fast love and Adam Basanta’s kinetic installation A Truly Magical Moment account for time and space travels granted by the virtual environment of communication media. The influence of those environments on romance shows in the eagerness with which we choose virtuality and mediation to encompass a number of social, physical and technological dimensions and enjoy immediacy – across time zones and busy schedules – that negotiates our ability to manoeuvre technological spaces.

A different aspect of our co-existence with technological systems is discussed in Andrew McStay and Gilad Rosener’s analysis of empathic machines in Chapter 4. By asking what it means to feel with a robot – which they explore on the basis of children’s interactions with emotive toys, the authors guide us through the working of empathic technologies outside to the romantic contexts, shedding some light on how those early emotional interactions with emotionally responsive automata may condition us for the future. This is particularly precious for understanding adult interactions with robotic partners and companions as depicted in Ashley Madison at Work by !Mediengruppe Bitnik – a video installation that playfully comments upon the scandal over a hookup platform manned by bots. Most of the time, we are not even aware that those we interact with are not humans – like the users of Ashley Madison services who, looking for people, were duped by the robots to the point of taking them for real human beings. It is either we lose our sense for a ‘tangible presence’ or the tangible presence of another is no longer of importance. What counts, perhaps, is the access to interactive fantasy and the illusion of visibility that platforms and devices create for us. As noted in Chapter 5, desire today is all about self-love and the mediation of image. In other words, our main interest is with the presentability of the self to the ‘attention-obliging’ virtual void. Either for a hookup (on Tinder) or for polemic (on Twitter), we throw ourselves to the global network to widely and safely (under the protection of physical absence) test the potential of our social presence. Kill Your Darlings by Jeroen Van Loon, an installation inspired by Twitter and social media youth cultures – examines this in relation to platform violence in young adults. As a major space for interaction, that is, space where young adults form and conduct relationships (be it love or friendship), platforms are a new environment for Bildungsroman – narrating the self. In this space, tweets, shares, texts, posts work as character tools with which the platform participants mould their life persona. Derek C. Murray examines it broadly in a cross- cultural context where platforms serve also for mediating and modernizing racial and ethnic differences and negotiating non-western cultural styles.

Chapter 6 discusses the balance of display and visibility through the changing notion of the obscene – once associated with pornography and today with social presence and belonging. Nudes are no longer the core of the voyeuristic desire. Intimacy is not that much about the organs but about the orchestration of private modes of presentation – now more amateur than ever and perhaps so intuitively primal. Being looked at seems to be more of an appeal than looking at. Peeping Tom (Porn Version) by Thomas Israël grasps that preference in a video installation broadcasting an obtrusive eye – the organ of penetration in the era when physical contact gains different senses. Lynn Comella traces the change in her analysis of the new obscene that emerged with the forms of mediating pornography. A key to understanding obscenity and its related intimacy today is understating the shift in our perception of proximity and what distance means in the environment where physical immediacy is separated with screens, camera lenses, interfaces, etc. As shown in Chapter 7, mediation affects our reactions to space and alter our behaviours. In mediated interactions, we are either bolder, less tuned up, or bolder and totally overdone. Addie Wagenknecht and Pablo Garcia picture that in Webcam Venus – a media-art social experiment with sexcam performers who were asked to pose after a chosen classic painting. Not only does it provide an insight into broadcasted intimacy but also portrays styles of reconciling private lives and sex work. Kyle Machulis explains it in the analysis of digital proxemics that provides an understanding of how people perceive the inhabitants and features of virtual space in romantic and intimate relationships. The follow-up Chapter 8 extends this with David Parisi’s study of haptic media based on hug t-shirts and other touch technologies – the phenomenon also presented, quite ironically, in VR Hug by Tom Galle and Moises Sanabria. Hug t-shirts represent a tactile technology believed to materialize physical contact in virtual interactions. Parisi’s contribution explains the infrastructure of transmitting hugs, the semiotics of encoding digital embraces and the role of networked affective communication in what we may term ‘the general crisis of touch’.

Chapter 9 puts in words how touch – so far translated into signals and vibrations to transmit physical presence – is also translated into sound. EEG KISS by Lancel & Maat, a science-ridden audio-visual performance, presents technological solutions for sonifying an act of kissing and representing it with music and image. Sound expert Andrew Blanton articulates the working of the experiment, giving us another insight into how technology feels us and how we feel it in response.

The concluding Chapter 10 discusses social surveillance and the importance of control in romantic relationships, elucidating the discontents of wired togetherness. As Nanna Bonde Thylstrup and Kristin Veel explain in their account of time and geostamps, the penchant for monitoring behaviours of our significant others and knowing their moves has always been a vital part of the game of love. But never have