Gabriel’s Light: Spiritual Poetic Musings
By BJ Feeney
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About this ebook
BJ Feeney
BJ Feeney currently resides in a western suburb of Boston, Massachusetts with her husband, Marty. A retired educator, she recalls years of working with her students and peers with a great deal of fondness. BJ’s BS in Education and MS in Education allowed her to serve as a reading/writing consultant in the public schools, giving her many opportunities to appreciate and respect multiple cultures and learning styles. BJ credits her parents, John and Margaret Karr, for creating a literary environment where she could grow and learn. Yearly birthday memoir letters composed for other family members, anniversary letters expressing deep sentiments and/or humor, diaries holding philosophies, essays regarding life, occasions for poetic musings, and many opportunities for oral discussions, storytelling, and so on are some enduring memories for BJ. “I’ve been writing as a means of expression since I was a child,” she reflects. “That’s what writers do. We write about what inspires us, always taking mental notes as we observe and categorize life into its myriad possibilities for others and ourselves. We inspire each other with our words, pictures, paintings and music – whatever artistic form gives voice to our emotional/spiritual selves – presenting them as a gift to the world.” BJ continues to grow and learn professionally by subscribing to Poets & Writers, attending workshops and courses affiliated with Grub Street in Boston and The Loft in Sherborn, and participating in writers’ roundtables. In addition, she holds a degree as a certified Master Reiki Shamballa Instructor, practicing other religious modalities as they introduce themselves along the way. In the future, BJ intends to write children’s literary picture books, thematic poetry anthologies, flash fiction collections, and snapshot memoirs. She recently co-wrote a fantasy picture book with her grandson, Austin, and is anxious to publish it as a second-third-grade guided reading book.
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Gabriel’s Light - BJ Feeney
Laments
GettyImages-883113820.jpgPeace
If only it could be
for all time …
I am sorry
for all that
has happened,
for all that will happen
in the name of justice.
Will humankind ever learn
to compromise, give in?
Cannot God intercede?
Or is it all part
of the greater plan?
The greater blueprint,
with sinewy threads,
binds us all
in the end
to Him.
Some days
I find it hard
to give my soul
up to Him.
Still trying
to control
that which I
cannot.
Yearning for
that ever-elusive
peace.
Lurking
It comes as a pulse,
lurking behind
my eyes, pounding
in a steady rhythm.
I tire of it all.
The expectations
I put on myself.
They are there
when I slumber.
Again when I rise,
slowly emerging through
a blurry dream state,
trying to refocus,
rethink my paths.
I cannot shirk
my duties but
give voice otherwise
to those who
will listen
to the steady
complaining rhythms
echoing
through my soul.
Light Switches
Light switches go on and off
in my ethereal brain.
Dysfunction rules the nest.
Discordant energies take over
where feeble solace has resided.
There is nothing left but pity.
The more I search for a peaceful haven,
the harder the journey’s climb,
attracting negative field forces
to fill the holes exposed between
the shorted emotional circuitry
of my unbridled mind/self.
Where is the control panel?
I lost it on some quest
for undeceived redemption
that knew long before I that
the payment was overdue;
a tardy assignment unrealized
even though contracted,
the time having run out.
A disconnected exchange sways
like a leery black cat’s tail,
sweeping back and forth
over the same blasted issue,
wary avoidance disguised in
its deceptive shadowy garb,
a decisive slap in the face.
These light switches will never
function as long as I continue to
eject the broken records left
lying out in the open
for all to unfavorably discern.
My lineage is distrustful of
another contract stifled by ineptness,
and rightly so, I say, rightly so …
Fly Away Home
Sometimes I feel
I need to fly away
from all the worldly
cares and woes.
Spread my wings,
leave it all behind.
Here, underneath
my blanket of rest,
I can already sense
the peace.
But then my eyes open,
and I am still here,
some unfinished
business my soul
must need to do.
But oh, how I wish
I could just spread
my wings and
fly away home.
Victimization
Who has been traumatized
more than the other?
It is the universal question.
Is the murderer’s heart,
hardened by years
of tortured silence,
any less the victim
than the one lying
prone at his feet,
an innocent participant
in his demise,
open and bare for
all to see and judge,
all of us who have
been the abusers
as well as the abused?
Who is really to
blame along these
interwoven tales of woe?
The universe weeps
for timely relief,
weary of repeated
patterns of sorrow.
Anger spent.
Anger coiled
for another strike
in another time.
Victimization.
In or Out?
Are you in or out?
I ask myself this question
whenever I feel the fear
well up inside me,
taking over my sense
of uncertain self.
It is a task
I do not relish,
answering that
perennial question
we all ask ourselves
at one time or another.
Are you in or out?
I hear it reverberate
down the misguided paths
of my past adventures,
left upon some hillside
for immediate reflection.
It is a task
I readily avoid,
shirking the work
required to find
that answer within
my defensive self.
Are you in or out?
I’m tired of
this gnawing interrogation
presented by self to self.
It may be time to take
it on full force,
a risk worth the
soul’s complaints.
Indigestion
Shades of gaseous emissions
lodged in my sore throat.
Leftover lies I’ve secretly
shared with my vulnerable