The Shadow of Death: Reconciling My Faith with the Diagnosis of Cancer
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The feelings of abandonment have passed, but the shadows of death still linger in me. God is my righteous source of hope, and I will fear no evil. His rod and His staff provide comfort, and he is leading me beside the still water. God is with me in this journey. He has provided endless saints to pray for me. They are not aware of the comfort Ive felt as they have lifted me to the throne room of God. Truly His staff has rescued me, and His rod has corrected me. I am in the hands of an awesome God.
Peter T Quinn
Peter Quinn was born in 1950. His family moved to Bonita Springs, Florida, in 1955, where he still resides. Peter married his high school sweetheart in 1969. Together they have five children and now have nineteen grandchildren. All five children are serving God in some ministry capacity. Peter worked as a plumbing contractor in his earlier years and was involved in planting a couple of local churches. Peter was the senior pastor of one of the churches for three years. He became president of Manna Christian Missions in 1987 and served in that capacity for twenty-four years. He is now the vice president, and his son, Michael, is the president. Peter received a bachelor’s in missiology from Logos Bible College and served on the executive board of directors for Logos from 1996 until 2003. Peter was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2011. He had a colon resection and was assured he was cancer free. The doctors found no cancer in the lymph nodes or the colon. Three years later the same symptoms reappeared, necessitating another colon resection and was rediagnosed with terminal colon cancer and given three years to live. This is Peter’s story and his struggle to reconcile his faith with the healing power of God.
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The Shadow of Death - Peter T Quinn
Copyright © 2015 Peter T Quinn.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.
Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.
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ISBN: 978-1-5127-2167-6 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-5127-2168-3 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-5127-2166-9 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2015919579
WestBow Press rev. date: 02/19/2016
Contents
Introduction
From E
From Kim
From Kathleen
From Rebecca
Psalm 118:17: I Will Not Die, but Live.
Isaiah 43:1–3: Do Not Fear
Isaiah 41:10: So Do Not Fear
Revelation 1:17–18: Do Not Be Afraid
Matthew 10:30–31: And Even the Very Hairs
Luke 12:22, 25: Therefore, I Tell You
Hebrews 10:35–36: Do Not Throw Away Your
Romans 4:3, 16–17: Abraham Believed God
Hebrews 13:5: Never Will I Leave You.
Philippians 4:6: So Do Not Be Anxious about Anything
Hebrews 2:14–15: He Might Destroy Him Who Holds the Power of Death
2 Timothy 1:7–8: For God Did Not Give Us a Spirit of
Matthew 10:32: Whoever Acknowledges Me before
Luke 12:8: I Tell You, Whoever Acknowledges Me before Men and Angels
Romans 10:9: If You Confess with Your Mouth
Job 2:10: Shall We Accept Good from God and Not Trouble?
Job 3:25–26: And Now What I Feared Has Come upon Me
Job 4:2–4: If Someone Ventures a Word with You
Job 4:5–6: But Now Trouble Comes to You
Isaiah 64:4: No One Has Heard, No Ear Perceived
Psalm 33:18–22: The Eyes of the Lord
Isaiah 65:22: For as the Day of a Tree
Isaiah 65:23–24: They Will Not Toil in Vain
2 Samuel 22:5–7, 17: The Waves of Death Swirled around Me
Psalm 34:15, 17–18, 20: The Eyes of the Lord Are on the Righteous
Psalm 41:1–3: Blessed Is He Who Has Regard for the Weak
Psalm 50:15: Call on Me in the Day of Trouble
Ecclesiastes 3:11: He Has Made Everything Beautiful in Its Time
Psalm 138:7: Though I Walk in the Midst of Trouble
Isaiah 46:4: Even to Your Old Age and Gray Hairs
Isaiah 61:3: To Bestow on You a Garment
Isaiah 49:15–16: I Will Not Forget You
John 14:1–3: Do Not Let Your Hearts Be Troubled
Hebrews 11:6: And without Faith, It Is Impossible to Please God
Hebrews 11:1: Faith Is Being Sure of What We Hope
Romans 8:28–29: We Know That in All Things, God Works for the Good
1 Thessalonians 4:3, 7: It Is God’s Will That You Should Be Holy
1Thessalonians 5:16–18, 23–24: Be Joyful Always; Pray Continually
Colossians 1:11–12: Be Strengthened
Psalm 23:1–4: The Lord Is My Shepherd
–Psalm 116:3, 6, 8–9, 15: The Cords of Death Strangled Me
Psalm 118:18: The Lord Has Chastened Me Severely
Psalm 119:19: For I Am a Stranger on Earth
Psalm 119:37, 40, 50, 67–68, 71: Renew My Life according to Your Word
Ecclesiastes 7:2: Death Is the Destiny of Every Man
Ephesians 1:11, 13–14: In Him We Were Also Chosen
2 Corinthians 1:21–22: He Anointed Us
2 Corinthians 1:9: In Our Hearts, We Felt the Sentence of Death
Ephesians 2:22: In Him You Are Being Built Together
Hebrews 3:6: Christ Is Faithful
Acts 1:4–5, 8: But Wait for the Gift My Father Promised
Acts 2:4: All of Them Were Filled with the Holy Spirit
Colossians 2:13–14: God Made You Alive with Christ
Colossians 3:1–4: Since Then, You Have Been Raised with Christ
1 Peter 4:1–2: He Who Has Suffered in His Body Is Done with Sin
Proverbs 3:5–8: Trust in the Lord with All Your Heart
Proverbs 4:20, 22: My Son, Pay Attention to What I Say
Jeremiah 30:17: I Will Restore You to Health
Psalm 107:19–20: They Cried to the Lord
Isaiah 53:5, 4: He Was Pierced for Our Transgressions
Philippians 1:6: He Who Began a Good Work in You
Philippians 1:20–21: Christ Will Be Exalted in My Body
James 1:2–4, 12: Consider It Pure Joy, My Brothers
Psalm 91:14–16: Because He Loves Me,
Says the Lord
Proverbs 3:1–2: My Son, Do Not Forget My
John 14:6: I Am the Way
Endnotes
Dedicated to my Lord, Jesus Christ; my wife Marilyn;
and those who have inspired and helped me in the process of healing.
INTRODUCTION
PETER’S HEALING SCRIPTURES
I will not die but live; He has not given me over to death.¹
Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, [insert your name]. You are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. When you walk through the river, it will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned. The flames will not set you ablaze. I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior,² so do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.³ Do not be afraid; I am the first and the last. I am the Alpha and the Omega. I am the living one; I was dead, and behold, I am alive forever and ever! (And) I hold the keys of death and Hades.⁴
Even the very hairs on your head are all numbered. You are worth more than many sparrows.⁵ Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life; who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?⁶ Do not throw away your confidence. It will be richly rewarded; you need to persevere, and you will receive the promise.⁷ Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness. The promise comes by faith, so that it may be by grace. The God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.⁸
Never will I leave you. Never will I forsake you,⁹ so do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.¹⁰ God destroys Satan, who holds the power of death and frees those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.¹¹
For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline, so do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord.¹² Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.¹³ I tell you, whoever acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man will also acknowledge him before the angels of God.¹⁴ (And) if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord,
and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.¹⁵
Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?¹⁶ What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness; I have not rest, but only turmoil.¹⁷ If someone ventures a word with you, will you be impatient? But who can keep from speaking? Think how you have instructed many, how you have strengthened feeble hands; your words have supported those who stumbled, and you have strengthened faltering knees.¹⁸ But now trouble comes to you, and you are discouraged; it strikes you, and you are dismayed.
Should not your righteousness be your confidence and your blameless ways your hope?¹⁹ No one has heard, no ear perceived, no eye has seen any god beside you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him.²⁰ The eyes of the Lord are on those who fear Him, on those whose hope is in His unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive. We wait in hope; our hearts rejoice, and we trust in unfailing love.²¹
For as the days of a tree, so will be the days of my people; my chosen ones will long enjoy the works of their hands.²² They will not toil in vain. They will be a people blessed by the Lord, they and their descendants with them. Before they call, I will answer them; while they are speaking, I will hear.²³ The waves of death swirled around me: the cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me.
In my distress, I called to the Lord. I called out to my God. From His temple, He heard my voice: my cry came to His ears. He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of the deep waters. He rescued me.²⁴ The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are attentive to their cry. The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. He protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.²⁵ Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the Lord delivers him in times of trouble. The Lord will protect him and preserve his life. The Lord will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness.²⁶
Call on me in your day of trouble; I will deliver you.²⁷ He has made everything beautiful in its time; He has also set eternity in the hearts of men.²⁸ Even though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life. You stretch out your hand; with your right hand, you save me.²⁹
Even to your old age and gray hair, I am He; I am He who will sustain you. I have made you, and I will carry you. I will sustain you, and I will rescue you.³⁰ I will bestow on you a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.³¹ I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands: your walls are ever before me.³² Do not let your hearts be troubled—trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. I am going there to prepare a place for you, and if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me.³³
Without faith, it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must