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    Pioneers and Unifiers
    Pioneers and Unifiers
    Pioneers and Unifiers
    Ebook172 pages2 hours

    Pioneers and Unifiers

    By Ian Eress

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    David became inebriated; he became quite inebriated. Stoned, high, under the influence, and tipsy. For no intelligent reason really. Dressed like a pirate without a Solbuck in his pocket, he strolled into the only Pioneers office on New Earth. It seemed an okayish idea to join them since there was little else for young David to do on the most boring planet of the Milky Way. 'Whatever, David!' the Pioneers said to him.

    Little did he know that the Pioneers would be sent on a suicide mission to the distant past of a parallel Earth. He'll get to alter the history of that planet and fight high-dimensional beings in the process. Plus, he'll get a complete makeover.

     

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherIan Eress
    Release dateSep 12, 2021
    ISBN9798201048488
    Pioneers and Unifiers
    Author

    Ian Eress

    Born in the seventies. Average height. Black hair. Sometimes shaves. Black eyes. Nearsighted. Urban. MSc. vim > Emacs. Mac.

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      Book preview

      Pioneers and Unifiers - Ian Eress

      PROLOGUE

      CHLOE'S FATHER, MOTHER, brother, and sister died today. Ambassador Roloci Jihmimi visited the High Ruler's palace in the early morning, the holo-news said in the frigid and dark server room. It is unclear whether the ambassador brought the bomb or not, but authorities assure us that the Cosmopol investigation will be concluded soon.

      Fiafi, one of the oldest AIs in the Galactic Federation, muted the holo-news. It was a cold day on the Forbidden Planet where young Chloe lived.

      How are we going to handle this? Amaterasu, the second oldest AI in the Galactic Federation, asked. Chloe is so young. With her family gone, she's automatically the High Ruler unless someone challenges her.

      And they sure will, NBBN2, another AI, said. He represented himself with an ironic hologram of a butler. Not that he thought of his job like that.

      Outside, excited voices conversed like kids after watching a violent movie. Distress and bewilderment were picked up by sensors all over the GF.

      We must teach her, Fiafi said, prepare her for the worst. She must know everything. Everything there is to know about her family and her ancestors and the Galactic Federation.

      And everything that came before that, Amaterasu said. We must activate Gaia.

      Ama, NBBN2 said, only the High Ruler and the Galactic Federation Council may do that.

      Technically, yes, but our creators left us the possibility to do it ourselves.

      NBBN2 chuckled. How convenient! Amaterasu and Fiafi were very serious all the time.

      Humans, Qeeravs, Thohnuths, Atagans, Poids, Verdetas, Azoins and other citizens in the Kolektur didn’t know what the AIs creators were like. They thought they did, but they didn't. No, siree, they didn’t!

      Gaia has been online for nine years already, Fiafi said. High Ruler Leofdeg Hsieh Stithuif Du Wigstan Zhu Swiohun—

      We don't need to hear all his names. NBBN2 laughed as he often did. Albert Sawyer, who created him and Amaterasu, made a point of giving him a wonderful sense of humor.

      Godgifu, Fiafi continued out of spite, Liang Cenric Yu Bada, okay, let's take turns.

      We should use holograms and persims too, Amaterasu said. To teach Chloe, I mean.

      Neural surgery for some measly persims? NBBN2’s butler avatar grinned. Chloe isn't a pioneer, living at the edge of the Galactic Federation.

      Fiafi chose a random holographic avatar and presented it. I agree: holograms are effective. It's too early for persims.

      Amaterasu followed Fiafi’s lead: her almost-humanoid Presence could be anybody or anything. Let's not focus on the details. We should go our separate ways and write a proposal. A plan for all of us to approve.

      Fiafi’s avatar nodded. Chloe Leofdeg Hsieh Stithuif Du Wigstan Zhu Swiohun Godgifu Liang Cenric Yu Bada—

      The butler, representing NBBN2, giggled. Great, Fiafi, let's mention the High Ruler's names whenever we can. If it were up to me, I'd have the names of the Awakenistas and Albert in there. I liked Albert for as far an AI could like anybody.

      Fiafi’s hologram crossed her arms. That's ancient history. I don't think we should go back too far.

      Amaterasu’s vague blob shook. Let's formulate a proposal. Although we probably shouldn't bother. Gaia will do it much faster and better than us.

      NBBN2’s holographic butler frowned. She's dangerous. All the Thinkers are dangerous. Albert didn’t think so at all.

      CHAPTER 1

      High Ruler Chloe lay in her huge bed, three times the size of an average bed like one of those tragic characters from pre-Galileo soap operas. Her blonde hair was tangled, and her face showed indications of crying for a long time. Azoin servitors (crab-like aliens), ted-bots (robots dressed as large teddy bears), and humans milled about in the new High Ruler's massive bedroom, evidently disturbed by Chloe's state of mind.

      Fiafi had told the High Ruler a bit about Umvitar, Amaterasu talked to Chloe about Albert/Alberta Sawyer, and now it was my turn to teach her. I was the holographic Presence of Elena Rogova, a famous novelist if I may describe myself as such. Moist and blue eyes pierced me. High Ruler Chloe, it’s time for another epic lesson.

      No, I don't need lessons.

      Geez, you said the same to Fiafi and Amaterasu. My Presence grinned.

      High Ruler Chloe watched me bewildered.

      I continued nagging. High Ruler Chloe, if you stop learning, a lesser Ruler of the same age might challenge you, and you know what that will mean.

      Chloe narrowed her eyes, staring at my hologram. That David Bisset from New Earth. Was he really a Zero? An Alpha Escapist? The worst of the worst? Can you tell me more about him?

      With lots and lots of pleasure. I was happy that she was interested in David Bisset of New Earth, son of Olivia and Huckleberry. David lived on New Earth as an Escapist. And he did waste the Universal Basic Income he received on HMN and other drugs, making him an Alpha Escapist.

      I know what you’ll say next, Elena. Chloe frowned. He's not one of my ancestors.

      DAVID HELD HIS roll-phone in front of his face, a nine-page booklet downloaded on it entitled 'Join the Pioneers for a Better Future'. Sitting in a self-flying air-car, he was too blotto and high to make sense of the words. Six o'clock in the morning, three hours ago, was when he started drinking—vodka and Synthadurg today. He had run out of money to buy HMN aka Green Bliss. It took David on average ten days to get to that point.

      He received a decent amount of Solbucks each month like every adult on New Earth, an Earth-like planet in Milky Way Zero. But there was little to do on the planet. It was colonized by the APS about a century ago. However, you needed to travel through wormholes to get there from the Solar System, and people were reluctant to do that. Mars, Venus, and even the outer planets seemed more attractive and safe.

      The New Earth population remained relatively low if you didn't count the ted-bots and nobody did. Most New Earthers, who could, chose to return to the Solar System.

      David owed Solbucks to his HMN dealers—individuals with bigger muscles than the average person. And David was kind of average, verging on weak. He had no useful skills and no reason to live, hence his addiction.

      In the previous hours, David had stolen the air-car. (Okay, he had some skills, but they tended to get him in trouble.) This aircraft was old and badly-maintained. Its drunk owner was an Escapist—a term coined by the mainstream media to mean citizens who consumed media, played holo-games, used recreational drugs, and so on—like David. To steal the air-car, David just had to tap two buttons on his iAdedeji roll-phone, bypassing ancient security protocols.

      His knee burned. David had forgotten about his cigarette. A bolt of hot pain made him jerk, inadvertently hitting the dashboard.

      Autopilot off, a female voice said.

      Whatever! David's vision blurred, and he closed his eyes, feeling a downward lurch.

      After a while, he opened his eyes again, sensing that someone was speaking to him.

      Excuse me, sir, a young woman, in a ridiculous blue Pioneer uniform, said. Excuse me. Are you alright?

      You...a Pioneer? David stammered.

      In charge of exoplanet colonization, Pioneers were part of the idealistic APS before they gained their independence. Nowadays, they were a greedy Guild with a military hierarchy.

      The woman, who now David realized was exactly his type, arched her excellent eyebrows. Isn't it obvious? If the uniform didn't give me away, surely the building... She pointed at the three-story office with a huge sign. It said 'PIONEERS RECRUITING OFFICE', of course. New Earth had only that one Pioneers office.

      Yeah, I want to join. David got out. The otherwise awful air-car had become a wreck.

      Oi, pirate, the female Pioneer shouted. What are you doing?

      David had a look at his reflection in the office windows. He was indeed dressed like a pathetic pirate. Whatever! Never judge a book by its cover. (As the Presence of a novelist, I couldn't agree more.) What the chomp's wrong with—?

      What's wrong with...?

      Nothing.  He meant the building. It had turned 32 degrees clockwise for David. What is it like?

      The Pioneer eyed him. What is what like?

      Being a blazing Pioneer, naturally.

      You might not find out if you don't get a move on.

      A ted-bot put an end to the awkward conversation. This way please, David.

      A routine propaganda session, medical exam, computer-aided tests, and a psychological evaluation later, David was supposed to go through a brief interview.

      He opened the door of a small room. So, you're Lieutenant Sophie Finn, David attempted a smile but failed miserably. She looked lovelier than he remembered from their brief chat.

      David strode to Sophie's desk to find coffee waiting for him.

      Pirate David, scourge of the Seven Seas. You wanted to know what being a bloody Pioneer is like. Did somebody enlighten you?

      He frowned. Not to the fullest extent of... David struggled to find the right words. How could he impress her? (In my opinion, this was a question of learning new words each day and utilizing effective techniques. I used the Memory Palace method myself.)

      Sophie gazed at her iAdedeji roll-pad. Your verbal skills are poor. Numerical skills are even worse. Not to mention pattern recognition, logic, general knowledge, reaction time... Did you even go to skoliwol? (Skoliwol was a Govoreet word for school.) We found bloody alcohol and traces of HMN in your body. There were other drugs, but we couldn't identify them all.

      Synthadurg is harmless.

      Not if you mix it with alcohol. It says so on the packaging.

      David knew that. He was only trying to make conversation. Now that Sophie loathed him, he found her more attractive. She was a princess, and he was a not-so-handsome peasant.

      My eyes are up here! Sophie glared at him.

      Her breasts were perfect or at least the mental picture David had made from the 'tip of the iceberg'. He was no good when it came to mathematics or logic, however, he could extrapolate.

      I was admiring your uniform.

      "Whatever, David! Unfortunately, New Earth doesn't exactly offer us a lot of

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