Down the Bayou Cajuns

Copyright © 2015 Gordon J. Voisin.

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ISBN: 978-1-5043-3076-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-3077-0 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 04/08/2015

Contents

A Cajun Is

Prologue

Introduction

You Shoulda’ Said Yoe Prazz Dummy

It Hatch Frum Watermelons I Tell You

Toilet Paper Don’t Patch Up No Purple Heart Wound

Bone Narrows And X-Trays

Lesson One On How To Not Make Friends And Not Become Popular

Oh, Oh, Now De Fit Done Hit De Shan

Marbles, Marbles and More Marbles

Dead Veeyannas And Popcorn Rice

A Cajun Version Of Down De Bayou Sports

Me And The Gadget Man

And Watt If De Geem Warrens Ketch Us

One Snake In De Boat Don’t Wurt Two In De Bush

Now You Cookin’ Witt Gas Ponda

Anh? You Mean Nonk Sam Want Me?

Dat Web-Footed Loozie-Yanna Point Man Cajun

Eating Crow and Humble Pie Can Give You the Loose Bottles

First Down! Anh?

Political Meanderings

The Basics of Peed-row

About the Author

This Book is Dedicated to

Linest & Iona

Lillian

Matthew, Amana & Rick

Allison & Tommy

Tyler & Natasha

Aubrey & Avery

Deanie, Eva, Simon,

Mona, David, Kim & Nella

A Cajun Is

…Usually the one not wearing shoes.

… Someone who can eat anything (except Mountain Oysters), that won’t eat him first.

…Someone who would rather drink Dixie Beer than sip champagne.

…Someone at the wedding, wearing a tuxedo, a flower on his lapel and wearing his brand new, too nuff Dulac Rebokks (white shrimp boots).

…The little girl who say Snot me, sim diddit. Gordon diddit, when asked if it was she or me who raided the cookie jar.

…The only species of human beans who sound right when she’s talking to some Up North people. She’ the only one who don’t got no accent.

…The little boy who think Mardi Graw should be a national holiday.

…The little boy who name his puppies Noo-noo, Tee-chime, Tee-choon, Pookie and Alfonse.

…The little girl who put an oyster sack by the Christmas tree. She knows that Sanny Claws can’t put no bicycle in a little old stocking.

…A guy who, if you ketch him wearing alligator shoes, then they’re probably’ still moving.

…The drunk who tells his wife that he came home late last night because an alligator ate his paddle and he had to use his hands to paddle his pee-rogue home.

…The little girl who don’t got no accent (Like little Johnny’s the only one in the band who’s marching straight, it’s all of the other ones who are out of step).

…The lady up the bayou who hear on the radio that the Yankees sweep the White Sox and she thinks it’s funny that those North people clean their socks with a broom.

…The lady down the bayou go wait by the mailbox because she heard on the television that the President is gonna’ deliver a speech.

Prologue

Groan-coo and May-neg a tay ah-pray pawn say about the good old times ah lawt cob awn du pay-shay anh jour-nay, and we were poll-lay duh lay bon-tonh, daze awn-nay that were pah coam laze awn-nay ah stir the good old days that we took part in. Say pah muh-yur kuh laze awn-nay pah-say. Ought a-tay ah-pray poll-lay duh luh mee-zair conh nought a-tay daze onh-fonh," May-neg said, Tee tonh rah-pell conh knees-ought ah fay day moe-vay ah-fairs? "Tell me, May-neg, tee-tonh rah-pell daze affairs, conh knees-ought a tay day teez onh-fonh, a conh knees-zawt a-tay, daze ohm," Groan-coo said. "Monh rah-pell," said May-neg." Tee rah-pell luh tonh conh tee ah shtay luh shah du-sue tonh teet surr? said Groan-coo. And so it went, day-fwaw ah-pray day-fwaw, story after story, duh ought ah fay lonh tonh pah-say, poss-kuh anh fwaw.

Translation: Groan-coo and May-neg were thinking about the good old times at their fishing camp one day and they were talking about the good times, those years that were not like the years now. They were talking about the trouble we got into when we were little children. May-neg said. Do you remember when we did some bad things, Tell me, May-neg, do you remember when we were little children and then when we were men? Groan-coo said. I remember, said May-neg. Do you remember when you threw the cat on your little sister? said Groan-coo. And so it went, one time after another, story after story that we had done a long time ago, at one time.

Laze Ah-cod-yanh, ah foo-tu anh cood-pyea ah lay Cod-yanh a-conh ought ah mee lawt dah-bar duh lay bah-toe, pozz-kuh laze Ah-cod-yanh a too lay mawn voo-lay pah lay Cod-yanh a ought ah gah-row-shay lay Cod-yan duh A-kade-ya, Groan-coo said. They sent them to the South to get rid of them. Ah-loss sah say tay lonh tonh pah-say, he added. For the time being onh nay tay ah-pray poll-lay about the present and decades past. Sah say tay lay bon tonh conh nought a-tay day tee-boog, a key nought ah-fay a conh knees-ought a tay daze ohm, said Groan coo. Juh vott dear, Groan-coo, daze affairs conh nought ah fay. Tee cawn-nay daze ah-fair ont lay deux duh knees-ought ah fay. Anh june-nay monh vah a-creer anh liv duh lay mee-zair kuh knees-ought ah fay daze an ought fwaw, said May-neg.

Translation: The Acadians gave a kick of the foot to the Cajuns and they put them on the boats, because the Acadians and all of the people didn’t want the Cajuns and cast them away from Acadia, said Groan Coo. They sent them South to get rid of them. And that was a long time ago, he added. For the time being, however, we were talking about the present and a few decades in the past. That was the good times when we were little boys and the things that we did as men, said Groan-coo. I’ll tell you, Groan-coo, the things that we did, you know, that the two of us did. One day I’m going to write a book about the troubles of another time, said May-neg.

Introduction

In the early ‘1700’s my forefathers set sail from France and landed in Acadia. Word was that the Frenchmen were the dregs of French society, but that’s never been proven, as I had read somewhere. More specifically, they were sent to Acadia, a maritime Province in Eastern Canada. Acadia included Nova Scotia and New Brunswick. The French attempted to assimilate there but failed. My best guess is that the Acadians, who were named Ah-cod-yanh, morphed into Cajun, or Cod-yanh, and were seen as a lower class of Acadians.

The Acadians were more than glad to get rid of them years later. The Cajuns were cast away by ship headed South in a movement called "Luh Groan-day-ronge monh," or wholesale of ridding themselves of the lower class Cajuns in 1755, which was seen as an attempt to get rid of the unwanted lower class Cajuns. Most, of them, found their way to New Orleans. Some settled there, but many of them found their way to South Louisiana, mostly in the parishes of Lafourche and Terrebonne, South of Lafayette and their many bayous that dot the map of the Frenchmen and the Native American settlers. Others settled in places such as Pierre Part and Breaux Bridge. There were other places but few settled there. The Cajuns were greeted with open arms by the Frenchmen and the Native Americans who inhabited the area. They quickly learned to ply their trades, making their living off the land and the sea. They found the conditions favorable and they decided to make their homes along the many bayous that had access to the Gulf of Mexico and the bountiful seafood that existed there.

Most settled there but the older brother decided to head West. Some of our forefathers settled on a strip of land named Last Island in the Northern part of the Gulf of Mexico. One of my forefathers obtained a Spanish land Grant and was sole owner of the Island. A few years later the rich people began to sell pieces of the Island, and eventually kicked our forefather off of his own land. Later on, when the Spanish ceded the land back to France, it was recognized that my forefather was the sole owner by the Government in Congress. Later on, the Government in Washington awarded the land to him but the rich plantation owners claimed the Island for themselves. So our forefather was literally kicked off of the land that he owned, even though Congress in Washington D.C. said that the Island was his. One of the sons of our forefather filed suit in a federal court but history shows that the case was never heard. So they had no choice but to join their clan and make their living off of the land and sea also.

The Native Americans and the Frenchmen who had lived there for centuries showed the Cajuns their trades. The Frenchmen made their way down to the bayous of Big Shell, Little Shell, Bourg, Montegut, Point of the dog, Isle of Jean Charles, Larose, Cut off, Golden Meadows, Cocodrie, Four point, Shrimpers Row, Dulac, Grand Isle, Galliano, Bayou Lafourche and Theriot, all of which are in South Lafourche and South Terrebonne Parishes.

My theory -- again, based on my best guess -- is that the city folks wanted to distance themselves from the unsophisticated bayou folks, and they were given the nickname of