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    Be Happy with Crappy: A Journey Through Trauma, Addiction, Rock-Bottom and Recovery
    Be Happy with Crappy: A Journey Through Trauma, Addiction, Rock-Bottom and Recovery
    Be Happy with Crappy: A Journey Through Trauma, Addiction, Rock-Bottom and Recovery
    Ebook82 pages1 hour

    Be Happy with Crappy: A Journey Through Trauma, Addiction, Rock-Bottom and Recovery

    By David W. Yeager

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Be Happy with Crappy is a personal journey through trauma, gambling addiction, and the tools used in recovery. It is a journey of discovery. While the events are my own, many who are in recovery or who seek recovery may well be able to identify with the thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is a joy to be able to share this journey
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherXlibris US
    Release dateJul 2, 2009
    ISBN9781477162361
    Be Happy with Crappy: A Journey Through Trauma, Addiction, Rock-Bottom and Recovery
    Author

    David W. Yeager

    About the Author Dave was born in Philadelphia, PA and grew up mostly in rural Berks County, PA (outside of Philadelphia). He has 11 years in the U.S. Army. He is divorced with 2 children. Dave has a diverse educational background with primary emphasis in Business Administration. Over the course of the last several years, Dave has done extensive personal work and research in the areas of addiction and personal trauma. He is currently studying to become a vocational rehabilitation specialist to help others return to the work world.

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      Book preview

      Be Happy with Crappy - David W. Yeager

      Copyright © 2009 by David W. Yeager.

      ISBN:          Softcover                                 978-1-4415-4775-0

                         Ebook                                      978-1-4771-6236-1

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

      in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including

      photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval

      system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

      To order additional copies of this book, contact:

      Xlibris Corporation

      1-888-795-4274

      www.Xlibris.com

      [email protected]

      61310

      CONTENTS

      Introduction

      Chapter 1

      Chapter 2

      Chapter 3

      Chapter 4

      Chapter 5

      Chapter 6

      Chapter 7

      Chapter 8

      Chapter 9

      Chapter 10

      Chapter 11

      Chapter 12

      DEDICATION

      To my daughter Amanda and my son Jared.

      You are the shining beacons that light my soul and guide my way.

      The Torch

      There is a torch. A torch whose flame is a

      brilliant golden-yellow. It is the Torch of Hope.

      The torch provides light during the darkest hour.

      It warms and embraces the coldest and most lost

      of souls. It is the true beacon of hope when it

      seems there is none.

      The torch is always there. It is being extended for

      the taking. If we see it, and take it, then it’s

      magnificent power is felt instantly. If we do

      not… it is still there, waiting, burning.

      Reach out. Take the torch. See it’s light, feel it’s

      warmth. Take in it’s healing power.

      And when the true intensity of the torch has

      penetrated, and warmed you to the depths of

      your soul… pass it on, so it can warm another.

      Introduction

      It was a winter day in

      Cleveland. The wind off of Lake Erie was whipping and the temperature outside was about 18 degrees. I was in the house, because there was no way I was going out in this stuff. It was Monday night. I’d had a rough day at work. I’d just finished watching my favorite Monday night TV and I was off to bed. When I first hop into bed I typically journal a bit about the day’s events. This is so I can reflect, and put the day into perspective. This day, however, was different. I put the pen to the paper (in the little notebook I carry with me everywhere) and the words just began to flow. This was not going to be a typical journaling session. I let the pen go. Two hours later I picked the pen up. Holy Cow! I’d just written a chapter and a half. And I was not journaling about my day. I was writing about my life. I got an overwhelming feeling that I had just embarked on the single most important journey of my life. And so it began.

      What you are about to get into is me… plain and simple. I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, faith healer, see sayer, or even a snake oil salesman. I’m just a guy. A guy who’s experienced trauma, been through a bout with addiction, went through some very dark days, and has begun on a marvelous journey of recovery.

      I’ll take you on a walk through past experiences. But I will not focus on graphically detailed accounts of events. I will focus on an overview of events and focus more on the affect they had on me. This, to me, is far more important because it has a much bigger impact on what’s worked, and working, in recovery.

      I will take you through, in my mind, the darkest days of my life; Through Days of deceit, self-doubt, embarrassment, and self-harm. This is a period of my life I’d really like to forget. I’d done so much harm to so many people, and myself. But I think it’s important to remember this time.

      I’ll then bring you through a period of discovery. What I’ve discovered about what makes me tick, and why nothing I was trying to do to get better was working. We will make our way through my explorations of fundamental beliefs, and how I’ve begun to break them down and rebuild them. You’ll discover the tools and exercises that have allowed me to begin to experience hope and recovery.

      Some of what you’ll see will be a bit raw, and maybe even a tad disturbing. Just bear with it. I promise it gets better. And please don’t take pity. I’m not writing this for pity, or to make anyone sad, or to show how bad my life was. I’m writing it because the process of recovery has been truly liberating for me. In fact, writing this has been liberating. And I feel the need to share.

      Please don’t expect me to offer advice, or give you detailed breakdowns of some of the tools I use. I’m not nearly qualified to do so. If someone sees a tool or technique that seems like it might be helpful, please see a professional. I’m not trying to change peoples’ lives. I think people have to decide to change their own lives. But if one thing I say strikes a chord with one person who decides to take a further look at themselves, it will bring me great satisfaction. And I would hope that if this happens that person would not seek me out

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