Building the Best Version of You

Foreword

Society Says . . .

All my life I knew one thing, I was a top performer at most everything I did. Until I reached my early thirties and my health took a hit. Everything I had known as a constant in life changed—my career, my friends, my projects, my highly coveted office, my routine, my health, my looks—the many things I had excelled at in life slipped through my fingers like the grains of sand on a beach. The more I grasped, the quicker it all escaped. Pushed into a life of unknowns, I was forced to take on responsibilities and roles I had never wanted nor experienced. Until one day I hit my threshold and an awakening occurred. I realized that although I had excelled at many things in life, the truth was, I had only attempted things I knew I could do well. Whether I truly enjoyed them or not, it was a fail-proof way of living.

Completely frustrated, I turned to the Internet and, as though by divine intervention, came across my soon-to-be coach and friend—Mr. Harris Kern. Working with Mr. Kern I realized the subliminal impact society has had on our way of thinking. Brainwashed by what Mr. Kern often called, complete and utter NONSENSE, I believed life and I were fragile. After all society says…

• You must sleep at least eight hours a night

• Your happiness is not dependent on finances

• You should never overexert yourself

• Your life is not meant to be difficult

• You should never push yourself if you don’t feel well

• You can always find a quick fix for everything

• You will only succeed if you take on what you can handle

• Your weekend is here, it’s time for fun and relaxation

• You must finish one goal before moving on to the next

• You shouldn’t exercise every day, your body needs a break

These are just some of the false message’s society has been pontificating on us for eons, playing a major role in the way we think and operate. Do you honestly believe you will accomplish your goals and achieve self-mastery if you buy-in to this? These self-limiting beliefs ingrained in our minds serve no other purpose than to handicap us. With a little pixie dust magic, we believe that simply hoping for the best will magically summon Prince Charming to waltz through the door . . . fixing all of life’s problems.

Wake up and smell the coffee! Life is hectic and the demands are endless. We are told to live life to the fullest, but have we ever really stopped to ponder what this means. Although we may not realize it, living life to the fullest actually requires you to push yourself beyond your limits. Practically speaking, All men are NOT created equal, in that what is good for one person is not necessarily good for another. To move forward in life, one must begin by learning how their minds and bodies operate. Only then can we use this knowledge to differentiate bad pain from good pain to be able to push ourselves forward. Then, just when we think we’ve hit our limit, we push a little more. The ultimate goal—do what you love, and the work becomes play.

Having worked with Harris Kern, I now stand in front of the mirror with a better understanding of who I am, including my strengths and weaknesses. Defined by each, I have acquired a new-found strength to push myself to new-found limits. In the process mistakes are inevitable, but as long as you are honest with yourself and others, life will always turn out okay in the end.

—A’ishah Khan

Preface

I thank you for selecting this book as a source of guidance. I’ve poured over four decades of experience into this piece in the hopes of helping you build the best version of you! My experience ranges from mentoring over 700 coaching clients to working with almost 150 different Fortune 500 and Global 2000 companies. From parents, soldiers, entrepreneurs, Uber drivers, students, police officers, executives, even a professional prostitute, you name an occupation and I’ve probably mentored someone from that field. In fact, my experience has reached all six continents, leaving only Antarctica yet to be claimed. Why is this important to you? Because as you read this book, I want you to know that practically any issue out there, regardless of age, sex, nationality, financial status, marital issues, cultural barriers, you name it, I’ve seen it and dealt with it. Having worked with a variety of clients, my experience is applicable to everyone.

Yet, who am I to tell you my writings are the words of wisdom you should follow? Why should you listen to me? Life is precious and my passion to help individuals be more productive is second to none. Regardless of my experience working with others, more importantly I walk the talk and have practiced what I preach every day of my life. Living life with urgency, adamant to not waste a minute of it, I have been able to: exercise every day of the year, travel all over the world, establish several successful businesses, purchase my first home at the age of nineteen, raise a wonderful family, achieve financial security by the age of thirty-eight, publish over forty books in multiple languages, and even train my mind to only sleep four hours a night. While I am not here to push my hardcore lifestyle on anyone else, unless they so desire, my goal is to help you gain the discipline needed to accomplish your goals so you can be successful and happy.

In fact, the superseding goal applicable to all aspects of my life is DISCIPLINE—the catalyst for all of my success. However, regardless of how disciplined I became, I also needed to develop my Emotional Quotient (EQ) to manage my emotions and to better understand how to maneuver through highly emotional situations—especially when dealing with other professionals. Therefore, to live a fulfilling life you need to be disciplined and possess a high EQ. Whether it’s the way I control my emotions, manage my relationships, maintain my motivation, achieve my financial goals, attain spiritual gratification, maintain my health regimen, or even excel in my businesses—discipline and EQ are the key mechanisms through which I train my clients to view and manage their life. After working with me, my clients learn to basically eat, sleep and even shit, discipline. As I have always emphasized, once discipline becomes the defining element in your life you can achieve almost anything; without it, you struggle to exist.

In fact, often out of desperation to improve, individuals google the word discipline to find me. Having failed achieving lasting change with other life coaches, these persons contact me because they’re unproductive (super undisciplined) and squandering their life away. At this point you might be asking yourself, what makes my method different from others? The answer in short is: my technique requires seven days a week accountability. Most life or success coaches facilitate a one-hour a week appointment to help you develop personally and professionally. This is total bunk! To date you’ve been unproductive your entire life—to break these bad habits will require a continuous commitment on your part and that of someone who will partner with you to hold you accountable to your goals and obligations. The effort involved to become consistently productive by being efficient in every aspect of life is not easy, so please don’t ask me how long this transformation will take as no two individuals are alike, but I promise you will see results immediately. My technique is unique as it requires you to be held accountable (initially by me) to your obligations, tasks and goals seven days a week, while helping you train your mind so you can eventually hold yourself accountable.

Witnessing my life coaching clients transform their lives, become efficient, and accomplish their goals is a feeling that is indescribable and something I would like to help you achieve as well. Throughout the years, my clients have helped me refine the concepts in this book, although they didn’t know this, and I didn’t realize it at the time. I have fond memories from all of them. Similarly, I hope you the reader take away from this book the importance of adopting my principles for success and happiness, leaving you with memories that are just as fond.

If you need further assistance on how to strategize to make the most out of your life, I am offering 45 minutes of complimentary consultation via telephone: 818.404.9248, Skype, What’sApp, FaceTime or you can meet with me in person if you live near my homes in Frisco, Texas or Fort Lauderdale, Florida. You can also e-mail me at [email protected].

—Harris Kern

Introduction

One-third of your life is spent sleeping, one-third is spent working, the remaining one-third should be priceless, but unfortunately, it’s not treated as such. In fact, much of your life is an afterthought, causing you to squander away a minimum of four hours a day due to poor self-management. You’re not realizing that to take control of your life it’s important to focus on pursuing excellence in all areas of life. Your odds of success will greatly improve, as you finally become consistently productive. So, fasten your seatbelt and get ready, you are moments away from unlocking the truth to Building the Best Version of You.

Until now, you had little choice but to get up and be at your place of employment on time and perform your duties. The discipline required to enact this ritual daily is instinctual and mostly driven by the fear of not getting paid. However, once the workday ends your mannerisms go by the wayside, you let down your hair and have fun without adhering to any discipline. Unfortunately, this mentality is addictive and almost impossible to turn off and be productive again. Resulting in a miserable struggle, as you attempt to complete your household obligations and goal-related tasks before another workday begins.

Part of the problem lies in our society’s view of the word discipline. Currently, the word is rarely used at home or in the office. Rather, the most common place you hear the word used is with professional athletes in rigorous training or occasionally at the gym amongst some hardcore bodybuilders. Mentioned elsewhere, it is usually in the context of punitive punishment. Discipline should not be viewed as punishment or couched as something negative. On the contrary, mentoring on the importance of discipline is the best gift a parent can instill in their child.

In fact, the lens through which you view the world must be discipline to achieve self-mastery with everything you do. Being disciplined will take you to new heights and the rewards are second-to-none. For example, imagine the feeling of seeing your awesome invention being sold like hotcakes on Amazon. Feel the excitement of seeing your own authored book on the shelves of a bookstore. Imagine having enough money to buy whatever you desire or how about doing something that positively impacts others. Stop and ask yourself, How badly do you want to see your dreams become a reality?

In this book, I share with you the Ten Principles for Success and Happiness (Chapters 1-10). In my quest to consolidate my years of mentoring into a finite number of beliefs, the number wavered quite a bit. Until one day things fell into place and ten became the defining theme. Each chapter is a key principle for Building the Best Version of You.

For me, this book fulfills my vision of helping others by designing a strategy for personal and professional development that is simple and easy to follow, a manual of sorts that provides the proof and not just the hype. The Ten Principles highlighted in this book are proven, as I have used them to mentor over 700 individuals and 150 organizations, spanning four decades of my life. In fact, I owe my success in life to acquiring discipline along with maturing my EQ. There is no doubt in my mind that the principles highlighted in each chapter are the core drivers you need to make your dreams a reality!

How it Started for Me

Keep in mind, I was not always this way. My story dates back to when I was thirteen years old barely making it through school. My neighbor, Jim Jarman, on the other hand was in his forties and what a specimen he was: intelligent, handsome, great physique, nice home, car and a beautiful family of four. I looked up to him and we often clowned around trading sarcasm most days of the week. Until one warm summer California day, when my neighbor Jim was outside mowing the lawn. It was this day I heard those five magical words that would change my life forever: Harris, you look like shit.

He was right, and I knew it. At the time, I stood six feet and two inches tall and weighed one hundred thirty-five pounds despite eating everything in sight. I was a weakling who was always bullied in school. I hated life and I hated school. Always the last person picked to play on sports teams, I was called crater face due to my acne. Basically, I was the school outcast. Everyone knew of me, but for the wrong reasons. If I turned sideways, you would not be able to see me. Harris, Jim said, eating massive amounts of food is not the way to approach your problem. Your body needs a major overhaul and it doesn’t start with your mouth. At thirteen, I did not understand what he was trying to tell me. He continued, If you decide to follow my instructions to the letter, I will help you out. I want you at my house every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday by four, not a minute late. If you’re late, the deal is off—no second chances. Jim was like a drill sergeant instilling in me discipline, starting with the easiest form: punctuality. I agreed, not having a clue what was forthcoming.

Three days a week of torture, always pushing me harder than the one before. What a rude awakening. There was weight training, running, swimming and, most importantly, lecturing. He tested me every day. He would always keep me focused on the exercise and our long-term objective, while teaching me to never rely on anyone else but myself when it comes to acquiring discipline. After all, athletes know eighty percent is in the mind, especially on those days you’re too tired or stressed out and not in the mood––that’s when you push yourself the most. Looking back, I realize what an illusory mind game the entire ordeal was. He was training my mind more than my body, although I did not know it at the time.

Why I Wrote This Book

Once I started developing my self-discipline, my physique and then my confidence naturally followed. The more confident I became the more I accomplished. Jim taught me that I could achieve anything I wanted if I was disciplined. He truly cared and wanted me to be the best I could be. Yes, I had made it! Leaving me with the desire to give back and help as many people as I could make it on their own and always be productive. My experience with my mentor helped me realize my passion in life and allowed me to see what our society was missing.

This book fills a large void in our current day education system, which focuses primarily on didactic learning, leaving a gap in our youth’s everyday skills. They are growing up without the structure needed to balance all aspects of life. After my life changing experience with my mentor, I devoted my life to this path of continuous improvement. If a scrawny, academically challenged kid could be independent and successful by the age of nineteen, with his own home in the San Francisco Bay Area, anyone could do it…and this book is here to teach you how!

You Have the Power

Begin by asking yourself the following questions to help determine if this book is right for you. Do you really like what you see in the mirror? Are you happy with your current lifestyle? Would you like your life to be more organized? Do you wish you could be more consistent with your exercise routine? Would you like to have a few extra hours at the end of each week? Do you wish you could be more sincere with your commitments? Would you like to be motivated every day? Do you wish these questions would end? If any of these questions helped you realize there is a void in your life, you should find this book helpful regardless of where you stand today.