Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    From $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Safe From the Pain: Out of the Darkness Into a Life That's Free, Happy, and Good
    Safe From the Pain: Out of the Darkness Into a Life That's Free, Happy, and Good
    Safe From the Pain: Out of the Darkness Into a Life That's Free, Happy, and Good
    Ebook94 pages1 hour

    Safe From the Pain: Out of the Darkness Into a Life That's Free, Happy, and Good

    By Poonam Bhuchar

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Surviving sexual assault, attempted suicide, an arranged marriage, and divorce is one thing. Processing all that pain so you can live a full life after is something entirely different.
     

    In the shadows of emotional pain, survival can take priority over healing. Lasting reverberations of traumatic experiences or post-traumatic stress disorder can cripple decision-making skills, creep into relationships, and leave scars on the people you love.

    Peace and empowerment after trauma are possible—when you embrace your pain as part of your story.

    After her trauma, Poonam Bhuchar reemerged as a healed survivor and reclaimed her power. Part spiritual memoir, part self-help revelation, SAFE from the Pain pairs Bhuchar's inspiring story with the transformational secret of the SAFE Method to guide you through the darkness of your pain and into the safety of a healthy, happy life.

    You'll learn:

    • Four steps of the SAFE method to stop ignoring pain, work through emotions, and regain control.
    • The impacts of stress from emotional pain on every aspect of life, including your family, children, body, and self-worth.
    • How to overcome your victim mindset and accept responsibility—because ownership leads to action.
    • Three types of forgiveness for freedom from society's expectations, cultural beliefs, and your own judgments.
    • Why embracing your journey is essential to happiness, a bigger life purpose, and alignment with your true self.
       

    You can't move forward if you live in the past. Get SAFE from the Pain to transcend the darkness of pain and illuminate your way to the beautiful life waiting on the other side.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherRI Publishing, Inc.
    Release dateJan 6, 2022
    ISBN9781737923817
    Safe From the Pain: Out of the Darkness Into a Life That's Free, Happy, and Good

    Related to Safe From the Pain

    Related ebooks

    Meditation and Stress Management For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • UNLIMITED

      How To Overcome Trauma

      Feb 16, 2021

      MANY OF FEEL TRAUMATISED by the threat and repercussions of the pandemic – how they shape our experience of the present and what they may represent for the future. Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events t

      1 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      The Spectrum of Love

      Aug 28, 2020

      The Spectrum of Love
      8 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Making A Fresh Start

      May 4, 2022

      Making A Fresh Start
      3 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Learn to TRUST YOURSELF

      Sep 29, 2023

      Learn to TRUST YOURSELF
      2 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Emotional Control

      Jun 16, 2021

      Emotional Control
      3 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Weightlessness

      Mar 26, 2020

      Weightlessness
      3 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Create Space for Joy

      Jun 14, 2022

      Create Space for Joy
      1 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      What Exactly is Trauma Bonding?

      Apr 6, 2022

      What Exactly is Trauma Bonding?
      4 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      A Lesson Learnt

      Oct 15, 2021

      A Lesson Learnt
      1 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      My Journey To Self-compassion

      Aug 11, 2020

      My Journey To Self-compassion
      2 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      How To Make Better Choices During Uncertainty

      Apr 29, 2020

      • Count your blessings. Look at what have rather than what you may have lost or missed out on, as this helps lower emotion and brings you into a more rational headspace. • Think in three time frames. Ask yourself what the impact of your decision will

      1 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      3 Ways to Be Kind to Yourself When You’re Feeling Blue

      Jun 29, 2021

      When we feel low, our perspective on life can shift. A painful moment can cause us to see the world as hideous. Why not turn this darkly charged moment into a reminder to tune in to beauty? As we look for beauty, we may find many lovely things to soo

      1 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Shine Bright

      Mar 31, 2020

      Shine Bright
      5 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      4 Steps To Happiness

      Jul 10, 2020

      YOU HAVE AROUND 60-80,000 thoughts per day, according to neuroscientific research. Some of the research indicates that as much as 60 and 70 per cent of thought content can be negative in nature. It’s important to understand that most of your thoughts

      3 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Where Is The Love ?

      Sep 11, 2019

      Where Is The Love ?
      1 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      Do We Really All Need Therapy?

      Aug 10, 2022

      Do We Really All Need Therapy?
      10 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      THERAPY worked FOR US…

      Oct 20, 2022

      THERAPY worked FOR US…
      6 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      3 Care For Yourself

      Oct 25, 2022

      Feeling secure and comfortable with yourself helps you to interact well with others and be open to new experiences. It’s all too common for women to put themselves to the bottom of the priority list, perhaps moaning from time to time about how we loo

      1 min read

    • UNLIMITED

      The Gift Of Intimacy

      Dec 15, 2019

      The Gift Of Intimacy
      4 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Safe From the Pain

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Safe From the Pain - Poonam Bhuchar

      CHAPTER 1

      Creating Our Own Lives

      I am grateful for all the mistakes that I have made in life because they have led me to discover who I am and the true beauty of this life.

      Practically from birth, society teaches us that it is acceptable to discuss physical pain and treat it. But even in the twenty-first century, we still shy away from discussing or acknowledging, let alone treating, the emotional pain we carry. Our culture and circumstances teach us to keep our pain hidden. As a result, we bury it within us and fool ourselves into believing that we are okay. That our pain is normal. That we simply have to shove it down, ignore it, and move on with our lives.

      We are not taught how to deal with emotional pain, so it chokes us like a weed chokes a flower. We often become so numb to the pain inside us that we don’t even acknowledge it exists. We might numb it with different vices or learn to shut down those parts of ourselves that hurt—both methods, and everything in between, can leave devastation in their wake. To truly move beyond what hurts us, we have to acknowledge the pain and deal with it. Trust me, I know.

      I’ve been through it.

      From childhood sexual assault to an arranged marriage to divorce and more, I know emotional trauma. But I also know there’s a way out of the darkness. I know life can be rich, happy, and good. And I want to help you get there too.

      About two years ago, I started talking about my life story. My goal has always been to stop at least one person from feeling the way I did. If I do that, it will all be worth it. Since then, I have held one-on-one sessions with people and given talks on a local level. As the message began to resonate, I started doing webinars too. Emotional pain happens to all of us across all walks of life—I’m on a mission to help others cope with it.

      Today, I have so much that I could worry about. I am a single mother of two teenage children, and I own a small law firm. Yet, I live my life in the most stress-free way possible.

      After a yearslong spiritual journey, I devised the SAFE method, which helps me work through everyday problems and thrive in the life I’ve built. I learned how to align with my true self and pursue what is right for me—from the decisions I make to the actions I take to how I choose to feel. I’m not sharing my story to disparage the people who’ve hurt me but to help others who have been hurt realize there is a way out of the darkness. For too long, I ignored my own pain, doubts, and desires. I found myself in situations I didn’t know how to escape. I felt like a failure. But it’s never too late to begin working through your pain. I promise life is better on the other side.

      I’ll begin by telling you my story, taking you along as I made a series of choices that set me on a path to an interesting life. At times, it may look like I dug myself into a deep, dark hole in the ground, but bear with me as I show you how I climbed out and how you can too.

      CHAPTER 2

      Beginning of the Pain

      I know for sure that you can’t give what you don’t have. If you allow yourself to be depleted to the point where your emotional and spiritual tank is empty and you’re running on fumes of habit, everybody loses. Especially you.

      –Oprah Winfrey¹

      I grew up in London to first-generation immigrant parents from India. They both worked extremely hard to provide for me and my two brothers, pulling long hours and doing shift work. Even so, they always managed to be there for us. They worked it out so that one of them was always home with us while the other was away.

      They left India for England to offer us a better life, but they still cherished their culture. They didn’t want us to lose parts of our heritage just because we didn’t live in India.

      As the oldest daughter, I felt a lot of pressure to live up to their hopes and expectations. With every fiber of my being, I felt obliged to preserve our family’s reputation. There was a path I was supposed to follow.

      The perfect Indian girl living in England was supposed to study hard in school and get good grades. She was supposed to abide by family traditions. She wasn’t supposed to go out much with her friends, let alone with any boys. She was supposed to get a good education so she could marry into a good household. Then she was supposed to nurture and tend to her family.

      I certainly felt that pressure growing up. The first time I remember feeling tension around the subject of marriage, I was about 10 or 11 years old. I was supposed to get married to a good Indian man and have good Indian children. I was supposed to cook and keep a clean, orderly house. I wish I could tell you that someone was standing over me and telling me these things, but it wasn’t that way. It was a pressure that was felt culturally and through seeing the way things were done around me.

      My own dreams, desires, and wants weren’t that important. Sure, I could go to school and even have a career culturally approved of, but I understood my highest calling was to be there for my family. I didn’t really know what I wanted out of life. I only knew what the expectations were, and I badly wanted to please my parents and make them proud.

      I don’t fault my parents for this cultural pressure at all. They were raised the same way and didn’t know any different. Now that I’m a parent, I understand more than ever the pressure that was on them. They got married and left India to build another life. They were the only children who left India in both of their families, so all eyes were on them as they navigated this new world.

      My mom came to the UK with £3 to her name. That’s about $4 today. She had to figure out how to live in a new country with nothing, and she was pregnant with me within the first year. Later, I would come to understand how terrifying it is to try to raise a family in a country that isn’t yet your home with only a few loved ones around to support you. My parents did even more than that: they figured out how to survive in a country that had a different culture and a different language.

      Especially in those early years, money was tight. But my mom and dad went to great lengths to ensure we had the best things in life. My mom worked the night shift as a nurse over the weekends so that she could be there for us during the day. Twice a year, Dad would pick my mom up from

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1